Pt. XVIII: Safari Snatch
Caitlin, Kim and Sal rode their Harleys from Dyer, Nevada, across the border and into California, heading north. They crossed back into Nevada at Topaz Lake and headed up I-395 to Reno.
Right up to the casino-hotel where Thomas Peterson had been murdered they rode. Jack had reserved the other super suite for them. Peterson lost his penis and his life in the Roman Super Suite. The three ladies were staying in the Safari Super Suite.
"This is incredible!" Sal gasped as she surveyed their accommodations.
"Hey, you are a governor’s daughter, girl." Kim chuckled. "What, do they make you stay in Motel 6?"
"No, no, but this is awesome. I love the Jacuzzi in this living room, the elephant head searching for a watering hole and the native water carriers."
"Yeah, really," Caitlin added, "I wonder if the natives are cannibals, ‘eh? I like the dome over the Jacuzzi with the three sky scenes, daytime, nighttime and starry night. So where is the Sasquatch?"
"That elephant head and the charging rhinoceros on the first floor are sculpted from fiberglass," Kim offered. "Look at the ceilings. That is Rhodesian walnut imported from England."
The three checked out the three bedrooms and the five baths, all of which featured full-size steam showers. When they got to the master bedroom, each looked at the other.
"I’ll take this bedroom," Kim said assertively.
"I don’t think so," Caitlin retorted. "We’ll all sleep here."
The master bedroom had an eight-foot by eight-foot king’s king bed draped in silk mosquito netting and was surrounded by a sitting area. A beautiful soft white leather sofa sat at the end of the gigantic bed.
"Hey, I’m famished!" Caitlin exclaimed, after they had closely scrutinized everything about their new digs.
"Let’s try the Italian cuisine," Kim suggested, and mentioned the name of one of the seven restaurants in this fabulous place.
"But you’re not Italian," Sal chided.
"No, I’m not, Sal, I’m black and a little bit of something else. You are definitely blonde. So I like Italian. Don’t you like southern-fried chicken and some of the other favorites of us black folk?"
"Uh, it’s OK but I prefer lobster."
"Yeah, whatever, you two," Caitlin interrupted, quite irritated. "Let’s eat some food rather than talk about it."
"Geez, Caitlin," Kim whined, "you are always hungry. I suppose later you’ll go out for pizza and tell us another bullshit story about blowing the dudes you met at the pizza shop."
"Nope," Caitlin smirked, "this time I’ll tell you another story about Roger the Scotsquatch. This one involves not only fucking chicks, but fucking chickens as well."
"Yeah, right," Sal snorted sarcastically.
"Well, let’s just go chow down, shall we?" Caitlin asked but insisted in conclusion of the matter.
The restaurant had a dining area covered by an enchanted skydome, ringed with softly glowing torches. The sky scene drifted from sunset into starry twilight as soft northern lights appeared and then a meteor shower streamed by, accompanied by dramatic music. What the three ladies found most intriguing was the large statue of the Roman hero Antinous and two naked maidens which revolved around and around.
"Hey, I’m getting dizzy," Caitlin complained. "We better order."
Sal had the Carpaccio di Manzo, Ripieno al Profumo di Tarfufo, also known as beef and lobster. The beef tenderloin was thinly sliced and quite rare. After the first hungry bite, Sal squealed, "Geez, you are looking at me like I’m a cannibal. So I like rare meat." Her lobster tail was served with caper berries, parmigiano-reggiano cheese, white truffle oil and lamb’s lettuce.
Kim ordered the Quaglie Grigliante Servite sul Letto di Polenta all’ Asiago. She toyed with the grilled quail skewered with exotic vinegar and honey sauces.
"If you don’t want that, Kim, just pass your plate this way," Caitlin said with a wink. Caitlin had quickly finished her Vongole Veraci all Mediterranea con Brusshette Dorate; manila clams braised in a special white wine sauce. "Clams enhance the female libido, you know."
Throughout dinner the three discussed cannibalism. Kim recalled for Sal the conversations she and Caitlin had about the Aztecs and others inclined to eat human flesh. Caitlin talked about Anasazi cannibalism in southwestern Colorado almost a thousand years ago. Kim related stories about cannibalistic serial murderers.
"Please, no more Jeffrey Dahmer jokes, Kim," Caitlin begged.
"No, no, but here is one I haven’t told before. Alexander "Sawney" Bean was born near Edinburgh during the time of King James. Right, the bible dude. He moved to County Galloway and he and his wife lived in a cave near the shore. They had many children and grandchildren, all the result of incest. Now, this Bean dude needed a means to feed all these kids. He robbed passers-by and the victims became dinner. He and the little ones dragged the bodies back to the cave, had a snack and pickled the rest for later. In fact, they had so much ‘food’ they just threw much away into the sea. Severed limbs and body parts that washed up on the shore alarmed the local community and …"
"Oh, shit, Kim, would you stop please!" Sal demanded. "I’m going to vomit if you keep this up. Caitlin, please tell that story you were talking about." "Yeah, OK, Sal. You are a little too morbid for me, too, Kim."
"Hey," Kim protested, "I heard of this dude named Flagg who likes to fuck dead girls. And then he eats them and I’m not talking cunnilingus here, and …"
"Shut the fuck up, Kim!" Sal screamed. "I’d much rather hear Caitlin’s close encounters of the strange kind. Please, Caitlin, begin your story."
"OK. Several months after our initial encounter with Roger the Scotsquatch, Gloria and I decided it was time for a return trip to the woods. It wasn't just about the sex. We developed a strategic business plan to become rich and famous.
"Gloria, quite the liberated squaw, had hunted and trapped animals for years. She suggested that we attempt to capture Roger. Not just for our own prurient purposes, but in order to further our mutual interest in becoming independently wealthy.
"We had told some of our girlfriends about our sexual escapades with Roger. To say that the girlfriends were interested in getting a little of this big dick would be an understatement; they were fucking drooling.
"Gloria mused, ‘You know, all this talk about whether or not girls like big dicks is bullshit. Remember when our friend Virginia kept asking whether it more pleasurable to get fucked by a big penis? Doh!’
"I responded, ‘Yeah right, and how would Virgin-ya know anyway?’
"Gloria continued, ‘That bitch fight between Ginger and Simply was entertaining. Simply said, "Size DOES matter. They SAY it’s all in how you wiggle the worm, but if you have a three inch worm all the wiggling in the world won't help." Ginger countered with, "My point is that good sex like anything else takes a little timing and a whole lot of abandoned notions. Each person is different and each has his or her own unique way of making it exciting." How did Simply get the nickname Simply anyway?’
"Simply is from the south and a lawyer, remember? I mean, whenever we party and get down to the fucking and sucking, don't we always have to tell her, 'It's time to git nekkid, girl' and such? Don't you recall that game Simple Simply Says we played with those mentally challenged but quite well-endowed boys from the group home?’
"Yes I sure do; talk about dumb fucks. But Simply did get us out of jail that time we got busted for 'disturbing the piece.' I still can't see what the big deal about playing with your pussy in public is, anyway."
"Yeah, really," I agreed, "ya know, I simply can't wait until Ginger finds out Roger's way of making it exciting is twenty inches. She will be singing a different tune when Roger fills up her tank. I bet Ginger won't call Roger 'Needledick the Bug Fucker' like she does the other guys she has been with.
"We had another friend, Endlessly was her nickname, and guess what she liked endlessly. Right, anal. She took a little trip to New York City with us. Of course, we are all fans of Howard Stern and we just had to be on his show. You know how Howard always asks the girls on his show, ‘Do you do anal?’ When he asked Endlessly, she just lifted her skirt, dropped her panties and bent over. That dwarf who hangs out on Howard's show came right up behind her and slipped it up her bum. OMG! He's pretty dang big for a little dude.
"We knew our girlfriends wanted it; we knew they wanted it big. Click, click. Capture the dude with the biggest dick ever, and would we score or what? The word "pimp" did cross our minds.
"Gloria and I decided to capture Roger, bring him back to civilization, let him fuck our girlfriends in the mouth, wouldn't that just shut them up, and up the ass for free, but charge everybody else. The thought also crossed our minds we might take him on the Howard Stern show for one of those anal episodes. Like, really, who couldn't Roger make squeal? Ned Beatty was good in Deliverance but we couldn't wait until Roger had Ginger, Simply and Endlessly squealing like the three little pigs. Talking about spanking the monkey, this would be turnabout fair play and the monkey would get revenge."
"Gloria recalled fondly, ‘I love that movie Deliverance and when the toothless hillbilly gives it to Ned up the ass. And then the other toothless hillbilly tells Jon Voight he has a nice mouth and is about to stick his cock in Jon's mouth when Burt Reynolds shoots the toothless one with an arrow.’"
"I responded, ‘Well the dueling banjo scene was my favorite, but talking about Jon Voight and his nice mouth, how about his daughter, Angelina Jolie? Nice lips, 'eh? And she is bisexual so she says. How would you like those smackers sucking on your clit? Angelina reminds me of you, Caitlin. She is very interested in vampires and such and has the Japanese word for death tattooed on her shoulder. I heard she wanted to be a funeral director before she became an actress.’"
"Gloria and I went back to the woods where we had last seen Roger and his big fat Roger. We had the trap in the back of her truck."
"I complimented Gloria, ‘That’s one hell of a trap. How did you make it, again?’ I inquired."
"Gloria responded, ‘Oh, it was nothing really. I just expanded my old trap. You know, the one I use for, well, never mind. There are sixteen notches on my belt. See? Tell me that rat sandwich story again, please Caitlin?’ she begged."
"Oh, OK. I got the idea of culinary delights from one of my teen angel experiences. My first real boyfriend was like 16 and I was 15. He had a car and when he picked me up he would never come to the door; just beep in the driveway. The only place this dude ever took me was on a ride down some deserted road where he would feel my tits and whine until I jerked him off.
"When this asshole dropped me off at home he would order me to go make him a sandwich. 'What, am I your waitress and fucking slave?' I spat at him as I got out of his car on our final date. I simply had enough of this crap but I did make him one last sandwich; with Alpo. You should have seen the look on his face as he chewed up that first bite. It was worth the smack he gave me that ended our relationship.
"The dude never would have know what it was exactly but he asked, 'What the hell is this?' I could have said a new variety of Spam but I burst out laughing and told him, 'You are what you eat, dog breath. That's dog food. You want a Milk-Bone for dessert?' I just couldn't resist the urge to tell.
"Well, it was deja vu with the barbecued rat sandwich. I kept him, I specifically ordered a male rat, frozen until the annual company picnic. He ended up on the plate of one who I particularly despised because of his despicable treatment of women. A picture is worth a thousand words and so was the look on his face when he tasted that ratburger. I can't believe he ate the whole thing!
"You know where I got the rat. That place in the UK where we get all of our delicacies. The place where we got the Spanish Fly we are going to use on Roger. The rats come frozen and you can choose from four different sizes and several different varieties. I mean, you can get all sorts of live beetles, locusts and other bugs, including the emerald green blister beetle, the Lytta Vesicatoria, more commonly known as the Spanish Fly. End of that story, back to Roger the Scotsquatch.
"Ginger, Simply and Endlessly were a little surprised when we asked them for their soiled panties but they cooperated because they were begging us to go get the ‘gorilla with the thrilla.’ How could Roger refuse this bait? We thought it would work a little like ether. One whiff and he's dead meat, but just temporarily, thank the Lord!
"We set the trap and covered it with branches and leaves. A trail of panties for about a hundred yards led right into the trap. We went back to our campsite and crashed. In the morning when we returned guess what we caught.
"Roger had three dead chickens in his hand that we asked him about. ‘What's up with the chickens, Rog?’ I asked."
"Roger explained, ‘Dinner, my dears. I don't like to whack the chickens' heads off. I just fuck them to death.’ I was in shock but Gloria seemed interested."
"Gloria inquired, ‘How do you catch them, Rog?’ She was dead serious and hung on the big monkey’s every word."
"I seduce them with my charm. The conversation goes something like this, 'Yo chickie, wanna pluck? I don't like fish anyway. Don't I just remind you so much of Colonel Sanders?' When I stick my dick in the chicks they start jumping around just like when they have been decapitated and before long they are in chickie heaven.’ I don’t make chickens give me head, but chicks are an entirely different matter."
"I cautioned him, ‘Well, Rog, we have some fucking chicks for you, but please don't fuck them to death. Geez, without the girlfriends our Tupperware parties would be pretty dang boring.’
"We hauled Roger back to civilization, took him to Ginger's house and Simply and Endlessly met us there. Of course we left Roger in the cage because we didn't totally trust him. After all, he is a man. Well, partly man, we think. No one will know for sure unless an autopsy is completed, which we threatened Roger with if he wasn't a good boy.
"Now, knowing Ginger, Simply and Endlessly like we do, we were a little concerned Roger's libido might not be up to the challenge. So we helped his libido along a little. We made him a chicken sandwich with a liberal dose of the Spanish Fly mixed with the mayonaisse.
"Gloria whispered to me as we made the sandwich, ‘You know the Marquis de Sade utilized a concoction of these pulverized beetles to entice young ladies to participate in his orgies. Unfortunately he occasionally used a little too much and poisoned his female friends. Cantharidin is the poisonous substance in these pulverized beetles. Normally two grams will result in a fatality within a few hours. Not to get medically technical, but prior to death the preliminary symptom is priapism; a hard-on that won't go away no matter what.’ She began to giggle as I prepared the love potion."
"I laughed out loud as I measured out four grams for Roger's sandwich. ‘Hey, he's a big dude, everywhere,’ I chortled to Gloria."
"The minute Ginger, Simply and Endlessly set eyes on Roger and that gorilla thrilla they started squirming like they had to pee. And then Roger started talking, saying stuff like ‘a squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast 'n' bulbous, got me.’ The girls were mesmerized, and let me tell you, these three were on fire!"
"Simply cooed, ‘I know that I am very attracted to very big, very strong, overly manly men. I like to be able to smell the testosterone and it also helps if they like to monkey around.’ Endlessly just nodded, with her tongue hanging out."
"Gloria instructed the three, ‘Git nekkid and start plucking like chickens. That is the variety of chick Roger is used to plucking but it won't take him long to adjust to new pussy.’
"There was a whole lot of squawking going on and it mostly was about who was going first.
"Ginger was playing with herself and staring in shock at Roger's rigid penis sticking through the bars of the cage. ‘I have never seen one nearly that big before! You could use that dang thing for a baseball bat.’
"I advised, ‘You ain't seen nothing yet honey. Here, rub some of this on it." I gave her the "real" Miracle Grow to play rub-a-dub-dub with.
"I found this miracle potion to make dicks bigger in what is probably the greatest literary work of erotica ever published, The Perfumed Garden of Sheik Nefzaoui. You surely remember that book. It is the favorite literary work of our ‘locusts’ who are prompting beautiful women to disappear. I this book you will find the best method for increasing the size of the penis. Prepare a powder of pepper, lavender, galanga and musk. Mix it with honey and preserved ginger and just rub it on. To quote from the book, "The member will then grow large and brawny, and afford a marvelous feeling of voluptuousness.’
"Ginger was rubbing the ointment I prepared on Roger's cock and he was moaning deliriously. ‘It's getting even bigger!’ she exclaimed incredulously.
"I began reading the Kama Sutra. Opening the book in the middle, I began with the Vadavaka or Mare's Trick. ‘Like a mare cruelly gripping a stallion, you trap and milk your lover's penis with your vagina.’
"I read one paragraph. That's all the further I got. Nobody was paying any attention to me.
"Ginger jumped up and pressed her ass up against the bars of the cage. I mean, she was thumping it with her butt. It took Roger about two seconds to realize what was happening and he stuck it right in her from behind. I think monkeys have a knot like a dog because she couldn't get loose. Once she got accustomed to the enormity of the moment, and Roger's member, she pounded right back at him from outside the cage as he pounded away at her from inside the cage.
"It didn't take Ginger long, she was like a bitch in heat. They were making enough noise to wake George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. She screamed loudly when she came and Roger followed soon behind. Ginger somehow managed to shake loose just as Roger got off and he shot streams and streams of cum all over her ass.
"Roger's huge cock was still erect and still sticking through the bars of the cage. All the documentation I read about Spanish Fly was correct. You never got rid of the hard-on.
"Endlessly winked and whispered, ‘Watch me make that Roger disappear. I've been practicing my deepthroating techniques on giant sausages, those two foot ones you get from Dick's Deli. OMG, there's always a long line at that place; all women licking their lips with their hands down their panties.’
"Roger was just going absolutely wild as Endlessly sucked his cock through the bars. He kind of reminded me of an Elvis impersonator. Unfortunately Roger made the mistake of saying, ‘No chicken ever got all of me in her mouth like that!’
"Endlessly bit him very hard and he screamed. She relaxed her grip and pulled him out and he came all over her face. Then she stood up and pressed her face up against the cage. Roger kissed her passionately and licked his own cum off her face.
"Roger was still hard and Simply looked like a crazed zombie from all this watching and not getting any. She put her feet through the second rung of bars and her arms through the fourth rung with her hands around Roger's neck. He entered her.
"Fifteen minutes later Simply had marks all over her body from pressing up against the bars and her voice was hoarse from all the screaming and yelling. I mean, she was really going apeshit for this ape and kept chanting, ‘I smell the testosterone!’
"Gloria and I decided to go home and get some sleep. Eight hours later we went back. Damn! They all were still going at it. I could not understand why Roger was not in a state of rigor mortis because of the Spanish Fly. His Roger was quite stiff but that was all.
"The girls had let Roger out of the cage and had him spread-eagled and cuffed to the bed by his wrists and ankles. Ginger, Simply and Endlessly were taking turns jumping on rigid Roger. The girls looked like predators; tiger ladies lusting after meat.
"Obviously Gloria and I were extremely pleased with the results of our test marketing of the Roger's Roger. His services will soon be made available to the general public. We have purchased our own zoo and soon you can come and play with the big bad monkey through the bars.
"Also, Howard Stern called. We are dressing Roger up like Rachel in a little pink plaid skirt and taking him on the show to do anal with Howard and the dwarf. A star is born!"
Caitlin paused at the conclusion of the story, out of breath.
"That is one hell of a story!" Sal marveled. "You should write for that erotic website where we got those stories we read the last time we spent time together in a Jacuzzi."
"Speaking of a Jacuzzi," Kim suggested, "Let’s go back up to our suite and get nekkid and get wet."
Half an hour later they were in the Jacuzzi which seemed like it could easily fit another dozen people.
"Did somebody bring Big Bob?" Caitlin inquired, referring to the thirteen inch double dong the three girls had so much fun with before.
"Caitlin?" Sal asked pensively, "I know you don’t think girls playing with girls is a sin, but why? You gave us your diatribe on King Solomon and his hundreds of wives and concubines, and what they did to keep the interest up. I’ve listened to self-righteous holier-than-thou types all my life, what with my father being in politics and all. Preachers, priests and politicians, what scum of the earth."
"Hey Sal, go read the Song of Solomon, another one of the favorites of our soon to be good buddies, the ‘locust’ Harley riding seducers. The divergent expositions of the Song of Solomon are quite extraordinary. Catholic, Jewish, Fundamentalist and all the rest of the scripture lawyer nincompoops got their own unique version of the story. Hell, they can’t even figure out who is talking when. They just twist the story to fit their own narrow little doctrine. The Song of Solomon is all about erotic love and sex, sex, sex! And it doesn’t have a fucking thing to do with marriage.
"The purpose of Leviticus 18-20, with all those fucking rules, was not to put the shackles on sexual pleasure and eroticism; it was to clearly state rules for procreation. Why? Perhaps God was concerned with pure pedigree, in particular with respect to the seed of the woman through which would come the Messiah. God made it a sin for women to engage in sexual intercourse with angels, you know, the Nephilim. God made it a sin for women to engage in sexual relations with beasts, but who is to say that many human males are not beasts? But God did not make it a sin for women to pleasure other women. Now why do you suppose that is?
"Now, what about this ‘F’ word? Yep, ‘fornication.’ The word ‘fornication’ appears 32 times in the New Testament, translated from the Greek ‘porneia.’ The word means utterly unchaste. The word ‘pornography’ is of course derived from this Greek word. Surprisingly, of these 32 ‘fornications,’ 12 appear in Revelation, and all relate to spiritual unfaithfulness, the harlotry of the worship of false religions and false gods. ‘Fornication’ appears 7 times in 1 Corinthians and the 13 other occurrences are scattered throughout the bible. NOWHERE in all these verses is there ANYTHING that establishes that sex outside of marriage is absolutely prohibited, if ‘fornication’ is kept in the proper context and viewed within the theme of spiritual unfaithfulness and harlotry.
"Speaking of harlotry, I was recently accused of being a harlot because of my views on fornication. One of those self-righteous holier-than-thou types sent me an e-mail regarding something I said on the subject. His nasty-gram started with, ‘How can you preach that we should exalt the things of the flesh is beyond me with all of the clear scripture to the contrary. Repent while there is still time. Do not allow yourself to be consumed by the spirit of Jezebel.’ Then, of course, he quoted Revelation 2:20, ‘Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants, to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols.’ Now, Sal, you mentioned you were a good little Catholic girl, do you know who Jezebel was?"
"Yes indeed, I was a Catholic goody-two-shoes. The nuns never even slapped my hands. Of course I know about Jezebel; a Phoenician princess, daughter of the king of the Zidonians. She married a king of Israel, Ahab, and led him astray."
"Sal," Caitlin joked, "I’m sure you were a goody-two-shoes but look at you now. They should have locked you up in a convent. Jezebel led the king of Israel astray you say? God was so pissed off He said, II Kings 9:2, ‘… I will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall …’ and it was prophesied Jezebel would be eaten by dogs and she was. II Kings 9:35, ‘And they went to bury her: but they found no more of her than the skull, and the feet, and the palms of her hands.’ Jezebel, the ultimate historical whore, met her fate, as will Jezebel, the ultimate spiritual whore.
"Jezebel, as portrayed in Revelation 2, is thought by some to be the ‘Whore of Revelation.’ Many consider the Church of Rome to be that great harlot. Perhaps they are one and the same.
"One contemporary author who considers the Church of Rome with venom is Jack Chick. To quote from his book, Smokescreens, Chapter Four: The Whore of Revelation, ‘And on her forehead was a name written, MYSYERY, BABYLON THE GREAT. Where did Catholicism come from? If you do a little research you’ll find it came from the ancient Babylonian mysteries, and you can trace it right back to Nimrod and Semiramis. Only the names were changed to make it look like a Christian organization … Who would you say the whore of Revelation is? Is it something that will come in the future, or are we stuck with it right now? Beloved, it is obvious the whore of Revelation is the Roman Catholic Institution and God HATES it! He wants His people to come out of it so that His love can be manifested.’ A rather famous book with a similar theme is The Two Babylons by Alexander Hislop."
Kim interjected, "Caitlin, didn’t George W. Bush get himself into a little trouble at Bob Jones University when this very subject was brought up?"
"Yeah, he sure did. Bob Jones University, that’s the institution of higher learning that prohibits interracial dating."
"Well, Caitlin," Sal asked, "why then is the Catholic church any worse than some of these self-righteous holier-than-thou religious institutions?"
"Some would say it is not. The Church of Rome was the first harlot, the mother of harlots as some would say, but many others followed, particularly in more recent centuries."
"You know what, Caitlin," Sal concluded, "that makes perfect sense to me. I ain’t gonna argue that point. I no longer have much use for the Pope or anything else Catholic, which totally pisses off my father."
"Well, good. Not only are the Catholics pissed off at me, so are the atheists with whom I also have a running battle. I engaged in a heated debate with a militant group of atheists. Finally they threw up their hands in frustration and got real nasty. The head honcho of the bunch said this to and about me as we were bantering back and forth on an online newsgroup, ‘Idiot. You are standing in front of a tornado with your mother. The tornado picks up your mother and smashes her against a tree but you are spared. Isn’t God wonderful for sparing me? Fuck Mom. At least she’s with God now. Now get the fuck out of here and don’t come back.’ Then when I wouldn’t leave he said ‘Why did Caitlin trade her girlfriend in for an outhouse? Because the hole was smaller and the smell was better.’ Pretty rotten, ‘eh?"
"Caitlin?" Sal became very serious, "what do you think about incest? Is it morally or spiritually wrong, in your opinion?"
"Well, it’s not the unforgivable sin, that’s for damn sure. Let’s see, incest. It appears to me a case could be made that Jesus Christ descended from incestuous fornication, as did King David, since they supposedly share the same ancestor, Pharez, who was begotten through Judah’s fornication with Tamar, his daughter-in-law.
"The word ‘incest’ does not appear in the bible. It is from the Latin ‘incestus’ which means ‘unchaste.’ The dictionary definition of ‘incest’ is ‘sexual relations between persons so closely related that their marriage is illegal or forbidden by custom.’ The ‘illegal’ presents some difficulty because different countries and different states have varied definitions. The medieval church defined even spiritual relationships such as marriages between godparents and their godchildren and immediate members of their godparents’ families to be incestuous.
"The biblical concept of incest seems to be fairly well outlined in Leviticus, chapters 18 and 20, beginning with Leviticus 18:6, "None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their nakedness …" Then numerous specific examples are mentioned, such as 18:15, "Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy daughter in law …’
"Then we have the rather interesting verse, Leviticus 20:16, ‘And if a woman approach unto any beast, and lie down thereto, thou shalt kill the woman, and the beast …’ So I guess anybody who screwed the Scotsquatch in my story might be in big trouble."
Kim began to giggle. "Sal, why did you ask about incest?"
"I had sex with my father, the governor," Sal confessed guiltily.
"What?" Kim practically screamed. "Did he molest you, rape you, what?"
"No, no," Sal explained, "I seduced him. It had been my intention for quite some time and it happened when I was a junior in college and home for Christmas vacation. I had already had sex with my younger brother, just to teach him the ropes so to speak, but I was incredibly attracted sexually to my father. He does that to women you know."
"Well, tell us the fucking story, will you, Sal?" Caitlin demanded.
"Daddy was waiting for me at the front door when I arrived home for Christmas break. We hugged and kissed and I started crying. ‘Oh Daddy, I missed you so much! I’m so sorry I didn’t make it home for Thanksgiving. Gobble, gobble!’
"Daddy consoled me with, ‘That’s OK, Honey, I understand. With all the snow and everything, I’m glad you didn’t risk traveling. I suppose you girls were really bored, being stranded at the sorority house for the holiday.
"I lied, ‘Yes, Daddy, it was awful! Just sitting around with nothing to do. I wanted so much to be with you.’ Of course I didn’t tell Daddy we sorority sisters had a real wild and crazy orgy over Thanksgiving, but I’ll tell you that story some other time.
"Daddy responded, ‘Talking about your brother, he has a girlfriend. Her name is Samantha. Well, you’ll meet her, but she is gorgeous and a couple years older than Danny. He’s been going with her ever since that Halloween party you dropped him and his friend Ryan off at. For the life of me I can’t understand what that girl sees in your brother.’
"I couldn’t help my fit of giggling and I had to bite my tongue before I replied. ‘Danny has a girlfriend? Oh my. Well, he is smart. Maybe he knows something the other guys don’t.’ Of course, I didn’t tell Daddy about the lesson about the birds and bees I had given Danny and Ryan just before that party."
"I had noticed the Santa suit in the downstairs front closet when I hung up my coat. ‘Hey, Daddy, what’s up with the Santa suit?’
"Daddy explained to me how he got drafted to play Santa at the company X-mas party. ‘In fact, I have to be there in an hour so I best get going," he said regretfully.
"Daddy quickly got dressed in his outfit. I stood outside the bathroom door talking to him while he was getting ready. ‘Bring me back a present, Daddy," I begged.
"I was quite impressed when he came out of the bathroom. I had the urge to knock his fake beard off right then and there. ‘What kind of present would you like, Honey?’ he asked.
"I did my best Elisabeth Shue impression and cooed seductively, ‘Something sexy, Daddy. And when you get back, will you play Santa with me. Oh please? I’ll sit on your lap and tell you what I want in my stocking.’
"A little embarrassed he seemed at my boldness, and Daddy knew I wanted to fuck him, but he kept playing the game. ‘Aren’t you a little old for that, Honey?’
"I shrieked, ‘What, for lap dancing? Not!’ Daddy blushed and we both convulsed in laughter.
"Daddy left for the party and I went upstairs to my bedroom. I was exhausted and shucked off my clothes except for my panties and crawled under the covers for a nap. I must have been asleep for more than an hour when I heard my brother Danny and his best friend come in the front door. They were talking loudly and making quite a racket. The boys were talking about sex. What else do teenage dudes talk about?
"Ryan was telling Danny that he finally persuaded his new girlfriend, Angela, to suck his cock. He said they watched a porn flick last night and he told her to just do what they were doing in the movie. ‘Angela has a lot to learn, Danny,’ Ryan complained, ‘but she has great potential. She spit it out but I told her if she swallows next time I’ll take her to the mall and buy her a new game for her Sega Dream Cast.’
"They began arguing about who had a bigger cock. Danny insisted his was longer and Ryan insisted his was thicker. Ah, teenage boys and their enormous egos. Then they get older and nothing much changes except they put on weight and eventually their hair turns gray.
"Danny and Ryan must have seen my suitcase sitting in the living room because they shut up. They crept up the stairs looking for me. I pretended I was still asleep as they tiptoed in and stood beside my bed.
"Ryan reached over and pulled the blanket down to my waist. ‘Danny,’ he marveled, ‘your sister is still the best. Look at those hooters! I shot my wad at least a hundred times on that cheerleader pic of her you sold me.’
"At that I jumped up and screamed ‘Boo!’ and you should have seen those two jump. ‘You two dirt bags get your clothes off and get your asses in bed with me. And tell me what happened!’ I demanded. They shed their clothes quickly and got in, one on each side of me.
"I never did hear the story of what really happened on Halloween but I was sure as hell about to. Oh my, I was getting hot listening to them tell about their first experiences with tight little teenage pussy and they were getting hot telling about it. Finally I couldn’t stand it any longer and I made one fuck me while the other one talked.
"Danny said with that look of worship on his face, ‘Sis, we can’t ever thank you enough for teaching us what to do. You wouldn’t believe how impressed Samantha was. Well, she didn’t exactly say that but I could sure tell the way she was squirming and yelling. And we are still together, almost two months later. Wait until you meet her!’
"Ryan then bragged he had three girlfriends since that fateful Halloween, the latest being Angela. He made me laugh when he said he wasn’t ready to settle down yet and then surprised me with his next comments. ‘Yeah, and my second girlfriend, Anais, she told me I was a much better lover than any of her other boyfriends and even better than her father. Well that just shocked the shit out of me. I didn’t know whether or not to believe her and I wasn’t about to ask questions. You know, about her and her daddy. Do you really think that sort of stuff goes on?’ I tried to ignore Ryan’s question until I could compose myself and I hoped they couldn’t tell I was blushing."
"Sal," Caitlin interrupted, "before you tell us what you said about incest, how about telling us what exactly you taught these two boys. I’m dying of curiosity about what made two geeks great lovers overnight. Did you perform a miracle, or what?"
"Yeah, me too! Tell us!" Kim agreed enthusiastically.
"Well, OK," Sal acquiesced. She paused for a few moments to collect her thoughts.
"Danny and Ryan were complaining that girls ignored them. ‘What girls would have sex with us, Sis?" Danny whined. "We are geeks. Girls talk to us when they have computer problems, but other than that we don’t exist. The jock types get all the pussy.’
"Well, my brother was crying and his friend Ryan looked suicidal, so I figured, what the hell. I said, ‘OK, I’ll tell you guys what. You have to learn sometime. I’ll teach you about the birds and the bees. But first, you have some chores to do.’ I made a long list, including washing and waxing my car and fixing my laptop computer I couldn’t get rebooted."
"Five hours later they told me the tasks I had given them had been completed. They even put an upgrade and a bunch of cool software on my laptop. I began the private lessons."
"I started with rule number one. ‘First rule, you please the girl first. If you do, she’ll always reciprocate enthusiastically and come back for more. Now, I want you two to pay attention very closely.’ I removed my clothes and by the time I got to my bra and panties, I thought four eyes were about to pop out of two stupid heads."
"I sat on Danny’s bed and spread my legs. ‘This is a clitoris,’ I lectured as I put my finger on mine. ‘Very important. This to a girl is what your sorry little dicks are to you, get it? Danny, you go first,’ I ordered, ‘I want you to lick my clitoris. Ryan, you can kiss my breasts and nibble on my nipples while he is doing that. But keep your dicks in your pants for now.’
"I screamed as soon as Danny started, ‘Shit! Not like that Danny! You are not wolfing down a cheeseburger. Lick slowly, gently. OK, that’s better, that’s good.’ Yeow, it was better than good. I really started squirming with the eagerness of his virgin tongue. ‘Danny, I knew you had to have talent for something!’ I stammered as I came for the first time.
"Then I turned to Ryan, ‘You try it.’ This kid was smart. He paid attention and didn’t make the same mistakes Danny did. This went on until their tongues were swollen and they were having difficulty speaking intelligibly. That was nothing new but you could tell the difference between stupidity and overdosing on cunt juice."
"Well, to make a long story short, Danny and Ryan got a chance to demonstrate what I had taught them that very evening, which was Halloween. I took them out trick or treating and they met some girls who invited them to a party. I had to go back to school early the next morning so I didn’t find out until X-Mas break that they got more pussy that night than you can find at a cat farm.
"OK, back to Daddy," Sal continued. "I thought I better address Ryan’s question about incest, both for his good and mine. ‘Ryan, look at it this way, if the bible is true, then I guess we all got here via incest one way or another, now didn’t we?’ Doh! I mean, there I am fucking my brother while Ryan is watching and he asks a question whether this sort of thing goes on.
"Just as I was explaining this to Ryan, we heard Daddy come home. The boys threw on their clothes in panic and rushed out of the bedroom. They got all scared for naught. Daddy was so beat from playing Santa he just flopped in his favorite chair and was still snoozing when I went downstairs a couple hours later. Danny had left with Ryan for who knows where.
"I noticed the shopping bag sitting next to Daddy. Hmmm. Victoria’s Secret. What’s up with that I wondered. I just couldn’t imagine Daddy shopping there and my curiosity raged. I flipped on the TV and made a lot of noise so he would wake up.
"Finally Daddy opened his eyes groggily and started to focus. As soon as he was somewhat coherent, and he sure looked silly sitting there in that Santa suit, I asked, ‘Daddy, what in the world is in that bag?’ The conversation that followed went like this …
‘Nothing, Honey. I just needed a bag and somebody gave me that one.’
‘I think you are lying, Daddy. Remember what happened to Pinocchio? Isn’t your nose big enough? Now tell me! Please, pretty please?’
‘OK, OK, you’ll never let up until I tell you. Well, what the hell, I just might let you see. It’s a little something for you, Honey. But are you sure you can’t wait until X-mas?’
‘You know damn well I can’t, Daddy. Can I peek?’
‘Why do you always get your own way with me? Just like your mother used to do.’
‘OK, I’m looking in the bag now, Daddy.’
"Whatever it was in the box was wrapped so beautifully I knew Daddy didn’t do it. Oh my, I was totally shocked. Not often am I speechless. It was a very sexy black sheer body stocking with long sleeves and an open crotch. I held it up. It had a scoop neckline and slender spaghetti straps."
‘Daddy! I can’t believe you. I love it! Only question, who in the world am I going to wear this for?’
‘For me, Honey.’
‘Now why didn’t I think of that? I’d like to go put it on right now. Would you like that, Daddy?’
"I didn’t wait for an answer and ran off to the bathroom. Ten minutes later I immerged in my new outfit, along with spiked heels. I painted my face and teased my hair. Daddy looked rather, well, you know, what’s the right word? I got right on his lap."
‘OK, Santa, tell me what every little girl wants to hear. Tell me how much you love good little girls and how you are going to give them everything they want. But I’m not a good little girl, Santa, at least not all the time. Sometimes I’m a bad girl. I think you should spank me!’
"I switched positions and laid across his lap. My Daddy had never spanked me or hit me. He put his hand on my behind and gently felt the fishnet material. I could immediately tell he was becoming aroused. But he still wouldn’t smack me."
‘Daddy, spank me! I’m bad! I’m really bad!"
"But Daddy still wouldn’t smack me. He just kept playing with my ass over the fishnet. I was facing the beautifully decorated tree. ‘Daddy, do you know that X-mas trees are actually phallic symbols?’ With that I unzipped the pants of his Santa suit. I didn’t even have to pull it out. It just sorta somehow popped right out."
‘Daddy, remember what I told you when we talked on the phone on Thanksgiving? That my X-mas gift for you rhymes with snow job? I want you in my mouth. All of you. I want to feel you throb and pulsate and give it up. I want to swallow you. Gobble, gobble!’ And then I did."
"Daddy and I slept together that night and the next night and every other night I could persuade Danny to get lost and stay at Ryan’s. I could go into more detail about what Daddy and I did but I’d rather not. Let’s just say we did everything you can think of, including anal. My Daddy loves anal, although I’m not sure if he really enjoyed our murder suspect Lilith’s version of anal."
"Sal," Kim asked seriously, "where was your mother during all this? You haven't mentioned her."
"This is confidential information, please don’t ever tell anyone. If it gets out it will ruin my father’s political career. Just like if the story of my father’s assignation with Lilith ever gets out his career and ambitions are dog shit. My mother was in a mental institution for a year; suicidal depression and schizophrenia. Innovations in treatment have allowed her to lead a relatively normal life in recent years. She takes a lot of drugs."
"I’m so sorry," Caitlin sympathized.
"Yeah, well, thanks, but things seemed to be going better for my family, until this Lilith thing. My mother came home a few months after that X-mas and my Daddy and I never were intimate sexually again. Caitlin, am I doomed to hell for what I did with my father and brother?"
"It’s not the unforgivable sin, Sal."
"What is?" Sal asked urgently.
Just then Jack walked into the room. He pulled up a chair next to the Jacuzzi. "What are you girls talking about?"
"The unforgivable sin," Caitlin responded.
"Well, good," Jack nodded in agreement, "because that’s what I want to talk to you three about. The unforgivable sins you may have to commit with our three Harley riding ‘locusts,’ Araqiel, Kakabel and Penemue.
To Be Continued…
Caitlin, Kim and Sal rode their Harleys from Dyer, Nevada, across the border and into California, heading north. They crossed back into Nevada at Topaz Lake and headed up I-395 to Reno.
Right up to the casino-hotel where Thomas Peterson had been murdered they rode. Jack had reserved the other super suite for them. Peterson lost his penis and his life in the Roman Super Suite. The three ladies were staying in the Safari Super Suite.
"This is incredible!" Sal gasped as she surveyed their accommodations.
"Hey, you are a governor’s daughter, girl." Kim chuckled. "What, do they make you stay in Motel 6?"
"No, no, but this is awesome. I love the Jacuzzi in this living room, the elephant head searching for a watering hole and the native water carriers."
"Yeah, really," Caitlin added, "I wonder if the natives are cannibals, ‘eh? I like the dome over the Jacuzzi with the three sky scenes, daytime, nighttime and starry night. So where is the Sasquatch?"
"That elephant head and the charging rhinoceros on the first floor are sculpted from fiberglass," Kim offered. "Look at the ceilings. That is Rhodesian walnut imported from England."
The three checked out the three bedrooms and the five baths, all of which featured full-size steam showers. When they got to the master bedroom, each looked at the other.
"I’ll take this bedroom," Kim said assertively.
"I don’t think so," Caitlin retorted. "We’ll all sleep here."
The master bedroom had an eight-foot by eight-foot king’s king bed draped in silk mosquito netting and was surrounded by a sitting area. A beautiful soft white leather sofa sat at the end of the gigantic bed.
"Hey, I’m famished!" Caitlin exclaimed, after they had closely scrutinized everything about their new digs.
"Let’s try the Italian cuisine," Kim suggested, and mentioned the name of one of the seven restaurants in this fabulous place.
"But you’re not Italian," Sal chided.
"No, I’m not, Sal, I’m black and a little bit of something else. You are definitely blonde. So I like Italian. Don’t you like southern-fried chicken and some of the other favorites of us black folk?"
"Uh, it’s OK but I prefer lobster."
"Yeah, whatever, you two," Caitlin interrupted, quite irritated. "Let’s eat some food rather than talk about it."
"Geez, Caitlin," Kim whined, "you are always hungry. I suppose later you’ll go out for pizza and tell us another bullshit story about blowing the dudes you met at the pizza shop."
"Nope," Caitlin smirked, "this time I’ll tell you another story about Roger the Scotsquatch. This one involves not only fucking chicks, but fucking chickens as well."
"Yeah, right," Sal snorted sarcastically.
"Well, let’s just go chow down, shall we?" Caitlin asked but insisted in conclusion of the matter.
The restaurant had a dining area covered by an enchanted skydome, ringed with softly glowing torches. The sky scene drifted from sunset into starry twilight as soft northern lights appeared and then a meteor shower streamed by, accompanied by dramatic music. What the three ladies found most intriguing was the large statue of the Roman hero Antinous and two naked maidens which revolved around and around.
"Hey, I’m getting dizzy," Caitlin complained. "We better order."
Sal had the Carpaccio di Manzo, Ripieno al Profumo di Tarfufo, also known as beef and lobster. The beef tenderloin was thinly sliced and quite rare. After the first hungry bite, Sal squealed, "Geez, you are looking at me like I’m a cannibal. So I like rare meat." Her lobster tail was served with caper berries, parmigiano-reggiano cheese, white truffle oil and lamb’s lettuce.
Kim ordered the Quaglie Grigliante Servite sul Letto di Polenta all’ Asiago. She toyed with the grilled quail skewered with exotic vinegar and honey sauces.
"If you don’t want that, Kim, just pass your plate this way," Caitlin said with a wink. Caitlin had quickly finished her Vongole Veraci all Mediterranea con Brusshette Dorate; manila clams braised in a special white wine sauce. "Clams enhance the female libido, you know."
Throughout dinner the three discussed cannibalism. Kim recalled for Sal the conversations she and Caitlin had about the Aztecs and others inclined to eat human flesh. Caitlin talked about Anasazi cannibalism in southwestern Colorado almost a thousand years ago. Kim related stories about cannibalistic serial murderers.
"Please, no more Jeffrey Dahmer jokes, Kim," Caitlin begged.
"No, no, but here is one I haven’t told before. Alexander "Sawney" Bean was born near Edinburgh during the time of King James. Right, the bible dude. He moved to County Galloway and he and his wife lived in a cave near the shore. They had many children and grandchildren, all the result of incest. Now, this Bean dude needed a means to feed all these kids. He robbed passers-by and the victims became dinner. He and the little ones dragged the bodies back to the cave, had a snack and pickled the rest for later. In fact, they had so much ‘food’ they just threw much away into the sea. Severed limbs and body parts that washed up on the shore alarmed the local community and …"
"Oh, shit, Kim, would you stop please!" Sal demanded. "I’m going to vomit if you keep this up. Caitlin, please tell that story you were talking about." "Yeah, OK, Sal. You are a little too morbid for me, too, Kim."
"Hey," Kim protested, "I heard of this dude named Flagg who likes to fuck dead girls. And then he eats them and I’m not talking cunnilingus here, and …"
"Shut the fuck up, Kim!" Sal screamed. "I’d much rather hear Caitlin’s close encounters of the strange kind. Please, Caitlin, begin your story."
"OK. Several months after our initial encounter with Roger the Scotsquatch, Gloria and I decided it was time for a return trip to the woods. It wasn't just about the sex. We developed a strategic business plan to become rich and famous.
"Gloria, quite the liberated squaw, had hunted and trapped animals for years. She suggested that we attempt to capture Roger. Not just for our own prurient purposes, but in order to further our mutual interest in becoming independently wealthy.
"We had told some of our girlfriends about our sexual escapades with Roger. To say that the girlfriends were interested in getting a little of this big dick would be an understatement; they were fucking drooling.
"Gloria mused, ‘You know, all this talk about whether or not girls like big dicks is bullshit. Remember when our friend Virginia kept asking whether it more pleasurable to get fucked by a big penis? Doh!’
"I responded, ‘Yeah right, and how would Virgin-ya know anyway?’
"Gloria continued, ‘That bitch fight between Ginger and Simply was entertaining. Simply said, "Size DOES matter. They SAY it’s all in how you wiggle the worm, but if you have a three inch worm all the wiggling in the world won't help." Ginger countered with, "My point is that good sex like anything else takes a little timing and a whole lot of abandoned notions. Each person is different and each has his or her own unique way of making it exciting." How did Simply get the nickname Simply anyway?’
"Simply is from the south and a lawyer, remember? I mean, whenever we party and get down to the fucking and sucking, don't we always have to tell her, 'It's time to git nekkid, girl' and such? Don't you recall that game Simple Simply Says we played with those mentally challenged but quite well-endowed boys from the group home?’
"Yes I sure do; talk about dumb fucks. But Simply did get us out of jail that time we got busted for 'disturbing the piece.' I still can't see what the big deal about playing with your pussy in public is, anyway."
"Yeah, really," I agreed, "ya know, I simply can't wait until Ginger finds out Roger's way of making it exciting is twenty inches. She will be singing a different tune when Roger fills up her tank. I bet Ginger won't call Roger 'Needledick the Bug Fucker' like she does the other guys she has been with.
"We had another friend, Endlessly was her nickname, and guess what she liked endlessly. Right, anal. She took a little trip to New York City with us. Of course, we are all fans of Howard Stern and we just had to be on his show. You know how Howard always asks the girls on his show, ‘Do you do anal?’ When he asked Endlessly, she just lifted her skirt, dropped her panties and bent over. That dwarf who hangs out on Howard's show came right up behind her and slipped it up her bum. OMG! He's pretty dang big for a little dude.
"We knew our girlfriends wanted it; we knew they wanted it big. Click, click. Capture the dude with the biggest dick ever, and would we score or what? The word "pimp" did cross our minds.
"Gloria and I decided to capture Roger, bring him back to civilization, let him fuck our girlfriends in the mouth, wouldn't that just shut them up, and up the ass for free, but charge everybody else. The thought also crossed our minds we might take him on the Howard Stern show for one of those anal episodes. Like, really, who couldn't Roger make squeal? Ned Beatty was good in Deliverance but we couldn't wait until Roger had Ginger, Simply and Endlessly squealing like the three little pigs. Talking about spanking the monkey, this would be turnabout fair play and the monkey would get revenge."
"Gloria recalled fondly, ‘I love that movie Deliverance and when the toothless hillbilly gives it to Ned up the ass. And then the other toothless hillbilly tells Jon Voight he has a nice mouth and is about to stick his cock in Jon's mouth when Burt Reynolds shoots the toothless one with an arrow.’"
"I responded, ‘Well the dueling banjo scene was my favorite, but talking about Jon Voight and his nice mouth, how about his daughter, Angelina Jolie? Nice lips, 'eh? And she is bisexual so she says. How would you like those smackers sucking on your clit? Angelina reminds me of you, Caitlin. She is very interested in vampires and such and has the Japanese word for death tattooed on her shoulder. I heard she wanted to be a funeral director before she became an actress.’"
"Gloria and I went back to the woods where we had last seen Roger and his big fat Roger. We had the trap in the back of her truck."
"I complimented Gloria, ‘That’s one hell of a trap. How did you make it, again?’ I inquired."
"Gloria responded, ‘Oh, it was nothing really. I just expanded my old trap. You know, the one I use for, well, never mind. There are sixteen notches on my belt. See? Tell me that rat sandwich story again, please Caitlin?’ she begged."
"Oh, OK. I got the idea of culinary delights from one of my teen angel experiences. My first real boyfriend was like 16 and I was 15. He had a car and when he picked me up he would never come to the door; just beep in the driveway. The only place this dude ever took me was on a ride down some deserted road where he would feel my tits and whine until I jerked him off.
"When this asshole dropped me off at home he would order me to go make him a sandwich. 'What, am I your waitress and fucking slave?' I spat at him as I got out of his car on our final date. I simply had enough of this crap but I did make him one last sandwich; with Alpo. You should have seen the look on his face as he chewed up that first bite. It was worth the smack he gave me that ended our relationship.
"The dude never would have know what it was exactly but he asked, 'What the hell is this?' I could have said a new variety of Spam but I burst out laughing and told him, 'You are what you eat, dog breath. That's dog food. You want a Milk-Bone for dessert?' I just couldn't resist the urge to tell.
"Well, it was deja vu with the barbecued rat sandwich. I kept him, I specifically ordered a male rat, frozen until the annual company picnic. He ended up on the plate of one who I particularly despised because of his despicable treatment of women. A picture is worth a thousand words and so was the look on his face when he tasted that ratburger. I can't believe he ate the whole thing!
"You know where I got the rat. That place in the UK where we get all of our delicacies. The place where we got the Spanish Fly we are going to use on Roger. The rats come frozen and you can choose from four different sizes and several different varieties. I mean, you can get all sorts of live beetles, locusts and other bugs, including the emerald green blister beetle, the Lytta Vesicatoria, more commonly known as the Spanish Fly. End of that story, back to Roger the Scotsquatch.
"Ginger, Simply and Endlessly were a little surprised when we asked them for their soiled panties but they cooperated because they were begging us to go get the ‘gorilla with the thrilla.’ How could Roger refuse this bait? We thought it would work a little like ether. One whiff and he's dead meat, but just temporarily, thank the Lord!
"We set the trap and covered it with branches and leaves. A trail of panties for about a hundred yards led right into the trap. We went back to our campsite and crashed. In the morning when we returned guess what we caught.
"Roger had three dead chickens in his hand that we asked him about. ‘What's up with the chickens, Rog?’ I asked."
"Roger explained, ‘Dinner, my dears. I don't like to whack the chickens' heads off. I just fuck them to death.’ I was in shock but Gloria seemed interested."
"Gloria inquired, ‘How do you catch them, Rog?’ She was dead serious and hung on the big monkey’s every word."
"I seduce them with my charm. The conversation goes something like this, 'Yo chickie, wanna pluck? I don't like fish anyway. Don't I just remind you so much of Colonel Sanders?' When I stick my dick in the chicks they start jumping around just like when they have been decapitated and before long they are in chickie heaven.’ I don’t make chickens give me head, but chicks are an entirely different matter."
"I cautioned him, ‘Well, Rog, we have some fucking chicks for you, but please don't fuck them to death. Geez, without the girlfriends our Tupperware parties would be pretty dang boring.’
"We hauled Roger back to civilization, took him to Ginger's house and Simply and Endlessly met us there. Of course we left Roger in the cage because we didn't totally trust him. After all, he is a man. Well, partly man, we think. No one will know for sure unless an autopsy is completed, which we threatened Roger with if he wasn't a good boy.
"Now, knowing Ginger, Simply and Endlessly like we do, we were a little concerned Roger's libido might not be up to the challenge. So we helped his libido along a little. We made him a chicken sandwich with a liberal dose of the Spanish Fly mixed with the mayonaisse.
"Gloria whispered to me as we made the sandwich, ‘You know the Marquis de Sade utilized a concoction of these pulverized beetles to entice young ladies to participate in his orgies. Unfortunately he occasionally used a little too much and poisoned his female friends. Cantharidin is the poisonous substance in these pulverized beetles. Normally two grams will result in a fatality within a few hours. Not to get medically technical, but prior to death the preliminary symptom is priapism; a hard-on that won't go away no matter what.’ She began to giggle as I prepared the love potion."
"I laughed out loud as I measured out four grams for Roger's sandwich. ‘Hey, he's a big dude, everywhere,’ I chortled to Gloria."
"The minute Ginger, Simply and Endlessly set eyes on Roger and that gorilla thrilla they started squirming like they had to pee. And then Roger started talking, saying stuff like ‘a squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast 'n' bulbous, got me.’ The girls were mesmerized, and let me tell you, these three were on fire!"
"Simply cooed, ‘I know that I am very attracted to very big, very strong, overly manly men. I like to be able to smell the testosterone and it also helps if they like to monkey around.’ Endlessly just nodded, with her tongue hanging out."
"Gloria instructed the three, ‘Git nekkid and start plucking like chickens. That is the variety of chick Roger is used to plucking but it won't take him long to adjust to new pussy.’
"There was a whole lot of squawking going on and it mostly was about who was going first.
"Ginger was playing with herself and staring in shock at Roger's rigid penis sticking through the bars of the cage. ‘I have never seen one nearly that big before! You could use that dang thing for a baseball bat.’
"I advised, ‘You ain't seen nothing yet honey. Here, rub some of this on it." I gave her the "real" Miracle Grow to play rub-a-dub-dub with.
"I found this miracle potion to make dicks bigger in what is probably the greatest literary work of erotica ever published, The Perfumed Garden of Sheik Nefzaoui. You surely remember that book. It is the favorite literary work of our ‘locusts’ who are prompting beautiful women to disappear. I this book you will find the best method for increasing the size of the penis. Prepare a powder of pepper, lavender, galanga and musk. Mix it with honey and preserved ginger and just rub it on. To quote from the book, "The member will then grow large and brawny, and afford a marvelous feeling of voluptuousness.’
"Ginger was rubbing the ointment I prepared on Roger's cock and he was moaning deliriously. ‘It's getting even bigger!’ she exclaimed incredulously.
"I began reading the Kama Sutra. Opening the book in the middle, I began with the Vadavaka or Mare's Trick. ‘Like a mare cruelly gripping a stallion, you trap and milk your lover's penis with your vagina.’
"I read one paragraph. That's all the further I got. Nobody was paying any attention to me.
"Ginger jumped up and pressed her ass up against the bars of the cage. I mean, she was thumping it with her butt. It took Roger about two seconds to realize what was happening and he stuck it right in her from behind. I think monkeys have a knot like a dog because she couldn't get loose. Once she got accustomed to the enormity of the moment, and Roger's member, she pounded right back at him from outside the cage as he pounded away at her from inside the cage.
"It didn't take Ginger long, she was like a bitch in heat. They were making enough noise to wake George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. She screamed loudly when she came and Roger followed soon behind. Ginger somehow managed to shake loose just as Roger got off and he shot streams and streams of cum all over her ass.
"Roger's huge cock was still erect and still sticking through the bars of the cage. All the documentation I read about Spanish Fly was correct. You never got rid of the hard-on.
"Endlessly winked and whispered, ‘Watch me make that Roger disappear. I've been practicing my deepthroating techniques on giant sausages, those two foot ones you get from Dick's Deli. OMG, there's always a long line at that place; all women licking their lips with their hands down their panties.’
"Roger was just going absolutely wild as Endlessly sucked his cock through the bars. He kind of reminded me of an Elvis impersonator. Unfortunately Roger made the mistake of saying, ‘No chicken ever got all of me in her mouth like that!’
"Endlessly bit him very hard and he screamed. She relaxed her grip and pulled him out and he came all over her face. Then she stood up and pressed her face up against the cage. Roger kissed her passionately and licked his own cum off her face.
"Roger was still hard and Simply looked like a crazed zombie from all this watching and not getting any. She put her feet through the second rung of bars and her arms through the fourth rung with her hands around Roger's neck. He entered her.
"Fifteen minutes later Simply had marks all over her body from pressing up against the bars and her voice was hoarse from all the screaming and yelling. I mean, she was really going apeshit for this ape and kept chanting, ‘I smell the testosterone!’
"Gloria and I decided to go home and get some sleep. Eight hours later we went back. Damn! They all were still going at it. I could not understand why Roger was not in a state of rigor mortis because of the Spanish Fly. His Roger was quite stiff but that was all.
"The girls had let Roger out of the cage and had him spread-eagled and cuffed to the bed by his wrists and ankles. Ginger, Simply and Endlessly were taking turns jumping on rigid Roger. The girls looked like predators; tiger ladies lusting after meat.
"Obviously Gloria and I were extremely pleased with the results of our test marketing of the Roger's Roger. His services will soon be made available to the general public. We have purchased our own zoo and soon you can come and play with the big bad monkey through the bars.
"Also, Howard Stern called. We are dressing Roger up like Rachel in a little pink plaid skirt and taking him on the show to do anal with Howard and the dwarf. A star is born!"
Caitlin paused at the conclusion of the story, out of breath.
"That is one hell of a story!" Sal marveled. "You should write for that erotic website where we got those stories we read the last time we spent time together in a Jacuzzi."
"Speaking of a Jacuzzi," Kim suggested, "Let’s go back up to our suite and get nekkid and get wet."
Half an hour later they were in the Jacuzzi which seemed like it could easily fit another dozen people.
"Did somebody bring Big Bob?" Caitlin inquired, referring to the thirteen inch double dong the three girls had so much fun with before.
"Caitlin?" Sal asked pensively, "I know you don’t think girls playing with girls is a sin, but why? You gave us your diatribe on King Solomon and his hundreds of wives and concubines, and what they did to keep the interest up. I’ve listened to self-righteous holier-than-thou types all my life, what with my father being in politics and all. Preachers, priests and politicians, what scum of the earth."
"Hey Sal, go read the Song of Solomon, another one of the favorites of our soon to be good buddies, the ‘locust’ Harley riding seducers. The divergent expositions of the Song of Solomon are quite extraordinary. Catholic, Jewish, Fundamentalist and all the rest of the scripture lawyer nincompoops got their own unique version of the story. Hell, they can’t even figure out who is talking when. They just twist the story to fit their own narrow little doctrine. The Song of Solomon is all about erotic love and sex, sex, sex! And it doesn’t have a fucking thing to do with marriage.
"The purpose of Leviticus 18-20, with all those fucking rules, was not to put the shackles on sexual pleasure and eroticism; it was to clearly state rules for procreation. Why? Perhaps God was concerned with pure pedigree, in particular with respect to the seed of the woman through which would come the Messiah. God made it a sin for women to engage in sexual intercourse with angels, you know, the Nephilim. God made it a sin for women to engage in sexual relations with beasts, but who is to say that many human males are not beasts? But God did not make it a sin for women to pleasure other women. Now why do you suppose that is?
"Now, what about this ‘F’ word? Yep, ‘fornication.’ The word ‘fornication’ appears 32 times in the New Testament, translated from the Greek ‘porneia.’ The word means utterly unchaste. The word ‘pornography’ is of course derived from this Greek word. Surprisingly, of these 32 ‘fornications,’ 12 appear in Revelation, and all relate to spiritual unfaithfulness, the harlotry of the worship of false religions and false gods. ‘Fornication’ appears 7 times in 1 Corinthians and the 13 other occurrences are scattered throughout the bible. NOWHERE in all these verses is there ANYTHING that establishes that sex outside of marriage is absolutely prohibited, if ‘fornication’ is kept in the proper context and viewed within the theme of spiritual unfaithfulness and harlotry.
"Speaking of harlotry, I was recently accused of being a harlot because of my views on fornication. One of those self-righteous holier-than-thou types sent me an e-mail regarding something I said on the subject. His nasty-gram started with, ‘How can you preach that we should exalt the things of the flesh is beyond me with all of the clear scripture to the contrary. Repent while there is still time. Do not allow yourself to be consumed by the spirit of Jezebel.’ Then, of course, he quoted Revelation 2:20, ‘Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants, to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols.’ Now, Sal, you mentioned you were a good little Catholic girl, do you know who Jezebel was?"
"Yes indeed, I was a Catholic goody-two-shoes. The nuns never even slapped my hands. Of course I know about Jezebel; a Phoenician princess, daughter of the king of the Zidonians. She married a king of Israel, Ahab, and led him astray."
"Sal," Caitlin joked, "I’m sure you were a goody-two-shoes but look at you now. They should have locked you up in a convent. Jezebel led the king of Israel astray you say? God was so pissed off He said, II Kings 9:2, ‘… I will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall …’ and it was prophesied Jezebel would be eaten by dogs and she was. II Kings 9:35, ‘And they went to bury her: but they found no more of her than the skull, and the feet, and the palms of her hands.’ Jezebel, the ultimate historical whore, met her fate, as will Jezebel, the ultimate spiritual whore.
"Jezebel, as portrayed in Revelation 2, is thought by some to be the ‘Whore of Revelation.’ Many consider the Church of Rome to be that great harlot. Perhaps they are one and the same.
"One contemporary author who considers the Church of Rome with venom is Jack Chick. To quote from his book, Smokescreens, Chapter Four: The Whore of Revelation, ‘And on her forehead was a name written, MYSYERY, BABYLON THE GREAT. Where did Catholicism come from? If you do a little research you’ll find it came from the ancient Babylonian mysteries, and you can trace it right back to Nimrod and Semiramis. Only the names were changed to make it look like a Christian organization … Who would you say the whore of Revelation is? Is it something that will come in the future, or are we stuck with it right now? Beloved, it is obvious the whore of Revelation is the Roman Catholic Institution and God HATES it! He wants His people to come out of it so that His love can be manifested.’ A rather famous book with a similar theme is The Two Babylons by Alexander Hislop."
Kim interjected, "Caitlin, didn’t George W. Bush get himself into a little trouble at Bob Jones University when this very subject was brought up?"
"Yeah, he sure did. Bob Jones University, that’s the institution of higher learning that prohibits interracial dating."
"Well, Caitlin," Sal asked, "why then is the Catholic church any worse than some of these self-righteous holier-than-thou religious institutions?"
"Some would say it is not. The Church of Rome was the first harlot, the mother of harlots as some would say, but many others followed, particularly in more recent centuries."
"You know what, Caitlin," Sal concluded, "that makes perfect sense to me. I ain’t gonna argue that point. I no longer have much use for the Pope or anything else Catholic, which totally pisses off my father."
"Well, good. Not only are the Catholics pissed off at me, so are the atheists with whom I also have a running battle. I engaged in a heated debate with a militant group of atheists. Finally they threw up their hands in frustration and got real nasty. The head honcho of the bunch said this to and about me as we were bantering back and forth on an online newsgroup, ‘Idiot. You are standing in front of a tornado with your mother. The tornado picks up your mother and smashes her against a tree but you are spared. Isn’t God wonderful for sparing me? Fuck Mom. At least she’s with God now. Now get the fuck out of here and don’t come back.’ Then when I wouldn’t leave he said ‘Why did Caitlin trade her girlfriend in for an outhouse? Because the hole was smaller and the smell was better.’ Pretty rotten, ‘eh?"
"Caitlin?" Sal became very serious, "what do you think about incest? Is it morally or spiritually wrong, in your opinion?"
"Well, it’s not the unforgivable sin, that’s for damn sure. Let’s see, incest. It appears to me a case could be made that Jesus Christ descended from incestuous fornication, as did King David, since they supposedly share the same ancestor, Pharez, who was begotten through Judah’s fornication with Tamar, his daughter-in-law.
"The word ‘incest’ does not appear in the bible. It is from the Latin ‘incestus’ which means ‘unchaste.’ The dictionary definition of ‘incest’ is ‘sexual relations between persons so closely related that their marriage is illegal or forbidden by custom.’ The ‘illegal’ presents some difficulty because different countries and different states have varied definitions. The medieval church defined even spiritual relationships such as marriages between godparents and their godchildren and immediate members of their godparents’ families to be incestuous.
"The biblical concept of incest seems to be fairly well outlined in Leviticus, chapters 18 and 20, beginning with Leviticus 18:6, "None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their nakedness …" Then numerous specific examples are mentioned, such as 18:15, "Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy daughter in law …’
"Then we have the rather interesting verse, Leviticus 20:16, ‘And if a woman approach unto any beast, and lie down thereto, thou shalt kill the woman, and the beast …’ So I guess anybody who screwed the Scotsquatch in my story might be in big trouble."
Kim began to giggle. "Sal, why did you ask about incest?"
"I had sex with my father, the governor," Sal confessed guiltily.
"What?" Kim practically screamed. "Did he molest you, rape you, what?"
"No, no," Sal explained, "I seduced him. It had been my intention for quite some time and it happened when I was a junior in college and home for Christmas vacation. I had already had sex with my younger brother, just to teach him the ropes so to speak, but I was incredibly attracted sexually to my father. He does that to women you know."
"Well, tell us the fucking story, will you, Sal?" Caitlin demanded.
"Daddy was waiting for me at the front door when I arrived home for Christmas break. We hugged and kissed and I started crying. ‘Oh Daddy, I missed you so much! I’m so sorry I didn’t make it home for Thanksgiving. Gobble, gobble!’
"Daddy consoled me with, ‘That’s OK, Honey, I understand. With all the snow and everything, I’m glad you didn’t risk traveling. I suppose you girls were really bored, being stranded at the sorority house for the holiday.
"I lied, ‘Yes, Daddy, it was awful! Just sitting around with nothing to do. I wanted so much to be with you.’ Of course I didn’t tell Daddy we sorority sisters had a real wild and crazy orgy over Thanksgiving, but I’ll tell you that story some other time.
"Daddy responded, ‘Talking about your brother, he has a girlfriend. Her name is Samantha. Well, you’ll meet her, but she is gorgeous and a couple years older than Danny. He’s been going with her ever since that Halloween party you dropped him and his friend Ryan off at. For the life of me I can’t understand what that girl sees in your brother.’
"I couldn’t help my fit of giggling and I had to bite my tongue before I replied. ‘Danny has a girlfriend? Oh my. Well, he is smart. Maybe he knows something the other guys don’t.’ Of course, I didn’t tell Daddy about the lesson about the birds and bees I had given Danny and Ryan just before that party."
"I had noticed the Santa suit in the downstairs front closet when I hung up my coat. ‘Hey, Daddy, what’s up with the Santa suit?’
"Daddy explained to me how he got drafted to play Santa at the company X-mas party. ‘In fact, I have to be there in an hour so I best get going," he said regretfully.
"Daddy quickly got dressed in his outfit. I stood outside the bathroom door talking to him while he was getting ready. ‘Bring me back a present, Daddy," I begged.
"I was quite impressed when he came out of the bathroom. I had the urge to knock his fake beard off right then and there. ‘What kind of present would you like, Honey?’ he asked.
"I did my best Elisabeth Shue impression and cooed seductively, ‘Something sexy, Daddy. And when you get back, will you play Santa with me. Oh please? I’ll sit on your lap and tell you what I want in my stocking.’
"A little embarrassed he seemed at my boldness, and Daddy knew I wanted to fuck him, but he kept playing the game. ‘Aren’t you a little old for that, Honey?’
"I shrieked, ‘What, for lap dancing? Not!’ Daddy blushed and we both convulsed in laughter.
"Daddy left for the party and I went upstairs to my bedroom. I was exhausted and shucked off my clothes except for my panties and crawled under the covers for a nap. I must have been asleep for more than an hour when I heard my brother Danny and his best friend come in the front door. They were talking loudly and making quite a racket. The boys were talking about sex. What else do teenage dudes talk about?
"Ryan was telling Danny that he finally persuaded his new girlfriend, Angela, to suck his cock. He said they watched a porn flick last night and he told her to just do what they were doing in the movie. ‘Angela has a lot to learn, Danny,’ Ryan complained, ‘but she has great potential. She spit it out but I told her if she swallows next time I’ll take her to the mall and buy her a new game for her Sega Dream Cast.’
"They began arguing about who had a bigger cock. Danny insisted his was longer and Ryan insisted his was thicker. Ah, teenage boys and their enormous egos. Then they get older and nothing much changes except they put on weight and eventually their hair turns gray.
"Danny and Ryan must have seen my suitcase sitting in the living room because they shut up. They crept up the stairs looking for me. I pretended I was still asleep as they tiptoed in and stood beside my bed.
"Ryan reached over and pulled the blanket down to my waist. ‘Danny,’ he marveled, ‘your sister is still the best. Look at those hooters! I shot my wad at least a hundred times on that cheerleader pic of her you sold me.’
"At that I jumped up and screamed ‘Boo!’ and you should have seen those two jump. ‘You two dirt bags get your clothes off and get your asses in bed with me. And tell me what happened!’ I demanded. They shed their clothes quickly and got in, one on each side of me.
"I never did hear the story of what really happened on Halloween but I was sure as hell about to. Oh my, I was getting hot listening to them tell about their first experiences with tight little teenage pussy and they were getting hot telling about it. Finally I couldn’t stand it any longer and I made one fuck me while the other one talked.
"Danny said with that look of worship on his face, ‘Sis, we can’t ever thank you enough for teaching us what to do. You wouldn’t believe how impressed Samantha was. Well, she didn’t exactly say that but I could sure tell the way she was squirming and yelling. And we are still together, almost two months later. Wait until you meet her!’
"Ryan then bragged he had three girlfriends since that fateful Halloween, the latest being Angela. He made me laugh when he said he wasn’t ready to settle down yet and then surprised me with his next comments. ‘Yeah, and my second girlfriend, Anais, she told me I was a much better lover than any of her other boyfriends and even better than her father. Well that just shocked the shit out of me. I didn’t know whether or not to believe her and I wasn’t about to ask questions. You know, about her and her daddy. Do you really think that sort of stuff goes on?’ I tried to ignore Ryan’s question until I could compose myself and I hoped they couldn’t tell I was blushing."
"Sal," Caitlin interrupted, "before you tell us what you said about incest, how about telling us what exactly you taught these two boys. I’m dying of curiosity about what made two geeks great lovers overnight. Did you perform a miracle, or what?"
"Yeah, me too! Tell us!" Kim agreed enthusiastically.
"Well, OK," Sal acquiesced. She paused for a few moments to collect her thoughts.
"Danny and Ryan were complaining that girls ignored them. ‘What girls would have sex with us, Sis?" Danny whined. "We are geeks. Girls talk to us when they have computer problems, but other than that we don’t exist. The jock types get all the pussy.’
"Well, my brother was crying and his friend Ryan looked suicidal, so I figured, what the hell. I said, ‘OK, I’ll tell you guys what. You have to learn sometime. I’ll teach you about the birds and the bees. But first, you have some chores to do.’ I made a long list, including washing and waxing my car and fixing my laptop computer I couldn’t get rebooted."
"Five hours later they told me the tasks I had given them had been completed. They even put an upgrade and a bunch of cool software on my laptop. I began the private lessons."
"I started with rule number one. ‘First rule, you please the girl first. If you do, she’ll always reciprocate enthusiastically and come back for more. Now, I want you two to pay attention very closely.’ I removed my clothes and by the time I got to my bra and panties, I thought four eyes were about to pop out of two stupid heads."
"I sat on Danny’s bed and spread my legs. ‘This is a clitoris,’ I lectured as I put my finger on mine. ‘Very important. This to a girl is what your sorry little dicks are to you, get it? Danny, you go first,’ I ordered, ‘I want you to lick my clitoris. Ryan, you can kiss my breasts and nibble on my nipples while he is doing that. But keep your dicks in your pants for now.’
"I screamed as soon as Danny started, ‘Shit! Not like that Danny! You are not wolfing down a cheeseburger. Lick slowly, gently. OK, that’s better, that’s good.’ Yeow, it was better than good. I really started squirming with the eagerness of his virgin tongue. ‘Danny, I knew you had to have talent for something!’ I stammered as I came for the first time.
"Then I turned to Ryan, ‘You try it.’ This kid was smart. He paid attention and didn’t make the same mistakes Danny did. This went on until their tongues were swollen and they were having difficulty speaking intelligibly. That was nothing new but you could tell the difference between stupidity and overdosing on cunt juice."
"Well, to make a long story short, Danny and Ryan got a chance to demonstrate what I had taught them that very evening, which was Halloween. I took them out trick or treating and they met some girls who invited them to a party. I had to go back to school early the next morning so I didn’t find out until X-Mas break that they got more pussy that night than you can find at a cat farm.
"OK, back to Daddy," Sal continued. "I thought I better address Ryan’s question about incest, both for his good and mine. ‘Ryan, look at it this way, if the bible is true, then I guess we all got here via incest one way or another, now didn’t we?’ Doh! I mean, there I am fucking my brother while Ryan is watching and he asks a question whether this sort of thing goes on.
"Just as I was explaining this to Ryan, we heard Daddy come home. The boys threw on their clothes in panic and rushed out of the bedroom. They got all scared for naught. Daddy was so beat from playing Santa he just flopped in his favorite chair and was still snoozing when I went downstairs a couple hours later. Danny had left with Ryan for who knows where.
"I noticed the shopping bag sitting next to Daddy. Hmmm. Victoria’s Secret. What’s up with that I wondered. I just couldn’t imagine Daddy shopping there and my curiosity raged. I flipped on the TV and made a lot of noise so he would wake up.
"Finally Daddy opened his eyes groggily and started to focus. As soon as he was somewhat coherent, and he sure looked silly sitting there in that Santa suit, I asked, ‘Daddy, what in the world is in that bag?’ The conversation that followed went like this …
‘Nothing, Honey. I just needed a bag and somebody gave me that one.’
‘I think you are lying, Daddy. Remember what happened to Pinocchio? Isn’t your nose big enough? Now tell me! Please, pretty please?’
‘OK, OK, you’ll never let up until I tell you. Well, what the hell, I just might let you see. It’s a little something for you, Honey. But are you sure you can’t wait until X-mas?’
‘You know damn well I can’t, Daddy. Can I peek?’
‘Why do you always get your own way with me? Just like your mother used to do.’
‘OK, I’m looking in the bag now, Daddy.’
"Whatever it was in the box was wrapped so beautifully I knew Daddy didn’t do it. Oh my, I was totally shocked. Not often am I speechless. It was a very sexy black sheer body stocking with long sleeves and an open crotch. I held it up. It had a scoop neckline and slender spaghetti straps."
‘Daddy! I can’t believe you. I love it! Only question, who in the world am I going to wear this for?’
‘For me, Honey.’
‘Now why didn’t I think of that? I’d like to go put it on right now. Would you like that, Daddy?’
"I didn’t wait for an answer and ran off to the bathroom. Ten minutes later I immerged in my new outfit, along with spiked heels. I painted my face and teased my hair. Daddy looked rather, well, you know, what’s the right word? I got right on his lap."
‘OK, Santa, tell me what every little girl wants to hear. Tell me how much you love good little girls and how you are going to give them everything they want. But I’m not a good little girl, Santa, at least not all the time. Sometimes I’m a bad girl. I think you should spank me!’
"I switched positions and laid across his lap. My Daddy had never spanked me or hit me. He put his hand on my behind and gently felt the fishnet material. I could immediately tell he was becoming aroused. But he still wouldn’t smack me."
‘Daddy, spank me! I’m bad! I’m really bad!"
"But Daddy still wouldn’t smack me. He just kept playing with my ass over the fishnet. I was facing the beautifully decorated tree. ‘Daddy, do you know that X-mas trees are actually phallic symbols?’ With that I unzipped the pants of his Santa suit. I didn’t even have to pull it out. It just sorta somehow popped right out."
‘Daddy, remember what I told you when we talked on the phone on Thanksgiving? That my X-mas gift for you rhymes with snow job? I want you in my mouth. All of you. I want to feel you throb and pulsate and give it up. I want to swallow you. Gobble, gobble!’ And then I did."
"Daddy and I slept together that night and the next night and every other night I could persuade Danny to get lost and stay at Ryan’s. I could go into more detail about what Daddy and I did but I’d rather not. Let’s just say we did everything you can think of, including anal. My Daddy loves anal, although I’m not sure if he really enjoyed our murder suspect Lilith’s version of anal."
"Sal," Kim asked seriously, "where was your mother during all this? You haven't mentioned her."
"This is confidential information, please don’t ever tell anyone. If it gets out it will ruin my father’s political career. Just like if the story of my father’s assignation with Lilith ever gets out his career and ambitions are dog shit. My mother was in a mental institution for a year; suicidal depression and schizophrenia. Innovations in treatment have allowed her to lead a relatively normal life in recent years. She takes a lot of drugs."
"I’m so sorry," Caitlin sympathized.
"Yeah, well, thanks, but things seemed to be going better for my family, until this Lilith thing. My mother came home a few months after that X-mas and my Daddy and I never were intimate sexually again. Caitlin, am I doomed to hell for what I did with my father and brother?"
"It’s not the unforgivable sin, Sal."
"What is?" Sal asked urgently.
Just then Jack walked into the room. He pulled up a chair next to the Jacuzzi. "What are you girls talking about?"
"The unforgivable sin," Caitlin responded.
"Well, good," Jack nodded in agreement, "because that’s what I want to talk to you three about. The unforgivable sins you may have to commit with our three Harley riding ‘locusts,’ Araqiel, Kakabel and Penemue.
To Be Continued…