Hi I’m yizz, I have been a dragon breeder for 23 years now, I took over from my farther when I was 15 now as you may expect its a fucked up job and I don’t expect you’d like to know how exactly the breeding process is done... Or maybe you would like to I mean you are reading this...

OK well you see dragons are a very temperamental species, they only mate twice a year and males only mate with like 2 female before there spent... Funny such grand and scarey animals and like that there spent, anyway we get the males to spend there loads into a fake female dragon then we insert said load into the 10 dragons we keep at our mountain ranch.

Insemination is... Well we haven’t perfected it as of yet, what we do is literally glove up dip our hands into the load and... Well you get where our hands have to go next.

Breeding dragons isn’t just disgusting though let me tell you we go through hands... People and HANDS literally like nothing, it was so bad last year we had to have the workers sign a waver this year, can’t recall how meany times I have had to call for the healers to come.

Hell my 1st year on the job my dad had to call the arch priestess as one of the baby’s bit my thigh, the bite wasn’t that bad but the baby had some deadly venom sacks and we had no way of knowing if they had developed enough to kill yet.

As of now I’m covered in scars and burns, like I said I have the scar on my thigh from the baby, 3 deep scars on my chest from a youngling that cut deep when it got into a fit of anger during its 1st mating season... Leant my lesson with that one keep away from a Welsh Red heart when there in season... there fucking MEAN, then I got couple up the top of my right shoulder right across the left of my arm from a tail swipe this one was unintentional but it put me out for 6 months that was from the tail of a Canadian black she was a loverly girl but so clumsy, that one you always had to watch what she was doing so as not to get hurt.

The worst Iv seen was when the American buk white tail, he tried to kill the new Antarctica blue because she wouldn’t mate with him, the fucker went on a rampage got out of his pen in the mountain and went out burnt half the forest down before the adventures put him down, dad was with them that day in the forest with his trusty long rifle took his eye out from 200 yards it didn’t like that and flew straight at him it’s tail went right through his Heart... Died before he even hit the floor.

GOT THAT FUCKING DRAGONS HEAD ON MY WALL FOR THAT!

...

But. . . Yea dragons dragon aren’t easy beasts to look after it’d not often but every couple of years you get one and it just doesn’t give a fuck.

We had a new girl start last month.

Odd girl the dragons love her especially the Welsh red heart he seemed to make her sleep next to him the other day not that she minded.

Took me 13 months till one let me do that I can tell you now there’s nothing like hugging up to one of those powerful animals and falling asleep to the sound of there heart beat.

She’s a lovely girl her names Ddraig Goch... That can’t be a coincidence... Can it?

Like I said just arrived last month during a terrible storm in only a large black cloak, we got her in quickly and just as she sat down that was it she passed out woke up 2 days later. We asked her what happened but she didn’t know all she could rember was waking up on the mountain top covered in snow and walking down the mountain till she found us and passed out, after a few days we took her out so she could get a stretch and fresh air that was when she spotted the dragons and... Well that was it she refused to leave even begged for a job... How could this middle aged man refuse such a cute young woman after that?

To be honest... We needed the help anyway what with mating season just around the corner and our population double the usual amount meaning more work, more profit and... Oh lord a lot... A LOT more loads to deal with, I love this job but some times you just can’t help but scream WHY... Why do I have to wank of this giant fucking lizard of doom why can’t they just fuck like normal animals to increase there population.

I can handle the danger and death but I will never NEVER get used to WANKING a fucking dragon... You don’t know the hell of the accidents that can occur on THIS part of the job.

If there’s one thing I have learnt , and I learnt this very FUCKING quickly during the “mating” process always ALWAYS keep your mouth CLOSED

It takes weeks to get that... Taste out