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The Sharpest Lives Ch. 05

I hate putting in Author's Notes.

But I am, because I think you will enjoy the story better with what I'll tell you to do.

After all, your enjoyment is of importance here.

Initially I wanted each chapter to have a different title, a song that explains each chapter.

So now, I'll just head each chapter like this, to keep the flow:

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Sick Like Me



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I lay on the wicker lounge chair, an arm shielding my face from the sun. I jiggled my leg now and then, so the mosquitos would stay away. I felt a soft tug on my shirt, and felt something go up on my chest. I removed my arm to see the tabby kitten curling up on my chest. It had tracked dirt all over my shirt.

"Oh you, you're just too cute to get angry at," I murmured, as I pulled it closer.

I found the kitten on the second day I was here, hanging around the front porch. It was an ordinary brown and grey tabby- when it first saw us, it ran to hide; then from its safe point it watched us, shoulders high and tense, as if it would attack if it needed to.

"Stay away from that," he had said immediately.

"Why? It's just a baby," I replied. I got on my knees, and tried a few hello meows.

"Because you don't know where it has been," he said testily. "And also I hate animals. They stink. I better not smell that stank on you." He stood a few paces behind me, arms crossed, annoyed.

"You won't," I retorted. I extended my hand, and watched as the kitten padded closer. It looked at me, at my hand, then it looked at him, and meowed loudly.

"Piece of shit," he muttered.

"What is with you?" I said, as I started scratching behind its ears.

The kitten arched its neck, eyes closed, clearly enjoying the feeling. It had clumps of dirt in its fur, and getting rid of them must have felt good.

I scooped up the kitten, and held it close to my breast. It curled up against the warmth of my skin.

He stood there, with murder in his eyes.

"I want it," I said. "Please, I'll clean it, I'll keep it away from you... But you go away at times and I like having something for myself nearby... I want a pet..."

His eyes softened for a second, but that was it. "Fine. You're such a child." He stepped up to me, and slid a hand into my jeans to grab my butt. I hissed as his fingers sank into my flesh. I felt his finger inch towards my butthole, and I wriggled free- I wasn't ready for that...

"You'll have hell to pay later anyways," he murmured, as he kissed me roughly.

He couldn't keep long, since the kitten yelped at the sudden invasion of its personal space, and jumped up. I caught it before it did any more damage.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I said quickly. He scoffed, then went off to his car.

Louise caught me as I went back into the house. She seemed to have an almost magical ability to be wherever she wanted to be, locks and walls be damned. She noticed the little ball of fur I was cradling in my arms.

"Oh, such a sweet thing..." she cooed, as she came closer to scratch its head. "Don't let him see this," she advised.

"He already did. I even asked him. But why is he afraid of cats?" I asked.

"Oh honey, he isn't afraid of cats," she said, looking at me sadly.

"Then?"

"He hates them. All animals actually."

"But why?"

"Nobody knows why we do the things we do, sweet child," she said, as she pinched my cheek. I yeowled at the pain, as she laughed. "Go get it cleaned. Wear gloves before you wash it. I'll get some milk for it.. It's still a baby so the milk will need diluting.."

I went into the washroom, and ran the water into the sink. The kitten, upon hearing the noise of the running water, climbed up onto my shoulder, sinking its claws into my skin as it went.

"Ow! Kitty! I'm trying to help you here!"

I wrenched the thing off my clothes and literally threw it into the water. It cried, and tried to escape, but I caught it and managed to start working on its fur. I really should have listened to Lousie, as it started scratching and biting my hand as I washed it.

After I was done, I wrapped it up in a towel and held it near my chest again, and it stopped fidgeting. I thought about using a hair dryer, but it would probably spook it even more, so I just tried drying it with the towel.

Louise called me to the table, where she had put a bowl of milk. I placed the kitten on the table, and it ran to the bowl and started lapping up the milk.

"You're a sweet girl," said Louise after a while, looking at me. "Liam's lucky to find you."

"...thank you." I said, a bit uneasily.

"I can see what he sees in you though, you're the most docile and shy person I've seen! Do you have any backbone at all, girl?" she laughed.

I felt myself swell up in anger, like my kitten had done in the bushes. She noticed that. "Oh sweet pea, I mean that in a good sense. There aren't many people like that around. They just don't teach that as a good quality anymore," she explained. "It matches nicely with Liam's personality...he needs to be with someone like you, otherwise he might just explode."

"He doesn't seem like that, actually. I mean with others he's very popular and gets along with people..." I said, trying to change the topic.

"Oh that's recent. That's just a show. That's what he's expected to be like and blah blah," she replied, waving her hand dismissively.

"You've know him for a while," I said.

"Since he was a toddler. His family used to come here every week when he was younger. Very quiet boy, very secretive. I had to pry the thoughts out of his mind, even if it was just to know what he wanted to eat."

"He talks like you, you know?"

"Hah! He should! He used to hang onto my skirts like a little leech. I was the only one who could handle him. Not that he was a handful in the regular sense, but you know... No, you wouldn't..."

"I'm getting to know, don't worry." I replied. She smiled at my words.

"Just... forgive him, sometimes, alright? Everyone has a heart. Some just feel too much."

"Humph. I wonder if he feels at all..."

She sighed at my statement. "If you're saying that... I hope he hasn't treated you too badly.." she said in a low voice.

"Did he have more girlfriends over?" It came out of my mouth before I could stop myself. "I mean, did he...do you know any of his old... friends..." I trailed off stupidly.

"Oh he calls many people over," she said, easily, "Girls mostly, boys sometimes. Mostly for fun." She watched me closely.

I wanted to ask, what kind of fun? But I thought against it. I looked down instead.

"Lately not so much, with things going a bit badly for his family and all," she finished.

The kitten meowed loudly, and I scooped it into my arms again. It shivered, as I wasn't dry it, so I opened my shirt to warm it against my bare skin.

"Do you have children?" I asked offhandedly.

"Oh no. I'm infertile," she said, a tad too happily. "So is my husband."

"Oh," I said. I didn't know what else to say.

"It's an odd life when you're like that. You don't expect much from the other, so you are happy with whatever comes by."

I hmmed in agreement, lost in my own thoughts.

When he came back, he found me in bed, dozing off with my kitten in my arms.

"You're here," I murmured.

"Yes. What is that doing in my room?"

"It was sleeping..." I didn't know how else to uphold my case.

He pulled off the blanket, albeit roughly, and started pulling on my jeans. My kitten sprang awake at the sudden movement and hid under the pillow. I knew it was no use- I shimmied out of my jeans. I sat back on my heels, waiting for him to start.

"Useless bitch," he spat, as he attacked my hair and lips with his fingers.

I started sucking on his fingers like he liked it. He growled in approval, pulling my hair tighter, shoving his long fingers in deeper. I reached for the buckle of his jeans, and started my own ministrations on his growing member.

"I'll.. let my... mmm.. kitten out..." I said between his finger pumping.

"Oh no... No need. Let the little pussy see how I fuck this little pussy," he breathed. He then sank his fingers into my cunt, which was slowly becoming wetter by the second.

"Mmmm... still so tight," he whispered. "I want to see this hole gaping by the time we're done here... A deserving decoration for a slut like you."

I just moaned like the slut he said I was, and continued rubbing his dick. I reached forward to grasp his warm cock between my breasts. He pushed me down, and stood over my chest on his knees, so he could get better leverage. Cum started dripping onto my breasts and I used it to lubricate his cock as he pushed it back and forth. He twisted my nipples; I cried out and I felt the head of his cock push into my mouth.

"Open wider, babydoll..." he drawled. "You better drink all that's coming up..."

With each thrust I licked his incoming cock. His weight was suffocating me, and in a while couldn't keep up with his speed. Suddenly he stopped, his cock just in my mouth, and he blew his load into my throat.

I gulped, as he massaged my breasts. Even though it hurt, I kept swallowing.

"My little rabbit has gotten so much better at drinking its Master's cum," he said, sliding off, and cupping a hand against my cheek.

"You deserve a reward," he said, as I looked at him, eyes wide. What can that be?

I couldn't even trust his rewards. He looked behind me, and pointed. I looked, to see my kitten hiding behind the lamp on the side table.

"You get to keep kitty for a day more."

"A- d-day?" I stuttered.

"Of course. You keep pleasing me like this, I'll let that thing stay. Aren't I gracious?"

I rolled over to reach my kitten. It smelled my hand, then sank further away.

"Mommy smells like the big bad wolf, that's why it's not coming closer," he whispered, as he wrapped his arms and legs around my body.

I closed my eyes.

When you said you would break me, I thought you meant my body.

But you're crueler than that.

You want to enslave my mind first.

The rest of the day passed coldly; at least from his side. He wouldn't sit near me, touch me, or reply back to me.

I genuinely did not feel the need to respond to his actions. I was happy just letting it be. I felt unshackled somehow.

My kitten started approaching me after I took a bath. Now it followed me everywhere, playing with my toes, pawing on my anklet, climbing up my leg to sit on my shoulder, kneading its paws on stomach or rubbing its head against it. Sometimes it would press its wet nose against mine.

I felt so... loved

"That's a kiss," said Louise, when she saw us at one of our nose touching sessions. "Cats kiss each other by touching noses."

"Oh!" I replied.

At night, he didn't come to his room. Was it my responsibility to make sure he did? He didn't seem to care, he hated that I had something anyway...

How can someone be so selfish...

The next day I found him lounging outside, looking at the lake. I approached him, uneasily, hesitant. He didn't look my way. I sat on the wooden floor, next to him.

"What's up?" I tried.

"Nothing much. How is the kitten doing?"

"It's okay. She's sleeping inside. In the living room," I said hurriedly, in case he misunderstood.

"Hmm..she?"

"I checked online. She's a her." I swallowed, and continued. "She's a sweet thing really.. She kisses me now.." I added.

"Kisses?"

"She touches my nose with hers. It's a cat kiss," I explained. "Mom cats do it with their kittens."

"I see." He still didn't turn around to look at me.

"Look... I don't know how to explain this... I still like you very much. I'll do anything for you," I explained. "But this is just... a cat, I mean, I don't see why- I mean maybe you don't like animals, but I do, now is that such a bad thing?"

"Liking animals is not a bad thing," he replied. He turned around to look at me, and I was subjected to the full force of his glare.

My throat went dry. I managed to croak, "Then why.."

He didn't reply.

I reached in closer...I was drawn in... I cupped my hands around his face and touched his lips with mine.

He raised me, grabbing my sides and bringing me on top of him. I lay on him now, as he ran his hands over my body. I arched my back, pushing my pelvis into his. I felt him growing under me, and I mewled. He exhaled deeply.

"Whore," he said. His face was dark and angry. Something was wrong.

"You're doing this for that thing,"

"What?" I asked, confused, then I realized. "No! No, this is not that...This is silly! Why are you being like this?" I started tearing up.

He held me closer, and started kissing and biting my neck. I struggled, but his hands just seemed to push me harder against his body.

"I can't decide how to punish you... What do you hate more? Lashes, punches, cuts or piercings?" he whispered in my ear, as he bit it.

I cried out.

Suddenly I heard a car honk. He jerked up, loosening his hold on me. I rolled onto the floor, and scrambled to my feet.

"Liam? Hiding around, haven't seen you for ages! Where are you, you bastard?" a voice called out. A tall, lanky man strode onto the deck. Behind him followed Beth, and another striking pretty girl.

"You're one to talk, Benjy," replied Liam, as we got up, arms raised for an embrace.

Benjy was a bit taller than Liam, yet he bent his head into the nook of Liam's shoulder. They held on, and I stood awkwardly, staring at the sudden display of brotherly affection.

"Hello Kim," said Beth, coming to my rescue. "I'm here, as I promised, and I bought two monkeys with me."

I internally thanked God for sending at least one sane person to the family.

"This is Rachel... Benjy's friend."

The girl cut in front of Beth, to stand almost up to my face. I looked into her eyes, and I could swear I saw nothing.

"Girlfriend, actually. Hi. And you are?"

"I'm... I'm Kim. I'm Liam's friend."

"You're a bit young for our circle, aren't you? I thought you were a friend of Beth's," she responded.

"Mm. I am, kind of," I smiled a little, plasticly, and she gave a similar smile back. I stepped around her, to reach for Beth's shoulder.

"I'm glad you're here," I replied, in all honesty.

"My brother just came back yesterday, so I thought it would be a good time to visit," she smiled, a small, genuine smile.

"Let's go get your rooms sorted out," said Liam. We filed through the side door into the dining area, and I felt Liam move discreetly behind me, his hand on my hip...

Who the hell does he think he is?

"Beth can share with me," I said loudly.

"Beth has her own room," replied Liam.

Beth turned around to look at us, confused.

"There are enough rooms upstairs and downstairs for all of us," said Benjy calmly.

"Ooh, there is a downstairs?" said Rachel. "That's where we'll bunk, baby," she reached forward to peck Benjy's cheek. He smiled, but I realized he looked a bit... distracted?

"It's more like a basement, babe, we guys just sleep down there when the whole family is together. A big old slumber party like the old times, eh Liam?" he motioned to Liam, who smiled indulgently and nodded.

"Maybe you can sleep there tonight," Liam whispered, as he passed me to go into the kitchen.

I stayed away from Liam as far as it was possible. Luckily our new guests kept us busy with talk, and once Louise and Jay came in I didn't have to worry much. I introduced my kitten to them, and she curiously padded her way around their feet, purring and rubbing as she wished. But the moment she saw Liam, she vanished.

"The kitty is scared of Liam!" exclaimed Rachel, as my kitten suddenly came running to me, as I sat cross legged on the sofa. I spied Liam passing by across in the other room.

Rachel was sitting next to me, much closer than I liked. She reached into my lap to pet the cat, and she slinked another hand over my thigh. She smiled at me, and I gave a half grimace. I just felt annoyed by her. I gently moved her hand away.

"Little kitty recognizes the crazy in him, that's all," said Benjy, laughing. Beth punched him in the arm. "It's not funny," she said quietly.

I looked at her questioningly, but she just shook her head.

When night actually came, I became worried. I lay on my bed, in his room, my arms wrapped protectively around my kitten.

It's mine. It loves me. It doesn't use me. It's so simple, why can't he just let me have my thing? I wondered angrily.

The door swung open. It was Rachel.

"Hey," I said, instantly annoyed.

"I can't sleep," she blurted out. "Beth locked her door and Benjy's snoring, so I thought I'd come see you."

"Oh." I looked around for an excuse. "Well, the cat is sleeping..."

"Aww so cute! You'd make a great mom," she said, sitting on the bed. "Or a great cat, actually, that's why probably it likes you so much."

"Mm-hmm?" I said, uninterested, lying back down on the bed.

"I'm gonna invite you over next week," she said. "My place... I have to show you to the rest of the gang."

"I think I'll be busy with classes that week," I replied. "I've already taken these few days off."

"Oh don't worry sweets, I'll return you back. It's only for an evening," she persisted.

She lay down, he blonde locks merging with my dark ones. She looked at me, and now instead of the vapid, blank look I saw earlier, I saw...

"So what did Liam do with you?" she asked, as though it was some juicy piece of information.

"Excuse me?" I couldn't believe the nerve of this girl.

"Oh come on, everyone knows- at least- we know... He is good at it, isn't he?"

"I don't know what you mean," my throat went dry. "So... did you both..."

"Fuck? Of course. That was years ago though. Then obviously he got 'bored'" she said, air quoting. "He gets bored quickly with everything. Fucking retard." She laughed, a bit bitterly, and looked my way. "But those few months... Once he made me his sub, I don't think I could be anything but a sub. But it's hard to find someone like that! And then I found Benjy. Imagine what I felt when I found out they were cousins. Apples of the same tree right?" she laughed again.

"Benjy doesn't seem like that..."

"Ben's mind is like a fucking laser. Goes all over the place, doesn't cover much, but hot damn once he gets into it..."

"And tonight he's not into it," I said, rolling my eyes internally.

"You get what you can," she said, and suddenly bought her head close to my ear. "I'll tell you a secret," she whispered.

Why was I surrounded by wierdos?

"The whole family is cr-a-zy. I keep telling Beth to come run away with me,"she said, a crazed look coming into her face. Suddenly I felt her feet touch mine. She rubbed it up and down my leg.

"But she says I'll rape her," she giggled, and I pushed her feet away.

"What are you supposed to be though? Is he playing his loli fantasies out on you? Making you wear that little babydoll dress at night, making you wait... I see the way you look at him...You're a real slave for all this, aren't you," she said, smiling at me.

"You're crazy," I hissed, and punched her arm. I got up and snatched my kitten away. The kitten woke up, and smartly ran away to take refuge under the bed.

"Oooh, baby can pack a punch," she said, cradling her arm. "But don't get me wrong honey... Our men aren't here, let's have some fun now, all right?" she got up on her knees, raising her arms open.

"Women do it much better," she said, beckoning me closer.

I walked forwards, and got on the bed, standing on my knees, as she took off her shirt. Her huge breasts hung out perversely, and she stuck out her tongue, bending down and bringing forward a mound to lick her own nipple. She hummed in pleasure, looking at me.

I grabbed her hair and pulled her off the bed.

"The fuck do you think you're doing, slut? I thought you came in here to pleasure me?"

Blood pounded in my ears.

I don't know how I even did what I had done.
But it felt good.

She looked at me, a flash of fear in her eyes.

She had no idea how far I might take this.

I had no idea how far I was going to take this.

I pushed her down, and pressed one foot lightly against her throat.

"Don't think I hadn't noticed," I said softly. "I was just giving you a way out. I don't encourage sluts. But since you insist..." I pressed on the windpipe, and her arms flew up to stop me. I shook her arms off, and bent down to grab her hair again. "Get up, bitch," I whispered in her ear. "Time to do what you came here to do.. Or are you just all talk..."

I turned around to sit on the edge of the bed, and lifted my dress and my legs.

She came, on her knees, and faced my pussy.

"Isn't it pretty? Not a piece of flabby beef like yours, right?" I smiled. "Now lick like your life depends on it.

She moved forward, and I suddenly moved back. "Wait." I commanded. I walked over to the closet, and rummaged through till I got what I was looking for.

"This will have to do," I said, approaching her as I wrapped my hand around Liam's belt.

She looked at it, and her hand flew to her crotch.

Oh, she was a real slave for all this..

I whipped the belt, and it hit her shoulder, coloring it red. She cried out.

"Ah. It's as effective as I thought. Now.." I said, sitting on the edge of the bed again. "You really better lick like your life depended on it, because," I bought my face forward to hers, my eyes wide open in mock innocence, " I might not know when to stop, like your sweet old Liam."

I brushed my lips over her ear, breathing down her neck. She shuddered and I laughed, forcing her head into my crotch.

She was good. She started kissing my outer lips, her nose edging against my clit and her tongue tried to poke it's way around my folds. I buckled up and down against her face, guiding her head. I felt myself get wet, and I kneaded on foot against her fat breast. She moved her hand to touch her pert nipple, but I lashed at her back.

"Did I say you can touch yourself?" I hissed. She moaned, and continued licking. I felt myself cumming harder and she sank her tongue into my cunt, and I pulled her hair harder and faster, almost riding her face.

"Faster, pig," I said, digging my heel into her side. "Your fun bags and pussy doesn't mean shit to me... You're a piece of shit in the end... If I cut and sew those off, what would you have left to pleasure with? Think about it, you fucking bimbo..."

I slapped the belt against her back, just for good measure.

She moaned and went faster, her face becoming red from trying.

Finally I came, and I lay back, on my elbows, as cum dripped from my pussy. I looked at her, as I came down slowly.

There was a wet patch in her shorts. I stood up, looking down at her.

"Oh my, is the little pig wet? Do you want to touch your poor pussy? Or would you like me to fuck it for you?"

She nodded desperately.

"I don't know now," I said, slowly walking around the room. "I don't just fuck anyone's pussy you see. Are you something of mine?"

"Please," she croaked. "I am!"

"Say it then," I said, coldly.

"Master... Please fuck me... Your slave..."

I smiled. "Good... And if you ever forget what I am-" I thrashed the belt across her breasts now, and she cried out.

"Lie on the bed, remove your shorts and close your eyes," I said.

I found an empty bottle on the table. I unscrewed the cap, and got on the bed.

"We have to make do with what we have, you know?" I said, as I parted her pussy lips with my fingers. She was already very wet- I rubbed her clit, and her knees bent in pleasure.

"Don't even think about opening your eyes," I said, as I slid the opening of the bottle into her hole. She gasped.

"What... What is that..."

"Your bimbo brain doesn't have to worry about that," I said, as I slowly slid the bottle in and out.

She moaned loudly, flexing her knees and buckling her hips. I kept a finger on her enlarged nub of nerves. When ever I touched it, it seemed to send a vibration across her body. After a while, I built up to a good speed. She suddenly opened her eyes in a fit of pleasure. Seeing this, I removed the bottle immediately; it made a popping noise as I pulled it out, and Rachel cried out.

"Stupid bitch," I said, moving away a little.

"Master, I was so close! Please master... I'm your good little cum drinker.. Please fuck me with the bottle!"

I looked at the bottle. There was a little pool of her cum juice in the bottle. I had an idea.

"You're lucky I'm feeling lenient today," I said. "Actually, I'm feeling so good-" I spat into the bottle, making sure to fill it with a good amount of spit- then I shoved it into her gaping cunt. I looked at her, and started pumping slowly.

"I'm not gonna stop fucking you till I feel this bottle is full of your cum."

Now I pushed and pulled the bottle hard and fast, as she panted, her breasts jiggling. I edged the bottle in different directions. "Hey, slut, how many cocks have you shoved into this snatch of yours? Because it's just eating the bottle up," I laughed, and spat on her cunt. I removed the bottle now and then, sometimes when she was in the brink of her orgasm, sometimes after it when she had cummed a decent amount.

When the bottle was half full, I looked at it.

"Do you want me to shove it up your ass, or do you want to drink it, slave?"

"I'll drink it, if it pleases you, Master," she replied.

"I think I'll shove it up your ass then," I said, and did just that. She cried out at the sudden invasion. I edged the bottle, but not much seemed to go inside.

I grabbed my phone, and started recording her. With the other hand I bought out the bottle again, and held it up to her face.

"I haven't.. cleaned down there in a while," she muttered.

"Well that's you problem now, you dirty slut," I whispered. "You better drink this or I will skin you."

I handed the bottle to her, and she took it, looking at the opening warily.

"You are a disgusting piece of shit, aren't you?" I asked. She nodded.

"Now look into the camera and tell everyone what you're gonna drink."

"It's my cum mixed with my Master's spit," she said, her hands inching towards her cunt again. "My Master fucked me with this bottle and collected all my pussy juice.. Then she put it up my asshole.. Ugh.."

The humiliation was making her cum even harder than the bottle-fucking. "You can touch yourself, you slimy whore... But you gotta drink that first," I said.

She tripped the bottle to her mouth, and slowly drank the contents, while fingering herself. A trail of liquid fell down from her lips as she finished, as she banged her fingers into her crotch even harder.

"Use the bottle again, sweets" I advised.

She moaned as the girth of the bottle filled her aching pussy, and she buckled on the bottle until she finally orgasmed. She fell against the bed, with the bottle still inside her. I stopped recording.

"Take your little toy with you, and fuck off," I ordered. "And oh, don't take the bottle out. I want Benjy to find you like this... Maybe if he sees he doesn't have to put his cock in your gaping cunt then maybe he'll treat you well."

She got up gingerly from the bed, and left the room. I looked under my bed, and found my kitten curled up in sleep. Gently, I bought her up, and cradled her in my chest as I fell asleep.

Next day, I woke up, to find Liam next to me. I wasn't sure if he had come now or in the middle of the night; I was just glad he was there. I passed a hand over his jaw, rubbing circles into his neck.

"You are a sweet little thing, you know..." he murmured, his eyes still closed. "Didn't know you had it in you though."

I stopped. "What?"

He smiled as he shuffled closer to wrap his arms around me. I leaned in automatically, drawn to his scent, his warmth- him-

"You are a sadistic bitch," he whispered.

"So you found out. Did she tell you?"

"Oh no. But it isn't hard to guess."

"Do you like me now?" I said, suddenly.

He suddenly opened his eyes, and I saw that maniacal gleam..

"I like you even more now!" he whispered.

"I'm not a slave or sub or whatever you want to call it," I said, moving away. "So stop trying to dictate what I can do."

"No, you're not," he replied, bringing me back, spooning me. "But that's not how it works."

"I don't care. I don't want to be- anything- for you."

"You love it."

I became quiet. Because it was the truth.

His fingers slowly drifted away to my crotch, and I felt him press through the fabric.

"I don't want you to take me whenever you like," I stated.

"And I don't give a shit about what you think," his voice grew harsher as he spoke. "This is how WE work, little rabbit. You...exist...and you expect me not to take you? You might as well not ask me breathe." He turned around, then faced me again. "You know, I've been pretty crystal clear about what I want from you, unlike other guys. I'm out here clearly telling you what I want. I need you. Simple." He shook me violently. "Why would you let me die?" he asked.

"You'll throw me away, that's why," I said angrily.

"Maybe I will. But who are you to stop me from getting what I want?"

"Who are you to stop me from getting what I want?" I shot back. He became silent for a while.

"You know who I am," he whispered.

He suddenly pushed himself off the bed, and left the room.

We were sitting out on the deck again, in the warm afternoon sun. Beth and I sat back to back, with my kitten playing in my lap. Rachel sat in front of me in Benjy's lap. She was wearing a skirt, and she hiked it up enough so I could see her panties from where I was sitting. Now and then she would look at me, cross and uncross her legs. Benjy had a hand placed across her chest, but it seemed like it was almost an afterthought. He seemed more interested in talking with Liam, who was lounging on the chair, again.

Poor girl doesn't get any real love, I thought. Well, I can't force it, I shrugged internally.

"I want to test a theory," said Liam suddenly, getting up.

"Ooh, what's that?" asked Beth. He walked over to me, and I felt a shiver go up my spine. What is he going to do...

He reached down, to pat my head, and I saw that glint in his eye again as he reached lower...

"Can kittens swim?" he announced suddenly, and he threw my cat into the lake.

I didn't even think, I just dived from the floor, into the water. I heard shouting, but the screaming in my head was worse, and my heart was in my head as I lashed around the water, looking underwater for what I don't know.

I felt claws sink into my leg, and I grabbed there. I raised my arms and pushed myself back up to the surface. I rose up to see the four at the edge of the water, arms out to grab me. I gave my kitten to Beth, then my hand to Rachel, who looked like she could actually help me out.

"Are you crazy?" asked Beth. "Wicked dive though."

"Is the cat okay?" asked Benjy. He looked angry, but I knew his anger was not directed at me.

I saw the limp ball of fur in Beth's hands, and almost sank to my knees when I noticed she wasn't breathing.

"Hold the head lower,"said Liam from the side. We did so, and the kitten vomited up some water.

Liam came forwards and pressed on the stomach, and it started moving slowly, making soft noises and coughing.

I started crying. Beth had went to get a towel for us, and now I wrapped it around myself and my cat.

"Can I... I want to go upstairs now, please," I said quietly.

"It's all right Kim, everything will be fine," said Benjy, leading me away. "Do what you want."

I went upstairs to my room, and sat on the bed. Now the kitten was moving about, mewling sadly and shivering. I dried her as well as I could, even trying to dry her with a hairdryer. The noise seemed to scare her, so after a while, I stopped, and just held her close to me, nose kissing now and then.

The door opened and Liam entered the room. My kitten mewled loudly and escaped from my hands. I let her go.

Who knows what this monster might do next.

"You'll make the bed wet," he stated, looking at me: I still hadn't changed out of my wet clothes.

"Well that's your problem now, I won't be staying a second longer."

He walked over to me, and reached a hand towards me. I slapped it away. Anger flashed across his face for a second, then he regained his composure.

"You'll catch a cold," he explained.

"Not your problem."

"It is my problem."

"You know what I really have an issue with? You. So if you could go drown yourself in the lake now please, do so." I started rummaging through my bag for clothes.

"You started calling it my kitten," he stated. "It was as if it was yours."

"It is mine," I stressed.

"That's how I feel about you. You gave the cat no choice. Like that, you have no choice. You have to be with me."

I stood still for a moment, looking at him incredulously. I opened my mouth to argue otherwise.

"Don't lie to me," he continued. "You can't, anyways."

"I can't have something for myself? I give my all to you," I said, slowly stepping up to him. "People walk over me, the way you treat me... You make me feel weak. As if I won't find anything other than you. Do you know how that feels?"

"I know exactly how that feels. But it's you who's taking this the wrong way." Now he took a step towards me. "Who's telling you to be weak with anyone else?"

"Oh so it's okay if it's anyone else, but not you..." I replied back. I turned around, wrapping the towel tight her against myself.

"Try me," he said. "Fight me."

"I have."

"Not hard enough."

I whipped around and aimed a punch at his face. He caught it, but then I just pushed my whole body against his, and we fell to the floor. I raked my nails across his neck, elbowing and kneeing my way across his body.

"I hate you!" I screamed. "I wish you were dead, I wish I could kill you!"

He didn't fight back much, but it felt he wasn't trying. That just bothered me more, and I sank my nails into his forearms.

"I will eat you alive," I whispered. I felt, that I honestly meant it.

"I don't doubt it for a second," he replied, unflinching. "I'm sorry."

I sank down on him, then rolled off to sit on the floor.

"I'm sorry," he repeated.

We lay side by side, breathing heavily.

"You know...that first night," I began. "After I passed out... I remember everything now actually...You gave me the most pain I'd ever had in my life.."

"You've had a tiny life, not much to compare against," he interjected.

"Shut up," I replied, but without much venom. "Point is, I let you do so much to me. And I usually don't. I don't let people have their way with me. I can't fight, so I move away so they can't make me. But I stayed for you. I stayed and I endured for you." I stopped talking, because I realized if it took so much explaining for this simple concept...

I didn't want to think he wasn't worth it, although that was probably where it was going...

"You...every word you say, you're so-" he burst out laughing. I didn't know a laugh could sound bitter and incredulous at the same time. He pulled me to my side, so that we were looking at each other.

"I'll do this only once. For you. Memorize every word I'm saying now, so the next time you feel like this, you'll remember why I do what I do."

His hands gripped my shoulders painfully, and he nestled his head against my chest.

Then he told me.

*****

Chapter 1: The Sharpest Lives - My Chemical Romance

Chapter 2: I Can't Wait - Celldweller

Chapter 3: Adrenalize Me - In The Moment

Chapter 4: Vermilion Part 1 - Slipknot

Chapter 5: by In This Moment
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