My wife had not been feeling well for about a week before 9-11-18. I had to force her to eat and she refused to go to the hospital.

She had an appointment with her oncologist the morning of the tenth, and once she saw my wife she told me to take her to the ER. I asked her to call ahead and she said she was - we had gone to the UMMC ER twice before and she walked in to sit for up to 13 hours without being seen, the last time the wheel chair I wheeled her in was taken so a woman who lost a son could sit in it. She had a history of clots and feared she had a blockage in her legs. During our wait she began to feel better so we left. I will never forget waking past a station with several men dressed in scrubs standing, joking and laughing behind the counter.

The ER was not busy, I had to wheel her in the morning of the tenth and when I tried to ask for a doctor/nurse to look at her I was stopped by a security officer. A couple left the check-in and again I went to ask for help but was again stopped by the security guard, this time he told me I was to wait, that I followed the man in the green and blue striped shirt. A nurse did appear and asked if someone called for a doctor, glanced at my wife, then turned to the black woman who wanted an excuse for work. They went into an office and I never saw the nurse again.

We waited for two hours, the whole time my wife was dying. I am not trained so I was not aware of how dire her condition was. The security guard seemed more interested in me moving my car than calling anywhere for anyone to check out whether the oncologist had called - which I informed him of twice - or someone to look at my wife.

Finally we are in check in and the woman - I do not think she was a nurse look at my wife and became alarmed. She was sent back and immediately looked at but the two interns seemed baffled, they ran tests. After ten, maybe fifteen minutes a doctor appeared and asked a couple of questions. That's when my wife stopped breathing and never started again.

I waited in the waiting room for an hour before anyone came out for me. I was told my wife had an aneurysm and their was little chance she would recover. It was the two interns, one of which seemed proud that they had discovered them problem with my wife as his smile didn't disappear until he informed me she would probably not recover.

Then the doctor entered the room and told me the CT showed old blood and asked if she had had any blows to the head. No she had not but he looked at me in disbelief at how she could have reached such a state before this problem was discovered. I now too question why that was so, I had communicated to her doctors that she had been acting like she was abusing her meds. She denied it and nothing was ever done to follow up on why she was acting like this. She got so bad on one occasion that I took her to the local hospital where they kept her for several days, but did not look any deeper than her abusing her meds, even though she denied it.

I must admit I thought she might be taking more pain killer than prescribed, she acted like someone under the influence. This usually lasted for several days and she was back to normal. I wish I had seen then what I know now, her symptoms were those of a stroke. More than a couple of times did I inform her health care providers - PCP, hematologist, nurses and assistants of her behavior.

I cannot see that there is a procedure in place at the UMMC ER - other than checking in with security and waiting in line to be checked in. The security desk is completely across the room from the door, seemingly guarding the ER patient waiting room. A person is required to walk to it, empty their pockets, walk through a metal detector then circle around before entering the ER patient waiting room to the security desk again. No call to triage and no one from triage seemingly on duty where they might help save a life.

I should have raised such hell to get a nurse/doctor to look at my wife, but I figured I would have merely been arrested and the outcome would remain the same, other than me not being with my wife when she came from the ER. I never expected her to leave it dead. The ER is the ONLY TRAUMA UNITY in the state, and I feel safe in saying that is also a TRAUMA ONLY unit. So if you do not have a gun shot wound or a limb amputated in a plant accident, or involved in an auto crash it is not the ER to go to. Yet they do offer doctor's excuses for what, for skipping work?

I WARN YOU. If you have an emergency DO NOT TAKE YOUR LOVED ONE TO UMMC ER - call and ambulance. I took my wife three times and wasted a day of our lives for nothing but sore butts, the third time I took her, they let her die. Apparently a person that wants just a doctor's excuse for work is what the staff expects to walk into the ER and they couldn't care less.

The last thing my wife requested of me was that I care for our animals before dark, she knew she would be admitted. I drove home, about fifty miles but about twenty miles into the trip I had a blow out. Tire changed and animals cared for, I was headed back to the ER, I suffered another blow out - the cheap ass doughnut spares are not designed to actually help a person in an emergency.

When I finally returned she had been moved to the MICU. She was connected to a respirator and beneath a thermal blanket to regulate her body temperature. The nurses kept me hopeful, but when her eyes did not react, that pretty well tells the story. But still, anyone would want to hold onto some hope of recovery.

The following day my wife was visited by a couple of doctors, one gave hope, the other was less optimistic. I asked how long is long enough to show signs of recovery, again I was given hope when he said twenty-four to forty-eight hours. Some hours later the head of neurology visited my wife. When asked the same question he answered by informing me that her brain had been forced from her skull into her neck by the aneurysm.

DAMN! A simple acknowledgement that she would not recover was all I wanted to hear. But now I have the mental image of what that might look like. I wonder why he did not produce the CT image and point out the details with his pointer.

I waited for my wife's sisters to arrive. When I first entered the ER on the tenth, I never suspected I would be removing the respirator from my wife depriving her sweet heart of oxygen until it stopped. But that is what happened, I had it removed around three pm, about seventeen hours after admitting her to the ER.

Rest in peace my love. I will always love you.