The hangar was filled with noise. Hundreds of faceless troops were conversing with each other. Joking and laughing, making rude gestures with their pliable blank mannequin like bodies. At the end of the hangar, lights came up upon a stage with a single microphone. Behind the microphone, a brilliant purple flag swayed, the insignia of the planet Bredon flashing all who saw. To the left of the troops a general took the stage. His unmarked body started to sprout clothes that resembled the United States Army green. A helmet popped onto his head as his face molded into that of earth actor George C. Scott.

“Troops!” his voice rang across the crowd. “As you know, we have been waiting patiently for the earthlings to make contact with us!” The crowd murmured. “Unfortunately since we provided them with what they call fire, and thus warmth so that they could focus on breeding and evolving, they keep holding themselves back!” booing came from the crowd. The general gestured for them to calm down. “Just when we think they have made advancements, we find recordings of their mating rituals where the male has a sorry excuse for genitalia! When they finally have peace, they find some other stupid reason to have another war, killing those gifted with large appendages.” He shook his head. Clearing his throat, he continued. “That is why we will be sending you all down to Earth!” Cheers rang from the crowd, the sound resonating off the curved walls. The general pulled his hand up, ceasing the noise.

“For your assignments, it will be based up on what humans call ‘gender’” he emphasized the earthlings’ air quotes “The male troops will have the important job of initial breeding.” The males whooped, then fell silent. “I want to make clear that I want happy breeders, but we can’t let the humans know of our existence.” The generals’ voice became stern, “If they do not wish to join us, then make sure they cannot breed with the rest of their population. Still, there’s nothing wrong with having a little fun with the punishment.” He cleared his throat and continued. “Females on the other hand will be spreading a new, subtle virus. I want you to hunt down the inferior genes of the human race and have sex with them. This will infect them with a sterilizing virus.” He eyed the lower number of female troops before continuing. “This way, they cannot continue as we do our work.” At this time, he pulled out a small ray gun device. “This is your standard issue sex pistol. It has the capabilities to change the human anatomy and instill into them certain fetishes if they do not wish to be a part of their evolutionary future. Only use this if your own natural pheromones do not entice the human enough.” The general marched down to the center of the stage and holstered the weapon. He stood at attention and saluted his troops, as they saluted back, his chest puffed out. “To Earth! Breed on!”