Alright, kiddo. Calm down. I see that look in your eyes. You’re thinking, What the fuck? Is that a fucking fairy? But before you go running downstairs to your mommy, let me explain.

First off: Happy birthday, kiddo. Eighteen years old? God damn. I heard high school is a bitch. Especially if you’re a fairy. A human fairy, I mean. But now I’m getting ahead of myself.

See, every human fairy gets a real fairy when they become an adult. You’re thinking again, What the fuck? Is this thing calling me a fairy? Yeah, you’re a fairy. A gay. A faggot. Whatever.

So on your eighteenth birthday, I was born. Every faggot gets a fairy when they become a man. That’s the cosmic contract. It’s like that Peter Pan story, but reversed. Got it? Keep listening.

This morning, eighteen years after you were born, to the precise hour and minute, I was born. Where? Inside your soul. That’s located in the prostate. Hahaha. Of course, I’m joking. Jeez.

Two things you should know. One, I’m a reflection of your power. Two, I’m an agent of vices. What does that mean? Well, it means we’ve got work to do. Me and you, we’re a team now.

Long time ago, a fairy once said, Everything is about sex, except sex itself. Sex is about power. So here’s the gist: We’ve got a long dossier. A list of targets to expose. Don’t get caught up in a moral quandary, alright? This is your sacred duty. Now let me introduce myself: I’m Rae.