12. Apart

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A/N: This chapter is written a little differently -- in more of a timeline scenario. The two weeks are kept track of in a sort of diary format, in different POVs, so I hope you enjoy this different styled chapter!

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Day 1 -- Monday: Harry in Seattle

Getting on the plane to Seattle was one of the hardest things Harry had found he'd ever had to do. The second he'd sent the text to Charley, he'd switched his phone off and slipped it into his checked baggage so he wouldn't be tempted to check it or call her. But it didn't stop his mind from whirling. Had she already listened to it? Was she awake? If she had listened to it, what did she think? Was she freaking out? Was she already pulling away from him? It made him almost frantic, and he was glad he wasn't flying private this time -- despite being in First Class, the hum of passengers and constant movement helped to distract him.


By the time he stepped into the car waiting for him in Seattle, he knew she would have listened to the song. He couldn't think of anything else, and he was starting to regret his rash idea. How was he supposed to focus on writing songs and finishing his album, when his heart and mind were all back in LA with a feisty latino beauty.

"So you want to head right to the house?" Mitch had met him at the gate and was in the back seat with him. Harry smiled, trying to switch his attention to his friend.

"Yeah, let's go right there and get into it," he smiled, hoping that if he could focus on his work as soon as possible, he would be able to stop thinking about Charley.

The drive out of the city to the house where the studio was set up was an hour long, and he chatted with Mitch comfortably about his wife and new child. Harry was grateful that all Mitch seemed to want to do is talk about his daughter Maisie -- parents could always seem to find a million things to discuss. He encouraged him to tell him everything, asking to see photos and being genuinely happy for his friend.

The rest of the team was already at the house, and when he arrived, Harry was jovially greeted, pulled into the house for an early lunch and drinks. The property itself was beautiful -- very secluded, huge gardens, no neighbours for miles. When his manager had suggested it, he'd leapt at it, feeling like it was a place he could write, sing, play, walk and relax. Now, though, it just felt like the furthest place away from the woman he loved that he could get.

***

Day 6 -- Saturday: Harry in Seattle

The first few days went by slowly as they all settled into the routine of polishing songs, producing the tracks, replacing lines and sometimes whole verses. Harry threw himself into it, trying to distract himself from thinking about Charley. He'd been tempted the first night to just call her, breaking the pact of being unplugged, but as soon as he'd switched his phone on, he realised they hadn't had any service out here anyway. The overwhelming feeling of disappointment after the initial rush of excitement had just given him more reason to dive wholly into his music.

It was day six when Harry's manager arrived unexpectedly at the house.

"Jeff," Harry said, frowning as he came to greet his friend. "Everything okay?"

"Everything's fine, sorry for worrying you, I know I shouldn't be here," Jeff replied, shaking Harry's hand with a smile. "I'm actually here because an opportunity has come up that I don't think you should turn down, and it requires you to take a meeting in Seattle tomorrow night."

Harry frowned more deeply. "But the whole reason of me being out here is so we're not interrupted. Heading into Seattle for the night would completely negate that," he said slowly. This must be a big deal, if Jeff is out here, trying to get me to meet with someone.

"I know, I know," his manager said, brushing the comment off. "But I think you'll want to meet with this person. It's Stevie Nicks. She wants to meet you."

Harry was blown away. His idol. "Stevie Nicks wants to meet me?"

"Yes, she's here in Seattle and I don't know how she found out you were here, but she asked if you would meet her for dinner. I know how much you love her, so I thought you wouldn't mind if I came out here to disturb you," Jeff said in a rush, a touch triumphantly. He looked very pleased with himself.

Harry's mind was reeling, his mind completely off Charley for the first time all week. "Of course I'll meet her for dinner. Blood hell. Are you sure? Stevie Nicks!"

Jeff laughed and clapped him on the back. "I'll tell her you said yes. Here's the details. I've got to go, but I'll book you and Mitch a nice hotel nearby under your usual travel names. You can come back first thing the morning after."

Harry could only nod as Mitch walked off to have a quick word with Mitch.

***

Day 7 -- Sunday: Harry in Seattle

As Harry accepted a last embrace from Stevie the next night, he felt completely high. He watched the motherly woman brush out of the classy restaurant, completely blown away. He'd just met with his idol, and she had professed how much she loved the two teaser songs he'd released, Two Ghosts and Girl Crush. She'd said she couldn't wait to hear more, and that she was proud of him for following this new sound. He'd opened up to her about how he wasn't sure if his fans would follow him down this road, but she'd told him confidently they'd follow him anywhere. He hoped she was right.

Turning, he suddenly heard his voice called out. "Harry?"

Blinking, Harry brought the woman's face into focus. "Kendall?"

"It is you!" the famous Kardashian sister laughed and rushed up to give him a hug. Harry hugged her reflexively back, and accepted her kiss of greeting on his cheek, kissing her briefly back, narrowly avoiding her lips on his. "What are you doing here?" Kendall Jenner laughed and looked up at him, keeping her hands on his upper arms.

"I was uh..." Harry trailed off, not sure he wanted to share his magical meeting with Stevie Nicks -- he wanted to tell Charley first. "I was just having dinner with a friend, but she's just left."

"She, huh?" Kendall teased with a wink, still holding onto him. Suddenly aware of their closeness, Harry took an abrupt step back, trying to cover his awkwardness by sweeping his hand to the chair Stevie had just vacated.

"Do you want to have a drink before you go?" he asked, ignoring her question. She flashed him a smile before turning to wave at her security, indicating she was staying a moment longer.

"Of course! I feel like I haven't seen you in forever," she laughed, and Harry was immediately reminded of the time they'd casually seen each other. Kendall was vivacious, fun, flirty and light hearted. It had been fun hanging out with her, and she'd never wanted to put a label on anything. With her it was never serious. But she was no Charley.

As they chatted, Harry kept comparing Kendall with Charley, the way she laughed or talked or gestured. And as he'd found in their brief fling, he found himself drifting off as she chattered away. The only real problem was, he'd never found her conversation interesting at all.

Finally, Kendall's security team finally got her up out of her seat. She laughed as she kissed Harry goodbye again.

"I better go before they have a fit," she grinned up at him. Harry smiled down at her vibrant smile. She really was a beauty, there was no denying it. She just wasn't Charley.

"I'll have Jeff send you tickets. Just pick the date you want to go to," he smiled, referring to his tour they'd just been discussing.

"You bet." She hesitated and smiled wickedly at him. "Sure you don't want to come with me tonight?" she asked suggestively, raising an eyebrow.

Harry tensed and tried to be as polite as he could. "I've got a girlfriend," he reminded her with a tight smile.

Kendall laughed. "I won't tell if you don't."

Harry shook his head ruefully at her playful manner. "Sorry Kendall, not this time," he said and gave her a little shove toward her security team.

She pouted, then immediately grinned again. Typical Kendall, Harry thought with wry amusement.

"I'll see you at a concert some time then," she blew him a kiss, winked and sashayed out of the building, Harry shaking his head behind her.

Blowing out a breath, he made his way out back, away from the front doors where he was now sure there would be cameras waiting for Kendall. There was a car waiting for him, and he slipped quietly into it, thinking about his meeting with Stevie, and how much he wanted to tell Charley all about it. He sighed, wishing he'd brought his phone with him. He'd left it purposefully back at the house so he wouldn't be tempted to turn it back on.

What is she doing right now? he wondered, looking up at the lit up space needle. Had she had time to process the lyrics to If I Could Fly? Was she freaking out? Was she realising she loved him too?

***

Day 8 -- Monday: Charley in Los Angeles


Charley had agonised all week over what to do. It was one week today since he'd left her with the song which disclosed his true feelings to her. It didn't say it outright, but after scouring the internet for all possible meanings to the song, playing it a thousand times, she was pretty sure he was admitting he loved her -- and it stole her breath from her every time she thought it.

If that was true, then there was no reason for her to hide her love for him anymore. She'd recklessly pulled her phone out to text him more times than she could count, fingers hovering over the keyboard, mind composing how she'd tell him. Each time she'd put the phone away. While she liked the idea of him switching his phone on to find a message from her saying she loved him, she also thought it was too impersonal. She wanted to see his face when he told her, wanted to see the emotion as he said it back. She imagined the scene a million times over, and it filled her with irrational laughter and happiness every time.

She did finally send a text to him, not saying she loved him, but one to put his mind at ease the second he turned his phone on. The lyrics, 'and I hope that you don't run from me', haunted her. It was why he'd told her in a song. He was frightened, just like her, that she would reject him. How silly, she thought giddily. I should have just told him the second I realised. Now we have to wait two weeks, with all this anticipation.

Her text to him read:

CP: I'm not running. Can't wait to see you -- C xxx

The second she'd sent it, she clicked out, immediately closing the Messages program on her phone. She knew he wouldn't get it until he was back in Los Angeles, so there was no point in staring for the three dots that weren't coming.

Every day for the last week she'd gone for an hour-long run to distract herself from the hole in her heart. She ached from missing him, the nights were the hardest. She wondered if he was achieving everything he wanted to, knowing how important this debut album was to him. Charley knew it would be amazing, especially if Two Ghosts was anything to go by.

Charley reflected on the song, and the meaning behind it. It was so intriguing. Harry had admitted to her that the song was about the relationship he'd had with Taylor Swift when he was so young. He hadn't been ready for any kind of relationship, especially not such a high profile one when he was still figuring everything out. He'd made some dumb mistakes and they hadn't parted happily. This song was his apology to Taylor.

Charley had marvelled over Harry's maturity. The way he'd told the story, she hadn't even felt a stab of jealousy, just complete understanding. It had been a long time ago, but this was his first opportunity to address the feelings of a young boy finding fame and romance too much to handle. She wondered what Taylor thought about it -- if she'd finally forgive him. Harry had said Taylor had completely frozen him out since they'd dated all those years ago -- and so far no one had reached out from her camp about the song.

Charley smiled as her mind flicked to the song Harry had sung for her. Girl Crush. No one else knew that he'd changed the words for her, that despite the song meaning something different, Harry had covered it for her.

The other thing she was desperate to tell Harry, was that her second offer had been accepted on the house. She'd had to wait until Tuesday to find out, but it had been worth every second. Charley had been expecting a settlement date of a couple weeks, but it looked like she could move in this weekend since the house was already cleared out. The children of the people who had passed away were happy for her to just move in when she was ready.

If I Could Fly was currently on repeat in her apartment as she laid in bed on this Monday morning, a week to go until he came back. She'd been unable to listen to much else.

Picking up her phone from her bedside table, she gave into temptation once again and checked the news to see if there was any mention of Harry in Seattle. It was a ridiculous exercise she'd taken to doing every day since he'd left. Completely the opposite of what she knew she should do, but she was so hopelessly in love with him and missing him so much, that any hint of a whisper of him was welcome right now.

Joy leapt in her as the very first result of her 'Harry Styles' search came up with a brand new headline. And then her heart stopped as she read it.

"Harry Styles and Kendall Jenner: Sleepless in Seattle?"

Mind going numb, she tapped on the clickbait and instantly regretted it. At least ten grainy photos showed Harry meeting the famous Kardashian sister at a famous five-star restaurant in downtown Seattle. The photos showed him embracing her, kissing her, having a drink with her, laughing with her. She looked stunning, even in the blurry pictures. There was also a photo showing her leaving out front, and a shot of Harry sneaking out the back apparently at the same time. The article suggested he was leaving to join her at her hotel room.

Charley's mind raced, trying to make sense of what she was seeing and reading. You know how the media twists things, she tried to tell herself, but the photos of Harry kissing Kendall were burned into her mind. The shots were angled so she could see the back and side of Harry's head and the cheek of Kendall's face, but it looked as if they were kissing on the mouth -- her hands were gripping his biceps and her eyes were closed. It was pretty incriminating -- how could he explain away kissing another woman? Tears were suddenly stinging at her eyes.

And anyway, what was he doing in Seattle meeting Kendall Jenner? Charley thought as irrational anger started to build. Here she was, listening to his damn song on repeat like a lovesick teenager, and he was out in Seattle with a famous model -- one of his exes no less! Another emotionally damaging Google search revealed Harry had enjoyed and on-off relationship with benefits with the model, if the media was to be believed. The accompanying photos of her sitting on his lap in a bathing suit on a yacht left no doubt.

Slowly, Charley let her hand drop onto the bed and she stared straight up at the ceiling, blinking back tears. I will not cry. It might not even be what it looked like. It probably wasn't. Somehow, though, that didn't matter as suddenly a new line of thinking struck her.

Here she lay, in her regular, LA bed, about to get up to go for her regular LA run, start her regular LA job and then clock off and eat her regular LA dinner. And there was Harry. Meeting supermodels in expensive, high-end restaurants, recording an album, about to head off on a press junket then worldwide tour. Who was she kidding? She couldn't fit into his life. He deserved someone like Kendall, or Taylor. Someone who moved in the same circles at him and didn't make idiots of themselves at parties for not reading the news or following celebrities social accounts. Despair gripped her and she couldn't fight out of it.

Anger at herself raced through her and Charley threw her phone hard across the room, and she heard a loud crack as it hit the door frame. How fitting that it's broken, she thought miserably as she pulled the covers back over her head. Just like my heart.

***

Late in the morning, Charley finally dragged herself out of bed to work. But after reading the news of Harry and Kendall Jenner in Seattle, Charley hadn't gone onto the internet again. She was done. Angry at herself for breaking her phone, she rashly decided to have a fresh start and ordered a new iPhone online as well as a brand new SIM card. It meant a new phone number. It also meant losing all of Harry's texts. Before she could change her mind, she pulled the old SIM out of her broken phone and bent it in half. No going back, she thought through her silent tears.

***

Day 9 -- Tuesday: Charley in Los Angeles

The new iPhone and SIM arrived in the mail on overnight express the next morning and she distracted herself by setting it up and restoring an old back up. As soon as she opened the Messages up, seeing absolutely nothing, she burst into tears. It was like Harry had been completely erased from her life.

Dialling a number she knew by heart, Charley burst into tears the second Caroline answered. Caroline was beside herself as she listened to Charley's story, unable to come round to comfort her friend as she was currently in Australia at the set of a perfume commercial.

"Charley! You know he wouldn't have cheated on you, he's not that stupid," Caroline said desperately over the sound of Charley's sobs.

"Do I though? I barely know him, Caroline. He was supposed to be off-grid locked in some studio in the middle of nowhere. He couldn't have any contact with anyone, just his band! Then lo-and-behold, he was photographed out having dinner with Kendall Jenner." And maybe leaving with her, the nasty little voice inside her piped up.

Caroline didn't have anything to say to that and Charley rushed on to fill the awful pause.

"But it doesn't matter, don't you see? I can't be with him. It made me realise how stupid this all is. I don't want to be that pathetic girlfriend at home Googling her famous boyfriend to see him flying all over the world with supermodels and famous singers," Charley cried brokenly. "I was never like this before. He needs someone like him. Like Kendall."

Caroline huffed out a frustrated sound at that. "That's ridiculous Charley! You guys are perfect together! Just talk to him when he gets back, okay? Please," Caroline begged. There was a muffled sound in the background. "Shit, I have to go Char, they're calling me. Don't do anything stupid like text or call him, okay? Wait until he gets home and talk to him!"

After hanging up, Charley had stared at the phone in her hands as tears had rolled down her cheeks, shaking her head.

***

Day 15 -- Monday: Harry in Seattle

He was going to see her tonight! God, it had felt like a lifetime, not two weeks. Harry excitedly packed his bags, feeling the anticipation build. His confidence had grown over the two weeks that she wouldn't reject him. His plan had been perfect, Charley wouldn't turn him away. He was sure. She was in love with him, too. Or so he hoped. He often replayed that dreamy whisper in his mind wondering if he'd imagined it.

As he was driven into Seattle, he switched his phone on the second he knew reception was back. A flood of messages and missed calls filled the car with beeps and tones. He hurriedly checked through the call lists, then onto the text messages when he didn't see her name. Heart sinking, he checked and re-checked, but there were no new messages from Charley. The last text in their thread was still the one from him listing the song.
A cold dread filled him, and he briskly told himself not to panic. It didn't mean anything. She was probably waiting to see him. He nodded to himself and typed another quick text to her.

HS: I'm on my way to the airport, finally! It's been such a long two weeks without you, baby. H x

A torturous twenty minutes passed with no reply.

HS: Text me when you're free, I want to see you x

Another twenty minutes passed, and they were nearly at the airport now. Finally, Harry called her, but it went straight to voicemail. He hung up, not leaving a message, mind whirling with a jerky kind of panic. He sent a third text as he boarded the plane to LA, feeling sick.

HS: If you listened to the song, then you know how I feel. If you still want to be with me, please meet me at LAX.

Here, he paused, hands shaking, then finished the message.

But if you don't, and that's why you're not answering your phone or replying, I guess I'll have my answer.

He added in his gate number and landing time then shut his phone off for take off. All the happiness he'd been feeling stripped from him, Harry looked back at his pale and drawn reflection in the plane's window as they rolled down the runway. Please be there, Charley, he thought as they soared into the air.


***

Day 13 -- Saturday: Charley in Los Angeles

On Saturday morning, two days before Harry was due home, Charley went for a final, goodbye run in the park near her apartment. A week had passed since the dreadful headline, and the time, along with the excitement of moving into her new house today, helped to clear her thoughts and maybe see that the situation with Harry wasn't as bad as it had initially seemed.

Being in love was tougher than she'd thought, Charley mused as she ran. She hoped it didn't mean she would overreact at absolutely everything, and was very glad that she had been unable to contact Harry after all -- her thoughts had calmed a lot in the last few days.

If he contacts me when he gets home and wants to see me, I'll talk to him about all of this, Charley made a pact with herself. It was only fair to both of them, especially Harry, to talk about her fears before they took a serious step in their relationship -- and before he went on tour. Charley tried not to think about the possibility that maybe seeing Kendall Jenner meant he'd changed his mind about being with her while in Seattle. There was a niggling insecurity that she hated, that maybe being away from her and seeing how different she was from his stunning ex-lover could make him realise she wasn't--

"Charley!"

Charley jumped out of her skin as a man with glasses and something black in his hand appeared in front of her on the path, jerking her out of her thoughts, and she stopped hurriedly to avoid hitting him. Jesus!

The middle-aged man thrust what she recognised as a voice recorder into her face. "What do you think of Harry being in Seattle with Stevie and Kendall? Are you okay with him seeing Kendall again? Did you even know?"

Charley blinked, completely unprepared for this in her current mental state. Journalists had stopped bugging her a while ago, only getting the same shots over and over. This was, though, the first run she'd gone on since the Kendall Jenner headline -- of course there would be a fresh attack from the media.

"Um, no comment," she finally muttered and side-stepped him, jogging away, but he followed her. Hearing him say those things were only fuelling her own insecurities.

"Are the two of you still together? Or no? Did he cheat on you? We haven't had a photo of you two together since London. Have things cooled off?" The journalist started huffing pretty quickly as he shouted the barrage of questions after her. He was clearly unfit, so Charley started to sprint away, not answering him as her mind whirled. Leaving him behind to bend forward on his knees to catch his breath, she dashed back home and into her apartment lobby.

Breathing rapidly, and not from the run, Charley held a hand to her forehead as she thought about the implications of what the reporter had said. Stevie and Kendall? There was another woman? It was just another blow.

And just like that, she was done. Feeling exhausted, with no more tears to spare, Charley walked like a robot back upstairs to shower. Her heart just couldn't take any more.

Charley threw herself into packing all of the boxes she'd purpose-bought for the move. She didn't have too many things, but there was still plenty of boxes and furniture to move. A knock at her door revealed a group of three men from the moving company she'd hired. They were very efficient, and by late afternoon, her apartment was completely empty. It looked so bare.

"Charley! I'm going to miss you." A voice came sadly from the open doorway, disturbing Charley from taking in the empty space she'd called home for so long.

"Oh Marnie, I may be leaving this apartment, but you better come visit me!" Charley smiled at her neighbour and drew her in for a hug. "You've been the best neighbour a girl could ask for."

Marnie grinned. "Back at you. And of course I'm going to come visit. I have to come babysit your new cat."

Charley rolled her eyes. Her and Marnie had been chatting about how a dog would be too difficult to leave when she travelled. Marnie adored cats and had decided one would be a perfect companion for Charley. "I'm not a crazy cat lady just yet," she said with a grin. "But when I am one, you can babysit for me, I promise."

"Oh, but you are already a crazy cat lady," Marnie said mischievously and disappeared back into her apartment across the hall.

Puzzled, Charley waited, then brought both hands to her mouth in shock as Marnie re-emerged carrying the tiniest, fluffiest, cutest grey kitten she had ever seen.

"Marnie!" she gasped, immediately holding her hands out for the ball of fluff.

"Happy house warming," Marnie grinned as she passed the kitten to Charley.

Charley stared at it.

"It's a boy," Marnie continued smugly, folding her arms across her chest. "I got him from the shelter, so you're basically rescuing him."

Charley looked from the kitten to Marnie wordlessly, her mouth open and closing. The kitten started to purr and lick her finger.

"I'm a crazy cat lady," she finally whispered, starting to laugh. "I can't believe you got me a kitten!"

Marnie started to laugh with her and threw an arm around Charley's shoulders as they gazed at the little fluff ball.

"Does he have a name already?" Charley asked.

"Nope, that's the fun part of getting a kitten. You get to choose."

Charley scrunched her nose up as she held the sweet thing up to her face. It batted playfully at her nose and she smiled a little sadly at it. "I have the perfect one."

***

Day 15 -- Monday, LAX airport

Harry's heart sunk. She wasn't waiting for him. He'd looked everywhere, collected his bags, been photographed while he hesitated hoping he'd just missed her, then finally had gotten into a cab.

All the hope he'd had of Charley throwing herself into his arms, saying that she loved him back was finally snuffed out. He pushed her too hard. The song was too much, too soon. He'd put everything on the line, his heart out on the line. And instead of bringing them closer, it had pulled them apart.

The cab pulled up outside his house and he paid his fare, tipping the driver, then robotically entered his house and looked around. It seemed so quiet. Charley had infused his home recently with a warmth and sense of fun. Without her, it was just another house again.

***

Day 21 -- Sunday, Los Angeles


"Up! Up! This ridiculous. No more moping," Maria's brusque voice cut through the dark bedroom, and suddenly bright sunlight was blinding him.

"No," Harry moaned, pulling the covers over his head. "Go 'way."

The covers were ripped off him and Harry was startled into a sitting position. He was only wearing boxer briefs.

"Hey! Maria!" he scowled and tried to grab the duvet back off her.

"No! I need to wash," she said, proceeding to try and rip the sheet underneath him off the bed, too. Startling a laugh from his lips, Harry dove off the bed as she yanked at it hard. Immediately, his mouth turned down again. There hadn't been much to laugh about this last week since being home.

"Go shower. You stink," Maria said loftily as she left with the large bunch of sheets in her arms. Harry watched her in disbelief, blinking, unused to the light streaming into the room. He'd locked himself into his room most of the time since being home, only heading downstairs to eat when he was desperately hungry, taking it back upstairs.

Reluctantly, looking at his bare mattress, Harry decided to take a shower like Maria had suggested, worried the old woman would rip his underpants off next and thrust him into the shower herself. He wasn't sure if she would, but he wasn't taking any changes.

He locked the bathroom door behind him, just in case. He felt like hell. Charley hadn't responded to any of his texts, and subsequent phone calls had told him her number wasn't even in service any more. She'd actually changed her phone number. That's what had completely and utterly broken his heart.

While he stood under the stream of scalding water, Harry wondered for the millionth time what had gone wrong while he'd been away -- if it was the song that had changed her mind, or something else. Either way, she clearly wanted nothing to do with him. To change her phone number...Harry flinched away from the thought. Nothing had hurt him so much as when he'd realised what she'd done. Because if she had wanted him to have her new number, she would have contacted him. He sunk miserably onto the tiled floor of the shower and let the water rush over him.

***

Day 28 -- Saturday, Los Angeles

Harry waited tensely as the ring tone in his ear repeated endlessly before going to voicemail. Caroline wasn't answering. He wanted to throw the damn phone across the room, but he tried again with the same result.

About three days ago, Harry's misery had changed into anger. Fury, really. How could Charley just decide like that without talking to him, to cut him out of her life? After all they'd shared together! It was downright disrespectful. This morning, he woke up with a brand new resolve. He was going to force Charley to talk to him and tell him what had happened. He couldn't leave it like this, he deserved better than this. I basically told her I loved her, for crying out loud! he thought angrily. That song had put him in an incredibly vulnerable position, and for her to just--

He swore as Caroline's answerphone picked up for the fifth time. Obviously flooding her phone with calls wasn't getting any results. Harry thought hard, then started dialling Zayn.

"Fucking pick up, Zayn!" Harry yelled into the phone as it, too, went to voicemail. "Fucking whipped little git," he muttered as he hit redial.

He kept punching redial to Zayn, losing all home as he listened over and over to the dial tone, until suddenly Zayn picked up.

"Harry, give it up! She doesn't want to talk to you!" Zayn's voice blasted him.

Harry almost lost his chance, so startled by the abrupt pick up that he was momentarily breathless, then--

"Zayn! Who doesn't want to talk to me? Caroline or Charley?" he asked breathlessly.

"Both, you idiot! Can't you tell? And stop harassing Caroline -- she's going mental upstairs. She'll be furious if she finds out I've answered," Zayn hissed angrily.

"Why is Caroline furious you're talking to me?" Harry asked, bewildered, ignoring Zayn's other comments. That didn't make sense at all.

"Because of what you did in Seattle," Zayn said slowly, like he was spelling something out to a five year old.

What? Harry felt all the wind blow out of his sails, now feeling utterly lost. What did I do in Seattle?

But Zayn wasn't finished. "Oh! And, obviously, for ignoring Charley, for what, two weeks now? We all know you're back in LA, mate."

"Wait-- what?" Harry couldn't get his brain to work.

Zayn made a condescending tone. "Don't play dumb. You shack up with Kendall Jenner, then not even have the decency to call Charley and tell her it's over? And now you start calling Caroline? What's wrong with you, mate?"


Harry felt the bewilderment change to anger again. "What the fuck? I didn't shack up with Kendall Jenner -- we had, we had...dinner..." he trailed off, the heat in his words dying again.

Zayn was silent.

"Wait...were we photographed?"

Zayn still stayed silent. Harry checked to make sure he hadn't been hung up on, but the timer was still ticking over.

"Zayn. What did the media say? Does Charley think I cheated on her? Zayn, I didn't. I didn't!" Suddenly, his heart was pounding, some kind of mad sense was finally being made out of the last two weeks of his misery.

Zayn finally scoffed loudly. "We all know photos can be misleading, mate, but why didn't you call her when you got home? Apparently Charley's been walking around like a robot, completely heartbroken over a dickhead like you, and my missus has been ranting at me about you every single day! I am sick to death of hearing your bloody name, man!"

Harry rocked back on his heels, thinking fast. "Get Caroline on the phone. To talk. I have to explain. It's not at all what she thinks."

His mind was racing as he listened to Zayn's groan. I'm an idiot, I should have gone online, done some research, called Zayn right away.

"Please, Zayn. If you were ever my friend, I need you to do this for me. I -- I love her," Harry stumbled at the end, the words sounding strange, but so right, out loud.

Zayn hesitated. "You love her?" he asked in obvious surprise.

"Yes, damnit, now can you please tell Caroline I need to talk to her." Harry ran a desperate hand through his hair, frowning at this insane turn of events. His heart pounded. There was a chance this could still be saved.

"I'll have to call you back," Zayn mumbled, and the dial tone sounded in his ear.

Harry paced around his living room while he waited for Zayn's call. Finally, fifteen minutes later, it rang. Harry snatched the phone up.

"Caroline?"

"I'm listening," she said curtly.

And he began to explain.

***

Harry nervously walked into the library. He wasn't sure why Charley wanted to meet here. Maybe because it was so quiet, maybe because it was neutral ground. He'd looked up the images and headlines from Seattle on Google, cursing at the article and the way the photos looked. It definitely looked like he was kissing Kendall on the mouth, and whilst he had left at the same time as her, he had headed to his hotel room with Mitch, not to Kendall's.

Heart pounding, he made his way to the stacks in the back where he'd been told to go by Caroline. He hadn't been given Charley's new number, and he was walking blind right now. And then he saw her and his heart stopped. Her back was to him, seated at a small desk, her phone and keys on the desk in front of her. He took a moment to drink in her long, dark hair swept up into a ponytail, the plain, grey sweats and black t-shirt.

He slowly walked around to sit in the chair opposite her, startling her a little, her eyes jumping to his face, then darting away nervously. Quietly, he drank in her features, realising he hadn't seen her for nearly a month now. His heart clenched savagely as he noted how sadness and exhaustion were written across her face. Despite that, she'd never looked more beautiful to him.

"Hey," he murmured softly and carefully reached his hands out to hers across the table. He was unprepared for how she reflexively jerked away from him, hugging her arms around her body, and leaning back in her seat. Harry's heart sank, but he fought the panic back. He was going to explain. She was here, after all.


"Hi," she replied, looking down at the desk between them. "Caroline said you wanted to talk. So talk."

Harry stared at her, not knowing where to start. "I didn't sleep with Kendall," he blurted, then cringed. That wasn't at all what he'd wanted to say. He watched Charley inspect her fingernails.

"I know," she said softly.

"I was at a last-minute meeting, set up by Jeff--" Harry started rushing on, then paused, startled. What? "Wait, you know?" Confusion coloured his tone.

"After thinking about it for a while, I realised that you woudn't cheat on me, that's not something you would do," Charley clarified, still looking down.

"Well...good," he said lamely. So what was the problem then? He stayed quiet for a moment, hoping she'd continue, but she didn't.

"Caroline said you didn't get my texts," he said softly, pulling out his phone, tapping open the message thread to her and putting it down in front of her.

Her eyes barely flicked to it, not reading the texts.

"Charley, I sent those texts the second I got back into cell phone reception on my way to the airport. I asked...I asked if you still wanted to be with me after listening to the song, if you could meet me at the airport..." he trailed off, realising how stupid he sounded.

That sparked a response out of her. She finally looked up to meet him, surprise in her hazel eyes. His breath caught at the sight. She was so beautiful, especially without a stitch of makeup on, like now.

"You did?" she asked, confused.

"Yes," he pressed on, feeling more hopeful. She was listening. "It was a stupid thing for me to do, I didn't know you'd broken your phone, so when I never heard from you..." Caroline had explained how Charley had had to replace it. She hadn't said how it had broken, but he kind of guessed. "I tried to call you, and it said your number wasn't in service. I assumed that was for a reason. I gave up. I shouldn't have. Baby, I'm so sorry--"

"Don't, Harry," Charley interrupted. "Don't apologise. It's not your fault. I'm sorry. I panicked at the headlines and read more into them than I should have. It's ironic. That usually I don't, but the second I do, I read the worst headline I could read." Her tone was distant and withdrawn, the smile twisting her mouth completely without humour.

Harry felt his heart sinking again. She believed him, she was apologising to him. Then why did this still feel all wrong?

"So...so are we okay?" he asked tentatively, staring intently at her.

Harry watched Charley blow out a breath, looking back down at the desk.

"All of this has taught me something, Harry. Being away from you, seeing the damned photos, not being able to contact you," she paused, then gritted her teeth in determination. "I learned something about myself."

Harry closed his eyes as he felt the inevitable downward spiral his heart had started taking two weeks ago, begin to complete its final, gut-wrenching circuit.

"I can't do it. I can't be with you. You're going off soon to promote your tour -- and then you're going away for a whole year," Charley said quietly. "It's too much."

"We can work it out," Harry burst out desperately, reaching his hands across the table towards her, inches from her crossed arms. "Come with me! Charley--"

She leaned away abruptly, eyes shining with unmistakable tears.

He paused, playing his heart's last card. "Charley..." he whispered brokenly as she stayed looking determinedly away from him. "I've missed you every second of every day we've been apart. I-- I love you." Harry stared at her as she slowly began to shake her head, and everything started to crash down around him.
Charley heard his declaration, her heart leaping for joy as her mind shut it down again. Tears came unbidden to her eyes and she blinked them away desperately, not wanting to cry in front of him. A couple weeks ago, and she would have been throwing herself into his arms at the sound of those three magic words. But now, her heart was broken, and it couldn't be fixed.

She'd been so scared of Harry breaking her heart, but it turns out, he hadn't broken it at all. She had done that all by herself.

It had taken a lot of reflection after he'd come home and not gotten in touch with her, not even tried to find her or talk to her, for her to come to this place. All sorts of things had influenced her final decision: The media comparisons that had been made between her and Kendall's looks, how Harry had a 'type'; her own wretched insecurity and unwelcome jealousy; Harry not getting in contact with her; her own embarrassment in London at not knowing anything about the people in his famous life; the warning Harry's mother had given him; the upcoming tour and press junket...

And that's when a thunderbolt of clarity had hit her. She'd realised that she hated the person she'd become since discovering she was in love with Harry. Charley had never listened to the media before -- she'd never been so insecure, or jealous, either. It was all wrong. And it wasn't fair to Harry. This wasn't the girl he'd met, and it certainly wasn't the person she wanted to be.

And that was when she'd decided that she wasn't going to be the insecure and jealous girl who held him back.

She sat quietly now in the library, looking from under her eyelashes at the young man she loved. He was pale and drawn, his eyes were sad and wretched. He looked like his heart was breaking. It took everything she had not to reach out to him, to comfort him, to tell him she loved him, too. But instead, she was going to let it break. She wasn't going to tell him that she loved him back, and she wasn't going to tell him that they were going to get back together. She was going to do the opposite. So he could move on and find someone who moved in his world. Someone like Kendall or Taylor.

With a deep breath, Charley unwrapped her arms from around herself, and, with a purposeful movement, she slid the car keys in front of her across the desk. He looked down at them in bewilderment.

"The car is still parked in the apartment garage," she said, the words meaning to come out strong, instead coming out as a whisper. "It needs to be picked up by the end of the week."

Charley paused to steady her voice as she felt it begin to quaver. "I'm sorry that I've hurt you, Harry. It was never my intention. Good luck...with everything." She tried to smile, but failed. Shakily she got to her feet, trying not to look at the boy still seated, staring at her with a devastated expression on his face.

"Charley..." he said weakly, and she turned her head to hide the sudden tears at the ragged sound of his voice.

"Goodbye," Charley said quietly, and quickly left the library. Her feet picked up speed, racing away from the first man she'd ever loved, not stopping until she'd thrown herself into a cab and asked the driver to take her home. And then the tears finally came. And they didn't stop.

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A/N: This was so sad to write, please rate and vote it you enjoyed it. These chapters do take me quite a while to write and edit as they're so long -- I really would appreciate comments and votes to know that you appreciate the story -- love kristin x