Throughout all the trials life has brought me I have maintained an interest in symbols. In my adolescence, my friend Oscar pointed out to me markings on a gravestone, and told me they were the marks of a Mason. He had been told by his father, who was himself quite highly regarded amongst the county’s Freemasons and a member of many years.

When we reached the appropriate age of twenty-one he signed us both up. We took in the lectures and the lessons, and memorised the plays and the words we were told to. But there was always a hollowness to it. It became quickly apparent that the almost all the people around us were interested in something other than the symbols and the search for the hidden truths of the world. Some were there for fellowship, and others who mistook ritual and perceived exclusivity for earned status.

After Oscar moved to London, there was only one person I felt I could confide in. A Past Master—that is, one who had previously served as the Master of a lodge—in his mid-thirties who had a light in his eyes when he explained the lessons, and who had something of a reputation for challenging doctrine in some unpopular ways. A terrible confession is that for all he taught me, I never asked nor learnt his name.

I took him aside after a meeting, on one occasion, and asked him, “Why do the rituals and symbols feel that they are lacking something?”

“Because,” he said, “they are lacking women.”

This seemed an obvious point, but it wasn’t one that had previously struck me. Women were not allowed to be Masons, and were not allowed in our rituals. I had never thought to ask, though I would learn that if I did, then I would be told that Freemasonry was about masculinity and male relationships. Of course, as this Past Master would explain to me: masculinity can explain far less than half of the world. Femininity another part, and their interactions together fill up the remaining part, greater than either alone together.

The Past Master continued: “They are lacking other things, as well. But for all that I have petitioned for women to join or for real, nutritive mysticism to be included, I am a lone voice amongst a satisfied and stagnant many.”

We spoke for some time, before finally I asked him, “Is this really the only option?”

“It’s not the only option, nor the best option. You can join an appendant body, but they only accept Masons, and therefore men. There is a group in London that I would suggest can serve you far greater…”