In Ancient Greece, the world was ruled by the gods of Olympus, but you already know their stories, if not you probably wouldn’t be reading this. So let me tell you about the time Hermes single handedly cucked and fucked his way to being ruler of Olympus...this’ll make sense later.

Our story begins in the forests of ancient greece. The messenger god Hermes was floating above the trees, sorting letters that Zeus instructed him to deliver to his mistresses, the king couldn’t even be faithful to his own sidechicks. “Hey, Hermes!” the god in question looked and saw his half sister Artemis sitting on a log while skinning a boar.

“Oh, hey Artemis!” Hermes greeted as he joined the huntress on the log.

“Father sent you to deliver letters to his mistresses again?” Artemis asked. A long time ago her Fathers infidelity would’ve enraged Artemis, but she was used to this by now.

“Yeah, thankfully Thoth and the rest of the Egyptian Pantheon were willing to teach us how to write letters, now I don’t have to recite all five hundred of these orally,” Hermes said. “If I had a drachma for everytime a mortal woman thought I was hitting on her because of that…”

Artemis giggled, making Hermes blush. Hermes would never admit it to her, but he had a crush on Artemis ever since they saved Ares from the Aloadae. But because Artemis took a vow of chastity, he could never admit his feelings for her, in fear that it would ruin their friendship. Hermes didn’t know this, but she felt a similar way towards him, but because of the vow she took when she was little, she couldn’t do anything about it. Artemis stood up and said bye to Hermes as she got on her chariot.

Hermes sat on the log as he fiddled with the love letters. “Today is such a beautiful day. Why should I have to waste it sending love letters on behalf of the man who has single handedly boned the entire continent?” Hermes asked no one in particular.

Then as if summoned, a bright pink light shimmered in front of the young god, and when it died down he saw Eros standing before him. “Hello Hermes!” Eros greeted.

“Oh, hey Eros, what brings you here?”

“You actually,” Eros said as he threw an amulet with a pink diamond in it onto Hermes lap.

“What’s this?” Hermes asked.

“Like you, Gaia and I are tired of Zeus’ infidelity and uncontrollable libido, which is why we have decided it’s time Zeus be replaced.”

“I honestly doubt that Zeus is going to be willing to give up his throne.”

“Which is where the amulet comes in. This amulet has the power to do anything so long as it’s related to sex in some way, and get’s it’s power from seduction. As the messenger of the gods, you are good friends with many of the gods and goddesses, so you should be able to seduce them no problem,” Eros explained.

“But why me?”

“For three generations Olympuses king has been chosen based on strength, perhaps it’s time we chose won for who his cunning. And who is more cunning than a trickster?”

Hermes looked at the amulet and pondered the options. He always did wonder what it'd be like to be king.