Dear Jack,

It was really difficult for me to post this letter on 'Literotica' knowing how publicly humiliated I might be, but I have done it out of my devotion to you.

I know you won't care either; I mean most women get flowers or chocolates when their ex turns up on their doorstep after ten years.

What did I get; you hammering on my door at six in the morning just for me to stand there half asleep as you slapped my face with a handful of cum.

"Just been thinking about your sister!"

How long did it take you to come up with that line?

And no, I don't doubt it was true!

But when you just turned around and walked away again, I just couldn't bare you leaving again, that emptiness I feel, even when I'm with my boyfriend, that hole that only you can fill.

I need you Jack!

You always manage to do this to me; to leave me feeling like a desperate dumb blonde.

In about ten seconds you had made me go from being sleepy...

to shocked at seeing you on my doorstep...

to elation at seeing you again...

to shock and pain as you slapped me across the face...

to anger when you sneered and said "Just been thinking about your sister"...

to disgust and humiliation as I tasted your cum and realized what you meant...

to utter dejection as you walked away.

I mean you left me standing there, my cheek stinging and splattered with your cum; angry, humiliated, degraded, confused and disgusted, and yet at the same time desperate for you to stay in my life. All in a matter of seconds.

No wonder you call me your 'fuck puppet'; you certainly know how to pull all my strings.

And I know how much you'll be enjoying reading this, feeding your ego knowing I'm pouring my heart out publicly to humiliate myself just because you told me to.

The power you have over me Jack, I'm yours if you want me, heart and soul!

I ran after you because I need you, Jack. Surely my dropping to my knees and begging you not to go again meant something? Even after being slapped with your cum!

I'm truly sorry for getting your cum on your jeans as I begged you to stay, but it was only because I need you so desperately.

Surely you can't have that many women who you can slap cum in their face after not seeing them for ten years and then have them kneeling and begging in their driveway for you to stay, just to be spanked for getting cum on your jeans?

Oh, Jack, surely my devotion to you means something?

And as you asked; here's my description of my spanking:

I was bewildered when you grabbed my hair and yanked my head from your thigh and pointed at the smear of cum I'd left on your jeans. I was so intent on making you stay I hadn't realized what I had done.

I think the words you used were 'dumb cunt' as you dragged me back into my house?

It all happened so fast: One minute I was kneeling on my driveway, the next I was being pulled by my hair into my house and the next you had me dangling over your knee with my bare legs and ass exposed.

I had never been spanked before and fifty one seems a strange age to receive my first spanking. At first I was embarrassed at being so exposed to you and in such an undignified position. I can remember trying to squirm my way off your knees so I could cover myself until the shock of your hand slamming into my naked buttock made me realize what was happening.

My God; you hit my buttock so hard and fast, I was screaming from the shock as much as the pain. I don't know how long you spanked me for? it can't have been more than a few minutes?

My buttocks were burning and every slap made the sting more intense until I was so overwhelmed by the agony that I was crying and screaming. The intensity of the pain completely overrode any concerns I had about my dignity and when you finally stopped I just lay there, exposed to you, sobbing and panting from the exertion.

And feeling so owned, Jack; by you. I'd never felt so 'taken', so used and, yes; so aroused.

Again, you had me overwhelmed and bewildered. I mean I'm a middle-aged mom and career woman; what you had done wasn't my average morning!

I just lay there feeling my buttocks throbbing with pain, trying to control my sobbing. I know it sounds silly, but I don't think at that point I was even really registering what had happened or even being conscious of you and your power over me.

Then, as I lay quivering on your lap, I felt your rough, powerful hand between my thighs and a finger push into me.

And this is where I just can't ignore your control over me or my subjugation to you: I was so aroused and I knew you could tell by how wet I was. I remember blushing from the shame and humiliation at the same time as I succumbed to your control over me and shamelessly bucked my hips against your hand. You know I don't behave like that normally, I'm not a slut. I wouldn't even behave like that in the intimacy of my bedroom with my boyfriend.

I guess the reality is that I am a slut for you!

I don't know how you have this power over me, only that you so definitely do. I was so humiliated desperately trying to reach an orgasm on your hand and it is just as humiliating now, writing about it and potentially exposing myself as your 'fuck puppet'.

But after such a severe spanking to feel your hand touching me felt so intimate, like I belonged to you. It felt almost tender after the pain you had inflicted. I fell in love with you all lover again.

As if it wasn't degrading enough to be lying there trying to orgasm after being spanked and with your cum still on my face, you just pushed me off your knee so that I fell to the floor, my dressing gown open and my naked, sweating body sprawled before you. I can remember looking up at you shocked and then feeling embarrassed when I saw you staring at my naked body. I felt so undignified sprawling at your feet and I was terrified you wouldn't find me attractive.

I was still incredibly aroused and you looked so powerful and handsome, staring down at me with contempt. I thought you would like seeing the power you had to make me so aroused so I plucked up the courage to touch myself in front of you.

The sneer you gave me was mortifying and made me realize just how much you really do own and control me. It made me want to be your 'fuck puppet', to degrade and humiliate myself for you.

When you spat on me as I touched myself, your contempt for me just made me even more aroused and then when you simply stood up and walked away, leaving me lying on my floor frantically stroking myself with my sore buttocks and wearing your cum and spit, I knew I was yours to own and destroy.

I so desperately wanted to orgasm, but I wanted it to be for you and you simply didn't care. I understand that now; my pleasure is irrelevant to you. I'm just a set of holes for you to use and I really do want to be a good 'fuck puppet' for you.

You left me stroking myself and I came seconds after you left and then I cried. I cried because you were gone, because of the humiliation, because of the pain in my buttocks and because I realized I had no way of contacting you.

My God, how you can subjugate me in a matter of minutes; it terrifies me how intensely you made me feel after ten years and in less than ten minutes.

Please Jack, I beg you, don't have walked back into my life for a flash and then be gone again! I need you, I yearn for you.

I was miserable all day, sitting at work with my bruised buttocks reminding me that my disgrace that morning was all too real. I realized that the horrible truth was that I didn't mind the humiliation, the degradation or the pain, in fact you had just shown me that I needed it.

But I hate the thought that you've gone again and that was what made me so miserable.

So you can imagine how happy it made me when I got home from work to find your note;

'Write up what happened this morning. Publish it on 'literotica'. Impress me and I might let you ruin yourself for me. Make sure everyone knows why you are doing this. Include being spanked.'

Thank you, Jack, from the bottom of my heart for this opportunity to earn a place as your 'fuck puppet'. I will do anything for you Jack; leave my boyfriend, be your 'fuck puppet', anything that I can do to please you, I will.

So, I've done it Jack. I have published this letter to you on 'Literotica'. I beg you not to ignore me, to let me be your 'fuck puppet'

(You might be surprised, but I already had an account. Please don't laugh if you read my other submissions; I think I was just working through my feelings from getting divorced. And yes, my username is the humiliating pet name you had for me; surely that shows how devoted I have been to you over the years?)

I'm really anxious that this letter might not get published, but then I'm anxious of revealing my humiliation so publicly. When you wrote that you 'might let me ruin myself for you', I think I want to do that for you. It won't be easy. I mean I'm a Mom and I've got a career.

To agree to ruining myself in subjugation to you is going to be so difficult, but it is what I want and I promise I will try.

At the moment I am too shy to post a picture with my begging letter but I do understand that I will have to forego any pretence of anonymity if I'm to ruin myself for you. I promise I'll try to do better if you actually do get in touch and let me be your fuck puppet.

I hope that's okay and if you do decide I am worthy of being ruined by you, I promise I will try and get past my fears and reticence to destroy my reputation for you.

I really, really do understand how ruining myself is honoring you. Nothing else is really enough, but please Jack, if you do accept me as a 'fuck puppet' please give me time to adjust.

It's not going to be easy over riding fifty plus years of being a feminist, a Mom and a successful career woman to become a publicly humiliated 'fuck puppet', but it is truly what I want.

For you I will betray my gender, feminism, my family and myself. I want you to make me an example of what a true 'fuck puppet' should be. I am offering you this chance to ruin me, knowing full well that once you have you will just dump me and leave me disgraced and humiliated; as you should.

I stood in front of my mirror tonight, dressed in my salesperson suit. I saw a respectable middle-aged divorcee, an empowered feminist and respected Mother. All of this I offer to you to destroy and it makes me so aroused that you have given me this opportunity. The feel of my bruised buttocks under my suit makes me so aroused at how much of a slut you made of me this morning.

Please Jack, I am begging you; make me your 'fuck puppet' and ruin me. I want to be degraded and humiliated in your name. Please make it happen. By the time you cast me aside make sure that nobody can ever take me seriously again.

I wrote this letter the moment I read your note. I can't bare not hearing from you. I hope it is good enough for you. You are my everything.

Thank you for slapping me with your cum...

Thank you for spanking me...

Thank you for spitting on me...

And thank you for this opportunity to beg you to ruin all that I am. I am going to bed to touch myself thinking of you and your brief but all consuming visit this morning.

Yours with absolute devotion,

Anal Ally