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The Elusive Vaginal Orgasm

We don't have orgasms from penal penetration so surly we must be frigid. Isn't that the way it's been for centuries. I thought that notion disappeared back in the 60's, but it surely must be true as so many women writers here at Literotica claim they have these wondrous, marvelous throw me on the floor spread my legs and fuck me orgasm. I surely must be a frigid lesbian as good as the love of my life is with her fingers she just can't give me an orgasm with only her fingers in my lovely cunt.

I want to start out by simple stating, there is no scientific evidence that a woman can have an orgasm from virginal penetration alone. I don't care what some writer here at Literotica claim I'm simple stating a fact.

Women have been hooked up to so many machines, tested over and over and over again since the original and most intensive study done by scientists William Masters and Virginia Johnson on how male and female bodies react to sexual arousal and orgasm. If you care to read their research it was published in 1966 and titled Human Sexual Response.

Of course that isn't the only study ever done, many more studies have been conducted since and are continuing today. But none, at least that I'm aware of, have shown that women can have an orgasm from virginal penetration alone, be it with a penis, fingers or dildo(defined as anything that fits). I'm quite sure that if such data existed we all would have heard about it many times. Men would be screaming it from the roof tops.

I think part of the problem is that we don't really define a female orgasm one way, and I assure there is only one way to really define it. Orgasm is used to describe so many things it just isn't; things like female ejaculation, non-orgasmic physical pleasure, the spiritual/emotional highs associated with intercourse, the need and desire to be penetrated by your lover, or the high one may get from a semi public display of sexual activity, I know that high myself so very well, it can, at least for me be as stimulating as any orgasm but it's not an orgasm. Although at times I may have an orgasm during those times. Perhaps if I didn't ever have one it wouldn't be so much fun.

All of those sexual activities are wonderful but calling them or even insinuating those are orgasms is only confusing the issue. For a woman who is in the process of working her way through a very complicated and confusing sexual culture it can even be catastrophe. And I don't mean just young women either, it's almost tragic how many women have never had an orgasm. Married women and single women all strips and sizes of normal women have never had an orgasm, no wonder so many women ask the question "Is that all there is?". At least it explains to me why so many men complain their wives don't want sex.

How do you think these women feel when willy nilly orgasm is thrown out there to mean just about anything and they aren't feeling anything. How much self doubt do you want her to feel? Sally has these wonderful orgasms from intercourse with her husband, why can't I? Of course Sally doesn't it isn't going to happen. Not that she can't have an orgasm during intercourse but only if there is some direct or indirect clitoral stimulation. If we don't define an orgasm as it really is along with how we can have one we're helping no one.

All the other things about sex with a partner are great but eventually if you don't have an orgasm it's just "IS THAT ALL THERE IS".

So, what is the definition of an orgasm?

According to William Masters and Virginia Johnson, still the gold standard of physical orgasm research. Following is a very brief description based on their work. Males and females basically have the same physical reactions. During arousal, the pelvic muscles begin to tense and blood begins to pool in the genital areas this pooling causes males to get erections, and it causes women to begin emitting lubrication from our vaginal walls and causes swelling to occur in our visible vulva area and in our clitoral legs, which are hidden deep in our pelvis; and by the way women have as much blood pooling in their genitals as men, sometimes more, the male reaction is just easier to see. Orgasm is the sudden release of the muscle tension and blood pooling that has built up during arousal. For both men and women, the pelvic muscles will release the tension with spasms at a rate of about 1 every .8 seconds. It's very similar in both sexes; it's just that men also usually ejaculate at the same time they orgasm. This ejaculation/orgasm at the same time thing is not a normal occurrence for women. This Masters and Johnson definition is the physiological definition of an orgasm, and is what I refer to when I say orgasm.

I now regret not continuing on in my essay 'A Woman's Sexual Responses' to the actual orgasm, I just assumed all we women defined one the same way. I'm now not so sure we do. Maybe I'll rewrite it and resubmit it.

No I didn't describe the feeling of ecstasy one gets from an orgasm, nor ones desire for many more once she's had one. I haven't tried to explain just how different a woman's orgasms can be depending on her mood, her feelings for her partner or if the orgasm was self given or by a skilled partner. Nor did I try to explain how much more intense a direct stimulations orgasms is over indirect stimulation. Not to mention, at least for us women, the number of contraction can vary greatly. Of course not forgetting that we women can have multiple orgasms and what an amazing experience that can be.

What is not an orgasm: The following things are not within the physical definition of orgasm and not what I refer to when I say "orgasm"

The pleasure one feel during sex, a physical, mental or other high that does not fit the definition of Masters and Johnson. I'm sure some women feel I'm being unfair to them but no matter these are not orgasms. These things may have great value during sex, they may even be needed for some women to actually experience an orgasm during partner sex but none of them are an orgasm.

Arousal is not an orgasm. Of course we need to be aroused to have an orgasm but we can be aroused and never have an orgasm. What arouses a person is quite distinctive and has as much to do with the mental aspect as the physical, but the final stimulation needed to push a woman into orgasm is the same for all women - clitoral stimulation. Just think of it in terms of how we understand male orgasm. A man can and is easily aroused, he can be extremely hard just from looking at a naked woman. Let's just say we don't touch his penis, we kiss him, we suck his nibbles, we strokes and kiss his back but we never ever touch his penis, would we really think he's going to ever go over the edge to an orgasm, not likely. Our clits are the ultimate penis, sorry for my comparison. As a matter of fact all those little boys(aren't they always boys) started out with a clit, which than grew into a penis. So to assume that women can have an orgasm without clitoral stimulation is just untrue. It's as stupid an assumption as to believe a man can have an orgasm from just standing there. He need his penis stimulated, we need our clits stimulated.

Ejaculation - Female ejaculation does exist, it's a proven fact, and some women who have them say they find it pleasurable, but it's not an orgasm. Ejaculation and orgasm are physically different events in both men and women; men just happen to ejaculate simultaneously at the time of orgasm and most women do not. Yes this is the great debate about the G-Spot, which most women don't have, because for women who do have one it's a sure way for her to ejaculate, but in no way can she have an orgasm from just G-Spot stimulation. By the way if you've ever really fucked a woman with your fingers, and I do mean fucked, you'll be surprised just how many sweet spots she has in her love canal. The god of G-Spot should do some more work in that regard.

What things have science really shown us give a woman an orgasm?

If as I contend, scenically backed up, that a woman's orgasm comes from clitoral stimulation and not from vaginal stimulation, everyone who reads this, having any knowledge of a woman's sexuality, has to admit that my statement that clitoral simulation gives a woman an orgasm is true. It fact, it's documented and it's proven, my point won.

On the other hand there is no physical evidence what so ever that penises or fingers or dildos stimulating the inside of the vagina have caused an orgasm. This is not to say, nor am I trying to say that orgasms can't take place during penetration it's just for an orgasm to happen clitoral stimulation has to be added. We lesbian do this all the time, it's called tribbing, rubbing our vulva on one of the body parts of our partner. Very similar to a woman using a man's pelvis for clitoral stimulation during intercourse. Both these method can give us women an orgasm, may I add here that you straight women ought to give it a try it's a lovely way to have an orgasm. It also is good practice for when you're on top using his pelvis to get great clitoral stimulation during intercourse.

As far as types of orgasms there is only one, intensity does vary, length does vary, the number of contraction vary, but still there is only one type of orgasm, not just for us women but also for you men.

Even thought Master and Johnson were strongly biased to the notion of women having the hands free orgasm from penal penetration alone, the closets they ever came was to bring a woman as close to the point of orgasm as was possible without having one than allowing her intercourse with a male. Those cases were the only confirmed orgasms during intercourse and even M&J had to admit that most likely the orgasms were caused by indirect clitoral stimulation. Although the orgasms they had were physically similar to the ones these same women had during direct clitoral stimulation, they were also the weakest ones they had, both in terms of the physical intensity of the muscle spasms and in terms of the women's own subjective feelings. Logically it's easy to see why these were second rate orgasms coming from indirect clitoral stimulation instead of direct stimulation.

Am I absolutely sure a woman can't have an orgasm from virginal penetration only, of course not. I wish it were so, just one more advantage to those of us who are members of the fairer sex. Not that I wouldn't mind seeing all you boys beat your chest crying out "Me Tarzan". Don't expect me to be your Jane.

If your one of the writers here who seem to prove me wrong, don't get me wrong I do think some of your stories are really hot, then you own it to the rest of us women to volunteer for one of the many studies going on about our sexuality. I'd surly love to know your secrete, I surly would love to have a massive orgasm while the love of my life fucks me silly with her fingers, it's already such a wondrous feeling wouldn't an orgasm make it so much more so. Of course she does give me orgasm but it's a two handed affair, two fingers(sometimes all four) of one hand in my cunt the fingers on her other stimulating my clit. So very delicious.

Have a nice day. Smile it's infectious!
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