[Note: This is an alternative timeline different from our own. Modern and the anachronistic mix.]

Arsène Lupin III, grandson of the famous, the greatest, "Gentleman Burglar" who was even a match for Sherlock Holmes, was with, for the lack of a better term, his 'best friend', Daisuke Jigen. The best world's best marksman and former hitman for hire, whistled as he looked at the ultra plush surroundings of their suite. This was the European-style wing of a grand hotel that also had a Japanese-style wing. "This joint is quite a ways up from the hellhole we were hiding out in. I take it you have access again to the millions you have stashed away from your robberies."

"Hundreds of millions," he giggled. "And its all thanks to you and that samurai with the sword that can cut through anything, Goemon Ishikawa! Those who kept me from getting my funds are now either in the hands of the ICPO or dead. This vacation is a gift to my faithful sidekicks."

A bullet grazed his 1970s-style sideburns. "Watch who you call sidekicks!"

"I am. Hello, Goemon," he said as a man dressed in something out of a classic samurai movie, complete with a amigasa straw hat, entered.

"Tell me, Lupin, what is the real reason we are here?" the Stoic man asked.

"Yeah, I want to know, too. It isn't like you not to be stealing something," Jigen said, holstering his pistol under his jacket.

"I'll tell you the plan in a bit. But you know me, there has to be an element of danger. And from what my informants are telling me, boy, this is a danger I can't wait to face. Oh, Mama!"

Goemon and Jigen half-drew their weapons. "Tell us what danger we're facing this time, you thrill-seeking lunatic!"

"You've heard of kunoichi?" he said, flopping down onto a Louis the 14th (probably genuine) sofa.

Goemon's face became even grimmer. But Jigen had to ask, "You mean female ninja?"

"Jigen, you being Japanese, should know better than to confuse anime and history."

"Hey! I spent most of my childhood in America. My dad worked for the friggin' Mafia."

"Like you, Lupin, he is only half-Japanese." Goemon was proud of being pure-blooded Japanese. A true samurai (who also confused anime and history).

"That's right!" Jigen said proudly. "Half-Irish. My dad spelled his name Geagan."

"Ah, the Irish and the French have always had a special bond," Lupin said, sounding nostalgic. He could be a great actor.

"The kunoichi are more the equivalent of modern female spies than what you think of as ninja," Goemon informed them.

"You stole my line, Goemon!" Lupin cried, sitting up. He became a little more serious, now. "But he's right. Their main weapon was - and is! - Es Ee Eks: SEX!"

"You mean they're like Fujiko," Jigen frowned under his pulled down hat and long bangs. He did not trust women. And the woman he trusted least was Fujiko Mine. Even when she helped them, she would betray them in the end. The only sin that meant anything to her was Greed.

"You know... You're right!!" And Lupin began throwing up his arms and legs like a little boy excited at the thought of finding the toy he had asked Santa for. "I want to meet another Fujiko!"

"If she's anything like that vampire, you'll be the one with a stake through his heart!" Jigen said.

Goemon nodded. He, then, asked, "Who is the kunoichi working for?"

"The ICPO, the Sûreté , Scotland Yard, Keisatsu-chō, Homeland Security, et cetera. And those are just the law-enforcement agencies looking for a few good-looking women to do the job the men haven't been able to do: Get Me!

"The underworld hitwomen can also be considered kunoichi. The sexy ones, at least. Any woman who's going to get me has to be sexy!" Then his eyes lit up and widened, his hands making motions in front of him, "With huge titties!"

"So," Jigen said, sounding disappointed. "Just the female version of the same old: Trying to claim the reward for bringing you in, dead or alive."

"Right," Lupin confirmed, becoming mature again. But there was a smug smile beneath his frown. "For the undercover policewoman..."

"Or female secret agent," Goemon added.

"...or the secret agent," Lupin agreed, annoyed about being upstaged again, "the reward is a promotion, a pay increase, and a say in selecting her assignments."

Jigen grimly laughed. "Moola for the assassins. And a reputation for taking out the Man Who Can't Be Killed. Yeah. There has to be something in it for any women besides a monkey face like yours, Lupin."

"You take that back!" Lupin was insulted. "I'll show you: I'll be sleeping with a civilian everyday this week!"

"Jigen, you know you have just put him, and ourselves, in even more danger," Goemon said.

Jigen pointed his pistol under his chin. "I should learn to keep my big mouth shut."