You're evil. I don't know what it is that has made you do this to me, but ever since we first met you have made it your life mission to bully me.

I don't even know you very well, you're just a complete psycho that ruins everything I have. You take my money, you make me do extra work for you, you've beaten me up, given me wedgies, made fun of me. Plus you get away with it, every, single, time.

All the girls love you. You're so handsome. I'm overwhelmingly jealous. How can they be interested in someone who's as mean as you?

Everyday you send me home either limping, or with a black eye, or simply just crying my eyes out. This has to end soon.

My mum always asks me whats going on. Just I can never say to her. I'm too scared that you'll do something worse if I rat on you. You might even do something to her, and I'd never live that down.

I love my mum with all my heart. She's beautiful, sophisticated, classy. She's innocent and she's lovely. Never hurt a soul unless they endanger her family.

Sadly for me, despite my best efforts to keep her away from you, she found you. She still doesn't know that you bully me, or that you even know me. She just knows that she found your tinder profile and couldn't help herself from swiping up to send you a super-like.

Yeah, my mum's on Tinder. I'm not happy about it at all, but it has been a few years since Dad passed and I can't do anything about it if she wants to find love again. It was bad enough her telling me that she's dating again.

So you matched with Louise Kiss. 34. Proud mother of two, loves going out with the ladies but wants to find someone to spend nights in with. ;)