Chapter 1

I don't know why I'm here. My parents were supposed to be taking me to college but somehow I ended up in this white room, naked. I think somebody drugged me because I'm dizzy--so dizzy--and I feel like I need to throw up. Where am I?

The door opened and two men and a woman walked in wearing white lab coats. I cowered in the corner, trying to shrink into the wall. I pulled my knees up and hid my face but strong arms grabbed me and half dragged, half led me down the hall.

"What's going on? Who are you? Where are my parents?" I screamed, but no one bothered to answer me.

I was led into a room that looked like an operating room. There was a padded exam table in the middle and people were standing around wearing hospital scrubs and there were stainless steel trays with all sorts of sharp sterile objects on them. They all watched me as I entered. I was shaking uncontrollably.

I was lifted onto the table and tied down, my arms above my head and my legs spread wide. I struggled, but there were too many of them.

As I lay there, blinded by the lights above me, I realized escape was futile and I started to cry, my chest heaving with my sobs. What was happening?

A woman leaned down and softly stroked my face and my hair. "There, there, Trista" she crooned. "I know you're scared. But there's really nothing for you to worry about. We're not going to hurt you."

I stopped crying but my breathing was still coming in gasps. How did she know my name?

"Where are my parents?" I managed to whisper.

"It will all be explained to you shortly."

I felt my legs being raised up and spread wider. I looked down and the table I was laying on somehow had come apart down the middle, forcing my legs to bend at the knees and open. I struggled, but it was no use. The restraints were too tight. I started crying again.

I felt hands touching my sex. They prodded and rubbed, spreading me open. Although they were being gentle, I still felt violated. There were voices, but I was crying too hard to understand what they were saying. I heard the words labia, moist, clitoris. Something cold was inserted in me and spread wide. I recognized the feeling of a speculum as fingers were inserted, invading me.

"She's not a virgin," I heard.

"That's unfortunate, but it'll be easier for her."

What would be easier?

"Check her anxiety levels, let's see if she's ready to continue the evaluation," I heard someone say as the speculum was removed.

Monitors were put on me. They put probes on my head, my chest, my legs and arms. I felt a dull pain coming from my nipples and I looked down to see clamps with wires latched onto each nipple. I was hyperventilating now. What was going on? What are they doing to me?

"Her anxiety level is at a 21, doctor."

"It's a little high, but I think we can move on."

I heard a mechanical whirring and I could feel my torso being raised up, like a hospital bed. I felt something cold touch my calf and I looked down to see a metal cylinder that was around the size of a paint can moving towards me. There was a large phallus sticking out of it and it was being aimed right at my vagina. I screamed and started struggling but gravity was forcing me to sit on it while I was somewhat reclined, until I was fully impaled. They strapped it into place and I was gasping and crying. It didn't hurt, but I was scared. I was so confused. Who were these people and why are they doing this to me?

"She's ready doctor."

The phallus came to life, thrusting in and out, fucking me. I cried out, more from shock. It wasn't painful. In fact, it felt really good. Too good. A vibration started on my clitoris and I couldn't help the moan that escaped my lips. Who are these sick people?

I looked around at all the faces, staring at me, watching me. They were going to make me orgasm and they were all going to watch. I resisted it. I struggled against it, but before I knew it, I was closer than I realized. I felt the familiar stirrings inside me and I stared up at the lights, trying to block it all out. But the phallus wasn't just thrusting anymore, it was twirling now, delightfully scraping against my g-spot. The vibrations on my clitoris were fast and deep. I was breathing heavier. I started counting my breaths, trying to ignore what was happening to my body. Like a woman giving birth, I concentrated on my breathing, trying desperately to focus on something else.

"Oh, fuck," I moaned. I was being pulled closer. I held my breath, willing myself not to climax. I clenched my fists, digging my fingernails into my palms, hoping to feel some pain that would help me ignore the exquisite pressure that was building inside me. I teetered on the edge. I tried to hang on but then it was too late. I felt myself falling. I threw my head back and felt myself rolling with the neverending ripples of my orgasm, unable to control the obscene noises that were spewing out of my mouth.

Just as I felt my feet touch down on solid ground, I felt myself being thrown over the abyss again. And again and again. One orgasm after another. Over and over. It wouldn't stop. I wanted it to stop, and yet I wanted it to go on forever. As I slowly came down, I started to cry. My body was covered in sweat, and I was sore all over. I couldn't catch my breath. I felt the table slowly moving as it lowered me back down. The phallus was removed from my wet pussy and my legs were slowly closed until I was laying down again.

"Her orgasmic response was better than we hoped," I heard someone say.

"Dr. Archer will be pleased."

I felt a prick on the inside of my arm but I was too exhausted to react to it. I looked down to see a vial quickly filling up with my blood. I lay there waiting for my breathing to slow down.

I was unstrapped from the table and led out of the room. My legs were so shaky that I could hardly walk until I was finally carried back into the white room. I curled up in a ball on the bed and wept.

I must have fallen asleep because I felt myself being picked up and carried down the hallway. My mind finally woke up and I started struggling. "No!" I cried. "Not again!"

"Relax," I heard a soothing, gentle voice say. A male voice. "You're okay now."

I let my head fall back, unable to move. I was taken into another room where I was placed on a toilet. My body reacted instinctively and I relieved myself. I was lifted up and placed gently in a tub of warm water. I didn't even know who was with me, whether they were male or female. I couldn't focus on anything. Gentle hands cleaned off my body and washed my hair, massaging my scalp. I started to relax. I was lifted out of the tub and placed in front of an air vent. Strong currents of warm air moved over my body, drying it.

I was led, naked, down another hallway into a large warm room. It looked like a typical office at a private school or someone's private library with an ornate desk and elegant paintings covering the walls. A large gilded mirror hung on the wall behind the desk and I stared at my reflection. I didn't recognize myself. I saw my long brown hair, my slim, yet curvy body with large full breasts, but it didn't look like me. It was the face. I could no longer see myself in the terrified girl standing in front of me. I was led to a chair across from the desk and I sat down automatically. It was like my mind had shut off and my body's instincts had taken over.

There was a woman sitting at the desk, writing something. She wasn't young, but she wasn't middle-aged either. She looked friendly, but I didn't trust her. She looked up and smiled at me. Although I was warm, I felt my body start shivering.

"How are you feeling, Trista?" she asked me. "Are you hungry?"

I just sat there, shaking uncontrollably.

She picked up her phone and pushed a number. "Can we get some food and drink in here?" She smiled at me. "Yes, her favorite is barbecue chicken pizza and a diet coke with lime." How did she know that? Who was she? She hung up the phone and smiled at me.

"My name is Dr. Halley Archer," she said. "I'm the director here."

"Wh-why am I h-here?" I asked, trying to cover my nakedness. "Where are my p-parents?"

"Your foster parents did an excellent job of raising you," she replied.

"Foster parents?" I felt the blood rush out of my face.

"Although they did let you lose your virginity. That was unfortunate, but you are much more fertile than any female we've had in a long time. You were just ready to mate earlier than we thought."

I could feel it coming up. I was going to throw up. I leaned over the chair and heaved, although nothing came out. When I looked up, she was holding a glass of water out to me. "I know it's a shock, but I'll try to explain everything as best as I can." I took a tentative sip of the water, not trusting her.

"The world isn't what you think it is," she finally said. "We're not the same species."

"Then what are you?" I asked, my voice trembling with fear. I wasn't sure I really wanted to know, but my mind was thinking about alien abductions and Earth being populated by beings from another galaxy who were trying to wipe out the human race.

"You are a rare female homo linderi," she said. "We have a captive breeding program here at the Homo Linderi Protection Society and whenever we've successfully mated a pair of breeding linderi, volunteers take the babies home and socialize them, feed them, teach them. And when they're ready to become part of the program, we bring them back to one of our centers to breed. Your foster parents have had the most success hand raising homo linderi babies in our center's entire history."

She smiled at me. "We're quite successful here at this center. We have more live births than any other institute, and our breeding linderi are more beautiful than any of the others." She looked at me proudly. "And I have to say that you're quite a nice addition to our program."

I was numb. I closed my eyes, hoping this was just a bad dream. I didn't quite understand everything she was saying to me, so this had to be a dream. Captive breeding? It couldn't be real. "It's just a bad dream," I whispered. "It's just a bad dream. A bad dream."

"I know you've got lots of questions for me, but here's your dinner." I looked up and saw a tray of food, my favorite meal, sitting on her desk. The smell was overwhelming. I had never smelled anything in my dreams before. Suddenly, I was famished. I picked up a slice and devoured it, grease dripping onto my naked legs. I guzzled the diet coke, not realizing how thirsty I was.

She watched me eat the whole pizza. "So, are you ready to continue?" I just nodded. This was the most fascinating dream of my life.

She clicked a button on her desk and a mirror on the wall turned into a tv screen. A video started playing. I was shown clips of a woman, a beautiful woman who looked like me with long dark brown hair and a tall muscular man who had my hazel eyes. They were both naked. It was like watching a home movie. They were eating, reading. They were swimming in a pool. The woman was laughing and the man smiled. Then they were fucking. The woman was bent over a table, it looked like a kitchen table and the man was behind her, fucking her violently. I could feel wetness between my legs as I watched them climax.

"These are your birth parents," she said. I could feel the pizza coming back up. Was it possible to vomit in your sleep?

I was shown videos of other naked people, fucking, sleeping, eating. "These are some of our other breeding pairs. We found out the hard way that breeding pairs shouldn't be kept together for too long, simply because after you have a child together, you just stop mating. Sometimes we borrow males from other breeding programs to diversify the gene pool."

A video of a younger couple came on. They looked like they couldn't be older than 18. I watched the girl sucking the boy's large erect penis. "This is our newest breeding pair. In fact, the male is your half brother!" She turned to watch the video until he came all over the girl's large tits. She screamed in ecstasy as she rubbed the milky liquid all over her breasts and nipples. "We've also learned that a breeding pair need to be close in age, otherwise there's resistance, usually on the girl's part if she's much younger than the male."

She turned off the tv and it morphed back into a mirror. "And now, you've arrived. Our newest female." She smiled at me, excitedly. I just sat there, my stomach lurching and then I vomited all over the floor.

I was led back into the white room. I was weak, and exhausted. This couldn't be happening. I was going to wake up soon. I was going to wake up in the car and my parents would look back at me with tears in their eyes as they dropped me off at my dorm. I started crying. I curled up in a ball on the bed and shut my eyes tight. I missed my parents so much.

I woke up and realized I wasn't in my parent's car. I was still naked, and I was still in the white room. I felt dread in the pit of my stomach as I realized I wasn't dreaming. This was really happening.

The door opened and Halley entered the room. "I don't understand what's going on," I said. I couldn't help the tears from flowing down my cheeks.

"Perhaps it would be best if your foster parents explained it to you."

The door opened and my parents entered the room, smiling. I ran up to them, crying. I didn't even care that I was naked. "Get me out of here," I begged as I gripped my mom's arms. "Please. You have to take me home. They're crazy. These people are crazy. Please. Please, just take me home."

"I'm sorry, honey. But this is where you belong," my mom said.

"But, I don't know what you're saying," I cried. "I don't belong here. You were-- you were going to take me to college, remember? I'm going to be a freshman at Santa Cruz. Please! Please, I can't stay here!" My parents just stood there, waiting for me to calm down. I just held onto my mom while my dad stood there, waiting for me to stop crying.

"You'll be happy here," my mom whispered into my hair. "You'll be so happy here."

Eventually, I had no more tears. I had no more energy to cry anymore.

"You were always so smart. That's probably why you're having such a hard time accepting this," my dad said.

"Let me tell you the whole story." My mom made me sit on the bed and she sat down next to me, still holding my hand. "In the beginning, your ancestors lived as savages, as animals in the wild. But you were smart. Of all the animals, your language skills and your problem-solving abilities far exceeded any others. But you were fragile creatures. Your immune systems started breaking down, attacking your own bodies. When we realized that the linderi population was decreasing, we studied as many as we could. We tranquilized them and tagged each one with a microchip to learn about their hunting and migratory habits. But then we discovered that many linderi were suffering from unexplained infertility. With each generation, more and more were unable to reproduce. Homo linderi were headed towards extinction. There were only a handful left, living in the Pacific Northwest. We couldn't just let you die off, so we started the captive breeding program."

I took my hand out of hers and covered my face. I didn't want to believe any of it.

"Fortunately, there were enough fertile linderi who could successfully reproduce and when they gave birth to their young, they were raised at our breeding centers. But even though the babies were fertile at birth, when we kept them in captivity, they lost their ability to reproduce. We realized that we couldn't allow the parents to raise their young anymore here at the centers. We had to raise them in our homes, as one of us. For some reason, raising linderi babies to think they were our own children made them more fertile. And linderi are so intelligent, we could teach them how to read, and how to bathe and to learn to like wearing clothes. When they are finally brought back to the breeding centers, they're more fertile and happy."

I started crying as she spoke. I wanted to tell her to shut up. They were all lies. There was no such thing as homo linderi. They were making it all up.

"At first we tried to imitate the native habitat as much as possible with as little contact with us. We tried releasing them back into the wild as family units, but every linderi we have released has eventually died. It made us sick to see one die in the wild. We were all so hopeful for each and every one. But we've learned that the best hope we have for your species is to let you live your lives here, protected, with all of your needs taken care of. I'm sad to say there are no more homo linderi in the wild. If it weren't for our breeding programs, you'd all be dead."

I started laughing. This was some sick joke. But they all watched me with serious expressions on their faces. My parents were good people, they would never subject me to this kind of treatment. They would never sit there and allow me to be naked in front of strangers.

Unless it was all true.

I stopped laughing as they all looked at me. I sat there, in complete shock. I started trembling again. I shook my head. "No. You're lying," I whispered.

"Let me show you your new home," my mom said and stood up. She took my hand, slowly lifting me up. She held my hand tightly, as we walked out of the room. In a trance, I just followed her. We walked down a series of hallways, passing people wearing white lab coats. As we passed each one, I brought my hands up, attempting to cover my nudity. We finally entered a large round auditorium with glass walls all around. There were people sitting behind desks in front of all the windows. In the center of the room, there were hundreds of television monitors, like security cameras. My mom led me towards one of the windows and I looked out. It was like a larger version of the monkey room at a zoo I'd went to as a child, except there were naked people in all the rooms. It was like looking out into a giant dollhouse. Each room looked like a normal house with beds and furniture and even televisions.

In one of the rooms, there was a couple fucking on a chair. The man was sitting down while a woman gyrated on his lap. He had one of her nipples in his mouth and she bounced on his lap, going faster and faster until finally she tossed her head back and screamed out in ecstasy. I felt some wetness seep out of my pussy and trickle down my leg as I watched them. My mom reached her hand between my legs, and I cried out in shock and moved away from her. She lifted her fingers and smiled at the wetness. "You're going to be a wonderful breeder," she said. "That's how we know if a female is fertile or not. The ones who aren't fertile don't get aroused, and they definitely don't orgasm. Your exam earlier indicated that you're not only multi-orgasmic, but your orgasmic response is one of the highest they've seen in a long time."

I was mortified. I couldn't look my mom in the face, so I looked out one of the windows and found myself watching two men playing chess. There were two women under the table, sucking the men's hard cocks.

"We knew you were going to be a fertile one because we watched you masturbate at such a young age," my dad said. I blushed crimson. "You were just eleven years old when you had your first orgasm with the shower massager. We knew we had to encourage you to climax as often as possible, and we were so pleased that you were making yourself orgasm a few times a day, but it was hard to keep you a virgin. When we found out you'd mated with Keaton, we were so upset with ourselves. But luckily, you didn't conceive." My heart broke as I thought of Keaton. I loved him. I don't even remember meeting him for the first time because we had both been babies. Our parents were close friends and we had both been homeschooled, often taking field trips together and working on school projects together. Eventually, we fell in love. He was going to attend a college in Michigan but we promised we'd see each other again as soon as we could. Did he know about me? Did he know what I was?
"Keaton is also a homo linderi," my mom said. I stared at her, wide-eyed. "You and Keaton were inherently attracted to each other, because you're more sensitive to pheromones. And you were so much more fertile than any of the other females we raised. We didn't quite know how to deal with it, but now we know better." She smiled at me.

"Where is Keaton?" I asked.

"He's at another breeding center in Australia," my mom said. I started crying.

"You and Keaton aren't genetically compatible. There's another female in Sydney who matched his genetic profile better," my dad said and I cried harder.

I was taken back to my white room, heartbroken. My mom gave me a hug. "This is the last time you'll see us," she said and I panicked. "It's time for you to get to know your linderi family. Soon, you'll meet your breeding partner." I collapsed on my bed as the door closed. I wanted to run after them, but I knew I couldn't.

Laying on the bed was a vibrator that was similar to the one in my mother's nightstand that I always used when she wasn't home. I was ashamed looking at it. How did they know how often I masturbated? I thought of all those days when I had actually taken her vibrator back to my room. I had locked myself in and masturbated the whole day, pretending I was sick. I wasn't interested in food or anything else, except pleasuring myself. Did they know what I was really doing? As I stood there, I couldn't ignore my arousal. Watching all those naked people fucking had turned me on. I looked around. There were no windows in my room, only a skylight that showed the evening sky, dark blue fading into indigo. I knew I was alone. I picked up the vibrator and realized it was the exact same vibrator I had used at home. They knew I had been using it and they had brought it here. For me. I was mortified but I still couldn't resist it's allure. I lay down and turned on the vibrator. It hummed in my hands, exciting me even more. Perhaps I would feel better once I'd climaxed.

I pressed the vibrator to my clitoris and moaned softly. I slowly put it inside me, letting it stroke my g-spot as I pressed the palm of my hand onto my throbbing clitoris, rubbing in circles. I teased my hard nipples with my free hand, licking it first. I thrust the vibrator as deep as I could, feeling the orgasm approaching. I tried to block everything out of my mind except the delicious feeling between my legs. My moans were echoing in the sterile room as I brought myself closer and closer until I finally broke through, screaming out as I came. I could feel another one building inside me and I went with it. Just as I climaxed again, the door opened and Halley entered the room.

"Wonderful, just wonderful!" she exclaimed as I recovered. "The females usually don't start masturbating again so quickly after their arrival." I closed my eyes in shame.

"You're ready." She took the vibrator from me and helped me get up. I was still trying to catch my breath. My heart was beating rapidly, but it was hard for me to know if I was nervous, or if it was due to my recent orgasms. I followed her as we walked down some different hallways and we walked into an elevator. She opened a panel and placed her palm on the glass surface and I saw a green laser scan her hand.

"Why don't you let us live with you out in the real world? Why do we have to stay in here?" I asked.

"It's for your own protection," she answered.

"Not in the wild, but why can't we live with you in society. Have jobs, go to school."

"You have much to learn about yourself. For one thing, linderi are too sexually promiscuous. Your instinctive drive to mate is too strong and once you go into heat, which is quite often, linderi will have sex anywhere." I blushed as I remembered the time I had fucked Keaton. It was just that one time and we couldn't control ourselves as we let our desires take over.

Growing up, I only had a handful of friends and I learned the most about sex from them. They all lived in my neighborhood and went to the public school and they told me details about their boyfriends and what they did together. But I spent most of my time with Keaton and his family. We had often gone on vacations together. There were camping trips and beach trips. It was on one of the camping trips when Keaton and I had sex for the first time together.

We had snuck off to go on a hike and as I followed him through the trees, I stared at his ass and his muscular legs the whole time. I was wondering when he had turned into such a tall perfect man, no longer the boy of my childhood. We stopped to rest and we just looked into each other's eyes. We were both breathing heavily, sweaty and hot from more than just the physical exertion. I leaned against a tree, unable to look away from him. I don't know if he took a step, or if I pulled him towards me, but we just started kissing. He had reached his hand under my shirt and it felt so good as he rubbed my hard nipples with his hand. He lifted up my shirt and moved my bra aside and put his warm mouth on them, driving me crazy. I moaned loudly as I looked up into the trees. He was making me feel so good.

I reached my hands inside his shorts and found his hard cock. I rubbed it and it felt so hot. Suddenly, I knew I had to have him. We ripped off our clothes and we fucked right there in the open. It only hurt a little bit at first. We heard our parents calling our names, but we didn't care. We held on to each other tight, gripping each other as we both climaxed. When they found us, we were still laying there, naked and muddy. I remember my mom crying when she realized what we had done.

Afterwards, I had been thoroughly embarrassed, unsure of why I had let myself get so carried away. I thought my parents would punish me, but they seemed more disappointed in themselves. They had taken me to a doctor and had cried with relief when they found out I wasn't pregnant. We had driven hours to see a special doctor, I remembered. Looking back on it, they had probably taken me to a breeding center for the exam. I had only seen Keaton a few more times after that, and always with one of our parents in the same room. That happened just a few months ago and now I didn't know if I would ever see Keaton ever again.

The elevator doors opened and we stepped out into another long sterile hallway. "But all the textbooks, they never said anything about this. How could it be?" I asked her.

"The Homo Linderi Protection Society keeps your existence a secret, for your own safety. When the homo linderi were first discovered, only a handful of scientists knew about it, and they were all sworn to secrecy. If the wrong people found out about you, you would be exploited for their own perverse pleasure. And when linderi children find out they're different, they never reach sexual maturity. We don't know why that is, we're still studying it."

As much as I didn't want any of it to be true, I slowly realized it was all starting to make sense now. My parents were older than the other parents I knew and they never allowed me to use their computer or to watch TV. They had been very strict with me. All of my brothers and sisters were much older, and when they came home for the holidays, they had all treated me like I was their pet. As a child, I had loved the attention, but now I knew why they were always fascinated with me. I was the newest homo linderi my parents were hand raising.

"Linderi also prefer to be naked," Halley continued. "As children, you'll put up with clothes, but once you reach sexual maturity, clothing starts to actually hurt your delicate skin. Already, you're more comfortable being nude." I blushed as I realized she was right. I had actually forgotten that I was naked.

We walked down another long hallway and I was led into a small room that looked like a luxurious hotel suite. The far wall was covered with mirrors and I knew there were other people on the other side watching me, observing me. There was a couch and a large bed, a table with four chairs. There was a bathroom with a large jacuzzi tub and separate shower. As I looked around, I noticed some of my things from home were here. My stuffed animals that I had left at my bedroom at home, my books, my comforter and pillow from home. Halley walked over and placed the vibrator on the nightstand and I flushed with embarrassment knowing that I was expected to use it.

I felt homesick as I looked at all of my familiar things. I felt tears rolling down my face as I held a stuffed bear, remembering when I had received it for my 5th birthday from my dad.

"You'll stay here for a day or so in isolation. Then we'll slowly introduce you to some of the other linderi pairs. Once you've met your breeding partner, you'll be ready to assimilate into the regular linderi population. You need contact with each other in order to thrive."

After she left, I crawled into bed and started crying as I clutched my bear. But I felt too warm and claustrophobic under the covers, I felt like I was drowning. I tried to resist the urge to kick off the comforter. This was the first time I had been allowed to cover up and I didn't want to expose my nudity anymore. Part of me was hoping that Halley was wrong. Maybe they'd made a mistake and I was human after all. But I was having a hard time breathing under the blanket and it was starting to itch. I finally ripped it off me. I realized Halley was right, I wasn't human.

I felt another itch that started deep within me, and I realized I needed another orgasm. My body was betraying me. I wouldn't do it. I looked at the mirror, wondering how many people were standing on the other side, watching me. I saw my reflection as I lay there on the bed, my legs spread wide, my pussy dripping with arousal. I was breathing heavily. I was covered in sweat, my skin was gleaming and my nipples were already hard. I tried to resist. I saw the vibrator on the nightstand and I started crying. I didn't like who I was. I didn't want to be a homo linderi. I wanted to be human. But I couldn't help it. I leaned over and grabbed the vibrator. I turned it on high and shoved it deep within me, arching my back and letting out a satisfied howl. I was so close already. Barely two seconds later, I screamed out in pleasure. My body felt like it was on fire. I continued masturbating, crying the whole time. I didn't know how much more I could take, but I couldn't stop. Everything was changing. With tears streaming down my face, I finally fell asleep.

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Chapter 2

The next day, I woke up to a bright light in my room. I slowly opened my eyes and found that light was streaming in from a skylight above me. I could see blue sky and clouds and I wondered if I'd ever see the outside again or if the skylight would be my only exposure to the outside world. The vibrator was still on, humming silently on the bed. I reached over and turned it off, resisting the urge to press it between my legs. I found that someone had brought my favorite breakfast into the room. French toast with strawberries and whipped cream. I sat down but I found I wasn't hungry. I forced myself to take a few bites, but even that was too much. I walked through the room, inspecting everything, trying to ignore my own reflection which always reminded me that I was naked and very aroused. I went to the bathroom and splashed some water on my face. I brushed my teeth with the toothbrush I found next to the sink. I thought about taking a shower, but when I saw the familiar shower massager, I stopped. I didn't trust myself.

I walked back out into the main room. There was a TV, which was strange since I hadn't been allowed to watch TV before. I turned it on and flipped through the channels, but nothing caught my interest. There was a bookshelf and I took out a book and started reading it but found I couldn't concentrate on it. It was getting harder and harder to ignore that urge deep within me. I would be stronger today, I said to myself. I could resist it. I knew I could. I decided to take a cold shower to rid my body of these overwhelming desires that were invading my body. If I closed my eyes, I wouldn't see the shower massager, and I would be able to stand firm. I wouldn't humiliate myself again.

I stepped into the shower and noticed that one wall inside the shower was a mirror. Someone could stand right next to the mirror on the other side and they'd be inches from my naked body. I wondered how many people were in that big round room watching me. I closed my eyes and turned on the water. I shrieked when water hit me from everywhere. There were hidden sprayers in the walls that pulsated on my breasts and my clitoris. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off, and it wasn't helping me cool off. It only accentuated my sexual needs and I started moaning. It felt so good. Before I knew it, I was holding onto the wall, aiming the pulsating water jets right onto my clitoris as I came hard, my moans echoing through the bathroom. I knew they were all watching me as I came again and again but I didn't care. All I cared about was my next orgasm. What was wrong with me?

I don't know how long I stood in the shower, but it had to have been a long time because my fingers were wrinkled by the time I shut off the water. And yet, I wasn't satisfied. I walked around the bathroom looking for a towel, but I couldn't see any. I saw air vents along the wall, and I stepped towards them, looking for a way to turn them on. As I stepped closer, they turned on automatically, blowing warm air onto my body, drying me in seconds.

I returned to the room and saw the vibrator and it was calling out to me. It was as if my body had taken over. I couldn't stop myself. I had to have more. I lay on the bed and continued masturbating. The whole day, I slept, masturbated, showered, masturbated some more, slept, masturbated again. I was insatiable. Soon, I was no longer concerned with the people on the other side of the mirror as I achieved one delicious orgasm after another. The vibrator constantly hummed against my clitoris and I closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation as I came again.

I heard a noise and opened my eyes. Halley was standing there with another naked girl. They were smiling at me. I quickly turned off the vibrator and sat up.

"Trista, I'd like you to meet Elle."

The girl stepped forward to shake my hand. She looked a little older than me, but I couldn't tell. Perhaps she was my age, but she seemed more comfortable with her nudity as she stood there, rubbing the underside of her large full breasts. Milk was dripping from her nipples and I could smell each droplet as they flowed out of her breasts. It smelled like warm sweet milk laced with honey and I was horrified to realize that I wanted to put my mouth around her coral nipple and taste it.

"Welcome," she said.

I looked away, trying not to inhale deeply so I wouldn't be overcome by the strong scent of her milk. "Elle is going to help ease you into your new home," Halley said. "We had hoped to wait but you're more mature than we realized. We're going to have to move quickly."

I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay here, isolated. I didn't care how many people were watching me, as long as I didn't have to see them, I'd be fine.

Elle gently, but firmly took my hand and led me out the door. Milk was dripping off her nipples, splashing onto her smooth belly and her legs as she walked, but she just ignored it. Every now and then she would catch a few drops with her fingers and taste them. We entered a long hallway and at the end, she opened a door and led me outside into the bright sunlight. It was like a resort. There were swimming pools, large grassy areas and even basketball courts and tennis courts. In the distance, I could see horses tied up in a corral at the foot of the nearest mountain range.

"Where exactly is this place?"

"We're just east of San Diego. All the linderi want to come here because we have the best weather. You can use the outdoor pool year round."

As we walked around, I didn't see anyone except humans. Elle and I were the only ones naked, but the humans didn't seem to notice our lack of clothing. I wasn't sure I would ever be able to get used to it.

"Usually this place is crawling with linderi, but it's off limits today because you're in heat so we can't have you mixing with the general population. Once you've been fully assimilated, you can come here as often as you like with your partner. Of course only on the days when you're not in heat."

"Excuse me?" I asked. "I'm in what?"

"Heat. You're in heat. If you ever feel like you need to orgasm, just let me know and we can stop if you like."

I shook my head. She had talked about it so casually as if she was talking about the flu or something. Is that why I could never feel satisfied? I remembered all those days back home when I had spent all day in my room masturbating. Had I been in heat then? After every orgasm, I had been so ashamed at my lack of self-control. At first, it only happened every few months, but after Keaton and I had fucked in the forest, it had been once a week. I was in heat. It just sounded so barbaric.

She showed me her own apartment, which looked just like mine. But I didn't see any signs of anyone else living there. "Do you have a partner?" I asked tentatively.

"I did, but we're both being paired up with another breeding partner soon. We just had a baby a few weeks ago, and your foster parents took her home yesterday," she replied happily. "As soon as my milk dries up and I'm fertile again, I'll be ready." I casually looked around her room, not wanting to stare at her personal items. I saw her bed with a whole collection of vibrators on the nightstand. I fought the urge to jump on her bed and start masturbating. I couldn't believe how strong the desire was.

She led me into a building that could only be described as a spa. "This is my favorite room." She opened a door and there were rows and rows of chairs that looked like the ones in a dentist's office. "Come here. Step up and let me show you how to use them." I sat in one of the chairs and she pushed a button and my legs were forced open and I saw the familiar metal cylinder rise up between my legs. Part of me wanted to stop it, but I could feel the familiar stirrings again. I didn't want an orgasm, I needed it. The chair adjusted itself until the phallus was firmly inserted in my pussy and I moaned as it entered and filled me completely. It turned on and I found myself being fucked again. A vibration started low and deep right on my clitoris and I could feel it building again but I didn't fight it this time. Within a few seconds, I was screaming as I climaxed. I came again and again moaning louder with each one. This was so much better than the vibrator in my room.

Finally it turned off and I opened my eyes. I could see Elle's milk was quickly flowing out of her breasts in steady drips. I tried not to breathe in her scent, but it was hard to ignore as I tried to catch my breath. "Did you like it? Mostly unattached females use these. They're open for all females, but usually the ones who are attached prefer to be with their partners than use the machines. But when you really need a good orgasm, this is perfect. There's also a room for the guys as well. I've heard it feels better than a blowjob." I could only nod as my breathing slowed. Strangely, I wasn't embarrassed about it. I had just needed a release so badly.

"Frequent orgasms help keep us fertile and it dries up our milk faster." She sounded like Halley. She showed me a door at the end of the hallway that led to the wing where my room was located. "When you're in heat, you can come straight here through this door to use the machines. When you're in heat, it's important that you don't interact with any of the other males, only your partner." I blushed as I remembered Keaton ripping my clothes off to fuck me. He had seemed possessed.
After showing me the library, the media room, the computer lab and the gym, she finally led me back into my own room where Halley was waiting for us. Elle said goodbye and she gave me a hug, pressing her wet breasts against my own, making me uncomfortable as I resisted the urge to take one of her wet nipples into my mouth and lap up her milk.

"Am I in heat?" I asked Halley after Elle had left.

She inhaled deeply, then nodded her head. "Yes, I should have explained it to you sooner, but we weren't quite sure until we'd analyzed your blood. Some new females masturbate simply because it comforts them after they arrive so we couldn't be certain. But when I saw Elle's breasts react, I knew for sure you were in heat. Elle isn't fertile because she just gave birth, but your scent made her milk flow. I didn't want you to get scared or confused. It can be frightening for newly mature linderi females when they go into heat for the first time. But your foster parents told us you already went into heat before you arrived so the feelings are all familiar to you, right?"

I was mortified. How would they know that? "How-- how did they--?" I couldn't even ask her.

"Your room at home had a hidden camera so they could observe you when you were alone. They were concerned because of the frequency of days you were in heat. Usually, our females come to us having experienced it once, if at all. The first heat cycle is usually very mild. But towards the end, your parents told us that it was happening every few days. That must have been hard for you, not understanding why you had to masturbate all the time. But our analysis of your blood shows that you are fully sexually mature now."

I looked down at the floor. I couldn't look at her just yet. "How long does it last?"

"Usually one day. Once you've reached full sexual maturity, you go into heat about every other day."

So, tomorrow would be less embarrassing than today. That was something to look forward to.

"But I have to warn you Trista. It means we'll have to start the breeding process sooner than later. Usually we like our young females to get to know their partners before they mate, but if you're in heat, he won't be able to help himself. It might be quite frightening if you don't know him very well. Once he smells you, it will be hard for him to resist, but since you've already lost your virginity, it won't hurt as much."

I started to shake. He was going to rape me.

"Would you like to see your breeding partner? We can't let you meet face to face since you're in heat, but you can see him from the observation deck. It'll be less frightening for you when you're in heat again and it's time to mate. He's just arrived from a breeding center in Washington."

I thought about it. Did I want to see him? I wasn't sure.

"We already know you'll be attracted to him," she explained.

"How would you know that?"

"We pair breeding partners based on the diversity of their immune systems. When we breed two linderi with different systems, your offspring tend to be healthier. And studies have shown that linderi are more attracted to the scent of another linderi with different immunities. So, we're sure you'll be attracted to him based on his pheromones."

"Would you like to have another orgasm before we see him?" I shook my head, although I did want another release.

She led me down some hallways, my arousal growing with each step. I looked down and saw that my inner thighs were coated with my slick juice. She led me back into the large round room with the mirrors. I followed her to a window and I saw him. He was tall and very muscular and he was taking a shower. He was gorgeous. What would he see in me, I wondered. I felt insecure. What if he didn't like me?

"What's his name?" I asked.

"Matthew."

"Matthew," I repeated. "How old is he?"

"Eighteen."

"Is he a virgin?"

"No, he's already fathered a child already. He's very fertile. It only took him a week to impregnate his partner. He'll know how to please you. He's also got a little bit more self-control than the younger ones."

I watched as his penis grew larger as he shampooed his hair. Wow, it was huge. He rinsed off his hair and started stroking his penis. He leaned back onto the wall and continued rubbing his hand up and down his large cock. I was embarrassed watching him, but I couldn't look away. My nipples were so hard, they were starting to ache and I squeezed my legs together as I watched him pump faster and faster. He finally let out a groan as he came, milky ropes of his ejaculate landing on his belly. As I watched him, I felt myself climax. I hadn't even realized I was masturbating along with him but I found myself standing there, breathless, with my hand between my legs. I looked at Halley and she smiled at me. Other scientists were watching me approvingly.

"I'm pleased that you like him," she said. I wiped my wet hand on my belly as she led me back to my room. My dinner was waiting for me and I picked at it, too nervous to eat while Halley watched me.

"I don't want to burden you with too much information at this point. I really would like to take this slowly, until you're more comfortable. But unfortunately, we don't have that option."

"Why? What would happen if we waited?" I asked.

"You'll lose your ability to reproduce."

"And what if I did?"

Halley smiled and pat my hand. "We don't have to go into that now."

I wanted to pursue it, but I was too exhausted to ask any more questions. Perhaps it would be better if I didn't know everything right now. Halley told me she'd come to get me when I woke up in the morning.

As I drifted off to sleep, I realized I probably wasn't in heat anymore because I didn't feel like I needed to orgasm again. That animalistic need wasn't there anymore.

In the morning, I woke up and took a shower. I let the water jets pulsate against my breasts and clitoris, allowing myself one small orgasm. I washed my hair and brushed my teeth. I walked up to the air jets and dried myself off. As usual, my breakfast was waiting for me. I wasn't that hungry, but I took a few bites. As I sat there, Halley entered my room.

"Good morning," she smiled. "They tell me you aren't in heat anymore."

I shrugged. "I guess I'm not."

"Usually, we like our new females to meet the other linderi first, before meeting their partner, but since your heat cycles are faster than we expected at your age, we think you should meet your partner first and form a bond. Then when you're ready, you can meet the others after you've consummated."

I felt like I was going to be sick. She smiled. "Let's go meet Matthew. I'm going to take you to the room you'll be sharing with him in the breeding wing. He's already moved in."

She led me out the door and I followed her, my anxiety growing with each step. I was about to meet someone who was going to fuck me. He would be naked, and I would be naked. If I went into heat tomorrow, he was probably going to rape me. And we were expected to have a child together. I really wasn't sure how I felt about all this, but I knew I didn't have a choice. This is what I was created for. It was my destiny.

We stopped in front of a door and she turned to me. "The only advice I have is to just follow your instincts. Don't think about what's happening too much." She smiled at me, reassuringly and opened the door.

She walked in and I heard her greet someone in the room. I heard a silky male voice and my nipples hardened automatically. I was already attracted to him, and I hadn't even seen him in person yet. I sensed something in the air. It was coming from the room. It was him. I could smell him and I wanted to run to him. I felt an overwhelming desire to be with him. Halley stuck her head out of the room. "Come on Trista." She smiled at me, and turned to the person in the room. "She's nervous, but she's beautiful."

"I know," I heard him say. "I couldn't take my eyes off her yesterday." I was really going to be sick. If he had seen me yesterday, he had seen me masturbating because that was all I had done the whole day.

I tentatively took a step and stood in the doorway, staring at my feet. I slowly looked up and I saw him smiling at me. I swooned. I have no other way of describing it. I found myself totally and utterly in love with him. I walked in and he embraced me, the way lovers embrace after being separated for a long time. I rested my cheek on his strong chest and he smelled like-- I couldn't quite place it. He smelled like I had always loved him. I started crying, wondering where he'd been all these years because I had missed him so much. It was so strange. I didn't want to let him go as I held onto him, crying. I couldn't understand how or why I was feeling this way.

I heard the door close and I knew Halley was pleased with my reaction and she had left us alone. He stroked my hair as I cried. He gently lifted me up and carried me to the bed and tenderly lowered me. As he held me, he caressed my face, my shoulders. He didn't say a word. He just let me cry until I fell asleep in his arms.

I woke up and looked around, confused. All of my things were in the room now. The room was larger than my old one. Matthew was in bed next to me, laying on his side and propped up on his elbow, watching me.

"Good morning," he smiled. He was even more stunning now than when I first saw him.

I sat up. "Have I really been sleeping that long?" Fear set in. Was I in heat now? Was he going to attack me?

"No, you've only been asleep a little while, but it's still technically morning."

Relieved, I lay back down. I wanted to snuggle up to this stranger. I wanted to kiss him. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, trying not to make it so obvious. I wondered what I was supposed to do.

"What do we do now?" I asked.

He laughed. "This must all be so weird for you."

I covered my face with my hands. "I'm so confused. I don't know what's happening to me, I don't know why I'm feeling this way, like I--" I couldn't tell him how I was really feeling. It was too embarrassing.

"Like you're in love with me--although we've just met--and you're wondering why you feel happy that we're finally together again, although you've just seen me for the first time."

I looked at him. I didn't have to say anything. This stranger, this man I already loved understood.

"Just close your eyes," he said. "Let your instincts take over."

I closed my eyes.

"What do you smell?"

I took a deep breath. I couldn't explain it, but I smelled love. "You," I whispered. "It smells like you love me but I don't know how..."

He placed his hand on my belly.

"What do you feel?"

"I feel--" I paused. His hand on my belly felt warm like serenity. The warmth spread to my whole body and I felt like I was slowly melting into a pool of smooth rich chocolate. Like we were both melting together. "I feel like we're slowly becoming one."

I felt his warm lips on mine. And I felt like he had always been my lover. He was my soulmate and I wanted to be with him forever. I opened my eyes. He smiled down at me. "You're so beautiful," he whispered as he stroked my hair. He kissed me again and I moaned with pleasure as I felt my desire rise within me. As we kissed, I took his hand and placed it on my breast. He started rubbing and twirling my hard nipple as I squirmed under his touch.

He kissed my neck, and my chest. Then he put his soft lips on my nipple and began gently suckling it. I ran my hands over his back, through his hair and his shoulders. It felt like I could taste him and smell him with my hands. It was the strangest sensation. I wanted him, I wanted to make love to him. I spread my legs and pulled him on top of me. He looked into my eyes and I felt like crying. I was so happy, and so in love. I could feel his hard cock press against the lips of my wet pussy and I wanted him, like I'd never wanted anyone before. When he finally entered me, I let out a moan and arched my back. How could it feel this good?

He gently thrust inside me, and I could actually taste his cock like I had a tongue inside me. I wanted to eat him, devour him. He thrust faster and harder and within seconds, I was crying out as I came. My orgasm felt unbelievable, as if I had opened up and he had entered my soul and we were truly one. Within seconds, he tensed up and cried out and I knew he had come inside me. I could taste and feel his semen coat the inside of my pussy and as I felt it caress me from the inside, I climaxed again with just the touch of his seed. He kissed me deeply and I started to cry. For once, I wasn't crying from fear or shame. I was crying out of joy and love.

We lay together, breathing heavily. "I love you," he whispered.

"How is that possible? I don't understand," I cried. "I feel like I've always loved you. Why do I feel like that?"

"Shhh..." he whispered. "Don't think about it too much. Just let it happen."

I lay my head against his chest as I explored his body with my hands. It was as if all of my senses were united. I couldn't just feel him, I could taste him, and I could hear him, I could just sense him through my fingertips. I listened to his heart beating and I wondered how much of him was almost human. How much of me was almost human. He had fathered a child already. Is this how he felt with his first partner? Did he still love her?

I had so many questions, and I didn't know where to start.

"How did you feel when you first found out you weren't human?" I finally asked.

He lay back and looked at the ceiling and I snuggled into him, letting my hand wander across his chest and his belly.

"My foster parents live in Oregon. When I turned 17, they took me on a trip. I thought it was just one last vacation before I went off to college, but on the way they told me about a new species called the homo linderi. They brought me to a breeding center in Washington and that's when I learned that I was one of them. But it wasn't hard for me to adjust, other than being naked all the time. That was embarrassing at first, especially when they did the first exam and they had this machine that forced me to ejaculate into a vial."

I felt better knowing that I wasn't the only one who had been subjected to that first exam. "Tell me about your first partner."

"Well, she was older than me--she'd already had a few breeding partners. It was strange for me when I first met her because I felt like she was filling a hole in my heart that I didn't even realize existed. It was just so strange to feel that way about a complete stranger."

"Why does that happen? Will I fall in love with every linderi I meet?"

"No, since we've consummated, we'll stay in love until after our baby is born. Once you meet your next partner, you'll fall in love with him."

"I'm not sure I want to be with anyone else. Why can't we stay together?" Tears were already forming in my eyes at the thought of being separated from him.

He laughed and wiped away my tears. "You'll change. Don't worry. You'll see." I already knew I didn't want to change.

"So you're not in love with her still?" I asked as a pang of jealousy ricocheted off my heart.

He smiled at me. "No, I'm in love with you." And he kissed me again. We stayed in the room the whole day, making love over and over again. When I thought about how much I loved him, it felt too surreal. I remembered Halley telling me not to think about it too much and to just let my instincts take over. It was wonderful. I was happy.

Later that night, we were in the shower together, washing each other. I could taste his semen as it dripped down my leg.

I thought about Keaton and I hoped he was happy. I was surprised to realize that I didn't love Keaton anymore. I was in love with Matthew. I understood now that Keaton couldn't help himself either, once he sensed that I was in heat. But would a human have been able to resist? Matthew stopped shampooing my hair and aimed the water at my head, rinsing me off.

"Is it possible for humans and linderi to fall in love?"

"I don't know. I suppose it's possible. But I don't think humans and linderi are genetically compatible. I'm not sure they'd be able to have a child together. And linderi fall in love based on their senses. We can smell each other's hormones so we know if a pair has consummated, or if someone is fertile or in heat. Humans don't smell like anything so I don't think we'd be attracted to them."

"But it's possible for humans and linderi to mate?"

"Yes, it's possible, and it happens more than we'd like."

"Here? It happens here?"

Matthew laughed. "No, not here. Out there. In the real world. Linderi are often taken advantage of by humans. That's why the world doesn't know we exist. But the ones out there are forced into the sex trade and they often work as sex slaves or in the pornography industry. Afterwards, sometimes they have to spend years in a rehabilitation center, and some of them don't get to breed at all."

I was shocked. "But how do they end up like that?"

"Most of them are kidnapped from their foster parents as soon as they become mature. And they don't realize that they're not human. They think they've been drugged and that's why they can never be sexually satisfied. Humans sometimes take a drug called ecstasy which I've heard is sort of like being in heat, but not quite."

"One of my friends told me about that. One of my human friends. She told me her boyfriend gave it to her and that it made everything more intense."

"And your parents let you stay friends with her?" He seemed shocked.

I paused. "No, actually. Come to think of it, we sort of drifted after that. I always thought she didn't want to be my friend anymore, but I'm pretty sure my parents had something to do with that. But now I understand why I could never relate to my human friends. When I was younger, the neighborhood kids would invite me to their birthday parties. I think they felt sorry for me. The poor isolated homeschooled kid who was never allowed outside of the house without parental supervision." I laughed. "But I always felt like I didn't understand them. And when I was a teenager, I felt like they didn't understand me. Do you ever think about your friends? Your human friends? Or your foster parents?"

"No, not really. I think once you meet the others, you'll understand why."

"No, you have to tell me." I turned to face him. "What will it be like? I don't want any more surprises."

He smiled. "Once you meet another linderi, you'll feel like they're your long-lost best friend, or a brother or sister you haven't seen in a long time."

"But I met a linderi. Yesterday. She gave me a tour of the grounds. I felt more embarrassed being around her than anything."

"But you were in heat. It'll be different when you're not in heat."

"Do guys go into heat?"

"No, unfortunately," he laughed. "I would love to experience it for once."

"It's terrible. All you can think about is sex and your next orgasm."

"That's all I think about now," he grinned.

"But, it's like you're not the same person. It's like you're possessed. I don't like who I am when I'm in heat."

"You're very beautiful when you're in heat," he whispered as he kissed my neck.

I flushed. "You watched me."

"I loved watching you." He nibbled on my ear.

"I watched you too," I whispered as a shiver went through my body.

He took my breasts into his hands and rubbed my nipples with his thumbs. "Did I give you a good show?"

"Yes," I hissed as I leaned back onto the wall, unable to stand anymore as he continued twirling my nipples between his thumb and forefinger. "You gave me a great show."

"What was I doing?"

"You were in the shower."

He leaned down and took one of my wet nipples into his mouth.

"You were pleasuring yourself," I whispered. "And when you came, I did too."
"I wish I'd known you were there," he whispered turning me around and rubbing his penis onto my ass. I bent forward and leaned against the wall, spreading my legs for him. He slowly inserted his penis into my wet pussy and fucked me hard, until we both climaxed again. I would never grow tired of Matthew.

Afterwards as we were laying in bed, I realized the day was almost over.

"I'm scared about tomorrow," I told him.

"Why?"

"Halley said my heat cycles are accelerated so I might be in heat tomorrow. She said you would attack me."

He turned to look at me. "She said I would attack you?"

"Not in so many words. She said you wouldn't be able to resist me and you wouldn't be able to help yourself."

He smiled. "She's right. I won't be able to resist you, but I promise I'll try to be gentle if you promise you'll be gentle with me." His eyes were teasing.

I kissed him and we fell asleep in each other's arms, perfectly fitting into the curves of each other's naked bodies. I never imagined that I could be so happy.

I woke up sometime before dawn, hungry. But I realized I wasn't hungry for food. I was hungry for him. I leaned over and took his soft penis into my mouth and started sucking. He moaned in his sleep as I felt his erection grow. He squirmed and I knew he had woken up. He ran his fingers through my hair as I continued licking his penis up and down. He tasted so good. I wanted to taste all of him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered and he pushed me off him. He got on top of me and roughly spread my legs with his knees. I spread my legs wider, waiting for him. He rammed his cock into me, hard. But it still wasn't hard enough. I lifted my legs up to my chest giving him full access and he thrust hard and deep. "More," I whispered. "I need more." He groaned and pumped me harder until I was moaning. I could feel it rising inside me. I wanted to come like I'd never wanted anything before. I could hear his penis talking to me, coaxing me to squeeze and stroke and lick it. I climbed higher and higher. It only took seconds to reach the peak and I screamed out as we came. He collapsed on top of me and I felt his semen inside me, it felt delicious like sweet velvety milk. As he pulled out, some of it got on my clitoris and I cried out at the sensation. It was as if his semen was licking me, kissing me, sucking me towards another orgasm. I cried out. It felt exquisite, and yet so strange to have an orgasm without being touched. I would never get used to that.

I lay there breathless. I wanted more.

I was in heat again.

All day long, we fucked. It was hard and rough, but it still wasn't enough. I wanted it harder and rougher, stopping only to sleep. But when I woke up, I wanted even more. I wasn't hungry and refused all food, but when I awoke to find Matthew eating or reading, I was jealous of the attention he was paying his meal or his book. I wanted him to eat me, to study me. Later that evening, it finally slowed. Exhausted, I finally lay in bed, panting.

Matthew lifted me up and carried me to the bathroom. He set me down in the tub, which he had filled with warm soapy water. The water felt strange today. It felt different on my skin, like I was bathing in pudding. He stepped into the water behind me and I leaned back, feeling his soft penis against my back, but I had no desire to grab it and force it to pleasure me again. It was over. I had survived my first heat cycle with Matthew.

"See?" he said. "You had nothing to worry about it."

"I'm sorry. I had no idea it would be like that."

"Well, for the younger females, sometimes they resist what's happening to them, so it really feels like they're being attacked. But I think you're an exceptional female."

I blushed. "You must be tired," I said as I closed my eyes.

"I'm okay." He washed my hair and cleaned off my body. I must have fallen asleep in the tub because I found myself in bed in his warm embrace. I inhaled and smelled love circling all around us.

-------------------

Chapter 3

"Halley wants you to meet some of the others," Matthew said to me when I got out of bed to eat my breakfast.

"I don't want to. I just want to stay here forever. With you."

"Since you're not in heat anymore, we can go outside."

Outside. I missed outside. I wanted to feel the warm sun on my skin. We left our room and saw linderi in the hallways. They all embraced me as I passed, telling me how happy they were to see me. It was like being a part of a family. A large happy family. I was introduced and everyone told me their names, and surprisingly, I remembered each and every one because they each smelled different. I could sense how old they were, how many children they'd had, how long they'd been with their partners. It was as if their memories had been written into their cells and I could smell them.

After swimming in the pool, Matthew and I were laying side by side in one of the double lounge chairs in the shade. All around us, I saw linderi either sleeping or fucking or talking and laughing. I noticed there were no single pool chairs, only doubles and each one was occupied with a couple who were laying close to each other, their hands exploring each other's bodies. I saw many of the females were in various stages of pregnancy. I got used to hearing moans and other sounds of pleasure. As I looked around, I realized we were all young. I didn't see anyone above the age of 30.

"Matthew?" I asked.

"Mmm hmmm?" he answered. With his eyes closed, he lifted his hand and caressed my breast.

"Why is everyone so young here? I don't see anyone who looks like they're above 30."

Matthew stopped rubbing for a few seconds, before resuming. "Linderi don't live past 30 or 35," he said softly. He opened his eyes and leaned over and kissed me. "But don't think about that right now. You've got a lot of years left to live." I lay back in his arms. Thirty seemed awfully young to me. I calculated in my head.

"So my parents?" I asked.

Matthew paused. "I'm not sure, but--" he stopped. "Try not to think about it if it upsets you," he said and he kissed me.

I looked around at everyone. They were all very beautiful. Every single one of them. No wonder the linderi were exploited by the pornography industry. I wondered about some of the poor girls I had seen that one time a friend showed me her father's porn collection. I wondered how many were actually linderi in the video.

I saw a girl on the other side of the pool watching us. She was alone. I couldn't read the expression on her face, but it didn't look pleasant to me. It almost seemed like jealousy. Did she know me? Did she know Matthew? Was that his former partner?

"Matthew?" I asked again.

"Mmm hmmm?" he answered, but this time he opened his eyes and kissed me again.

"Does your former partner live here?"

He sat up and kissed me again. "No, she lives at the Seattle center. Why do you want to know?"

"No reason," I said. The girl was still watching us.

He followed my gaze and saw the girl looking at me.

"Trista, you don't have to worry about jealous ex-partners. Jealousy is a human trait. Just like depression and anger. Linderi don't feel any of those emotions. And we definitely don't get jealous."

I thought about that for a moment. It wasn't true though. I had gotten jealous when I first met him, when he was telling me about his former partner. It wasn't anything else. It was definitely jealousy. And when I was in heat, I was jealous of the attention he was paying his food, or his book.

"Are you sure we don't feel jealousy? What if a linderi does feel jealous. What does that mean?"

He thought about it for a second. "I'm not sure. I've never heard of a jealous linderi before."

So I was a freak then, I thought. I knew there was something wrong with me. "But what if a male decides he likes someone else's partner better than the one he's got, and he seduces her, or somehow gets to her when she's in heat? Wouldn't there be jealousy?"

"But that would never happen. When you're with a partner, every other linderi feels like your brother or sister or your best friend. When you smell them, you somehow feel like it would be wrong to mate with them."

"But what if a male doesn't have a partner, and he happens to find a female who has a partner, and she's in heat. And they end up having sex, just because he can't help it. Wouldn't her partner get jealous then?"

He laughed. "You're thinking too much. Anyway, it's against the rules for a female to leave her room when she's in heat, and unattached males can't mix with the general population either. They have their own separate gym and pool."

"So it's possible."

He laughed. "Yes, I suppose it would be possible. But if you follow the rules, then there's no jealousy, right?"

I looked back at the girl and saw that she was masturbating. Milk was flowing from her breasts. She threw her head back in ecstasy when she came.

Watching her orgasm had turned me on. Matthew sensed my arousal and I could see his penis growing. I looked around. I wasn't sure I was ready to fuck him out here in the open. But when he kissed me. I didn't care anymore. Everything else disappeared and I could only see Matthew. I only wanted Matthew. He got on top of me and fucked me out there under the warm sun, under the puffy white clouds. I loved him with everything I had.

We spent the next few months making love and sleeping and eating and swimming and making love some more. With each passing day, I fell deeper in love with Matthew and I wanted to stay with him forever. I was hoping I wouldn't get pregnant right away so it would prolong my stay with him. I never wanted to be apart from him. Matthew assured me that once we had a child, the idea of making love to him would be repulsive to me, like he was my brother. But I refused to believe it.

I had gotten used to the routine of my heat cycles. One day I woke up, expecting to be in heat, but something was different. Something felt different and I wasn't sure what it was. I looked at Matthew, still sleeping next to me and I snuggled into him, our naked bodies still fitting perfectly into each other. I wasn't sure how another linderi could compare to him. He was perfect for me and I didn't want to leave him. I didn't want anyone else.

He stirred and took a deep breath, stretching. He suddenly sat up and looked at me. He leaned in and took another deep breath. He smiled at me.

"You're pregnant."

"How do you know?"

"I can smell it." He embraced me. "We're having a baby!"

I started crying. But I wasn't crying from happiness. My heart was breaking. That meant I was going to lose Matthew.

Halley walked us to the clinic where they would run some tests. During the vaginal ultrasound I looked at the monitor at the tiny blobs on the screen and I started crying. I loved that baby, who was a part of me, and a part of Matthew, the perfect culmination of our love for each other. Not only would I lose Matthew, but I would also lose our baby. I would never watch it grow up, I would never see Matthew play with our child, the way I'd seen human parents play with their children at the playground. Matthew was crying too, but I knew he was crying from happiness. I started feeling resentment towards him. Didn't he care that we would probably never see our baby after the birth? That he would no longer be in love with me anymore?

"The ultrasound is showing something unusual," the doctor said. "We're going to have to run some more tests." A few more doctors came in and looked at the ultrasound, pointing at the screen and talking in hushed tones. I started to get scared.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, Trista. Everything is great. We just need to take some blood to check the levels of some of your hormones." I started to relax but Matthew looked worried.

"What's going on?" I whispered to him.

"I don't know. They usually don't take any blood until later."

After I gave them a blood sample, we were told to go back to our room and a doctor would be in later to give us the results.

"No more isolation," Matthew said as we walked back to our room. "You won't be in heat anymore until the baby is born."

"But we can still make love, right?"

Matthew grinned. "Everyday. In fact, we have to. Unborn babies need the father's semen in order to grow. They actually feed on it. Without it, they'll die."

We entered our room to find our breakfast waiting for us, double portions for me. As we were eating, the door opened and Halley entered the room with a doctor.

"We've got the results back." I couldn't read the expression on her face.

"Everything's fine, right?"

"Yes, everything's fine. In fact, I have to say that we're very surprised at the results. Congratulations... you're having twins."

"Twins? But that's impossible!" Matthew exclaimed.

"Not impossible. Just very very rare. We only know of three other twin births in the history of our captive breeding program."

"Are we in danger?"

"I'm afraid I don't have many answers for you. We just don't have that much experience dealing with twins. We've only had one other twin birth here. Many many years ago. The others were at different centers. We'll be watching your pregnancy very carefully. And for the duration, it's important for the babies to feed on the father's semen everyday. Since there are two babies to feed, you'll have to feed the babies twice a day."

I smiled at Matthew. "I think I can put up with nine months of that."

"Three months."

"Only the first three months?"

"No, linderi pregnancies only last three months."

"Oh." That meant I only had three more months to be with Matthew. It wasn't long enough.

After Halley left, we made love. It was different than before. I wasn't sure if it felt different because I was pregnant, or because I knew that I only had three more months to make love to Matthew. My heart was breaking. As we walked around the grounds, everyone congratulated us when they smelled my pregnancy. Matthew enthusiastically talked about the twins to everyone. Everyone told us they would be beautiful.

As my belly grew, I started to panic at the passing time. When I started feeling the babies moving, it made me sad. My breasts grew heavy with milk and I was looking forward to holding my babies and nursing them. I would only be given a few weeks to nurse them before we were separated. I knew Matthew would be paired with another breeding partner right away. We would never be able to share the joy of our beautiful babies together. We wouldn't even be able to name them, although I still thought of perfect baby names for them.

We made love twice a day and each orgasm was bittersweet. I knew there would only be a few left as I got closer to my due date.

We were laying in bed and Matthew had his hand on my belly while he was reading. He was rubbing in circles and one of the babies was softly kicking at his hand, almost as if the baby knew it was daddy's hand on the other side. I knew Matthew loved the babies as much as I did.

"Was your first child a boy or a girl?" I asked.

"It was a boy," he answered.

"Do you ever think about him?"

He paused. "Yes."

"Did you ever hold him before he was taken away?"

"Yes," he whispered. I turned to look at him and saw tears in his eyes. "I didn't want to let him go," he said, his voice breaking. I sat up and held him. I kissed him. When his tears spilled over, I kissed them away, tasting his heartbreak.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered. "I didn't mean to bring it up. I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay. I know you're sad about losing the babies. But this is what's best for them. They can't stay here. They might die if they stay here. We have to let them go in order to give them a chance."

I kissed him softly, the tears silently flowing down my face. "You're right," I whispered as I held him. "I love these babies so much."

"I've decided I'm not going to see them after they're born."

I wanted to ask him why, but I already knew the answer. And I loved him even more for that.

-------------------

Chapter 4

I woke up and felt like I was flying. I opened my eyes and found that I was being carried somewhere in the dark. A human was carrying me. Was something wrong? Did something happen to the babies? I started to panic. I tried to lift my head, but I was so weak. Too weak.

I was covered in a blanket and it was hurting my skin. I couldn't breath. I felt like I was sick, my head was spinning. Why would they cover me with a blanket? They knew how much it hurt our skin. I closed my eyes and drifted in and out of sleep.

I woke up in a dirty room. There was a stained mattress on the floor and a filthy toilet in the corner. I rolled onto my side and heard chains clinking. I looked down and saw that one of my ankles was chained to the wall. Something was terribly wrong.

The door opened and a woman walked in. She was human. She was carrying a tray of food which she left on a table next to me without saying a word.

"Is something wrong with me? Are the babies okay?"

She just ignored me and left.

I rubbed my belly and felt both babies moving within me. In just a few weeks, I would be giving birth. Where was Matthew? I tried to remain calm. I tried telling myself that nothing was wrong.

The door opened again and a naked man was thrown into the room. I could smell that he was a linderi. His fear was so great, I could actually taste it.

"What's happening?" I asked.

"I have to fuck you, for your baby." he said.

"Who are you? Where's Matthew?"

"You've been kidnapped. We've all been abducted." Fear set in. I clutched my belly. I didn't want anything to happen to my babies. I didn't care if I died, as long as I knew that my babies were going to be okay.

"Who kidnapped me? Where am I?"

He just shook his head. "I have to feed your baby my semen," he said. "I'm sorry."

I knew he was right. But I wasn't sure I'd be able to have sex with him. He was beautiful, but I was automatically repulsed by it. And I knew he felt the same way about me. We weren't meant to consummate.

He walked towards me, and I automatically backed away.

"Please," he pleaded. "They'll torture me if I don't fuck you. If your baby dies, then they'll kill you. Actually, if you're lucky, you'll die. But even if your baby dies, they may still decide to keep you."

"Who are they?" I asked, trembling.

"The humans. People pay money to watch us fuck."

I started crying. "But, how? How did I end up here?"

"I don't know." He sat on the mattress next to me. "We have to do this," he said. And I knew he was right.

I got on all fours on the disgusting mattress. I lowered myself onto my elbows, presenting my pussy to him, the only position I was able to have sex with my round belly. Embedded into the mattress, I could smell the semen of countless other males, both linderi and human, and I started crying. I could also smell blood, faded but still strong enough for me to sense fear and despair in the cells. I didn't want to do this. But I knew my babies would die if I didn't. I wasn't sure how many days they had gone without any semen. Would it taste different to them? "I'm sorry Matthew," I cried as I felt him enter me. "I'm sorry." And when I climaxed, I felt even more disgusting.

Afterwards, the door opened and a large human man came in the room and grabbed him, roughly pushing him out the door. I didn't even find out his name.

I cried myself to sleep, wondering if I would ever see Matthew again.

I was roughly shaken out of bed. I felt them remove the chain around my ankle and I was dragged down a dirty dark hallway. A sign on the wall said, "The Bear Wing" and I was pushed inside a door. There were other naked linderi in the room, men and women together. Everyone looked thin and they all had a glazed empty look in their eyes. No one bothered to look at me as I fell to the ground. As I lay there, I looked around at my surroundings, looking for an escape. There were trees all around us, although we were inside. Above us it was open to the sky and I could tell it was either early morning, or early evening. There were some beds and mattresses, but none of the linderi were sitting or laying on them, preferring the dirt instead. Across the way, there was a railing and empty chairs. As I looked around, I realized we were on display. It was a zoo.
I looked at the others. No one acknowledged me. I took a deep breath and I could tell that some of the men and women were together as consummate pairs. But I could also smell that the women were filled with the semen of different men, both linderi and human. One other female was pregnant, but she wasn't as far along as I was. And I could also tell that she wasn't bearing her partner's child.

A speaker crackled from somewhere overhead and a voice came on, a male voice with some kind of accent.

"Showtime in 5 minutes!" the voice announced enthusiastically. The chairs started filling up with people. Mostly men, but a few women as well. The lights dimmed and music started blaring as colored lights were flashing in time to the music.

"Ladies and gentlemen..." a voice boomed overhead. "Get ready for the most amazing display of animalistic lust you'll ever see. These people are so hot and horny that they can't help fuck each other's brains out. And by special request, today, we also have a pregnant whore!" I found myself in the spotlight and I held up my hand to protect my eyes from the bright light as people whistled and cheered.

"Let the show begin!"

A door opened on the side and five females were pushed into the room. They all fell on the ground. I could immediately smell that they were in heat.

I watched some of the men back away from them, turning their heads. They were holding their breath, trying in desperation not to catch their scent. But after a few moments, I knew they had smelled the females in heat. I watched in horror as one of the men, grabbed one of the females and started fucking her. Pretty soon, all of the men were gang raping the women in heat. Shoving their penises into every orifice possible, and the women were climaxing within seconds, screaming and begging for more as the audience yelled obscenities at them, encouraging the brutality.

The man who had fucked me earlier approached me and I cowered away from him.

"It'll be easier on you," he whispered. "Please." I complied, getting on all fours again, facing away from the crowd as he fucked me.

"When you orgasm, scream out," he whispered in my ear. "They won't punish you if you put on a good show." With each thrust, I could taste his penis, and it was bitter. I thought I was going to be sick.

"Fuck," I said.

"Louder," he coaxed.

"Fuck me harder!" I yelled. I closed my eyes as he thrust his penis in me. When I finally came, I started crying. I felt so dirty.

After a few hours, the audience cheered and left. Some humans came in and gathered the females who were in heat, forcibly removing a male who was still fucking one of the girls.

"No!" the female yelled. "Not yet!" She was panting and desperately clutched at him. The humans laughed and called her a slut as they pulled him out. She shoved her fingers inside her slick pussy, frantically rubbing her clitoris until she climaxed. I lay on the ground, cradling my belly, rancid semen from multiple males spilling out of my pussy and coating my face. I was numb. My heart was numb. I wanted to die.

Every day was the same, except I was visited by a different male every day to feed my babies his seed. Sometimes a human male would come in to fuck me and I cried after every orgasm. These humans had a lot of knowledge about the linderi and they used it against us. Every night, I was taken out and put on display for the sick humans who watched us fuck each other. Sometimes it was all of us together. Other times it was just me and one other male, or all of the females. The ones in heat didn't really care whether it was a female or a male that fucked them as long as they achieved their orgasms. One time it was just me and all the males as they all took turns fucking me. That was hard for them because I wasn't in heat and they all apologized as they fucked me. Sometimes I was taken to a smaller room where a human male would rape me. Human semen tasted like glue, which was disgusting, but not as revolting as the linderi semen. I could tolerate the taste of the humans, but not the violence. But every time I would orgasm, I hated myself for giving them that satisfaction.

By now, I thought the best option was for me to die and take my babies with me. I didn't want my precious babies, Matthew's babies, to be born into this kind of world. I would gladly give birth at the center and hand them over to their foster parents than have them grow up with these sadistic humans. I lost count how many days I had been there, but I knew it was almost time. My babies would be born soon, and I was scared. My babies' movements had slowed, and I didn't know what that meant.

None of the linderi seemed interested in getting to know me, and I really didn't want to talk to them either, but there was one young female who was somehow always near me while we waited for the show to begin. She had curly blond hair that fell into soft ringlets all around her face. She looked so young to me. So innocent.

"How long have you been here?" I asked her quietly.

"I don't know," she said. "My parents sold me to a man who brought me here."

"What do you mean, they sold you?"

"A few years ago, a man came and gave my parents some money and he took me away."

"You've been here for years?" I asked, incredulously.

"I think so. My parents told me I was a slut because I masturbated too much so they said I needed to be punished."

"Were they your foster parents?"

"No, they were my real parents," she said and then I realized, no one had told her the truth.

"Do you know about the linderi?" I asked her.

"No, I never went to school," she replied. My heart broke for this poor girl. She didn't know who she was. She felt she somehow deserved this life, she deserved to be punished.

One night, a different person came into the room to give me my food. He was a male and I'd never seen him before. He was dressed in the same uniform as all of the workers, but he didn't smell human. I looked up and took a deep breath. He was a linderi.

We locked eyes, and I took another breath. He was young, close to my age, he didn't have a consummate partner, but there was something different about the way he smelled. He set my food down on the table and told me to eat the oatmeal first. Then he turned around and left. Usually they never spoke to me unless they were going to fuck me. I hated oatmeal, but I choked it down and I found a key at the bottom of the bowl. I unlocked the chain on my ankle and crept across the room, my heart beating in my throat. I went to the door and saw there wasn't a lock or anything. Just a handle with no place to put the key. I pulled the door open a crack, surprised that it was unlocked. I waited. I took a deep breath, inhaling the air in the hallway and I couldn't smell any humans. I could only smell the linderi male. I followed his scent to the end of the corridor but it stopped cold. I felt a hand grab me and cover my mouth and pull me into a room.

I gasped. It was the male linderi. I found myself in a storage closet with concrete walls and empty metal shelves.

"My name is Wes," he said. "We have to work quickly. Here, put these on." He handed me some clothes, a uniform that looked like his. The shirt wouldn't button over my rounded belly so I could only button it at the top. It was rough and it hurt, it felt like sandpaper, but I knew I had no choice.

"Where are you taking me?"

"I'll explain later." He handed me a broom and opened the door a crack, and we walked down a long hallway. He suddenly stopped and sniffed the air. "Turn around and start sweeping," he whispered. I obeyed. Footsteps approached us from around the corner and passed us. When they disappeared into a door, he grabbed my arm. "Let's go!"

He walked quickly down a series of hallways. I had a hard time keeping up with him. He opened a few doors, sniffing the air before walking through them. And then we just walked out onto the street, ditching the brooms into an alley. It just seemed too easy.

He walked me to an old van and opened the door for me. He ran to the driver's side and got in. He immediately took off his shirt and I unbuttoned mine. My skin felt raw.

"No, not yet. You have to keep the shirt on for a little while longer," he said. "I'm sorry."

I sniffed the air and I could smell other linderi. I turned around and saw the back of the van was filled with the others from the zoo. Most of them were asleep. I looked for the young girl, but I couldn't see her.

"Where's the young girl?" I asked. "The one with the blond hair. The really young one."

"She'll have to be extracted by a different team," he said. "She doesn't know she's a linderi."

"But we can't just leave her there!" I exclaimed.

"Don't worry. She'll be okay, she's with some of the females who were in heat. Usually the humans jump ship when there's been a raid. They don't want to get caught in case the police are involved. The ones remaining will be fine until they're extracted in a few hours."

"What is this place?" I asked as I looked out the window at the bright lights and high rise buildings. There were large signs along the side of the road showing different body parts and advertising sex and girls.

"Las Vegas," he answered.

"Where are you taking us?"

"Has anyone ever told you about the Paisley Islands?"

"No."

"It's a group of islands off the coast of the Dominican Republic, inhabited by linderi."

"It's a breeding center."

"No," he said forcefully. "The breeding centers are just as bad as the zoos."

I was shocked.

"Linderi live freely on the Paisley Islands," he continued. "They live together as families, raising their own children."

"But the children die unless they're taken away from their parents."

"No, the children die when they're kept in captivity. They thrive on the islands. The parents raise their own children there, the way they're supposed to."

"But once the linderi have a child, they stop mating."

"Yes, they do stop mating, but only until the child turns four or five. There are linderi on the islands who have 5 or 6 children."

"But how can that be? That would mean they're 45 or 50 years old. Linderi don't live past 35."

"In captivity. But in the wild, linderi live to be 60 or 70 years old."

I sat silently as we drove through town, trying to make sense of what he was telling me. We left the city lights behind and were now traveling on a remote stretch of highway, but I didn't know where we were going. I couldn't believe that Halley wasn't telling me the truth. "Why do they keep us in the breeding centers?"

"Humans are basically selfish. It makes them feel good about themselves to know they're somehow saving our species by forcing us to breed. The reason the linderi were close to extinction was because humans were taking over the linderi's natural habitats and they were poisoning the environment. So it lessens their guilt by saving yet another endangered species. But the linderi live unnaturally at the breeding centers. They take advantage of our natural instincts, forcing the linderi to mate and have as many babies as they can. Linderi are inherently monogamous. They stay with the same partner for the rest of their lives."

"That's the only reason they keep us there?" It just seemed so misguided and so wrong. They were causing so much harm, and yet they thought they were doing the right thing.

"Humans are like a plague. They've caused the extinction of so many other species. And they won't admit that captive breeding doesn't work. Not for polar bears or killer whales and especially not for linderi."

I felt my babies moving and I knew they were hungry. I rubbed my belly.

"Wes, I have to feed my babies," I whispered.

He looked at me and then at my belly. "You're having twins?"

I nodded.

"Have they been fed today?"

I shook my head, dreading the taste of his semen.

He looked over his shoulder at the other linderi and pulled over to the side of the road, turning off the headlights. I looked behind me, and saw that the others were all sleeping. I looked out at the night, unusually bright from the full moon in the cloudless sky. I could hear crickets in the distance. He undid his pants, lowering them down to his knees. He reached underneath him and moved his seat back as far as it would go. I could see his erection glistening in the moonlight. I took off the uniform he had given me, glad to be relieved of the painful clothes. I climbed onto his lap, positioning my pussy above his penis. I slowly lowered myself onto his waiting cock. I ground my hips on his lap, milking his penis for his lifesaving semen. I could feel his hands holding my hips and I enjoyed his touch. After what I'd been through the past few weeks, it felt good to finally take pleasure in the touch of another linderi.

He tasted different from any linderi I had ever known. Although he wasn't my consummate partner, his penis didn't taste bitter to me. It didn't taste like Matthew's, but it was pleasant. I continued gyrating on his penis until I climaxed. After a few more thrusts, he shot his seed into me with a loud grunt. I lay my head on his shoulder, exhausted and satisfied. Then I slowly got up and returned to the passenger seat.

"Thank you," I said, still panting.

He pulled his pants up and adjusted his seat. One look over his shoulder and we were back on the road.

"You smell different," I told him. "You don't smell like any linderi I've known."

"I've always lived on the islands," he told me. "I was born there." He looked at me sideways. "You smell different too."

"Oh," I replied. I didn't know how to answer.

"The father is very special to you," he finally said.

Tears came to my eyes. "Yes," I whispered.

"Your devotion to him is stronger than any other linderi I've met outside of the islands."

I looked at him. "They told me that once our babies were born, I wouldn't be in love with him anymore. That I would be repulsed by the idea of making love to him. But I never believed them."

"You're meant to be with him forever."

"But, he's had a partner already. He's already fathered a child."

"Doesn't matter. We don't automatically fall in love with the first linderi we meet. We may feel a strong attraction, but believe me, he knows he loves you more than he loved his first partner. I can smell him all over you. He's in your hair, in your breath. He's in every cell. Only your true love can do that. The breeding centers make you believe that you're supposed to fuck a lot of different males and have their babies. And then when your milk dries up, they tell you that you're ready for your next partner. After your baby is taken away from you, there's a small window where you are physically ready to mate, but mentally you're not ready to start mating with your partner. That's when they introduce you to your new partner as if that's how it's supposed to be. But it's not."

I started crying. "You have to take me back to Matthew."

He looked at me, silently.

"Please," I begged. He reached over and squeezed my hand and I felt compassion through his touch. He genuinely cared about me.

I sat in silence as he drove in the darkness, tears flowing down my cheeks. I finally drifted off to sleep.

-------------------

Chapter 5

I woke up in a bed. I looked around, thinking I was back at the breeding center, but there were no mirrors on the far wall. Only windows with the drapes shut tight. I sat up. I was alone, and yet I felt safe. I got up to go to the bathroom. I looked terrible. I took a shower for the first time in weeks and I washed all the grime and dirt from me, but I was unable to wash away the memories. I stood under the warm water and cried.

When I got out of the shower, there were only towels to dry myself off. I pat my skin gently, but it still felt rough to my skin. One of my babies kicked and I rubbed my belly. I knew it was almost time for their birth.

When I walked out of the bathroom, Wes was there. He was fully clothed and he had breakfast for me.

"You need to eat. You've got a long journey ahead of you."

"Where are we?" I asked as I took a bite of a banana.

"We're at a hotel in Los Angeles. There's a private plane waiting to take the linderi to the islands."

I started crying. "I can't go," I whispered. "I need to return to Matthew."

He walked towards me and put his arms on my shoulder. "I know. We discussed your situation, and we agreed it would be best for you to go back to the breeding center. They have better medical facilities that will help you give birth to your twins. On the islands, twins usually don't--" he stopped short. I knew he was going to say they would die on the islands and I was thankful that he didn't say it.

"How far away is the breeding center?"

"Just a few hours away."

"When will we leave?"

"After your babies are fed."

He started unbuttoning his shirt. It was lined with a smooth shiny material. As he pulled his jeans down, I saw they were lined with the same material. I reached over and felt it with my fingers.

"It protects our skin from the clothing we have to wear to fit in. It's made of silk, one of the only materials that our skin will tolerate."

I got on the bed on all fours and I felt him come up behind me. I was surprisingly aroused by this man as I waited for him to enter me. When my pussy felt him, I welcomed his cock like a lover. I let a groan escape my lips. I closed my eyes and tried to pretend it was Matthew, but he tasted nothing like him. And yet, he was making me feel so good. I rocked back to meet his thrusts. When I came, I cried out in pleasure, but he hadn't achieved his climax yet. He continued pounding me faster and harder until I felt him tense up and then fill my pussy with his semen. As my pussy drank it up, it sent me crashing towards another orgasm. He stayed inside me for a few moments while he caught his breath, then he pulled out and I collapsed onto my side.

I lay there, quietly, breathing heavily as I felt his seed swimming inside me. I felt guilty for enjoying it.

He laid some clothes out for me on the bed. They were all lined with the same silky material.

After we were dressed, he led me to a black Mercedes. I got in on the passenger side. It felt strange to be wearing clothes but it didn't hurt. We pulled out of the parking lot and onto the highway heading south towards the breeding center.

"How did you know where to find us?"

"We have undercover agents working in every major city. We're trained to infiltrate and rescue the linderi that are held captive. We've been working for months on extracting the linderi from that zoo. But when we found they had abducted a pregnant female, we had to work quickly to get you out in time."

"Who are 'we'?"

"The LLF--Linderi Liberation Front. Most of us were born in the breeding centers so they know what it's like. They know how the security system works. There are a few humans who work with us too, scientists who used to work, or still work, at one of the breeding centers and can access the security codes."

"But how did I end up in Las Vegas? How were the kidnappers able to get me out of the breeding center in the first place? Who was behind it?"

"We don't know, but we think it was someone on the inside."

I sat quietly as we drove down the freeway. I knew I wouldn't be safe there. I would have to escape with Matthew and our babies.

"After the twins are born, I want you to come get us. I want to raise my babies with Matthew on the islands."

He looked at me. "I'm sorry. I'm not sure that will be possible."

"But I can't stay there," I cried. "They won't let me stay with Matthew. They'll take away my babies and they'll make me fuck someone else until I have another baby."

He pulled over onto the side of the road. "Listen to me, Trista. Once I take you back, we can't guarantee that we'll be able to get all of you out again. It'll be highly risky for us because after you were kidnapped, they've definitely tightened security and changed the codes. Right now, we don't have a human planted at that breeding center to help us infiltrate the system. It may take months or years and by that time, you'll probably be pregnant again with another child, someone else's child."
I covered my face with my hands. I would be returning to Matthew, but we wouldn't be able to stay together for long.

"If you return to the islands with us, your twins will probably die. And you might die."

I rubbed my belly and felt the babies moving.

"You have to make a decision right now. The plane leaves in a few hours. What do you want to do?"

I shook my head. "I don't know," I cried. "I don't know."

Wes looked at me. He rubbed the outside of his thumb, his brow furrowed. "Go back to the breeding center, and tell Matthew everything I've told you. In a month, we'll try to get you out again. But I have to warn you, if Matthew doesn't want to leave, you'll have to leave him behind. Meanwhile, we'll work on planting someone on the inside."

I nodded. Of course Matthew would want to leave.

"I can't promise we'll be successful. It might take longer than a month." He looked over his shoulder and got back on the freeway, weaving through traffic. He glanced at me. "But we'll try."

"What about my babies? What will happen to them?"

He was quiet. He kept his hands on the steering wheel, staring straight ahead at the other cars. "We may be able to find out where they are, and take them from their foster parents to the islands, but it's never been done before. They'll issue an amber alert and the LLF might say it's too risky. There will probably be a lot of media coverage because they're twins. I'm not sure it'll work."

I started crying.

"But I'll do whatever it takes to get them back to you. I can't promise anything, but I'll do whatever I can." He reached over and placed his hand reassuringly on mine.

"Thank you," I whispered and I squeezed his hand, but I didn't let it go. It was comforting to have something more than just a promise to hold on to.

We drove into a residential neighborhood and then east through the mountains. We stopped in the shade of a manzanita tree and sat there for a while.

"You'll have to walk the rest of the way. We don't want their security cameras to see the car that dropped you off. It's just a few hundred feet down this road. When you get to the gate, ring the bell and tell them your name. Someone will come to get you."

I got out of the car. "Thank you, Wes." My eyes filled with tears. "I'll see you again soon."

He nodded. "Be safe."

He sat in the car and watched me walk down the road. As I approached the gate, I looked back and he was still there. I rang the bell.

A voice crackled on the intercom. "Yes? How can we help you?"

"It's Trista," I said softly, my voice cracking. I cleared my throat.

"Who? I'm sorry, we don't accept solicitors."

"It's Trista," I said louder looking up towards the security camera. I heard some commotion in the background.

The gate buzzed open and I looked back at Wes one last time, but he was gone.

Halley ran up the walk and embraced me. "Trista! Oh Trista! Thank goodness you're safe!"

She put a hand on my belly. "And the babies?"

"They're still alive," I said as I collapsed to the ground. The last thing I remember seeing were feet, a lot of human feet running towards me as my head hit the concrete.

-------------------

Chapter 6

I woke up in the clinic. I couldn't focus on anything.

"Trista? We need you to help us now. Your babies are coming. Trista?"

I forced my eyes to look at the face hovering above me. "Where's Matthew?" I asked.

No one answered me. "We need you to push, okay? Go ahead and push."

I closed my eyes and my body just took over. I had to get this baby out. I pushed instinctively and felt my vagina stretch, but it didn't hurt. I wasn't in any kind of pain at all.

"The first one is a boy," I heard.

I craned my neck to see my baby. But they quickly took him away.

"Trista, you have to push again. Push, Trista."

I pushed again and felt the other baby come out.

"It's a girl," I heard.

I looked up at the faces. "My babies. I want to see my babies."

"Shhh... Trista. You have to rest now."

"No!" I screamed. "I want to see my babies!" I struggled on the table but they quickly restrained me.

"Trista, you have to calm down. Or you'll die too." I lay back and closed my eyes.

Too. I'll die too. My babies were dead. I started crying. I felt empty. I felt a prick in my arm and soon I felt nothing.

I woke up in a hospital bed, monitors connected to me. I tried to move, but I was still restrained. I turned my head and saw Matthew sitting in a chair beside me.

"Matthew," I whispered. Tears were rolling down my cheeks, collecting in a pool in my ears.

"Shhh, Trista," he wiped away my tears. "I thought I'd never see you again."

"I love you," I cried. "I love you so much."

"You need to rest now," he said. "I have to go."

"No!" I cried. I tried to sit up but I was tied down. "Don't go! Stay. Please."

But he walked out the door and disappeared.

I closed my eyes and cried. I knew. I could smell her. He was with someone else now.

"Trista?" I heard Halley's soft voice. I didn't want to open my eyes. I couldn't trust her. "Trista, we need to know what happened."

"I don't know," I said.

"Where were you? How did you come back?"

"I was taken to a zoo, in Las Vegas. There were other linderi there and they made us--" I couldn't say it, but I wanted to shock Halley. I wanted to let her know how despicable her supposedly superior species was. "Humans made us fuck each other and they raped me. Every day they raped me."

Halley just closed her eyes. "I'm so sorry. That's why we need to protect you from the outside world. There are some sick people out there."

"But you weren't able to protect me! I was taken away from the man that I love, and now it's too late," I cried. I sobbed uncontrollably. "My babies. My poor babies..."

"I'm so sorry Trista," Halley said and I was surprised to see her crying. "They were beautiful. So beautiful."

My heart shattered inside my chest.

"Who is she?" I asked.

"Who?"

"Matthew's new partner."

Halley sighed. "We didn't know if you were coming back. He was so upset. We tried introducing him to eight different females but he didn't want any of them. Finally, we had success with the ninth one."

"What's her name?"

"Kayla."

"Kayla," I repeated. "I want to get out of here," I said.

"You still need to rest. In a few days you'll be back in an observation room."

"Will you let them untie me?"

Halley paused. She studied my face. "Yes," she replied.

A nurse came and undid the restraints. I reached down and felt my flat empty belly. I started crying. I never even got to see them.

"Trista, you need to start masturbating again as soon as possible. Frequent orgasms will help dry up your milk and then we can introduce you to your new partner."

I clenched my jaw, but only nodded.

A few days later, I was in my own room. Milk flowed freely from my breasts and I ached to feed someone my milk. I lay in bed and cried. I hadn't seen Matthew since that first day, and I wanted to see him. To talk to him. I missed him so much.

I couldn't sleep. I wandered aimlessly through the hallways, avoiding the other linderi. I swam in the pool but didn't talk to anyone else. I avoided all eye contact. When another linderi walked by, I looked down at the ground and held my breath so I wouldn't have to sense their pity. I felt sorry for all of them. They were all brainwashed and pathetic. I watched them fuck each other, and I wanted to shake them and scream at them. Tell them the truth. I didn't masturbate at all. I didn't feel the urge anymore. My milk was almost dried up and I knew I would be fertile again soon.

I saw Matthew one day from a distance. He was with his new partner. They were holding hands and she was laughing. I quickly turned around and left. My milk flowed along with my tears as I ran back to my room.

A few weeks later, Halley told me it was time to meet my new partner.

"You and Matthew hit it off right away, but if you don't feel that initial attraction, then he's not the right one for you. So don't feel like you have to accept him because if you don't feel it, he doesn't feel it either."

She brought someone into my room. He was incredibly handsome. I took a big breath and smelled him. He had fathered three children already. He had just ejaculated that morning. We both stood there, smelling each other. I looked at Halley. She was watching us with hope in her eyes. He shook his head and I was grateful. At least I wouldn't be the one to have to reject him.

"I'll see you around Trista," he said as he walked out the door.

I was introduced to other males, but still, nothing. I felt nothing for any of them. I lost count how many males shook their heads and walked out of my room.

I had started masturbating again, but my heart wasn't in it. I used the machines in the spa, and even though I enjoyed my orgasms, it just didn't compare to the orgasms Matthew had given me. My milk had fully dried up by now. When I had my first heat cycle after giving birth, I cried the whole time.

I knew I would have to talk to Matthew, and try to get him to come with me to the islands. Wes had said if he didn't want to come with me, then I would have to leave him behind. I didn't want to leave him, but he seemed happy with her. Perhaps he wasn't in love with me as much as I was in love with him. Perhaps I was just so attached because he had been my first.

But I wanted to give him the option. I waited for him by the pool. I slipped him a note as I walked by, making sure Kayla's eyes were closed.

"Please come see me. We have to talk."

I wasn't sure he'd come, but at least I had tried.

That night, Halley came to see me.

"Trista, I'm worried about you."

"I'm sure I'll find someone."

"Trista, if you don't find someone soon, you'll lose your ability to reproduce." That sounded fine to me. If I couldn't have Matthew, then I would rather be alone.

"Well, I can't force it right? If I don't feel it, then I don't feel it."

"But perhaps you're holding back? Getting kidnapped and losing your babies, you weren't able to complete the entire cycle. You need to force yourself to move on. Or you'll die."

"What do you mean?"

"When linderi lose their ability to reproduce, they die. That's why linderi were headed towards extinction."

I thought about it. Right now, dying seemed like a pretty good option. I didn't want to be with anyone else. I couldn't force myself to fuck someone, simply to live. I had already experienced it and knew how dirty it felt, how bitter the other males tasted.

"Please Trista, will you try? We don't want to lose you."

I knew what she really meant. She didn't want to lose my womb. My genes. My precious linderi eggs. But I just nodded.

She smiled. "Thank you. We'll bring some more males by later today. Some males have just arrived from a breeding center in Australia."

Australia? "Is Keaton one of them?" I asked

"Keaton?" a strange look crossed her face. "Your brother Keaton?"

I felt my heart drop onto the floor. "My brother?"

Halley realized her mistake immediately, but it was too late. "I'm sorry Trista." She sat on my bed. "You should know the whole truth." She motioned for me to sit down next to her, but I didn't want to be anywhere near her. I hated her. I shook my head and backed away from her.

"You and Keaton were twins. Your mother died giving birth to you. We have limited experience dealing with twins, so thought it would be safe for you to grow up together. We didn't think linderi could mate until they were both fully sexually mature. We think you started your heat cycles early because you and Keaton consummated before you were ready. I'm so sorry."

I burst into tears. I felt disgusting and cheap. "Please, get out." I said.

She slowly got up and walked to the door. "I'll bring the males by tomorrow, once you feel better." I collapsed on the bed and sobbed. I hated my life. I wanted to die. I didn't want to see any other males. This was unnatural and so wrong. I belonged with Matthew.

After a few hours, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. "I would like to talk to Halley, please," I said to the unseen humans on the other side. A few minutes later, Halley entered the room.

"I want to see Matthew," I said.

She hesitated. "I'm not sure that's the right thing to do."

"Please," I pleaded. "I think it will help me. I need some closure."

She stood there, watching me, thinking it over. "Okay," she agreed. "But I would like to be here with you when you see him."

"No. I'll meet him in a public place then. By the pool. You can watch us on the security cameras. We'll be surrounded by the others."

She agreed.

An hour later, I was sitting in a lounge chair when I smelled Matthew approaching. My heart skipped a beat.

He sat down on the edge of the seat, as far from me as possible. I looked at him and took a deep breath. I could smell her all over him and I felt like throwing up.

"How are you Trista?" he asked.

"Not good," I replied. "The babies..." I couldn't even say it.

"I know," he said softly. "I saw them. I held them."

I looked up at him, tears brimming over.

"They were beautiful," he said, his voice cracking. "The trauma, everything that happened. They were both stillborn. They looked like they were just sleeping."

I closed my eyes, imagining him holding the babies. I couldn't help thinking of the happy ending that should've been mine, both of us holding our babies together. I felt a sharp pain in my chest as I realized what had been taken away from me. From us. "If I don't find another partner, Halley says I'm going to die."

"I know," he said. "Please, try. Just try harder. He doesn't have to be perfect. If there's just something in him that you find appealing in even just a small way, just take him. Accept him."

I stared at him. "Is that what you did?"

He was silent. He didn't have to say anything. I knew the truth.

"How much do you know about what happened to me when I was gone?"

"Not much, but I can only imagine." I saw his jaw tighten.

"They made me do things. And I had to because the babies would've died."

"Please," he stopped me. "I don't want you to have to relive it. Just don't say it."

"I was rescued by this male who smelled different. He told me about these islands. Do you know about them?"

He shook his head.

"Linderi live freely on the islands. They live in families, they raise their own children. They live to be 70 years old. Everything they've taught us here is a lie. Linderi mate for life. They're using our natural instincts to force us to fuck each other. Then they take our babies away. It doesn't have to be like this. We can live together, have more babies together. I love you Matthew. I want to live with you forever. I don't want to mate with someone else. We belong together."

He shook his head. "I'm sorry," he said. "I can't leave Kayla." He got up and walked away.

I sat there and watched him leave. I couldn't even cry. I sat there for a few more hours, numb, and then slowly walked back to my room. I passed a linderi female who smelled different, and yet familiar. She had that same distinct scent as Wes. She was from the islands. I turned to look at her. She looked at me, knowingly.

"Four days," she said and turned the corner.

In four days I would be taken away from Matthew and I would never see him again. I walked into my room and got into the shower. I turned my back on the mirror and cried, trying to muffle my tears from the watching eyes of the humans on the other side.

The next day I decided I couldn't stay in my room anymore, knowing they were all watching me, taking notes, observing every little movement I made. I went to the pool with a book. But I just stared at it, not reading. I knew none of the other linderi would bother me with their mundane chatter if they thought I was engrossed in my book. I read the same word over and over again, not understanding what it meant.

Halley had tried introducing me to the new males from Australia, but I just couldn't feel anything. It was mutual. They didn't feel anything for me either. If the extraction failed, then I didn't know what would happen to me. I would die here. Alone.

"Trista?" I looked up to see Halley standing above me. "You need to come with me."

I got up and slowly followed her. My heart was beating. Did she know? Would I be punished? Or banished from the regular linderi population to live out my days in isolation?

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"I'm taking you to the clinic. We need to run some tests to find out why you're rejecting all the males."

"But it's mutual, Halley. They don't like me either."

"Linderi are highly sensitive to each other's level of attraction, both positive and negative. It's not just your pheromones. If you don't want another breeding partner, then your potential mate can pick up on that, and then they don't feel it either. But we think you're doing it on purpose."

"On purpose? You think I want to die? That I'm on some kind of suicide mission?"

Halley stopped to look at me. "No, I don't think you're consciously doing it on purpose. But a part of you is resisting the other males for some reason, and we need to find out why."

I could tell her exactly why, but I kept my mouth shut. She led me into the clinic where they took some blood and then she took me to another office and introduced me to the human doctor sitting on the other side of a large mahogany desk. He was older and had a kind face. He sort of reminded me of my foster father.

"Trista, this is Dr. Sherman. He's a psychologist and I think he can help you."

I spent the next hour with him as he asked me questions. I told him about what I had to go through in Las Vegas, how disgusting it was when I had to have sex with all those men. How I tried so hard to save my babies, but in the end, I didn't even get to hold them. And then to come home and find out that Matthew was in love with someone else. I sat in his office and cried. But I didn't tell him about Wes. I didn't tell him about the Paisley Islands. I didn't tell him what I really thought of the breeding centers and the brainwashed linderi who lived there.

"Well, Trista, how do you feel? Do you feel better having talked about it?"

I nodded my head.

"I think we should meet once a week, until you're feeling 100% better."

I forced a smile and thanked him. Halley returned to lead me back to my room. "We think you're depressed Trista. Your hormone levels are exactly where they should be, so you are physically ready. If you don't accept another mate by tomorrow, I think we'll have to send you to a rehabilitation center for more counseling. We think your experiences affected you more than we thought."

"Depressed? But I thought depression was a human quality."

"That's what we thought too, but I have to admit Trista. You're stumping all of us. You went through your heat cycles early, you got pregnant with twins. Your foster parents reported that you were smarter than any of the other linderi they raised. I think maybe you're too smart for your own good," she grinned. "You need to let your instincts take over and stop thinking so much about what you want, or what you think is right."

"Can you give me just a few more days?" I asked. "I'll try, I really will."

She nodded. "If we don't see an improvement and if you don't accept a new partner, we're going to have to send you to rehab. The sooner the better."

I nodded and thanked her for caring so much. But I knew she didn't give a shit.

-------------------

Chapter 7

Halley entered my room and said she had another male for me to meet. He had just arrived from the Florida center and she emphasized that this might be my last chance. I knew I would have to accept him and just tolerate him for a few more days. After I left, he'd just get paired up with another female right away. It wouldn't be that hard for him to adjust. It was just one more male I would have to fuck. If it meant my freedom, I could do it.
She left my room and entered with another male. This one smelled familiar to me. I looked up and it was Wes. My heart did a somersault.

"Hi," I smiled at him.

He came and embraced me and I held him. "My name is Wes," he said. I was so happy to see him, that I started crying as I held him. I didn't want to let him go. I felt protected again. I was safe.

I heard the door close. Halley was obviously pleased. He leaned down to kiss me, and for the first time since Matthew, I felt myself get aroused at the touch of another linderi. "I'm sorry," he whispered in my ear as he kissed my neck. "They're watching us. I have to make it believable."

I wasn't just pretending, and I knew he could feel my attraction to him. We didn't have to say a word, we could smell each other's arousal. He led me to the bed and we lay down. He kissed me again. "I'm so happy to see you," I said. "What are you doing here?"

"We were able to plant a human on the inside and he let us know what was happening. We knew we were running out of time and we had to act before they moved you." He traced his hands along my flat belly, sending shivers through my body. My nipples hardened at his touch. "I'm sorry about your babies," he whispered.

I turned my head away from him. "I didn't even get to see them." I paused as I pictured what they might have looked like. Their tiny fingers and toes. Their tiny little mouths that would have suckled at my breasts. "Thank you for everything you did to try to help them," I whispered as my tears rolled down my face.

He caressed my shoulders, and my hair. "I'm so sorry," he said. I loved his touch. I felt such empathy flowing from him, it really felt nice to be touched again.

I turned to face him. "It's been so hard since I've been back," I told him. "Matthew is with someone else now."

"I know. Our informant told us everything," he whispered so the humans wouldn't hear.

"He doesn't want to leave her," I said.

"He can't help it. He thought you'd died. He feels an instinctive obligation to her now."

I buried my face into his chest and sobbed as he ran his hands over my back. I finally fell asleep in his protective arms, feeling safe for the first time since I'd been back.

I woke up and realized I was in heat. I had slept for almost the whole day and it was now the middle of the night. It was the longest I'd slept since I'd been back. Wes was still sleeping. His mouth was open a little bit and I watched him for a few seconds. He was beautiful. Not only did he smell different, there was something special about the way he looked. But I couldn't quite put my finger on it. He looked more peaceful somehow. I didn't want to wake him up, but my body wanted him. I shook him. "Wes?"

He opened his eyes and sat up. "What's wrong?" His eyes were panicked. And then he sniffed the air.

"I'm in heat," I said.

"I'm sorry," he said as he held his breath.

I just smiled at him. "We'll just have to put on a good show," I purred as I got on top of him. I kissed him, enjoying his taste. I moved above him, letting my breasts hover over his face. I slowly lowered my nipple into his waiting mouth and reveled in his touch as he nibbled and sucked. He pressed both of my breasts together and took both nipples into his mouth at once. I moaned loudly. "Fuck, that feels so good," I sighed. I couldn't handle it anymore. I needed him to fuck me.

I reached my hand down and felt that he was already hard. I stroked his penis as he moaned, his mouth vibrating on my nipples. I pulled away and held his cock, guiding it into me. He tasted unbelievably luscious, I didn't remember him tasting this good. After just a few thrusts, my orgasm was inevitable. I tried holding it off, trying desperately to make it last but I couldn't hold back any longer. Just as the dam broke, I felt his semen flooding my pussy, and we both cried out.

Making love to Wes was wonderful. As we fucked, I let my instincts take over. I didn't think of anything except how good and right it felt. We were good together. If we had met under different circumstances, I'm sure I would have chosen him anyway.

At the end of the day as we lay in each other's arms, I closed my eyes, feeling content for the first time since I'd been abducted. "I think I'm falling in love with you," I said.

He traced his fingers down my shoulder. "You're just in heat. If you had the choice between me or Matthew, we both know you'd pick him."

I was silent. He was right. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Don't be, " he said quietly.

I let my hands roam freely over his belly. "You said linderi mate for life. What happens if one of them dies?"

"Well, the other one goes through a mourning process, a sort of cleansing. Once they complete the grieving cycle, they can fall in love again."

"What's going to happen to me? Do I have to wait until Matthew dies?"

"I don't know. I think you'll have to go through a grieving process of your own," he said.

"They said I would die unless I accepted another breeding partner."

Wes shook his head and laughed. "Is that what they told you? That's just a way to get you to pick someone else. I'm sure Matthew picked this other girl because he felt like he had to."

"What about you?" I asked. "Have you ever fallen in love?"

He paused and stared up at the ceiling. "I'm on the move too much," he finally said. "I'm constantly traveling around the world."

I nodded. "Tell me about your life on the islands, before all of this. Tell me about your family."

He lay back and put his arms behind his head. "Well, I have two sisters and one brother. I'm the youngest."

"What were you like as a little boy?"

"I was a troublemaker," he said and smiled at me.

"How old are you?"

"I just turned nineteen."

"But you're so young! How long have you been doing this?"

"Well, one day when I was sixteen, a girl arrived on the island. She reminded me of one of my sisters. She was so badly abused that it took years for her to believe she wasn't human. After that, I decided that I had to do something, so I joined the LLF and started training the next year."

"So, how does it all work? How do linderi on the islands find partners if they're not set up? Do they date each other? Do they just fuck each other all day long until they find the right one?"

He laughed. "No. Once you find your partner, you just know they're the one. And it's mutual. If you feel it, then they feel it too. Not like humans who are so self-serving and just so cruel to each other. Humans think love and lust are the same thing. They'll fuck each other without feeling any kind of real affection, and someone almost always gets hurt. Humans will murder for love and sex."

"But what about someone like you? Does it bother you that you have to have sex with someone who's not your partner? You're probably trained to put up with it, aren't you?"

He took a deep breath in and glanced at me. "Yeah, I've learned to turn my feelings off."

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I knew it was easier for me because I was in heat.

"Don't say that." He stroked my hair.

He leaned down and kissed me. Gently at first. He pulled away from me with a look of remorse in his eyes. Before he could apologize, I pulled him closer and kissed him again. I pulled him on top of me and reached down and grabbed his growing cock. I stroked it while we kissed, more urgently now. I guided his cock towards my awaiting lips and moaned when he finally entered my wet pussy. Making love to Wes felt perfect, like we were meant to be together. It was incredible.

We continued making love into the night. I was no longer in heat, but we still made love.

"I feel like I'm cheating on Matthew."

"Don't feel guilty Trista. You're in heat."

I nodded. But we both knew I hadn't been in heat for hours. I knew my feelings for Wes went deeper. And I knew he could sense it too. We weren't just putting on a show. The feelings we had for each other were genuine and we both knew it. But we didn't talk about it.

As we fell asleep, I noticed how perfectly we fit together as he held me. I never thought I'd feel this way again about anyone else. I grabbed his hand and held it tight, not wanting to let go.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

The next day, we went to the pool, in search of Shea, the female informant. We lay together in a lounge chair waiting. "Does she know where to meet us?"

Wes nodded.

"How does she get away with going around without a partner? Don't they suspect anything?"

"She just had a baby. She was planted as a female who just gave birth and they're waiting for her to get fertile again."

"Why isn't she at home with her baby?"

Wes hesitated. "She lost her baby too."

I smelled her before I saw her, and she sat down on the corner of our chair. I watched her closely but she didn't seem sad. "Everything is in place," she said. "Extraction will take place tomorrow night."

"You've got the codes?"

She nodded and stood up and walked away.

"She doesn't seem sad about losing the baby," I said to Wes as I watched her walk away.

"No," Wes said as he looked towards her. "She's good at hiding things. You have to be, in order to do what we do."

"What's going to happen once I arrive on the island?" I asked Wes.

"You'll be quarantined for a few weeks. You'll have to relearn everything you thought you knew about yourself. It'll be like the breeding centers, except you won't have to perform for the perverted humans behind the mirror."

"Will I live alone?"

He nodded. "Unless Matthew changes his mind."

I looked at Wes, but he was looking off into the distance.

I knew he was asking me to talk to Matthew just one more time. If he didn't want to leave Kayla, then I would know that I had at least tried and I would be able to move on without any loose strings. I would be free to untangle the hold that Matthew had on my heart.

Wes went back to the room and I told him I was going to try to talk to Matthew. He nodded, but didn't stop me. Part of me wanted him to stop me, but we both knew I had to try. "Just don't give him any details," he said.

I found Matthew in the library. "We need to talk," I whispered. "Somewhere private."

He nodded and followed me outside to the garden.

"Where's Kayla?" I asked him.

"She's in heat," he answered. I raised my eyebrows at him. "She's napping right now," he explained.

I nodded. When I was in heat, he never left my side, even when I was sleeping. We sat on a bench underneath a willow tree.

"I can smell him on you," he said. "Do you love him?"

"Do you love Kayla?" He looked away and we sat in silence.

"Well, I'm glad you found someone, at least you're not going to d--"

"I'm leaving soon." I interrupted.

"When?"

"I don't know. But I want you to come with me."

"What about your partner?"

"This isn't about him, or about Kayla. This is about us, and how we feel about each other."

He refused to look at me.

"I still love you, Matthew. Even though I'm with someone else now, I still love you. And I know you still love me. How can that be? Don't you think it's possible they lied to us? That it's not natural for us to keep switching partners all the time? We're meant to be with each other forever, raising our babies as partners for life."

"You're wrong," he said, looking down at the ground. "I love Kayla."

"But you still love me," I insisted.

"I can't leave Kayla," he said.

"If you don't love me anymore, I need to hear you say it. Please."

He was silent. He took a deep breath. "I don't love you anymore," he said softly. But he still wouldn't look at me. He slowly got up and walked away. I didn't want to believe him. I wanted to believe that he would come running back. Once he realized how wrong he was, he'd come back to me. But the longer I waited, the more I knew he wasn't coming. I'd lost him.

Numb, I returned to the room and Wes was waiting for me. I walked up to him and collapsed in his arms. He stroked my hair as I wept.

"He's not going to leave her," I finally managed to say.

"I'm sorry," he said as he held me close.

"He doesn't love me, he says he loves her."

"He's already completed the grieving cycle. He feels like he can't leave her now."

"Is it too late then? Do I have to give him up forever?"

"I don't know," he said as he held me tighter. "But you need to go through the grieving process too. Otherwise, you'll make yourself sick."

"Make love to me," I begged.

"No," he said. "I'm sorry. You'll regret it later."

He held me while I cried. Slowly the tears stopped and I lay there silently in Wes's arms, grateful for his presence.

Halley came to see us that night while we were eating dinner. "How is everything going? I'm just checking on you."

We looked at each other. "Great," we said together.

She paused and we just looked at her. "Well, let me know if you need anything." She hesitated before she left, as if she wanted to say something, but she just smiled and closed the door behind her.

"Do you think she suspects anything?" I whispered. "We haven't made love today." Even though I wasn't in heat, I found that I really wanted him. Was that a part of the grieving cycle? Or did I just want to forget Matthew, even if for just a moment? My nipples hardened when I thought about fucking Wes again.

"I don't know, but in a few days, it won't matter."

I was disappointed. I was hoping he would say we needed to make love again just in case they were suspicious. But I knew we would have one more day together--just one more day in heat--before we could stop pretending forever.

The next day, I woke up earlier than usual. Wes woke up and we looked at each other. "I'm in heat," I said.

"I know. But we should take it easy if you can. You might be tired tonight. How do you think you'll feel?"

"I think I'll be fine," I said. "But I really need you fuck me right now."

Wes kissed me and I welcomed him in to me. I would never get tired of making love to him. I never imagined that it could get any better, but each time was better than the last. As we moved together, we were in sync to each other and it was truly magical. Towards the end of the day, I was exhausted. Wes drew a bath for me. As I lay in the hot bubbly water, he got in the tub facing me.

"They'll think it's weird if I don't get in too," he said quietly.

"No, this is nice." I smiled at him. He picked up one of my feet and started rubbing it.

"Tell me about your family, about your parents," I said.

"Well, my dad is a doctor, and my mom is a nurse."

"I didn't realize linderi could have jobs."

"You'll be surprised how normal life can be outside of the breeding centers. There's a whole different world you don't know about."

"Do your brother and sisters have partners? Do they have children?"

"All of them."

"What happens if I go into heat on the island? What are the houses like? Are they secure?"

"Linderi on the islands have more self control than the captive ones. When a female is in heat, we're not overcome by her scent, unless you're her partner."

"Why do you suppose that is?"

"The breeding centers give you supplements that enhance your libido." Well that certainly explained a lot.

"I'm nervous. What if something goes wrong tonight?"

"If we fail, we'll just have to stay here for a few more months until they can get us out. Extracting someone from a breeding center is hard, but it's not dangerous. Rescuing linderi from humans is easy but dangerous."

"If they catch us, will they separate us? Will they try to hurt us?"

"No, they may put us in isolation, but we'll be together. They won't want to lose the opportunity for us to produce a child."

I nodded, but I was still nervous. I knew Wes was good. He had gotten me out of the zoo, but the security systems at the breeding centers were more sophisticated.

"You'll be fine. Very rarely does a linderi get hurt, but if there's a casualty, it's usually the extraction team.

"Have you ever gotten hurt?"

"Once, but it wasn't bad."

I thought about Wes getting hurt trying to rescue me. I felt selfish for putting him and the rest of the extraction team in danger. As Wes rubbed my foot, I realized I owed him so much. He had already rescued me once, and he had also rescued me from a broken heart.

"Thank you," I said.

"For what?"

"For caring about me, for rescuing me. For helping me."

He smiled at me and I could sense that he really did care about me. It felt nice to know that I would always have a friend in Wes. After the bath, he lay next to me and told me to get some rest. Shea would come get us after she'd disabled the cameras and the security gates.

I slowly drifted off to sleep, happy to be leaving, but also sad that this would be my last night sleeping in Wes's arms.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

I awoke to a commotion in the room.

"Kidnap us? But why?" I heard Wes yelling.

I heard Halley's voice in the room and I sat up quickly.

"I don't know. But we think it might be the same people who took Trista the first time. We'll have to move you to a more secure wing tonight."

Wes held my hand as we followed Halley. Silently, red lights flashed in the hallways. I knew the extraction had failed. It might be months before we could attempt it again.

In the elevator, he held me close. "The microphones are more sensitive in our new room so be careful what you say," he whispered.

"Don't worry Trista. You'll be safe," Halley said, assuming that Wes was comforting me with his embrace. I gave her a weak smile.

We were led into a smaller room that had security cameras in the four corners of the room, as well as the observation window that covered an entire wall.

"Try to get some sleep," Halley said. "Don't worry. We won't let anything happen to you."

We got in bed and lay together. I was dying to ask some questions, but I knew it wasn't the time. Was Shea okay? What had happened? My heart was beating rapidly and I knew Wes could sense my fear.

"Trista," he whispered. "Everything is going to be fine."

I turned to face him. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Now you're trapped here for a few more months," I said. Wes gave me a warning look. "In isolation, I mean. You're trapped here because I'm the one in danger. And now you have to stay in isolation too."

"There's nowhere I'd rather be," he said. And I knew he wasn't lying. I leaned towards him and kissed him. He tried to pull away but I put my hand on the back of his head and brought him closer to me and kissed him again.

"Please," I whispered. "I want you."

He kissed me and then pulled away. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"More than anything."

He kissed my neck and then took one of my nipples into his mouth. He twirled his tongue around it, gently. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the taste of his mouth on my breasts. He continued kissing me as he moved down my body, raining kisses on my belly, my hip, then my thigh. I bent my knees, opening up to his kisses. When he reached my pussy, I thought I was going to die. I ran my fingers through his hair as he continued kissing and sucking my wet slit. He twirled his tongue around my clitoris and I came, clutching his head to me.

I pulled him up and kissed him again. And that's when I knew. I loved him. I could taste his love for me and knew I was embedded into his cells. I spread my legs wide and when he entered me, I climaxed instantly. I held onto him tight as he thrust into me and when he fed me his semen, I felt our love come together as one.

"You love me," I said, breathless.

"Yes," he answered and kissed me.

I smiled at him. "I think I've loved you since we met."

He shook his head. "You couldn't have loved me then," he said and he pulled me closer into his arms. "You were just sensing how much I loved you, because I've loved you since we met."
I settled into his arms. "Well then, I'm happy we can't leave this room." I said and I kissed him and we fell into a deep, satisfied slumber.

The next day, Halley came to see us. "Trista, we have everything under control. We've got double security watching over you now."

"What happened?"

"Someone tried to access the security system using the old codes and it set off the entire alarm."

"Do you know who?" Wes asked.

"It was someone from the inside. The cameras were disabled so we don't know who, but it was definitely someone who has knowledge of how we work."

"Are you sure they wanted Trista?" Wes asked.

"We think so, but we can't be sure. We're working on finding out. Meanwhile, I'm afraid you'll have to stay here for awhile. You won't be able to access the rest of the grounds for awhile, but whatever you need will be brought here."

She closed the door behind her. We just sat there staring at each other. While we were in isolation, Wes would be cut off from communicating with any of the LLF. We were prisoners here and I felt guilty.

"I'm sorry," I said as we showered together, talking softly so the noise of the water would drown out our words.

"It's not your fault," he said as he held me.

"But I can't help thinking about the others you could be saving. The ones who really need you. But instead you came here, and now you're stuck in this stupid room. And I'm actually happy that you're stuck here. Isn't that terrible of me?"

"Trista, I wanted to come. I asked to come. They didn't want to let me at first, because they could smell you all over me, they thought I was too close, too attached to you. But when our informant told us that you only had a few days left before they shipped you out, they finally agreed to let me come."

"But why are they doing all this to save me? What about the other linderi who work as prostitutes or all the sex slaves? I've got it pretty good here compared to all of them."

"But you know all the lies. If we waited too long, it would be too late to save you." He held me tight. "I couldn't just leave you here to just slowly waste away. Trista, I just couldn't do it."

I kissed him. "I love you so much," I whispered.

We spent a lot of time in the shower because it was the only time we could really talk. I was worried they would get suspicious. But I loved taking showers with Wes. I had so many questions for him.

"Remember our first time?" I asked. "What if I'd never asked you to feed my babies? We probably never would've fallen in love."

He kissed me. "Well, when you first asked me to, I was going to say no. But I really wanted to. I was surprised how much I wanted to. If one of the other males had been awake, I probably would've asked him to do it."

"I'm glad you did it because I hated the way the other males tasted. They were so bitter, but you tasted wonderful." I put my arms around him. "And I felt so guilty for liking it so much. Could you tell how much I enjoyed it?"

"You were actually just feeling how much I was enjoying it. You could sense how much I was attracted to you, that's how strong it was. There was just something about you, I can't explain it. And then when you got on top of me in the van, I knew that I'd already fallen for you."

"But what would've happened to you if Matthew decided to come with us?"

"Like I said, you have to be good at hiding things in order to do what we do."

I put my arms around him. I felt a surge of love as I thought about the sacrifice he was willing to make for me. I didn't deserve him. "I love you. I love being with you. Every time, I love it even more. I love you even more."

I would have been perfectly happy staying in isolation with Wes, but after only a few days, I knew Wes needed to try to make contact with the LLF.

"Halley, I need to get out of here," I told her. "Can we just take a walk or something? Security can follow us around."

She reluctantly agreed. "Just for an hour."

Security escorted us out to the grounds. I sniffed the air, and I was surprised at how much I'd missed the smell of the others. Wes held my hand as we walked, the security guard keeping a good pace behind us, looking bored. He was dressed in a black suit with an earpiece and was wearing dark sunglasses. He looked way overdressed and like he was taking his job way too seriously.

"Can you smell Shea?"

He nodded. "She's almost fertile. They're going to want to pair her up with another male soon."

"We don't have a lot of time, do we?"

He shook his head.

As we were walking, I saw Matthew from a distance. Kayla was visibly pregnant. Tears automatically stung my eyes when I saw them.

Wes squeezed my hand, sensing my pain.

"I'm sorry, Wes. I don't know why it bothers me."

"He's still in your heart. He'll always be in your heart. Don't feel guilty about it. Don't feel guilty about anything that has happened at the hands of these fucked up humans and their breeding centers. It's their fault you're in this position. Don't blame yourself." He held me tight. "I'm so sorry for everything you've had to go through. I'm so sorry." He brushed his lips against my hair.

"I can't wait to get out of here," I told him. "I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

"We may have to implement Emergency Plan B."

"I'm too scared to ask."

"Do you know how to ride a horse?"

"No," I said.

"You're going to have to learn."

Wes arranged it with Halley for us to ride together on our daily excursions outside. We circled the ring while the security guard watched from the railing. It allowed us the freedom to talk openly without being heard.

Eventually, Wes was allowed to go outside when I napped on the days I was in heat. It gave him hours to plan and coordinate our escape. We were running out of time for Shea, and unfortunately, the human who had been planted by the extraction team was no longer there. Wes wasn't sure what had happened to him. But he was able to set up a remote signal that would alert the LLF of Plan B and he assured me they would be waiting for us on the outside. I didn't know how it could work, but I trusted him. I didn't want Shea to be forced to endure a male who wasn't her life partner. She had started her heat cycles and Halley was already introducing her to different males.

"It's set. We leave the day after tomorrow, you won't be in heat then, and neither will Shea."

I was nervous. If this failed, they would know it was an escape plan, and not an abduction like they thought. I wasn't sure what would happen if we got caught.

The next day, I woke up expecting to be in heat, but I felt different. This time, I knew exactly what it was. I was pregnant.

I watched Wes sleeping and I lay next to him, completely and utterly in love with him. Tears came to my eyes. We were going to have a baby. I was overjoyed, but at the same time, my heart was breaking. I thought about my twins and I almost felt guilty about being happy again, almost like I was betraying them. And I was scared. We would have to keep it from the humans who were watching us. They would be expecting me to be in heat. If my cycles changed, they would know I was pregnant and they would be even more protective of me.

I sat up and shook Wes awake, which is what I always did on the days I was in heat.

He opened his eyes and looked at me. He took in a deep breath and his eyes got wide. A smile spread across his face. I nodded. He sat up and embraced me.

We held each other for a few more minutes, our faces buried into each other's necks to hide the happy tears. "You have to make love to me," I whispered, glancing towards the mirror. He understood.

Making love to Wes, knowing that our tiny child was growing inside me, was heartbreakingly beautiful. He was being gentle, but I assured him he wouldn't hurt me or the baby.

All day long, we made love, constantly on the verge of tears. Our senses were so heightened that we felt like we were one, permanently fused together by the product of our love, our baby.

Later in the day when we were taking a shower together, he finally broke down, crying openly. "I love you so much, Trista," he cried as he held on to me. More than once did he allow his hands to linger on my belly and I had to nudge them higher or lower. We didn't want to raise any suspicions.

"Can you still ride?" he asked. I nodded. I didn't want anything to delay our escape, for Shea's sake. And in a few days it would get harder to hide my pregnancy from the humans. And once they found out, security would tighten even more and it would be harder to make our escape.

The next day, when we got to the stable, Shea was already riding her horse around in circles. We got our horses saddled up and we circled around a few times with Shea, but we ignored her as if we didn't know her.

Off in the distance, I saw Halley and some other humans walking towards us. It didn't look good.

"Wes," I called. He followed my gaze and saw them approaching. "They know something."

Wes looked at Shea and for a few seconds they just stared at each other, then Wes nodded once. Shea's horse took off, gracefully leaping over the fence and at the same moment Wes jumped off his horse and in one leap he mounted mine. Immediately, our horse jumped the railing and we were flying towards the mountains, galloping after Shea. I didn't dare look behind me to see if they were following us.

Wes held on to me tight and I felt safe as we galloped through the rough desert terrain. Wes followed Shea's horse as if they knew where they were going. From the distance, I heard a helicopter. I looked above me and saw it approaching us from over the next range. We would never be able to outrun a helicopter. It was too late. We were going to get caught.

I saw Shea's horse up ahead, but she wasn't on it anymore. No! I thought. What happened to her? Wes pulled on the reins and our horse reared up before stopping. In one fluid motion, Wes put his strong arm around me and jumped off the horse. I landed softly on the ground, barely jostled by the movement. He grabbed my hand and we ran towards the shade of the nearest mountain. I could hear the helicopter, but I couldn't see it as it circled back. Wes held onto my hand tight as he led me in a dead run right towards the side of the mountain.

"Wes!" I cried, but he kept running and then I saw it. There was a small crevice among the rocks that looked too small for us to fit, but as we got closer, I saw that it was larger than I thought. Just as I heard the rotors of the helicopter approaching, Wes shoved me inside. I stood there in total darkness for a few moments, trying to catch my breath. I turned around and Wes wasn't with me.

"Wes?" I called. "Wes? Wes!"

"Shhh..." someone said. Hands reached out and grabbed me and I stumbled forward. My eyes adjusted to the darkness and I saw Shea standing in front of me.

I started crying. "Wes is out there," I said.

She nodded. "You're pregnant," she said.

I started crying. She held a cup to my lips, but I shook my head. "Please Trista. For the baby." I reluctantly took a sip of the water.

"We need to go," she said, strapping a flashlight around her head. She handed me a light and told me to put it on.

"But what about Wes?"

"He's going to meet us at the rendezvous point," she said.

I wanted to believe her, but I didn't think how it could be possible. They were going to capture him and-- and what? What would they do to him? How sadistic were these humans who ran the breeding centers? Would I see him again? I had to see him again.

As we walked down a series of tunnels, I could barely see through my tears and I tripped a lot, slowing our progress.

"Please, Trista. Be strong. For Wes. If you want to see him again, we have to move."

She stopped suddenly and sniffed the air. "What?" I asked. "What is it? Is it Wes?"

I took a deep breath. I could smell humans behind us. They were following us.

"Hurry," she said and we both ran through the tunnels. Shea knew the layout of the caves, which were getting narrower and tighter the further we went inside the mountain. We lost the scent of the humans who were pursuing us. After an hour, the tunnel started getting wider. I could see light up ahead.

We started running faster. I knew Wes would be waiting for me in the light. As we reached the mouth of the tunnel, I could hear helicopters overhead. They were looking for us. But what did that mean? Had they captured Wes? Shea held me back and we sat down on the ground. I was anxious to see Wes, to hold him again. There was a box near the entrance and she rummaged through it, pulling out rations and water. There were some silk clothes and she told me to put them on and wait. After another hour, we heard the helicopter retreat as the sun set outside. I heard a vehicle approach and stop. My heart was beating out of my chest.

Shea told me to stay while she went to investigate. "Trista, come on! Hurry!" I ran towards her and saw a van as I emerged into the dusky light. The back doors flew open and Shea grabbed my hand and pushed me inside before jumping in behind me.

There were two linderi males and a human inside the van. I looked around for Wes, but I didn't see him anywhere.

"Where's Wes?" I asked.

The linderi looked at Shea, and then looked at me but didn't say anything.

"He's okay, right?"

I could sense the tension in their bodies. Something wasn't right. "Please," I begged. "Just tell me." I cried.

"You're pregnant," one of them finally said.

I nodded and put a hand on my belly, trying to protect it, remembering how Wes had placed his hand right there just that morning.

"We're going to meet Wes at the rendezvous point, right?"

Shea looked at me and took my hand. I could see tears in her eyes and I knew something was wrong, really wrong. I didn't want them to say it anymore. I didn't want to hear it, but they spoke the words anyway.

"He's dead, Trista."

My heart stopped beating. I was sure it would never beat again.

-------------------

Chapter 8

Wes died while trying to save me, and our baby. When he saw that the helicopter had crested the peak, he pushed me into the crevice and jumped back on the horse trying to lead them away from me. But the horse panicked as the helicopter approached and threw him. He fell and hit his head on a rock. He was killed instantly. The outlook posted on the far mountain had seen him fall, and had signaled for a rescue, but later he saw the humans cover him with a sheet.

I was taken to the islands and our baby grew strong and healthy within me. Wes would have loved every moment, especially when the baby started kicking. I met Wes's parents and his brother and sisters and they all welcomed me into their family. His parents insisted that I live with them in their house, which was strange for me. I sat in Wes's boyhood room and lay on his bed. I could smell him everywhere and it broke my heart.

Everyday I fed our baby semen that Wes had stored in a cryogenic bank at the hospital, just enough to last the whole pregnancy. I don't know why he did that. It was almost as if he knew I would need it one day. As I tasted his seed, I cried, remembering how he had fed my twins outside of Las Vegas. I was scared to give birth. I was scared I would see our baby and I wouldn't be able to handle it, I would be too overcome with memories of him.

I went into labor in the middle of the day, and just thirty minutes later, I gave birth to a son. Our son. I named him Wesley and he was beautiful. As I nursed him, my tears flowed, silently dropping on our baby. Wes would've loved our son. He would have been a wonderful father.

As the days passed, it got easier. I loved being a mother, and Wesley brought me such joy. I no longer cried everyday, even when I smelled something that reminded me of Wes. Our son helped me get through the grieving process and I was surprised to realize that there were more good days than bad. The LLF would take care of me for life, making sure all our needs were met, including food and clothing. It helped to know that I could count on them, and I could count on Wes's family to help me through this.

I nursed my son for almost two years, and when he weaned himself, I knew my heat cycles would be starting soon. If Wes had been here, his presence would have influenced my hormones to delay my heat cycles for four or five years. But since I was alone, Wesley and I moved into our own house before they could start again. My heat cycles would be more mild than they had been at the breeding center, but I didn't want to be surrounded my Wes's scent while I went through it. That would have been too painful.

I loved being a mother and I loved living on the islands, which was more civilized than the breeding centers. Linderi were peaceful and they lived simply. They only used what they needed and shared what they didn't. I was surprised to see that linderi on the islands weren't nude all the time. They wore clothing made from natural organic cotton and silk made by special worms found only on the islands. I learned that clothing itself didn't hurt our skin, but it was the dyes and the way humans produced cloth in giant factories with dust particles and allergens floating around in the stagnant air.

The buildings were constructed using natural materials and they didn't accumulate stuff like humans did. Other than their simple houses, linderi didn't really feel like they owned anything. And even then, they would open up their homes to strangers who needed a place to stay. Crime was nonexistent among the linderi. There was a lot for me to learn, and I wished that Wes could be here to teach me and guide me. And to share our life together as we raised our son.

When Wesley started school, I spent my days helping Wes's father at the hospital where he worked, just for something to do. I mostly sat in the rooms of the older linderi and listened to their love stories. I told some of them my story and they all held my hand and told me I was young, I would fall in love again. But I didn't see how that would be possible.

I would also meet with new arrivals from the breeding centers and the rehab centers. I enjoyed talking with them. Some of their lives had been so brutal and it reminded me how lucky I truly was. I even saw the young girl from Las Vegas. Her name was Ashley and it had taken her years to detox in a rehab center. Her life had been particularly dreadful and I thought of the young girl who had compelled Wes to join the LLF in the first place. I tried to meet all of the new arrivals because they actually helped me come to terms with Wes's loss. It somehow lessened the pain to see their scared faces and to remind myself how far I had come. And as I held their hands and talked to them, I could slowly feel their fear melt away. I was sure Wes would have been proud of me. I couldn't go and continue his work out in the field, but I could help the newly freed linderi once they had arrived on the island.

But one day, I arrived at the quarantine center and stopped in my tracks as soon as I walked into the building. I stood there frozen for a few moments, unable to move. I took a deep breath. It was Matthew. He was here. I panicked and quickly ran out of the building before I could find out if Kayla was there too. I wouldn't be able to handle seeing them. I was halfway home before I realized they had been separated years ago, but I still didn't go back. I wasn't ready to face him again, especially if he had arrived with someone else.

Later that day, Wes's father came to visit me. Wesley ran to his grandfather and he picked him up and twirled him around. Everytime I saw him do that, it brought tears to my eyes as I imagined Wes picking up his son the same way.

"You look just like your daddy," he told him. He gave him a kiss on his cheek. "And you smell like him too." He smiled at me as Wesley ran outside to play.
"Trista, there's someone I would like you to visit tomorrow."

"Who is it?" I asked.

"He's one of the new arrivals. You already know him. His name is Matthew."

I stiffened. "I don't know if I can."

"Trista, as much as I love Wes, I know you can't live the rest of your life alone. It's not healthy for you."

I started to cry. "I can't."

"Trista, I'm so happy that you met my son and you fell in love with him. Every time I'm near you, I can smell him in you, and in Wesley, and it breaks my heart."

I put my face in my hands and wept. He sat down beside me and put his arm around me. "But, I could always smell someone else and I assumed it was someone you were with before you met my son, someone you had lost. When I met Matthew for the first time, I knew right away. Because your scent is embedded into his breath, his tears."

I looked up at him.

"Trista, I don't know how many breeding partners he's had, but your scent is the only one he still carries. Please, will you go see him? You need to complete your grieving cycle and move on."

I sat there silently. "I'm sorry," I told him. "I can't. I'm not ready."

He nodded. "I understand." He got up and gave me a sympathetic hug before leaving. "He'll be released from quarantine in a week," he said before closing the door.

I held it together until Wesley was in bed. Then I broke down and cried. I felt like I would be betraying Wes if I went to see Matthew. I couldn't do it to him. He had given his life for me. For our son. I watched Wesley sleeping. His lips parted a little, the way Wes's lips had parted when he slept.

I remembered how selfless he had been when I was grieving for Matthew. He had already fallen in love with me, and yet he had encouraged me to try and convince Matthew to come to the islands with me. How could I betray that?

I avoided going to the quarantine center. I just couldn't risk seeing Matthew yet. I mostly stayed at the hospital, visiting the older linderi. They could all sense my heartache and they all asked me what was wrong, but I just shook my head. I couldn't talk about it yet. Part of me knew that Wes would want me to find someone to love again. He wouldn't want me to be alone. But I still fought against it. I wasn't ready.

I walked through the hospital corridor making my rounds. And then I sensed him. Matthew was near. I closed my eyes and just inhaled. The smell was getting stronger, but I couldn't move. I just stood there, overwhelmed by it.

"Trista," I heard his silky voice call my name and my heart swelled.

I opened my eyes. "Matthew," I whispered.

He came up to me and we embraced. Like lovers who had been separated for a long time. Like we had always loved each other. And I didn't want to let him go.