(Three things before I start this twisted tale. First, I started this over on my Patreon page and I wanted to thank my awesome patrons for supporting my stories. Second, I want to give credit to the one and only Incase for the cover art which I swiped from his comic Spicing Things Up. Finally, if the cover art isn't warning enough, take note of the category this is in. I don't want any of you readers to be surprised along the way. If occasional gay stuff freaks you out give this one a pass.)

Your name is Ted. You consider yourself an average sort of guy. You like beer, porn, football, fishing on the occasional weekend. You know, average guy sort of stuff. You're in Solid Waste Management or, one might also so say, you're a Garbageman. Not a glamorous job but it pays the bills and it's not too stressful.

You've never been what one would call a ladies man. You weren't blessed with natural good looks. You were six foot tall and thickly built, a little too thick around the midsection nowadays. You had short black hair, a short thick beard and mustache with just a hint of grey starting to set in, and a bit too much body hair all over. Your face was wide and fleshy, your eyes a common shade of brown, and your hands were large with strong bulky fingers. You weren't ugly, but you didn't turn any heads either. You didn't shirk from the opposite sex but neither did you have a easy charisma with them either.

Relationships were difficult to establish and even more difficult to keep going. You didn't want a family, you weren't ambitious or driven, you loved doing your own thing, you didn't want to deal with someone else's family shit. Hey, you had to admit it, you weren't exactly a prize catch for a woman and you were okay with that. You'd have the occasional brief fling once or twice a year, then it would break up for one reason or another and you'd be single again for a while.

You were happy enough in your way to just keep living like this forever.

That all changed a few weeks ago when you met a lady that totally blew your mind. First thing first, this woman was out of your league. WAY the fuck out of your league. But yet when you started talking, something just clicked.

***

You were in your usual haunt, an Irish pub called Patty's Penny Whistle, unwinding after a long day's work. You were supposed to be there with some coworkers but they had all jammed out on you. The place was quiet, being a Monday night, and you were shooting pool by yourself.

You notice her the moment she walked in, as does everyone else in the bar. Long flowing light brown hair framed a narrow beautiful face with a slender pointed nose and high cheek bones. She looked to be in her early forties at most. Her skirt, blouse, and blazer business attire highlighted smooth flowing round curves. She had wide hips, a nice big round ass, and impressive bust. Her shapely calves showed off the fact she stayed in shape. She was a knockout! Way nicer and up class than what usually walked through that door.

She orders a drink at the bar, gin and tonic you were able to make out, then comes over and takes a seat near you. She puts her large purse on the chair opposite her and slumps down on her seat with a heavy thump. Taking a sip of her drink she closes her eyes and reaches in behind her neck and begins to rub it. She was obviously tired and stressed.

You knew the feeling well. Tired, worn out, after a hard day's work. Looked like it was more than that too. You were guessing her life had hit her with a few body shots recently as well. She looked so out of place here, likely she just desperately needed a drink and this was the first place she had come across.

You continue walking around the table, looking over things and taking shots. You kept an eye on this gorgeous woman. Her eyes remained closed as she rubbed her sore neck.

Finally you say something. “Rough day?” You ask as you take your next shot, the clatter of balls punctuating your question. You were trying to look casual and cool, and for once you think you'd managed it.

She glances over at you and nods. “Yeah. It was a fucking bear.”

You smiled, you liked a woman that swore. You hum sympathetically. The fact she didn't blow you off immediately gave you some hope. “Shoot a game?”

She gives you a long tired look, you were sure she was about to politely tell you to fuck off. There was something about the way she was looking at you, she was taking you in and measuring you up. After a long moment a smile finally comes across her deep red lips. You could now see she had deep and dark blue eyes, her perfect white teeth glowing through her dark lips. She stands up and peels off her blazer, her magnificent body revealed a bit more through her light white blouse. You could just make out her bra through the sheer fabric.

“Sure, what the hell.” She said. “My name's Claire.”

You put on your most charming smile and respond. “I'm Ted.”

***

And so it began. You and Claire hit it off immediately. You could tell you were something of a novelty for her. Someone completely different than the men she usually spent time with. You had the feeling you were just the right guy at just the right time. Lucky you! And there was an instant physical chemistry as well. You were comfortable around one another. You would stand close as the other took their shot, she would playfully push at your shoulder if you told a risque joke, by the end there was even little touching of hands and you were even able to help rub out the tension in her sore slender neck. She hummed happily at your relieving touch.

By the time you were leaving you knew you had something here. It was obvious. She'd probably dump you in short order due to how different the pair of you were, but at least for a bit you could tell the interest was two way. You agreed to meet each other the next day...and then the next...and then on the weekend.

She didn't seem to care about the fact you weren't wealthy, weren't sophisticated or educated, didn't have a flash car, and that you worked as a garbage truck driver. If anything these things seemed to interest her more than they turned her off. You learn that she is a lawyer for a fast growing new law firm in the city. She was driven and ambitious and you knew she spent way to much time at work. She had two adult children, twins, who were currently taking a break year between high school and university. She adored her children you could tell and she would often bemoan not being there for them more often as they grew up. She never spoke of their father. You never asked but you got the sense she'd been single, except for brief periods, for quite some time. It was often hard for her to make time for you in her busy life, but she always did.

For the first time in your life you could picture being with this woman long term. You wanted to be with her. She just felt...right. There was a natural and easy connection between you. You couldn't believe your luck as you were pretty sure the feeling was mutual. How had such a woman remained single all this time? Just no time between work and family you supposed.

Thus far, physically, you'd only made it to intense making out and heavy petting. Always at your place. Both of you wanted more but she was holding back. Something was reigning her in and it was driving you crazy.

Things finally reach a turning point one evening as you share a quiet dinner in a very high end restaurant. You had on your very best clothes and still felt under dressed. Claire didn't seem to care. For her part she was absolutely drop dead gorgeous in a deep red one piece skirt that highlighted her body in all the right ways.

She sits quiet a time, slowly moving her tumbler of gin and tonic in small circles on the table, staring at the slice of lemon suspended within. You could tell something was on her mind. You wait. She finally speaks up. “Listen Ted, I like you. I like you a lot...”

You reach across and take her by the hand with a smile. Your big meaty mitt eclipsing her soft slender hand. “I like you too Claire.”

She seems coy, evasive. “Yeah, I know. But... Before this goes any further I...I need you to meet my kids. Jeremy and Poppy. They are the world to me and...listen I'm sorry, but if they don't like you I need to nip this off in the bud. I don't want my heart broken, or yours. Before I get...before we go further they need to meet you and give me their okay. It's not fair to you I realize but, it is what it is. I can't be with someone they don't approve of.” She looks up at you with her deep blue eyes. “Do you understand?”

You nod. It was a little strange given the fact that her kids were adults, but you could understand where she was coming from and you could respect it. The fact she told you about this meant she was thinking of taking your relationship further. “I understand.” You say reassuringly as you squeeze her hand in yours. “Really, I do.”

She still looks uneasy. “Okay, just...if they don't come to accept you...don't take it personally okay? They're picky, they only want the best for their Mom.”

Now you were starting to get concerned, is this why she was still single? You don't show your trepidation and simply say. “Sure Claire. I understand. I'm sure we'll get along just fine.”

She says quietly. “I hope so. I really do.”

This was obviously an issue that had been a problem for her in the past. You resolve to do your very best to befriend these kids of hers. Your relationship with the woman of your dreams was on the line!

She nods. “Okay, come by the house tomorrow evening. I'll make sure I'm home on time. Come meet the kids.” You could sense a growing excitement in her as she began to get her hopes up.

You nod enthusiastically. “Okay! I'll be there.” This was the first time she'd actually invited you into her home and you couldn't wait.

***

You were nervous the next day. You knew you had to make a good impression on Claire's kids. You kept kicking yourself for not asking more questions about them. Their interests, their background, anything. All you really knew is that they were fraternal twins and they were nineteen years old. That's it. God, you knew nothing about today's youth. What music did they like? What shows did they watch? Did they even watch shows anymore? Your uneasiness grows through the day, so much was riding on this meeting tonight.

After work you zip home, shower and get ready. You look your very best, as best as you could manage anyways. As you pull up to her old brownstone row house you see lights on inside. As you search around for a parking spot you see Claire just getting out of her car, running late as usual. She spots you and smiles. She waits on the sidewalk by the steps leading up to her front door to wait for you.

You eventually manage to find a spot and hustle your way to meet her. You slip easily into each other's arms and kiss. Mmm, she tasted good, smelled good, despite just getting off work.

She gives your shoulder a squeeze and gives you an encouraging look. “Well, here it goes. I'm sure everything will work out.” You could sense more than a little doubt in her voice however. “Hey, thanks again for understanding."

You follow her up the stairs, watching her fine wide ass sways in front of you. She unlocks the door and the pair of you make your way in. Her door opens straight into a spacious living room. There are stairs off to the right side of the room and a door across from you probably leading to the kitchen. You chuckle to yourself as you realize it had the same configuration as the Huxtable house from tv all those years ago. The fact she was a lawyer making it all the more amusing. The decor was impeccable. Thinking about your humble little apartment you are reminded once more how out of reach this woman really ought to be for you.

Claire calls out. “I'm home! We've got company!”

There is a muffled squeal of delight as two smoking hot little teenage hotties come prancing out from the kitchen and skip lightly across the room. Obviously Poppy and a friend of hers. Both were lean, bright sky blue eyes, flawless young features, smooth pale skin, and bright lustrous blonde hair. Both had on denim roll up shorts and tight fitting tank tops which showed off the skin of their narrow shoulders and lithe necks. The one on the right was shorter, curvier. Her blonde locks were long, down to her middle back. She had small tight perky breasts and her lips were a bubblegum pink, she was chewing on gum as well. The other was taller, just as lean but not nearly as curvy. In fact she was very flat chested. Her hair hung down to just above her shoulders. You don't get a better look as they are moving fast and in a flash they are upon you.

They both cry out in unison as they rush forward. “Daddy!”

Daddy!? What the fuck?

They rush up and press into you on either side, sliding their hands in under your open jacket to hug you around the torso. You hold your arms up afraid to touch them. Their faces are just inches from yours gazing up and taking in every little detail of your visage, their hands running across your shoulders and neck and back and chest. The smell of the bubblegum in the one's mouth filled your nostrils with the aroma of fresh cherries.

“Oh wow! New Daddy is SO different from the others!” Says the shorter one.

“He's like a big cuddly teddy bear!” Says the other as she squeezes your belly through your shirt. “I call dibs!”

“Shut up!” Says the first.

They both start pulling you back and forth between them, like they were two kids fighting over a new toy.

Claire just smiles and laughs, easy as can be. “Poppy, Jeremy, settle down now. I know you're excited but don't scare the poor man off. Not again.”

It takes you several seconds to put what she had just said together. This was Poppy and...Jeremy!?

You didn't mean to, you really didn't mean to, but you gawked. You just stared at the one called Jeremy in disbelief, mouth hung open like a slack jawed neanderthal. This was a nineteen year old man? You'd seen androgynous men in your time, but nothing like this. He was...well...he was simply stunning! You had to look long and hard to finally start to see any hint of masculinity to his smooth dainty face. Not a hint of stubble, no Adams apple, no heavier bone structure, nothing. It was there but it was so incredibly subtle.

Seeming to mistake your surprised look and close inspection for signs of attraction he tilts his chin down demurely and bites the side of his plump bottom lip suggestively. A rosy blush colors his cheeks but his sparkling sky blue eyes met yours confidently, a thousand promises in that naughty gaze.

He lets out a little giggle. “He he he. Oh, I think I might like this Daddy.”

You look over to Poppy only to see much the same expression combined with transparent jealousy and competitiveness. A thirsty look to her clear sparkling blue eyes. She presses her firm breasts more forcefully into your side, as if trying to call attention to them. Her blue eyes, a perfect match with her brother's, flash with mischief.

“He he he. You're so different Daddy Ted. I think you're gonna be fun!”

You stood absolutely flummoxed, unsure of what to do or say. Looking over to Claire you were still not quite coming to grips with this unexpected greeting. You see she is smiling widely, she didn't seem to think anything was amiss here. She was just so very happy to see how much Jeremy and Poppy seemed to like you. A spark of hope in her deep blue eyes.

“These are my shining lights, my pride and joy. This is Jeremy and Poppy.” She announces. Then addressing her kids she says. “And this is the Ted I've told you so much about. If you like him maybe...” She pauses. “...maybe he'll stay and be your new Daddy.”

They titter and squeeze into your sides some more. You felt like you'd just walked into an alternate dimension, this was all so twisted and surreal.

She chides you with a laugh, urging you to make a good first impression. “Well, don't be shy. Say hello Ted.”

You look to each of their pretty faces in turn before finally saying. “Uhhh...hi kids.”

They each lean up and in and each kiss a cheek. In stereo they say in similar sing song voices. “Hi Daddy.”