"So, you finally succeeded." The Director follows the man in the lab coat down a bland, immaculate hallway to a security door at the end. The sound of her high heels echos up and down the hall as she walks.

"Yes we did." The lead scientist says proudly. "As always with these long-shot R&D projects, all it took was a drunk intern working late to stumble upon the answer."

"PLEASE SUBMIT YOUR GENITALIA FOR IDENTIFICATION." This tinny request comes from the door's security system. A metal dildo on a long metal pole emerges from the ground in front of the door, and a panel slides away from a panel on the wall to the side of the door, revealing a fleshlight-style opening at crotch height. 

"Ah yes, you probably haven't witnessed this yet, have you. This is related to that... 'quirk' I mentioned we need to talk about. Please excuse this."

The lead scientist pulls open his lab coat, unzips his pants and pulls out his erect cock. The Director watches with wide eyes as the man pushes his entire length into this recently-revealed artificial orifice.

"ERROR." The tinny voice announces flatly.

The man frowns, and pulls out, before slamming in again. The Director hears the door's voice actually emit a sexual grunt, before once again announcing "ERROR."

The scientist keeps trying over and over, eliciting the same response each time. As he does, he tries to explain.

"When we ran the initial validation test on the Improbability Drive, the security door successfully acted as a probability shield, protecting the rest of the lab and the outside world. But the door itself was still affected by the Probability Warp. And this is the result."

"ERROR."
"ERROR."
"ERROR."

"It wasn't having and problems validating me like this yesterday though." The scientist complains, flustered and beginning to sweat.

"How... Improbable." The Director observed dryly.

"You may need to come back another day, I'm afraid." The Scientist said apologetically. "Oh gosh, I'm reaching my... my limit..."

"ERROR."
"ERROR."
"ERROR."

The scientist grunts as his cums, filling the hole with his semen. A little can be seen dribbling out of the hole from the bottom.

"CRITICAL ERROR."

The Director wrinkles her nose and looks away with distate as the man removes his meat from the fleshlight slot and puts it back in his pants.

"I am no expert in these matters." The Director says softly. "But it occurs to me that perhaps the injection of semen into the genitalia scanning apparatus might be the cause of the issue in the first place?"

"That... Err... I hadn't thought of that. That actually makes a lot of sense." The scientist admits.

The Director shakes her head. "This is already trying my patience. The only reason I'm still here is because the potential implications of this technology, if it truly works, are beyond your wildest dreams. I am a busy woman with an extremely full schedule. I cannot simply 'come back another day'." Her voice is not harsh, but it is firm.

"Tell me, have my credentials been added to your systems?” She asks.

"Of... of course." The man replies, slightly out of breath.

"Then I shall fix this problem myself. But first I must ask that you look away."

It was phrased as a polite request, but it was not a request. The scientist nods quickly and focuses his gaze back down the hall.

There is a zzzzip followed by the soft sound of her pencil skirt hitting the floor. Next, the scientist can hear the sound of pantyhose being shuffled downwards.

"ACCESS GRANTED."

The noise of a large lock mechanically unlatching, followed the metal door loudly opening, fills the hall.

A faint wet slurping sound can be heard for a moment just before the sound of the dildo-on-a-pole retracting back into the floor with a mechanical whine.

Shuffle shuffle zzzzip

"After you, Doctor." The Director says softly and with only a hint of shakiness in her voice.

The scientist, now rather red in the face, turns back around and nods, before leading the way into the test chamber.

In front of them now stands the most extraordinary human invention of all time: The Improbability Drive.

"So, tell me about this... 'quirk'."