Channel 1. Dog show -zzap

Channel 2. Women's Tennis -zzap

Channel 3. 11 o'clock News -zzap

Channel 4. Made for TV movie

The screen blacked out

Nothing good was ever on TV anyway, Dave should've expected as much, especially as this was eleven o'clock in the morning on a weekday.
Dave kicked his feet out and scratched his head.

He remembered his boss's words.

"Don't worry about it Dave, if you're unwell, take the day off."

Now, lying naked on the couch in front of daytime TV, it seemed only natural that he deserved a day off work, and even more natural that it should be spent nude.

Dave could hear a bird outside the window. He measured a long breath and stood up. He walked to the window, took a bottle of whiskey from the whiskey cabinet, and took a long swig of whiskey. He looked down at his naked body. He was glad to be off work.

Dave was feeling great. He took another swig of whiskey. Dave was feeling really great. He had already told his boss that he had leprosy or pneumonia or cataracts or something, but lying to your boss is okay really. The bird squawked loudly. She wouldn't be so bossy in the first place if she didn't want to be lied to. Come to think of it, Dave wouldn't have minded an argument with her. He was really quite bored with his job.

The bird sounded really loud. It was perched just on the outside window sill. Dave opened the window and leaned on the inside sill, watching the bird grooming itself between squawks. He examined the bird's sleek green feathers.
How long had he been doing that job? It had never really been a life choice. Dave stretched his finger out toward the bird, which pecked a little at the tip.

There was a knock at the front door. The bird flew away with a start, in turn making Dave jump. He wrapped a dressing gown around himself and walked to the door.