EROTIC DVD FILM REVIEWS 2016 edition

Hi all you erotic film lovers.

This is NOT a review of hard core porn films and videos. It is review of a collection of full length feature films that concern sexual or erotic themes that have been on general release or made for TV, all of which are now available on DVD. These films are suitable for adults over the age of 18 and not minors.

All of these films have received general release certification (in some cases R or 18) and in accordance with international law none depict or feature any sexual activity involving minors (i.e. children under the age of 18). None of these films / movies transgress the US and UK censorship laws.

All of these films are available to rent and / or purchase in the US and the UK from the main global movie / film retailers. It is also possible to stream some of these films from the best known online global movie streaming services in the US and the UK although not the more extreme ones.

It occurred to me that a list of films of a sexual nature might be of special interest to readers in the Literotica community. Some of the films in this collection would be described as 'Soft Porn'. I do not claim this list to be in any way exhaustive. It takes many years to watch the vast numbers of films that are out there, but these are the ones I have watched in these genres in recent years and that I can tell you about.

It is my opinion that the problem with most porn videos is that usually you know nothing about the characters concerned, as there is no character development or plot. So they often become no more than meaningless and boring 'Insert tab A in Slot B' sexual gymnastics. For a film to be titillating, interesting and erotic there needs to be some element of character development, some story, perhaps some romance, some passion and some element of seduction.

Some of the films listed do indeed contain graphic and explicit sexual activities. However this is a collection of films that concern one or more of the following themes in no particular order:

Romance, Seduction, Lesbian relationships, Gay relationships, Affairs, Unfaithfulness, Love triangles, Prostitution, Erotic thrillers, Nudity, Loving relationships, Coming of age, Sexual awakening, Attraction, Sadism, Torture, Abuse, Erotic horror, Sex and incest.

Some of the films in this collection are there because they are just such great portrayals of the subtlety of romance and attraction rather than being erotic in the sense of explicit sexual activity. So please do not criticise the inclusion of films such as 'One Day' on the basis that they are not very erotic in the sense of containing much explicit sex. Films like that are in this collection because they offer such a credible window to view close up the subtleties and challenges of attraction and love between two people.

Many of the most explicit, or extreme full length general release sex movies are foreign with sub-titles and the most prolific of these are French so you will find a disproportionate number of these in this collection.

My interest in films has confirmed that when it comes to films 'One man's meat is another's poison'. There are no films where everyone agrees that it is brilliant or awful. Everyone has different tastes. And so it is with my ratings. You may find that usually you agree with my rating, or you may find that often you disagree. And therein is the fun and interest. I love to hear other's views and where you disagree that is just as interesting and welcome. It is fun to discuss and debate these things. You will see a table below which defines what my film ratings mean . I will warn you that I mark tough. Often when rating a film if someone likes a film they will automatically just give it a 10, in other words it's all or nothing, but I do not do this. Instead I make careful use of the full range of scores and generally I would consider any film with a score of 4 or above watchable and enjoyable to some extent. So where I have given a film a score between 4 and 7 for example then I liked it and thought it watchable but it is just not a particularly great film; it might just be reasonable, average, good or very good respectably. I would recommend that you briefly familiarise yourself with the definitions of the ratings which follow before referring to the reviews.

If you limit yourself to just great films or those with Oscar nominations or to those which are well known and widely popular then you can miss a lot of perfectly good watchable enjoyable movies. I believe you need to be open minded and sometimes you will discover a hidden gem, or one that just appeals to you personally and be surprised and this is particularly true for those who like films with a sexual content. It is always satisfying to discover an unknown and underrated film. In any case if you have a taste for films with erotic or sexual themes there are simply just not enough of them made to be too choosy. By retaining films with scores of 1 to 3, this will help you avoid some of the dogs and turkeys, or give you the chance to form your own opinion if you still want to give them a go,

My favourite genre is the erotic thrillers (especially from the 1990s) and so you will find a disproportionate number of these . You know the sort where usually a man is under the spell of an attractive seductive intelligent man eater and cannot help but put his life on the line and take ridiculous risks to comply with the wishes and demands of the woman who is controlling and using him. He is totally driven by lust and desire and cannot see that he is being manipulated and conned in some scam or caper that will usually destroy his career / marriage / life.

It is surprising how many films have the same name. The same names are used frequently even within a couple of years. Therefore to identify a film you have to also look at the year.

Good watching- Andy

 

Definitions of Ratings

Remember these ratings are for how good the film is, and NOT about how much explicit or graphic sex it contains.

Rating Quality of Film

1 A very poor , awful film with no merit that is probably unwatchable through to the end.

2 A poor just about watchable film that is disappointing and let down by some fundamental weaknesses in plot, and / or credibility, . You may not have made it through to the end.

3 A dull mediocre watchable film with some moments of interest or quality , good in parts, but overall only just so so. You may not have made it through to the end.

4 Watchable, reasonable, adequate, but slightly disappointing film probably let down by low budget feel, predictability, and not particularly memorable or enjoyable.

5 OK watchable average film , enjoyable but let down by some aspects of casting, script, or plot.

6 A good watchable film that is definitely OK but could have been better in places.

7 A very good watchable and enjoyable film.

8 A great film. May be very funny or very moving, or both , or a thriller which holds your interest and with a great plot.

9 A superb and excellent film of great merit and depth, with an excellent cast and script. A film that you would be keen and eager to watch again the following day.

10 A rare exceptional , brilliant and outstanding film of depth, meaning, superb casting, outstanding acting, and credible script. A film that touches your soul, and probably makes you laugh and cry. A film that stays with you in your immediate memory.

 

THE FILM REVIEWS

120 DAYS OF SODOM OR SALO

1975 Soft Porn WWII Sex Drama. A bizarre, highly controversial, and shocking film set in Italy in 1944 towards the end of the war about Italian fascist dignitaries who organised a private brothel of handpicked gorgeous young male and female sex slaves. Every kind of depravity and masochism and torture is depicted. Italian film with sub-titles. It is no wonder this film was banned and reviled around the world. The film is explicit and extreme and massively distasteful so you will need a strong stomach to tackle this one. But sadly it is just disgusting rather than erotic . It starts Ok but as it ploughs on it becomes boring and you will find yourself reaching for the fast forward. 4/10

ADORED (THE)

2012 Lesbian themed little known thriller. An innocent depressed married struggling model goes to stay with a famous photographer to try to rejuvenate her career, in a remote house in North Wales. The photographer is not all that she seems and forms a dangerous obsession for her house guest. She forces her lesbian desires onto her guest but this is the least of her worries as the photographer starts to show her true psychotic colours. A mediocre quality thriller that is just about watchable. Reasonably well acted by the two female leads. 4/10

AGE OF CONSENT

1968 Drama. A dated period piece from the 1960s which would have been daring, modern, and progressive in its day. Based on true events an artist seeks solitary refuge on a remote Australian island and starts painting a local girl, Cora played by a very young Helen Mirren. Cora is hoping to save enough money to escape the island and who can blame her so is happy to up her wages by posing and swimming naked for the artist. The film meanders in a 1960s sort of way wondering what it is trying to be between a touching romantic drama, a daring 1960s excursion into progressive nudity, and a Carry On Camping type excruciating comedy. Later remade as Sirens which is a much better film. Don't Bother. 3/10

ALL OVER ME

(1997) Drama. Coming of age teenage drama about two girls in a first lesbian relationship but discovering other partners. Sensitively handled with no gratuitous explicit sex. Has all the bleakness of a typical Mike Leigh film set in the USA. Has a low budget feel but overall it is a good film , and much better than the typical offering in this genre. It has a credible feel and I do not agree with other reviews that it is predictable. Has an awesome but esoteric score. 6/10

ARTIST AND THE MODEL (THE)

2012 Drama. French film with sub -titles and shot in black and white? Why-do they think it makes a pseudo arty film more high-brow? Set during the Nazi occupation towards the end of the second world war in a remote quiet rural location. A beautiful young girl escaping from Spain is sheltered by an elderly couple. The deal is that the girl works as a nude model for the ageing male artist who is inspired to start working again by the young girl in his home. An unlikely friendship ensues. It is a sensitive sweet film but is a typical French film being very slow with very little happening.6/10

ATOMISED

2006 Erotic tragic psycho drama German with sub titles . Bizarre story of 2 brothers exploring eroticism. One of the brothers is an introverted asexual and frustrates the love of his life, and the other is a totally selfish individual incapable of love but is a slave to his sexual fantasies. This gives the producer an excuse to indulge in his own sexual fantasies at frequent intervals! This is a very heavy highly alternative film that would not appeal to most people. The two brothers are both completely messed up by dysfunctional parents who abandoned them. Tragedy and disaster are never far away for both of them except that the introvert does invent genetic coding on the side! The female partner of the other selfish brother , with whom he participates in sex orgies, becomes crippled , goes mad , and commits suicide! 6/10

BASIC INSTINCT

1992 erotic thriller. I have watched this many times over the years and gave it another run out in 2012. In my opinion it sets the Gold standard for erotic thrillers and even after 20 years is not the slightest bit dated. The acting, script, and music are superb and yes I know the plot is implausible but I don't care and somehow they get away with it because of the mesmerizing relationship and sexual tension between Douglas, the detective and Sharon Stone, the suspect. It is a long film but you don't want it to end, and after all that, at the end you will still not be sure who the killer was! 9/10

BASIC INSTINCT 2

2006 Erotic thriller. Basic Instinct was a very good erotic thriller and a tough act to follow but this sequel unusually is worthy. It really is nearly as good as the original. Stone is even better in this and the lead who replaces Douglas playing opposite Stone does a good job I think and is credible as the psychiatrist who meets his match with the Stone character. It is a good erotic thriller that holds its own in its own right. They switch the sequel from Los Angeles to London to freshen it up which seems to work. 8/10

BEAT

2000 erotic drama. Definitely better than the average rating suggests. An intimate examination of homosexual and heterosexual relationships within a close group of 4 male and 1 female writers in 1944 New York. Irritation and boredom prevail within the group. The viewer gets drawn into the frustration of the unfulfilled relationships and shares the hopelessness as nobody seems to get what they want. Courteney Love is superb in this film and gives the film its quality and high rating as the hub of the group and the focus of the intrigue and desire. 7/10

BEDROOM (THE)

1992 Japanese soft porn with sub-titles. Bizarre story of a young wife who visits a fetish house where she takes drugs which send her to sleep, during which she receives the attention of clients who use and abuse her. There are other sub plots but most of the time the white sub titles are against a background of white bed sheets! Weird and very explicit. Rubbish. 2/10

BEL AMI

2011 Period drama. Kristin Scott Thomas. Period drama set in high society Paris in the 1890s. How can other reviewers say that this has no story? It is a much better film than many other reviews give it credit for. It is a modern attempt at the Dangerous Liasons theme. Young man breaks out of poverty and breaks into high society and political circles through his good looks and powers of seduction. At first he is found out to be out of his depth, empty and vacuous but increasingly he becomes ruthless and brutal and acquires great wealth through his women and in the end puts an advantageous and cynical marriage above the mistress who he really loves and loves him. This film has lots of story so do not let others put you off if this theme sounds like your cup of tea. The film is lavish and stylish in its recreation of the period. I liked it. 7/10

BETTER THAN CHOCOLATE

1999 RomCom. Pleasant enough innocuous light lesbian romantic comedy. Well acted and touching. Young teenage lovers struggle to conceal their sexuality when the newly divorced mother of one of them comes to stay. Other interweaved relationships involving various other characters combine to produce a watchable enjoyable average film with a happy ending. 5/10

BETWEEN YOUR LEGS

1999 Soft porn drama. Don't worry this is not the sexothon that it sounds like. Spanish film with sub titles. It is about two people who are attending a clinic for sex addicts but beyond that I cannot tell you much. I found it impossible to follow what was going on as it weaves a lot of fictional sub plots throughout so it is one of those films where you never know what is really happening and what is being imagined. I only lasted 30 minutes and found it boring and a waste of time. Don't bother with this one. 3/10

BIG EASY (THE)

1987 Erotic thriller. Dennis Quaid is excellent in this as a very sure of himself womanising funny sexy maverick homicide inspector character. A good erotic thriller. The Quaid character himself becomes the subject of an investigation into police corruption by an attractive woman from the DA's office, with whom he has a steamy affair. Done in typical 1980s style and set in New Orleans. Watchable and enjoyable. 7/10

BITTER MOON

1992 erotic drama. A good watchable film about a couple who are united by physical attraction but after this fades their relationship becomes destructive and damages another couple. This film is an acquired taste and improves on second watching. Sexually charged and dark and sad at the same time. There is a big surprise awaiting you at the ending and is worth watching for this. Hugh Grant is very young in this and a bit feeble to be honest and a bit of a weak link in the cast. 7/10

BLACK BOOK (THE)

2006 Beautiful Jewish girl who worked for the Dutch resistance at the end of WW2 and has a sexual relationship with Captain in the SS in order to infiltrate the Nazis. Dutch film with sub-titles. The depressing thing is that in transpires that at least 3 of the other resistance fighters turn out to be Nazi collaborators who are also betraying the Jews for their own profit. However a great film with a great performance by the female lead. The plot can be a little hard to follow in the final scenes due to confusion between the resistance characters. 8/10

BLACK SWAN

2010 Psychological thriller based on New York ballet. Young woman finding her sexuality, and confidence and confronting competition and shaking off her controlling mother. Explicit sex and violence. Would not be everybody's' cup of tea. A bold and unusual film -in the Carrie mould and class. I liked it. 7/10

BLOOD SIMPLE

19831983 Coen brothers first film-erotic thriller, gritty. Dark and bloody but with some humour. 6/10

BLOOMINGTON

2011 Drama. Routine coming of age lesbian drama about a former child star actress who goes to college to try to forge an alternative path to acting. She forms a relationship with her women-eating female college professor but this latter character seriously lacks credibility and further the film completely ignores all the obvious issues of the taboos of student teacher relationships. Things go lovey- dovey until the younger girl is lured back into acting by her agent and this puts a strain on the relationship. Low budget made for TV movie feel with a weak story and an even weaker ending. An unremarkable superficial highly sanitized mediocre film.3/10

BLUE IS THE WARMEST COLOUR

2013Lesbian Romantic Drama. French film with sub-titles and winner of Cannes Festival 2013. A coming of age story about a young girl who is unhappy with her relationship with a boy at school and meets an older girl with whom she falls in love and lives with. The film covers a long period and attempts to show how the relationship develops between the girls and analyses the stresses and strains of such a relationship. It is a serious, sensitive and sensuous movie and you can see why it won an award. The long and graphic physical encounters may be too much for some peoples taste, and also the film as a whole is unnecessarily long at three hours. Nevertheless if you have the time and the interest then it is a good, watchable touching film. 6/10

BLUE LAGOON

1980 Two children are ship wrecked on a desert Island and as they grow up and become young adults they become sexually awakened and have a child. Brooke Shields. Considered soft porn at the time. 1980 . Terrible. 3/10

BODY HEAT

1981 Erotic thriller. Kathleen Turner. Personally I like it. It has aged well and remains a tense steamy erotic thriller full of suspense. It is uncomfortable to watch but you cannot look away and you do not know who to believe or trust. I think this film sets the standard for the genre. 8/10

BODY OF EVIDENCE

1992 erotic thriller. Madonna. You get what it says on the tin with this movie. It is a bread and butter formulaic early 1990s erotic thriller. But if you like this genre you should not exclude this one. It is completely watchable, and Madonna does her best to act but looks amazing whilst she is doing it-acting that is! Has a good twist at the end. It seems from the other reviews that you either love it or hate it. But I don't see it that way. Not the best or worst film ever made but just a watchable OK movie. 6/10
BOOGIE NIGHTS

1987 Drama set in Los Angeles this story covers the lives of a dozen or so misfits and inadequates working in the porn industry during a seven year period commencing 1977. In particular its central character is a young man who rises from nowhere to be a star of the film industry. In the early years the team as a whole are hugely successful and make a lot of money but in the 1980s the rot sets in and things degenerate primarily due to their cocaine habits. Gradually the gang take to stealing drugs on the side. Contains some nudity and violence. Usually films on this subject are of the soft porn variety , and rubbish, but this one is of a higher quality with a superior script and acting. It is hard to make a film about the porn industry that is not soft porn itself but they achieved it with this film. Watchable and holds your interest for the 150 minutes duration.8/10

BOUND

1996Sexy erotic thriller about a mobster's girl who wants out. She sets up an ingenious con with her lesbian lover to steal $2M from the mob. It is a cleverly spun web of intrigue. Violent and scary. A con with many twists. Some explicit girl on girl action. Do not watch this if you are not sure you can handle it. 8/10

BOYS DON'T CRY.

1999 Lesbian romantic drama tragedy. A sad, touching shocking film based on true events. Brandon Teena is a young guy trapped in a girl's body in Nebraska. Brandon dresses and acts as a guy and joins a small gang of other wild youngsters and falls in love with one of the girls, (Lana). For a while life is good and fun and the relationship between Lana and Brandon blossoms. Inevitably Brandon's secret eventually comes out and the friends turn against him although Lana stays loyal. Be warned, the story ends brutally, tragically and violently. Hilary Swank played Brandon and won the best actress Oscar for her performance. 8/10

BREATH 2007 Romantic Drama. Korean film with sub-titles. Unusual and bizarre story about a restless and lonely middle class housewife who decides to start to visit a convicted murderer on death row in prison. Bizarrely she is granted greater and greater access to the convict and relations gradually become increasingly intimate under the watchful eyes of the prison guards! It all seems a highly implausible plot and the acting is poor. Was it based on real events? Weird and would not be most people's taste. 2/10

BROWN BUNNY (THE)

2004 Soft porn Romantic drama. I'll sit through most films but this one defeated me. I lasted 40 minutes before I could stand no more. Pretentious arty farty photographic account of a troubled young man driving across the USA in a van grieving for the lost love of his life. Lots of lengthy shots of all kinds of roads at day and night. Almost no dialogue and nothing happens. Boring and tedious. The film does liven up in the last 3 minutes apparently but only people with no life would have made it that far! Do not be tempted. 2/10

BUTTERFLY KISS

1995Macabre thriller about cold blooded serial killer (lesbian) who seduces an innocent girl into falling in love with her, and together they travel around like Thelma and Louise until it comes to an inevitable and tragic end. 4/10

CALIGULA

1979Drama about the life of a young deranged Roman emperor. I watched the uncut version which lasts about 2 weeks. This is a Marmite movie and it gets ratings from 1 to 10 with people equally divided. It has to be the most sexually explicit movie ever made and features nudity , gruesome punishments ,and graphic sex from start to finish. It is also the most explicit and complete portrayal of the debauchery and decadence of the Roman Empire that you are likely to see. You have been warned. But it remains an iconic film that film buffs need to see for completeness It is a big set extravaganza by the director Tinto Brass. On the odd occasion when the actors are not completely naked the costumes are good. It has an all star cast and the acting and script are not bad. You need to be extremely broad minded and have a strong stomach to tackle this one so be warned. It is not just a not so soft porn film in that it does have a watchable story and reasonable plot, with some character development. Outrageous! 6/10

CAMOMILE LAWN (THE) DISC 1 (EPISODES 1-4)

1992 Channel 4 TV drama. A watchable TV series drama about an extended family of parents, aunts, uncles and cousins at the beginning of the second world war set in Cornwall and London. The story focuses on the colourful love lives and relationships of the relatives seemingly including with each other against the back drop of escalating danger and the struggle with the enemy. Based on a book the production was considered quite racy in 1992 containing a lot of nudity. In the second half the acting , script, and direction remained somewhat stylised and stilted and this has reduced the score. Great cast though. Episodes 3 & 4 do not quite live up to the promise of the first half and in the end the overall result is just average. Episode 4 is set in the present 40 years later in 1983. 5/10

CAROL

2015Lesbian romantic drama. Cate Blanchett stars in this drama supported by Rooney Mara who plays the teenage object of the Blanchett character's desires. I was really looking forward to this film after its rave reviews but in my opinion it is highly overrated. Yes it is smouldering, contemplative, brooding, and moody but it is just so slow. And the biggest problem for me is that the meeting between the two is just not convincing. The 'falling in love at first sight' is just not sold to the viewer. There is no intoxicating exchange of conversation or laughter and you will wonder what the worldly wise mature Blanchett character sees in the young thing. Blanchett is a superb as ever but overall I found it underwhelming. 6/10

CASUALTIES OF WAR

1989Vietnam war film. Extremely shocking story based on real events in which a squadron of five kidnap an innocent young Vietnamese girl to rape her and eventually murder her when she looks like she may lead to them being spotted by the enemy. Sean Penn gives an excellent performance as the crazy, maverick ring leader Sergeant and Michael J Fox is equally impressive as the voice of good and morality in the group who unsuccessfully tries to prevent the evil activities. The film depicts the struggle that the Fox character had to get anyone in authority to investigate and prosecute the rest of the group on his testimony. A brutal disturbing , graphic , realistic and unpleasant movie that depicts the horror of war . 8/10

CAT CHASER

1990 Thriller. American war veteran (Dominican Republic) begins a steamy affair with an old flame who is now married to a nasty and corrupt Dominican general . This film is now dated but watchable although only adequate at best. The plot is hard to follow in places and the film feels like an adapted stage play with a lot of rapid fire conversation that is important to the plot. However it gets more straight forward as you get deep into the film. But is it worth the effort? Probably not. Some nudity and a lot of violence some of which is pretty graphic and a high body count by the time you reach the end. 4/10

CEMENT GARDEN (THE)

1992Would not be most people's cup of tea. Incestuous relationship develops between eldest brother and sister in family of 4 children after both parents die separately in close succession. Watchable but weird. 5/10

CHINA MOON

1994 erotic thriller. Good romantic love triangle thriller. I am a fan of erotic thrillers especially those produced in the 1980s and this one is typical of the genre and does not disappoint. 7/10

CHLOE

2009 Erotic thriller about wife who tests her husband who she suspects of philandering with a paid prostitute who she ends up with sleeping with herself. Can't say that is not different! Stars Liam Neeson. Watchable. 6/10

CIRCUMSTANCE

2012Youth and lesbian drama. A serious, controversial, brave, and rare film about youth rebellious and underground culture in Iran. Not content with just portraying Iranian youth living out their Western culture fantasies (clothes, alcohol, sex and music etc) and enduring brutal raids by the 'Morality Police', the film sympathetically majors on a lesbian relationship, and the ways in which women are controlled and oppressed by authoritarian puritanical men. The film also portrays a controversial view of the legacy of the revolution by the young . So lots of taboo in this which is why the film could only actually have been made outside of Iran. A rare Iranian film with sub-titles in which it is not always that easy to tell who is who . In the end though a good film, with a virtually unique theme , well acted but which is sad and depressing. 6/10

CLAIRE OF THE MOON

1992 Lesbian romantic drama. A straight author shares a cabin with a gay psychiatrist at a writers retreat in the US. The film is directed like a stage play with long sequences of stilted dialogue between all the other guests at the retreat (who are all women). The film tries to elevate itself with pseudo intellectual discussion about the differences between men and women , and also between gay and straight women. But the main theme is the simmering relationship between the two women in the shared cabin which finally erupts at the end of the film. The acting is so poor and the script so false, and the characters such stereotypes that it is borders on being at a farce. Poor.2/10

CLOSE MY EYES

1991 Family relationships drama. Early Clive Owen, Alan Rickman, Story of incestuous love affair between brother and sister. Actually it is very well acted and a good film. 7/10

COLOUR OF NIGHT

1994 Bruce Willis. Erotic thriller mystery in the Hitchcock style. Could also be an Agatha Christie who dunnit. Much nudity and soft porn sex. The plot is extremely hard to swallow but if you can ignore that the film does have some merit being packed with suspense, action, and big twists and well flesh. I can see that it is in many ways an awful film but I have to admit I found it watchable, and did get to the end and found it reasonably enjoyable. I've seen a lot worse. 6/10

COMFORT OF STRANGERS (THE)

1990 Erotic thriller. A young English couple on holiday in Venice in an attempt to rekindle their relationship. They are attracted to a fascinating older couple and fall under their spell. The older man is played by Christopher Walken who plays an enigmatic charming enticing character who proves irresistible to the younger couple but turns out to be a psychopath. A series of meetings between the two couples ensue building to the shocking and weird conclusion. The atmosphere between the two couples is sexually charged and the film successfully captures the way the young couple are captivated by qualities in the Walken character that they do not understand , or maybe are unaware of. The film has its fans on the internet but I did not like it , especially as I am not a fan of Rupert Everett who plays the younger man. The end is just plain weird but maybe is meant to be surreal or an allegorical I suppose. 5/10

COMPLIANCE

2012 Drama. Unusual story based on real events about how ordinary law abiding people will do almost anything when they believe they are blindly obeying orders from someone in authority. This is about an apparently common scam of a prank caller who calls a fast food outlet pretending to be a police detective and , in this instance, convinces the manageress to carry out a strip search of a pretty blonde employee played by Dreama Walker. Things get even more extreme as staff suspend common sense and blindly follow instructions from the 'detective' on the telephone. Shocking. Let down by some scenes which are obviously just padding to make the film feature length. 6/10

CONSENTING ADULTS

1992 Classic early 1990s erotic thriller. Kevin Spacey superbly plays the new neighbour who disrupts Kevin Kline's perfect marriage and life. Spacey plays a charismatic charmer who is supremely confident and easily manipulates Kline into his insurance scams which net him millions. The plot gets darker as the sexual tension between the two couple rises. I watched this film when it came out and am pleased to have rediscovered it now. It's an underrated example of the genre and I recommend it. 8/10

COOK, THE THIEF, HIS WIFE, AND HER LOVER (THE)

1989 Comedy, drama, fantasy. This film is completely weird, bizarre, and surreal. After the first 10 minutes I really was about to abandon it but something made me hang on in there. Abused wife , Helen Mirren, of brutal, sadistic, vulgar gang leader husband takes a lover. From then onwards Mirren is never seen in clothes again, and has sex in all the hidden nooks and crannies of the restaurant (especially in the toilets). Everything in this film especially the mountains of food, and the gluttony is phallic and suggestive and is about the connections with love, and sex, and death. There is prolific nudity and sex. Cannot decide if it is the masterpiece creation of a genius or complete drivel. I suspect the latter. The wildly varying reviews on Lovefilm reflects this. Beware the end is gratuitous bloody violence and gruesome torture ending in cannibalism! 4/10

CRACKS

2009 Sensuous drama about a remote girls on a Scottish island school set in the 1930s. A fanatical, possessive and highly dedicated young teacher brilliantly played by Eva Green (Casino Royale) has cultivated a position of total influence and control over a small team of girls who are under her wing. She is with them all the time and they are her life. But the equilibrium is disturbed by the arrival of a new , worldly wise and beautiful girl pupil from Spain who also begins to influence the group. The teacher starts to also be mesmerized by the new arrival and fall for her with disastrous results. The harmony of the group and the school is eventually brought to a tragic ending. A story about coming of age, sexual awakening, the abuse of positions of authority, loyalty and trust. Better than you might expect although a slow burn film which takes a long time to get going and which requires patience. 7/10

CRASH (1996) The original film with the title Crash. A highly bizarre soft core porno thriller about finding car crashes sexy and strange obsession. Not for everybody. Highly alternative viewing. 7/10

CRUEL INTENTIONS 3

2004Urrrgh! The OC meets well I'm lost for words. Highly contrived sex farce portraying worst aspects of young Californian culture. 2/10

CRUSH

1992 Drama. Rather amateurish New Zealand film in which two girl friends have a horrendous car accident and one of them suffers brain damage. The other girl who was driving the car impersonates her friend and forms a relationship with the writer that her injured friend was travelling to interview. She also forms a relationship with the writer's daughter. She shows herself to be a selfish, dangerous and destructive character in her subsequent relationships with the writer's family with whom she stays whilst her friend is in hospital. A study of love , seduction and attraction between the two friends, and also with the writer and his daughter. It is also a tale of self obsession on the part of this main girl character. It is watchable and mediocre at best but it does improve a little as it progresses so hang on in there and there is a big finish. 4/10

CRUSH

2001RomCom. Unusual emotional roller coaster. Starts as a 4 weddings style RomCom, but then evolves into a straight romance, and then unexpectedly turns dark and sad and becomes a tragedy. Explores the friendship between three 3 40+ women which is tested when one of them has a passionate relationship with a much younger man. The three lead women characters are all excellent. As I say the film has severe twists and turns and it is not always clear what the film is aiming to be but I found it watchable and touching nevertheless. 7/10

CUCKOO (THE)

2003 WWII drama. Unusual Russian film with sub titles. Very different to most war films. A Finnish SS officer, and a Russian officer , both seek to hide with a warm and practical recluse Lapp war widow in a remote camp where she lives off the surrounding land and sea. They speak three different languages and are unable to communicate verbally. It is a gentle study of complex human behaviour. Both men, whilst wary of each other , form romantic attachments with the mothering woman. This is a quality film with depth and messages. 7/10

DAMAGE

1992I always liked this erotic drama. Jeremy Irons is superb and totally credible and Juliette Binoche equally superb as the smouldering sexy , enigmatic mistress woman of mystery. The fireworks and passion that ensue are legendary but the film is compulsive viewing as you cannot turn away from watching a man who seemingly has everything become helpless from following a path of self destruction that eventually encompasses his whole family. The final pathetic scene of the fallen but still compulsive obsessive talented man alone as a recluse is unforgettable. 8/10

DANCE WITH A STRANGER

1985 Crime Drama. British made film telling the story of Ruth Ellis, the last woman to be hanged in Britain in the 1950s. Ellis is an ex prostitute divorcee working in a tacky night club and kept with her teenage son by a sugar daddy who actually loves her in a one sided relationship. Ellis abuses his love and instead has a long term obsessive relationship with an upper class toy boy who eventually dumps her. Ellis can never come to terms with this and murders him. Miranda Richardson is excellent as the hapless Ellis. Well acted and very watchable.7/10

DARK BLUE WORLD

2001 WWII drama. Czechoslovakia film with sub titles. Story of two Czech pilots flying for the RAF in England in the early part of the war who compete for the love of a local mother. After the war one of them returns to Czechoslovakia where he is branded a criminal and imprisoned and tortured by the communist regime. Watchable average war film. 5/10

DAYS OF HEAVEN

1979 Romantic drama. A young Richard Gere in this drama about a young couple who drift through the US in the early 20th century finding work where they can. They settle on a wheat plantation in the great plains where a dangerous love triangle ensues with the wealthy owner. But all is not as it seems. Meanwhile Gere manages to wear the same suit and waistcoat working the fields every day and always appearing perfectly pressed and immaculate. The film is unusually narrated throughout by a child, but its greatest merits are the outstanding photography, and the fascinating array of early automation on the farm. A sort of Out Of Africa set in the mid west of the US. watchable and reasonably good. 6/10

DEAD BEFORE DAWN 1993 Thriller Drama. Based on true events this made for TV movie depicts a wife and mother enduring physical abuse from her successful business man husband. She files for divorce, and her husband tried to replace her with a new squeeze and threatens to ruin her in court. However, he also hires a contract killer to murder her, who fortunately for her turns out to be an FBI agent in a sting operation. Just about watchable, but poorly scripted and acted. 3/10

DEAD SEXY

2001 Erotic Thriller. A formulaic film trying to follow in the footsteps of Basic Instinct. This film must have seemed dated even when it was released, as it seems to be a throwback to the style of ten years earlier. A female police detective gets sexually involved with the suspect for a series of identical high class call girl murders. Sounds familiar? It is! It is all there - the usual red herrings and the unerotic sexual encounters which are just embarrassing rather than qualifying as soft porn. The usual twist at the end which you will see coming a mile away . 4/10

DECEPTION

2008 Drama Thriller. Highly predictable formulaic erotic thriller in which a naive auditor is taken in by a slick brow beating confident lawyer as part of a multi- million dollar fraud. The auditor is compromised by introducing him to a mysterious fantasy sex exchange club. Despite its familiarity as a plot it is nevertheless watchable and reasonably enjoyable. Michelle Williams is the eye candy. 5/10
DEEP BLUE SEA (THE) (2011) Romantic tragic drama set in 1950 about wealthy woman (Weisz) who has a steamy affair with an RAF Battle of Britain hero but who cannot commit to her or give her the love she craves. She is driven to despair and attempts suicide. A dark, sad , depressing, and joyless story. Weisz is superb but the film is not an enjoyable watch and you sort of end up wondering what was the point? Adaptation of a book and stage play. 5/10

DELIVERANCE

1972 Drama. A haunting, shocking, disturbing film about a group of four macho city boys who embark on a long distance canoeing venture down a fast wide river in Georgia. They travel through some very remote country in harsh conditions for which they are ill equipped and unprepared. Deep in the back country they are ambushed by two Neanderthal in-bred local hill billies. One of the guys is brutally raped and a deadly pursuit ensues in which one of the attackers is killed. The four guys are now trying to escape the other attacker and the law fearing that the local police will not be on their side. Well acted by an all star cast this classic has not dated but would not be for everybody. However it remains a convincing realistic horrific and tense drama for those with string stomachs. 7/10

DOOR IN THE FLOOR (THE)

2004 Jeff Bridges, Kim Bassenger. Steamy drama about teenage boy who goes to work for aged author (Bridges) . Boy forms relationship with wife Bassenger. Watchable average film but fairly uneventful, and unremarkable. 5/10

DOT THE I

2003 Romance. Rubbish. Dodgy acting. Awful film. Absolutely hated it. No credible connections or emotions in the love triangle. Very slow. I must have missed something as there are a lot of favourable reviews and some say the last 20 minutes are good but I gave up long before that. 1/10

DOUBLE INDEMNITY

1973 Erotic thriller. Sadly extremely dated, plodding and unerotic. Only interesting from the point of seeing the 1970s apartments and clothes. The film is entirely shot like a stage play and has almost no musical score which seems strange nowadays. The acting is wooden and unconvincing. The story just seems to be going through the motions mechanically and the film has little to commend it. It is apparently a remake of a 1944 classic which I have not seen. Anyway don't bother with this version. Any routine TV detective story would be better. 4/10

DOUBLE JEOPARDY

1992 Run of the mill erotic thriller. Starts well but in the end a bit disappointing. Yes there is a twist near the end but after that the film is very rushed like they could not wait to get finished and the ending is poor. Watchable bread and butter film but that is all. 6/10

DRESSED TO KILL

1979 erotic thriller. A Hitchcock style story about a transvestite homicidal maniac. Disjointed. The film does not flow. It is poorly scripted, very poorly cast and highly formulaic and predictable. Unbelievably Michael Caine is in it. How did he ever get associated with something as mediocre as this? 3/10

EASY RIDER

1969 Drama. Has not really stood the test of time . Dated predictable 60s drugs and sex, intended to shock. Watchable though , and a great soundtrack. 5/10

EASY VIRTUE

2008 British film based on Noel Coward play set just after WWI. Prodigal son returns home with gorgeous American wife (Jessica Biel) and incurs the prejudice and hostility of his snobby aristocrat mother (Kristin Scott Thomas). Brilliant cast -includes Colin Firth. Meanders between comedy and serious statement but very entertaining with an unexpected twist ending. 8/10

ELENA UNDONE

2010 Lesbian Romance film. I really struggled with this one at first and found it hard to get into and came close to giving up on it. But it is a film that gets better as it progresses and actually becomes one of the most convincing and realistic lesbian romances ever made. A previously straight married woman falls reluctantly for a lesbian and so begins a real and deep friendship which flourishes into something much deeper. Eventually they are deeply in love and have a full blow affair. The impact on the woman's children and husband is handled sensitively . Very well scripted and acted. Much better than the typical film in this genre. 7/10

ELLES

2012 Erotic drama. French with sub titles. Juliette Binoche stars as a journalist writing an article on prostitution. She is following two young French students who are paying their way through university by selling personal services. The journalist becomes increasingly obsessed and frustrated by the apparent glamour and excitement of the student's lives in comparison with her own boring and sexless existence in a stale marriage. the film contains an unusual degree of explicit gymnastics but fails to really portray the reality of prostitution and rather ends up glorifying and idealizing it as a career choice. However Binoche is as credible and excellent as ever and goes some way to rescuing and saving a dodgy movie. Watchable.5/10

ESCORT (THE)

(1999) Erotic drama. French film with sub titles. Entertaining average watchable highly improbable fantasy about a boring middle aged French husband who deserts his family and escapes to London to work as a paid escort. His paid sex life and unpaid love and sex life explode with young beautiful women! In your dreams! Credibility is stretched too far. However his increasingly complicated life spirals out of control. Despite the implausible plot the film has a strong cast and is well acted. An unconvincing twist awaits you at the end. 5/10

EXTERMINATING ANGELS (THE)

2006 Sexual fantasy. French film with sub titles. A middle aged man lets his fantasies run wild and makes a film watching lots of nubile young girls masturbate and voice their hidden desires! There is a surreal and parallel universe twilight zone dimension to the film that is never fully explained. The story ends in tears . It succeeds in being mildly erotic in parts. Watchable adequate film but no more than that. 4/10

FACTORY GIRL

2006 Drama set in the second half of the 1960s based on the real life story of Edie Sedgwick the beautiful young girlfriend of Andy Warhol. Edie captivates Warhol at first and quickly starts appearing in his films and at his parties / orgies. Sadly Edie gradually descends into oblivion as her drug habit introduced by Warhol causes her to self destruct. Despite coming from a wealthy family she is disowned by her parents and becomes penniless and Warhol loses interest in her and moves on to another girl. Warhol is portrayed as being intensely disloyal. Within just 5 years she is dead at just 28. I quite liked this ultimately sad movie and found it watchable although it has many faults. It reminded me of the 'The Blackout'. 6/10

FASCINATION

(1979)

Horror. French film with sub titles. Extremely bizarre story of a group of vampire women who hold a ritual in a castle dressed only in net curtains and sacrifice a male guest who is a thief on the run. I imagine he would have welcomed any means of escaping this film including being carved up and drunk. Lots of blood, nudity and sex but the acting is appalling and the film as a whole is COMPLETE RUBBISH. 2/10

FASCINATION

(2005) An unerotic erotic thriller. I watched it because I thought it could not possibly be as bad as the reviews but it is! The acting is awful and the musical score embarrassing. The plot is preposterous. Is that enough to be going on with? Do not be tempted. Deffo rubbisho. 3/10

FATAL ATTRACTION

1987 erotic thriller. Cannot believe that this film is now 25 years old. It has aged so well. Still a standard setting classic of the erotic thriller genre. The bunny boiling scene is of course iconic in the movie world. Michael Douglas is superb with his hunted rabbit in the headlights expressions. A classic film that everyone should see but is there anyone who has not seen it yet? Surprised that this predates Basic Instinct by 5 years. Tense and captivating from start to finish. 9/10

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY 2015 Mildly erotic drama. This very popular film appeals especially to women and is based on the record breaking book. Many women who enjoyed the books and are intrigued and titillated by the fantasy notions of this story will rate it 10. However this film is not erotic and is extremely tame. If anything it is more of a romance. The female lead is excellent and very credible. What is less credible is the notion that any woman would be willing to engage in being submissive and dominated by a rich man without all the trappings of being spoilt and lavished in between times when they are not playing. I gather that this will be put to rights and the relationship will be more balanced and plausible in the sequel. After all the hype I was disappointed. 5/10

FILTH

2013 Tragi-comedy. Very weird bizarre surreal drama about an ambitious Scottish Detective who is trying secure a promotion and desperately scheming to eliminate all the competition. An outrageous film in which the detective's world descends into a frenzy of alcohol, sex, drugs and violence. Not for the feint hearted or easily offended. More shocking , irreverent and sordid than funny. Some people will love this film but it was not my cup of tea. Great cast though and a very appropriate title. I was sort of wondering what was the point really as it is not funny and the entertainment value is only in its outrageousness. 5/10

FINGERSMITH

2005 Period drama set in 19th century. BBC series. An unusual and original plot with more twists than a game of pontoon. Very good acting and casting, It is long (180 mins) but is well worth the effort. It gets better and more intriguing as it progresses. There is a lesbian relationship tastefully and credibly done. A very good drama of betrayal, love , greed, wealth, poverty, and a gigantic scam. This film has it all. I was surprised that I was not aware of this when it was on TV. 8/10

FISH TANK

2009 Drama. Bleak gritty portrayal of the lives of a very young single mother and her two daughters the oldest of whom is 15 in a grim tower block in an east London sink estate. Depressing and sadly extremely realistic view of people living hopeless lives . The mother's boyfriend also turns his attention on the daughter with predictably disastrous results. A compelling watch. 7/10

FLAME & CITRON

2009

WW 2 Drama based on true story about the Danish resistance in 1944 set in Copenhagen. Sub titles. I agree that it is a bit long but it is definitely watchable. Has some similarities to The Black Book so if you liked that then this may be for you. Good in the sense that you are never sure who are the goodies and baddies just like the real situation. The relationship between one of the resistance fighters and a glamorous seductress is intriguing as you are never sure which side she is on. 7/10

FORBIDDEN

2002 soft porn love story. Most low budget soft porn films of this genre are absolutely dire rubbish. But this one is watchable and a cut above. Yes there is oodles of sex and nudity but the four main characters can actually act which is unusual and in particular Renee Rea the lead female is very credible and likeable. OK as a late night titillating easy watch. 5/10

FRIGHTENED WOMAN (THE)

1969 Italian erotic thriller fantasy dubbed in English. Weird, surreal, bizarre story where the director indulges his sexual fantasies. Briefly a wealthy narcissistic male supremacy psychopath tortures his female victim slaves. Dated, stylised 1960s fare, with the usual horrendous intrusive soundtrack. Memorable only for the iconic amphicar which makes an appearance. Whatever happened to them? Watchable but have a magazine handy to keep you fully occupied! 4/10

FRIVOLOUS LOLA (18)

1998 Absolute rubbish sex film. Unwatchable . It beat me and I turned if off. Low budget soft porn. Do not be tempted. 1/10

GENERAL'S DAUGHTER (THE)

1999 John Travolta. A US army general's popular daughter (herself a captain) is found raped and murdered. Travolta investigates and uncovers a shocking major scandal. It is a little contrived but is a very good action drama / thriller. 7/10

GIRL FROM NOWHERE (THE)

2012 Drama. French film with sub titles. A massively pretentious offering from France which apparently won some award at the Locano Film Festival whatever that is. The film is so up itself it is hard to believe it was made so recently. An absolutely huge ageing male lead (you will need to watch in widescreen) plays a lonely intellectual reclusive widower author. He takes a troubled young attractive seductive girl under his wing and she moves in with him. Yes dream on. And then the film meanders between being a highly amateur confusing dalliance with the paranormal-the girl has apparently attracted evil spirits into the flat- and a amateur psychology pretentious discussion about the reasons why human beings thirst for delusion to relieve them from the desolation of life. Urrrgh! 3/10

GIRL IN THE CAFÉ (THE)

2005 Romantic drama. OK not the best film ever and not Richard Curtis' best film either but definitely watchable. The two lead roles are superb (Bill Nighy and Kelly MacDonald) and it is a low key gentle pleasant innocuous meander of a story. Two lonely souls sort of drift together for a while and a little connection and love is briefly found before their lives diverge again. It is wrong to describe the relationship as a whirlwind romance-more a gentle drifting together of two awkward lonely people. It is sensitively handled and I liked it. 7/10

GUILTY OF ROMANCE

2011 Erotic thriller. Macabre gruesome and highly explicit Japanese film with sub-titles. A bored, neglected young wife of a famous author approaching 30 takes to a life of modelling then prostitution to relieve her frustration. She forms a dangerous relationship with an older woman, who lectures at a university, but also lives a double life working as a prostitute at night. A grisly murder is discovered in a love hotel district of Tokyo and the police investigation leads to the two women. Loosely based on a real person. But the film is a study of depravity and will be too distasteful for most to tolerate. But for a few it will be watchable and better than most in this genre . 4/10

HAVOC

2005 Teen crime drama. A pair of rebellious rich teenage girls dabble with the gang scene in Los Angeles with tragic consequences. One of the girls (Allison) is played by a young Anne Hathaway who excels early in her career in this role. Allison and her friend are rich young white girls trying to be part of the hip-hop black thug gang scene. They get involved in drugs and engage in an initiation ceremony to join a black gang 'crew'. Afterwards the other girl falsely claims she was raped and unleashes some tragic reprisals between the two gangs. A convincing social commentary with some depth. 5/10

HENRY AND JUNE

1990

Erotic biographical drama about the controversial American author Henry Miller and his wife June and their multiple relationships with their friends Anais and her husband. There is a fair sprinkling of erotica but this film is nowhere near as steamy as its reputation suggests. It is an exploration of sexual awakening, liberation, and promiscuity in 1930's Bohemian Paris. It is a long film that sadly eventually becomes a tad boring. It is in the end disappointing as it starts so intriguingly and tantalisingly and promises so much, you think you are in for a real treat. But it does not succeed in maintaining this level of fascination and becomes a little repetitive and laboured. It remains a very good film, but unfortunately not a great one. 7/10

HIGH ART

1998 Lesbian Romantic Drama. A young editor, (Syd) meets an ageing troubled legendary photographer living in the flat above her and falls in love with her. She gradually abandons her boyfriend and instead forms an increasingly deep relationship with the photographer and finds herself part of a love triangle. She starts to spend more and more time in the flat about which seems to be filled with degenerates snorting heroin 24/7. It is like watching Friends but where the entire cast have a drug habit. There hardly seems to be any scenes where the characters are not constantly snorting heroin. Drug use and abuse so dominates the film that it just becomes depressing and irritating. This film has its fans who consider it to be a masterpiece. I thought it was average really. Beware it all ends in tears and tragedy. 5/10

HOMELAND SERIES 1 & 2

2012 TV war on terror based drama. Long running very successful Fox USA made TV series. Outstanding drama based on Islamic terrorism , Homeland security, CIA, double agents, with overlaid stories of sexual attraction, politics, and power. Every episode keeps you guessing . A world of mystery, suspense, and suspicion where nothing is as it seems. This series has everything, and is superbly scripted, cast and acted. The leading actress and actor, Clare Danes and Damian Lewis are a revelation and it is their highly charged and erotic relationship that justifies the inclusion in this collection of erotic films. TV drama does not get any better than this. Compulsive viewing. 10/10

HOMELAND SERIES 3

2013 TV war on terror based drama. Long running very successful Fox USA made TV series. Outstanding drama based on Islamic terrorism , Homeland security, CIA, double agents, with overlaid stories of sexual attraction, politics, and power. Every episode keeps you guessing . A world of mystery, suspense, and suspicion where nothing is as it seems. This series has everything , and is superbly scripted, cast and acted. The leading actress and actor, Clare Danes and Damian Lewis are a revelation and it is their highly charged and erotic relationship that justifies the inclusion in this collection of erotic films. TV drama does not get any better than this. Series 1 and 2 were so excellent that they were inevitably hard to follow, and indeed Series 2 ended in a situation where I do not think a third series was intended, However they came up with extensions to the original series and have succeeded in delivering another great series. The first few episodes and very good but the plot is somewhat improbable and contrived. However the third series does improve as it progresses and by the end the outstanding standard has been repeated. Compulsive viewing. 10/10

HOT SPOT (THE)

1990 Erotic Thriller made in the golden age of this genre. Beautifully dated cars and steaming tense encounters. far from the best and not in the class of Body Heat but never the less watchable if you like this genre. Another poor super stud eaten alive by his female prey. Good example of this type of film and directed by Dennis Hopper. 6/10

I CAPTURE THE CASTLE

2003 Drama. Coming of age drama about two teenage sisters finding their sexuality in a plot similar to Pride and Prejudice set in the 1930s. An impoverished family of two sisters and a younger brother see an opportunity to possibly marry their daughters off to wealthy brothers from the USA who move into the mansion next door. Bill Nighy plays the eccentric father who is a famous author but suffering from writers block. It is a sensitively done watchable romantic drama. Billed as a comedy but I would not describe it as that. 6/10

IMAGINE ME AND YOU

2006 Rom Com. OK so it's not the best film you'll ever see-it's a so so movie. Watchable, funny in parts. It has a very strong cast, and is a sort of second rate Notting hill. It's a bit different in that the ROM Com theme is a lesbian romance for a change. I quite enjoyed it but it is just cheesy light entertainment-nothing more. Can't believe some of the 10/10 ratings on Amazon though-what would they give Notting Hill then on that basis??? 5/10

IMPULSE

2008 erotic thriller. Low quality erotic thriller but not as bad as some and just about watchable at a push if you like this genre. You will need however to swallow the plot line which takes some doing as it relies on the wife not being able to tell who is her real husband between the genuine article and an imposter who looks similar and she unknowingly has an affair with the imposter!! The explanation is that she thinks her real husband is also pretending to be the imposter as a sort of sex game to spice up their relationship!! Yeh and the wife cannot tell the difference between the two men! Sounds bad but I did get through it and I've seen worse. 4/10
IN A DARK PLACE

2006 Horror thriller. A young school teacher takes a job as a nanny in a remote mansion looking after a wayward boy and his sister who are orphans. Strange events occur involving apparently ghosts and the story is just plain weird. There are several attempts to overlay an erotic sexual layer and in particular between the nanny and the female house manager, with some seemingly out of place nudity thrown in. Basically the film does not know what it is trying to be and is muddled and confused and disjointed. The ending is deliberately inconclusive and mystifying presumably to try to rescue the film with some further mystery at the final hour. You will not know what has gone on at the end of the film. There were some occasional moments of quality and suspense so the film does scrape a 3. Could have been so much better. 3/10

IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE

2000 Drama. Two spouses who are neighbours form a relationship united by the common bond that both their partners are having an affair. The only thing you'll be in the mood for is sleeping. It sent me off fairly rapidly. It is just so slow and mundane and ordinary and boring. Obviously I must be missing something as there are so many enthusiastic reviews but I fear that this may be pseudo intellectuals enthusing over something esoteric knowing that ordinary movie watchers will not get it. Well I certainly did not get it. There is no passion, no romance and certainly nothing steamy. There is no anything actually. Chinese with Sub-titles. 2/10

IN THE REALM OF THE SENSES

1976

Japanese erotic drama based on true story set in 1936. Sub titles. Contains copious quantities of explicit sex. Girl becomes obsessed with her older married lover and seeks to possess him. Bizarre ending. Alternative watchable viewing for the open minded. Average. 5/10

INDECENT PROPOSAL

1993 Obviously the basic storyline is preposterous but if you can ignore that it is a very interesting conundrum that would test most couples. I like this film and have watched it many times because I think they made a very good fist of giving credibility to a highly fanciful and unlikely story. Demi Moore is good in this-wasn't she so much better in her early days, and Redford is superb as always. It is in the end a touching romantic drama with a plot that is a bit different. Yes there are some naff bits but this film is definitely worth watching and an enjoyable light experience. 7/10

INTIMATE OBSESSION

1992 very very soft porn routine erotic thriller except that it is neither thrilling or erotic. Feels like a low budget TV movie. A bored housewife has a steamy relationship. A poor imitation of Body Heat. Poor acting and an unconvincing contrived plot. Don't bother. 3/10

INTIMATE RELATIONS (1996) Black comedy. Set in the 1950s a young ex sailor (Harold) moves into lodgings with a frustrated middle-aged land lady and her precocious Lolita daughter. The land lady quickly seduces Harold, followed a little later by the daughter. A dark comedy farce develops which fully exploits the tangled web to the full. But the acting is always straight and never slap stick. The pressure mounts on Harold as the demands of the two females become too much to handle. The film is produced in the date style and with a musical sound track typical of the era. Quite well acted, and obviously very contrived but achieves its aim of being watchable and amusing light entertainment. Macabre ending though. Average. 5/10

INTIMATE STRANGERS

2003 Drama. Absolutely typical French film i.e. understated , pretentious, ponderous and nothing happens . It has the musical score of a great erotic thriller like Body Heat or Basic Instinct but the music does not fit the film in which there is no action whatsoever and it is extremely hard to stay awake . Even the title of this film promises something that it does not deliver. The entire premise of the story is extremely contrived and unbelievable anyway but I could forgive that if there was subsequently some point to it but at the end you cannot help but conclude it is a waste of time . Sub titles 4/10

IRINA PALM

2007. Low budget dour but credible story about doormat Grandmother who desperate to raise funds for medical treatment for her sick grandson goes to work in the Soho sex industry. Feels like a TV drama. It is a very well acted film especially Marianne Faithfull as a middle aged frump. But I loved her back in the 1960s and prefer to remember her as she was! This is not a porno film although should be an 18 and not a 15 due to the amount of time spent portraying Maggi (Faithfull) working . Not a particularly enjoyable film but definitely watchable. 6/10

IRRESISTIBLE

2006Drama. Psychological thriller. Low budget movie but with excellent cast i.e. Sam Neil, Susan Sarandon and Emily Blunt. I had to watch this film twice to properly appreciate it. The film is worth staying with because it gets better as it progresses and keeps you guessing, and ends with a surprising twist. You think it is the standard married man has affair with gorgeous young assistant but it is not, and features a series of events which cause the wife to question her sanity. Average . 5/10

ISLE (THE)

2000 Korean drama with sub titles although unusually there is almost no dialogue. A surreal story that is very weird and alternative. The plot is about an attractive young apparently mute girl who manages a very remote fishing resort where the guests each live in isolated floating detached huts on a large lake. I think perhaps the deeper meaning of the film is the isolation of the individual. But what transpires is a slow, gory story of love, lust, murder and self mutilation (by swallowing bunches of fish hooks would you believe). I am not sure if this film is genius or rubbish but it will not appeal to most, and is not for the squeamish. On the positive side the photography is stunningly beautiful, and there is something intriguing about this film that keeps you watching to the end. Unfortunately what actually happens at the end is equally unclear but also has some esoteric double meaning. 4/10

JACK AND DIANE

2012 Horror lesbian teen drama. A confusing and extremely weird teenage coming of age lesbian love story drama in which there is a suggestion that actually one or perhaps both of the main characters are werewolves! i kid you not! Extremely disjointed and unconvincing in every way. There is the usual girl meets girl, girl lose girl routine, but the relationship is so unconvincing with minimal meaningful dialogue that you will not care. Many seemingly unconnected plot strands are tossed in in a vain attempt to give the movie some weight but it just rubbish. I did not make it to the end. 2/10

JADE

1995. Appallingly bad erotic thriller. Totally implausible . First victim was apparently blackmailing the state governor. I never did understand whodunit but by the time you get to the end of this you don't care! 3/10

JULIA

(1974) Erotic drama. There are many films with the title Julia. This is the one starring Silvia Kristel released in 1974. A poor soft porn drama. Excruciatingly badly acted in parts. Italian film badly dubbed in English. Extremely dated 1970s style. Not the slightest bit erotic-just ridiculous. Poorly transferred to DVD and unfocussed. 2/10

JUST ANOTHER LOVE STORY

2008 Thriller / Romance . I did not enjoy this film but I did make it all the way to the end. It is Danish with sub titles but that does not put me off as you cannot really afford to exclude all foreign films. Yes it is a similar plot to While You were Sleeping but to me somehow this version was not remotely credible. Happy family man with a good job, loving wife and two children he adores walks out and pretends to be boyfriend of woman who has horrendous car crash and is crippled and disfigured and clearly extremely emotionally disturbed? Takes a lot of swallowing. And trust me the plot gets even more absurd when the real boyfriend reappears. It has a lot of graphic violence and sex all of which are well done but not well enough to rescue the ridiculous plot. Sorry but it's a thumbs down from me. 3/10

KELLY AND VICTOR

2012 Love story drama made by an Irish/Welsh collaboration and set in Liverpool. A dark and shocking story about a young couple who meet and quickly form an obsessive sexual bond which escalates into dangerous games involving asphyxiation and mutilation. An 18 rated production with much explicit deviant sex so will not appeal to many and you will need a strong stomach and an interest in such deviation to watch it through. Actually well acted and scripted and very credible and watchable but only if you are interested in such things. 6/10

KIDS ARE ALRIGHT (THE)

2010 Family Drama. A thoroughly modern romantic comedy from the top drawer. Superbly scripted and acted from start to finish. A perfect film that bravely tackles the social issues of a modern lesbian married couple with two teenage children . It brilliantly examines the issues and challenges facing all of the characters and looks at all of the relationships within the family group. It is original, deep, touching, amusing, thought provoking and profound. It will make you laugh and cry and entertain you along the way. Annette Benning and Julian Moore star. A straight ten. 10/10

KILLING ME SOFTLY

2002. Highly implausible soft porn erotic thriller turkey. Joseph Fiennes at his most enigmatic monosyllabic and unfathomable supposedly male hunk. The plot is completely absurd, and the icing on the cake is when they supposedly go mountaineering on their wedding day as their reception! The twist at the end is laughable. Impossible to take this film seriously. Don't try the bondage at home! 3/10

KIND OF LOVING (A)

1962. Landmark iconic film set in the industrial north but was life really as grim as that in 1960? Depicts the stilted awkward mf relationships and the social taboos and prejudice of the time. Young couple who hardly know each other and have little in common have to get married when she falls pregnant after just one cringe making encounter. Love dies quickly when they have to live with her mother (Thora Hird) in the girls home. Makes you glad those days are over and celebrate how much more honest , healthy , real and mature young people's relationships are today. B/W. Shocking. 7/10

KISS ME

(KYSS MIG)

2011 Lesbian romantic drama. Swedish film with sub-titles popular within the lesbian community for its authenticity. In this touching story an engaged woman in her thirties falls in love with her step sister and the new couple go through all the pain and struggle to dismantle their previous lives to build a new life together. It is well scripted and acted and much better than the average offering in this genre. It is honest, sensitive, subtle, romantic, and credible. There is some girl on girl action but it is not gratuitous and this film's real quality is the careful and gentleness with which they portray the initial attraction, seduction, and realism of the romantic affair that ensues. It is a film about being rave enough to follow your heart and dreams and be yourself. 8/10

KISSING A DREAM

1996 Erotic Thriller- Not!. I did watch the entire film but only because I was on a flight and it would have been difficult to change the film on my DVD player. Soft porn rubbish based on a sort of reverse Fatal Attraction i.e. the baddie is a man. The wardrobe budget for this film must have been less than a fiver because the entire cast are naked most of the time and any combination of the characters will do for a random coupling as a side show from the main plot. There is wall to wall sex but it is not the slightest bit erotic or a thriller . Do not rent this film -it is awful. 3/10

LADY CHATTERLEY'S LOVER

1981. French with sub titles 168 minutes! Like watching paint dry. No idea why it's an 18. Disappointing. Adequate at best. Nothing to excite though and dull. 4/10

LADY OF THE NIGHT

1985 Erotic Thriller. Extremely dated supposedly erotic thriller but just plain awful. Italian made and badly dubbed in America accents. Sub-titles might have been better. Diabolical wooden stilted acting. Regarded by some as an 80s erotic classic? OMG. Much simulated action usually between a fully dressed male and the totally naked female lead character. But it is just so bad it is unwatchable. I last about 20 mins! Rubbish. 1/10

LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT (THE)

(2009). Low budget gruesome thriller. A couple avenge the rape and attempted murder of their daughter in their vacation home. Extremely violent and graphic. Not for the squeamish. Of no real merit. 3/10

LAST NIGHT

(2010) Romantic drama. Very under film which analyses love, relationships and temptation. Well acted (Kiera Knightley is excellent) , good script, and very credible. Very sensitively handled and touching. Does not deserve the bad reviews. Some people just don't like subtle slow stories. 8/10

LAST RESORT

2000 Low budget BBC film in Mike Leigh slow burn style . Pretty young Russian single mother jilted by the man she thought she was meeting in UK seeks asylum and is placed in Margate where she falls for bingo caller after someone tries to recruit her into soft porn. Its watchable but low key and uneventful and is essentially a story about loneliness and hopelessness and low expectations. 4/10

LAST SEDUCTION (THE)

1994 Erotic thriller drama. Not as good as I remembered it. Horrendous dated musical soundtrack. Average thriller plot about man eating bitch. 5/10

LAST SEDUCTION II (THE)

1999 Erotic thriller. Sequel to the 1994 original. A lower budget straight to DVD offering that continues the story in Barcelona. Same man eating bitch. Not as good as the original with some dodgy acting by the male lead (victim). Still very much a typical dated 1990s style erotic thriller , and watchable, but adequate at best. 4/10

LAST TANGO IN PARIS

1972 Classic erotic drama. Was innovative, controversial, and shocking at the time, but now very dated. By modern taste it is now heavily of the late 1960s with a pretentious, self indulgent, arty farty style. It has not stood the test of time and seems overrated and over long at over 2 hours. It is slow and boring in parts and you may find yourself reaching for the fast forward. Yes it contains the infamous butter scene but that is not enough to save it. Heavily based around a brooding, moody, enigmatic, taciturn Marlon Brando. 4/10

LEAVING

(2009). Kristin Scott Thomas, French with sub-titles . Rich married woman in South of France is bored and falls in love with builder who is working on her house. She is engulfed by passion and cannot live without him and it all ends in tears and tragedy. KST lifts it from a 5 to a 6/10.

LEMMING (THE

2005) French thriller with sub-titles. I enjoyed this more than I do most French films and it started well and I was hopeful that I would be able to recommend it as an intriguing love triangle thriller . But sadly I can't because the further into it you get the more weird and surreal it becomes and at the end you will not know what actually happened , and what was dreamt or hallucinated. It is just too strange and I would not bother with it. It is not worth all those sub-titles! 5/10

LES VALSEUSES

1974 Erotic drama. Unusual film that grows on you. 1974 but actually feels much more like 1968 swinging 60s sexual liberation era in the mould of Easy Rider and Zabrieski Point. Two petty criminal anarchic wasters go on an aimless odyssey through France stealing cars and picking up women. However their relationship with one young girl in particular who becomes a common thread throughout the story gives the film greater depth and appeal. French with sub titles but it is much faster moving than most French films and I enjoyed it more than most French films. This is an under rated and fairly unknown film of some merit and originality from the 1970s. It is described as a comedy but it is darker and more menacing than that. 7/10

LIE WITH ME

(2004) Crime suspense thriller. Made for TV (Granada) British low budget film. Similar in style to a Prime Suspect production. Watchable with a reasonable plot involving sex and drugs. Things get complicated when rape victim falls for the investigating detective. A bit long with some padding out that is irrelevant to the story. Some horrendous gaffs in continuity. Average. Beware there is another film with the same title released in 2005 and thus is easy to confuse. This later film is a mediocre soft porn drama best avoided. 5/10

LIE WITH ME

(2005) . Soft core porno about couple who only wanted casual sex but fall in love. Fails to develop the characters and provides no credible basis to the relationship other than sex. 5/10

LIKE CRAZY

2011 Romantic drama about a young couple who meet at university in Los Angeles and fall madly in love. At the end of their studies the girl who is from the UK violates her US visa conditions and falls out with the US immigration authorities. This is then followed by years of trying to conduct their relationship at long distance as they are prevented from living in the same country. Eventually they get married to try to solve their problems but by then they have both grown up a bit and met other partners. They do get back together but the end is a bit weak and inconclusive suggesting that perhaps they both now yearn for the alternative lives they have built with other partners. It is an innocuous well acted and touching romantic drama and better than you might expect. Actually quite good. 6/10

LIKE WATER FOR CHOCOLATE

1992 Romantic Comedy. South American film in Spanish with sub-titles. Yarn about a young woman (Tita) prevented from marrying as she has to look after her controlling mother until she dies. Set in the late 19th century. Her lover marries her sister instead so he can stay close to Tita. Not credible, and not amusing. Long and tedious with intricate details about cooking recipes! 3/10

LITTLE CHILDREN

2006 drama. Actually this serious story is about parents rather than children , but maybe about how we all stay children underneath. A great thought provoking film with depth dealing with sensitive issues (including paedophilia) and situations in human relationships and life . Two or three threads are interwoven with great dexterity. The central plot concerns a touching inter marital love affair between a mother superbly acted by Kate Winslet and another Dad. The film has a brilliant cast , and is well scripted and acted. An under rated film that I am surprised is not better known. 8/10

LOOK OF LOVE (THE)

2013 Drama. Dramatization of the life of Paul Raymond. OK but it could have been better, but is very watchable and pretty good. Steve Coogan does a good job of playing Raymond, and the film develops the sad story of his tragic relationship with the daughter than he idolizes. 7/10

LOST & DELIRIOUS

2001 Gay /Lesbian drama. Touching drama about two teenage lesbian lovers , and their roommate in a girls' boarding school in the USA. Trauma follows when one of the lovers gets a boyfriend and dumps the other girl who then has a breakdown with disturbing results. It is well acted and sensitively handled. This film is a cut above and deeper than the usual titillating fantasy rubbish about girls boarding schools and is much more than just a girl on girl romp. Watchable. 6/10

LOST IN TRANSLATION

2003 Romantic drama. Pleasant credible drama set in Tokyo. An unlikely friendship, and romance develops between an American middle aged famous actor working in the city, and the newly married American young wife of a photographer who is abandoned for a few days by her husband who is also away working. The fun that the actor has away from his humdrum life back home, and the romantic liaison causes him to start questioning his life. Well cast and acted, with credible chemistry between the unlikely couple. Keeps you guessing how it will end. Great performance by Scarlett Johansson that launched her career. 7/10
LOST RIVER

2014 Thriller /horror movie. Directed by Ryan Gosling. Strange story about a single mother and her teenage son and daughter who are living in a remote town in the US where a river and a town have been lost beneath a reservoir. There is a fabled curse on the area from some unresolved issues lying at the bottom of the reservoir. The mother takes a job performing in a bizarre and dubious horror theatre with sexual overtones. An average film with bit of a mix of plot lines as often happens with horror films to build suspense but watchable. 5/10

LOT LIKE LOVE (A)

2005 Formulaic repetitive frustrating romance. Amanda Peet is good in this and almost saves the day but the plot is just too unrealistic and frustrating. By the time the plot reaches an outcome you are past caring. Would be a better film if they took out 20 minutes. 5/10

LOVE AND OTHER IMPOSSIBLE PURSUITS

2011

Also known as The Other Woman. Drama. Natalie Portman. Young woman tackles a raft of sensitive and heavy issues e. g. a marriage breaking affair, a baby that dies suddenly for which she feels responsible, the wrath of first wife, a precocious stepson, divorced parents, unfaithful father, all in short order. A thought provoking film, and credible, but emotionally draining. A sad film of end to end battles, disappointments and emotional challenges. Definitely not a happy movie to watch. This film is billed as a comedy-be warned it is absolutely not a comedy. 7/10

LOVE CRIME

(2010) Drama thriller. French film with sub titles starring Kristin Scott Thomas. KST plays a manipulating game playing super bitch boss from hell who systematically tries to destroy and humiliate an up and coming high flying female executive who works for her but threatens to out shine her. A good plot in which things get out of control and turn sinister. A watchable well acted good thriller with some twists and turns. The script is dodgy in places but possibly it was lost in translation. 6/10

LOVE EXCHANGE

2001 soft porn . Do not watch this movie. It is complete rubbish. It is supposed to be soft porn but is just boring and repetitive . It consists of nothing but a continual series of unerotic boring simulated encounters between all the characters in every possible combination with appalling acting and a stupid story. 2/10

LOVE RANCH

2010 Drama. Film based on a true story set in the late 1970s in Nevada's first legalized and very successful brothel. The ranch is run by strong but long suffering wife played by Helen Mirren who is married to an objectionable and unpleasant philanderer Charlie. He decides to broaden his business interests by taking on a heavy weight prize fighter with a view to having a pop at the world championship. But events take an unexpected turn when an unlikely love triangle develops with his wife with explosive results. Watchable but barely adequate film despite Mirren's best efforts to save the day. The best aspects are the American cars and the scenery. 4/10

LOVEWRECKED

2005

Teen film . Light and shallow teen RomCom but if you watch it for what it is the plot is actually quite amusing. Superstar is marooned on a desert island with one of his obsessed fans (or so he thinks). 4/10

LOVING ANNABELLE

2006. Teenage girl with high profile political parents in USA joins new posh boarding school in USA and falls in love with female teacher. A lesbian relationship ensues which is destined to end in tears. Sympathetically and credibly handled. TV movie feel. Average watchable film. Weak ending. 5/10

LOWER CITY

2005 Steamy sexual drama about two low life youths who form a love triangle with a young prostitute. At first it works but increasingly the boys become unwilling to share her. The film depicts a harsh life living in poverty and where violence is never far away. The film is reasonably well acted , but is somewhat disjointed, and has a disappointingly weak and inconclusive ending. A watchable film throughout though. Brazilian film in Spanish with sub titles. 5/10

LUCKY ONE (THE)

2012.Romantic drama about a US Iraq war veteran who returns to the USA and goes to work for a woman whose lost photograph he found in battle. Gradually they form a relationship. Yes it's a cheesy chick flick but it is sensitively done and makes for a sweet predictable pleasant romantic drama. It is reasonably well acted and very watchable.7/10

LUST , CAUTION

2007 Chinese film. Unusual theme of Chinese resistance against the Japanese in WWII. A young girl from the resistance forms a very dangerous relationship with a senior Chinese collaborator with the aim of arranging his execution. The heroin inevitably forms an emotional attachment to her intended victim. Very explicit sex. Chinese speech throughout with English sub titles which at times are too quick to read. Over 2 and a half hours long. I quite liked it. 6/10

MA MERE

2004 Drama. Controversial French film with sub titles. A unique film in terms of the subject that it addresses (incest), that will offend most people. A young ,sexy, and promiscuous mother initiates her 17 year old son into her sexual , and emotionally dangerous high jinx. Initially everyone has fun but the boy increasingly becomes confused, obsessed, and infatuated with his mother leading to a disastrous, shocking, and highly disturbing ending. This film would be unwatchable by all but the most broad minded viewer, but is certainly different , and actually well acted. 6/10

MADAME BOVARY

(2000) BBC film based on French novel about woman who marries a doctor but is unfulfilled and bored. She embarks on a string of passionate affairs and runs up debts and it all ends in tears. A bit slow and long. 6/10

MAN UP

2015 RomCom. An excellent and thoroughly modern comedy romantic drama made by the superb performance of the female lead Lake Bell and the equally terrific male lead Simon Pegg. A truly modern comedy with an amazing script which absolutely captures modern British dating culture and etiquette (I say this without the practical experience of course!) A brilliantly amusing and entertaining film.9/10

MARGARITA

(2013)

Lesbian romance. Drama about a young lesbian Mexican nanny who is a domestic goddess upon whom her employing family rely for everything. A spanner is thrown in the works when the family decide that behind their wealthy facade they are broke and the nanny has to go. All hell breaks loose without her and predictably they realise they cannot do without her. Against this backdrop, the nanny has an on-off relationship with the girl she loves whilst simultaneously fending off various male suitors. A love-conquers-all feel good light romantic comedy. Watchable. 4/10

MARIA'S LOVERS

1984 Romantic Drama. US soldier returns from horrors of fighting Japanese in WW II . Marries his childhood sweetheart but cannot consummate the marriage. OK in parts but much poor script and poor acting. The title is misleading-this is no steamy romp. 4/10

MARINE STORY (A)

2010 Lesbian drama. A reasonable adequate low budget film based on true events that attempts to make a serious point about the US military policy of discharging female officers discovered to be gay. The woman mysteriously returns home unexpectedly from what should have been a long and distinguished career to the surprise of her friend and family. The story concentrates on her new civilian life after having fought in Iraq. She devotes herself to preparing a young wayward rebellious girl to be ready to apply for the military herself. A watchable but fairly unremarkable film. 4/10

MARTYRS

2008 Horror thriller drama. French / Canadian movie in French with sub-titles. This is the daddy of sick, macabre, brutal torture movies. Scantily- clad nubile young girls are imprisoned for years on end in isolation and abused and degraded in the basement of this horror house. It portrays the gruesome extremes of cruelty and sadism in as graphic form as any film before it. There is enough blood and terror and violence to satisfy anyone's appetite. It is a terror porn movie. Thankfully much of the worst scenes are shot in the dark! But there is a plot and later in the movie the reason for all this will be revealed and it will surprise you. Not one to watch with your granny! 5/10

MASTERS OF SEX

SERIES 1

2013 Season 1, 12 episodes, romantic made for TV drama. Story set in 1956 based on true events about the pioneering study work of sex therapist Bill Masters in a US hospital. However this is no serious docudrama. This is wall to wall hot romp and a literally hot bed of affairs, and relationships and emotional human behaviour writ large. There is much sexual activity in this production although all carefully cut and sanitised to make it suitable for US television. What make this particularly appealing is the high quality of the individual acting performances, the script, the rare and fascinating subject matter, and the intriguing characters. The two main leads, Michael Sheen and Lizzy Caplan are just exquisite. As a bonus you get the fantastic and lavish 1950s sets, wardrobes and fabulous cars. You will either find this very repetitive and boring, or you will love it. Personally I am in the latter category. 9/10

MASTERS OF SEX

SERIES 2

2014 Season 2, 12 episodes, romantic made for TV drama. Story set in early 1960s based on true events about the pioneering study work of sex therapist Bill Masters in a US hospital. However this is no serious docudrama. This is wall to wall hot romp and a literally hot bed of affairs, and relationships and emotional human behaviour writ large. There is much sexual activity in this production although all carefully cut and sanitised to make it suitable for US television. What make this particularly appealing is the high quality of the individual acting performances, the script, the rare and fascinating subject matter, and the intriguing characters. The two main leads, Michael Sheen and Lizzy Caplan are just exquisite. As a bonus you get the fantastic and lavish 1950s sets, wardrobes and fabulous cars. You will either find this very repetitive and boring, or you will love it. Personally I am in the latter category. Series 2 is every bit as good as Series 1. 9/10

ME WITHOUT YOU

2002 Drama. Interesting story about two female childhood friends who form a close bond that endures through their adult lives. But this film attempts to really examine the realities of such a close friendship between the women and how it is not always a positive or healthy thing due to how they often make each other feel. Their relationship is particularly tested when they both fall for and sleep with the same lecturer at university, and also by the love between one of the girls and the other's brother. Eventually, thirty years later, things kind of get sorted out, and there is as close to a happy ending as you'll ever get but mainly due to them becoming weary and pragmatic from the realities and compromises of life. Better than most films of this genre. 6/10

MON AMOUR

1997 Soft porn. Very sexually explicit story about wife nymphomaniac. Italian film with sub titles. Minimal plot, tasteless gratuitous nudity and poorly acted. Italia Rubbishimo. 3/10

MY SUMMER OF LOVE

2004 love drama (Lesbian). Two 16 girls from different ends of the social spectrum enjoy a summer friendship in a Yorkshire village and growing intimacy. The love between them is sensitively handled and there is a detailed and credible observation of how they bridge the gulf of affluence and education. It is a touching story well acted . 7/10

NAKED

1993 Drama. Typical hard hitting Mike Leigh film about low life, and abuse of women. Violence, rape, drugs, hopelessness. Bleak, depressing , moving, but a very good film. 7/10

NATHALIE

2003 French film with sub titles. A wife sets up her serial philandering husband with a prostitute and then forms a friendship with the prostitute herself in order to hear about the encounters. Typical slow, ponderous and pedantic and pretentious French film. Unnecessarily long and strung out. Not even particularly erotic. 4/10

NELLY AND MR. ARNAUD

1995 Romantic drama. A subtle French film with sub titles about love and relationships. I liked it although not as much as many other reviewers apparently. It is a typical French film, i.e. slow and ponderous and lengthy but better than many French films due to the excellent acting and credible characters . It is a low key slow burning observation of human behaviour without much action. Watchable but could be a bit uneventful for many. 6/10

NINE AND A HALF WEEKS

1985 Erotic drama. Kim Bassinger. Shame-this iconic erotic film has not aged well. No longer warrants an 18 as you will see more explicit sex on regular TV nowadays. Kim Bassinger is superb and saves the film and really carries off well her insane obsession and infatuation with the Mick Rourke character. She is totally credible. Alas Micky Rourke is not and has only one facial expression throughout the entire movies i.e. a supercilious smirk. He just looks a smug and self satisfied b*****d throughout. Not the sensation I remember but watchable. 6/10

NINE SONGS

2004 A poor soft porn and not so soft porn drama. Said to be the most sexually explicit film ever put on general release. Based on a rock star performing 9 songs in concert with each performance interspersed with an explicit sexual encounter with his girl friend. But it is not erotic , and the characters are not developed, there is no story, and almost no script. Don't bother. 2/10

NO STRINGS ATTACHED

2011 RomCom. All American modern romantic comedy based on the friends with benefits scenario. Two busy twenty somethings attempt to maintain a purely physical relationship of convenience. Of course the inevitable happens in this predictable storyline but actually the acting is not bad, with a great performance by Natalie Portman, and the script is modern and credible. The end product is entertaining with a nice happy slushy ending. More a chick flick for a wet afternoon but better than average and definitely watchable. 6/10

NOCE BLANCHE

1989 Romantic Drama. Typical French film-slow and ponderous but not as watching paint dry as some French films. A well worn plot- a Lolita charms and induces obsession in a middle aged married man. You know it will end in tears. It is not if but when. Why are French supposed heart throbs always dodgy looking , and overweight with paunches? It does succeed as a convincing love story and is touching , all the time knowing that it is all doomed like watching Titanic. There is some mild nudity but no explicit sex and of course it is sub titles. It is watchable but this is no Fatal Attraction or An Education. 6/10

NOT HERE TO BE LOVED

2005. French with sub titles. Another French film that moves at a snail's pace and populated by repressed characters who cannot express their or show feelings. Two saddos meet at a Tango dance class, one of them supposed to be engaged. Almost nothing happens except the man's father dies. Like watching paint dry. So slow moving. I watched the second half twice in case I had fallen asleep the first time-but I hadn't! Fans of French films might be charitable and say it was a detailed observation of delicate nuances of relationships. Boring. 3/10

NOTEBOOK (THE)

2004 Romance. Ryan Gosling, Rachel McAdams set in 1940s and present day. This chick flick weepy deals with issues of dementia and a love affair between a couple from different social classes. Very well acted, and quite moving. Very watchable and thoroughly recommended. Only criticism is that it goes on for 10 mins too long and seems to have had an extra ending added which is super cheesy . 8/10

NOVO

2002 Erotic drama. French with sub-titles. Unusual film about a young man who has almost no memory retention and survives through making copious notes in a notebook. He does however enjoy a very active sex life , vividly recorded, with two very attractive women and every time is like the first time for him! The film starts weird enough but is watchable and entertaining. However as the film progresses it gets increasingly strange and surreal and incomprehensible as French films so often do. 4/10

NUDE NUNS WITH BIG GUNS

2010. Trashy black comedy drama . Who would watch a film with such a title?!! I watched this as a joke and a dare by a friend. This film delivers exactly what it says on the tin ie continuous naked nuns and more and more guns as the film progresses- so at least it's true to its title! You are going to have to be extremely flexible and broad minded to get through this. Clearly it is a blasphemous, irreverent tongue in cheek offering aimed at sending up the Catholic Church. Not much plot except that one of the abused nuns gets a message from God to go on a killing spree and obliterate all the gangsters and prostitutes in the local, small town, especially those who have been habitually raping the nuns. Prolific nudity and extremely graphic violence. A good pick for Christmas Day to watch with your family and granny. 3/10

OBSESSED (2009) Low budget erotic thriller . Temp attempts to seduce corporate executive with increasingly extreme tactics. A third rate Fatal Attraction. Reasonable acting by main players lifts the rating. 4/10

ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE MIDLANDS

2002 Very good British comedy drama about a love triangle , funny, but sinister, characters are all wacky but credible. Very watchable and recommended. 7/10

ONE DAY

2012 Anne Hathaway. Romantic drama about the lives of 2 university graduates who meet on their last day at Uni and become best friends and maintain an in off relationship throughout their lives. He turns out to be a frustrating commitment phobe who tantalizes her with possible long term devotion but continually lets her down causing her to waste her life on him. Sad and highly credible. Love story about taking ones chances in life when they arise, and playing your cards when they are dealt to you. And it is absolutely about not messing about with , and taking for granted, the people who love you and deserve better. A superb and excellent film. 9/10

ONE MORE KISS

1999 Drama that has a dodgy script and with wooden acting. The story is disjointed and implausible with an unsuccessful attempt to overlay a couple of themes. The soundtrack is also embarrassing. The heroine who is terminally ill returns to Scotland from New York to pick up with a now married old flame, and also rekindle her troubled relationship with her father. Overall the film is just about adequate and watchable but no more than that. It tries to be very moving but the film is just not convincing enough to make you care and ends up just being cheesy. 4/10

OUT OF TIME

2004 Erotic Thriller. Police Chief seduced by clever mistress. Great plot. A very good film. 7/10

PAINTED VEIL (THE)

2006 Romantic Drama set in the 1920s that ends in tragedy. This is a very good film with depth and substance. The main characters are developed, and the film is beautifully crafted , and superbly exploits the Chinese stunning scenery and landscapes. Edward Norton is superb as the enigmatic , repressed, intellectual, do gooding, save the world micro biologist. Naomi Watts is equally superb as his spoilt, philandering, young gorgeous, frustrated wife, who grows in stature and maturity throughout the story to come to love, admire and respect her husband. It is mostly well paced, although perhaps a little slow in the middle of the film. Recommended. 7/10

PAPRIKA

1989 Erotic farce / fantasy about a young country girl who goes to work in a brothel in Italy. The film charts her rapid rise through the ranks as she gathers fame and fortune. Much nudity throughout, but the film fails to be anything in particular as it is not that funny, and the acting is too awful, and the plot too silly, for it to be taken seriously as a drama or erotic. In the end it is boring and repetitive. Directed by the supposed maestro of erotica, Tinto Brass. Italian film with sub-titles. 3/10
PASSION AND PREJUDICE (2001) Erotic drama. Made for American TV movie about a repressed university professor who after a life time of dedicating herself to her work takes in a young black day release prisoner to work on her house . Gradually she succumbs to temptation and a steamy relationships ensues. She gradually becomes increasingly obsessed and possessive with disastrous results when the prisoner is released and forms a relationship with a new girl friend of his own age. A good story but let down by poor acting and a plot that stretches credibility. 4/10

PASSION OF AYN RAND (THE)

1999 Drama. Lesser known interesting love triangle drama based on true story of the famous philosopher Ayn Rand and her relationship with a young married couple who are both mesmerized and infatuated by her. The story in the beginning is set in 1949 but the story runs through to 1977. Helen Mirren stars in this as the philosopher and delivers a great performance as a selfish , controlling, uncompromising intellectual. The Mirren character pushes and cajoles the young couple into marriage that is not right for them for her own amusement . Watchable. 7/10

PEACE, LOVE, MISUNDERSTANDING

2012 Comedy drama. Divorcing mother takes her 2 teenage children to stay at her own hippie mother's house in Woodstock. The grandmother's character is like Barbra Streisand's in Meet The Fockers. Actually quite a sweet film, with both teenagers and the mother finding love and solace in one form or another. Various prejudices and attitudes are challenged. Watchable. 6/10

PERFECT ENDING (A)

2012 Romantic lesbian romantic drama about an uptight socialite who finds the love of her life in a high priced female escort. They fall in love and there is much 12 rated passion. It sounds preposterous and it is. Also the film is punctuated by slow , arty farty artistic indulgent imagery, and the dialogue is hard to decipher above the over loud invasive musical score. Absolutely not erotic. It was a struggle to make it through to the end. Mediocre. 3/10

PERFECT LIFE

2010 Erotic teen drama. I really tried with this film and for a while thought it was better than the other reviews give it credit for. But it starts mediocre and goes downhill from there. It gets increasingly weird so in the end you do not know what is really happening and what is dreamt or imagined. It should be a simple story about two friends who are competing for the love of the same woman but the film just gets totally surreal . In the end I think it turned out that the two main characters had been dead for most of the film but I would not swear to that. Sienna Guilloy is gorgeous and there is some exciting scenes of youth , sex and drugs culture but in the end it is just too confusing and weird. Give it a miss I say. 4/10

PLACE BEYOND THE PINES (THE)

2012 Drama. Touching and emotional intelligent thriller in which Ryan Gosling brilliantly stars as a motor cycle stunt rider who turns to crime in an attempt to raise the cash to win back his former lover. The plot unfolds to become a story with depth and messages about class, opportunity and chance. A superb social commentary in the Crash mould which features prejudice, corruption , and the drugs culture. A film of two halves in which one story leads to another eighteen years later. Great cast, acting, direction and sound track. I do not understand some of the negative reviews. This an excellent and highly under rated film. 9/10

PLAIN DIRTY

2001. Thriller. Set in an isolated remote poor community in the US. Strange tale of young girl with an abusive husband who has him murdered by her husband's simpleton assistant. Meanwhile she is having a fling with another man she believes to be her soul mate! The girls seems to become progressively dirtier and covered in mud throughout the film , and covered in blood and grazes. Just to make sure she is also speckled in blood from a goose she decapitated. Plain weird. 3/10

PLEASURE OR PAIN

2012 soft porn drama. Modern rendition of the well worn theme of dominant male who takes a young woman who is infatuated by him and leads her into a world of decadence and S & M. She only wants to be loved by him, but he on the other hand is only satisfied by abusing her and stretching her by subjecting her to a constant stream of sexual encounters well beyond her limits and comfort zone. It is actually better than most films of this genre and the acting is not such a disaster as is typical. Every bit as good as Fifty Shades if not better. It even has a real and significant ending when she can take no more and breaks. Much simulated gymnastics and nudity. Watchable if you like this sort of thing. 5/10

POET (THE) Erotic thriller. Awful film. Appallingly acted and rubbish script. Assassin supposedly falls for the sister of innocent young man that he has killed because he witnessed him killing the real target victim. The sister is the worst actress I have ever come across. Absolutely no idea why it is an 18. There is nothing erotic and no nudity. I gave up half way through. Rubbish! 2/10

POOR COW. British kitchen sink docudrama style which pre dates similarly themed Mike Leigh films. This was an attempt to bring the success of the TV game changer play Cathy Come Home to the big screen. In its day Poor Cow was shocking and ground breaking. Now sadly it appears very dated and poorly acted. Carol White as the lead really was not a great actress. The basic story is about a young promiscuous mother living in poverty with her husband in jail during the swinging 60s sexual revolution in London. The film tried to shock by portraying the new attitudes to sex. The film does not live up to its iconic reputation and by modern standards is watchable but only average. 5/10

POSSESSION (2002) love story drama. Underrated love story / period drama. Thoroughly recommend this. Gwyneth Paltrow is brilliant as ever. You get two parallel interleaved love story dramas, one in the present day, and one from the Victorian era (about a famous poet and his mistress) that the modern day characters are researching. Touching and pleasant drama although ultimately the period drama strand is a tragedy. Well acted by all. 8/10

POSSESSION (2009) Drama / thriller. A poor made for TV film with a totally ridiculous plot, poor script and weak acting. A freak car accident puts wife's husband and brother in law into comas. The brother in law wakes up first and thinks he is his brother-as does the wife! In a feat a human endurance I made it through to the end but strongly advise you not to bother. It is rubbish. 2/10

PRECIOUS. Shocking , hard hitting, story about an obese black American girl who is repeatedly raped by her father and has two children by him. Her mother treats her cruelly and as a slave. She is taken under the wing of her teacher and eventually and very slowly escapes the misery and cruelty of her home. The film is sobering and humbling , but has an annoying 'fly on the wall' reality show camera style. Also the dialogue is mumbled and often hard to decipher. 5/10

PRICELESS

. French film with sub titles. Enjoyable and very funny in parts RomCom yarn about hotel worker who forms a relationship with a girl who makes her living from sugar daddies. He also starts doing the same with rich middle aged women and they both them have lucrative side liaisons going on whilst they actually fall in love with each other. 6/10

PRIDE (2014)

Political Comedy. An entertaining film set against the back drop of the miners' strike in the 1980s.A group of homosexuals who are also challenging the police authorities and campaigning for rights and causes form an alliance with the miners in their parallel struggle. They call themselves the Lesbian and Gays support The Miners (LGSM). An uplifting film based on a true story .This is a very popular and highly rated feel good movie about the struggle for gay rights .My criticisms would be that it fails to develop the miner's struggle sufficiently and also that the film sort of peters out being unsure where to go with its momentum and ends up meandering a little. 7/10

PRINCESSES

(2005) Drama . Sad and touching film about friendship between two down beaten prostitutes trying to make it in a Spanish city in very tough circumstances. Well acted, bleak, and realistic . A good film and much better than most in this genre. It is a serious film without gratuitous sexual content and very watchable. Spanish film with sub titles. 6/10

PROPOSAL (THE)

2000 The Proposal. Thriller. Made for TV or straight to Video B movie with an entertaining plot. An undercover detective investigating a dangerous crime boss needs to introduce a 'wife' in order to attend social functions at the home of the baddie. He is unmarried in his private life and another very attractive police woman is found to work with him as his 'mate'. The inevitable happens and they are attracted to each other and things get very complicated and dangerous. This film is good in parts and some of the acting is pretty good. It is definitely watchable but the film tries for too many twists, some of which do not work, and the ending is rushed and unconvincing. 5/10

Q

2011 Erotic drama. French with sub-titles. This movie is very daring showing many non-simulated sex scenes, what is very rare in mainstream movies. Unusually the film shows actual penetration of various forms so graphic and explicit it certainly is. The plot revolves around the lives of some characters around Cecile, the main central protagonist in the drama, and how she changes their lives. Cecile is a desirable girl. She knows it and uses herself as a weapon. Even though she has a boyfriend she flirts and leads on every man she runs into. Once she has their attention and their sex drive on full she usually goes away leaving them frustrated with her panties or her phone number. But there is some plot and story in this and some limited character development all of which are rare in a soft porn full length film. Some scenes are certainly hot and arousing as you get to know the characters a little. But you need to concentrate on this film especially in the first half hour to keep up with who is who and get the most out of it. 6/10

REACHING FOR THE MOON. Lesbian romance based on true story about love affair between American bishop and Brazilian architect Lota de Macedo Soares (I had never heard of her either). Set in 1950s mainly in Brazil. The poet comes between an existing lesbian couple. The story tracks the stresses and strains between the 3 women Watchable. Average. 5/10

REBOUND (THE) RomCom about a 40 year old mother (Catherine Zeta Jones) who is divorcing her unfaithful husband and moves to New York. There she falls for her 25 year old male nanny , after he shows himself to be fantastic with her kids. I am not a Catherine Zeta Jones fan and never believe she is much of an actress I am afraid. This film is predictable, formulaic, cheesy and the script is poor. It is a watchable reasonably innocuous, chick flick but that is all. Not particularly funny either. 4/10

RED STATE. Thriller set in Middle America, a group of teens receive an online invitation to some MMMF sex, but instead they find themselves in captivity by some religious fundamentalists with a much more sinister agenda. Builds to an utterly ridiculous climax-a sort of serious straight version of the Hot Fuzz comedy . You just cannot take this film seriously. Weird 4/10

RETURN TO ME

Romance with unusual original heart wrenching plot. Amusing weepie. David Duchovny (X files). Millie Driver. Watchable and innocuous. Some comedy. 6/10

RICH MAN'S WIFE (THE) Erotic Thriller. Traditional 1990s erotic thriller fare, formulaic and predictable but watchable and enjoyable. Halle Berry is good in this as the abused wife but Clive Owen is as useless as ever and the film is the poorer for his inclusion in the cast. Overall adequate. 4/10

RIFF RAFF Comedy drama. Building site worker (Robert Carlyle) finds a handbag in a skip and returns it to its owner and forms a relationship with her (Emer McCourt). Story depicts a tough harsh life for all the cast in this down to earth , working class drama. The film is typical of the director, Ken Loach, (Cathy Come Home) . The girlfriend is a very needy insecure and desperate character who is constantly terrified of the relationship ending. A very good film but I did not find it a comedy- more a serious drama making some left wing political points. A lot of the dialogue is hard to decipher. 7/10

ROGUE RIVER horror / thriller . Has similarities to Wolf Creek. If you liked that you will like this. It is a good bread and butter horror / thriller. Absolutely not for the squeamish or easily shocked . Don't watch it unless you have a strong stomach for torture and violence. Has a climax scene that will offend some. Definitely watchable if you like this sort of thing. 6/10

SAFE HAVEN Romantic drama. Innocuous and harmless average romantic drama. More of a chick flick really. Young girl flees violent Boston cop partner and escapes to a small seaside town- Southport in North Carolina. Actually Southport was the star of this film for me and looked so nice I want to visit! Anyway back to the film, the girl falls in love with a handsome widower with the usual two adorable children. Eventually, predictably, the rogue cop ex partner finds her and attempts to upset the apple cart. Predictable, soppy, and sweet watchable film for a rainy afternoon. Spoilt a little by an unbelievably cheesy cringe making twist at the end. 5/10

SATURDAY NIGHT AND SUNDAY MORNING kitchen sink classic. Worth watching as a rare view of life at the end of the 1950s in an industrial city in the Midlands (Nottingham), and a window on how people and families behaved towards each other. Life was grey and hard in those days and the black and white seems to emphasise this aspect. Also a portrayal of how stilted and awkward relationships were between the sexes. A bit like A kind of Loving really. Not a lot happens by modern taste -like a modern Mike Leigh film, and the film fizzles out without any real ending or conclusion . But the film is watchable and compelling as a window on life over 50 years ago . 7/10

SAY NOTHING

2001. Erotic Thriller. Low budget US probably made for TV love triangle formulaic film . A sort of second rate Fatal Attraction. A handsome rich business man seduces a married woman for a one night stand, which comes home to haunt her when unbeknown to her, he then hires her husband. Usual power plays follow and it ends in tears. The Boss drives a wedge between the couple, and manipulates them in order to win the wife. Dodgy acting but just about watchable. 4/10

SCANDAL

(1989) Drama. A fictionalised account of the infamous 1963 Profumo scandal that rocked the British Conservative government. An affair between the married Minister of War and a society good time girl was revealed to the press and all hell broke loose. The bigger issue was the girl was also having a relationship with a Russian spy at the same time thus in theory creating a security risk. However this film concentrates on the life of Stephen Ward , a high society socialite and fixer, who worked as an osteopath, who for amusement collected a small team of attractive racy young women friends and used them to gain entry to and tempt his high society network of friends. One of these girls, Christine Keeler became the girl at the centre of the scandal. The film is intriguing and watchable but fails to delve deeply enough into Ward's motives, and also into the feelings of the two most famous recruits, Keeler and her friend Mandy Rice Davies. The versions available for rent and purchase on DVD are sadly heavily censored with chunks cut out. John Hurt stars and is excellent as the seedy but loveable rogue Ward. 6/10

SEA OF LOVE

1989 Thriller. Al Pacino is great as veteran cop in a good erotic thriller. Good cast. Good watchable thriller. Plot keeps you guessing 6/10

SECRET (THE)

2007. Also know as Un Secret. WW2 drama . French film with subtitles. A touching, sad emotional story about a boy who as he grows up after the second world war gradually uncovers some very difficult truths about his Jewish parents who had lived through and survived living in Nazi-occupied France. A great story of passion and love superbly acted by an excellent cast and which is surprisingly very good for a French film, and an underrated relatively unknown offering. 8/10

SECRETARY

2002 If there was ever a film that shows that one mans's meat is another's poison this is it. Oh how taste differs! This is a low budget soft porn story about a masochist submissive girl and a dominant OCD boss. I thought I would be the only person who ever got to the end of this movie before I was shocked to see the rave reviews. It is neither erotic or funny or credible. It is nothing other than ridiculous. Complete rubbish. Don't bother. 3/10

SEDUCTION OF JOE TYNAN (THE)

1979 Drama. Very early Meryl Streep film about corruption and affair of up and coming ambitious young American senator. Very underrated film. I like it but many will find it very dated. 8/10

SESSIONS (THE)

2012 Drama. A very brave film that tackles an extremely delicate subject. A paralysed lifelong victim of polio who is a virgin embarks on a course of sex therapy with a professional sexual surrogate therapist brilliantly played by Helen Hunt. The film successfully navigates the tight rope of good taste and delivers a serious , credible, and touching emotional drama about his sexual awakening. The film also manages to be appropriately amusing again always in good taste. This is an uplifting film based on a real man in the USA that tackles a taboo subject with absolute dignity. 8/10

SEX AND LUCIA

2001. Spanish film with sub titles. Very explicit. Good in parts but the plot is very difficult to follow and is about an author writing about another author (himself) and his sex life. A lot of the time you do not know whether what is happening is the story or in the book he is writing. 4/10

SEX TRAFFIC

2006 Gritty drama. Story of two young Mouldovan sisters kidnapped and trafficked through eastern Europe to London Very realistic, thought provoking and scary . 7/10

SEXUAL MALICE

1994. Low budget erotic thriller. Very amateurish. Poorly acted and laughable script. University professor frames his wife for the murder of her lover. Awful. 3/10

SHAME

2011 Drama. Carey Mulligan. A brave film that addresses the difficult subjects of sex obsession and addiction to pornography in an modern American culture where anything goes. It is actually more tragic than I was expecting and packs a hard message that ultimately free sex and promiscuity makes for an empty, hollow , unhappy and lonely life. Shame is worse than that though because this totally selfish , self obsessed character is also totally unable to give love and support even to his sister when she reaches out to and needs him. And when a chance does come along and a bubbly attractive girl comes along who genuinely reaches out and is attracted to the main character he again is unable to respond with anything being emotionally bankrupt and dead inside. As I say it is much harder hitting than I was expecting and is a comment of modern free and easy sexual behaviour and self obsession. Carey Mulligan is superb. Warning -Contains much nudity and sex. 7/10

SHAPE OF THINGS (THE)

2003 Romantic Drama. A strange and unusual film. Had to watch it twice and I did get it the second time. It is supposed to be about superficiality and vanity and appearances, and delusion. But in the end I think it is just about mental cruelty and exploitation in a relationship. Super seductive and attractive Rachel Weisz play an alluring young artist who turns out to be a super opinionated manipulative heartless control freak. She is as superb as ever in this role. Her victim is thoroughly nice and innocent guy Adam played also very well by Paul Rudd. Absolutely massive twist in the finale which explains all that has gone before. This film will not be for everybody but it is definitely watchable. It is not about what you think it is and in the end even the viewer is misled by the Weisz character! 8/10
SHATTERED TRUST

1993 Family Drama. Low budget US made for TV drama about child abuse and incest set in the 1980s. Young female attorney who prosecutes such cases has a breakdown and whose life falls apart discovers she was abused herself as a baby. Based on a true story where case law changed the law. Watchable but long and dubious acting. Worth it for the big hair and even bigger shoulder pads. 4/10

SHE SAID NO

1990 Drama. Routine low budget made for TV date rape drama based on a true story. In this version the rapist is a respected lawyer himself an is incorrectly found not guilty. The twist is that the accused then sues the victim for defamation of character thus further destroying her and her life. Watchable but mechanical and going through the motions.4/10

SHE'S GONE

2004 Drama. Only for Ray Winstone fans . Winstone is in every scene of this film and plays a father whose daughter goes missing in Istanbul. He travels there to try to find her and discovers some personal truths about his beloved girl that he struggles to come to terms with. It transpires that she has been working as a night club dancer and may have been abducted by one of the punters. His wife eventually joins him in the search in Turkey but I am not sure we are ever totally certain what has happened to her and the ending is weak. Good in parts and watchable but only average. 5/10

SHELTERING SKY (THE)

1990 Debra Winger, John Malkovich. Two American young men and one of their wives go travelling in north Africa. They go deeper and deeper into the unfamiliar. The husband gets sick and dies. The wife goes native and goes off on safari in the desert with a tribe and spends a period as a willing captive locked up satisfying the local Arabs! Weird and bizarre. 5/10

SILENT LIGHT

2007 Another arty farty French film made for the Cannes film festival shot in Mexico. Sub titles but I never worked out what the spoken language was! Father with 6 children is having affair with local woman. The slowest pointlessly long (over 2 hours) film I have ever had the misfortune to watch. There are numerous very long scenes in which there is no activity whatsoever. Film start with 20 minute slow motion sun rise! Actually more boring than watching paint dry. Lots of people on the internet love it! Rubbish! 1/10

SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK

2012 Romcom with some depth which deals with a relationship between two people (played by Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Tucker) struggling to recover from mental illness. The story is based on the couple building an unlikely relationship through working together to enter a dance competition. An unusual film which is hard to get into, but grows on you, and gets better as it progresses. In the end it is well acted, and a very good moving film with depth. 7/10

SINGER (THE)

2006. French pretentious romance with sub-titles . Ageing love story crooner falls for young beautiful single mother. Slowly explores their relationship and what they share and give to each other. Typical slow moving French film that could be half the length. 4/10

SINGLE MAN (A)

2009. Drama about a gay college professor in the US, brilliantly played by Colin Firth, who loses his partner of 16 years. Eight years on, he has never stopped grieving. This film contains many flashbacks but essentially covers a 24 hour period in the life of the professor during which he spends an evening with his long term best friend, an alcoholic woman with whom he has a very close but platonic relationship, and later a gay experience with one of his students. Very well acted and sensitively handled and ultimately sad film. 8/10

SIRENS

1994 Drama. Puritanical young clergyman (Hugh Grant) and his wife Estella take a posting in Australia and on his first assignment he goes to stay with a free spirit bohemian artist (Sam Neil) and his family in the outback. The artist spends every day painting the nude models who live in with him . Basically anything goes in his enlightened progressive world and his relaxed attitudes to sexuality shock and test the prudish clergy and his wife. Sexual tension gradually rises testing Estella's repressed sexuality and in the end she cannot help but get seduced into joining in the shenanigans and thereby putting her relationship with her husband under strain. I like this film and find it intriguing, entertaining and well acted. Contains a fair amount of nudity. 7/10

SLEEPING BEAUTY

2011 Drama. A strange and bizarre mildly erotic Australian film about a young impoverished student (Emily Browning) who makes an income from sleeping with sad old men. However it is different from the run of the mill soft porn in that she is always drugged and comatosed at the time and no actual sex is permitted or desired by the clients! Most watchers do not like this film as you can see from the other reviews but I actually liked it more than most. It is a bit different from the usual soft porn predictable fare and Emily Browning is excellent and makes the film. Also for you buffs it is much better than the similarly themed Japanese film-The Bedroom. The ending though is a little disappointing and a bit surreal. It needs some interpretation I think. It may be symbolic. Maybe means she has been asleep all the way through her life and has suddenly woken up? See what you think. 6/10

SLEEPING DICTIONARY (THE)

2003. Love story about English Colonial governor who falls in love with Malayan girl who was teaching him the language. I really enjoyed it. Nice pace to it with some twists and turns. Very Good. 7/10

SLIVER

1993 Erotic thriller , Typical Sharon Stone fare. Pervy voyeur in block of flats murdering the owners! Great soundtrack. Plenty of nudity and sex as you would expect. 5/10

SOMETHINGS GOTTA GIVE

2003 RomCom. This film has everything. Amazing cast, great script, good plot, funny, touching , highly entertaining, fun, and memorable. Simply a top drawer film . Jack Nicholson excels as the loveable womanising rake lothario charmer who turns out to have hidden depths and whose heart is ultimately captured. Diane Keaton is superb as his uptight very single skeptical target. Superb cast, excellent script, very enjoyable, and amusing, and pleasant love story. Simply a great RomCom film.10/10

SONS & LOVERS

2003 period drama. DH Lawrence. Have finally finished the whole loooong 191 minutes. I would have preferred it if it had been half the length. The sets, costumes, scenery and photography are a good representation of the period but the story is dour and grim and just not enjoyable to watch. I found the acting stilted and wooden and find it hard to believe that any man could be quite as unfeeling, hard and insensitive with his women. Hard going and tragic throughout and I deserve congratulations for actually getting through it. 5/10

SPREAD

2009 Romantic drama. This film is better than many of the reviews suggest. It is unusual in that it actually gets better as it progresses. A vacuous womanising waster whose only merit is his cute looks but that is enough to enable him to drift from one wealthy woman to another as a gigolo. A depressing portrayal of a LA society that is totally decadent and hedonistic without any love or morality. Ashton Kutcher is totally credible but I never knew whether he was just playing himself. The ending is a surprise but ironically on reflection also probably the most credible ending. This film has more depth and the acting is better than many in this genre and is watchable. 6/10

STEALING BEAUTY

1995 mildly erotic romantic drama. Based around an open house in Tuscany where a huge extended family seem to hang around doing very little for an entire summer. Ponderous, arty farty, pretentious and slow. The film seems to go on forever. Only redeeming features are the beautiful Tuscany scenery and excellent photography and a stunning early performance by Liv Tyler. I wouldn't bother with this unless you are an avid Rachel Weisz or Liv Tyler fan. It is just toooooooo slow 5/10

STORY OF US (THE)

1999 Michelle Pfeiffer, Bruce Willis, Excellent romantic drama about the stresses of a mature marriage, in difficulties, a trial separation, and the dialogue of husband and wife who want to make it work but fear that cannot and that it is over. This is a highly underrated film. 8/10

STRAYED

2003

French film with sub-titles. France 1940. Following the German assault on Paris a beautiful widow and her 2 children try to escape in a convoy of refugees which is later attacked by a German plane. They survive but many in the convoy do not and their car is destroyed and they flee to take shelter in a remote country house having been joined by a mysterious resourceful 17 year old boy. The three of them all form different relationships with the 17 year old culminating in some desperate physical comfort between the widow and the boy against the backdrop of the unfolding horror. Sad and poignant. 7/10

STRIPPERS VS WEREWOLVES

2012 Comic Horror. Embarrassingly bad in every way possible. No redeeming features. I managed only 5 minutes. Absolute garbage. Some reviewers say it is so bad it is good ie funny. Not me. 1/10

STUDENT SERVICES 2010Erotic Drama. French film with sub titles which purports to draw attention to the scandal of 40,000 young girls in France, most of them students, who work occasionally in the sexual services industry to make ends meet. This film tells the story of Laura, who in desperate financial straits, embarks on meeting men for sexual encounters. It depicts Laura struggling to stop and escape her plight right from the outset. But the film also contains much nudity and explicit sex and in truth is more soft porn than a serious docudrama. 3/10

SUITE FRANCAIS

2014 WWII romantic drama. A good film but not a great film. Michelle Williams stars as a lonely young married woman in 1940 France recently occupied by the Nazis whose husband is away fighting. This film tackles the sensitive subject of relationships and affairs with occupying German soldiers and how the soldiers themselves are just ordinary young men. Her dominating and overbearing mother in law is well played by Kristin Scott Thomas. The Williams character falls for a sensitive intelligent German office but the affair is obviously doomed from the start. The film is watchable but somehow lacks ooomph and could have been more moving. I liked it but some will find it a bit slow, and lacking in story, and uneventful. 7/10

SWEARING ALLEGIANCE. 1997 Crime Drama. Made for TV drama based on real events. A young engaged couple murder a girl from their high school when the guy is unfaithful with her. The couple are set for illustrious careers in the military until their dreadful secret is revealed. How did it take them so long to identify the killers you will wonder? 4/10

SWEET NOVEMBER. Romantic Drama. Oh dear! The ultimate chick flick rainy afternoon girlie cheesy weepie! All the usual stuff is in here. Highly formulaic and completely preposterous plot. Boy meets girl, girl gets sick, boy loses girl, adorable woofers , etc etc. It's as original as a McDonald's burger. But the two lead characters (Keanu Reeves and Charlize Theron) are likeable and attractive and the overall result is a watchable, innocuous, pleasant movie. Like nodding off to sleep in a warm bath - on your own. 4/10

SWEPT AWAY

2002 drama. A story a little reminiscent of Overboard in which a spoilt insufferable super rich super bitch drives the crew mad on a luxury cruise in the Mediterranean. The super bitch is played by Madonna and becomes a castaway on an uninhabited island with just the first mate, a young fit man who had been her main adversary. The first mate turns out to be resourceful, and capable, and practical and now that roles are reversed now holds all the power. He enables them to survive and eventually they become an unlikely pair. Finally they are rescued but neither wants to go back to their previous lives. There is a twist at the end. The film is not quite as bad as the critics and reviews say about this much panned effort. But the truth is Madonna cannot act. Watchable but only just. 3/10

SWERVE

2011 Thriller. Australian average low budget thriller set in the remote outback. Dated 1990s style slightly steamy thriller that promises a lot at the beginning but disappoints. A lone driver witnesses a fatal car accident in the middle of nowhere and finds a suitcase full of money at the scene. He hands the money in to a local corrupt police officer, but then gets sucked into a series of resulting events and gets seduced by the police officer's seductive temptress wife. You do not know who to trust and the film has a lot of potential and is definitely watchable but the plot stretches credibility to the limit and the ending contains an unconvincing twist. 5/10

TAKE THIS WALTZ

2011 Romantic Drama. Michelle Williams is stunning in this Canadian film as the lead role and makes the film. A young married woman reluctantly falls for a neighbour after a chance meeting and a touching and credible affair ensues. The script and acting are superb and the end product is a highly convincing and very moving romance which is destined to end -well you actually cannot predict the end of this one. There are lessons in this film of the kind 'the grass is greener', and ' be careful what you wish for'. It is as good as Falling In Love and a very under rated picture. Highly recommended but it is painful to watch. 7/10

TAMARA DREWE

2010. Seductress returns to a small village dominated by a famous womanising author. She creates mayhem with three suitors. Author's wife (Tamsin Greig) is excellent. A good yarn and a bit of a comedy. 7/10

TESTAMENT OF YOUTH

2015 WW1 drama. Love story between an intelligent Oxford undergrad girl (Brittain) who has struggled for independence and education and her fiancé who enlists and goes to fight in the trenches in France. Brittain feels compelled to give up on Oxford during the war and trains to work as a nurse in army hospitals, facing the horrendous reality of warfare first hand. A deep, dark, serious and moving study of the madness of war, mindless patriotism and young love. A truly outstanding and authentic film, based on Brittain's autobiography. She went on to become an inspiration for her generation and the next, championing the cause of women and was the mother of Shirley Williams. 10/10

THINGS BEHIND THE SUN

2001 Drama about an up and coming talented young female singer who habitually gets drunk and engages in promiscuity to try to deaden the pain of a horrendous incident when she was only 14 when she was gang raped. However, it becomes apparent that her recollections of exactly what did happen to her are fuzzy and unclear. A music journalist who knew her at the time decides to write an article about her and gets to know her again and helps her to remember in clearer detail exactly what did happen to her and enable her to escape her demons. Good well acted film with excellent music but the ending is weak and a disappointment.. 6/10

THIRTEEN

2002. Shocking teen movie about extreme teenage rebellion. To be accepted and shock these skinny rich Californian girls launch into flirting, drugs and thieving. They gather more and more outrageous piercings and tattoos. Be glad they are not your daughters. The dialogue is often hard to decipher . Ends on a high with the unconditional love and unending support of a Mum when her daughter's life implodes. 6/10

THREESOME

(2009) Erotic teen flick comedy about 2 boys and a girl who come together by mistake to share a flat in university halls. It is a coming of age movie in which each of the three is discovering their sexuality. A complicated set of arrangements evolve in which they all find love and lust with each other in their own way. This is a love triangle literally! One of the boys thinks he is gay and fancies the second boy, who fancies the girl, who fancies the first boy!. Well you can't say it's not different. Yes, I know it sounds awful, but it isn't actually. The acting is reasonably credible and in the end the closeness of the three is quite touching. The film gets better as it progresses and the story of human relationships becomes deeper. In the end they all find their chosen way. Unusual and original plot. 6/10

TOUGH GUYS DON'T DANCE

1987. Good erotic thriller. I liked the characters and plot. A lesser known and underrated film. 6/10

TRADE

(2006) Spanish (Mexican) with sub titles. Hard hitting violent dramatization of the trafficking of young girls from Mexico who are then sold into the USA often through internet auctions. Very brutal, gritty and harrowing tale . 6/10

TRAINWRECK

2015 RomCom. A good watchable romantic comedy with a great performance by Amy Schumer. A journalist for a men's magazine writing an article on sporting stars falls into a relationship with a sports doctor. It proves a big adjustment for her as a commitment-phobic career woman used to superficial one night stands with hulks. It is an enjoyable watch, but very predictable and formulaic. I found the magazine editor character ridiculous and not at all funny. 6/10

TRANCE

(2013) Overrated and pretentious psychological thriller drama. The hype has been deafening mainly as the result of Danny Boyle being the director. Yes there are some innovative use of hard rock and heavy beat to build suspense rather like being back in the Olympics opening ceremony. But beyond that the film contains a lot of gratuitous violence and nudity much of which is just to shock . And the plot gets increasingly surreal and confusing and jumbled such that for much of the time you are deliberately prevented from knowing whether what you are watching is actually happening or is imagined through being in a trance under hypnosis. Confusing the viewer does not make a mediocre film more sophisticated. I agree with the comment that film is not as good as it thinks it is! 4/10

TWENTY NINE PALMS

2005Erotic romantic drama/ thriller. Well this film is certainly different and will not appeal to most. It is French with sub titles and follows the traditional style of being very slow and arty farty and pretentious. Yes the scenery is beautiful and stunning, and a microscope is targeted at a young couple whose relationship is filmed almost in real time in every detail. The young couple are driving around the Californian desert struggling with an intense relationship. There sound track is unusual in that there is no music, and a constant background of traffic, wind, sirens, and anything else to give the film that arty reality feel. There is a great deal of nudity, and explicit sex in between many violent arguments as their relationship turns sour. What you think is a gentle love affairs ends in some shocking violence from an unexpected source. There was a film called Zabrieski Point made in the 1960s that was quite similar in many ways. Do not watch this if you are easily shocked, and be warned the ending includes a violent rape scene. 5/10

TWISTED

2004 Erotic thriller. Not a bad thriller although a well worn plot line. I liked it more than most reviewers because the sexy lead character female man eating police inspector (Ashley Judd) gave it a new angle. The plot keeps you guessing and the photography of San Francisco is stunning. If you like this genre do not ignore this one. 7/10

TWO MINUTES LATER

2007 Gay / Lesbian erotic thriller. I did make it to the end one night but I would not recommend you do. A lesbian hard nosed private detective teams up with the twin brother of a murdered famous gay photographer to investigate his disappearance. Low budget amateurish made for TV feel with gratuitous nudity make this a very mediocre movie. The female lead is however an appealing entertaining character which lifts the rating. So ridiculous that it is funny in parts e.g. the young private detective in a very tight short sexy backless dress and high heels chasing the murderer through a forest in the dark firing an endless supply of bullets from her revolver. 3/10
TWO MOON JUNCTION

1988 Soft porn drama about a rich ex prom queen, the daughter of a senator, who dumps her fiancé at her wedding and takes off with good looking hunk from a travelling fair with whom she has been having a steamy affair. Terrible acting, appalling script and embarrassingly bad. Lots of nudity. Rubbish. 2/10

TWO MOTHERS

2013 Lesbian drama. German film with sub-titles. Take care as there is an Australian-French film of the same name and also released in 2013 but starring Naomi Watts. A close up and serious attempt to depict the trials and strains on a lesbian couple who try to battle through the legal and medical processes to have a baby. Their physical relationship in given frequent and explicit exposure. The movie stars Karina Plachetka as Isabella Bürgelin and Sabine Wolf as Katja Maria Maisch. Isabella and Katia are a loving lesbian couple who want to conceive a baby. Artificial insemination is a standard practice in Germany, but not for same-sex couples.

The pair meet numerous obstacles-both legal and financial-in the Catch-22 world of German medical politics. They also meet some potential sperm donors, who all say they are motivated by altruism. However, altruism is obviously pretty far down the list for most of these men.

Not being able to conceive a child is a problem in itself. But it's also a dividing force that acts to separate the two women. For example, they were seemingly happy with one partner being the main provider, and the other just doing casual work. However, that becomes an issue when financial stability enters the picture. The film has an interesting, albeit somewhat unsettling, ending, when several of these strands come together. 5/10

UNDERCOVER

1994 Erotic thriller. It is just another poor quality soft porn erotic thriller with appalling acting and script, and it is neither thrilling or erotic. The continuity is very dodgy as the victim is said to have been shot half the time, and strangled half the time by the police! The continuous wooden sex simulations scenes are just boring and you will F/f through them. 3/10

UNLAWFUL ENTRY

1992 Low budget erotic thriller about bent obsessed US police officer. Adequate watchable film. Done in the classic early 90s style. 4/10

UNTAMED HEART

1993 Romantic Drama. Romantic mushy weepie about a young waitress who does not seem to have much luck with men but then starts relationship with mysterious but virtually mute boy who actually works in her diner and who one night saves her from being raped. It's an innocuous fairly routine teenage romance but tragedy is never far away. Average .5/10

UP AT THE VILLA

2000A period thriller / romantic drama set in the period just preceding the outbreak of war in Europe in 1939 Florence. It is an elegantly presented tangled love story and thriller that takes place over only 2 or 3 days but a lot happens (contrary to some of the other reviews). Kristin Scott Thomas is excellent as usual and lifts the rating of the film. Her character is impoverished but hankers after retaining the high life but at the same time looking for love. I felt this story was credibly done and the characters were developed and I enjoyed it. Nothing to do with football -Aston Villa! 7/10

VIOLETAS

2013 Lesbian romantic drama. Spanish with sub titles but I believe the film is Argentinean. Six short stories, or scenes really, portraying how different lesbian couples initially met and seduced each other. It is an attempt to make an honest film about the subtleties of romance and attraction between girls, and where in some of the cases one of the girls had considered herself straight. The girls are all gorgeous. There is some undressing and caressing but it is all very slow and tame and the best you could describe the film as is touching and cute. But the fact that none of the relationships is developed as you only ever see the beginnings becomes frustrating and frankly repetitious. 3/10

VOW (THE)

2012. Romantic drama . Based on a true story wife has an accident, loses memory, and cannot remember her husband. A good watchable bread and butter film but not a great film and many of the gushing reviews are over the top. 6/10

VOYEUR (THE)

1993. Supposedly erotic film but it is laughable in its snail like pace and pretentiousness. Plenty of nudity but completely uninteresting. Beyond words really. Awful acting. Painful. 1/10

WATER DROPS ON BURNING ROCKS

2000 Strange drama about a middle aged bisexual man who attracts a teenage boy to live with him. The relationship starts off as idyllic but gradually deteriorates as they argue over domestic trivia. Things get much more complicated when both men's former female partners also turn up. This is a French film with sub-titles set in 1970s Germany. It is produced in the style of a stage play. It begins as a serious drama and a study of a gay relationship but then suddenly in the final third of the film it decides to become a comedy and a stage farce. All in all, weird but watchable. Average 5/10

WE'LL TAKE MANHATTAN

2012 drama based on the real life story of photographer David bailey and his girlfriend Jean Shrimpton in the early 1960s. This BBC 4 TV movie depicts their romance and also Baileys's innovative mould breaking style, during a photo shoot in New York. Shrimpton is put on the map by Bailey and eventually became a super model. Watchable but the acting seems sometimes stiff and unrealistically over the top. 5/10

WHEN WILL I BE LOVED

2004 Erotic drama set in New York. A smart, classy and rich girl has a smooth talking hustler no good as her boyfriend. We know she is far too good for this wide boy con artist even before he sets up an Indecent Proposal style encounter for her , the difference being in this version that she is none the wiser and the rich old tycoon has to seduce her. Things then take an unpredictable turn and her boyfriend gets his come uppance. However the film is spoilt by too many disjointed scenes of rapid fire hip American lingo and even more by its horrendous unrelenting extra loud sound track drowning out the dialogue alternating between rap and a harpsichord. Mike Tyson turns up in one completely irrelevant scene for no apparent reason. 3/10

WHERE THE TRUTH LIES

2005 Colin Firth. A thriller with a mix of explicit sex, drugs, intrigues, murder, extortion, and betrayal but is somewhat stilted, and laboured, and fails to satisfy. An awkward pout pori omelette with the central theme of an attractive journalist investigating the fate of a young girl found dead in the hotel room of a once famous comedy duo. She becomes involved with both of them and plays them off against each other before discovering the truth. It is not as bad some of the reviews suggest. , It is just an average watchable film. 5/10

WHITE PALACE

1990 drama / love story. Susan Sarandon very convincing performance. Young executive widower falls in love with a working class burger sales woman 15 years his senior. Sensitive examination of the class divide and the pain of choosing between her and his friends and family. Can he ever not find her an embarrassment in his social circle? Uncomfortable to watch but worth it. 7/10

WILD THINGS

1998 Thriller drama. Mildly erotic thriller about a young high school counselor who embarks on a complex plot of deception involving two attractive students and one of their rich mothers with the aim of extracting large damages from the mother. An extremely farfetched convoluted plot which moves at break neck speed and has more twists than a roller coaster but is unconvincing. Was surprisingly successful at the box office, possibly because at the time it was considered mildly racy. But it seems highly contrived and the overall result is just average.5/10

WILD ORCHID

1990. Disappointing erotic drama fantasy. This is no nine and a half weeks. Mickey Rourke spends the entire film as the usual enigmatic character with the permanent stupid self satisfied smirk which is supposed to be sexy. Was considered soft porn once but nothing too racy now. A newly qualified lawyer goes on a business trip in Rio which turns out to be her sexual awakening. Meanwhile there is a loud carnival going on throughout the entire film! It is watchable but only just. 5/10

WOLF CREEK

2005 Australian horror based on a true story of a sadist who tortures and murders 3 young travelers (2G and 1B). Very graphic and gory. Watchable adequate horror film. Bet you can't watch it all! 4/10

WOMAN SCORNED (A)

1994

Erotic thriller. Made during the golden age for this genre, ie the early 1990's. This is a low budget, TV movie style attempt, but it still retains all the hallmarks of that period. The acting is not brilliant but the plot is great and makes up for the other shortcomings. It is only adequate at best but I actually quite enjoyed it and it is definitely watchable. A widow infiltrates the family and lives of her deceased husband's boss who drove him to suicide. Touches of Fatal Attraction about it.4/10

WRESTLER (THE)

2008. Drama. Mickey Rourke stars in this very good film as a semi retired ageing professional wrestler. The film is made by Rourke who appears in every scene like a one man show. it is a sad and poignant story with the Rourke character as a bit of a pathetic loner has been who knows no other life. He struggles to build a modest relationship with a lap dancer and repair his nonexistent relationship with his estranged daughter. Very credible and dark and moving. 7/10

XXY

2008 Argentinian film with sub-titles. Unusual touching story about a troubled young girl born with a rare deformity of having mutations of both genders' genitalia (hermaphrodite). The tale tells of her obviously troubled relationships and the attempts of her parents to consult a renowned surgeon who may be able to operate. But the girl is unable to choose what she wants to be and the ending is inconclusive. A brave, gentle, sensitive, haunting watchable film but with a weak open-ended ending. 6/10

YOU CAN COUNT ON ME

2000 Family drama. Story about a divorced single orphaned mother and her loving but troubled relationship with her unreliable wandering brother. Gradually the brother becomes a surrogate father to her 8 year old son but this is fraught with problems, and in addition the mother embarks on an unlikely affair with her nerdy boss at the small town bank where she works. Watchable average drama which fails to excite.5/10

YOUNG ADAM

2002 Romantic drama. Ewen McGregor, Tilda Swinton, This is a dark, depressing , bleak story about people who scratch out a living working a barge in Scotland. They escape their dreary lives through frequent loveless sex. McGregor plays a commitment phobe character devoid of any morals who manages to wreck the lives of not one woman but two. Have I put you off? I hope not because it is a gritty haunting film that draws you in and does grow on you. I watched it twice! But be warned this film contains a lot of sex and nudity although it is not gratuitous. Definitely worth a watch. 7/10

ZANDALEE

1991 Nicolas Cage as a lothario rake who seduces his best friend wife. Best friend eventually commits suicide, and affair ends in tears. Cage (in his character) is bad news. Ridiculous script, rubbish score, and implausible plot. 3/10

ZEBRA LOUNGE

2001 Low budget straight to DVD type erotic thriller. Couple tries swinging with another couple who become a nightmare in their lives with disastrous consequences. Touch of Fatal Attraction but not in the same class and not credible. 4/10