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The Wheels on the Bus

*Author's Note: Love at first site is rare. So are whirlwind romances. But every now and then the stars all line up and both people somehow 'just know'. This is one of those times.

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"So did you have a good time?" her friend asked.

"It was okay."

"Just okay?"

"Yeah. I mean, it was nothing to write home about, but it was...nice."

"Wow. Try to tamp that enthusiasm down, would you, Jessica?"

"I don't know what else you want me to say, Erica. He's a decent guy, and we had...an okay time."

"Sorry. I just had such high hopes this time. Woody is such a..."

Jessica realized her best friend was about to say 'nice guy' so she started laughing and pointed at her.

"See! Now you understand, right?"

Erica sighed then said, "You're right. He's just...okay. And then there's that name."

Jessica smiled but didn't laugh before saying, "That isn't his fault, you know. Neither is the fact that he's well, just a nice guy."

"Look. I've tried and tried to set you up, but no one's ever good enough for you. I'm not being mean, I'm just telling you the truth."

Jessica smiled then said as nicely as she could, "I think you mean the truth as you see it."

She sighed again then said, "Okay, you're right again. I just love you so much, and you've been so unhappy since Jerry Jerk Wad cheated on you."

Jessica laughed at that name, too, then said, "I love you, too, Erica. And yes, you've been really caring, and I love you even more for that. But it's not that I can't be pleased. It's just that I'd like to meet someone who still believes in old-fashioned romance. I don't want to sit around listening to another boring, middle-aged man telling me all about his job in a way that makes my eyes glaze over. And so far, that's pretty much all they want to talk about."

"But, Jessica. Money is important. It isn't everything, but not having any isn't a lot of fun."

"No. I remember being poor when Jerry and I were first married. And yes, it was hard. Very hard. But it was also the happiest time of our lives, you know? Once he got his first really well-paying job, life became routine. And while it was comfortable, it stopped being fun. Yes, I know, marriage isn't supposed to be all fun all of the time. But if one person stops trying altogether while the other isn't willing to give up, being married isn't very enjoyable."

"No, you're right. And then when the dipstick who isn't trying—at all—cheats on you with some...bimbo..."

"Can we talk about something else?" Jessica said, wanting to talk about almost anything else.

"Oh, sure. Sorry. I promise I'll try and pull back on the matchmaking from now on."

Erica paused then said, "Well, maybe a little."

Jessica laughed knowing her friend really did have her best interests at heart. The men she'd set her up with really were good, decent guys. It was just that there wasn't any chemistry. None. At all. And every relationship needed at least some kind of chemical reaction to get it going.

Jessica knew she was quite possibly too romantic for anyone, but that's how she was, and at 39 that wasn't likely going to change. In all fairness, she was as giving as she was 'needy', though, so any guy who also valued romance, and yes, intimacy, would get at least as much as he gave, and most likely a whole lot more in return.

Jessica was, by her very nature, a giver, and giving made her happy. But unless she also received, it was extremely difficult to endlessly give and give to someone who could endlessly take without even feeling, let alone showing, any gratitude. Someone like...Jerry Jerk Wad, the man she'd been married to for almost 15 years. Fifteen long, unromantic, childless years.

So while these half dozen or so friends of Erica's hadn't panned out, she had to believe there were still a few guys out there who saw life and love the way she did. With her 40th birthday just around the corner, it wasn't as though she had to find someone in the next six months or she never would. But at her age, it was a lot harder to keep hoping she might, and as one guy after another she went out with seemed to live for work and his career, even she found it a real challenge to remain optimistic.

"So...how's your new job going?" Erica asked, hoping that would be an innocent enough topic.

"Oh. Yeah, well, it doesn't pay a lot, but I love being out of the house and around people again. All in all, it's been really good for me. I wouldn't want to work there longterm, but for now, it's not too bad."

"I'm so glad to hear you say that. Not to get back on money or...him...again, but you spent a lot of years at home so I was hoping getting back in the swing of things wouldn't be too difficult."

"You're spot on, girlfriend. I had a life of leisure with all kinds of money and a great house. Pretty clothes. Spa days. Nice car."

"And no sex."

Jessica tried not to laugh but couldn't help it.

"Exactly. And not just 'no sex' but no romance. Talk about living in the desert!"

"I'm so sorry, hon. I can't imagine going more than a few days without...you know..."

Jessica sighed loudly then said, "I remember those days."

She paused then added, "Vaguely."

"Did you ever wonder if Jerry was gay or having an affair before you found out about Babe the Bimbo?"

Erica was so funny when it came to throwing around monikers. Jessica laughed again then answered her question.

"No. I just assumed work was the be-all, end-all for him, you know? And as much as the affair hurt me, I will give him credit for being very good at his job."

"That part is true for sure, but you guys even pretty much stopped talking a few months before he, you know...right?" Erica asked even though she knew the answer.

"Sadly, yes. Our conversations turned into cryptic messages like, 'Is my blue suit ready?' or 'Do you want chicken or fish for dinner?' And the replies were equally short and void of love or any emotion for that matter."

"Again, I really don't know what to say. I love that Robert and I still talk and share and do romantic..."

Erica stopped and apologized again for pouring salt into the wound.

"No. Don't apologize," Jessica said. "I'll admit I'm envious of what you guys have, but there's no need to feel bad because my husband was a jerk...wad."

She smiled at her best friend then told her, "I'm just so glad to have you in my life, and for your willingness to listen to me vent and whine and cry about my romantic woes or rather the lack thereof."

Erica laughed then said, "Hey, I'm glad to be here for you. I'm not the world's best listener, but I do try. I mean, not every woman is a great listener by any stretch. Conversely, not all men are lousy listeners, but so many of them only pretend to listen just so they can have a chance to talk."

"I know! They're not actually listening. They're just politely biding their time until they can say, 'Yeah, that reminds of something I once did' so they can talk about themselves again. That drives me batty!"

Erica laughed again then said, "Hey, I thought you didn't want to talk about that anymore?"

"I don't. It just kind of came out," Jessica said without sounding defensive.

"Could it because you're a lot more lonely than you let on? It's been over a year now, and you still haven't really dated anyone. I know we don't need a man to be happy, but living alone is pretty..."

"Sucky?" Jessica offered.

"Okay. Sucky works."

"Speaking of work, I've got to run some errands so I can be ready to go to work tomorrow."

"Oh, right. Another manic Monday!" Erica said referring to the song by the Bangles from back in the day. "I need to get home myself anyway."

Jessica didn't smile and Erica knew it was because she secretly (or not so secretly) envied her long-time friend who'd married her best friend soon after Jessica had tied the know with Jerry J. Wad. They also had two children, something else Jessica very much wanted but now often wondered if she'd ever have. Oh, and they still had really good, steamy sex now and then and the plain old vanilla kind every few days while Jessica had, well—a vibrator.

"Tell Robert hello for me, okay?"

"I will. And don't let this get you down. Your guy is out there. Just keep looking, and don't be afraid to look outside of your comfort zone, okay? There could be a bricklayer or a cab driver or even a penniless poet out there just waiting to find someone like you."

"Okay. I'll try and keep a stiff upper lip, old chap," Jessica told her in her best British improv which was actually pretty good.

"Love you!" Erica said as she hugged her friend goodbye.

"I love you, too, girl," Jessica told her, aware of just how thankful she was to have such a good friend for so many years.

As part of the divorce settlement, Jessica used the money from the sale of their home to buy the condo she lived in, and she kept the nicer of their two cars. However, living in the Seattle metro area meant busses were always running, and while it wasn't as convenient as driving, it was a lot less frustrating as traffic had gotten so awful the last ten years or so that driving in the city was no longer any fun. In fact, it was often so frustrating that by the time she got home she had a headache. By taking the bus, she could read a book or listen to music and let the driver deal with the endless stop-and-go traffic and all the angry drivers honking their horns and cutting (and flipping) people off to save a couple of seconds.

And that's when she remembered that as of tomorrow, the 29 bus no longer went to the University District where she worked. She'd need to take the 504 then transfer to the 29 a few miles from campus. The good news was she could still use the bus stop that was maybe 50 feet from the front door of her upscale, downtown condo.

The metro bus system wasn't perfect, but it was almost always on time. Jessica knew she couldn't wait until the last minute, but she also didn't have to be outside in the cold ten minutes beforehand, as the bus wouldn't leave ahead of schedule even if it arrived a few minutes early.

So the next morning, five minutes before the 509 was due, she locked her door and walked the few steps to the covered area and took a seat. Then right on time, her new bus pulled up. Jessica waited for an older woman to go ahead of her then got on and showed her annual pass to the driver. He nodded as she turned to look for a seat. The bus was nearly empty so she many choices and settled for the one with the extra leg room near the exit-only door in the middle of the bus.

Jessica pulled her iPod out and turned it on then sat back to enjoy the ride. Another older woman who reminded her of her grandmother got on at the next stop and asked if she could sit next to her even though there were empty seats all around them.

"Of course," Jessica said after pulling out an ear bud to make sure she heard the woman.

She didn't mind talking but wasn't really in the mood today, and thankfully, the woman pulled out a book and didn't say another word.

Jessica nearly didn't look up at the next stop, but she did glance at the three or four passengers who boarded, and then did a double take as she couldn't help but notice one of them. He was a very attractive, younger man with sandy blond hair and a very nice smile. She knew that because as soon as he turned toward her, they made eye contact immediately, and when the did, he smiled at her. Or at least she assumed he was smiling at her. She slowly turned to look behind her to see if someone else was the recipient of his smile, but there was no one there.

His smile caught her off guard and that, plus the fact that he was as good a looking guy as she'd seen in a very long time, flustered her to the point where she just looked down. He neither looked over nor spoke as he passed by, and Jessica was grateful to be able to close her eyes and pretend she was listening to music.

She actually was listening to music, but she had no idea what was playing for another minute or so as that amazing smile of his seemed to somehow 'haunt' her. He was clearly under 30 and although she couldn't be sure, he might possibly be as young as 21, but was more likely somewhere in between. Either way, he was just so...yummy-looking...it had really caused her body to react in a way it hadn't for quite some time.

"I have got to find a boyfriend," she said to herself before finally mostly forgetting his face and even that amazing smile.

When she boarded the 509 the next day, Jessica had been so wrapped up in the warehouse's annual inventory where she worked, she hadn't so much as thought about 'smile guy'. She took the same seat, and just as the day before, a few minutes later the same older lady got on at the next stop and sat next to her.

Tired of thinking about SKUs and item numbers and quantities, Jessica felt like talking, and once the woman was seated said very cheerfully, "Good morning! We sat next to each other yesterday, right?"

"Oh. Why yes we did," the smaller, much-older woman said with a smile. "I remember you because you're so pretty."

Jessica tilted her head, made a kind of snorting sound, then said, "Ha! Pretty. That's funny!"

The woman didn't laugh. She just said very sincerely, "Well, yes. It's true. You're so young and thin and yes, you are pretty."

"Ahh! You just made my day!" Jessica told her before introducing herself.

She was mostly being modest as Jessica knew that for someone about to turn 40 she really did still look good. Very good, in fact. She'd never say it out loud, but enough other people still said it regularly enough that she knew it was true.

She wasn't 'thin' in the anorexic sense of the word. Her body was just very fit and well toned. And yes, her face was still considered very attractive—at least according to the handful of men she'd dated since being jilted.

Because she was now 'back on the market', a term she hated, Jessica always tried to make sure she looked her best just in case one of those guys Erica kept assuring her were out there really was. Today was no exception, and her hair and makeup were done quite nicely.

The sweet lady smiled politely then told Jessica, "My name is Harriet. You know, like Ozzie and Harriet. The TV show from the 1950s.That was well before your time, though, I'm afraid."

"Yes, but I have seen a few episodes. My grandmother used to watch reruns all the time when I was..."

The bus began slowing down, and Jessica looked outside and saw him waiting to board. She stopped talking all of a sudden and didn't say another word. And, as if on cue, he turned, spotted her immediately, and smiled.

Harriet saw her turn quickly and look out the window and asked, "Is everything okay, dear?"

Without looking at her Jessica replied, "Oh. Yes. I...I just saw someone I thought I recognized walk by. That's all."

She felt terrible for lying, but she wasn't about to say that the guy who'd just gotten on the bus, and who was probably at least 15 years younger than her, had again made her body feel something she longed to feel.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw him walk by Harriet then sit in the seat directly behind her. Other than the smile there was no other attempt at communicating with her, but Jessica was still very aware of his presence.

"You were telling me about your grandmother," Harriet reminded her.

"Yes. Sorry. Right," Jessica replied as she turned slightly toward Harriet and cut her eyes as hard as she could to get a glimpse of 'smile guy'. "She used to watch Ozzie and Harriet. I always thought Ricky was so cute."

"Oh, he certainly was! Poor boy died in a plane crash. Such a tragedy! And so young. Just like you."

Harriet touched her arm then said, "Not the plane crash part, though. God forbid."

"Again, you made my day, Harriet. I'm turning 40 next Tuesday, and I don't feel young...or all that pretty anymore," Jessica said quietly as she fought the urge to glance over her left shoulder.

It was so ridiculous because, unlike her, 'smile guy' really was young. Very young. But Jessica hadn't exactly had much in the way of male attention lately. At least not in the way she so desperately desired, and he really was very cute—young or not.

"Well, this is my stop, dear," Harriet said. "I volunteer at the shelter as often as I can. That keeps me young!"

Jessica guessed her to be in her late 70s, and she was a very sweet woman who'd been kind to her.

"I'm so glad we talked today," Jessica told her as the bus pulled to a stop.

"Yes. I hope we can do it again some time," Harriet said as she stood up and held the rail.

"Have a nice day!" Jessica said.

"I will, dear, and you do the same," she said as she began moving down the steps to exit the bus.

When she was directly in front of Jessica she said, "And I meant what I said. You're a very pretty young woman."

Jessica smiled and waved as Harriet walked away, and again, for a few moments, forgot all about the attractive, younger man behind her.

Three stops later, he got up, walked down into the exit well and held the same rail Harriet had used which put them less than three feet away from each other. When he stepped into the stairwell, Jessica could see his profile quite clearly even though she only casually glanced up. In less than a second, she realized he was even better looking than she'd thought. She saw he had the cutest dimples and...and then her body did that thing again.

She quickly looked down just as he turned toward her while the bus was pulling over to the curb. She tried not to look back, but her eyes betrayed her, and when she did, he smiled at her again.

She looked away so fast she felt like she was on a yellow school bus and back in junior high when she heard him quietly say, "She's right, you know."

Not sure he was talking to her, Jessica barely turned her head back toward him. When she saw him still smiling at her, she heard herself say, "What?"

"The nice lady sitting next to you. She was right."

The front door was opening and 'smile guy' turned and walked away without saying another word. As the bus pulled away, Jessica couldn't help herself and she looked back at him through the window, and this time he smiled and kind of waved. He'd never really taken his eyes off of her, and again, just like she'd done back in junior high, she quickly looked away then felt foolish to the point of ridiculous.

For the rest of that week, and on the following Monday morning, 'smile guy' induced the same 'tingling' feelings she'd gotten that first time when he looked right at her and smiled. Other than that one very brief exchange, they hadn't communicated at all since.

However, on that Monday morning, Harriet sat next to Jessica again, and this time they talked about Harriet's late husband, Herb, and that led to Jessica sharing a bit of information about how her husband had betrayed her.

"Oh, my. I'm so sorry," Harriet told her. "My Herb was such a kind, sweet, romantic gentleman. You know, we always held hands right up until he passed away. He would often leave me little love notes or buy me flowers for no reason. I got my last one the morning he died. He left it for me by the toaster, then went out to check the mail. When he came back in, I heard him sit down in his favorite chair, and then there was this loud whooshing, exhaling sound. Almost immediately, I heard him fall to the floor. And just like that...he was gone."

Jessica was listening intently, and her heart went out to this dear, sweet woman who'd had the life she wished she could have.

"I'm so sorry, Harriet. What you had is all I want," Jessica said. "I don't need money or things. Just a man who loves me and who believes in romance and isn't ashamed to show it. That's not asking too much, is it?"

The bus was pulling up to her stop when Harriet said, "No. I certainly don't think that's unreasonable. In fact, I can't imagine a marriage being much more than a business contract without it."
She stood up then said, "Oh. I remember you saying tomorrow is your birthday, so in case I'm not here to wish you happy birthday, I'll do that now."

Jessica thanked her just as the door opened, and Harriet said, "Use your birthday wish wisely, dear!"

She smiled then said, "Sometimes they do come true!"

"You are just the sweetest thing ever!" Jessica said sincerely. "And thank you for the birthday wishes!"

Harriet smiled then carefully made her way down the steps leaving Jessica sitting there feeling both happy and sad because of the things Harriet had just said. It was reassuring to hear another person tell her it wasn't too late—that there was still hope—but it was very frustrating to think she was turning forty and still hadn't ever had that kind of love in her life.

"Forty," she said to herself. "The big four-oh. Four zero. Four zip. Four zilch. No longer thirty-something."

And with that she felt even worse until 'smile guy', who was again sitting right behind Harriet that morning, got up then stood in front of her again in the stairwell.

Jessica was unaware she was staring at him when he turned toward her and smiled.

She went to look away again, but this time she managed to hold his gaze.

"She's a very smart lady," he said.

"Harriet?" Jessica asked, her heart beating fast, something that surprised her greatly.

"Is that her name?" he said as the bus pulled over.

"Yes. Harriet. As in Ozzie and Harriet," Jessica said, managing a smile of her own.

"Well, she's very wise and very correct."

"About?"

"Wishes," he said with a smile. "Sometimes they do come true."

"Oh. Right. Well, sometimes anyway," Jessica replied.

"I'm Garrett," he said, still smiling.

"Oh. Hi. I'm...I'm Jessica," she told him.

"Well, this is my stop so...happy early birthday wishes, Jessica."

She said 'thank you' as he was stepping off the bus, and this time when he smiled and waved, she did so back and didn't turn away. She not only kept looking, she realized she was getting wet in that one special place that had been bone dry for a such a very long time.

"Ha! 'Bone dry' as in 'bone' or 'boned'. Now that's funny," she said to herself knowing there hadn't been anything close to a bone 'down there' in...how many months? She didn't want to think about that, and rather chose to focus on that amazing smile from the cute guy she now knew was named Garrett.

Her daydreams ended at the warehouse door. Inventory was killing her. All day long it was counting and annotating. She was up and down ladders checking for exact numbers of items on hand then moving to the next bay and doing the same thing. The good news was, this was the last day of inventory, and with any luck, she'd find a better job long before this time next year. Working in a warehouse wasn't awful, and most of the time she was at a desk doing paperwork, but when inventory rolled around, everyone, to include supervisors, were out doing 'bean counting'.

By the end of the day, Jessica was beat, and all she wanted to do was close her eyes on the bus ride home. Within moments after sitting down and closing her tired eyes, her mind relaxed, and the first thought she had was of Garrett and that amazing smile—and those dimples. Her next thought was how he'd been so thoughtful to have wished her a happy birthday. Had it been someone else, Jessica might have been annoyed that he'd been listening in, but that never even crossed her mind before she allowed herself a third thought; one she would never share with anyone except for maybe Erica. Maybe.

Jessica knew Erica had something planned for her on Tuesday evening after she called and asked if Jessica could maybe stop by for a drink 'or something' around seven o'clock. She'd been so upset at turning...forty...for weeks that she found herself surprised the next morning, her 40th birthday, when she was in a particularly good mood as she got on the bus.

Harriet didn't get on, and although Jessica knew she didn't go to the shelter every day, she still hoped she was okay. And yet she was almost happy no one had sat down beside her when the bus pulled up to Garrett's stop. She'd set her purse in the seat hoping to deter other riders from sitting there while she waited for him to get on.

She saw him standing there waiting for the bus in the same place he waited every day, and her heart skipped a beat when he got on and smiled at her. It skipped another when he walked directly up to her and pointed to the empty seat and said, "Do you mind?"

"No. Not at all...Garrett," she told him as she smiled back.

She'd moved her purse just as he walked up in hopeful anticipation, and Garrett set his backpack down between his feet then plopped down next to her then said, "Well. Happy birthday, Jessica."

"Thank you!" she replied cheerfully. "I was going to say something like, 'Why did you have to go and remind me', but I'm suddenly feeling a little more okay about it for some reason."

"You should," he told her. "Forty is still very young, and in your case, Harriet was right. You're a very beautiful woman."

Jessica was pretty sure she didn't blush, but between him sitting right next to her and then saying something so nice to her, she wasn't sure she hadn't.

"That's very sweet of you to say," Jessica told him.

"Sweet...or not...it's true," he said as he looked right at her.

Jessica looked at his bag then asked, "Are you a student at the U-Dub?" which was local-speak for The University of Washington.

"Well, kind of," he told her. "I'm finishing up the requirements for the School of Pharmacy in May, so yes, I'm still technically a student. Just not an undergrad."

"Oh. Wow. Pharmacy. That's very impressive," Jessica said.

"I've always been good at math and science, but work will never be my life. I just want to have enough money to be able to enjoy it," he told her.

"Well, you picked a very good profession for that," she said. "Pharmacists are always in demand everywhere."

He smiled then said, "We all need to do something, and so far, at least, I really like pharmacy. I just don't want work to become my life. My real dream in life is to find someone who's a hopeless romantic like myself. It's proven to be a real challenge so far, but I'm an optimist, and one of these days I am gonna find her."

Too stunned by his comment to reply, Jessica could only listen as Garrett said while still smiling, "And when I do, I'm not gonna let her get away."

They were fast approaching his stop, and again, before Jessica could respond, he reached for his bag and said, "Oh. I uh, I got you a card."

It was in the outer pocket and with a quick zip he pulled it out and handed it to her.

"I know we don't really even know each other, but that doesn't mean I can't do something nice on your birthday, right?"

He held it out for her, and she saw her name very neatly calligraphed on the outside.

"Go ahead. It's for you," he said as he kind of pushed it further her way.

"Well...okay," she said as she took it. "I...I don't really even know what to say. This is also very sweet of you."

He stood up, grabbed his bag, slung it over his shoulder then said with that killer smile of his, "A simple 'thank you' will do."

Before she could thank him, he smiled again then added, "Oh, there is one other thing. I'd love to see that beautiful smile of yours one more time before I get off."

Jessica had never been so flustered in her adult life. She wanted to speak but couldn't. She wanted to smile but instead felt herself tearing up. This very handsome near-stranger had just given her a birthday card, and said some of the nicest things she'd heard in a very long time.

He noticed, smiled again then said, "If those are tears of joy, I can live with that. But if I just hurt you, I don't think I'd be able to stand it," as the bus pulled up to the curb.

Jessica used the sleeve of her coat to gently dab her eyes then said, "No. You...you didn't hurt me at all. And yes. Yes, they are tears of joy. And...thank you, Garrett. This is may be the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me."

She managed a smile and got one from him in return.

"Now that's more like it!" he said just before jumping off. "Happy, birthday, Jessica!"

The way he smiled at her and waved after he got off this time was different. Jessica couldn't explain how or why, but she knew it was.

Once he was out of sight, a part of her wanted to tear open the card and read it while another part of her wanted to want until the evening when she could savor it when she was alone.

Even if it only said, 'Happy birthday' with his name below it, that would be wonderful. But what if he'd taken the time to write something? What would it say, and how would it make her feel?

Unable to wait, she slid a nail underneath the flap and carefully opened it.

The card itself was simple but beautiful as it wished her the happiest of birthdays. She closed her eyes before opening it, and when she did she saw more of that beautiful calligraphy written in very small, very legible letters. Before that were some words written in his regular handwriting. It was only a few lines, but what he wrote moved her to tears:

"I wasn't trying to eavesdrop, but I was sitting close enough behind you that I heard you tell Harriet you'd been betrayed. I'm so sorry that happened to you, Jessica. I can't imagine what kind of man could do that to such a kind, sweet, beautiful woman, but it hurt me deeply to think that happened to you. Words may not solve anything, but as the song says, words are all I have, and so..."

Below it, there was a short, kind of corny-but-sweet poem:

Starting over is never fun,

But with patience and time,

A new heart can be won.

With a little rain and a few rays of sun,

The pain fades away and life becomes fun.

Just be yourself as that's more than enough,

To find true love rather than money or stuff.

Finally, she read:

"I'm obviously not a poet, but that doesn't make the words any less heartfelt. Happy birthday, Jessica!

Your friend, G."

The words were suddenly too blurry to read, and that's when Jessica realized she was crying. She wasn't falling apart or anything dramatic, she was just sitting there and letting the tears fall as his words wormed their way into her heart.

"Why couldn't Jerry ever do something like this?" she thought rhetorically to herself as she finally opened her purse to grab a tissue.

She was pretty sure her mascara was a mess, but she didn't care about. She could fix it at work. For now, all that mattered were those words and his unforgettable smile.

It wasn't until she was in the bathroom at work touching up the mess that she realized that no matter how sweet or romantic his words were, nothing was ever going to come of it. He was young and gorgeous and would soon be a respected professional while she was...forty...and divorced and...worked in a warehouse.

As she finished the retouch, Jessica wondered what was worse—being in her current situation or feeling sorry for herself that she was? Blaming Jerry was easy. And yes, he was the reason she was in this situation. But staying there wasn't his fault. Changing it was her responsibility.

So if this very sweet, very romantic card from Garrett was nothing but words, perhaps that wasn't a bad thing, if those words spurred her on to finally doing something positive to bring about the kind of change she so dearly needed and wanted. For now, she had to go start work, but she hoped to share this with Erica later that night, and perhaps the two of them could come up with some kind of new strategy for finding her fellow hopeless-romantic soul mate.

"Yeah, right," Jessica said out loud as she took a final look at her face and her eyes.

After such a positive start, the day dragged on endlessly as Jessica processed orders and sent out requisitions for new supplies. When five o'clock finally rolled around, she was even more exhausted than she'd been doing inventory, and yet she knew it wasn't because she'd done any real work. She was having a kind of pity-party for herself, and now she had to face the almost certain non-surprise of Erica's surprise birthday party for her.

"Oh, goody," she said to herself as she boarded the bus to head home.

Erica called again around six o'clock to make sure she was 'stopping by around seven' and Jessica dutifully told her she'd be there, even though she was in no mood to celebrate, Garrett's thoughtful words aside. They'd briefly given her hope; they just hadn't made her feel any better after the brief high that came from reading them. And because he was so young, they may have made her feel even worse. Were he even just a few years older then maybe, just maybe...

While Jessica didn't know exactly how old someone had to be to become a pharmacist, she assumed it wouldn't be more than maybe 26 or 27. So while he wasn't absurdly young like 21, he was still way too young for a woman her age as she wasn't 26 or 27 or even 36 or 37. She was...

This time, she couldn't even think the word let alone say it, even to herself. Instead, she sighed loudly then went to her bedroom and tried decide what to wear before heading over to her best friend's house.

Just as she thought, Erica had a small group of their closest friends waiting to holler, "Surprise!" when she walked in. Knowing it was coming didn't make it any easier to feign being surprised, but Jessica did her best to pretend she was.

"You guys!" she said as she forced a big smile. "I had no idea!"

"Well, come on in and let's get you a glass of champagne, shall we, Birthday Girl?" Erica said with way too much enthusiasm.

Mercifully, by 9 pm, everyone had gone home, and Erica finally had a chance to talk with her friend alone.

"Okay, girl. What in the world is bothering you so much?" she asked. "No one else even had an inkling, but I know you too well. So...what's going on?"

Jessica had to turn away because she felt tears coming yet again. She hated being so emotional, and yet she couldn't control it, and tears began falling.

"Oh! Come here, honey!" Erica said as she realized what was going on and put her arms around her best friend. "Hey, it's okay! Cry it out and then we'll talk."

Jessica knew she could cry in front of Erica and cry she did. She cried then sobbed then cried some more before finally getting a handle on it.

"Let me go wash up, okay?" Jessica said when she could finally talk. She was grateful that Erica's husband had gone upstairs when everyone else left. At least he hadn't seen her turn into a complete basket case.

Erica was waiting for her when she came back and said, "So what's going on, sweetie? Is it turning 40?"

"No," Jessica said. "Well, maybe. I...I don't know."

"Let's see if we can figure it out together then, shall we?"

Erica asked a question her and there as Jessica talked and choked back tears as she tried to explain how she was feeling due to the betrayal, her age, and this overall feeling of hopelessness.

"And then I got this...this card...from this guy on the bus I ride," Jessica said.

"Wait. From...'smile guy'?" Erica asked. Jessica had very briefly mentioned him once, and Erica knew he was both very good looking and very young, so she'd never given it any real thought.

"Yes. Smile guy. His name is Garrett, and he's finishing up the pharmacy program at the U-dub in a few months."

"Okay. And...?" Erica asked wanting details.

"I...I brought the card with me," Jessica said. "Maybe it would be easier if you just read it."

Erica knew it was in her friend's purse so she opened it up and saw it immediately.

"Go ahead," Jessica said when her friend looked at her. She watched Erica's eyes scanning the words.

When she finished, Erica said, "Oh, honey! Now I get it," even though she wasn't exactly sure what was going on.

Rather than admit that, Erica said, "So...how does this make you feel?" hoping Jessica would open up and tell her. Well, if she even knew how she felt, that is.

"Confused maybe?" Jessica said. "Or...sad?"

"Confused how? And why sad?"

"Oh, I don't know. I mean, Garrett is ridiculously young, but he really is ridiculously cute, too. He said he's looking for a fellow hopeless romantic, and then he does this. So because I know he can't be my 'hopeless romantic', I guess maybe I feel...cheated."

"Cheated. How so?" Erica asked, hoping to get Jessica to keep peeling the proverbial onion back.

"Well, it feels like I'm...this close, you know?" she said showing Erica a 'this close' gesture using her thumb and index finger. "It's like the universe is toying with me or something. It knows what I want, then it sends me this guy it knows I can't have—and who'd never want someone my age, anyway—just to taunt me."

Now finally understanding, Erica could honestly say, "Okay. Well, that makes sense."

Jessica was now on a roll and kept going.

"Intellectually, I know he's just a nice guy who rides the same bus, but emotionally, it stirs up all this...baggage or 'unfulfilled longing' or something," Jessica said trying to work through what she was feeling.

"His poem was a little on the um...amateurish side...but it was very sweet," Erica offered.

"I know, right? Sweet and romantic. I mean, why can't some decent, nice-looking guy our age be like that? Why is it men want to talk about stock options and compensation packages rather than love and..."

Jessica stopped talking because she knew the answer. Life was complicated. Most men, and many women, needed to work. Jobs took up most of their time and energy leaving very little for the things Jessica still dreamed about. So it made sense a lot of men would be proud of what they do and want to talk about it. And yet knowing that did nothing to make the things she was wanted go away. She knew all that, yet she still wanted what she wanted.

"Am I being unrealistic?" Jessica asked.

"That's not for me to decide, hon," Erica told her. "Each of us has wants and needs, and getting them met is what love is all about."

"I guess I never really thought of it that way," Jessica replied.

"It's just my opinion, but to me, when we say we love someone, we're really saying we think that person will meet our needs. We don't literally say it, of course, but the brain is taking all of our wants and needs into account when we consider marrying someone. We tend to mask the details with flowery-sounding language about how attractive or funny or nice they are, but what we really mean is, 'I think he'll make me happy'."

"And by 'happy' we mean getting our needs met," Jessica said, filling in the blanks.

"Basically, yes. We're thinking he'll be a good dad, a decent provider, a best friend, a passionate lover, and a bunch of other things all rolled into one. You just happen to need your guy to be more romantic than most. So...is that unrealistic? I don't think so. But let's be honest. Every time we add in something else we want, we narrow the number of guys left in the pool to search from."

Jessica sat there thinking for a few moments then said, "That really makes sense."

"Well, thank you!" Erica told her. "I know it maybe sounds kind of clinical, but I think it's pretty accurate."

"No, it seems about right. One woman may value a guy who makes a lot of money who can provide for her and their children and not have much interest in the kind of romance I want. Or maybe another wants children above all else so having a lot of money might be important, and yet she may not need or want a lot of romance."

"Right! It's about tradeoffs," Erica added. "We all have needs and we all prioritize them, even if we're not aware that we do. Then, as we look around at the guys we come in contact with, we subconsciously evaluate them to see how well they stack up against our 'list'. So if your handsome poet looked just like he looks but was a...Jerk...the looks wouldn't be enough—even if he was romantic and had tons of money."
"Yeah, it's a kind of balancing act, huh?" Jessica suggested.

"I think that's fair," Erica told her. "So the question becomes, how do you find your romantic man who at least satisfies your other, lower priorities?"

"I hope that's a rhetorical question."

Erica smiled and even laughed briefly before saying, "I suppose it is, but let's make it more real, shall we?"

"And just how do you propose we do that?" Jessica asked.

"Well, let's start by me asking you if the age difference is really insurmountable or even that big a deal. If it is, nothing else matters and you move on."

"For me or for Garrett?" Jessica asked as though Erica would know the answer.

"You tell me. Is that important to you? Yes or no? Let's say he didn't care at all. How much would it bother you?"

"Well, for starters I really don't know anything about him other than what I've shared, so how can I answer that?"

Erica smiled and said, "By assuming you already know a lot more and like nearly all of what you see. In that case, would his age alone be enough to keep you from falling in love with him?"

"Oh, wow. Um...gee, I don't know, but I don't think so."

"Other than me, would you be self-conscious to be seen with him or tell other people he's your boyfriend?" Erica asked.

"No. Not if I loved him."

"And we're assuming you would, because you like everything else about him. The only question is his age, and I believe you just answered that."

"Okay, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't have a problem with my age," Jessica said, showing that she was missing the point.

"Ah, but that's the next question," Erica informed her. "First, you have to know whether or not it would bother you before even thinking about anything else. If it doesn't, then you can move on to finding out how he feels."

"And how do I go about doing that?" Jessica asked.

"By letting him know you're interested, of course," Erica said trying not to sound pedantic. It all seemed so obvious to her, so she was trying not to get frustrated with her best friend for not seeing things as clearly and as quickly as she saw it.

"I don't even know if he's seeing someone," Jessica said.

"Jessica. That doesn't matter. Unless he's married, it's okay to flirt and show him you'd like to get to know him better. He'll make it clear whether or not he's interested back. It's no different than if he was closer to our age."

"I just feel like it's a waste of time and effort because he's so cute and so young that he'd never want to spend his time with someone my age."

"Maybe. Maybe not. All that matters is whether or not he wants to spend time with you. Not someone our age but with you."

For the first time since they started talking Jessica felt hopeful again.

"Any ideas on how to get things started, Dr. Phil?" she asked Erica.

Her friend laughed and winced at the comparison.

"Hmmm. Well, he's training to be a pharmacist, right? Maybe you could find some way to tie that into some little romantic thank-you involving that. You know, like this card with the poem he gave you on your birthday."

"Hey, that's a great idea!" Jessica said.

"It doesn't have to be spectacular. Just something that ties your interest to him with his future job to let him know you liked the card and more importantly, the romantic gesture."

"And if I get shot down, at least I tried, right?" Jessica said, mostly for her own benefit.

"That's the spirit!" Erica said. "If you don't try, you'll never find out, so the question becomes, 'Can you afford not to find out'?"

"If he doesn't have any interest in me, it'll not only hurt, it'll make riding the bus very...uncomfortable from then on."

"Jessica? One way or the other, the wheels on the bus are gonna go 'round and 'round whether you find out or not. That's just how life works. And no matter how he reacts, they'll keep going 'round and 'round day in and day out. So I say give it your best shot. Find out. Nothing ventured nothing gained, right?"

"Yeah. That's so true. And how does that go? You know, the saying about it being better to have loved and lost than never having loved?"

Erica laughed then gave her the name.

"Alfred Lord Tennyson."

"Really? It thought it was Wadsworth or Longfellow. Are you sure?" Jessica asked.

"Um...pretty much," Erica, who'd majored in literature in college, told her.

"Okay. I'll take your word for it."

"And you're taking my advice, right?" her friend said with a smile.

Jessica smiled back and said, "Yes. Yes, I am."

Erica hugged her and as she did, Jessica said, "Best birthday ever!"

"Life is short. Too short to worry about negative things. There's plenty of them along the way, so sometimes we have create a few positives," Erica told her.

"What would I do without you?" Jessica said when the hug ended.

"Oh, don't even think about that," Erica said very seriously. "Yeah, life without me would be..."

"Awful," Jessica said sincerely, before telling Erica, "I love you so much."

"Back atcha, girl. Now go do some finding out! And...happy birthday!"

Jessica couldn't relax when she went home. She was determined to find some way of letting Garrett know how much his words had meant to her without going way over the top and scaring him off.

She started by searching phrases like 'romantic thank you for him', but all of them involved being in love. So she changed the search to 'sweet thank you notes for him' and found more of the same. After searching for well over an hour, she finally found one that seemed to say it all.

It said very simply, "Thank you for reminding me what butterflies feel like."

She thought about modifying it and adding something like, "At 40", but nothing else made it sound any better.

She then found a card-making app and dowloaded it. From there, all she had to do was add in the text, then play with the font and add in her desired background decorations. Hearts seemed inappropriate, but maybe just one small one with some pretty stars would convey the right message she was trying to send.

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained," she out loud to herself as she hit 'save' and then 'print'.

She let it dry while she found an envelope then did her best to write his name on it the way he had when she realized she didn't know how he spelled it. He'd only signed his name with a capital 'G' so she did what every 'expert' did and Googled it.

A quick search gave her several options to include: Garet, Garret, Garett, and the one she'd assumed was correct—Garrett.

Rather than risk misspelling it, she chose to write 'Thank You!" instead of his name. Thank-you notes for any gift, even a card, were always appropriate, and this way she wouldn't blow it right off the bat by incorrectly assuming either how he spelled his name or that he had any kind of feelings for her.

As she put the 'card' inside an envelope, Jessica felt somewhere between silly and downright foolish again before remembering that she had to risk being rejected to find out if Gar...however he spelled his name...might be her Mr. Romantic in spite of his age. Or would that be in spite of...her age?

She slept fitfully that night and that, too, made her feel like she was back in junior high having asked her best friend to tell his best friend she liked him then waiting for the response. Or maybe it was more like handing him a note that asked him to check, 'yes', 'no', or 'maybe' in answer to the question, 'Do you like me?'

"Why does it have to be so hard?" she asked herself as she finished getting dressed and doing her hair and makeup the following morning.

She wished it wasn't so cold so she didn't have to wear a coat, and yet if he was really a romantic guy, she knew it wouldn't matter. Why then was she obsessing about what to wear for a short bus ride to work?

In the end, she decided to focus on her hair and makeup knowing that whatever she wore would be hidden anyway. After blow drying her hair she added in a soft curl near the bottom so it turned under just as it hit her shoulders. Her makeup looked as good as it ever had, and that would have to be good enough.

As she dropped the card in her purse, she realized she really was having butterflies, but not the romantic kind. These were the nervous variety. So much so she couldn't stand the thought of eating anything. She had a small cup of coffee then brushed her teeth, and touched up her lipstick which was more a shiny gloss than an actual color.

"Okay. Here goes nothing," she said as she opened the front door and stepped out onto the street.

Jessica was straining to see faces at each bus stop as though he might be somewhere else, and yet the only person she recognized was Harriet who got on at her regular stop.

"Do you mind, dear?" she asked when she saw that Jessica was sitting alone again.

"No. Of course not," she told her even as the thought of giving up the seat, even temporarily, caused more anxiety.

The small, older woman sat next to her then said, "So how was your birthday?"

"Oh, my! I can't believe you remembered!" Jessica said.

"I'm like an elephant, dear. I never forget!"

"Get out of here! You're so tiny!" Jessica said with a smile.

"Thank you, and you look very nice today, I must say," Harriet told her.

"Oh...thank you," Jessica said back.

"He's a very handsome young man, isn't he?" Harriet said.

"What?" Jessica said, Harriet's words having rattled her deeply. "Who's...handsome?"

"The young man getting on at the next stop, of course," she said with a smile. "I've seen the way he looks at you."

"At me?" Jessica asked, her butterflies now doing flips in her tummy.

"Well, I'm pretty sure he isn't smiling at me every morning," she said sweetly. "And I've watched your face when he smiles at you. It says more than words ever could."

Rattled, Jessica said, "Oh. I...I hadn't really noticed. You mean the guy with the sandy blond hair, right?"

"Yes. That's the one. He's quite a bit younger than you, but, well, my husband was ten years younger than me, and we were so very much in love!"

Now moved, Jessica turned to her and said, "I had no idea."

"Oh, yes. Back then, I was considered a 'cradle robber', and some people said some pretty terrible things. But as they say, the heart wants what the heart wants, right, dear?"

Before Jessica could answer, the bus was pulling up to Garrett's stop, and Harriet said, "Oh, there's your fella!" pointing as delicately as she could.

She saw Jessica's reaction and said, "I think I could see better if I was to move."

Before Jessica could respond, Harriet grabbed her purse and moved behind her and sat where Garrett often sat.

She tapped Jessica on the shoulder and said, "Smile back, dear!"

Jessica turned and smiled nervously at her then just as she looked back upfront, Garrett was standing there and smiling at her. Mustering up all her courage, Jessica smiled back as brightly as she could.

He came back to where she was sitting and Harriet said, "Sit down, dear!" to Garrett before he could ask Jessica if that was okay.

"Oh. Okay," he said politely. He nodded to Harriet then said, "Thank you, ma'am, and good morning to you."

"And to you, as well," she said.

"Hey there, day-after birthday girl," Garrett said to Jessica. "Did you have a chance to read my poem?"

Her butterflies were going crazy as she smiled at him and said, "Yes. Several times, as a matter of fact."

"Does that mean you liked it?" he asked in a way that sounded hopeful.

"Yes. I liked it very much. It was quite possibly the most romantic...sorry—the sweetest thing anyone has ever done."

"Really?" he asked before saying, "I'm glad. You deserve to be happy."

Jessica opened her purse then said, "I liked it so much I wanted to formally thank you for it."

She held out the card and after looking at it then at her then back at the card, Garrett took it from her and said, "Thank you, Jessica, but you didn't have to do this."

He went to open it, and she nearly panicked. "No! Not here. You have to wait and open it later. Okay?"

He cut his eyes toward her and said, "I'm afraid I'm not very good with delayed gratification," and began opening it.

"No! Garrett, please. Don't..."

It took less than a second for him to read it, and Jessica thought she'd die if he said anything. Until he said something that completely surprised her.

He folded the card then looked right at her and quietly said, "Butterflies. You do that to me every time I see you."

Too stunned to speak, Jessica could barely even look at him.

"Butterflies," he said again as he continued looking at her and smiling. "You give me butterflies."

"Me? I...give you...butterflies?" she somehow said.

"Uh-huh. Every time," he told her. "That's why I gave you the card. I was hoping it might possibly change the way you see me."

"How...how do you think I see you?" she asked, her throat suddenly very dry.

"Like...a kid?" he said, making it a question.

"Why...why would I think that?" Jessica asked as her heart raced when he smiled at her.

"Because I'm...24?" he offered, knocking her proverbial socks off.

"Twenty...four?" she repeated.

He smiled then said, "I'll be 25 two days before I graduate but, yes, I'm still 24."

The bus was pulling over and it was Harriet's stop. She got up, went to the exit well, then smiled at Jessica.

"Remember, dear. The heart wants what the heart wants."

The door opened and after another smile and with a twinkle in her eye, Harriet got off and headed for the shelter.

"She's right, you know," Garrett said before Jessica could think of anything to say.

This time, she knew exactly what he was referring to about the heart.

"Yes. Yes, it does, doesn't it?"

He turned toward her a bit more then looked right at her when he said, "Jessica? If you don't see me like that. Like...someone too young for you...I was hoping that maybe you might like to maybe do something together sometime."

She waited for a second to make sure she heard him right then said, "I...I'd love to, Garrett."

"Great! Could we maybe exchange phone numbers before I get off?"

"Oh. Sure. Yes. Let's do that," Jessica said as she fished for hers in her purse, barely able to think as she fumbled around looking for it.

She handed it him, but she hadn't unlocked it, so he held it out and waited.

"Sorry. I...I think I'm a little nervous," she said as she took it and entered her four-digit password.

"So it isn't just me?" Garrett asked with a smile as he took her phone.

"You? Why would you be nervous?" she asked not understanding at all.

As he tapped in his name and number he said, "Are you kidding? You're gorgeous. I've wanted to ask you out since the first time I saw you, but I was sure you'd just laugh at me. You know, because of my um...un-advanced age and lack of a job."

Jessica laughed a nervous laugh then said, "That's the reason I assumed you'd never ask me. Not your age. Mine. And I don't much care about jobs."

He handed her back her phone, smiled, then said, "Well, I did ask you, and I'm really looking forward to getting to know a fellow hopeless romantic."

He went to hand her his phone, but she wasn't sure what to do with it so he said, "If you just give me your number, I can..."

"Oh, right. Duh!" Jessica said before providing it to him.

His stop was coming up, but before he stood up, he asked, "So...did you have a nice birthday?"

"Um...yes. Yes, I did. My best friend gave me some very good advice," she told him with a sweet smile.

"Ah, I see," he told her as he picked up her card to put in his bag. "Would that sage advice have anything to do with this very sweet, very...romantic thank-you note you just gave me?"

Jessica smiled like she hadn't since the first time she had a crush on a boy and said, "It might."

The bus was pulling over so Garrett put the note in his bag then said, "I'll text you later today, if that's okay?"

Jessica smiled happily and said, "That would be very okay. I'll look forward to it."

He surprised her even more when he leaned over and without warning or hesitation kissed her on the cheek and said, "Harriet has been right about everything so far."

He smiled at her then said, "You really are beautiful, Jessica," just as he stood up.

Her heart was positively pounding as she saw him looking at her and smiling as he descended into the well. He turned and looked right at her and just kept smiling.

When the doors opened he said one word. "Bye."

Jessica watched him get off, and this time, when their eyes met, he winked then blew her a kiss.

All she could do was smile until he was out of sight then turn around and say, "Oh, my God. It worked!"

That's when she realized she'd been so self-absorbed she'd barely noticed when Harriet stood up and got off the bus. She felt bad about that, but she also felt so good she was able to avoid feeling too guilty for it.

Unable to stop smiling, Jessica grabbed her phone to text Erica but had to look for herself and make sure his number was really there first. Just seeing it made her smile, and when she noticed she'd guessed correctly on the way he spelled his name, she felt like she was on top of the world.

She found her friend's name under 'messages' and started typing.

"What a difference a day makes! (And some good advice from a best friend!) I'd ask you to ask me who just gave me his number, but if I don't say it, I may burst from happiness! Yes, Garrett, that's who! Erica, it was just so...amazing! I feel like I'm back in high school experiencing my first crush! And don't you dare say that's because he's so young—even though he's...24. Yes, that's right. Twenty...four. OMG, this is so crazy!

Is this crazy? I honestly don't know. All I know is I'm happy, excited, and feeling hopeful again. And I owe it all to you! Thank you! And I love you! And did I mention how happy I am? Can't wait to talk to you in person! Love, J."

Jessica realized she'd been smiling the entire time she was texting and was still smiling when she hit 'send'.

At work, several people asked her what was going on because she kept smiling all day.

"Oh, nothing," she would say with a smile. "I'm just...happy."

And then around two o'clock, she got her first text from the smiling guy she now knew was named Garrett with two 'r's' and two 't's'.

"Hi, beautiful! I just got out of my last class, and I have to tell you it was very hard concentrating all day. Why, you ask? Well, it seems that I recently met someone. Someone who is not only gorgeous but kind, friendly, and very romantic. For some reason I can't seem to get her off my mind."

He added a blushing smily face then said, "As a starving 'grad' student, I was wondering if having coffee with me on Saturday would be an acceptable first date. Or we could just call it 'getting together' if 'date' is too formal. Either would be fine with me, although I'm really hoping you'll consider it more than just hanging out.

If you haven't figured it out yet, I really like you, Jessica. It's funny, but I can't even remember feeling like this about anyone except for maybe my first crush back in fourth grade. And please don't say something about what you were doing when I was in fourth grade, okay?"

More smily faces then, "I won't be on the bus tomorrow as I have exams that start early. But I am very much looking forward to seeing you again soon. Until then, I remain...hopelessly (and romantically) yours. Garrett."

Jessica didn't care that they barely knew one another or that he'd just signed off 'hopelessly yours'. She didn't care because it was romantic, and romance was something she craved like someone in the desert craves water. She was dying of thirst and this most unlikely person was offering her sweet, cool, delicious, purified water.

She was trying to remember if she'd ever felt like this before, and as she searched her past, she could honestly say she hadn't. She knew it could be very short-lived, but she wanted to savor every moment for as long as it lasted. They didn't even have to be intimate as long as he was this thoughtful and romantic.
"So there really is a heaven," she said quietly out loud to herself while sitting at her desk at work.

"It sure isn't this warehouse," the girl next to her said.

Jessica had no idea she'd heard her.

"Oh, sorry. I just got a text from...from...someone very special."

"Ah, okay. That makes sense. I was thinking I've never seen you all starry-eyed and...glowing like this."

The girl smiled then said, "He must not work here."

Jessica was in a good mood already, and the other's woman's workplace humor was funny in its own right. She laughed like she hadn't laughed in so long, and when she stopped laughing she realized she felt wonderful.

She looked down at her bare left hand and wondered what it would be like to have a diamond there again. Only from someone else. Someone who was very handsome. Someone who was young but also wise for his age. Someone who shared her views on the importance of romance. Someone like Garrett...

Jessica realized she still didn't even know his last name and frantically checked her phone, but he'd only provided his first. Sadly, she would have to wait to find out what her new name would be one day as she started doodling it on a piece of paper.

"Ms. Thomas? How much are we paying you to stare at your nails?" she heard the floor supervisor say in that 'well, any day now!' kind of voice.

She decided not to mention she hadn't been looking at her nails even though that would be less embarrassing than explaining what she'd been doing and why. The bottom line was she'd been sitting there daydreaming for at least several minutes between reading his text and doing the doodling.

"Sorry, sir. I was just thinking, and I know I don't get paid to think."

The supervisor looked at her as though she was being a smart aleck, and when she realized how that sounded, she couldn't help laughing again which brought on another caustic rebuke.

"Get a manicure on your own time, and get back to work!" he barked before hollering at a forklift driver to slow down before he impaled someone.

"Asshole," the other woman said just loudly enough for Jessica to hear.

She was so happy she laughed again and didn't care what the supervisor or anyone else thought for the rest of the day.

That evening, Erica agreed to stop by and discuss her best friend's newfound good fortune, and by the time she arrived, Jessica had exchanged several texts with her handsome new...friend?

Garrett had several ideas for their time together beyond coffee—if she was interested. There was a free art gallery not far away where they could spend some time looking if that was interesting to her.

"You said jobs didn't matter, and I'm pretty much broke all the time so for me, 'free is better than cheap'!" he'd texted.

"That sounds wonderful!" she texted back. "And I don't need you to spend money on me, so please don't ever worry about that. I want to spend time with you, Garrett, not your wallet."

She added some smiley faces then hit 'send'.

His reply made her smile.

"Okay. I just didn't want you to expect roses and champagne. And I was concerned you might get tired of me on the first day, so even if it is just coffee, that would be perfectly fine. As long as it's coffee with you."

He put some blushing emojis then hit 'send' back.

"I don't need either of those things or even the coffee. Just you and your amazing smile will be more than enough. And as to getting tired of you, well, I don't see that happening...on any day," she texted back with some smiley faces added for effect.

"Then let's do this!" Garrett wrote back. "I can't wait to see you again, Jessica."

More butterflies. Her tummy fluttered when she read his last line and replied in kind.

"Same here, Garrett!"

Erica wanted to read every line of every text and hear every detail of their conversation on the bus after Jessica gave him the thank you card.

"You see!" Erica said, wanting to add, "I told you so!" but didn't.

"You were so right!" Jessica said excitedly.

"Yeah, I usually am," Erica said as she did her best not to laugh or even smile.

"It's so amazing to have gone from feeling so—blah and almost hopeless—to feeling this happy and excited," Jessica told her without replying to her feigned smugness. Erica wasn't smug—ever—and she really was right most of the time.

"So you have your big date coming up. Coffee and an art gallery? That's a pretty full slate for a first-time get together."

"I know, but I actually wish it was an all-day kind of thing, you know? I realize I'm just feeling giddy, but this is what I've been craving so badly for so long."

Erica smiled and said, "You deserve it, Jessica. Just don't be too disappointed if the 'buzz' wears off at some point."

"I won't. Well, unless it happens on our first date," Jessica replied. "Other than that, I'm all too aware it has to at some point. But what doesn't have to end is a commitment to being romantic. To me, it's a way of life rather than something you do just long enough to get the guy so you can move on to some boring routine."

"True, but routine is a part of every couple's life," Erica said.

"Yes, it is, but it shouldn't be all there is. In my way of viewing things, each person should make a concerted and conscientious effort to do things for the other person. Love is a noun, but it's also a verb, and I don't want another relationship where love only means a feeling. Especially where that feeling is something you never feel."

Erica agreed with her friend, but knew how hard that was to do in real life.

"It takes a lot of work, that's for sure. But if both people are committed to it, it can pretty wonderful."

Jessica's face took on a kind of wistful look as she said, "I know that's what I want, and I'm hoping Garrett feels the same way. If not, well, I'll be hugely disappointed, but I'm not going to change who I am or give up trying for anyone or for any reason."

"So far, so good, right?" Erica said, hoping to see Jessica smile again.

"Yes. Definitely! I'm 'all in' up to this point even though we haven't even had a first date yet. And yes, I'm well aware he may not be ready for anything serious let alone a lifetime commitment. I'm just looking forward to spending time with someone I really like."

"I need to see a pic of this guy, Jessica. I keep imagining how he looks, and whether it's a person or a place we've never been to, our imagination is usually way off."

"Oh, he is so good looking, Erica!"

"And...young, right?"

Jessica felt slightly embarrassed even though that wasn't Erica's intent. But with her now being 40 years old and him being 24, that was very significant.

"He has a birthday coming up very soon, but yes, we're more than 15 years apart," Jessica said.

She stopped, tilted her head slightly then told Erica, "Wow. When I say that out loud it sounds even worse."

Erica laughed and told her friend, "I get it. But hey, as long as he's over 21 and a decent guy, what difference does it really make, right?"

"No, I agree with that, it's just that when I stop and think of how I was in high school when he was born..."

"Yeah, that does sound kind of...well, I'm not sure how it sounds, really. I think the only thing to do is spend some time with him and see how much you have in common."

Jessica's phone rang, startling her, then causing her to grab it like it was a grenade about to go off.

"Hmmm. I wonder who that's from?" Erica teased at her friend's reaction.

Jessica saw his name and her stomach went into knots.

"Hello?" she said.

"Hi. I...I just really wanted to hear your voice," he said. "Is this a bad time to call?"

"No. Not at all," Jessica said as Erica kept trying to tell her to go to video chat.

Jessica kept moving away, and Erica kept following her and mouthing, "Video! Video!"

"Garrett? Would you mind if we did a video call?" she asked hoping to get Erica to leave her alone.

"Are you kidding? I was just about to ask you so I could see your beautiful face again," he told her.

Jessica had the the phone on 'speaker' so Erica heard what he said and made 'goo-goo' eyes at her friend.

"I'm so in love with you, Garrett!" Erica whispered as she feigned swooning.

"Stop!" Jessica said just as the video kicked in.

"Stop what?" Garrett asked.

"No. Not you. My insane best friend," Jessica said while giving Erica a 'death stare'.

"Oh. Is she the one who gave you the sage advice?"

"Yes. It seems hard to imagine right about now, but yes, that would be her."

"I want to see him!" Erica said loudly causing Garrett to laugh.

"Do you mind, Garrett? My friend won't leave me alone until she..."

Erica was trying to look over her shoulder as Jessica pulled the phone away.

"Hey, you're making me seasick!" Garrett said with a laugh.

"If my soon-to-be-ex-best friend here would stop moving the phone around so I could see you, everything would be fine!" Erica said as she kept chasing the phone.

When she stopped chasing, Jessica stopped moving, and Garrett's face came into focus.

"Day-um!" Erica said without hesitation. "He is yummy!"

Garrett chuckled then asked, "Did Jessica really call me 'yummy'?"

Jessica called out, "I did not say that!" as Erica said, "Oh, yes. Several times, in fact. And now I know why."

Garrett laughed again as Erica said, "Well, since I'm very happily married, I guess I'll have to give the phone back to my very single, very interested friend."

"It was nice meeting you, Erica," he told her.

"You, too, yummy guy!" she said as she handed the phone to Jessica.

"You are so dead!" she told her friend before putting on her best smile and saying, "Hi."

"Hi," he said back.

"You really are back in high school," he heard Erica say about Jessica.

"I like her," Garrett said about Erica.

"Me, too. I have no idea why right now, but I do love her."

"Because I give you sage advice," Erica reminded her.

Garrett laughed again then got serious.

"I really did just want to see you again."

"I'm glad. Me, too," Jessica said sweetly.

"You're very easy to look at."

"No, that would be you," she insisted.

Garrett laughed politely then told her, "Well, I guess I'll let you go. I just couldn't make it the rest of the evening without talking to you."

"I'm glad you called, Garrett."

"See you tomorrow?"

"Yes. Definitely. Bye."

"O...M...G...!" Erica said. "Where do I get mine?"

"He is pretty gorgeous, huh?"

"And he's a nice guy? A nice guy who isn't just a nice guy but one who's romantic?"

"Yes and yes."

"So...who cares how old he is?" Erica asked.

"I guess I'm not sure anymore."

"Let me put it this way. If he doesn't care and you don't care...who does? And more importantly, why would you care if they do care?" she clarified.

"I agree," Jessica said. "At least I think I do. That was a whole lot of...caring to keep track of."

Erica laughed then said, "Well, of course you agree. I mean, what woman in your place wouldn't?"

"Okay, but all kidding aside, what's the sense of pursuing this?"

Erica's eyes opened wide then said, "You have looked at him, right?"

Jessica laughed again then said, "Of course. But I also know how old he is."

"And your point is?"

"Stop!" Jessica said. "Be serious for a minute."

"I'm tempted to keep going, and were I in your shoes, I'd keep going...anywhere with that guy. But, okay. I'll stop. I can't promise to be serious, but I'll try."

"Finally," Jessica said with some exasperation.

Almost immediately, Erica said, "Okay, in the vein of seriousness, let me ask you something. Does every relationship have to have the potential to end up in marriage? Can't it just be...fun?"

Jessica hadn't really thought of that before. It made sense if one wasn't marriage minded. But even after a bad experience, Jessica was still very marriage minded with the ultimate goal of having a family. And maybe it was the whole having just turned 40 thing, but she was starting to feel like time was running out.

So while it might be fun to 'play' with someone like Garrett, how would spending six months or a year fooling around help when it came to finding a husband before having children was no longer an option? One who was like Garrett but...older?

And that begged the question—how much older?

What if he was 40? Done deal, right? How about 35? Sure. No problem. But what if was only 30 or 29. Yeah, okay. But what if was 26 or...24?

Too confused to think, Jessica decided the only thing to do was spend some time with this gorgeous, younger man then worry about it later.

"Perhaps you're right. Maybe my biological clock is ticking a little too loudly, and I need to tell it to sit down and relax."

Erica felt sympathy for her friend and said, "I really do understand. If you're going to have children, you don't want to keep putting it off. But if you artificially hurry things along, you may end up in another situation like the one with Jerry."

Jessica's resolve to have some fun didn't last long as her earlier concern resurfaced.

"Or I could spend a year with Garrett only to find out he's not really what I wanted after all. And then what?"

"Jess? I don't have all the answers. I only know you have the chance to have some fun and experience some of the romance you talk about all the time; a chance with someone who's a fellow self-avowed hopeless romantic. And although the odds are admittedly against it, what if it turns out he is the one? What if you don't even try and miss out on the most amazing opportunity of your life?"

"Oh, great. Now I feel...paralyzed, Erica. Like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't."

"Someone once told me courage isn't the absence of fear but working through your fears and not letting them control you."

"Maybe you're right," Jessica said. "And even if I crash and burn, he really is to-die-for cute."

"And he seems to really like you," Erica added. "So stop letting your fears control you and give it a whirl."

"Ha! You make it sound like I'm taking a new car out for a test drive or something."

Erica laughed then said, "Would that be so bad?"

Jessica gave her a puzzled look, and Erica explained.

"You know, giving him a test drive. In bed?"

Jessica tried not to laugh but couldn't help herself.

"Normally, I'd have said something like 'shame on you', but I have to admit I've kind of been thinking the very same thing."

"There you go! Go bold. Go big. Or...go home," Erica said.

"You're full of bumper-sticker advice today, aren't you?"

"I just want to see my best friend happy. That's all."

"No, I understand," Jessica told her. "I think I'm just really nervous because he's...he's so damn young!"

"Yes, but he seems to have his act together. Most guys his age—and a lot of them our age—are still floundering around trying to find themselves. Garrett not only has the heart of a romantic, he's got a proven ability to focus. He's got a very secure future just ahead of him, and while you say you don't care about money, living without it isn't a whole lot of fun."

"You're right. About all of that."

"So go to the art gallery. Have coffee. Spend time with him. Get to know him. It won't take six months to figure out if he's not a good fit. But in the meantime, try and relax and enjoy yourself, kiddo," Erica advised her friend. "And for goodness sakes, have a little fun!"

Jessica sighed then smiled.

"You know what? I'm gonna do that!"

"There you go! That's the spirit!"

Jessica didn't see her handsome, younger friend the next day, but he did text her several times, and each time her phone buzzed, her heart did, too. She'd stop whatever she was doing and grab her phone, and the moment she saw it was from him, she'd smile as she read his text.

"I hope I'm not bothering you too often. It's hard to know how much is too much. I don't want you to think I'm a weirdo, but I also don't want you to think I'm not interested. Because I am. I'm very interested."

There were some smiley faces and a one that was blushing, and Jessica couldn't stop smiling or thinking about him.

She let him know it wasn't too much then added, "It's hard to imagine you texting me too many times, Garrett."

She put some blushing faces below it then sent it back.

He immediately sent an entire row of smiles back, and Jessica realized her heart was racing. 'Fortunately' her supervisor was heading her way, so the racing stopped as she got back to her paperwork to avoid getting chewed out again.

The last text came around 9 pm that evening, and let her know when and where to meet—if that was acceptable to her.

Jessica happily tapped out her reply ending it with a ton of smiley faces.

"Yes. It's perfect. I'll see you then, Garrett!"

She got some more smiles in return and by the time she got ready for bed, nearly all of her previous anxieties were gone, and she found herself very much looking forward to spending a good part of her day with this amazing, funny, smart, and gorgeous younger man.

Jessica had never been the Frye Art Museum on Terry Avenue. She'd heard of it and been by it many times but never gone inside. The museum has its own cafe called the Cafe Frieda and features made-from-scratch sandwiches, seasonal soups, and Seattle's favorite beverage—coffee.

The weather was chilly but not cold, and Jessica was pretty sure she'd be okay without a coat. Yes, it was a little silly to be worrying about how she looked, but she couldn't help it as she went through her closet several times trying to decide what to wear. She wanted to wear a dress, but that was a bit much. Jeans were too casual, and in the end, the weather more or less dictated her choice.

Sweaters were the norm in the area nine or ten months of the year, and the ribbed look was back in a big way, so Jessica chose a long-sleeved, white, rib knit sweater and a short, black skirt. Even though they would be walking around, there was no way she was going to wear flats on a first date, so she ended up choosing a pair of black heels that were 2 3/4". Not too high to be uncomfortable, but high enough to make her calves stand out, and that's exactly what she wanted.

A simple silver necklace and earrings along with a matching watch completed her look; one with which she was very pleased. Coupled with her long, dark hair worn down, she thought this was about as good is it got, and for...forty...that dirty new word...she knew she looked very nice. All she could do now was hope Garrett agreed.

Jessica took the bus, making two transfers to get there, and ended up arriving almost fifteen minutes early. Then again, she was more often early than late preferring to wait for someone else rather than make them wait on her.

There were benches outside, and although it was on the chilly side, she waited there rather than go in. To her great delight, Garrett showed up a few minutes later and as he called out 'hello' to her and waved, a smiled broke out on her pretty face as her heart began to beat a little faster.

"Hi, Garrett!" she said as she stood up to meet him.

"Wow! Look at you!" he said as he walked right up to her.

Jessica had no idea what he might do, but she knew that if he were to try and kiss her there'd be no objection coming from her.

Garrett didn't kiss her, but he did open his arms inviting a hug, and Jessica was all-too-happy to accept a hug and give him one herself. He wasn't a large man by any means. He was maybe 5' 10" and maybe 175 pounds. He was also neither heavy nor thin, and Jessica thought he looked just as good in his jeans and the brown leather jacket he was wearing as he did her in the outfit she'd chosen.

"Thank you, and you, too!" she told him admiringly.

He smiled and told her, "I don't get all dressed up for just anyone."

"Well, I think you look very handsome," she told him truthfully.
He extended his arm which she happily took, then said, "Shall we?"

He opened the door for her then surprised her—pleasantly—when he took her hand once they were inside.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

"A little," she said.

The truth was she hadn't had a thing to eat that morning because she'd been too nervous to even try.

"Their sandwiches are fantastic," Garrett told her as they walked into the cafe.

Everything on the menu looked delicious, and Jessica ended up ordering the half sandwich & soup combo. For the sandwich she chose the ham & melted brie with fresh thyme and toasted walnuts in a toasted Macrina Bakery demi-baguette. They also made their soup from scratch, and it was as delicious as anything she'd ever eaten.

Garrett ordered the Turkey Apricot Sandwich with melted provolone, applewood bacon, mixed lettuce, and an apricot dijon sauce. He offered Jessica a bite, and she swooned over the taste.

"Oh, my gosh! That is so good!" she told him.

Both of them also had a cup of coffee with their meal, and while the food was very good, just being with Garrett was by far the best part of the experience.

Jessica couldn't believe she asked this question, but ask it she did.

"So, do you come here often?"

Garrett smiled but didn't laugh.

"Not too often. But because it's free, and because I enjoy art, I stop by a time or two a year."

"What kind of art do you enjoy?" she asked, hoping that was a better question.

"I'm no connoisseur," he told her. "I just enjoy looking."

"Oh, good. I was worried you might be an expert and make me feel..."

She didn't finish her thought, so Garrett asked, "Make you feel...how?"

"I don't know, really," she replied.

Jessica smiled then said, "You make me feel a lot of things, Garrett."

"Such as?" he asked, that smile of his causing a very pleasant reaction.

"Um, well, let's see. For starters, you make me feel...happy."

"That's a good thing, right?"

"Yes, it is," she said.

"Anything else?" he asked, still smiling happily.

"Well, you make me...you make me...nervous."

"Nervous? How so?"

"Because...because I'm not sure what to make of all this."

"All this?" he asked.

"Okay, maybe it would be better to say just being around you makes me 'nervous'."

"In a good way or a bad way?"

"Good?" she said with a slightly raised shoulder and a kind of 'wince' in her face.

"Wow. I see I've clearly underwhelmed you," he said in a teasing kind of way.

"No. Not at all," Jessica said. "It's just that this is so different from any other relation..."

"Relation-ship?" Garrett asked.

"I suppose it's too early to call it...that," Jessica replied.

Garrett took a sip of coffee then asked, "Is it okay that I'm kind of hoping it'll become a relationship?"

Jessica immediately looked away, set down the half-sandwich she'd been holding, then looked up at him and said, "I don't see any problem with that."

"I'm glad," he told her. "I'm glad because I find myself unable to stop thinking about you."

"What? Me?" she said as she looked back up at him, not sure she heard him correctly.

"Uh, yeah. Of course I mean you, Jessica. You're the most interesting woman I've ever met, and I gotta tell you, you're also very attractive."

She tried to smile as she responded.

"You see. That's what makes me feel nervous."

He surprised her again when he reached across the table and took her hand and said, "I'm hoping you won't feel that way after we get to know each other a little better."

Jessica never put an elbow on a table, and rarely ever let her arm rest on one, but she'd done just that while sitting there. Subconsciously, at least, she must have been hoping he might do what he just did if she made a hand available to him. Consciously, she didn't think it would actually happen, but when his hand touched hers, a surge of adrenaline coursed through her body.

"I...I think that's a pretty safe bet," she told him with a genuine smile.

They made small talk as they ate, then continued talking as they topped off their coffee cups. Jessica didn't want to talk about herself, but Garrett kept insisting whenever she told him she wasn't very interesting.

"Au contraire," he told her once. "I think you are not only very interesting but even fascinating."

Before she could thank him he added, "And beautiful."

She did thank him, but had to say something in response to his very sweet words.

"You know how old I am, so I find it...odd...very nice but still odd...that you would say something like that to me."

"Then you need to sit where I'm sitting and look at yourself, Jessica, because I can assure you that are a very beautiful woman."

"For forty, right?" she said, not trying to debase herself, but to make sure she understood him correctly.

"No, for any age," he said with a slight nod of his head to emphasize he was telling the truth.

"I guess it would be a little easier to accept if you weren't so...gorgeous."

"So nervous and insecure, eh?" he teased.

"No. I'm not...insecure," she said rather defensively.

The way he was looking at her told her he was seeing right through her, and that made her admit the truth.

"Okay, maybe a little bit. When I'm around you."

"Well, don't be, okay?" he said.

Before she could reply, he slid his chair around right next to hers then waited for her to look at him. When she did, her softly brushed her back, then told her, "I can't ever remember feeling like this about anyone before. Ever."

She wanted to look at him but couldn't. He was so unbelievably good looking it made doing so impossible, so she looked down and away then said very quietly, "Yes. Nervous and insecure."

He waited for her to look his way again, and after several seconds she did so. When she did, he was still staring at her.

"What? Garrett, why are you looking at me like that?" she asked, her heart racing in her chest.

"Because I really, really want to kiss you," he told her quietly.

"You...I...why would you..."

While she still trying to talk, he leaned over and softly pressed his lips against hers until she stopped trying. It took her a second, but after her eyes opening wide in surprise they closed and she kissed him back.

"I thought maybe my 'bacon breath' was too much," he said with a smile as he pulled back.

"I...I like bacon breath," she heard herself say, having no idea why she'd said it.

"Oh, good. I thought you might be one of those kooky vegan types. They're everywhere in Seattle, you know."

"They are?" Jessica asked, Garrett's face just inches in front of hers.

"Oh, yeah. It's like a disease around here. A disease that's spreading."

"It is?" she asked still trying to recover from the kiss.

"Uh-huh. I mean, why would God put pigs and cows on earth if we weren't supposed to eat them, right?" he said with a smile.

"Oh. Yes. Good point," she said, giving no thought to God, animals, or whether or not eating them was a good, bad, or neutral kind of thing.

"I like a girl who'll eat a turkey sandwich," he told her with a smile as he picked hers up.

Garrett picked her sandwich up, put one hand underneath it, then offered her a bite.

Jessica looked at him then at the sandwich, smiled, and took a small bite.

"We gotta put a little meat on those bones," he told her.

"Hardly," she replied as she covered her mouth while chewing. "I feel like I'm huge."

He set the food down, carefully wiped his hands then started squeezing her arm in a couple of places.

"Um, Garrett? What are you doing? she asked, unable to keep from smiling, after swallowing the tiny bite she'd taken.

"Just checking."

"And what is it you're checking?"

"Well, you don't feel huge to me," he told her.

Jessica stared laughing as he said a little louder, "In fact, you feel pretty darned good."

"You goof!" she said as she laughed happily.

"Okay, but admit it. You're not as nervous now, are you?"

Jessica stopped laughing, looked right at him, then said, "No. I'm not."

"Good. I don't want you to be nervous," he said just before he kissed her again.

Jessica kissed him back again then said, "If you plan on kissing me again, shouldn't I at least know your last name?"

"It's Weiland," he said, pronouncing it WHY-land.

"Okay. Thank you, Garrett Weiland," she said.

"So...may I kiss you again?" he asked immediately causing her to laugh.

"I suppose that'd be okay," she told him, knowing she was dying for another kiss, and hoping it would be an even nicer kiss than before.

Garrett reached over and put a hand on her cheek then turned her face toward him and again kissed her softly. Jessica wanted to put her arm around him and really kiss him back, but they were in public, and years of socialization wouldn't let her, so she settled for another very nice, tongueless kiss.

As he slowly pulled away Garrett said, "Did I mention how beautiful you are yet?"

"I...I can't really remember," she said partly because she was so frazzled she wasn't sure, and partly because she'd love to hear him say it again.

"Well, you are," he told her. "You are so, so beautiful."

He looked into her eyes then told her, "Your smile lights up the day; the twinkle in your eyes the night."

Jessica's heart was pounding as Garrett continued speaking.

He turned his chair fully toward her, and Jessica put her hands in her lap and kind of turned toward him. He reached out and took them, then looked into her eyes and spoke from the heart.

"Were I blind, I could still see your beauty, because it comes from your soul, and can only be seen with the heart."

Many, if not most, women, might have snickered or snorted or even laughed. But not Jessica Thomas. Her eyes were transfixed and locked on his as he spoke.

"If you doubt your beauty then look deeply into my eyes. When you do, you'll see your reflection and understand the way I see you."

Blood was crashing into her brain as her heart worked overtime to keep up with the demands her body was sending it. Even so, Jessica was very aware that this was exactly the kind of thing she'd wanted, needed, and craved for so long. She also knew this wasn't an act on Garrett's part. She could sense that this was who he was; that the things he was saying weren't an act but borne of feelings coming from the far reaches of his soul.

"The depth of your beauty is like the ocean, and no matter how deep I dive, I will never find its end."

Jessica had no idea who else was around them. To her, in her mind, there were only two people on earth. Her and this amazing, romantic, younger man saying the kinds of things she'd only dreamed of hearing her entire life.

She had no idea how much time elapsed from the last word he said until she spoke.

"When you said you were a hopeless romantic, I had no way of knowing whether those were just words or the truth."

"And now?" he asked her with a gentle smile.

"And now I know beyond any shadow of a doubt that you are indeed a very romantic man, Garrett," she said barely able to talk. "You have no idea how much I love hearing you talk to me that way."

"And I love that you find it enjoyable rather than mocking me for it," he replied just as quietly.

"What? Who would ever mock you for being so sweet and romantic?" she asked, unable to imagine any woman doing that.

"Too many, I'm afraid," he told her. "But having found a woman as wonderful and beautiful as you who doesn't mind letting me myself, I may not be able to let you go."

"If...if you keep talking to me that way, I...I won't ever want you to let me go," she said just above a whisper.

Garrett gently squeezed her hands then said, "We should probably finish eating so we can go look around."

"I...I'm not hungry anymore," Jessica told him truthfully.

Garrett smiled then she said, "Not for food, anyway."

He went to take his hands away, but Jessica wouldn't let him.

"My last name is Thomas," she told him.

"Okay. Then it's very nice to know you, Jessica Thomas."

He went to pull away again, but Jessica said, "Now that you know my last name, too, don't you want to kiss me again?"

"I've wanted to kiss you since our eyes met on the bus that very first time," he told her.

Rather than pull away a third time, Garrett sat there and waited for her to finish.

"I used to dream of someone like you, to hold me close and see me through. To love my eyes and my smile, when I'm a afraid to stay with me a while. But now that I'm here together with you, I have no idea what to do. This wonderful feeling I have for you, is..."

"You could kiss me," Garrett said with a smile.

Jessica leaned forward and did just that. This time she put her hand on his face, and as they kissed, she gently offered him the tip of her tongue which he accepted before doing the same. It was just the briefest of touches, but one that sent warm chills down through her body.

This time she let go of his hands, and when he smiled at her she smiled back. This was but one of many smiles, but it was different from any that had come before because it was filled with meaning; meaning from shared words, shared kisses, and shared visions.

Jessica sat quietly watching Garrett eat, smiling the entire time. Many guys would have asked what she was looking at, but he knew. Jessica was now looking at him the way he'd been looking at her. There was no need to ask as their eyes said everything that could have been said.

When he finished, he stood up, offered her a hand, then helped her up. Standing face to face they continued smiling before Garrett said, "Is it okay to say we have a relationship now?"

"Yes," she said with a happy smile as she slid her arms around his neck and kissed him again.

Jessica took his hand as soon as she lowered her arms then grabbed her purse and let Garrett lead. They started off in the Frye salon which featured over a hundred and fifty paintings.

Jessica had never been very interested in art, but because she was with Garrett, every painting become a thing of beauty as they held hands and looked, telling each other how it made them feel. She'd never been with any man of any age who was so unafraid to express his feelings. And yet Garrett was anything but soft or feminine. He was all male yet so secure in himself that he could share exactly what he was feeling in ways that had already bonded Jessica to him so tightly it frightened her.

It frightened her because she feared falling in love with him then getting her heart broken when he moved on. She was already in deep, and there was no turning back now. All she could do was hold on for the ride and hope it would never end.

Over four hours passed before Garrett said, "I uh, I need to use the restroom."

"Oh. Sure," Jessica said, aware she'd needed to do the same for some time. She'd just kept holding it not wanting this amazing, enjoyable time to end or even be interrupted.

Both of them used the facilities then met up just outside.

She smiled at him and Garrett said, "I'd forgotten how beautiful you are."

No one else was around, so he put his arms around her for the first time and kissed her in a way that made Jessica feel like she might die if he stopped.

"I...I can't believe the way you make me feel," she whispered as he held her close.

"Are you still nervous?" he asked her.

"No," she told him. "I'm happy. Happier than I've ever been."

"Shame on you. You just stole my line," he told her as he pulled back to look into her eyes.

"I...I feel like I've known you all my life," she told him.

Garrett smiled and said, "Okay, that's twice."

Jessica smiled back then said, "I really was nervous. About meeting you, about going out with you, about...everything."

"I think I was more afraid than nervous," Garrett told her.

"Why? Why would you be afraid?" Jessica asked.

"Because I had this feeling you wouldn't take me seriously because of my age," he told her quite frankly.

"It's funny, but in my mind, I'm still your age, Garrett. I look in the mirror and know I'm not, but mentally that's how I feel."

He started to say something about her age, but Jessica needed to finish her thought.

"When I look at you, I'm very aware of how old you are, and that makes me all too aware of how old I am. But when I listen to you speak or see the way you look at me, I...none of that matters."

She looked down then added, "Not to me, anyway."

Garrett gently lifted her chin then smiled at her.

"It doesn't matter to me, either, Jessica."

"So...so does it really not bother you to be seen, you know, holding hands with a woman my age?" she asked, her eyes searching for the truth.

Garrett smiled at her then said, "I was going to recite a poem about age being just a number, but I think I'll try being a little less serious for a moment."

"Okay," Jessica said, her arms still around his neck.

With all the seriousness he could muster up, Garrett said, "Age is something that doesn't matter—unless you're cheese."

He smiled and she laughed before he said, "Yeah. Cheese. Then age is really important."

Jessica laughed then, unlike Garrett's pretend serious, got very serious as she looked at him. She stood there just looking into his eyes, and a flood of emotions washed over her.

"Where have you been all my life?" she asked as tears filled her eyes.

"I think I should keep it light or you might start crying," he said very quietly.

"I'm not crying," she told him. "I'm happy."

"Yeah. Me, too," he told her before playfully kissing her nose.

"What were you going to say?" she asked.

"Oh, um...I was gonna say something about me being in diapers for a good part of your life, but..."

Jessica laughed and hit him playfully.

"Stop!" she said.

"It's true."

"Yes, I know. That's why you need to stop," she told him again.

And then he said something that nearly blew her mind.

"If I fall in love with you and you dump me, I may never recover," he said trying to sound playful. But Jessica could tell that, this time, he was being serious, and his words were so profound they rocked her to her very core.

"I won't," she told him. "I won't ever do that."

Garrett kissed her again just as a custodian appeared. He needed to get by, and they were blocking his way.

"Sorry," Garrett said as he took Jessica's hand and moved them out of the way.

"No, you're fine," the much-older man said. "At my age, it's just nice to see two people so in love. A lot of folks could learn a thing or two from you."

And with that, he excused himself and went around them.

"He thought we were in love," Jessica said as they slowly walked hand-in-hand back to the exhibition where they'd left off.

"He seems like a very smart man to me," Garrett told her.

Jessica held his hand and reached over and held his arm, too, as she said, "Yes. Brilliant even."

By dinnertime, neither of them wanted this first date to end, but Jessica wanted him to feel free to leave if he needed to.

"No, I don't have anything to do, but more importantly, there's nothing else I'd rather be doing than spend time with you. So I have no desire to leave, unless you're tired of hanging out with me."

"Uh-uh. Not at all," she told him. "There's nothing I'd rather be doing, either."

Her new boyfriend turned to face her then said, "My uh, my roommate is home visiting his family for the weekend. We could go back to my place and order some takeout and maybe watch a movie."

"I'd like that," Jessica told him with a warm smile.

Twenty minutes later, via the bus, they were at his small, two-bedroom apartment in the University District.

"It's kind of a mess, so I'm forewarning you," Garrett told her as they arrived at his door.

"I don't mind," Jessica assured him as he opened the door and let her in.

It was obvious the mess came from his roommate. The common area was clean and so was his bedroom based on a quick peek as he 'showed her around.' The other bedroom, however, was a disaster.
"We're kind of the Odd Couple," Garrett told her. "We get along okay except where it comes to keeping the place clean."

"Ah, okay. So...you're Felix, right?" she teased.

"That'd be me," Garrett told her. "Well, I'm not that anal about cleanliness. But he's pretty close to being Oscar Madison."

"As long as his door stays closed, I think I can deal with that," Jessica said sweetly with a bright, happy smile. "Besides, you'll be finished with school soon, and I'm assuming you won't be staying here."

"That's a safe bet," he told her.

"Any idea where you'll live or work yet?" she asked as he got ready to order some Chinese food online.

"That kind of depends," he replied.

"On?"

"Well, you see, there's this really amazing woman I recently met, and I've got it pretty bad for her," Garrett replied.

"Oh. Lucky girl," Jessica said, her heart racing again.

"No. Lucky me," he insisted.

Jessica smiled but didn't reply.

"I'm from Spokane, and that's where my parents live. I've always just assumed I'd move back there when I graduate. I've even sent out some resumes to a handful of pharmacies in the area."

"And does this...girl...fit into your plans?" she asked.

"I don't know yet. As I said, we only recently met, but I can tell you I'm absolutely crazy about her."

"I see," Jessica replied sweetly with a happy smile.

"Yeah, so if, let's say, I was lucky enough to you know, win her heart, I'd be willing to live pretty much anywhere that made her happy."

"Wow. She really is a lucky girl. But how do you know she wouldn't be willing to live anywhere that made you happy?" Jessica countered.

"Oh, well, in that case, she'd be even more amazing, and that's kinda hard to imagine."

"A woman in love will do many things for the man she adores," Jessica told him.

"Interesting. I uh, I'd be willing to do pretty much anything for her, too."

"So Spokane, huh?" Jessica said as he finished placing their order.

"Uh-huh. Have you been there?" he asked.

"Yes. A couple of times. It's very nice. It's also very different from Seattle."

"As in night and day different," Garrett said, agreeing with her completely.

"Does it ever rain there?" Jessica asked.

"The annual average is about 16 inches whereas Seattle gets around 38, so, yes, it does rain."

"I like the green over here on the west side of the state, but I'm not wild about the gray. Or the rain," she said as he offered her a seat on the old-but-mostly-clean couch.

"I agree. It's depressing, at least to me, to have gray skies so much of the year. Even the nicer days are still mostly cloudy whereas it's bright and sunny much of the time on the eastern side of the state."

"I like sunny," Jessica said as Garrett put his arm around her.

"Yeah?"

"Uh-huh. And...I like you, too," she told him.

"What a coincidence. I like you, too. A lot."

"A lot, huh?"

"Uh-huh. A whole lot."

"That makes me very happy," she said quietly as she moved closer to kiss him.

A single kiss became two and then three, and at some points tongues began touching then tangling and had it not been for a knock on the door a few minutes later...

Both of them were hungry, and Jessica was famished. Again, they ate and talked and laughed, and after dinner, she offered to leave—just in case.

"I uh, I'd prefer watching a romantic movie with you instead," Garrett countered.

"I could probably be persuaded to stay in that case," she told him. "But I really could stand to brush my teeth."

"Ha! No worries. I just went to the dentist a couple of weeks ago, and they gave me a free toothbrush. And floss."

"Well, If you could show me where they are, you could choose a movie while I brush my teeth."

"Don't you want to help me decide?"

"Uh-uh. I want you to choose," she told him.

There were many things Jessica loved about being a woman, and letting the right man make some decisions for her was one of them. Being controlled, however, was not.

When she came back, Garrett let her know it was his turn, and as he got up to go brush his teeth, he asked her if his choice was acceptable, as he pointed to an empty DVD case on the coffee table.

"You like Love Actually?" she asked, barely able to believe her eyes.

"I do...actually," he told her. "And for the record, you remind me of Keira Knightly in the scene where she's wearing the white sweater."

"Get out of here!" Jessica said. She knew the scene and didn't think she was anywhere near that pretty.

"Okay. You're right. You're much better looking," he told her causing to smile at him in a way that causing his body to react.

Jessica loved that movie, and it was in her top three favorite romantic comedies of all time right behind The Notebook and The Wedding Planner. Pretty Woman was also a favorite, but she loved this movie, and knew each of the nine interconnected stories it told by heart.

What she didn't know—yet—was that Garrett did, too, and that this was his personal favorite. But by the time it ended, both of them had said so many lines together, mostly the romantic lines, that she couldn't help but know.

Through the first half they'd held hands, and then she curled up with him after he put his arm around her. All in all, it may have been the most romantic experience of her life. Or would that be their time at the museum? Or maybe the birthday card?

For the first time ever, Jessica managed not to cry through the entire movie. And when it ended, she mentioned that to Garrett.

"That's a good thing, right? It means you're not nervous around me anymore."

"Something like that," she replied sweetly.

She was still curled up with him, and Garrett said, as he looked into her eyes, "Please don't go."

Her heart had calmed down during dinner and did okay during the movie. But when he asked her stay it immediately went into overdrive.

"I...are you...does this mean you..." she said.

"It means I can't stand the thought of letting you go," he told her. "I know we just met and all, so if you need to go home, I'll completely understand. It's just that I've never met anyone like you before in my life, Jessica. I've never felt like this about anyone, and I'd very much like you to stay."

"You had me at 'please don't go'," she told him, the corny-but-sincere words spilling out on their own.

Jessica didn't go home. In fact, she stayed the entire night; a night in which this handsome, romantic, younger man made love to her several times. To her delight, Garrett made love the way he spoke. It was slow and romantic and possibly even...heavenly.

Jessica couldn't ever remember a more wonderful time in her life until around eight in the morning when she heard the front door open.

"Garrett! Wake up!" she said quietly in a frantic voice as she shook him.

"Hey there, beautiful," he said.

"Someone's here!" she said. "The door. I..."

"Yoo-hoo! Anyone home?" a male voice called out.

"Oh, my God! Who is that?" Jessica asked as she pulled the covers up as far as she could.

"That would be my roommate," he told her in an annoyed tone of voice.

"I thought you said he was gone for the weekend!" she said with more desperation than anger.

"Sorry. I didn't expect him back until this afternoon."

"Well, he's here now! Garrett...do something!"

"Yo, Kev," he called out.

"You're not alone, are you, dude?" the voice called back.

"Why do you say that?" Garrett called out as Jessica 'hid' under the covers.

"Because I just know," he said. "That and the bra laying out here."

"Oh...my...GOD!" Jessica said. "Do you do this all the time?"

The 'voice' evidently heard her in spite of her attempt to be quiet and said, "No, he doesn't. In fact, you're the first girl he's had um...sleep over...or even in his bed in maybe a year. Does that help?"

Garrett shrugged his shoulders and Jessica realized two things. Garrett didn't sleep around in spite of his 'gorgeousness', and...it was 'walk of shame' time; something she hadn't experienced since she was in college.

"I'll step out for a while if you like," the voice said.

Garrett turned to Jessica who said, "That's okay."

"Nah, it's cool," Garrett called out.

"You sure? Cuz I can like...go have another cup of coffee."

Jessica was dressed in less than a minute while Garrett pulled on a pair of shorts and a tee-shirt in seconds.

"So...I guess I'll go meet your roommate now," Jessica said, making Garrett wonder just how angry she was.

She grabbed the brush from her purse, and ran it through her hair several times, then turned toward him and said, "Okay."

Garrett opened the door slowly, found his roommate, then let Jessica walk by as he said, "Kev? This is uh...this is..."

"Jessica," she said as she smiled at him.

Garrett's roommate looked nothing like him. He was anything but attractive and had a thick, black mop of hair on top of his head. He also wore black-rimmed glasses and was a good twenty pounds overweight.

"Holy mother of God!" Kevin said when he saw her.

"I'm sorry?" Jessica said not sure what to make of the comment.

"I think Kevin is trying to express his belief that you're very attractive."

Kevin couldn't even look at her, and Jessica suddenly felt sympathy rather than resentment.

"Um...yeah," Kevin said. "She's like...way hot."

Garrett was going to chide his friend until he saw Jessica smile.

"Thank you, Kevin. That's very sweet of you to say."

"It's totally true," he said as he glanced over at her.

They talked for a minute or so then Garrett offered to walk her out, but Jessica had to use the bathroom first and brush her teeth again first. After that, Garrett not only walked her outside but went to the bus stop with her.

"I am so sorry," he finally said. "I swear I didn't know he'd back so early."

"I'm not upset," she told him.

"Really?" he asked.

"I was startled and surprised, but not angry," she said sweetly.

"I'm really glad," he said. "Are you not angry enough to see me again?"

He took her hands in his as he asked and she looked at him and said, "When I said you had me at 'please don't go', I meant it."

"Thank God. I can't tell you how relieved I am. If you were angry or upset or...anything. If you walked away and never came back..."

"I won't walk away, Garrett," she told him, that look back in her eyes.

"No?" he asked as he moved closer.

"No," she assured him. "I have no idea why you...like me...so much. All I know is I have never been so happy in my entire life, and I'll keep coming back as long as you ask me to."

He put his arms around her, smiled, then said, "Promise?"

"Yes. I promise," she told him just before he kissed her.

Jessica kept her promise and kept coming back. In fact, she was either at his place or he was at hers every day from that moment on until he graduated from pharmacy school the last week of May.

Neither of them had ever experienced a whirlwind romance, but it had happened to them. Garrett and Jessica them knew the very first time they kissed that they'd fallen in love. They'd finally met a fellow hopeless romantic who was everything they'd ever dreamed of finding where love and romance were concerned.

Garrett had virtually no money, but he continually found new and creative ways to show Jessica how he felt about her; ways that made her smile or laugh or on occasion—cry. She did her best to be everything her handsome, young boyfriend wanted or desired and found her happiness in doing so. That was possible because there was very little he wanted beyond her love. In fact, she'd had to pull things out of him because he was concerned she might think he expected this or that, when all she wanted was to do them for him. But doing them wasn't a burden. Doing them was a joy.

He, in turn, kept the romance coming each and every day. A month before graduation, Garrett asked her to go home to Spokane with him and meet his family during the last three-day weekend before he finished school.

His parents knew how old she was, but they also knew how happy she made their 25-year old son. That he'd given this older woman his heart was all they needed to know about her. And once they met her, they understood why he had.

They came out to Seattle the end of May for his graduation, and that evening at dinner, Garrett asked her to marry him. He did so while reciting the most romantic poem Jessica had ever heard as he knelt on one knee before her with the ring in hand.

Through tears of joy she said, "Yes!" and accepted the modest diamond he'd bought having borrowed even more money to do so.

Jessica also said 'yes' immediately when he asked her if she'd consider moving to Spokane with him where he had a job lined up that paid quite well; a job that would allow her to stay home and raise children—should she want to.

She told her handsome fiancé how much she wanted children and that nothing would make her happier. They spend a week at his parents' home as they looked for a place of their own, and once they found one, Garrett began working full-time.

They married in August, then began trying to start a family. By the middle of November, a seed had been planted, and Jessica cried with joy when the results of her pregnancy test came back positive.

She was 41 when their first child was born, and 43 when they had their second.

There was nothing Jessica Weiland loved more on earth than her two babies, except for the very handsome, younger man she'd married and whom she loved and adored with all her heart; the man who still did some little romantic thing for her every day. A man who continued doing so every single day she was alive; a man who embodied everything she'd ever wanted in life and more.

Erica had been so right. The wheels on the bus continued going round and round, and would have whether or not she'd ever taken a chance and let Garrett know how she felt. Her best friend had happily flown to Spokane to be her Maid of Honor, and she was the one who'd reminded Jessica about those wheels.

They were still going round and round all over the Seattle area, but Jessica had stopped moving and settled down with the man of her dreams and two beautiful children who provided her with all the love and happiness any woman could ever want.

She smiled when, one day as she sat looking at her handsome husband playing with their two children, she realized that sometimes wishes really do come true.
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