(???'s POV)

Ohhh....fuuuck me, my head! Goddamnit, I feel like a semi just smashed me the face then backed up over it, waited until I tried to get up then ran me over again. What the hell happened to me? Wait...WHO THE FUCK AM I?! Ok ok, calm down dumbass, if you have learned anything from midnight horror movie marathons it is that panicking solves nothing. I'll start slow and qork my way through this. Let's get one thing straight first...am I male or female?

{Author's Note: The next few chapter take place from the perspective of an adult of ambiguous age.}