And I did have moments of doubt. After all, it was a very sensitive part of me that was going to get sliced up. My penis and I had become very attached over the years. I also wasn't quite convinced it was necessary surgery at all. Yet there was something still deeply erotic about the idea of being circumcised for Saoirse, and it excited me to please her by doing it.

She gently pushed the idea from then on. She would say she was getting more and more excited about the thought of me getting circumcised, and she continued doing her research — though I wondered how much that was really for my benefit.

One Saturday afternoon I came home early from my weekly rugby match and must have managed to get into the flat without her hearing me. I didn't even expect her to be home; when I played rugby Saoirse would often go out and visit friends and I might not see her until after dinner. But I knew she was in the flat because her keys were hanging up in the hall. I decided to surprise her and quietly crept down the corridor. I peeked into the living room but she wasn't there, nor was she in the kitchen. That only left our bedroom, where the door was pushed closed.

I opened it very gently and edged my head around when it was only a little ajar. Saoirse was sitting at the desk inside almost with her back to me, and headphones on, oblivious to my entrance. I immediately saw what was capturing her attention so completely: she was naked except for a pair of simple black cotton panties, looking into her laptop screen. Her right hand was on the mouse while the left was thrust down the front of her underwear, her wrist moving in slow circles. Her face was a picture of concentration.

I decided not to disturb her just yet. This was something I'd never seen from her before except when we masturbated together. She wasn't watching porn, though, just as she claimed she never did. Instead she was reading some text on the screen. I was too far away to read what it said, but whatever it was it certainly seemed to get her going. She bit her lower lip and her wrist started to more quickly inside her panties. The motion changed and I could hear the wet plunging sound of her fingers moving inside herself. Watching her totally lost in her own pleasure was a fantasy turned real. From almost the moment I realised what she was doing I was rock hard.

As I watcher her, feeling both arousal and guilt, she flicked away from the page of text to something else: a video of a man, naked, touching his cock. So Saoirse wasn't entirely truthful when it came to watching porn, I thought. The video zoomed in on the man's lower body. He was clearly circumcised, and stopped jerking himself briefly to dribble what seemed to be oil or lube on his cock and on his hand. Then he started going to work on the head with rough, circular motions of his closed fist. Saoirse took her hand off the mouse and started rolling one of her nipples between her forefinger and thumb. The hand buried in her panties was now rubbing faster. As she watched the man in the video stroking himself faster, so she rubbed herself more vigorously. I could hear her heavy breathing now, and her body writhed in the office chair she was sitting in.

I almost couldn't believe what I was witnessing. The hand buried in her panties slowed, and she flicked the page again from the masturbating man to some other video that looked strange. It was a white sheet with a hole in the middle, out of which poked a flaccid penis. Then some green-gloved hands came into the screen. The hands held what appeared to be surgical instruments. My blood ran cold at this. Was she really watching an actual circumcision? And masturbating to it? She was. The hands began to wield the surgical instruments. The white sheets became dotted with patches of red. I watched on, agog. She had started rubbing her pussy again in her panties. The slow 'smack, smack' sound was louder than before — I imagined she must have been incredibly wet by the sounds of it. As the green-gloved hands did their work she began to rub herself furiously. Finally the hands produced some silver contraption and nimbly assembled it on the head of the penis. I had never seen this before. There was some part that was screwed on, the metal pieces sliding together easily. Then the hands were running a scalpel in a circle around the silver contraption. Saoirse was taking short, deep breaths now.

There was more red; what I presumed was the severed foreskin was pulled off the silver device. Then Saoirse let out an involuntary moan, scrunched her eyes up tight, leaned back in the chair and her whole body seemed to tense up. For a second she remained coiled like that, and then a little squeal escaped her mouth like I'd never heard from her before, and her legs and body shuddered. Her tense little body rippled with pleasure.

Saoirse's head was tilted back from coming, and so when she opened her eyes some seconds later she immediately saw me standing there. Her eyes widened and she pulled off the headphones. "I didn't think you'd be home yet," she said, meekly.

"Clearly," I said, intending it to be playful — though I was startled by what I had just seen, and maybe that came across in my tone. She didn't look like she took it as playful.

"I guess you saw everything," she said quietly.

"Yep. I was standing there for quite some time."

She turned off the video. "I feel ashamed. It's a bit of a strange thing to..." But I cut her off.

"Look, it's not so strange. People get off on lots of different things. You know what I think about exploring your desires. Please, don't feel weird about it," I said, walking over to her. "It was also so fucking hot watching you do that."

"Mmm well that's a relief," she smiled wanly. I stroked her face.

"So have you been doing this often, and to that..." I paused for effect, "particular material?"

Saoirse considered something for a moment before replying. "Since we talked about it during sex last week," she confessed. Another pause. She seemed to be grappling for something to break the tense silence. She blurted out: "I can never last past that part of the video. I want to see them pull off the clamp and how the head pops out... It's so sexy somehow... freshly circumcised."

I just had to stare.

"If you'd just been a few minutes later you'd never have known," she said, turning her head to avoid my eyes.

"No, it's better this way. I want to know," I reassured her. Kneeling down so our faces were level, I made her look me in the face. "Make me part of this. I want to share it with you."

I could see the thoughts turning over in her head. Eventually she said, cautiously: "OK. Well, there are some things I've been meaning to bring up with you. I thought maybe a role play about it could be... fun?"

"Sure, I'd like to try that," I said, wanting to soothe her discomfort. But the truth was I was a little weirded out by the whole thing. And I still had my doubts about getting circumcised.

"Um, I know you're still not completely on board," she said. I was always impressed by how perceptive she was. "So, I've been doing some research again. I mean, beyond this sort of research," she said laughing dryly. "So. There are ways you can, sort of, try out being circumcised before you commit. See if you like it and all that. You just — you keep the foreskin back for a while. Some men just do that all the time. I've read about it online."

I bent down and kissed her head. "That sounds like a good idea actually. I'm leaning towards it, I think. But it's a big commitment. So I want to be sure."

"Of course! Of course, darling. I wouldn't want you to do something you would regret,"Saoirse said earnestly. "But I think you probably won't regret it."

"I hope not," I said.

She glanced at the laptop screen again. "Oh no, I'm so sorry but I'm going to be late. I arranged to meet Martha and if I don't leave soon she'll be annoyed with me. Can we talk about this later? This evening, when I get back?"

"Yes, sure. Don't worry, it's not a big deal. And I honestly really enjoyed watching you. You should let me do it again sometime," I said.

She stood up and kissed me. My erection had subsided as we talked, but with her petite, almost-naked body pressed so close to mine it began to stir again. "How about later?" She looked slyly at me. I couldn't say no to that offer.

We agreed that on her next long business trip I would wear my foreskin back until she returned. I was excited by the idea, getting to test out how it would feel to have one of those interesting looking penises from the pictures. Saoirse and I made it into a game. "While I'm away you have to act like you're really circumcised, so if you jerk off then do it like a circumcised man would — no cheating," she said cheekily.

With Saoirse's help I devised a way to keep my foreskin back. All I had to do was grab a handful of her elastic hair ties, put some at the base of my penis and some around my balls and the added skin tension kept my foreskin retracted even when I was soft. On the day she was leaving for her trip she insisted she help me get my penis ready for the experiment. "There, that looks tight enough," she said cheerily, adjusting the hair ties with great care. "It won't roll forward will it? No? Good." She smiled at me, my bound-up cock cupped lovingly in her hand. Saoirse gave me a last kiss and said goodbye. "Remember: no cheating," she called as she slipped out of the front door

It felt strange with my cock head exposed all the time. It was constantly on my mind at work and around the house as I could feel it rubbing on my underwear, even with soft boxers on. Despite this I was a little turned on knowing I was getting something like an advance taste of how I would feel after the operation. Even then I was thinking in terms of 'when' and not 'if', though I doubt I truly admitted this to myself at the time. For the first few days the discomfort of the rubbing was just about counterbalanced by the element that turned me on. I just had to picture Saoirse's ecstatic face after our first circumcision role play and imagine her looking that way just after I actually went through with the surgery for her.

Despite the comfort of this erotic thought, during each night I came close to giving up on the experiment entirely. It was difficult to get to sleep with the foreskin in that unnatural position. Every time I moved I could feel the bedclothes rubbing on my bare glans. The sensation was partly uncomfortable, and partly arousing. Neither helped me get to sleep. How did circumcised men manage to sleep at all?, I wondered.

Midway through the week I had become a little more used to things, and was enjoying the look and thought of my modification. The constant exposure and arousal left me extremely horny, so I decided to masturbate. I remembered how Saoirse was so insistent I not cheat. There was no other option: I would have to try and masturbate how a circumcised man would. So I lay on our bed, loaded up some naughty photos Saoirse had taken specially for me for the occasion and I reached into the bedside drawer for some lube. In preparation, Saoirse had been insistent we get some — a good one. She was very committed to making the experiment as 'realistic' as possible, she said. I could tell the thought of the whole endeavor was really exciting her.

"I know you don't want to hear too much about my exes, but this might help with the experiment," she said a few days before she left. "They always, always, always had good lube to hand. Especially my second — the American — was fanatic about having lube. He wouldn't let me give him a handjob without it. My first wasn't so particular. He had a lower, looser circumcision so I could just about get him off by rolling the lip of foreskin he had left over the rim of his dick head." We were lying in bed during this conversation. To illustrate what she meant she placed one hand at the base of my erect cock to hold the skin back, and with her free hand she gripped me just below my glans and worked some of the slack skin just barely over the rim. "Like this. But my second, well he was cut so tightly. The skin was completely wrinkle-free on his shaft even when he was soft. Naturally, when he was hard there was no movement at all. So if you get a tight cut lube is essential.

"If you're going to really try this out properly when I'm away you must have a good lube. It's essential for you to have the full circumcised experience. With that you can give your head a nice, sexy massage. Just like a cut guy would do. I'll pick some lube up for you when I'm out tomorrow. Just make sure you think of me when you're using it."

Replaying that conversation in my head gave me a raging hard on. The 'full circumcised experience' was what Saoirse wanted for me, so I was going to see it through for her. I grabbed the bottle of lube from the bedside drawer, squirted some into the palm of my hand and began to rub my cock. Then I paused and used my phone to take a photo of the scene: my lubed up cock and hand next to one of Saoirse's seductive selfies. I sent it to her with the caption: 'The Full Circumcised Experience'.

The hair ties were tremendously tight on my cock as I got fully hard. There was very little movement of my shaft skin even if I pulled it hard. It didn't matter, I didn't want that anyway. I smeared lube all over my cock head, grabbed my balls with left hand, and started twisting and stroking the head. I settled on a sexy photo of Saoirse in a red bra and pantie set where she had slipped one hand down the front of her underwear. She was looking right at the camera. I imagined she was looking right at me, in that moment, stroking my bare cock head like a circumcised man. In fact, her hand was in the same position as it was when she was masturbating to those circumcision videos, I thought. I imagined how turned on she would be if I got circumcised for her. I imagined being cut for her, having a roughened, flared head which would slide into her soaking pussy. With that thought I came, very intensely. The unusual feeling of my bare hand on my cock head was overwhelming as I came. Right in the moment of orgasm, when usually I would relish the feeling of my foreskin rolling back and forth over my head, I had a primal urge for deep pressure on my glans. It caused me to grip myself harder, rub myself rougher. Alongside that I had this strange feeling of not wanting to even be able to pull the skin up and over my head.

I masturbated the 'circumcised' way a couple more times before Saoirse came back home. She greeted me happily and asked how the week had gone with our experiment. "Very well," I told her. "I liked it — quite a lot actually."

She smiled. "Your photos were lovely. I used them to come myself — quite a few times! You could get used to it then?"

"Yes, I think so. I'm getting quite into the idea actually." Her smile broadened even more.

"Well then, let's plan it for real," Saoirse said.

Saoirse and I took one evening the week after to look up how I would be circumcised. We both sat at the desk in the bedroom and she started looking at nearby clinics that would offer the operation. She brought up a page with a series of images of penises before and after the operation.

"So you can get circumcised these different ways," she said, gesturing at the images. "See, this one has a very high cut with the scar inches behind the head. See how it changes colour? What used to be foreskin is now stretched along the length of the shaft. I've read having it done this way leaves you with a really nice sensation." I nodded.

"Then this one," she pointed at the next image. "This one is a low cut, so the scar is just tucked in behind the head. Almost all of the sensitive foreskin is gone. You must have to really focus on just the head for pleasure." I just nodded again.

"The other important thing is how tight or loose it is, meaning how much slack skin you have on the shaft. That can be really different when you're soft and hard, too. If you have a really tight circumcision then there's no loose skin at all, even when you're soft. The head is always exposed. You probably physically can't wank anymore except with lube. But you're used to that, after last week, aren't you?" She said, flashing me a cheeky smile.

"I suppose I am," I agreed.

"So, have you thought about what you might want your new penis to be like?"

The words 'new penis' resonated with me. It was quite an exciting idea to change that intimate part of myself permanently, and for Saoirse.

"I think... It seems like keeping some sensitive skin would be a good thing," I said.

"OK, so you're thinking a high circumcision?"

"Yes, I guess so. As for the loose skin, well, I'm used to masturbating with foreskin so it would be a big change to not be able to do that anymore..."

She cut in. "But that's just part of it. If you get circumcised it will change how you masturbate, and how you have sex. You can't avoid it." A brief pause. Then she added: "And that's part of why it's exciting."

I took those words in and a thought occurred to me. Something that had been on my mind since I had caught her masturbating the week before.

"Saoirse," I said, "I'm mainly doing this for you, so why don't you tell me what you like about it. I saw you when you were touching yourself to those videos, and whatever it was you were reading that got you excited. What was it that got you so turned on? I want to be able to do that to you, to turn you on like that."

She turned to me, with a slightly bashful look on her face. We hadn't much discussed the masturbation incident since it happened. Saoirse swallowed.

"Yes. I hope you're not doing it all for me, unless that turns you on..."

"It definitely does," I said. Her face brightened.

"I was reading about men's experiences of being circumcised, and also how their partners' experiences of being with them changed too," she said, speaking carefully. "When a man gets circumcised he has to get used to a completely new way of handling his penis. And his partner has to get used to a new way of handling it too. If he's circumcised radically enough, anyway. That's sexy. It's sexy to me, anyway."

"So you want it to be radical?" I said.

She paused. "I suppose so. I think if you're going to get circumcised you should do it properly. No skin should cover your head. Never again. Not even when you're soft. Never."

I was getting turned on hearing her speak this way, and seeing how into it she was. "So you would want it tight?" I asked.

"Yes. Very tight. So tight you would need lube to masturbate."

"Like the man in the video you were watching?"

"Yes, exactly like him. Tight enough you can't move your shaft skin when you're hard. You need lube, you need to rub your bare head, or your scar, to come." She was looking quite distracted now, lightly kneading one thigh with her hand.

"You've been thinking about this a lot?" I prompted her, hoping to hear more.

"Yes, far too much," she said. "You caught me touching myself to those videos. I wasn't lying when I said I don't — didn't — watch porn. Realising how much I'm into this circumcision thing has... changed me. When I get horny that's what I think about now. Every time I've... gotten myself off since we started talking about this I've done it while thinking about circumcision. Often, thinking about you getting circumcised. Sometimes... I'm the one circumcising you. It always ends with you fucking me with your new circumcised dick. And it feels so good. I've started watching porn, but just to see guys with circumcised dicks. Sometimes I watch them masturbate. Sometimes I watch them fuck girls. Every time I watch porn it's with circumcised guys — and it's just because they're circumcised. I read about circumcisions, and watch — well, you've seen — guys get it done. I've never been so turned on by something before.
"There's something sexy about thinking about a rough, bare dick head inside me, how it has to fuck me harder. It's manly, that rough fucking. And how he has a scar, how you would have a scar right there on your dick. How that scar feels good for you. You have to rub it — that circumcision scar — to get yourself off, rub it in and out of me. You know I like your other scars. This would be even hotter. And it would be a scar you got for me. And no matter how much you try you just can't cover up that beautiful head — it's always out there for me. It's animalistic somehow. Just the thought of it makes me so, so wet..."

"Hearing you talk about what turns you on like this is so hot," I reassured her, touching her knee. "I want to share it with you. Tell me exactly what you want."

She touched my hand, looked me straight in the eye. "I want you to get circumcised. I want it to be tight, so you can't cover your head anymore. I want it to be high, with a scar as far down your shaft as possible. And I want to be able to see the scar. I want your head to be uncovered all day, when you're soft. I want to think about it being exposed all the time, rubbing in your underwear, growing rougher every day. I want it to be big and rough and flared just like the guys in my favourite videos."

"I want that, for you," I said, brushing her cheek with my hand. She leaned towards me and kissed me once, lightly. Then she leaned in again, giving me a hot, deep kiss. Her delicate tongue exploring my mouth tentatively at first, and then more assertively. I pulled her firmly towards me, burning for her.

"Talking about this has made me so turned on," she said. She took one of my hands and pushed it down the front of her jeans and into her panties. Between her legs was a soaking mess. When I withdrew my hand the fingers were slick. I tasted them, involuntarily sighing with arousal. Saoirse pulled my fingers out of my mouth and started to suck them, her other hand pressing my throbbing cock through my trousers.

We moved to the bed and fumbled with each other's clothes until we were down to our underwear. She was wearing pink panties that exposed a generous amount of her pert bum, and a soft black lace bra through which the curve of her breasts and her hardened nipples were clearly visible. As Saoirse pushed me down and straddled me the dark spot in the gusset of her panties showed me how wet she was. She leaned over me and slipped my boxers off. My hard cock sprung out. The head was still half covered by foreskin. She tutted.

"We need to get that beautiful head out," she cooed, drawing back the foreskin with one hand. "See, now that looks better. It will look so good when you're circumcised. It's already such a nice penis. It will look even better with a dry, flared head. And it will feel good too."

"Mmmm yea," I moaned. "Tell me how it will feel."

"You'll need my wet cunt to provide relief from all the rubbing it gets all day," Saoirse said. "Let me show you." She grabbed some of her hair ties from the bedside table and started fixing them on my cock and balls.

"It will feel like this after you're circumcised," she said, admiring her work. "See, I can't get any skin over your head." She tugged on my shaft skin to demonstrate. Indeed it would barely slip over the corona.

"Oh yes, Saoirse," I moaned. "Circumcise me so it's that tight."

She looked at me in mock pity, stroking my face. "You poor thing," she said, play-acting. "You don't remember? You must still be feeling the effects of the anaesthetic."

I caught on. "What do you mean?"

"I drugged you at dinner last night, knocked you right out. You're a circumcised man now. I did it while you slept, see?" Saoirse tugged again on my tightened shaft skin. "You'll never be able to cover that head again. I gave you a nice, tight circumcision. Just how I like them."

"You bad girl," I scolded her, probably unconvincingly. "Doing that to me against my will."

"Mmhm," Saoirse said. "We need to see if it came out OK, test your new circumcised penis out. Will you do that for me?"

"I'll do anything."

"See if you can wank your new dick," she instructed, dismounting me and propping herself up on an elbow next to me to watch. I encircled my shaft with my fist and tried to pump it up and down. There was a little movement of the skin, but the pressure of the hair ties kept it to a minimum. I looked at her, then tried again, more vigorously this time. There was still almost no movement.

"I can't," I said. "The skin won't move."

She laughed. "Silly boy. You're circumcised now. You can't masturbate like how you used to. You don't have any foreskin to pull over your head anymore. Here, try this." She handed me the bottle of lube. I squirted some into my palm and started rubbing my head. She beamed in appreciation.

"That's better, isn't it? You'll learn you always need lube to masturbate from now on. I gave you a high and tight cut just for that. Good boy." She watched me massaging my exposed head for her.

"It feels weird without foreskin. Maybe you could show me how?" I suggested. Saoirse's eyes widened. She grabbed the bottle of lube and opened it, squirting some into her own hand.

"With pleasure," she said. "Well, now you're a circumcised man you need all the lube you can get. You have to make that dry cock nice and wet in order to come. See how much lube I have to use?" She formed a loose 'o' shape with her thumb and forefinger and slowly ran it up and down my glans. "Isn't that direct contact on your head nice? As your exposed head rubs on your boxers every day from now on it will get more and more used to the direct contact. In a few months it will feel even better."

Saoirse quickened her pace. "This is just one of the benefits of being circumcised." She changed her grip so that her whole fist enclosed my glans and started working it more firmly than before. "You can get used to nice rough contact just like this, and I can focus on the sensitive rim of your head. That rim is always exposed for me to play with." It was such an intense feeling. I had to grip the bed covers with my fingers, and my body was tense with the force of sensation just on my exposed glans. I was getting very close to coming when she abruptly stopped.

"But the best part," she said slowly, "is how fucking my hot, wet cunt feels when your dick head is so totally exposed. You'll always be able to feel that flared rim rubbing inside my pussy. Let me show you." Saoirse slipped off her panties, which by now were so soaked that as she pulled them down the gusset peeled off her pussy lips, drawing long sticky strands of her wetness with it. She straddled me and guided my throbbing cock into her. "Oh yea, baby," she said. "I'm so glad I circumcised you. It feels so good. Now I want you to come inside me with that new, circumcised cock."

I didn't need to be told twice. The intensity of her tight pussy on my artificially bared cock head, and the tightness of my erection from the hair ties, meant that she only had to rock her hips on me a few times before I gasped and released a huge load into her sweet cunt.

As we lay together afterwards, my cock soft but still held tightly by the hair ties, she stroked my hair and said: "I can't wait for us to be able to do all this for real."

"Let's book the appointment as soon as possible, and then we can," I said. I meant it.