Jessika, my thirty-one-year-old lover, stayed over Saturday night, just as she had Friday, but there was no sex. She offered me another blowjob just as we climbed into bed, but when I suggested we forgo all sexual activity that night, she agreed. The bladder infection she had feared came on fully that evening, and although I had no doubt that she was willing to please me in other ways than intercourse, I also knew she felt miserable.

Mid-morning on Sunday, I took her home. Jessika gave me a long goodbye kiss, and "I love you" almost slipped out of my mouth afterward. But instead, I settled for a follow-up hug and a promise from her to call or text me to let me know how she was doing.

When I returned home after dropping Jessika off at her place, I finished my work for the next week's classes then wrote for a few hours. Jessika texted me a few times during the afternoon and evening, mainly with updates about her condition, which was not worse but also was not better, and her plans to try to see her doctor on Monday. Around 10:00 pm I texted Jessika to tell her goodnight. Her reply was simply an emoji of a pair of lips in a kissing shape, but even that simple, little picture allowed me to go to sleep under a sense of lighthearted contentment.

Monday afternoon, I picked up a call from Jessika.

"Well, it's a UTI alright," she announced without even saying hello.

"Sorry, Jessika," I replied, not sure what else to say.

"My doctor gave me antibiotics for the next five days, and that should clear it up. But, she also told me absolutely no sex for a week to ten days."

"Then no sex it is. And I assume she meant oral and digital as well as intercourse?"

"Yeah, she said no touching at all below the waist. I even asked about anal. She told me it was also a bad idea. So, only blowjobs, hand-jobs, and titty fucks for you for the next week, at least from me."

"Probably not likely from anyone else either," I said offhand before thinking.

"Oh. Well, that's too bad for you, I guess," Jessika responded in a tone that I thought made it clear she was not unhappy about my situation.

"We really do not have to do any of those either," I said after a couple seconds, wanting to bring the conversation back to being about my brunette lover, not anyone else.

"Well, we do on Friday. At least a blowjob, that is. And I need to know if you want your steak before the blowjob, after the blowjob, or during the blowjob. I would offer to do it both before and after, but it is steak and a blowjob day, not steak and blowjobs day."

"You do not have to..."

"Yeah, but I'm going to. So pick your time."

"Before, I guess."

"before it is. Oh, and no coming for you until then. I want a lot on me, like when we made the video. And I need copies of those videos, by the way."

"I have them on password protected and encrypted flash drives. I will give you one Friday."

***

Jessika and I did not talk again on Monday. So, Tuesday morning I texted her to ask if she was feeling okay, and she responded that she was about the same. We did not communicate otherwise, but I was not worried about that. Other than how she was physically feeling, I thought we were both in an emotionally acceptable place in our relationship. Further, I was hoping it might become even more than acceptable soon, especially given that I was starting to believe that my relationship with my twenty-year-old lover, Jessi, might be over. I had not heard from the petite blonde in over a week. Thus, I was surprised when I received a text from Jessi a few minutes before I was set to leave campus for the afternoon.

"Cum by my place. Please. Need U 2 fuck me!"

I stared at the screen, uncertain how to reply, or even if I should. Then another text pinged in on my phone.

"PLEASE! Fingers n vibe no fun. Need U."

Not listening to my own instincts, which were telling me to ignore Jessi's pleas, I texted her back.

"On my way."

***

Jessi answered her door naked, which surprised me not at all. On the drive to her apartment, I had pondered how she would approach my arrival. Part of me thought she would either be wearing just a long shirt or perhaps underwear. But a louder, more assertive part of me knew she would be naked.

"You coming in or are you going to make me stand here and freeze my tits and twat off?" the blonde asked, her voice throaty and her lusty blue eyes as lewd as her nudity.

"I seem to recall you not really caring for that word," I pointed out, not making a move to enter.

"Yeah, but I thought you would appreciate the alliteration, Mr. Warner. Now, you going to come in and fuck me or what?"

"Go put some clothes on and we will talk," I replied, looking away from her, hands in my coat pockets. My nonchalant air was an act, however. I knew I was only seconds away from doing exactly what she wanted me to do, like I always did. And also like always, I knew I would be angry with myself afterward.

Jessi favored me with one of her intense, overlong stares. But as my gaze was still turned from her, I only caught it out of the corner of my eye.

"Don't go anywhere," the blonde snarled before slamming the door.

Letting out a breath I was not aware I was holding, I felt myself relaxing. Jessi had, at least for the moment, chosen my terms instead of hers, and I was sure that was a positive sign for whatever might be left of our relationship. Conversely, I was just as sure that the current situation was not positive for my relationship with Jessika 'officially' becoming more than friends-with-benefits.

But when Jessi opened the door again, several minutes after I was expecting her back, it was clear to me that she had not truly capitulated to my condition. Yes, she was dressed, but in a way that was nearly as overtly sexual as her nudity had been, along with a problematic twist.

The young blonde stood before me wearing a flannel nightgown that I had seen once before, during our Christmas Eve together. It was a nightgown she had worn for years, and it was so small on her that not only was it very short, revealing most of her legs, but also the soft, plaid material seemed molded to every curve of her slender yet feminine body, with the buttons straining to contain even her modest bosom.

And it was not just the nightgown. She had placed her blonde hair into pigtails and had painted her pretty face with sparkling pink and purple makeup that clashed with the nightgown colors but enhanced the image of a woman playing dress up as someone much younger.

"How's this, Mr. Warner?" Jessi asked, pitching her voice higher than it normally was. "I'm dressed all nice and innocent, right? Don't you want to rip this off me and have your way with my young mouth and pussy?"

I considered leaving. I knew I should have. But I did not. Instead, I moved past her, grabbing her hand as I did so and pulling her after me. Once we were both inside, Jessi kicked the door closed, all while never taking those vivid blue eyes off mine.

"So, that got you going, huh?" she purred, pulling me to her for a kiss.

"No," I told her, wanting to mean it. Then my hands were all over her, rubbing and squeezing her breasts and bottom through the thin flannel.

"I know I said rip it off, but please don't," the blonde whispered as I fumbled with the buttons of her nightgown. "You know what this one means to me."

"I will be careful," I whispered into her ear before I kissed her earlobe.

"Maybe I should get one you can rip off me," she breathed, her hands now helping me unbutton her. "Or maybe you shouldn't make me get dressed just so you can make me get naked again when I was already naked."

"Shut up, Jessi," I growled, kissing my way down her neck then her increasingly exposed chest.

"Yes, Master," she sighed, hand interlaced in my hair.

"Just 'Mark' today, Jessi," I said, pulling away her nightgown where the soft material had clung to her nipple.

"Am I still your little slut to fuck, Mark?" she asked, one nipple hardening under my tongue even as the other did the same under my fingers.

"Yes," I assured her, switching my mouth to her other breast.

"Your bitch to make do what you want?"

"Yes."

"Your little cunt who's only good for having her holes fucked?"

"No, not today."

"Okay," Jessi gasped-I had just found her now fully exposed and dripping wet opening and slid two fingers inside of her.

"And maybe no to 'bitch' too, thinking about it," I went on, pushing my thumb against her clitoris even as my fingers moved deeper into her warmth.

"Just your slut then, Mark?"

"Yes, just my slut," I agreed, wiggling fingers and thumb.

"Fuck, you're gonna make your slut come all over your hand, Mark."

"Will you lick it clean after?" I asked her, knowing she would.

"God yes," she moaned, putting her small hand on top of mine and pushing it harder into her loins. "I'll lick anything you want, whenever you want."

"I know, Sweetie," I told her, moving my thumb faster.

"No, you don't," Jessi shook her head. "You hear 'I'll do a lot', and I mean 'I'll do whatever you want'. You might have to make me, but I'll do it."

"Let's not start..."

"I'm sorry," the blonde planted, perspiration beginning to gleam on her forehead and upper chest. "I just don't want this to end, and I'll do whatever you want so it won't. I've been thinking about nothing else since you last left last time. It just sometimes I'll get scared, or anxious, or jealous, or all three, and I need you to push me past it."

"This isn't going to end, even if you tell me 'no' and mean it," I whispered into her ear, as Jessi's cheek was now against my chest as she grasped my arm in both of hers and shook underneath my increasingly rapid manipulation of her clitoris.

Jessi opened her mouth, but in that same moment her eyes rolled up and her slender body went rigid against mine."

"I love you," she rasped, face and chest flushed, eyes closed.

"I love you," I answered, moving my thumb from her sensitive nub but keeping my fingers inside her to feel the pulsations of her vagina as it clamped tightly around my fingers.

We stood together for several seconds, Jessi clinging to me while I supported her. I was just about to speak when Jessi's face brightened into a smile and she kissed me, pushing her tongue past my lips. I kissed her back, and while we held that kiss, she pulled my hand from inside of her. Not taking her eyes from mine, she pulled back and brought my fingers up between our lips.

"Want a taste too, Mark?" she asked, eyes shining.

"I love your taste," I told her, which brought another smile. Then we both licked my fingers, although I have to say Jessi and her quick tongue probably lapped up a lot more of her juices. And once we were done, she sucked my fingers into her mouth for several seconds. All of this brought me to full arousal, and I put my other hand on her head and pushed down.

"You want me to suck your cock, Mark?' Jessi asked, but she did not drop to her knees as I expected.

"Yes, I do. I want you to deepthroat me, as you do so well."

"Just give me a minute, okay?" the blonde asked, gently moving my hand from her head. "I'll be quick."

"Okay," I replied, not sure what she was up to.

My blonde lover rubbed my arm, then hurried to her bathroom. I used that time to remove my shoes and socks, knowing Jessi's concerns about men in just socks. I also removed the dress shirt I was wearing so that I was only wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and underwear. Jessi, of course, came out of the bathroom wearing considerably less, as the flannel nightgown was gone, as were the makeup and the pigtails.

"You look beautiful," I told her, bringing her slender body against me into an embrace then a long, deep kiss.

"And you look handsome and sexy," she purred, kissing my neck. "Are you okay I took the makeup off? I was trying to play at something but it started to feel wrong. Well, not 'wrong' wrong completely, but wrong for the moment. I was just pissed you told me to put on clothes, so I picked, um, what I picked."

"And what changed?"

"I'm not pissed. Oh, and what we just did-which was sexy as fuck by the way, and just not because I got to come-it seemed much more, well, more. Adult-like. And I don't mean adult like as sex, but as in I came out playing young and you answered by treating me like a slutty, wanton woman, but a woman none the less, not a girl. Does that make sense?"

"I do not think I did anything different," I replied, not fully understanding what she was trying to tell me.

"It's how you talked to me. You weren't frustrated or upset. You weren't trying to teach me something or convince me of something. You were just matter of fact. And more, you kept doing what you were doing while you talked to me, showing me you were serious about what you were saying but not mad at me. I mean, sometimes I feel you're more like a parent than a lover, but you reacted to my attempt to play at being, um, you know, younger, by not treating me less like I was younger. More like we're equals, I guess."

"I just don't want to fight with you," I shrugged, not reading as much into our previous actions as I thought Jessi was doing.

"So, what do you want? You had mentioned something before."

"You know what I want."

"Tell me."

"I would like a blowjob."

"And wasn't there something more specific about it you mentioned," Jessi pushed, a wicked grin lighting her face.

"Deepthroating me."

"And you like that, do you?"

"You know I do."

"Tell me to do it."

"What if I ask instead?"

"You don't have to ask."

"Maybe I want to. Maybe I want it to be your choice. No, that is not right. It needs to be your choice."

"It always is, including choosing to give control to you. But before you start worrying about us repeating old arguments, hear me out, okay?"

I closed my mouth, as Jessi had correctly guessed what my reaction would be and had taken steps to avoid it. Sure, I did not want to fight, but also I wanted to encourage whatever was happening that had made Jessi seemingly more willing to discuss the nuances of our issues rather than just sticking to her guns on what she was and what she needed to be for me.

"Okay," was all I said, which earned me a quick hug and kiss.

"Now, I know it's my choice. And I love that you worry about that. And since last time, I've really tried to figure out why something I love about you is something that I react so strongly against sometimes. And it's because sometimes-hell, most of the time-I don't believe I really deserve for it to be my choice."

My first instinct was to protest, to tell her she did deserve a choice, like everyone else. But I held back, turning over her words in my mind. She had not said she did not deserve a choice, but rather that sometimes she did not believe that she deserved one.

"Now, I know you're going to tell me I do, and I know you mean that, and I know I should think that way, but it's hard. Most of my life my choices have not been my own. I'm comfortable that way. Choices make me anxious, and I know that it will be better if I just submit. Yeah, I'll still rebel, like with my family, but I always rebel my way into new situations where I can be submissive. It's who I am. But with you, I've been really thinking about whether it's who I want to be. And that scares the shit out of me, which makes me anxious, which causes me to want to submit to you more. Plus, I get off on the rough stuff. You know, because I'm fucked up. And from where I am, I can't see ever not being fucked up. But, I think I am beginning to see that I can be less fucked up. Does all that, or any of it, make sense?"

I nodded, then pulled Jessi to me for a long hug. The contact of my arms on her bare skin reminded me of something I had nearly forgotten given the conversation-my young, blonde lover was stark naked. Pushing aside my renewed arousal, I stroked her hair and held her.

"Thanks, Mark," Jessi murmured against my chest, sniffling as she did so.

"No, thank you, Sweetie, for being so open with me. Sometimes in my attempt to understand what is happening with us, with you, I forget to take into account all the things you are going through. I guess that my own frustration can block my empathy for you. I apologize, and I will try to be better about that."

"Me too, about not accepting your feelings because I'm so wrapped up in mine. But, I need to know something. Will you accept me as someone who is a fucking mess but is trying to see beyond that rather than looking to who you think I can be? That's a lot of pressure on a little slut like me, and sometimes I can't take it. But I'm trying. I am."

Thoughts of the scene in the restaurant and the subsequent push to maneuver me into forcing things on her filled my mind. But I did not bring any of that up. If I was going to stay in this relationship with the young woman, I needed to accept that her progress would likely always be slowed by setbacks and regressions.

"I will too, Jessi."

"You already do, at least more than me."

"But I can be less, well, parental and more supportive. And I promise to work on that."

Jessi pulled away from the hug, wiped her eyes, and smiled at me. It was a small smile, more on the eyes than the lips, and bespoke of love and gratitude and hope. It both warmed and broke my heart. And at that moment, I think I would have gladly told Jessi to put her clothes on and forget sex that night. But then, her smile changed to a mischievous grin, and she dropped to her knees in front of me and started unbuckling my belt.

"Jessi, we don't have to do this now, if you don't feel up to it."

"Who said I did not feel up to it, Mark?"

"No one, I just..."

"Mark, will you do me a favor, please?"

"Sure, honey. What is it?"

"Shut the fuck up and enjoy yourself. Don't overthink or second guess. If something is not what you want, tell me. Okay?"

"If I shut up, how can I tell you if something is not what I want?"

The blonde stifled a giggle and shook her head, blue eyes radiant. Then, after a deep breath, she ripped open the buttons of my jeans, shoved them and my underwear to my knees, and swallowed my rigid shaft all the way to the root in one swift motion. A low groan, ending in more of a moan, came from my mouth as I pulled off my shirt and tossed it aside. I would have liked to have gotten rid of the pants and underwear as well, but the blonde still had my erection all the way down her throat.

"That feels so fucking incredible," I told her, running my hands through her soft hair.

To my complete amazement, Jessi pushed herself even further, smashing her nose against my pubic hair. She held herself there a few more seconds, then slid back until only about three inches was in her mouth. Her tongue, which had been still, began to wiggle against my sensitive flesh, and I gripped her hair tighter.

After a few seconds of that, my lover started moving up and down the first half of me, slurping, licking, and sucking with ever increasing gusto and speed. In no time, she was jackhammering her own head faster than she had ever done before. At first, it was one of the most incredible feelings I had ever experienced, then it morphed into almost excruciating overstimulation. In desperation, I yanked Jessi's hair, holding her back so that she could not continue, although not far enough back that my penis withdrew from her mouth.

"Not so fast, Jessi," I panted, and she replied with a nod.

I loosened my grip, although I did not relinquish it, and the blonde took that opportunity to take me all the way again and hold it. Then, as we gazed at each other, she pushed her tongue out and began rubbing it on my scrotum. I tightened my just relaxed hold on her hair, but this time out of reflex, I think. And when I felt her try to move her head back, I did not resist, although I still had a firm hold on her soft hair.
To my surprise, at least a little, Jessi pulled all the way off me. I thought about telling her to take me back in her mouth, but at that point, I did not want this to devolve into me taking control. So, I said nothing and was rewarded when she started licking up and down my shaft with considerable enthusiasm.

"You like my tongue on your dick, Mark?"

"Yes."

"Did you like it when I licked your balls with your cock down my throat?"

"Yes."

"Would you like me to suck them now? Your balls, I mean?"

"God yes," I moaned, resisting pushing her toward them.

Jessi grinned, then sucked my scrotum into her mouth. She had done this before, but usually briefly, This time, she unhurriedly alternated between sucking on each testicle, all while her tongue moved against my hairy skin. Part of my mind worried it must be unpleasant for her, but most of it concentrated on the pleasurable sensations from her efforts.

"Did you like that," she asked, eyes eager for approval.

"Fuck yes," I said, which made the blonde shudder and reach a hand toward her groin. However, she rested it on her slender thigh instead.

"Are you aroused, Jessi?" I asked just as she was poised to slip her soft lips around my penis once more. A nod and a whimper were her only responses.

"Do you want to finger yourself while you give me head?"

Another nod, this one more emphatic and accompanied by a soft moan, followed my question.

"You do not need my permission, but you want it, right?"

"Yes," the blonde whispered, her eyes now pleading. "Please."

"Jessi, you may masturbate while you suck my cock."

The young woman shuddered again, then spread her knees apart, revealing her glistening labia before she shoved her hand between her legs.

"Fuck my mouth, Mark. Fuck it hard."

I hesitated, wondering if it was the right time for that, given our earlier conversation. But then Jessi's request that I not overthink things popped into my head. Sure, I could have told her I did not want this, but that was not true. I wanted very much to do as she asked, I was just worried that I should not do so. And that kind of mental trap was exactly what Jessi had wanted me to avoid.

"Don't make your little slut beg, Mark," she whined.

"What if I want to hear you beg," I asked, somewhat surprising myself.

A grin flashed across Jessi's face, only to replaced by a pleading look.

"Please fuck my mouth, Mr. Warner. Ram your cock down my throat while I make myself cum. Use me as your fucking slut. Please."

It was my turn to nod as I grabbed her had in both hands and shoved it toward my erection. The young blonde opened wide, but then I felt resistance. I stopped pushing.

"Is everything okay?" I asked her.

"Fuck yes," she breathed, her gaze intense. "I just wanted to ask you to talk dirty to me while you fuck my face. Call me names and shit. And you don't have to call me 'cunt' unless you want to. Not today."

"Shut up and suck my cock, cunt," I snarled, shoving her head so hard that the head of my penis was halfway engulfed in her mouth before I was done speaking.

Jessi moaned around my cock, then started bobbing up and down, and I realized that she was so worked up she was not going to wait for me to take control. I used her hair to still her movements, then I began to thrust into her mouth with slow, deliberate strokes.

Without any warning, Jessi's free hand clamped on my thigh as the one that had been moving between her legs with almost frantic energy came to a sudden halt. In that same moment, her eyelids fluttered and her face flushed.

"Are you coming, slut?" I asked her, not altering my own movements.

The blonde nodded and whimpered around my shaft, eyes squeezed closed. I thought about stopping until her climax subsided, but I took the opposite tack, increasing both the force and tempo of my thrusts. My lover moaned louder, then her body shook for a few seconds before becoming rigid again.

"Did you come again?"

My lover nodded once more, and that was too much for me, even though only a couple of minutes at the most had passed since I took control of the blowjob.

"I am going to come. Do you want it in your mouth or on your face?"

Jessi did not react for a few heartbeats, then she pushed back against my grip with some force. I immediately let up, and she pulled her lips off me.

"On my face and tits, please," she rasped, her chest rising and falling with each deep breath.

Her words were all I needed to bring about my own climax. I aimed the first two spurts of semen at her pretty face. The first landed on her forehead and the bridge of her nose. The second hit her lips and chin as I moved my aim lower. The third shot onto her neck and the fourth left a streak on her left breast. The rest started dribbling onto the floor before Jessi grabbed my penis and pushed it against her right breast. Not much was left, however, and only a little seeped out onto her pale skin even with her hand working to pump everything out.

"You look beautiful," I told her, enjoying watching the semen on her face start to slide down from where it had landed, including a drop that was starting to form on her chin. "Do you want help, or are you want to let it dry?"

"I've got it," Jessi said, then put on a show of using her fingers to scoop up the mess before licking them clean.

"You missed a spot," I told her, reaching for the drip on her chin. But before I could get to it, it dropped onto her chest and slid between her breasts.

Jessi grinned at me, then grabbed my still semi-rigid shaft and rubbed it between her small, round, perfectly shaped breasts. With a gleam in her bright blue eyes, she licked and sucked my penis clean before using it to clean up the rest of the semen on her chest. This time, she did not quit sucking on my shaft when it was clean. Instead, she continued until I was once again fully erect.

"So, how about you fuck me?" she suggested when she had let me slip from her sexy lips.

"Bed or floor."

"Floor. I've told you before that sluts get it on the floor, nice and hard."

"You have," I agreed. "I'm guessing they get it on their hands and knees quite a bit too."

"Oh yes," she grinned. "Sluts like to be used doggy style."

"Then down on all fours, slut," I laughed, amazed at how at ease I was with our banter. I was not second guessing myself, or worried that I was not feeling as bad as I should have. It felt more playful, like such things did with my other lover, Jessika.

Jessi did as I asked, but then her eyes seem to catch something on the carpet. She looked up at me and grinned again. I did not know what she was looking at, however, until she pointed it out.

"Sum cum dripped there. Too bad it's not on the tile. I'd lick it up for you. You liked that, didn't you? When I did it before?"

"I should not have, but I did," I admitted as I moved behind Jessi and knelt down in preparation to enter her.

The blonde's eyes narrowed and took on a distant look that I knew meant she was thinking about something. Then with a small shrug, she lowered her face to the floor and started licking the carpet. I was not sure what to do, yet I had no doubt the right thing to do was to tell her to stop. But it was over nearly as soon as it began.

"A little more fuzz than I like," Jessi announced, picking something off her tongue with her fingers. "But I got it all up like a good little slut, right Mark?"

"Umm, yes," I replied, not meaning it. The easy, playful feeling I had marveled at seconds before was gone, at least for me. But I could hear it in Jessi's voice still.

"Actually, no, Jessi," I told her, climbing to my feet. "You should not have done that."

The young blonde's shoulders slumped forward for a second, then she turned to a sitting position and looked up at me. Hurt and frustration warred on her pretty features as her gaze held mine longer than even one of her normally overlong stares.

"It was too much," I finally said, sitting down on the floor across from her.

"I've done it before. And not just for you. So it's not like you made me do anything I was not willing to do. Plus, I thought it'd turn you on."

"I was already turned on," I pointed out, working to keep my tone even.

"So you don't like seeing me lick up your cum?"

"Not off the carpet. I mean, the tile is not good either, really, and I should not like it."

"You're overthinking this all, Mark. It was spontaneous and fun for me. I liked the idea of you watching me, and I liked the idea of being willing to do it even on the carpet because I wanted you to see me do it. I probably won't repeat it on carpet, unless you really liked it, because it was kinda nasty. But that's it. I'm fine, and still horny as hell and wanting your cock in me."

"I'm just telling you I did not want this, as you told me to do."

"I also told you not to overthink. You're not just sitting there giving me feedback or direction. You're beating yourself up for letting me do it, and probably for finding it a turn on. You're also worried about me 'cause you think I have a need to do extreme shit I don't want or like just to please you, even when I'm the one who likes all that shit. Oh, and before you say anything, you're also worried I am acting as slutty as possible because I think of myself that way and won't accept that I am more than just warm, wet holes for your cock. Am I close."

"Um, yes," I nodded. "I also feel bad that you did something you thought I would like but I found fault with it."

"Okay, I'm going to try not to get frustrated. Do you agree to do the same?"

"I will try."

"Great. That's all I'm asking. Now, tell me, what was bad enough about this to make you stand up and not fuck me. Did it gross you out?"

"I feel like it did for you. You had to pull lint off your tongue."

"It's not the worst thing I've ever had on my tongue," she shrugged, a smile back on her face. "But if it bothers you, I won't do it again. Okay?"

"It is not about me, Jessi. I am worried..."

"About me and my mental wellbeing, right? But like I just said a few seconds ago, you've seen me do it before. So what was different?"

"I thought we were trying not to do things like that."

"I never said I wouldn't do nasty things, Mark. I said I would keep in mind that you don't need me to do them and that you don't want to make me do them because you are worried about them not being my choices. But that was my choice, to do it for you. You didn't like it, so no reason for me to repeat it. I think you did like it back when I licked it off the tile floor, and I seem to remember getting fucked hard when I licked your cum from a saucer once upon a time, so I don't think it's the cum lapping you don't like. That's why I asked if the carpet thing grossed you out."

"Um, then yes, I guess, to the gross-out factor."

"Fine. I thought it was gross too. I'm glad you didn't like it. But if you had, I would've done it again. Since you didn't, I won't. It's as simple as that. Oh, and it doesn't have shit to do with what you can't keep yourself from worrying about."

"I think it does. You said earlier you would lick anything anywhere I wanted, and I think this was you proving that to me so..."

"I'll be back," the young blonde announced, standing. "I need to brush my teeth."

As I waited for Jessi to return, I started to formulate the rest of what I wanted to say. But something unexpected occurred to me-what if she was right? Did I let the fact that I was bothered by the setting of her act, maybe not the act itself, color my analysis of why it bothered me? Could it be as simple as it bothered me on a physical level and that was my true aversion?"

"That's much, much better," Jessi said, kneeling in front of where I remained sitting. "My mouth is fucking clean now. How about we dirty it up again with your cock?"

"Jessi, I..."

A kiss stopped me, as did her hand on my flaccid penis.

"I'm gonna get you hard, Mark," she told me, her tone matter-of-fact. "And then you're gonna fuck me doggy style. And if any cum drips on the carpet, I'm not licking it up. I know I said I'd lick anything anywhere, but we hit a limit for me. Now, I'd let you push me past that, if you wanted to it, but I am done trying to make you do that. That leads to hell for me, and for you too, I think. And besides, isn't that what you really want from me? To not push you past your limits, and to not make you push me past mine?"

"That is a way of looking at it," I admitted. "But..."

"You know, I'm getting tired of having to interrupt you to keep you from moving this conversation to a place neither of us wants. Can you just let the larger implications go, especially since I am trying so fucking hard to meet you part way?"

I wanted to respond, to argue my point of view, to put forth all my concerns, but my eyes had dropped to Jessi's breasts and realized her nipples were stiff. And that had made me wonder if she was still aroused.

"Spread your legs," I told her, my voice rougher than I had intended it to be.

A fleeting wide-eyed and open-mouthed expression looked back at me, then her wicked grin spread from lips to eyes. She did as I told her, opening her loins to my inspection.

"You look wet," I pointed out before I ran a finger between her labia. "And feel wet."

"I'm sopping wet," she whispered. "All for you, like always. Evidently controlling my frustration gets me almost as moist as being pissed at you. Although at this point, maybe I should consider that it's your presence plus heightened emotion that does it for me, not the nature of my emotional state."

"Maybe," I agreed, continuing to rub her slick folds as I felt myself grin. Her statement had been so much like one of the unexpected insights she used to have in my class that it brought back fond memories, as well as reminded me what was hiding underneath her anxiety and self-esteem issues and why I was not just cutting my losses with the mercurial young woman.

After a few more seconds, Jessi closed her eyes, shuddered, then moved my hand away with firm determination. Without breaking eye contact, she leaned forward and started licking and sucking on my mostly soft penis. In almost no time, I was erect once again, and the blonde pulled off with a loud slurp, turned around, dropped to her hands and knees, and wiggled her bottom and hips at me.

"Now that all that shit's behind us, why don't you get back behind me and take my very ready little pussy?"

"You have a one-track mind, slut," I laughed, slapping her bottom as I repositioned myself.

"I like to," she sighed, looking back over her shoulder at me. "When you let me."

My only response was another smack on her small but nicely rounded derriere followed by my penis ramming into her warmth. My full length slid in easily, proving she had been right in proclaiming that she was very ready.

Jessi grunted, then moaned before saying, "God I love the feel of you inside me. It's worth all the bullshit I have to put up with from you."

"Well, I love the feel of being inside of you. And it is also worth what you put me through. Most days."

"Yeah? Well, its always worth it to me," my young blonde lover moaned, pushing back against my thrusts. "Now be quiet and fuck me. Please."

"Only if you're loud," I countered before leaning over her and kissing her neck and back.

"God yes, Mark! Ram your thick cock in my wet little cunt! Make me cum like a wanton little slut who's only good for fucking. FUCK!" Jessi yelled before she looked back over her shoulder again and smirked. "Think my neighbors heard that?"

"Yes. And I bet the guy next door heard you. The one you fucked," I said, grasping a slender hip in one hand and reaching under her to fondle her breasts with the other, all while slamming into her petite frame.

"Colton? Fuck, he's a terrible lay," Jessi groaned, her head falling between her arms and shaking with each forceful thrust. "Not like you."

"He didn't make you come, right?"

"Not even close."

"Scream it out when you climax, so he can hear what it is like."

"Shit, he's heard it before when you've been here. He thought you were hurting me when I screamed. I straightened his shit out. You should've seen his face."

"You're a mean little bitch, Jessi," I snarled, giving her bottom several hard smacks.

"He's an intrusive, condescending, envious little asshole," she growled. "But I'm sure I was too mean to him, so I should be spanked more."

"Like this?" I asked, landing several more solid whacks to her increasing red butt cheeks.

"Fuck yes! Spank my fucking little ass!" she screamed, and I had no doubt that anyone close by heard her.

After a bit, my hand started stinging. I figured it had to be worse for her, so I rubbed her bottom. Jessi whimpered, I thought from pain, but she showed me how wrong I was seconds later.

"More," she panted. "More. Spank me 'til I come."

I switched to my other hand and returned to spanking her, albeit not as hard, as I hammered into her still sopping wet vagina.

"Do you like feeling my warm, wet pussy around you, Mark?" she asked in a rough voice, struggling for enough breath to speak.

"Yes."

"Is it nice and tight?"

"Yes."

"Say it. Please."

"I love the feel of your tight, wet pussy around me as I violate you with my cock."

"And spanking me? Do you like turning my ass red?"

"God yes. I love the feel of the heat of your skin when I rub it after spanking you."

"I'm so fucking close," the blonde groaned.

"Then come, cunt. Come for me. Come all over my cock."

Jessi whimpered again, then screamed as her body tensed. Unlike earlier when she had been being loud on purpose, I suspected that this time she simply couldn't stop herself as her climax overwhelmed her. At least, that is what I wanted to think.

As she remained rigid beneath me and the spasms inside of her gripped at my shaft, I stopped spanking her and reduced my pace. I was well aware that sometimes Jessi wanted to keep going even if she hurt, but sometimes she needed a rest.

"Don't slow down," she implored me, her voice weak. "Keep pounding me hard. I'll come again."

With renewed energy, I did as my petite lover asked. I felt her body cringe and shiver beneath me as she whimpered. I was afraid she was in pain, but she had asked me to continue.

"Are you okay?" I asked her after a particularly loud whine.

"Fuck yes," she grunted. "Harder. Make it hurt."

"Shit, Jessi," I said, slowing.

"Don't you dare slow down, Mark," she snarled, ramming herself back against me. "I'm so fucking close to coming again. So fucking close. Just make it hurt and I'll come."

But instead of increasing the speed or power of my thrusts, I took a handful of her soft hair and used it to pull her head up and back. At the same time, my other hand tightened around her left breast.

"Oh God! Fuck Yes! Make it hurt! Make it hurt! Fuck, I love you, Mark! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

"Are you coming for me, cunt?" I rasped, sure she was.

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!" she chanted, before her body, including the tightness around my rigid penis, began to vibrate.

Short yelps filled the air as I continued with my pounding rhythm. But within a few seconds, she was so tight around me that not only was it difficult to keep up the pace, it was actually uncomfortable for me to be inside her at all. I tried to pull out, but her spasming vagina clung to my shaft like a vise. Just when I thought I could not stand the sensation any longer, my own climax hit and I blasted inside of her.

***

"I'd make you dinner, but my pussy hurts too much to get up," Jessi murmured, her mouth against the skin of my neck. "Want to order pizza?"

"Sure," I said, stroking her soft, blonde hair. "Let me get my phone."

"Rub my ass more first," me lover countered. "It hurts almost as much as my pussy. And before you ask, no, it was not too much."
"I was not going to ask that," I replied while I rubbed her rounded little bottom, and what I said was only the truth because I had already talked myself out of asking.

"Well, good."

A few minutes went by as I massaged the young woman's bottom. During that time, Jessi moaned and sighed, her mouth still against my neck. The moment was incredibly intimate, at least for me. But even though I thought I should be, I was not enjoying the postcoital closeness. Unexpected but persistent feelings of guilt tormented me as I thought about Jessika, who no doubt believed I was not doing anything with anyone else.

"Okay, you can order the pizza now," Jessi said, sitting up next to me.

"Sure, baby," I replied, climbing to my feet from where I had been lying on the floor near her bed.

A crack from my knee startled me, and I looked down at Jessi just in time to see her stifle a giggle.

"Something funny?" I snapped, my voice harsher than I had intended.

"No, not really funny, I guess," the blonde grinned up at me. "Well, maybe kind of funny."

"And what's that," I pushed, trying but failing to hide my exasperation.

"Nothing now," Jessi shot back, standing up and folding her arms across her chest. "Just when I thought we were past the whole acting parental shit, you start it up again."

"I did not mean to do that. I just did not understand what was so funny."

"It wasn't that funny. Your knee popping just reminded me of our age difference, and I giggled because it was so different from what I thought while you were fucking me."

"And what did you think while I Was fucking you?"

"How you were treating me like we were the same and our ages did not matter, like when you fingered me earlier. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad."

"You did not," I told her even while I examined my own reaction. And after a little thought, I had to admit to myself that Jessi might be right. It was quite possible that I was upset by my knee popping more than her giggling about it.

"Good. I'm gonna lay down now. My cunt is really sore. And do not apologize for that, Mark."

I shut my mouth. Once again, my young lover had anticipated my response and cut it off. So instead of pushing an argument, I grabbed my phone and looked for the number for the closest pizza place that delivered.

***

"Want to come over Friday?" Jessi asked while we ate.

My young lover was sitting at her small table with me, but I could tell she was uncomfortable by the way she continuously shifted in her seat. I had suggested that we stay on the bed to eat, but she had insisted that we sit at the table.

"Um, I cannot," I told her, dropping my gaze from her intense blue eyes, not wanting to see disappointment in them.

"Oh, I see," Jessi replied with a flat tone as she dropped her half-eaten slice of pizza on the plate in front of her. "So, she got to you first."

"I have plans. Let's just leave it there."

"So, Big Tits is going to cook you a nice steak and suck you dry?"

"I do not want to talk about this, Jessi." I sighed, setting down my own lice of pizza. I was no longer hungry.

"I guess it's only fair," Jessi went on, arms now crossed. "I had you for Valentine's Day, so she gets you for Steak and a Blowjob Day. Of course, fair in the sense that you get what you want both days but only one of us does."

"We had a whole weekend for Valentine's day," I pointed out.

"Yeah, I know. I know. I'm just disappointed. I was working on a plan."

"We can do that the following weekend," I suggested, but even as I said it, I realized that Jessika would be able to have sex again by then, and she would probably want to spend some time together that weekend.

"Or maybe for lunch on Friday? You can blow off your office hours."

"I do not think so, Jessi," I shook my head. "Maybe Sunday night, if that works for you."

"I guess, Mark," she sighed, her stare now directed at the table, not at me. "You should probably be going. I'm too sore to fuck any more, and I don't want to suck you off right now."

"Jessi, I am not with you just for sex..."

"I know, Mark," Jessi sighed, eyes back on mine. "Sometimes I just don't know what the fuck to say so I say shit. I just need to be alone right now, and I didn't know how to say that."

"How you just did is fine," I assured her, reaching across the small table to take her hands in mine. "I will go."

"Do you want to take part of the pizza with you? You paid for it."

"No, I am fine," I said, standing. "You keep it."

The blond nodded, gave me a weak smile, and stood. She took a step toward me, then stopped and winced. So, I covered the short distance between us and enveloped her in a hug.

"Do not be too disappointed," I whispered to her, stroking her hair.

"I'll get over it," Jessi shrugged before kissing me.

***

I was not home ten minutes before my phone rang. Seeing that it was Jessika calling, I accepted the call.

"Hey there, gorgeous," I answered, a grin on my face.

For a moment there was only silence, then Jessika said, "What the fuck is going on, Mark?"

"What are you talking about, Jessika?" I asked, although the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach already seemed to know.

"I got an email from Jessi. She wanted to know if we could alter our Friday plans."

"Um, she asked about Friday, and I told her we had plans. That's all I know."

"Yeah, but part of our plan was for you to not do anything until Friday. You fucked her, though. Right?"

"It was a spur of the moment thing. When you and I talked, I did not know it would happen."

"Oh, I know that. You don't lie to me, not with words anyway."

"Jessika, I..."

"Would you rather be with her on Friday?"

"Fuck no," I snapped, surprising myself with my language.

"Um, that's a definite answer," the brunette said after a long pause that showed me she was as surprised by the form of my response as I had been.

"Yes, it is," I pressed. "Look, I went over to Jessi's tonight at her request. I planned just to talk. And we did, but other things happened too. I did not plan them."

A loud sigh came from my phone, so I pushed on.

"But when she asked about Friday, I told her 'no', even when she suggested she and I meet earlier in the day. I had already screwed up on part of my plans with you, and I had no intention of messing up more."

"Yeah, she asked about Friday afternoon, and if I would let her have some time with you. Shit, I almost felt bad when I read that. But then she went on to suggest the alternative that we do it together on Friday night."

"She what?" I asked, not believing what I had heard.

"She suggested that we make your dinner and give you a blowjob together, although she was considerate enough to assure me there would be no sex either between you and her or her and me, and she would leave before you and I did anything more than the blowjob."

"I see," I responded, my mind casting about for something more to say.

"Needless to say, I already replied and turned that down, so don't get any ideas."

"Of course," was all I managed to get out.

"But, I did tell her that Saturday night was all hers."

"Um, you what?" For the second time in the conversation, I could not believe I was hearing Jessika right.

"I told her you were mine on Friday, but she could have Saturday. Like I said, I felt bad that she was emailing me and pleading her case. I wasn't going to go along with the threesome bullshit, but I didn't want to cut her out entirely."

"Um, I see."

"Are you going to say anything other than 'what' and 'I see'?"

"I am just trying to process everything, Jessika," I explained.

"Well, I'll help you. Right now, I'm pissed you fucked her tonight. And I'm not too thrilled about sharing you. But, and this amazes the fuck out of me, I feel sorry for her too, that she had to come to me and ask for time with a guy she has as much claim to as I do. And that shit is all on you, Mark, which makes me even more pissed."

"I understand."

"Yeah, like that's more of a response than 'I see'."

"Okay, then how is this: I'm sorry I put you in that position, Jessika."

"Are you sorry you fucked her?"

"I am sorry I went against our plans, and I felt guilty about that afterward."

"But you aren't sorry about being with her," the brunette said, and I knew it was not a question.

"Jessika, I..."

"It's okay, Mark," she sighed. "I get it. You feel bad about the timing, and that's it. And that's all it should be, I suppose, given our situation."

I stared at my phone, wanting to tell her I would give up Jessi if Jessika admitted to wanting more than friends-with-benefits. But I was not sure that was true. I did not know whether I could give up Jessi, and I did not want to lie to Jessika.

"Look, I never meant to hurt you. If you want to, um, cancel for Friday, I understand completely."

"Is that what you want?"

"No. Not at all."

"Well, fuck it, neither do I, but I know I should."

"So, Friday is still on?"

"Yeah, it is. But if I find out you did anything else with her before then, it is all off. And I mean everything. So, you'll be good, right?"

"Yes, I will."

"Promise?"

"Yes, I promise, Jessika."

"Good. So, I am going to go now. I don't want to get more pissed, and I think I might if we talk more."

"Okay. But before you go, do you mind if I ask how you are feeling? Physically, I mean."

"Sure, why not. I'm feeling a little better."

"I am glad to hear that."

"Okay. Bye," Jessika said right before she ended the call.

I let out a long sigh, then dialed Jessi's number.

"Why did you email Jessika?" I asked my younger lover when she answered her phone.

"I thought it was worth a try. I knew she would never agree to the threesome, or to giving me time on Friday afternoon. But I got Saturday, and boy do I have plans for you."

"But nothing else before then," I told her, hoping she would listen. "I promised Jessika."

"Well, I'd be mad about that if I weren't so well fucked and sore."

"So you are not mad?"

"Oh, I am a little, but I'm channeling all that emotion into my plans for Saturday night."

"That makes me a little nervous," I admitted as my mind churned through the possibilities.

"Oh, it should," Jessi laughed.

TO BE CONTINUED...