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The Adventures of Mega-Girl Ch. 01

Author's Note: The events in this chapter take place after 'How to Date a Superhero' and will make much more sense if you have read that 12-part story first. I decided to re-brand this saga because I realized the title no longer fits the direction I want to go. 'How to Date a Superhero' was probably a bad choice to begin with, as it doesn't encompass the heart of this saga – which is really more akin to a comic book.

Now on to the story; I hope you continue to enjoy the adventures of Mega-Girl.


=======

"Hi, I'm Mega-Girl. When I've got a hot date with the mighty Apollo, or I need to fight a dangerous villain like the Leviathan..." the beautiful blonde picked up a canned soft drink, snapped it open, and then held it up while displaying a toothy smile, "I make sure to fill up with 'World's Finest', the only 100% all-natural, organic energy drink on the market -"

"CUT!" the director yelled, interrupting and waving one of his arms wildly.

Stage lights suddenly switched off and a suffocating flood of people abruptly enclosed around Mega-Girl. One person started brushing at her cheek make-up, another fussed with Mega-Girl's wavy blonde hair, while yet another grabbed the opened soft drink can out of her hand and replaced it with a new, unopened can.

Mega-Girl ignored them all, standing in front of a large green-screen in a studio buzzing with people and mounted cameras. She wore her costume, a red one-piece affair trimmed with blue and black that clung tightly to her petite torso and arms, but bared her shapely tanned legs down to ankle-high boots.

"What is it now?" she wondered with an irritated tone.

"You look like you're posing for a family reunion photo and reading lines off a script," the director complained loudly.

Mega-Girl pointed at a bearded man holding immense white cue cards next to a camera, "I am reading my lines off a script!"

"I need you to read them more naturally," the director gestured meaninglessly with wild hands, "Don't be so wooden."

"Wooden?" Mega-Girl sighed and looked with pleading eyes towards a man standing off to the side, as though she were desperately in need of a rescue.

Her rescuer was Josh Harington, a 28-year-old manager. He was an attractive man with the youthful good looks of a magazine model. His athletically slender frame was dressed in a dark sports jacket over a white shirt, crisp jeans, and black dress shoes. Josh had short black hair sloped messily towards the back of his head and long sideburns.

Pocketing his cell phone Josh confidently stepped into the chaos to help his client. "Can we get a five minute break?" he held all five fingers of one hand in the air towards the director, "Just give us a few."

"Everybody take five," the director announced with a frustrated growl, yanking some headphones off and tossing them towards an assistant.

Josh waited until the hair and make-up people moved away, leaving him relatively alone with Mega-Girl in the busy filming studio, "What's up, MG? You look pretty stressed."

"I'm a superhero," Mega-Girl stuck her tongue out briefly to show her distaste, "Not an actor. Do I really have to do this? Can't I go fight a legion of assassin robots instead?"

Josh grinned charmingly, "Fighting robots will get you on the six o'clock news but it doesn't pay very well. Don't forget - you've got a new house with a mega-sized mortgage."

"I know," Mega-Girl whined cutely, "But can you at least get them to cut that line about dating Apollo? You know I don't like talking about my private life in public."

"Your private life is public, MG. The mask is off, remember?" Josh squeezed her shoulder comfortingly, "Besides, people can't get enough – you and Apollo are front-page tabloid fodder on a weekly basis. You're hotter than any Hollywood couple by a wide margin."

Mega-Girl let out a frustrated sound.

"Hey," Josh squeezed her shoulder again, "Loosen up for me, beautiful. Let's get this next take perfect so we can get out of here and get some lunch. What do you say?"

Mega-Girl nodded and rolled her shoulders, "Okay, yeah. I can do this, right?"

"That's right," Josh smiled, "You're Mega-Girl. You came back from the dead, for crying out loud. This commercial is easy compared to that. Look... forget about that pinhead director, ignore all the lights and people, and just pretend you're talking to me."

Mega-Girl took a deep breath and rolled her shoulders, Josh's words giving her confidence.

"You're ready," Josh leaned in and gave his client a quick, plutonic peck on her cheek, "Knock 'em dead, baby."

======= Meanwhile... =======

"Holy shit," Travis murmured as he walked into a massive foyer, the entrance to Penny and Jordan's new house. Three of his dorm rooms would fit into the entry alone. Straight ahead he could see portions of a kitchen and connecting dining room. To the right of the foyer was a massive living space full of couches and a wall-mounted flat screen television, while to the left a hallway led towards even more rooms. The foyer was flanked on each side by two rounding stairways which presumably took one to the bedrooms upstairs. "This place is huge," Travis uttered in amazement.

Jordan grinned, "I know, right? I almost feel guilty about it, but Penny insisted I come live with her. She's not even charging me rent."

The two roommates had moved in only days prior and it was Travis' first visit to their new home. Three months had passed since Mega-Girl and Jordan had returned from the dead and it was the middle of summer. They had previously been staying with Apollo in his downtown condominium, but when Mega-Girl came into some money she decided to buy her own place. It was located in Romita Pines, a glitzy northwestern suburb and home to Gateway City's upper class. Things had changed rapidly for the two girls since their return from Hades and Jordan seemed eager to make Travis a part of it.

"Come on," Jordan grabbed Travis' hand and excitedly tugged him down a hallway, "Wait until you see my computer lab."

Jordan was wearing a tank top with a pair of denim short-shorts over her golden tan legs, her red-dyed hair flopping behind her in a lazy ponytail. Travis was also dressed for the heat in a pair of tan cargo shorts, a tee shirt, and sandals.

"Holy shit," Travis muttered again as they entered the renovated bedroom. A bank of computer network towers consumed the far wall, while a long table housed a half dozen monitors and three different keyboards. A desk opposite the table contained a laptop, webcam, and microphone.

"Penny bought all this for my twentieth birthday," Jordan gestured, "I seriously almost shit my pants."

Travis grinned, "Jeez, all I got you was a crappy necklace."

"Hush," Jordan pulled the emerald pendant from beneath the hem of her top, "I love this necklace; it sets off my hair."

"This is a really great place," Travis took Jordan's hips and pulled her close, "I just hate how far away from campus it is."

"Me too," Jordan agreed, wrapping her arms around his waist. "But since Penny's identity went public she's needed a refuge. There's no way she could live in the dorms or even in our old apartment; her fans and the press get too crazy, you know? This place has a massive yard and a gated fence. It's perfect."

"How can she afford all this?" Travis wondered.

"Endorsement deals," Jordan replied, "Josh is like a total financial wizard."

"That's her new manager?"

Jordan nodded, "Yeah. Did you know that he got her seven figures from Nike? Just so they can make athletic clothes based on her uniform design. They're even supplying her with an unlimited amount of costumes, made out of some kind of futuristic tear-resistant spandex."

Travis asked, "Does she have to wear a Nike logo?"

"Just a tiny swoosh on her hip," Jordan displayed the size by pinching her thumb and finger together, "But listen... we need to talk."

Travis' brows rose nervously at the spontaneity of that statement, "Uh-oh..."

"It's nothing like that," Jordan assured him, "Here, sit down."

There were two swiveling chairs and both of them sat; Jordan wheeled her chair to face Travis, close enough that she could place her hands on his knees. She took a deep breath, "You're going to hate this, but... neither Penny nor I are going back to school in the fall."

"What?" Travis immediately sounded upset, "Why?"

"I'm a better programmer than any of my professors," Jordan justified, "I could already walk through any door in Silicon Valley and get a job. What do I need a degree for? It's a waste of time and money."

"Is that what you're going to do?" Travis grew more alarmed, "Move to California?"

Jordan shook her head, "No, of course not. I'm going to work from right here."

Travis looked around, "Doing what?"

"You know how I support Penny, right? Whenever she's out fighting bad guys we're in constant communication. I monitor police bands, news reports, and get whatever information she needs."

Travis nodded, "Yeah, I know. 'Codename: Harbinger' and all that."

"Right.... well, that's what I want to do. Except not just for Mega-Girl, I'm going to start supporting other heroes too. It's like a service, with a monthly fee."

"A monthly fee?" Travis didn't understand.

"It was Josh's idea," Jordan pushed a stray strand of hair off her forehead, "He said there's no one else out there doing what I do, except for Cypher but he supports the World League exclusively. Josh had the idea that I could start a business and help out all the independent superheroes out there. I've already got some clients lined up."

"Who?" Travis wondered, "I mean, how do you find clients when they all wear masks and you don't even know who they are?"

"Penny runs into other superheroes all the time. She's been giving them my cards." Jordan leaned towards her desk where a little plastic tray held some business cards. She gave one to Travis, "See?"

Travis stared at the card incredulously, "Harbinger Incorporated," he read aloud.

"I've already signed up the Phazer, Dynamo Man, and Velocity."

"When did you come up with this?" Travis absently handed the card back, "How come you didn't tell me?"

Jordan winced a little, "I didn't tell you right away because I knew you'd get upset."

"Of course I'm upset. I feel like you're leaving me behind, Jordan."

"I'm not," she shook her head, "You're still my boyfriend; I don't want that to change."

"Am I? I still live in my shitty dorm room that's about the size of your closet, while you're out here in Romita Pines living in a mansion and playing hacker for the stars." Travis stood, "You're not coming back to school and it takes forty-five minutes just to drive here; even longer if it's rush hour. I'll barely ever see you."

"What are you saying?" Jordan frowned.

"I'm saying I want to be closer to my girlfriend!" Travis spread his arms wide.

"I don't want to go back to school, Travis. They can't teach me anything I don't already know or can't figure out for myself. Penny doesn't want to go back either; she'd get mobbed by students looking for autographs and selfies every time she tried going to class."

"I don't care about Penny," Travis gestured at the house around them, "She seems to be doing just fine. I care about us. You'll be on call 24/7 with this stupid business of yours and we'll never -"

"It's not stupid!" Jordan stood to face him, "I'm sorry you don't like that my life is moving forward, but if all you care about is having a girlfriend who's convenient for you, maybe you're right – this isn't going to work!"

Travis made a stunned blink, "I didn't say that..."

"You didn't say what?" Jordan glared at him, "That my business is stupid, or that you want a girlfriend who only lives a block away so you don't have to waste gas just to see her?"

Travis stammered, "I-I-"

"You know, you pulled this same shit with Penny! As soon as she didn't fit your exact ideal of what you wanted in a girlfriend you broke up with her."

"I'm not breaking up with you!" Travis complained.

"You're right," Jordan angrily yanked the necklace off her neck and threw it at him, "I'm breaking up with you before you get the chance!"

======= Elsewhere... =======

After shaking a bottle of mayonnaise thoroughly, Josh squeezed a big glop of it out into his basket of French fries beside an equally-sized pile of ketchup. He then took a fry and swirled it between the two, blending the mayo and ketchup into one orange-colored mass for dipping.

"Oh my god," Mega-Girl watched him with a hint of amusement, "That's so disgusting."

"Are you kidding? This is how it's done in Canada," Josh explained, "They sell it in bottles up there."

"What do they call it?"

"May-up."

Mega-Girl laughed. "You're not Canadian," she pointed out, "You're from Indiana."

"It's a delicacy there, too," Josh informed her,

Mega-Girl grinned, "You're such a liar."

The two were seated on a picnic table outside the studio lot where Mega-Girl's commercial was filming. They each had a basket of food from an outdoor umbrella vendor that worked the studio parking lot selling burgers and fries. The afternoon sun was warm and Josh's sport coat was draped over the bench at his side. He had rolled his shirt sleeves halfway up his wrists and tucked a napkin at his collar.

Mega-Girl felt daring and reached across the table, stealing one of Josh's fries even though she had her own. Dipping it in the mixture of ketchup and mayo, she tried it out. "Okay," she admitted, "That is actually kind of good."

"See?" Josh smiled, "You need to listen to your manager more often."

"Whatever," Mega-Girl chewed, "I've done everything you've told me to do for the last two months."

"And...?" he prodded her.

"And..." she was forced to concede, "I've been very pleased with the results."

"Good," he nodded and took a bite from his burger, "Because you're my favorite client."

"I thought I was your only client?"

"You are, but don't let that detract from the honor you feel at being my favorite."

Mega-Girl laughed, "You're so full of shit."

Josh produced his cell phone from a pocket and glanced at an incoming message, "You did great today. I know you hate doing commercials, but we couldn't turn down six figures for a morning's worth of work."

"I didn't mind it as much as I let on," Mega-Girl played with her burger's bun, "Plus, I actually do drink World's Finest so I don't feel like a complete sell-out."

"You can't ever think like that," Josh's tone grew more serious than their previous playful banter, "You save people's lives and put your own at risk. How many times have you saved this city from some giant robot or super-powered criminal? You deserve to profit from your own brand and popularity. People love you, MG, and they want to buy Nike yoga pants designed from your costume. Little girls want to be Mega-Girl for Halloween. Why should some corporation receive all the income from those sales? They're making money off you, and you deserve a portion."

"When you put it like that..." she sucked some soda through a straw, "By the way, how come you never call me by my name?"

"What do you mean?"

"You always call me 'MG' or 'Mega-Girl'. Sometimes you call me 'beautiful'..." she smiled, indicating she didn't mind, "But never 'Penelope', or 'Penny'."

Josh wiped his mouth with a paper napkin, "Is that what you want me to call you?"

"Not necessarily," she shook her head, "I'm just curious."

"Well, which one are you?" Josh asked bluntly.

Mega-Girl furrowed her brow and didn't understand.

"Your secret identity is gone," Josh elaborated, "There's no need to be two different people anymore. I met you after that happened, so I only know you as you are now. I never met 'Penny'. Was she different? The same? Are you some mixture of the two?"

"I was forced to be different to protect my identity," Mega-Girl answered easily, "I acted completely different, I looked different – I even had this high-tech ring from Dr. Prizm to change my appearance."

"So answer my question," Josh looked at her with a straightforward expression, "Which one are you now that the cat is out of the bag? Mega-Girl or Penelope?"

Pushing her hair behind an ear she answered softly, "I'm Mega-Girl. I've always felt more like myself when I have the costume on."

"So that's what I'll keep calling you."

Mega-Girl smiled warmly at that.

Josh humorously suggested, "We could change your name legally, if you wanted."

Mega-Girl laughed, "Oh god, my mother would kill me."

======= At that moment, in a dark office... =======

Doctor Death stood motionless, hands clasped behind his back, gazing out of a large window that over-looked the entire downtown core of Gateway City. The view was provided by a spacious room within Charlton Tower, the second tallest building in the city and home to many corporate offices. Doctor Death was wearing his armor, a bulky set of metal plate that seamlessly covered his entire frame including the head. A hooded cloak, black as night, depended from his shoulders; the hood mostly obscured the facial openings in his steel helmet.

When he spoke his voice sounded muffled by the mask, "My analysis has revealed no obvious weaknesses."

"I killed her with a fucking bow and arrow," Roman Killian sneered, sitting in a leather chair behind a heavy mahogany desk, "Don't tell me she doesn't have any weaknesses, Death."

Killian was wearing his own mask, a red thing with black eyelets that covered the entirety of his head. His mask seemed to be an arbitrary thing, since Doctor Death had seen him many times both with and without it.

"Except that you quite obviously didn't kill her." Doctor Death turned at the waist to stare at Killian through the emotionless eye-slits of his armor, which he always wore.

"She was dead!" Killian slammed his fist on the desk, "Dead and buried! I killed that bitch and nobody can tell me any different. I watched them put that cunt into the ground."

"You killed her with a bow provided to Master Disaster by Pluto, an Olympian god. Who knows what unearthly magic that weapon contained? It is entirely possible she never died at all, or if she did, that she was brought back to life. The Olympians are not mortals, they play by a different set of rules, and Mega-Girl is in league with them, a fact made obvious by her romantic entanglement to Apollo. I would tread warily, were I you. Apollo is not someone you want as an enemy."

"I didn't ask you for career advice," Killian sneered, "I asked you to figure out how to kill Mega-Girl."

"You have my report," Doctor Death inclined his hooded head towards a sealed packet on Killian's desk. "But I will summarize: Her strength is immense; she's capable of displacing 200-plus tons of weight, placing her in an elite category of individuals, like Apollo, who number less than a half dozen. This strength grants her muscular system an extreme level of durability, a cohesion that extends to her skeletal system and epidermis making her virtually invulnerable to any form of conventional damage sources. Even extreme amounts of heat, cold, energy, or radiation do not seem harm her. Mega-Girl is also an alpha-class self-kinetic, meaning she can fly faster than the speed of sound; the true upper limits of her speed are unknown, in fact. It's quite possible in the vacuum of space, free of friction, she could attain near-light speeds."

"Anything else?" Killian growled with a frustrated tone.

"Cyclone managed to stun her briefly with repeated strikes of lightning, though electricity doesn't seem to actually harm her physically; the dead villainess Inferna actually burnt Mega-Girl's hair by generating heat equivalent to the core of an active volcano; so Mega-Girl does exhibit exhaustion limits, but these are unquantifiable and beyond your physical ability to generate."
"Doesn't this bitch have any weaknesses?"

"Yes," Doctor Death answered sarcastically, "She seems vulnerable to magical Olympian bows."

Killian snorted angrily, "I gave the bow back to Master Disaster, and nobody knows where the hell he is. He disappeared after the Mega-Girl job."

"I suggest consulting a sorcerer or wizard," Doctor Death offered.

"What the hell are you talking about?" asked Killian, "You saying I need some kind of Harry Potter bullshit?"

"Do not dismiss magic as mythical hocus-pocus," Doctor Death warned, "The art of sorcery is rare, but real."

"And where the fuck am I supposed to find myself a wizard?"

"I know a practitioner I can refer you to. He lives in the French Quarter of New Orleans, a man they call... Lord Voodoo!"

======= Later that day... =======

An uncontrollable smile decorated Mega-Girl's unmasked face as she landed in her front yard. The new house she purchased was perfect for dealing with the unwanted attention of operating as an unmasked superhero. The closest houses were hundreds of feet to either side and separated by brick vanity walls. She was able to come and go without fear of prying neighbors, fans, or camped-out members of the paparazzi. Much had changed in Mega-Girl's life and she was thankful of her decision to hire Josh and the wealth he helped bring her.

The smile remained as Mega-Girl walked into the massive foyer between curving staircases, until she heard soft crying. "Jordan?" she called out, memories of their encounter with Deathstalker suddenly flooding her worried mind.

"In here," Jordan replied quickly from the kitchen. She sat on a stool at an island counter, her face red and puffy, while eating iced cream.

Mega-Girl looked relieved that Jordan was alone and appeared safe but also noticed she was eating the iced cream straight from its carton, rather than a bowl. "Uh-oh," Mega-Girl approached her best friend, "This can't be good."

"Travis and I broke up," Jordan sniffed and licked her spoon.

"What?" Mega-Girl was truly surprised; Jordan and Travis had been getting along so well during the prior months and there had been no signs of trouble in their relationship. "What happened?"

"I'm not even sure," Jordan wallowed, "I told him we weren't going back to school this fall and things went south from there. He started complaining that I was leaving him behind and that I live so far away... and then he told me my Harbinger business was stupid."

Mega-Girl slid a drawer open next to the fridge and retrieved a spoon, "He said that?"

Jordan nodded and wiped a sniffle off her nose with the back of a hand.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie."

"We got into this huge fight," Jordan offered the carton of iced cream over the counter, "I ripped the necklace he gave me off my neck and threw it at him. Then we started yelling at each other; by the time it was over I was in tears and we were calling each other names and saying awful things..."

Mega-Girl dug a spoonful of Rocky Road out of the carton, "And then he dumped you?"

"I think I broke up with him, first." Jordan rubbed her forehead, "I can't remember. It doesn't matter."

"Well," Mega-Girl took a deep breath and considered, "Do you want him back?"

Jordan shrugged feebly as she ate more, "I don't know. In a way he's kind of right. My life – both of our lives - have been speeding forward so quickly and I never really stopped to consider where Travis would fit in."

"Maybe he doesn't," Mega-Girl spoke delicately, "I don't think Travis wants to be a part of our world. He broke up with me because I'm Mega-Girl and started dating you – a more 'normal' girl. But now that you want to be Harbinger it sounds like he's getting cold feet again."

Jordan sighed in agreement, "Maybe."

"Do you love him?" Mega-Girl asked tentatively.

"I don't know. I never said the words to him or anything. I guess our intimacy never reached that level." Jordan took one more spoonful but didn't eat it, "I don't think I've ever been in love. How pathetic is that?"

Mega-Girl made a sympathetic laugh, "You're not pathetic. We're only twenty-one years old."

"Some girls are married by the time they're our age," Jordan reminded.

"I think you still have time to find true love," Mega-Girl noted dryly.

"How do you even know if you're in love?"

Mega-Girl shrugged helplessly, "Who knows? I'm in the same boat as you are."

Jordan's brow furrowed, "What? What do you mean? I thought you and Apollo...?"

Mega-Girl shook her head, "He tells me how much he loves me all the time. But... I've never said it back."

"Really? Isn't that awkward?"

"Not really. When Apollo says 'I love you' it's usually this totally involved thing where he tells me he's never felt about anyone the way he feels about me, or that he's waited for several millennia to be with me, and then we have really hot sex."

"That's kind of romantic," Jordan sighed jealously.

"I don't know," Mega-Girl pushed a hand through her waves of blonde hair, "Sometimes it just reminds me how old he is and I wonder how practical it is to be dating an immortal god, you know? I mean, what happens when I start getting old and he loses interest?"

Jordan leaned an elbow on the counter and placed her chin in her palm, "Yeah. Why does dating have to be so fucking complicated?"

Mega-Girl moved around the counter to give Jordan a hug, "I'm sorry about you and Travis. Is there anything I can do?"

"...yeah...," Jordan tried to breathe as she hugged back, "Lay off the mega-hug, MG. Remember – just a mere mortal here."

Mega-Girl blushed and loosened her squeeze, "Sorry."

======= In a completely different dimension... =======

Because his dark, curly hair and handsome features were known to all in the city of Olympus, the figure concealed himself beneath the hood of his bulky cloak as he made his way through the commons where royals rarely tread. He used back alleys that hardly saw the sun and smelled of mold until he reached his destination, an unassuming door leading into a three-story building made of wood and clay stucco.

"Hello," greeted a seductive voice that came from an equally seductive female dressed in a silk gown, "And welcome. May I help you?"

The man could detect a dozen different perfumes in the air and heard the giggling of girls from above. "I am looking for Hermaphrodite (Herm-af-ro-dye-tee)," he replied.

The woman smiled, "Many crave the mistress of the house, but she does not lie with commoners. Perhaps I could interest you in a -"

"I am not here to lie with anyone, nor am I common." The man withdrew his cloak's hood and let it rest at his shoulders, "Tell your mistress her father is here."

"Lord Hermes!" The woman turned wide-eyed and performed a quick bow, "I will inform her at once."

Hermes replaced his hood once the woman left, not wanting to be easily recognized by any of the brothel's other employees. He didn't wait long before the hostess returned and informed Hermes his daughter would see him in her private chambers.

The room was large and dimly lit by a smattering of candles, dominated by a canopied bed draped with silk and covered with plush pillows. Hermaphrodite sat at a mirrored vanity wearing a loincloth of material both thin and sheer. A bra was the only thing covering her torso, with purple cups and golden metal trim. She was entirely feminine and enticing, with a figure that had inspired poetry from Olympus' finest bards. Despite the immodesty of her apparel, Hermaphrodite's face was covered by a gauzy veil beneath her tumbling brunette tresses.

"Hello Father," she greeted in a scratchy and alluring voice.

"Hermaphrodite," Hermes inclined his head. He closed the chamber door and removed his cloak, wearing common clothes beneath – a simple tunic and trousers.

"You must be in trouble," she said, a tint of amusement to her tone, "I can't remember the last time you visited my brothel."

"I honestly have no idea if I'm in trouble," Hermes hung his cloak on a wooden tree designed for such things, "I have returned to Olympus in secret, a fact I hope your hostess outside will respect."

"My employees know how to hold their tongues," Hermaphrodite replied, remaining seated. "What brings you to my chambers in such a secretive way?"

"I seek information."

Hermaphrodite's beautiful blue eyes shimmered above her veil, "And you think I have it?"

"I know about your relationship with your uncle," Hermes was in no mood to play games and expedited the conversation, "And it is Ares I would know about."

Hermaphrodite glided a hand over her sultry thigh and crossed one leg over the other, "You say that with such judgement, father. I am hardly the first of us to engage in incestuous activities, after all. Besides, my relationship with Ares is more business-like. Do you really think he tells me all his secrets?"

"I think you know more of our family's dealings than you would ever admit," Hermes replied dryly.

Hermaphrodite laughed, "It's true, many of our blood frequent my establishment. More than most would suspect."

"Has he spoken of war?" Hermes pressed.

"War? Olympus has been at peace for centuries."

"Yes," Hermes nodded and approached a small bar filled with liquor bottles, "But Apollo and I recently trespassed within Hades and did battle with Pluto's forces. Though we had no army, what we did remains an act of war which violated an ancient treaty Pluto holds with Zeus. I need to learn the fallout of our actions."

"Why don't you ask Zeus?" Hermaphrodite gestured with a delicate hand.

Hermes chose a bottle and uncapped it, sniffing at its aroma. "Because if I do, I know he will command me to remain here – away from Earth and my brother. That is not a command I want placed upon me right now."

"I know of yours and Apollo's trespass," Hermaphrodite acknowledged, "Everyone in Olympus has heard of your deeds, by now. I hear grandfather is very angry. You are wise to avoid him."

Hermes glanced towards his daughter as he poured a cup of brandy, "Oh? Tell me what the gossips are saying."

"They say you stole a mortal from the realm of death, a mortal who rightfully belonged to Pluto. One he favored very much. She was to be his bride."

"The rumors are true," Hermes admitted, "What I want to know is if Ares has spoken of battle preparations. Have our actions led to tensions between Pluto and Olympus?"

"No," Hermaphrodite tossed a hand through her hair, "Zeus has placated his brother by promising to return the mortal."

"What!?" Hermes nearly dropped his drink.

"Tell me about her," Hermaphrodite leaned forward curiously and rested a forearm across her knee, "Is she as enchanting as the gossips claim? This must be quite a mortal to inspire mighty Apollo to risk the wrath of his elders and do battle with the foul hordes of Hades."

Hermes muttered, "The idea was mine, actually."

"Of course it was," Hermaphrodite smiled sarcastically beneath her veil and rose, "Apollo always was more brawn than brain, I suppose." She crossed the room in bare feet, "You were right to come to me. Zeus is furious with the both of you. But it is not Ares he's sending to capture Apollo's mortal."

"Who then?" Hermes wondered.

"He's sending mother," she answered, "He's sending Aphrodite."

Hermes paled.

======= Back on Earth we find our hero... =======

"I am going to kill you! I'll flay the skin from your bones until you scream in sweet pain, begging for the welcome release of death! I'll mount your head on my trophy room wall after severing it from your mangled body, so that all can witness the folly of defying... RAKECLAW!!!"

Mega-Girl lifted a defiant brow and folded her arms across her chest, "Seriously? Look, you're new around here, so I'm going to give you one more chance to give up peacefully."

Clad in a green spandex costume that covered her from neck to toe, Rakeclaw slashed the air in front of her in a threatening show of danger. Each of her fingers had foot-long steel claws extending from their tips, razor sharp and jumping with sparks as Rakeclaw slid one set of claws against the other. Her long hair was brown and wild, as were her eyes. "Give up? Give up?!" she spat, "I am death incarnate!"

The two stood facing one another on a narrow street in Gateway City's uptown bar district, a quaint section of the city close to its downtown core. A dinnertime crowd had gathered around the combatants after Mega-Girl had spotted trouble flying overhead. Rakeclaw had been attempting to rob a gas station, but when she found out the station's register only had $40 in cash she threw a tantrum, cutting up nearby parked cars, street signs, and traffic lights.

"...don't take no shit, Mega-Girl...!" a bystander yelled.

"...we love you, Penelope...!" another woman screamed.

"...kick her ass, MG...!" a man hollered, pumping his fist in the air.

Mega-Girl leveled a crooked smile towards Rakeclaw as the surrounding fans bolstered her confidence, "You do know who I am, don't you?"

"You're ribbons!" Rakeclaw screeched, leaping forward and slashing her dangerous talons across Mega-Girl's torso. Four slicing tears marred Mega-Girl's costume at her sternum, but her flesh beneath resisted any damage.

Rakeclaw stood stunned, incredulous to the lack of blood.

Mega-Girl blandly glanced down at her torn costume, "Now look what you've gone and done. I guess these new Nike costumes aren't any more resilient than my old ones."

"Insolent cow!!!" Rakeclaw shrieked.

"Cow? That's not very nice," Mega-Girl pretended offense. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep my butt in shape for this costume? I don't need you giving me any more self-esteem issues. Let me ask you something – do you have any powers or anything? Or do you just have those claws?"

"I don't need powers! My claws can rend steel!"

"Uh-huh," Mega-Girl nodded as though she'd heard it all before, "So what do you do when you encounter something tougher than steel?"

"Huh?" Rakeclaw was momentarily confused by the questions and overall lack of fighting.

"You know, like me?" Mega-Girl shot her fist forward in a quick, thrusting punch.

Rakeclaw flew backwards and slammed into the side of a parked car before slumping to the street unconscious.

The crowd around them immediately erupted in cheers and collapsed inward towards their hero, the people rushing towards Mega-Girl and her celebrity once the threat of Rakeclaw was no longer a factor.

"...sign an autograph... or a selfie...?"

"...is Apollo a natural blond...?"

"...love you, Mega-Girl...!"

"...bless my baby, please...?"

Mega-Girl wanted to wait for the police to show up, so she didn't see the harm in signing a few autographs or kissing a few babies; Josh was always telling her to embrace her fans, after all. After several pictures with cell phone cameras and politely declining three date invites, Mega-Girl answered a few questions from the police and watched as GCPD shackled Rakeclaw and hauled her away.

After a wave to the crowd, Mega-Girl rose into the air and lifted a hand to her ear to activate the cellular device there, "Harbinger?"

I'm here, MG.

"How are you doing, hon?"

I'm hanging in there. Trying not to think about it and stay busy. Phazer's got me looking into suspected police corruption in the Warrens, which helps.

"I've got a new one for you," Mega-Girl veered her flight towards the southern suburbs, "Add 'Rakeclaw' to the database. Female; somewhere between 20-30 in age; real name unknown. No known powers, but likely a sociopath. I stopped her from tearing up the uptown Pump N' Munch. She likes to cut people up with finger knives."

She sounds like a real charmer.

"Anything going on over the police bands?"

There's a lot of chatter about your activities, but nothing else.

"Okay, I'm going to circle the city once more and then stop by Apollo's."

I'll leave the light on for you. Let me know if you need anything, MG. Harbinger out.

Mega-Girl frowned and felt guilty about going to her boyfriend's when Jordan sounded so depressed over the radio, but she knew time was the only cure for some wounds. There was little she could do for Jordan other than offer a shoulder to cry on from time to time, but Jordan sounded as though she wanted to be alone and get her mind off the break-up with Travis.

After flying around the city one more time, the sun hung low in the western sky as Mega-Girl landed upon the penthouse balcony of Apollo's condominium. "Apollo?" she called after opening the unlocked sliding glass door, "Baby? Are you home?"

"He's not here," a scratchy, feminine voice replied.

Mega-Girl turned towards the sound to see a sexy brunette with long, tumbling curls appear from the bedroom hallway. Her shapely legs poked out from a pair of men's boxers, presumably Apollo's, and she wore one of his buttoned, long-sleeved shirts. Mega-Girl thought she looked to be about the same age as herself – a young college student, perhaps.

"Who the hell are you?" Mega girl asked jealously, a fist balling at her side.

"Apollo's niece," she answered casually, "My name is Hermaphrodite."

"Niece?" Mega-Girl looked surprised, her fist loosening. "I'm sorry, did you say your name was...?"

"Hermaphrodite," she repeated. "Apollo is with my father, Hermes."

"Hermes is your dad?" Mega-Girl was suddenly distracted from the connotations of Hermaphrodite's name.

"Yes," Hermaphrodite crossed the living room to sit on a large leather couch, "You must be the famous Penelope. You're every bit as beautiful as the gossips in Olympus claim."

"Thanks... wait, people in Olympus gossip about me?"

"Of course," Hermaphrodite smiled, "You're the most famous mortal woman in Olympus since Helen of Troy. Everyone is talking about how your beauty and charisma inspired Hermes and the mighty Apollo to risk death itself and invade the depths of Hades to rescue you."

Mega-Girl couldn't help her blush.

Hermaphrodite added, "Yes, very pretty, but your clothes are rather garish."

Mega-Girl glanced down at her costume, torn from her encounter with Rakeclaw, "We superheroes like to stand out, I guess. So what are Hermes and Apollo doing?"

"They went to Greece looking for the Mask of Dionysus."

"I see," Mega-Girl moved slowly towards a comfortable chair near Hermaphrodite's couch and sat. "Should I know what that is?"

"One of those magical objects we Olympians are so fond of," Hermaphrodite answered. She picked up the remote control for Apollo's television and studied it with casual interest. "It's the only thing that can protect someone from my mother's Majesty."

"Okay..." Mega-Girl sighed loudly as she grew more lost by the second, "What the heck is going on? Who's your mother? What is her 'Majesty'? And what are you doing here dressed in my boyfriend's clothes?"

"Pretty," Hermaphrodite commented to no one in particular, "But not too wise. Typical."

Mega-Girl suddenly felt like hitting her again.

"My mother is Aphrodite, daughter of Uranus, Goddess of love, beauty, fertility... all that." Hermaphrodite waved her hand dismissively as though she'd told the story a thousand times, "Her Majesty is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. Her beauty, her very aura, is so powerful that anyone who looks upon her can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of awe. Men and women alike drop to their knees in worship; the weak-willed weep with joy at her mere presence; no one would dare attack her or attempt to cause her harm because the only possible emotions one can express towards my mother are love and devotion. Even the mightiest of this world, or any other, can't help but do whatever she asks."

Mega-Girl lifted her brows, "Wow. She sounds impressive. But this mask, it makes the wearer immune to her Majesty?"
Hermaphrodite nodded, "Yes, Dionysus crafted it eons ago. I forget why. I think he wanted to get mother drunk and seduce her."

"I'm still not following," Mega-Girl offered a confused expression, "Why are Apollo and Hermes chasing after the mask now?"

"Because she's coming to take you back to Hades."

"What!?" Mega-Girl swiftly stood from the chair. "Why?"

"Pluto was furious after you were stolen away from him," Hermaphrodite explained, "He fairly threatened Olympus with war, for Apollo broke an ancient treaty while rescuing you. Zeus, unwilling to war against his own brother, made a bargain with Pluto to trade you in return for peace. Zeus convinced Aphrodite to carry out your re-capture, knowing Apollo would be powerless to stop her. She is perhaps the only Olympian who has no fear of Apollo's might; he is as helpless against her Majesty as any other."

"He needs the mask to try and protect me," Mega-Girl finally understood.

"It would seem his love for you is true," Hermaphrodite made a teasing smile, "So romantic."

"That still doesn't explain your presence," Mega-Girl looked to her.

"That's simple to explain," Hermaphrodite pressed a button on the remote and looked delighted when Apollo's television sprang to life, "As Aphrodite's child, I carry her blood in my veins. Like all of her children I am immune to her Majesty. Father thought that might come in handy. Also, he needed my conduit to return here to the mortal plane." Hermaphrodite wiggled her finger, which contained a ruby ring, indicating it was one of the magical artifacts capable of traversing the planes – a conduit.

"I thought Zeus ordered all the conduits destroyed?" Mega-Girl asked, remembering what Hermes once told her.

"I'm sort of the black sheep of the family," Hermaphrodite lifted an uncaring shoulder, "Being ignored sometimes has its advantages."

"I should go to Greece," Mega-Girl decided, "Your father and my boyfriend tend to find trouble whenever they're together. They might need my help."

"They'll be fine. They said the mask was in a museum, or something. Should be easy to obtain. Apollo will probably teleport them back before you even get there."

"So what am I supposed to do?" Mega-Girl hated feeling helpless, "Just sit around and wait for your mom to show up? Why didn't Apollo tell me this was happening?"

Hermaphrodite figured out how to change channels and began cycling through programs, fascinated by the television. "It will take Aphrodite some time to find you. She'll be using Zeus' conduit, which will carry her to Britannia. Then she'll need to figure out a way to get here and locate you. It might take her several days. Apollo and Hermes thought it prudent to secure the mask now and fill you in later."

Mega-Girl sighed and sat back down, "I thought I was done getting hunted by Olympians. Your family is a real pain in the ass."

======= Elsewhere... =======

While it was evening in Gateway City, it was early morning in Athens. Apollo and Hermes stood outside the Acropolis Museum under a bright moon, dressed in plain clothes and standing on the far side of a wide concourse in front of the columned building. The shadows from a cluster of trees concealed their position.

Apollo felt weak and vulnerable without the sun, but their plan didn't involve him or his waning strength.

"We could really use your twin for a job like this," Hermes commented as they watched a patrolling security guard walk the perimeter of the museum.

"Thou art the patron of thieves," Apollo grunted at him ironically, "This should be child's play for thee."

"I'm just saying that Artemis' keen senses could be useful, there looks to be quite an active staff of guards and the last thing we need is to draw attention to ourselves. If we end up on the front page of a newspaper for breaking into a museum, Aphrodite might know we have the mask. We'd lose the advantage."

"Thy speed will conceal thee," Apollo sounded confident.

Hermes nodded, "I'll just wait for this guard to take his coffee break."

The two stood quietly in the shadows for several moments before Apollo broke the silence, "What was she like?"

"Hm?" Hermes glanced at him.

"Aphrodite," Apollo clarified, "We've never spoken of it – thy affair with her."

"It was okay," Hermes downplayed it with a shrug.

Apollo gave him an annoyed expression, "Aphrodite's the most beautiful woman in existence. Gods and men have met true deaths attempting to prove worthy of her attentions."

"What do you want me to say?" Hermes defended his position, "I've had better."

Apollo growled, "Who?"

"Do you remember Ragnar's wife?" Hermes asked.

Apollo looked impressed, "Lagertha?"

Hermes nodded, "Now she was amazing in bed. I've always been fond of Nordic women..."

Apollo snorted, "Ragnar would have sailed his Viking army all the way to Greece if he knew of thy indiscretion."

"Perhaps," Hermes agreed, "But Ragnar was an idiot. A supremely talented warrior, but an idiot nonetheless." A smile suddenly decorated Hermes' boyish expression, "Do you remember the time when all of us were in Trondheim and Hephaestus got drunk? He fell into that vat of tomato paste which turned his beard bright red and Ragnar thought he was the Nord god Thor!"

Apollo smirked at the memory, "Aye. The heathens."

Hermes shook his head amusedly, "As though there could be any such thing as Norse gods. The very idea is ludicrous."

Apollo lifted his chin and indicated with a pointing finger, "Look, the guard is leaving. Now is thy moment."

To Apollo's eyes, it seemed as though Hermes simply vanished. No more than a second later he reappeared, an ancient and decorative mask in hand. A half second after that, an alarm sounded from the museum.

"They had it in a glass case rigged with an alarm," Hermes complained at the noise, "It was unavoidable."

Apollo nodded understandingly and grabbed Hermes' arm to teleport them back to Gateway City. "You did well, brother."

Hermes prepared himself to jaunt halfway around the world in an instant, "I just hope this thing actually works..."
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