Be sure to hit "Start Game" to track your progress...

*Skreeeech-Crash!* "Bee-woooop-woooop! Wheeooo-wheeooo-wheeooo---!"

"What the Hell was THAT?" You ask yourself, though you have a sinking feeling you already know, and looking out the kitchen window of the enormous Victorian farmhouse you inherited from your estranged great-grandfather a month ago confirms it. It's the first day of spring in South-Central Ohio, and it's been raining fit to cause a flood all day. This makes the old country road on the North side of your new property slicker than spit and some poor bastard with bald tires in an old Lincoln Station Wagon has just hydroplaned on that puddle outside the front gate and crashed headlong into your fence.

As you throw on your plastic poncho and grab your multi-tool and flashlight you catch a look at yourself in the big mirror in the front hall...

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