You are a 23 year old man. Your name is Eli. You work as an accountant downtown and you somehow managed to pick up a mortgage for a nice family home in the suburbs. You had only caught some glimpses of your neighbours while moving a couple of boxes. You hadn't been a relationship since you broke up with your high school sweetheart two years ago.

It was a sunday morning and you had quickly gotten bored. You were yet to get WiFi in your new house and didn't have cable as you thought cable it was too expensive for the mediocre content it produced. You decide that you might as well go meet your new neighbours. You change into some khaki shorts and put on a shirt from some event you went to a couple years back. You threw your Seattle Mariners hat on backwards and wore sandals with socks. Today was only your second day in the suburbs and you had already nailed the suburban dad outfit.

You then go to meet your neighbours. You ring the door and see a woman in her 40s approaching the door. She opens the door and you begin the conversation by introducing yourself and telling her you moved in next door. You stick your hand out to shake hers. Now is when you realize that your new neighbour wasn't wearing anything, not even a single stitch.