Whilst reading a popular mens magazine, you notice a full page advertisement offering the chance to date the popstar Cheryl Cole. Although seriously doubting winning the competition, you figure that it's at least worth a shot. Hey, you may even win the runners-up prize; a signed copy of her latest solo album, which will probably earn quite a bit of cash off eBay because god forbid you're going to listen to the damn thing. A few months later you receive a phone call...

"Hello"

"Hi this is Lads Mag Weekly and we want to congratulate you on winning a night out with Cheryl Cole"

"Really? Shit what are the chances?

"Well over a million guys entered the competition, you were originally the runner up but the first winner turned out to be a registered sex offender"

"Wow lucky me"

"Anyway we'll be sending a limo to pick you up at 7pm tonight so be ready"

"Alright thanks"

As you hang up the phone, you notice you already have an aching erection.