Note: All persons used in this novel are fictitious. Although the areas used in this novel are real, the streets, buildings, roadways, recreational areas, and other points of interest used to make this interesting reading for you, are neither at the exact heights, or in the location described. If you are looking for a great deal of explicit sexual activity, this is not the story for you. As I have it notated now, those scenes will be evocative rather than aggressive. They also will be a few and far between. This is going to be a "SHORT STORY, for your reading pleasure," with no more than "FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS." With the exclusion of certain scenes, this story could easily have a fit into the category of "NON-EROTIC" as easily as it will fit into a Novel or Novella. Again, please remember, 'THIS IS A NOVEL.'

Chapter 5

15. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC

As they picked me up off the floor, and wet my face with a cloth, I was still in another world. What had Rod said to me that confused and surprised me so that it knocked me out cold?

Doctor Livingstone was still on the phone talking with someone and laughing. I heard him say, "He survived whatever you told him, and they have him standing up now. I do not think you should tell him it again. It may kill him this time. Hang on I will give him the phone, although I am not sure he is coherent yet."

Livingstone said to his colleagues, "You better put him in a chair; if he falls again he might break some of our equipment."

"Even are you well enough to talk to your friend Rod?"

I said yes, although I was not sure I could handle what he was about to tell me again.

"Rod, I believe I remember what you said to me before, but it is not possible. I never touched my sister intimately. I swear to you on my life than I have never had intercourse with anyone in my entire life."

"Even do you believe in science?"

"Don't ask me a stupid question when you already know the answer Rod."

"I have DNA proof that you and your sister are Delicious' parents. What do you want me to do with these findings? Do you want me to bury them? Do you want me to burn them? Do you want me to burn your sister's diary?"

"Divine left a diary? Did you read it?"

"Of course I read it Even. I will never divulge a word of it, because of our confidentiality agreement. You and Delicious have to read it to understand why she did what she did to both of you. It is a heartbreaking story of unrequited longing and love. You have got to get home to help heal your daughter, before she cracks under the strain of losing you."

"I will call her from here Rod, and ask her to forgive me for being such an ass. I am coming home to be with her forever. Have you told her she is my daughter?"

"No, I believe this is a story for both of you to hear while you are sitting together, don't you?"

"I believe you are right. Thank you Rod, you are still the best lawyer I have ever known."

"I want a raise."

"Okay, as long as you take Amtrak from now on, I will give you one."

"Why do you always have a better answer to one of my simple requests?"

"I am smarter than you are Rod, get used to it."

"I hate you Even; I hate you almost as much as your daughter."

"Hang up Rod; I have to call her."

"Doctor Livingstone, is it okay if I make an outgoing call?"

"It will cost you $50 Even."

I reached into my pocket, took out $500, and handed it to him. "I may be on the phone for a long time. I think this should cover it."

"Even I was kidding."

"Call Barrow, and order pizza for everyone."

I dialed Rosalynn's number and waited for her to pick up the phone. She didn't answer it; Delicious did. She screamed, "Uncle Even is it you?"

"Yes baby it's me. Can you possibly forgive me for hurting you so terribly when you did not deserve it. It was my pride that was hurt baby, you did not do anything wrong."

"Yes I did, and I should have known better. I am sorry Uncle Even. Why are you in Alaska?"

"Would you believe I wanted to learn how to ice fish?"

"Director Meil said you would not know one end of a fishing pole from the other. When are you coming home?"

"There is an airplane waiting for me to get off the phone with you to take me back to Barrow. I will make arrangements from there to Fairbanks, and then the fastest way home."

"I cannot wait to get my arms around you again."

"I cannot wait either sweetheart. Why don't you go over the program while I am on the way home, and see if you can find anything that's wrong with it. Wait until I get there to put any fixes in, okay?"

"Are you sure Uncle Even, I can wait until you come home to do it."

"What are you going to do with yourself for the next few days, while you are waiting for me to get home; sit on your thumbs?"

"Well, since Rod has been away, Colonel Jeffrey and our staff have been making preparations for his arrival."

"Delicious very soon the worm is going to turn; and you are going to be on the receiving end."

"He isn't that good Uncle Even."

"Remember you said that, because one day you are going to regret it."

"What do you know that I do not know Uncle?"

"I am at the tip of Alaska. Rod is in the eastern portion of Maine. Unless he was in Florida we could not be further apart if we tried. He will be the culprit not me. I have to get on an airplane now, and get back to you. Oh one more thing, I have a girlfriend. Good by now"

I took the phone away from my ear, but I could hear her yelling, "Don't you dare hang up on me. Tell me about her."

I said one more word which I knew would inflame her. "NO," and hung up the phone.

I could only imagine how much money she would have to put into the pretzel jar when she got back to the house.

I thanked the staff at the Point Barrow scientific outpost for their hospitality. I asked them if there was anything they needed the government didn't allow them in their budget. Within minutes I had a list of items, and promised them I would see if I could accommodate them with as many of these instruments as possible, within a short period of time.

I climbed back in to that god-awful single engine aircraft. The pilot laughed at me.

"You liked it so much the first time, you wanted to go for another ride, eh doc?"

"I always wanted to perform open heart surgery on myself too. I decided not to do it just in case my hands slipped. Let's get back to Barrow in one piece if possible."

"Doc, I do this round-trip four times a week, and the only thing that happens is I get hemorrhoids. Fasten your seatbelt; it's going to be rough."

He wasn't lying, because as soon as the wheels lifted off the ground, we were hit by a wind shear that tipped the wings 45 degrees. I was very happy I didn't eat anything, while I was on the ground.

We flew much higher on the way back to Barrow, then when we were on the way to Point Barrow. I asked the pilot why.

He asked me if I had ever seen the movie with Anthony Hopkins, where their aircraft was hit by a flock of geese flying over a ridge, while they were looking for a landing site.

I saw that movie, and remembered the result of the geese impacting the aircraft very well. I was happy we were much higher than the local terrain.

After an hour flying time, Barrow was in sight, and our landing was smooth. I grabbed my bag thanked the pilot, paid him, and went inside to find the next scheduled flight to Fairbanks. I didn't get the answer I wanted.

"Sir, the next scheduled flight is the day after tomorrow."

"Are there any charter flights that can take me there?"

"Yes sir, there are several reputable charter outfits that I can recommend. However there is a strong weather front coming in from the southeast, and I would advise you to stay over at least one night."

"Where is the weather service on the airport so I can check in with them?"

"They are co-located with the tower; you can't miss it when you walk outside."

*****

After speaking with the weather people, I spoke with two pilots who turned me down. I spoke to a third who had a twin-engine aircraft, and said he would take me, as long as I was ready to go immediately.

I showed him my bag and told him I was ready to go.

He hastily filed a flight plan with the tower at an altitude of 14,000 feet, started the engines, and taxied out to the runway. One aircraft landed, and we were on our way. The GPS homed in on Fairbanks at a heading of 165 degrees and 15 minutes later we were at our assigned altitude, bumping along. He had the airplane on automatic pilot, for the 500-mile trip to Fairbanks. I'm not a fan of country music, but Michael was, and I wasn't going to argue with him. We were cruising at 180 knots, and you could see the storm front moving in from the southeast.

Michael told me not to worry about it because we would be on the ground, in Fairbanks, before it arrived.

He was wrong by 55 miles, or about 13 minutes flying time. It felt like we were being hit by mini-tornadoes every other second. According to the GPS we were making very little headway, but Michael insisted on battling the storm head on. Then we started losing altitude. I looked over my shoulder and there was ice on the forward portion of the wing. I told Michael and he looked over his shoulder and saw the same thing on his side. He said the deicing boots were not working properly.

He still insisted on battling the storm head on, but I told him again if he went southwest, the winds would help push the ice off the wing tips, and we would gain some forward speed.

He asked me how I knew this would happen.

I told him I was a scientist.

As we passed through 10,000 feet above the ground, he said 'Fuck it,' turned to a heading of 235 degrees, which put the winds at the aircraft's beam.

Within minutes the ice on his wingtips began breaking off, but it was having no effect on my side. We were losing altitude but not as fast, and there was still ice on the starboard wing.

When shit happens, it always happens in bunches. The port side engine began smoking, and then burst into flames. He went through the procedure to put out the fire, and feathered the engine. He called in a distress signal to Fairbanks, and gave them our GPS location, altitude, heading, and souls on board.

We started losing altitude more quickly, but we received a few blessings in return. We broke out underneath the cloud layer. The winds were calmer, and decisions could be made more rationally now.

The ice came off the wing on my side of the aircraft, as the temperatures rose. The aircraft's wings were now in level flight.

All we were looking at was dense forest below us, and mountainous terrain west of us; we realized there was no level area to try to put the aircraft down safely.

Michael said, "If you believe in God Doc, now would be a good time to start praying."

When you believe you are about to die the stupidest, and most insane things go through your mind. Michael could not understand why I laughed.

I said him, "You agree that we have no chance of surviving this impact, correct?"

"Doc if we do, for your next trick you can walk on water."

"I want you to try something, and you are going to think I am crazy for mentioning it. Just before impact depress the left rudder as hard as you can and turn the plane hard to the left, lifting the right wing. I want to try to hit the trees tail first."

"You are out of your fucking mind."

"You are absolutely correct. A woman told me a very bad joke on our way up to Fairbanks. I want to see exactly how bad that joke was. She said, 'You have never heard of an airplane backing in to a mountain.' I want to see if we can back this aircraft into some trees."

"What the hell, we have absolutely nothing to lose. Shit, fire warning light number one. I'm feathering the engine. We are at 800 feet, 90 knots, and descending. Let's look for a nice flat group of trees Doc. I'll meet you in heaven or in hell."

"I'd like to meet my daughter first. Let's meet on the ground instead."

"There's a nice group of trees Doctor. I'm going to put the flaps out to slow us down some more. 1000 yards, 300 feet, 70 knots, brace for impact."

"Good luck, I'll see you on the ground."

"Good luck Doctor, 200 yards, 50 knots. 100 yards, 50 yards, here we go, turning hard left rudder."

IMPACT!

********************

16. IT'S A DREAMY CREAMY DAY

Rod walked in the front door with what appeared to be scuba diving gear on his back. In front of him were his children lined up in military fashion, with Delicious standing and smiling behind them. He put down his briefcase and his jacket and waited.

Delicious said, "Colonel Jeffrey, BEGIN."

Rod smiled. He took a hose attachment from the canisters, pointed it at Delicious, and yelled, "CHARGE!"

His children dispersed as he depressed the trigger on the hose. Whipped cream shot out the front of the hose under high pressure directly at Delicious.

Delicious screamed, turned, and tried to get away. He chased her through the living room, den, and kitchen of his home. He trapped her in the corner of his kitchen and buried her under whipped cream. He continued shooting it at her until the tanks ran out of the compressed air.

Rosalynn laughed and took pictures as quickly as she could, because Rod told her she was in for a treat when he got home.

Rod said, "Are you going to allow Delicious to eat all that whipped cream by herself General Jeffery?"

"No Mister President, we are going to help her all we can."

The six children, including the one-year-old, dove in to the pile of whipped cream, under which Delicious was covered.

As she uncovered her face, blew the whipped cream out of her mouth and nose, she asked, "Who made you president?"

"Didn't you know there was an election? I bribed all the children to vote for me, instead of their mother?"

"What did you bribed them with a swimming pool?"

"What good is a swimming pool in the winter? Kids, where are we going on vacation?"

As one they yelled, "We are going to Disney World."

"Roz, you are going to stay home with me; right."

Rod said, "Delicious, I will start force-feeding you every drop of the whipped cream if you start up again."

"Rod, do you really believe I am going to allow you to get away with this. You know this means war."

Rosalynn said, "No, it ends right here. Delicious you had your fun, and Rod, you got even in a very big way. I congratulate both of you on your successes. However, now it stops. Do you both hear me, because if either one of you doesn't, I will get even with both of you in ways that will hurt you severely.

Rod you know what I will do to you if you don't abide by my rules, especially after you have just been fixed. You don't want that to happen, do you?

Delicious, I love having you around, and my children adore you. I would hate to stop you from coming here, but I will. Are we all on the same page now?"

Delicious said, "Yes, I promise I will stop, no matter how much it hurts me."

Rod agreed. "Yes dear, I refuse to face a fate worse than death."

Roz said, "Good, now you two kiss and makeup."

Delicious slipped as she was trying to get up, and Rod tried to help her. She slipped again and pulled Rod down with her into the whipped cream.

Rod yelled, "Roz, she did that on purpose. I know she did. Look at her she's laughing at me."

"Rod, I'm laughing at you too. It doesn't mean I'm doing it on purpose, does it?"

Rod said, "No." As he attempted to stand up, he put his hand on Delicious' head, and forced her down into the whipped cream.

Delicious yelled, "He did that on purpose, you saw it."

"That is enough children. The next word out of either of you and your punishment begins."

*********

As the adults were cleaning up the mess made by the whipped cream, Jeffrey ran into the living room.

"Daddy, Uncle Even is missing."

"No Jeffrey, Uncle Even is in Alaska."

"Yes dad, but his airplane is missing. They say so on the television."

Rod ran into the den, but missed the part about Even being missing. He called the Denver Post to see if he could get more on the story.

The reporter from the Post told Rod that information was very sketchy. The Fairbanks Tower received a distress call from the aircraft he was on, when it was 55 miles northwest of the airport, with one engine out. It was in rough weather and losing altitude. That was the last call from the aircraft. Search parties will be sent out as soon as the weather clears. That's all the information they received from the newswires.

Rod hung up the phone looking like a ghost. When he turned Delicious said sternly, "He is not dead. I won't let him be dead. It's too important to me for him to be alive. He has a damn girlfriend for the first time in his life. I won't let him die before he has a chance to fall in love with her. I won't let that happen. I just won't let that happen. Rod, I want to go home. I want to work on his program. That's what he told me to do. I want to finish it before he gets back here. I will be fine by myself. I will be working, and I will be fine. He is not dead. He can't be dead. I will not allow him to be dead."

Rosalynn went over to comfort her, but Delicious backed away.

"He's okay Roz. I know he's okay. He can't be dead. It's too soon. I'm going home."

Delicious picked up her purse, walked out the front door, started the car, and went home.

Rosalynn said, "If he's dead she is going to crack like a pane of glass."

Rod could not tell his wife what he knew, but if Even was gone he would be the one to have to explain to Delicious that it was her father that died in that plane crash, not her uncle as she thought. He silently prayed not to have that conversation with her.

***********

Delicious was at sitting at her computer moments later when the telephone rang.

"Hello Director Meil, I know he's missing, but he is alive, I know it."

"Are you sure you don't read minds Delicious? How did you know it was me?"

"Your men were down here installing who knows what into every corner of this basement. Did you think Even and I didn't guess they would be putting microphones and cameras in here watching and listening to what we are doing? We will find them; we will disable them; but not just yet. We have more important things to do right now."

"I have people there who will be looking for him Delicious. They are good people, and they will not rest until they find him. I promise you, one way, or the other they will find him."

"He will find a way to walk out of those mountains and forests. He will find a road, follow a compass, and walk into a restaurant. He will order bacon, eggs, toast, coffee, and a newspaper for breakfast."

"It is very rough country up there Delicious. The chances of surviving a plane crash are not good. Keep your hopes up, but also be prepared for the worst."

"I'll bet you $100 he's alive."

"I have heard about your $100 bets, and you haven't lost one of them yet. I will take it in the hopes that you are right again."

"I did lose one bet, but that was to my uncle, so that doesn't count."

"Did he cheat?"

"Probably, but I didn't catch him doing it. Did you hear he has a girlfriend?"

"When did that happen?"

"I don't know. He hung up on me before I could claw it out of him."

"It's about time he let loose. I'm happy for him."

"So am I Director, so am I."

************

She was about to open the program but she stopped, and looked above her head. She knew it would be a perfect place to put a camera as well as over either of her shoulders. She put up her screensaver and went to find some high intensity lights.

20 minutes later, she walked back into the basement carrying four of them. She put one of them on her chair, and bent it to resemble a person sitting at the desk looking at the computer screen. She focused the remainder of the lights at the ceiling. She tied a piece of string to the lamp on the chair, and went to get the ladder. She placed it behind the chair, and picked up the string. She climbed up until she could reach the ceiling, and moved the string in an arc, in an attempt to see where a camera could be hidden and see over the person's shoulder sitting at the computer station. She found not one or two on the left side she found three. She disconnected the cables from each camera, plus the electrical connections, rendering them useless. She continued her search only at her station, and found a total of 12 cameras; and 4 microphones. The director was not taking chances on missing anything. She removed them, and put them at her uncles' computer workstation. As soon as she sat down and began to work the telephone rang. This time it was Stan.
"Delicious are you going to be a pain in the ass like your uncle?"

"I have been told that my ass is prettier than his."

"Young woman don't you start with me. I have known you for 12 weeks, and I don't like you."

"Rod has known me for 12 weeks, and he hates me most of the time. Tonight he tried to drown me in whipped cream."

"We want our cameras back."

"I don't have any use for them. You can take them all back, every single one of them; including all the other cameras and microphones you have hidden down here. If you do not do as I ask, I will expose your staff to high-frequency sound levels they won't ever hear, and they won't hear anything else ever again."

"You are going to be a pain in the ass."

"Stan what will the police say if I had them come here and show them all this high tech stuff that wasn't here before we went to Texas. Then we show them the tapes of the trucks coming on the property, without setting off the alarms. What do you think they would say about that Stan?"

"You do not have anything on the property that recorded us doing that."

"Did you see that new nodule above the elevator in the basement, Stan, the one with the mini camera in it? Did you look in the two lights at the entranceway? They have cameras in them. The microphones are in the bushes to the left and right of them. My uncle may act like a bumbling fool sometimes, but it is an act. No one as smart as he is let's men like you run rampant on his property."

"I'm going to kill that son of a bitch. I had no idea he was that sneaky."

"You better hope he's alive so you can kill him, or I may kill you myself for invading his privacy. I could have a warrant put out for your arrest for trespassing on private property, breaking and entering, and anything else the police can think of, but my uncle seemed to like you."

"You are as smart as your test scores indicated. We will pick up everything within next few days."

"Everything Stan; Rod has a friend who is a private detective. He will do a sweep of every inch of the basement and the house. If he finds one bug remaining anywhere, from the attic to the hot springs, you are in big trouble."

"I understand Delicious, everything will be taken out."

*******

17. UP IN THE TREES

I woke up. How about that, it worked. If I ever get a chance I must tell Jennifer about this experience. I must take stock of myself; let's see what's working and what's not working. I am bleeding from the top of my head, but not badly. My arms are moving, and I can move my legs. I don't have any pain in my back, and I can twist my shoulders. I am okay. I am in working order.

The aircraft is in a 70 degree down angle at the nose, and tilted 40 degrees to the left. We are in a copse of trees, but not entangled in them. I must be careful. The windscreen is broken, and I don't want to fall through it, or get cut up by the exposed jagged pieces of plastic.

Michael, I must check my pilot. I unstrap myself from my harness, and nearly fall on him. As I did this the aircraft shuddered and fell towards the ground a few feet. I regrouped and braced myself, as I tried to assess his condition. He is breathing, and his pulse is strong. He has no head wounds I can see, but there is a tree branch that punctured his door. It looks like it has penetrated his left side. That is going to be a problem. His left leg is really badly broken. It is almost like the letter L starting halfway down the calf. I must get him down to the ground and put a splint on that immediately. I have to tend to his wounds, but I have to figure a way to get him down to the ground without killing him first. I decide not to wake him up. He will be in pain soon enough. Why should I inflict it on him now?

I take my first good observation outside the aircraft, and luckily we are only about 20 feet above the ground. It may as well be a mile if I can't find some rope in the aircraft. Otherwise I will have to fasten some tree bark together and make a cord out of it. That will be a long and arduous task, and Michael will definitely wake up while I am doing it. I crawl to the rear of the aircraft to look for emergency supplies, and a medical kit. Both are attached to the bulkhead, and they are fully stocked. There are blankets, pillows, flashlights, matches, and a full survival kit also. Thank goodness Michael has his aircraft well supplied for emergencies.

I wrapped everything I needed together, and began moving forward. The aircraft lurched downward several feet and stopped. I fell and slipped forward towards the nose of the aircraft hitting my head against the rear seat. My head hurts like hell, but what was worse is I heard Michael groan. I immediately went to attend to him.

His eyes were closed, his pulse was still strong, but his leg had moved into a position that was worse than it had been before. I had to get him out of this fucking aircraft soon, or he would never be able to use that leg again.

I started back to get the supplies and the aircraft lurched downward again. This is getting tiresome, but it occurred to me that this was not altogether a bad thing. The lower the aircraft was to the ground the shorter the distance I would have to carry Michael down.

I braced myself behind my seat and began kicking at it as hard as I could. It didn't move. I realized I was beating on the wrong side of the aircraft to do any good. I moved to the pilots' side and started kicking. It didn't take long before the aircraft started to slide down between the trees. With one final surge, the aircraft plummeted the last eight feet to the ground. It rested on its nose and left wing. The creator was definitely on our side today, because for Michael's sake it was perfect.

I pulled the emergency supplies out of the aircraft and made a makeshift bed for him. I hoped when I moved him he did not wake up, because the pain would be excruciating.

In the survival kit was a small saw, which I used to cut the branch that had penetrated through Michael's door and into his body. I cut the branch on the inside of the door and opened it carefully. I unbuckled his harness, and gravity shifted him towards me. His eyes popped open, and he looked at me.

I smiled at him. "You are one great pilot. That was one hell of a maneuver. When you write it up for the federal authorities make sure they name it after you. You are alive, Michael, but you are seriously hurt. I have to get you out of this plane, and onto the ground. It is going to hurt like hell. Your leg is broken in at least two places, and a branch has penetrated your left side. In a moment you are going to hate God and me. Scream all you want, but this has got to be done now."

I didn't wait for his answer, or for him to ask me questions. I put an arm underneath his shoulders and an arm underneath his ass. I braced my boots against the edge of the doorframe, and pulled with all the strength in my body. He slid out of the aircraft and landed on top of me.

His screaming was probably heard in Fairbanks, and I did not blame him one bit.

I shimmied out from underneath his body, and brought the blanket to him. I shifted him as any nurse would do, and managed to get him on top of the blanket, and off the wet ground. He passed out due to the pain, and shock of coming out of the aircraft. I took advantage of the time it gave me to assess his wounds. I slit open his pant leg to see what I was up against. Sometimes I hate being right. His tibia and fibula were broken, and pressing against his skin. I had to make a splint, and set his leg.

I used the saw to cut four branches from low hanging trees. I measured and cut them to size against Michael's leg. I loosened the laces on his boot, and slowly pulled his leg as straight as possible. I placed the branches inside his boot, and ran them along both sides of his leg. I used gray tape to seal the top of his boot and branches together. The Ace bandages from the medical kit were just long enough to wrap one-half of his leg. It took all six of them to wrap his entire leg tight enough, but not cut off the circulation. I knew this would not last long, but it would hold for now.

This most pressing problem corrected, I opened Michael's coat to see how deep the branch penetrated into his abdomen. Finally, we received a bit of good luck. The branch hit his ribs and did not penetrate into the core of his body. It felt as if two of his ribs were broken, but that could be dealt with at a later time.

When Michael regained consciousness I gave him some water. He called me some very interesting family names, and used some Eskimo words I am sure were about my family heritage also, but I accepted each and every one of them cheerfully.

I handed him two pain pills, and told him to be nice to me, or those would be the last he ever saw.

He apologized profusely, and asked what our situation was. I gave him a brief summation.

I told him I had to strip some bark from the trees and wrap his leg in it, because the ace bandage would not hold his leg in position well enough while we walked out of here.

He laughed. "Doc, I don't think I'm walking anywhere."

"No Michael, I'm walking you are riding."

"What am I riding in?"

"Let me fix your leg first. I will make you a conveyance when that's done. You do have the toolbox and the airplane?"

"The FAA requires it in Alaska."

"In that case we will be out of here in four hours."

"In your dreams, Doc."

"How much would you like to bet?"

"Is a dollar too rich for your blood?"

"In this situation Michael, it sounds just about right."

*********

It took me an hour to strip enough bark off the trees to wrap Michael's leg and tie it on securely. The bark would start to shrink because of his body heat and hold the sticks tight against his leg. As long as he was not bleeding internally, he had a chance of keeping the leg, and continuing to fly.

I pulled the toolbox from the aircraft to see what was in it. The first thing I removed from the aircraft was the compass. I needed wire and all airplanes have plenty of that available. I pulled out about 400 yards of it, and lay it on the side. I asked Michael if it was possible to open the wheel wells so I could remove the tires.

He looked at me as if I was crazy. I guess he remembered we were alive because of an insane maneuver we tried, so he told me how to do it.

As I looked at the wheel assembly, I decided to take the wheels and their yokes.

"Doc whatever you are making, you are making it very heavy for yourself to pull."

"Michael, I am the scientist, and the engineer; watch and learn."

The next thing I did was remove a seat from the aircraft, including the seatbelt. I could not have Michael falling out of the chair and injuring that leg any more than it already was.

I took the bolts from the chair, and threaded it through the top of the wheel yoke, adding wire in the space to make the connection tight. I did not have the convenience of an electric drill to make the holes the proper size for the nuts and bolts. I did the same with the other wheel. Michael was beginning to see the beginning of a rickshaw.

I cut two eight-foot long poles and attached them to the arms of the chair using the wire I had cut previously. I made a backpack for the rear of the chair out of the cloth of the seats, to place the tools and the medical kit in. I attached one side of a blanket to the poles. I had to wait to attach the other side, until Michael was sitting in the chair. I would use the poles to pull the rickshaw through the forest and up and down the mountainous areas to the safety of Fairbanks, which was hopefully not more than 70 ground miles away. We would have to find food to sustain us during the trip. I was not worried about water. I knew how to collect that easily enough. However, hunting is not part of my repertoire.

Now came the next hard part.

"Michael, I have to stand you up. I'm going to put you over my shoulder, and sit you down as easily as possible in that chair. Under no circumstances are you to put any weight on your left leg. If you do, I will kill you with your Swiss Army knife, and bury you here."

He laughed at me. "You talk a good game Doc, but you won't do it. Look at all the hard work you put into this contraption of yours. It would all be for nothing if you killed me."

"Stop being logical at a time like this Michael. Let's get you into that damn chair. My four hours is nearly up, and I don't like being made a liar."

I must have been getting tired, because he seemed a lot lighter the last time I picked him up. Then I realized I had not picked him up. I just pulled him out of the aircraft, and left him lying on the ground. I am going to have to have my memory checked when we get out of here.

I put him over my shoulder, and walked unsteadily, the 10 feet to my improvised rickshaw. I grabbed his ass, and sat him down in the chair. I noticed the color in his face had drained to white. I slid his legs onto the blanket, pulled it across to the other pole, and began tying it off. It went quickly, because he held his left leg up with his right, keeping the tension off the blanket. When I finished his face was sweating profusely. I gave him water and two more pain pills, even though it was not time for him to take them.

Using the remaining wire, I left a message on the ground near the aircraft: two survivors, one badly Injured. Heading south using wheeled vehicle. Help Us

I took the compass from Michael and took readings to see how badly the magnetic deviation was in the area was. Then I took a four-foot length of shielded cable from the aircraft and looped it through a screw opening in the compass module. I took the readings again to see if there were differences in the readings. There was none.

I turned to Michael and asked, "Where to sir?"

Michael replied, "Fairbanks please, and step on it. I don't want to miss the opening of the Opera."

"I can't afford another speeding ticket sir, but I will go as fast as I can."

It was 3 ½ hours since I made my four-hour prediction, and we were off on our adventure to reach Fairbanks. This time it was on foot, but at least we were alive, in good spirits and moving.

I looked at the compass, and set my heading due south. As long as we did not run into an impassable river or mountain, we would be fine.

I had not heard a peep from Michael in the last 20 minutes. I looked over my shoulder to make sure I had not lost him. He was sound asleep, and I was happy for him. My makeshift rickshaw was working out well. The wheels and wheel bearings were making pulling all the weight behind me easy, although I was beginning to tire. I wanted to move at least for two hours at a stretch before stopping for a rest. Maybe that would be good for tomorrow, but I did not take into consideration what we had just gone through today.

At 6 PM, after 90 minutes of walking, I was done. I could not move another step if I wanted to. I asked Michael how he was doing. He said his leg was throbbing and he was in pain.

"I have given you four pain pills over a five hour time span Michael. Can you hold out for a few more hours? We don't know how many days we are going to be out here, and we only have 12 pills left."

"Sure Doc, what the heck could go wrong next? I just don't want to see that bear like in the movie."

"Michael, if you see that bear it's been awful nice knowing you."

"I guess you've never seen a one legged sprinter before have you Doc?"

"I wasn't going to sprint; I was going up into the trees. These branches aren't stout enough to hold a full-grown bear."

"How long do you want to hold up here?"

"I want to get some sleep, and rest my legs. Figure we will be here 3 to 4 hours at the most."

"Let's eat first, and then you can go to sleep."

"We have food?"

"Sure, it's in the blue sack by my feet."

I reached into the sack and pulled out two bags of Trail Mix. I looked at Michael and said, "This is food?"

"If you don't eat anything today, tomorrow that will look like caviar."

"I don't like caviar either. I threw him a bag, sat down with my back against a tree, and started feeding like a squirrel. I do not like Trail Mix. I read the nutritional components, the ingredients, and everything else down to the expiration date. I decided I still did not like TRAIL MIX. However, nutritionally it would get me through the next few days. I fell asleep against that damn tree and woke up with a backache.

********

Something kept hitting me, and it wasn't always in one spot. I lifted my head up just in time to catch one in the jaw.

"Michael, if you do that again I'm going to leave you here."

"Quiet Doc, we have a visitor?"

"Friend or foe?"

"Dinner for a week."

"Where is it?

"20 yards behind the tree you're leaning against."

"What is it?"

"It is a yearling deer, possibly strayed ahead of her mother or she was killed."

"How am I supposed to kill a deer with my bare hands?"

"It would be better if you use the knife in the survival kit. Get up slowly, walk very quietly, and don't make a sound."

Michael was a scant five feet from me so getting to the survival kit was nothing. I opened it, found the six-inch knife, and withdrew it. I turned and saw the deer. Shit, it was Bambi. It had fewer spots, and was a little taller.

"What do I do now Michael?"

"It's survival time Doctor. Make up your mind that this little animal is going to be our ticket home. Get as close to it as you can. Either throw the knife at it, or lunge at it and drive the knife home to kill it. The best way is to slit her throat."

"I have never killed anything in my life, not even in a laboratory."

"This is not killing. This is survival of the fittest. She survives or we do."

The forest is a myriad of moss, twigs, tiny creatures you can't see but can hear. Prey and predatory animals. Suddenly, I was thrust into the role of a predator. I had no skill in this particular role. I moved from one tree to the next, and the next, without startling the little creature. It munched gracefully on flower tops and grass as if its life would last forever. Her mother might be around here somewhere close by. One sound from her and it was over in an instant. This little girl would be gone, fleeing in terror.

I was within six feet of her, with one tree blocking my path, and her sight line of me. She lifted her head and looked around. I stopped breathing and waited for her next move. She took two steps towards the tree that blocked our view of each other and began eating mushrooms.

I took one long stride from my position towards that tree and stopped again. I couldn't see her, which meant she couldn't see me. I looked towards Michael. He nodded his head slowly.

I gripped the knife tightly in my hand. I said, "I'm sorry little girl." Without moving my feet I reached around the tree and plunged the knife into the little deer's' chest.

She fell. She was making a pitiful sound. She was in pain, kicking her feet and thrashing around. I did what Michael told me to do. I removed the knife from her chest, and I slit her throat from ear to ear. As she bled out, I turned away, and vomited everything I had ever eaten in my entire life. I was a murderer. I had killed an innocent animal so we could survive. I heaved until there was nothing left in me to give back to mother earth in payment for the young life I had taken. I said a silent prayer of mourning and cried.

Michael yelled, "Get the fuck up, grab her by her rear legs and drag her here."

All I wanted to do was to give this poor little animal a good Christian burial.

I dragged her over to Michael, and he began the process of eviscerating her. I couldn't watch him do it.

I dug a deep hole with my back turned to him. He shouted at me to put everything into the hole. I brought him a whole animal. In return he gave me pieces: a head, the chest wall, hips, thighs bones, the leg bones, and bones I could not catalogue. The man should have been a butcher. When he was finished with her, if we had 15 pounds of meat it was a lot. I covered the hole with dirt and moss to hide the smell of blood.
I used the antiseptic wipes to clean the blood off Michael. I cleaned off the blood that was on the rickshaw. I didn't want anything following us because of that smell.

The only plastic bag we had was where the trail mix was. I gladly made that exchange.

"Doc, we have to put some miles between us and this spot. Wolves, big cats, and bears can smell blood for miles. We shouldn't be anywhere around here when they arrive.

I didn't argue with him. I made sure we had everything we brought with us, checked my compass, and headed out on a southerly course again. My stomach hurt like hell. I couldn't get the death of the tiny deer out of my mind. I wanted to live. I wanted Michael to live. I wanted that deer to live.

The scientist in me told me that choices were not always easy. Medicine was the same way. Those who could afford care got it. Those who couldn't just suffered or died. Life was cruel that way.

I didn't stop after two hours because the terrain was exceptionally rough, and we did not put a lot of distance between where we were and where we had been. I continued on until I was exhausted and then stopped.

"Now you'll be happy you killed that dear Doctor. Its meat will give you enough energy to go on. I wish I could help you, but I'm stuck in this damn chair with my ass hurting like hell. I would do anything to lie down."

"You can lie down anytime you want Michael."

"Now you tell me you son of a bitch."

"The bark has dried sufficiently to hold your leg in place. As long as you don't put any pressure on it I can stand you up, move the rickshaw, and lie you down on a blanket."

"Remind me to kill you when this is over."

"Okay, but I won't be able to buy you a new airplane if you do."

"You are going to buy me a new airplane?"

"As long as you don't kill me I will."

"I will protect you with everything I have Doc."

"At this moment Michael, that is not a very comforting thought."

********

I made a small fire and roasted several pieces of deer meat. Venison has a taste all its own. If anyone ever tells you it tastes like chicken, hit them, because it is not true. It is very tender, with no fat at all. It is almost like veal, but has a gamy taste to it. I made a promise to the little girl who gave her life for me, not to eat venison when I was back in civilization.

I'm not sure why I did it, but that night I made several spears for us to use, just in case we had visitors, because of the smell of roasted meat. I also made a picket line of fireplaces. I could light them quickly to scare off any animal that approached us if necessary. It wasn't necessary. The night was peaceful and quiet. I slept for a full seven hours, and when I woke up, Michael was still fast asleep. I cooked meat for breakfast; and to chew on, while I was walking.

We started our second day under darkened conditions, knowing that above us somewhere that storm front was still causing havoc. The tops of the trees were not visible because of the clouds or fog, but at least it was not raining. The trees were blocking the fierce winds we could hear howling above us. Still, the footing was treacherous. The ground was wet, and the rickshaw was heavy. Going uphill was difficult. Going downhill was worse, because I could not control the speed.

Michael was hysterical. "Driver, oh driver, could you be more careful please. I spilled some tea on my dress. You are going to have to pay to get it dry cleaned."

As I struggled with the rickshaw I answered politely, "Fuck off Michael."

"May I quote you sir?"

"Eat my shorts Michael. Either that or you get up here and drive."

Every time we entered a relatively flat area of the forest, Michael seemed to become quiet. When I checked him his pulse was not as strong as it had been, but he was hanging in there. I hoped it was the effects of the pain pills. I was giving him one every six hours. He was not complaining about his leg as much. In medicine this was not always a good sign.

After my fourth two hour walking session, I settled us down for the evening. A persistent drizzle started earlier today but we made a decent amount of progress. I wished I had some visual cues to make reference to, but these trees blocked everything from site. I didn't dare try to climb one, because if I fell and hurt myself, both Michael and I would surely die out here in the wilderness.

I settled Michael underneath the bows of a huge spruce tree and the ground underneath it was nearly dry. I set up our campfire, made our dinner, and with very little talking, I fell asleep.

I dreamt of my daughter sitting at home worrying about me. I dreamt about what type of father I would have been for Delicious growing up. I was so driven during my 20s to prove to my father that I was someone to be proud of nothing else mattered. I worked tirelessly to gain recognition, power, and money to make him proud of me. I never succeeded, not even until the day he died.

He hated me for leaving Maine and not working with him at the paper mill. Would I have been that type of father? Would I have hated Delicious for succeeding where I had not dared to go because of my father? I hoped not. I wondered what was written in Divines diary. I had to live to see what she wrote about us, about me and about our baby. Our baby, how did that happen? I had to live to find out how that miracle of birth happened.

********

We now entered our fourth day. Michael wasn't well but he was still hang in with me. Our friendly banter had ceased, as weariness had taken hold of both of us. My two-hour shifts continued but I was not making as much distance each day as I made the day before. I was halfway through my third two-hour shift, and my legs were leaden. The forest was so dense we had yet to break out into a clearing to see the sky. We had not seen or heard an aircraft or helicopter looking for us. It would not have made a difference because we could not signal them if we wanted to.

I was working on math problems to take my mind off the pain of walking. I was thinking about a project I had in my mind for the near future and it was working out very nicely. I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing, and nearly crossed over a dirt road, without realizing the significance of it. It was not a paved road, but it was definitely a road. It headed southeast, and it was heavily forested on both sides. It could have been a firebreak, but I didn't care. It was a road, and I knew it would eventually lead us to civilization.

I yelled to Michael, "We are on a road. I can see the sky." It was gray and menacing. I began moving faster down this open corridor of life.

When something good happens to you, something bad is sure to come up and bite you in the ass. A few hours later, it started to rain. It was not a sprinkle, or a drizzle. It was a downpour. I went to cover Michael with the spare blanket, and wondered why he didn't wake up when the rain started to come down heavy. He was burning up with fever. I had to get him to a doctor or a hospital as quickly as possible or I was going to lose him. His leg must have become infected. He must be bleeding internally, and I did not know where. We had gone through too much together, and I did not want to lose him now. Please God don't let him die, I'll do anything you want just don't let him die. He saved me, please save him.

I pulled the hood of my parka over my head, grabbed the handles of the rickshaw, and began jogging down the muddy road.

I am a sedentary human being, a scientist. I sit in my laboratory and look to create new things. I use my head, not my body. I am already exhausted after nearly four days of walking in the wilderness. My mind does not believe my body can go on, but on this day, for some reason, it does. My body reacts like that of an athlete, with years of training. It does not tire as it normally would as I jogged and walked down this road for mile after mile, pulling the rickshaw with my dying friend in it. I will not let him die. I ask God with every step I take to let Michael live, and to let him fly again. I forgive him for cutting up the tiny deer that has kept up feed for the past four days, but it will mean nothing if you do not live Michael.

I keep looking for any sign of life. At times you cannot see 10 feet in front of your face. At other times the rain pauses, gives you a brief respite and you could see a few hundred yards ahead of you.

During one of those brief interludes I thought I saw something. Then I saw it again. Smoke, smoke was coming out of someone's chimney. It could not be too far away if I could see it in this weather. I continued jogging/running down the road, pulling Michael towards that promising sign.

Lights, I see lights in the windows of a huge two-story house up ahead. It could only be a quarter mile away, if I can see it in this rain.

There, I can see a car in the driveway! Someone is home. Thank you God, thank you so much for helping my friend.

Moments later, I run up the driveway towards the front door. I pull the rickshaw up under the portico to get Michael out of the rain. I opened the hood of my parka, and pounded on the front door calling out for help. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect this person to open the door.

She said, "Can I help you?"

I looked at her in total surprise, "Jennifer, it's me Even. The pilot of my aircraft needs a doctor desperately. Do you have a phone?"

She screamed with joy, and grabbed me. "Even, you're alive? Everyone thought you were dead. Come in, make your phone call. Bring your friend inside."

I made the call to emergency services. Jennifer had to tell them where we were, because I had no idea. They were dispatching a helicopter to get us, even though the weather was marginal at best.

While we waited for the helicopter, I tended to Michael. I removed his outer clothing, and used a knife, and scissors to cut away everything from his injured leg. He was soaked with sweat. I stripped him down to his bare skin. I asked Jennifer for a bucket of water, alcohol, and towels so I could try to cool him down.

She delivered everything to me with lightning speed.

Gordon came out to see what was happening.

Jennifer told him to go back to his room.

"No mommy, I want to watch.

I told him everything I was doing and why.

He nodded his head, and seemed to understand.

I worked on Michael as if this was an everyday occurrence in my life. I asked Jennifer if she had any news about our returning to Denver, to get the horror out of her eyes.

When she regained her equilibrium she said, "Even, you didn't have to get in an aircraft accident, and walk into my home like this to impress me. You could have called and asked me."

"I am anything but ordinary Jennifer. When we get married you will find that out very quickly. The only reason Michael and I are alive is because of your father's story. We did a maneuver at the last possible second before we crashed. We spun the aircraft around and crashed tail first into the trees. It saved me, and if we get Michael to the hospital in time, it will save him also."

"You are kidding with me Even. You didn't do that?"

"When Michael wakes up ask him if I am lying. I don't lie. Well that's not true. I lie to my niece just to drive her crazy. I will not lie to you Jennifer. I will never cheat on you or lie to you. I swear on my sister, who I loved, I will never do that to you."

"Even here is my local number. As soon as they finish checking you out at the hospital, you better call me. I don't think I have ever had a proposal quite as interesting or romantic as yours."

"When I introduce you to my friends Rod and Rosalynn, you will think my proposal is very ordinary. What he did to her was absolutely outlandish. How soon would you like to get married?"

"We haven't had that dinner yet?"

"That's true, and there's one more thing I have to tell you. I just found out that the young girl I thought was my niece is actually my daughter. I have no idea how that happened, but my sister left everything I need to know in her diary. I swear to you I never knowingly had sexual intercourse with my sister, and when I read her diary it will be the first time I will know how that happened."

"It's an 18 year old secret your sister left for you. She never hinted that her child was your child as well?"

"She never said one word. She told everyone that she lost her virginity at Cape Cod during spring break to Julius Mark, the man my parents forced her to marry. It was a terrible marriage from day one. I offered my sister everything to leave him, and come to live with me. She refused every offer I ever made. This must have been the reason why."

"I would think so Even. She was probably too embarrassed to tell you what she did."

"Are you coming back to Denver with me so we can get married?"

"Are you going to wine me, and dine me before hand?"

"Is there a diamond store here in Fairbanks?"

"Yes there are several of them. There is also a Wendy's, and a McDonald's."

"I'm sure Gordon would love either of those for his dinner. For you, I was thinking of something a little better, with cloth tablecloths and napkins that match."

"I love sushi."

"You are going to love Delicious."

"Who is Delicious?"

"Delicious is my new daughter."

Jennifer was about to ask another question when the roar of a helicopter cut her off. This time I would not be denied. I said to Jennifer, "I wanted to do this when we got off the airplane in Fairbanks, but I was too timid." I took her into his arms, and for the first time in my life I kissed a woman passionately.

When we came up for air, Jennifer said, "That's not fair Even, you can't leave me this way."

"If you think it's not fair to you, just think about what it feels like for me. I have never done that before. I'll stop by tomorrow. Make sure you are packed because you and Gordon are coming with me to Denver. If your lawyers don't know how to take care of your estate problems, I'll send Rod here. He will tell them how to do it. Are you on the pill?"

"No, I'm Catholic; I'm not allowed to use any method of birth control."

"Wonderful, just wonderful, I always wanted a big family, but I never thought I would have one. I will start building an extension on the house immediately. There is no sense waiting until the last minute."

There was a pounding on the front door. I let the EMS team in, and pointed to Michael. I told them about the multiple fractures to his leg, the two possible broken ribs, and a very high fever.

One of the team wanted to check me out, but I refused. I ordered him to take care of Michael, because I did not want to lose him.

They put Michael on IV fluids, transferred him onto a gurney, and loaded him onto the helicopter. They had to force me into the helicopter with him.

I waved goodbye to Jennifer as they were closing the door, and yelled that she better be ready to leave in the morning.

She closed the door to her home, and leaned back against it. Even Luck was a steamroller when he wanted to be she thought. He was fun, he was honest, and he was the smartest man she had ever met. He was not after her money, which most of the men she met were.

As she thought about her parents, she said, "I'm going back to Denver and getting married mom. Please be happy for me. He's not like dad. I know he made your life miserable at times with his philandering. He made both of us happy too, when he finally settled down and stayed with us. I don't think Even is that type of man. He waited a long time to find one woman, and that woman is me. I am really happy mom, really happy."

She went over to Gordon to tell him.

"Gordon, mommy is going to get married."

"I know you are going to marry the airplane man mommy."

"How did you know?"

"Mommy when they showed his picture on the television, and they said he was missing or dead in an airplane crash you cried and I had to hold you. Then he came here tonight, and he kissed you, you smiled. You don't let anybody kiss you, except me. So I know you will marry him. It was easy."

"Gordon, you are too smart for your own good. Your mommy loves you, and soon you going to have a daddy for the first time."

"What do I call him?"

"Why don't you talk it over with Even? You don't have to call him daddy if you don't want to. I'm sure that both of you can come up with a name you will both be happy with. Is that okay with you?"

"Yes, I guess so. I hope he has a computer I can play with, mine is broken."

Jennifer laughed. "I'm sure he has a computer. Whether you can play with it or not will be up to him."

************

18. A SHORT CALL HOME

I was in the emergency room waiting to find out about Michael's condition. I asked if I could make a long-distance call to let my daughter know I was okay.

A man dressed in black tapped me on my shoulder. "Hello Even, fancy meeting you here."

I turned and immediately recognized a friendly face. "Hello Shelby, what did you do wrong that he sent you up here?"

"Even, sometimes the director can't take a joke. This is my punishment. Would you like to use a telephone?"

"Have you spoken to him already?"

"No, I'll let him wait a little while. When he lets me go back to civilization, I'll start acting like a human being again."

"Are you sure you guys are working for the same team?"

"We always work for the same team. However, when it comes to internal politics we don't always see eye to eye. Make your call Even; she is probably sitting at the computer working on bending your radio waves."

"Does everyone know about my project?"

"Not everyone Even, just a select few hundred within our family."

"A select few hundred; I'm going to learn sign language."

"It won't help you; we are experts at that too."

***************

I dialed my home number and waited for an answer. It rang and rang and rang. I was about to hang up when she answered the phone.

"This better be important Rod, I was in the shower."

"Are you naked?"

"Yes, are you happy now?"

"Little girl, if that's going to be your attitude I'm going to hang up and not tell you I am alive."

"EVEN, UNCLE EVEN IS IT REALLY YOU?"

"No Princess it's not me. It's a chimpanzee imitating my voice."

"It's you, you're looking for a beating already."

"Your mother gave me permission to call you before she beats the shit out of me. This is a very long distance call."

Delicious laughed. "I told you Uncle Even, if anyone could figure out a way to make a phone call that long distance, it would be you. Are you alright, is everything where it belongs?"

"I am at the hospital in Fairbanks. They just finished checking me over, and I am fine. I am waiting for the results of the tests on my pilot. He got banged up pretty severely in the accident. I was able to walk us out and got help. Baby girl how are you? You know you should put a towel or a robe on, because I can see you. I'm using one of their telephones, and the clarity of the cameras they put in our house is magnificent. Is that a birthmark on your butt cheek or dirt?"

Delicious screamed. "You pervert"; as she dashed back into the bathroom.

"Don't bend over like that, Delicious. It makes me want to give you more than an injection in your backside."

"They put cameras in here too? Wait until Stan comes here to remove them; I'm going to kill him."

I laughed, "Delicious, you are too easy."

"You bastard, did you just do it to me again?"

"Did I do what to you again, my dearest niece? I'm adjusting my hearing aids."

"I've been worried sick over you since we heard your plane was missing. Now you are going to wish you had never walked out of that forest. I am going to exfoliate you, hair by hair, until you are bald from head to toe."

"Can it wait until after my wedding?"
"Who are you marrying the pilot?"

"No, her name is; no you don't deserve to know her name."

"Uncle Even, if you want to live to say the words 'I do', you better give me some information, or never step foot in the state of Colorado again."

"I'll think about your threat and call you back."

"Uncle Even don't you do this to me. Who is she?"

"Are you going to be nice to her?"

"Of course I'm going to be nice to her. I may kill you for torturing me this way, but I am going to be nice to your wife."

"She is a great mother, Delicious; and a really wonderful woman. I met her on my way up to Fairbanks. I fell in love with her when I looked into her eyes. She has a four-year-old son named Gordon. Her name is Jennifer Stars. She lives in Brighton, 45 miles northeast of Denver. I'm sure you'll love her, and Gordon is a real trip. We were sitting in the aircraft and Gordon stands up, looks me straight in the eyes, and asked, "How much money do you make?" Jennifer was aghast at that statement, but it was fun. We wound up having a very good time."

"What does she look like?"

"She comes straight from heaven. Her hair and eyes are as black as coal. Her skin is as white as snow. She is about five foot seven, with a very nice figure. I kissed her tonight."

"That is wonderful Uncle Even, absolutely wonderful. When are you coming home?"

"I want to wait to see what happens with Michael. I hope to be able to leave sometime tomorrow. I'm going to rent a private jet to take us directly to Denver if one is available."

"Would you like me to make sure one is available for you?"

"Yes Delicious, do that for me. If you have to, have one sent up from Seattle. It doesn't matter what type of aircraft, just have a jet here for me tomorrow, and tell the crew we may be delayed a few days before departure."

"You got it Uncle Even. I am so happy that you are alive. I just won another $100."

"What sucker did you take it from this time?"

"Director Meil."

"Wow that was a good win. That $100 should cover part of the tirade you had last week, or did you remember to put that money into the pretzel jar, as you were honor bound to do, the moment you walked into the house."

"I wasn't thinking about the pretzel jar when I walked into the house. I was thinking about my missing uncle."

"You have to get your priorities straight baby girl. Money always comes first, then water and food. After that you can think about relatives.""

"Uncle Even, you are so full of shit."

"That will be $10 please."

"I hate you when you trick me into doing that. It's just not fair."

"Would you call Father McAuley for me? Ask him if he has time available to perform a wedding this weekend? I want to be a daddy as soon as possible."

"You don't have to be married to become a daddy."

"Yes I know, but I would like to do it the right way the first time around."

"Doesn't she have to come off the pill and wait a while before she can get pregnant?"

"No, Jennifer is like Rosalynn. She has never used any type of birth control. We are going to have more children then Roz and Rod have. We are going to start building an extension to the house immediately."

"Hold on for a moment Delicious; the Doctor is here."

I shook hands with Doctor Reed. "How is Michael doing Doctor?"

"You were correct Doctor Luck. His fibula and tibia are both fractured and broken. Two of his ribs are broken, and one is severely bruised. He was bleeding inside his leg because of a crushed artery. We were able to seal that off. The big problem, as you said, is the leg. We don't have the type of equipment here to do the kind of surgery he needs to save it. He doesn't have the insurance or the money to pay for the transportation to get him down to Seattle or Portland to get the proper care."

"Doctor, money is the least of his worries. Whatever he needs, I will take care of it."

"We need to get this infection under control, before we can do anything else. As soon as that happens, we have to get him to a good Orthopedic Hospital. I have never seen a leg that mangled in all my years as a surgeon."

"Do you have a hospital in mind?"

"No but I have a doctor in mind. Let me find her and if she is a reasonable distance away, she would be Michael's best chance."

"Doctor Reed, spare no expense. Michael saved my life. I want him to be able to fly again. He can't do it with one leg. Find that Doctor, and find her soon, please. Bribe her, if necessary, but ask her to take Michael as her patient."

************

"Delicious, are you still there?"

"No, I'm on my way to Bermuda."

"So that's why you bought those bikinis."

"Yes and the giant size tubes of sunscreen. What would you like me to do Uncle Even?"

"Do you know how to use a computer?"

"Do you want me to burn this one down?"

"It's okay with me, it's insured. The work that's inside it is in the safe. I'm sure there are many young women in jail that would love to make your acquaintance."

"Are you running out of things to say to me Uncle Even?"

"I guess I'm lonely. I haven't had a good argument with anyone in over a week. I miss it."

"Don't run away next time. I made the mistake not you."

"No Delicious, the only thing you did was hurt my pride. I am the great and powerful Even Luck. No one can break my ciphers; no one can break my codes. No one that is until you entered my life. I reacted like a three-year-old and ran away screaming, 'I don't love you anymore'; when what I really meant to say was, "I couldn't love you anymore if I tried. You mean the world to me and I acted like a fool. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Only if you forgive me first Uncle Even."

"Gee whiz, those cameras they put in our house are really good. I can see that thing just above your pubic..."

"EEEEVVVVVVVVVEENNNNNNN..."

**********

19. BUYING A 'BLOODY RING'

"Hello Jennifer, it's me Even."

"Hello Even, what did the Doctor say?"

"I am fine, but Michael is really messed up. They are trying to find an orthopedic surgeon, who is the best in the business. Once they find her, I'm going to fly him to wherever she is and have her take care of his leg. Doctor Reed said it is his only chance of keeping it."

"Does that mean we're not going to Denver tomorrow?"

"I am picking you up in the morning at eight sharp. If I have to carry you and Gordon away in a sack, you are coming with me. If we have to make a detour to Seattle to drop off Michael we will. However you and I are one from tomorrow morning on. What size is your ring finger?"

"I think it's a 7 or 7 ¼."

"Would you like to pick out your diamond, or would you like to take 'Pot Luck', and wear the one your future husband picks out?"

"Even, a girls' best friend is a diamond. You can hardly go wrong buying one."

"Baby, a diamond is a piece of coal put under intense pressure for a long time."

"Even I see what you mean about not being ordinary. Do you want me to walk around with a piece of coal on my finger and wait for it to turn into a diamond?"

"No, I'm sure I'll find a stone you will like."

"I am positive you will. I have more faith in you then you have in yourself."

***********

"Shelby would you mind driving me around for a little while?"

"I know a nice diamond store about 5 miles from here. They have a good selection of loose stones they can mount in about an hour. You want a platinum setting with at least five prongs. You also want a wedding set that it will fit into."

"Were you listening into my conversation?"

He pointed to his ear and I saw the little bud sitting in his canal. "Why did you think I offered you my phone Even? The director wants to know everything you say and do, while you are up here."

I laughed. "So you are trying to get back to civilization by using me as your magic carpet?"

"Even do you know how cold it gets up here in the winter?"

"Do you remember I was up in Point Barrow for 5 months, from December through May? The average temperature was 22 degrees below zero, and I think that was inside the trailers. My toes didn't talk to me for 3 months after I returned to Colorado."

"Let's go shopping Even. I don't want to think about temperatures that low."

********

We walked into the diamond store, and every alarm in the store went off. I raised my hands above my head so they could see I did not have a weapon. However, the two guards with shotguns were not impressed.

They yelled, "Get on the ground with your hands and feet spread."

I didn't have to be asked twice. I was the most cooperative person they had ever seen.

All Shelby could do was laugh.

The guards asked him what he was laughing about.

Nonplussed he said, "If I wanted to, both of your asses would be dead, because of the way you reacted to this incident."

The owner of the store came out from the back not at all pleased with what Shelby said. He wanted to know why his guards had failed at their jobs.

Shelby responded, "I took an innocent civilian off the sidewalk and put him in front of me. I walked him into your store, and your alarms went off. Your guards came out and pointed their weapons at him. Meanwhile, I have my .45 automatic in my right hand. I take down both guards as they kill the civilian with their shotguns. I rob the store and walk out the back killing you in the process."

"What should my guards have done differently?"

"You should always have one guard in the front of the store, behind the counter where the door opens. The other guard stays in back. This way you have eyes front and back, plus you can see everything with your cameras. Two guards in the back do you no good, unless they are playing cards."

The owner said to the guards, "Do it."

The guards didn't question the owner. They split up and took their new positions.

"What can I do for you gentlemen?"

"My friend is getting married. He would like a 4 carat, or larger VVS1 blue white diamond, round preferably, anything but square or rectangular. If you have, he would like a wedding set included."

I looked at Shelby as if he was a gift from God. I had no idea what he said but it sounded wonderful.

The owner asked us to follow him into the back so we could enter the vault. All his large stones were there.

Diamonds were not the only thing in his vault. He had a few million dollars in cash in a cage, and he had gold: gold nuggets, and gold dust in another cage. Prospectors brought it to him. He assayed it, paid for it, stored it, and twice a month shipped it to dealers in San Francisco. He was a middleman. He made a profit buying from the prospectors. He made a profit selling to the dealers. There was no downside for him. If the price of gold went down too much, he held onto it, because gold is one of those rare metals that everyone has to use. From pharmaceutical companies to rocket makers, gold is a necessary evil, and there is a limited amount of gold to go around.

The owner took out a tray of diamonds, and I understood why women drool looking at them. They flash under the lights. They sparkle, and they show off every color of the rainbow.

Shelby pushed me out of the way. He put on a pair of white gloves and started pushing the diamonds around. The owner put a black mat next to him, and he started putting stones on it. In all he put seven stones on the mat and told the man these would do.

He asked for a jewelers loop and looked at each one individually, like a doctor surveying an x-ray. He found one and put it aside. He took off the loop, and set it down. He grabbed the owner by his tie, and pulled him to his nose.

"What are you doing with a Blood Diamond?"

The owner replied, "I don't deal in illegal diamonds. All my diamonds are laser tagged."

"Then you better explain this one to me."

The owner looked through the loop, and it was not tagged. He started to sweat. He said to Shelby, "I'll give you this one for free. Just don't tell anyone about it."

Shelby said, "You just made the biggest mistake of your life. If I find another illegal diamond in there, you are going to federal prison for the rest of your days."

He handed me his weapon, and told me if the owner made any suspicious moves to put one bullet into the middle of his chest, then he would take the gun back and kill him."

Shelby started looking through the diamonds, and started separating the legal ones from the Blood Diamonds. Within 5 minutes he had more than 20 of them selected. The owner looked like he was about to have a heart attack.

"Do you want to tell me anything, before I read you your Miranda rights? Remember I can't promise you anything, but it may help you, if you help us."

The owner said, "I can give you the suppliers in San Francisco and Miami."

"Who are they, who do they work for, and how do they move the stones?"

"If I tell you all that now I will have nothing to bargain with later."

"Do you see this man sitting here? His name is Doctor Even Luck. Before we leave here today you are going to make him a diamond ring for his fiancée. You will sell it to him at full price and give him a receipt. It will prove that he has been here and you have spoken to him. Your lawyer will be able to put him on the stand. He will bear witness to the fact that I spoke with you, and you gave me these people's names and other information. You will have been a helpful witness for the federal government. You will have helped us put criminals behind bars. The judge will take this into consideration and so will the federal prosecutors when it comes time to make sentencing recommendations. I will speak to them on your behalf personally."

For the next 15 minutes the owner of the store laid out the entire sequence of events that led from the diamond mines of Nigeria to Miami, Texas, San Francisco, and then the West Coast, from Los Angeles to Fairbanks. It was a tale worthy of a James Finder novel.

Shelby made three phone calls. One was local to other agents. Then he called the local police. The last was to Director Robert Meil.

"Good afternoon director, I have him by the collar."

"That's what I pay you for."

"Is that what you call that thing I get every month: pay? I think it's an insult to anyone's intelligence."

"Who said you were intelligent?"

"My mother did."

"Then go back to her."

"I can't you divorced her, and she won't talk to me anymore, because I'm a man."

"Is that my fault?"

"Well it certainly not mine."

"Why are you calling me besides that you have Even on a leash?"

"Blood Diamonds. We have a trail from Fairbanks all the way back to Nigeria. You are not going to believe who the head of it is in San Francisco."

"Who is it?"

"I'll tell you when I get back to Austin."

"You are not getting off the hook that easily."

"I called you what you are; a cock-sucking son of a bitch and you know it. You piss everyone off to keep them afraid of you. It's no way to run a company. It is no way to garner respect or loyalty. If you want to fire me, fire me. I am not staying in Fairbanks one more day then I have to. I like the action of looking for crooks and spies. If you don't want me doing it under your aegis, I'll go to the other company and do it for them. Dad get your head out of your ass and run this company correctly before you have to revolt on your hands and everyone goes elsewhere. We are the best undercover people in the world, because nobody knows we exist. Don't blow it."

"I have been waiting for you to grow a pair of balls for eight years Junior. I believe it has finally happened. How long will it take you to wrap things up?"

"There's nothing big up here. Probably a few days of paperwork that's all."

"Finish what you're doing and get down here. You will be my assistant for the next few months, and then I will retire. This company is yours to run as you see fit. I'm going to love it as you ass spreads like mine did. I liked the hunt, but there is more than footwork involved to keep our country safe. It's finding the right people for the right job, and keeping them on their toes. It's a big responsibility, because we at war with these people every day. That's why we have to stay invisible, and have to continue that way. Don't you ever forget that when you're sitting in this seat. The day you sit down, it becomes your seat, and the sign on the door means what it says: The Shit Stops Here."

"I quit. I don't want your job. I don't like your job. I will not take your job. I don't like paperwork. Mom will laugh at me if I take your job. You had this planned from the very beginning didn't you?"

"Listen to me Shelby; you have 2 months to get your act together down here. Then your mother and I are going on a cruise to Greece. Don't you dare fuck up those plans. She will kill you."

"You two are divorced. Why are you going on a cruise together?"

"Who told you we were divorced?"

"You did. Mom did. You both did. You told me you were divorced. You argued all the time when I was home. It was so bad I move out of the house."

"We finally got you out of the house didn't we?"

"You prick. You tricked me just to get me out of the house?"

"You were 26 years old. You had worn out your welcome. It was time for you to spread your wings and live on your own. We did it for your own good. How much longer was your mother going to wash your shorts? We haven't had an argument since the day you left."

"You are the perfect spymaster dad. I never had a clue. I will never be as good as you."

"You don't have to be as good as me. You have to be the best that you are. The men and women around you will keep this company Invisible."

"Okay Mister Director, I'll see you in a few days."

*********

"He is your father?"

"Is it that hard to believe?"

"Yes it is. You were always civil and brilliant. He was always rude, and grumpy."

"I guess after 22 years in that job it wears on you. Now, suddenly, it's mine."

"Apparently he's been grooming you for it for many years, and waiting for you to grow up."

"How did you hear that?"

I showed him a small piece of paper shaped like a megaphone that I had placed in my ear."

"Come on Even, your shiting me."

"You used high tech; I used low tech. However, while you were talking to your father, I got Jennifer her diamond ring."

"Did you pick it out, or did he."

"He did, but he showed me the laser tag engraving before he mounted it."

"How much did it cost?"

"$53,350 including the insurance and the certification."

"How large was the stone?"

"The stone was just over 5 carats and he threw in the setting for free. He didn't have a wedding set to go with it."

"I would ask to see it, but it's wrapped too pretty to open it."

**********

Shelby's friends showed up shortly after his phone call and seized all the diamonds in the store. They counted each one, and then recounted them. The local police arrived to find out what was going on. Shelby advised the Sergeant that they had impounded every diamond in the store because many of them were illegally imported Blood Diamonds. He needed the vault inventoried, sealed, and guarded, until the contents were taken away by an armored car to the federal building. Every video recorder was to be kept running 24/7, just in case someone with sticky fingers got tempted to walk away with some merchandise.

I told Shelby I would be fine, and he should take care of his business. I was going back to the hospital.

***************

20. A DINNER PROPOSITION

I left the store and walked towards the hospital. I was mulling over the events that occurred in the store, when someone beeped, and pulled up alongside me.

Jennifer smiled. "Hello stranger you look lost. Gordon wants to go to Wendy's for dinner. Would you like to join us, so I can tell you where to go, and how to get there?"

"As long as you are going to do it nicely, yes." I slid into the front seat of her Tahoe, and kissed her. Then I said hello to Gordon.
I asked Jennifer, "Are we considering this wining and dining you?"

"I don't think so."

When we walked into Wendy's it was packed. It took us nearly 5 minutes to reach the front of the line, and longer to get served. Jennifer carried the food while I carried the soft drinks, straws, ketchup, mustard, spoons, forks, napkins, salt, and pepper.

An elderly couple saw us looking for a table. They waved to us, and asked us to join them. We accepted gratefully.

Gordon, being the gentleman he is, asked if there was anything they would like from our trays. The couple declined.

I dropped a straw on the floor and bent down to pick it up. That's when I felt the lump in my pocket. I knew it was wrapped and that would not do, so I excused myself for a moment. Gordon asked if he could come along with me.

"Absolutely."

He took my hand and we walked to the men's room. I opened the door and we walked in. He looked around suspiciously. "This is the first time I've been in a men's room. I've always had to go with my mom. It's embarrassing for 4-year-old boy to go to the ladies room."

"Well Gordon, anytime we are together it will be my pleasure to escort you to the men's room. Do you have to use the facilities in here or did you just come to look?"

"I just came to look."

"I'm in here for a different reason too. Would you like to see it?"

"Yes."

I reached into my pocket, and pulled out the ring box. I unwrapped and opened the box. I showed Gordon the ring I was about to give to his mother. "What do you think Gordon, is she going to like?"

"I think Mommy's going to cry."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"This time it's a good thing. She cried when her mommy died. It was a bad thing that time."

"Did you help mommy when she cried?"

"I did the best I could."

"I'm sure it helped her very much Gordon. I think she's going to need your help tonight too. When she cries will you hug her for me?"

"Yes."

"Thank you Gordon I think that will help mommy a lot."

I held the ring box in my hand as we walked towards our table. Gordon moved towards his seat as I stopped in front of Jennifer. I looked into her eyes and could not believe how lucky I was. I knelt down on both knees in front of her and her mouth opened in shock. The noise in the restaurant ceased and all eyes turned towards us. I found it hard to open my mouth, but I overcame my fears. I opened the ring box and said,

"Jennifer Stars you are the love of my life. I want you to live with me and love with me today, tomorrow, and all the years of our lives. I give to you everything that I am, everything that I have and everything that I will ever be. All I ask of you is this: Jennifer Stars will you marry me?"

There was no sound in the restaurant. The fryers were silent, the grill was silent, the bell at the drive through window was silent, and the cash registers were silent. Everyone and everything waited for Jennifer Stars to answer my question.

Her lips quivered, her eyes welled up with tears. She finally gathered up enough strength, and enough willpower to nod her head. Then she gasp "YES!" I slipped the ring on her finger, but I don't believe she looked at it. She put her arms around my neck and kissed me. I felt that kiss travel through every fiber of my being, and I never, ever wanted that feeling to end.

I never heard the crowd roaring and applauding our engagement. Gordon was yanking hard at my sleeve.

"You told me to hug mommy for you if she was crying. Look she's crying."

"You are right, Gordon. Your mother needs you now." I put him into his mother's arms, and she kissed every inch of his face as she hugged him.

"Mommy, I saw your ring before you did. I told dad you would like it."

"Is that what you two decide on? You're going to call Even, dad?"

"We didn't talk about it, but everyone else has a dad. He makes you happy, so dad is fine with me."

I smiled. "Gordon, since you are going to call me dad, is it okay with you if I tell everyone that you are my son? I would really like that a lot."

"I would like that too."

I picked up my root beer and said, "I would like to propose a toast. To the new Jennifer, and Gordon Luck, may we always be a happy, healthy, and loving family."

After everyone took a sip of their sodas, Jennifer asked, "Are you coming home with me tonight?"

I kissed her and shook my head. "I want to say yes to you more than anything I have ever wanted in my life. However the first time I make love with you we are going to be man and wife. I know it may sound old-fashioned. It may even sound ridiculous in this day and age. I want you more than I want air, but I want you as my wife first. I am Catholic by birth. I am agnostic by choice. I have had many long discussions with Father McAuley about religion. I have nearly succeeded in changing his mind, more often than he has succeeded in changing mine. He is going to wonder why I am going to confession before we get married. He is going to wonder why we are getting married in church. He is going to wonder about a myriad of things about me, but I am not. I know that marrying you before God is the one thing I want for us before I take you as a woman in our bed."

Jennifer's mouth was open in surprise, when the elderly woman sitting next to her said, "Miss if that is not an open declaration of love, I have never heard one. My husband and I have been married for nearly 47 years. Although both of us wanted to take that step just before we were married, we waited. It seemed like a year before our wedding day, but it was less than 2 months. Times may change, morals may change, but what your fiancé just said to you was the most wonderful present any bride should hope to receive."

Jennifer was nodding her head, while she continued to shed crocodile tears.

Gordon put his arms around his mother's neck. "It's okay mommy. You can hold on to me. It'll be okay in a minute."

He may have been 4 years old, but his mind was turning 40. He was the man of his family.

I was going to turn Rod loose on his biological father. He was going to give up all parental rights to Gordon, or suffer the wrath of a lawyer he should not have messed with. After that was completed I was going to adopt Gordon and he truly would be my son. Rationally I couldn't believe it. I have never knowingly had sex; but here I was, sitting at a Wendy's restaurant with my future wife, and my future son; while my daughter was sitting at home waiting for my return. If this wasn't as weird as crashing an airplane into trees backwards, I guess nothing else would be.

************

21. AN EVEN SPECIAL

Jennifer dropped me off in front of the hospital. I warned my son he'd better not oversleep, or I would put him in his pillowcase and take him to Denver in it. I told my fiancé I would take her anyway I found her.

Jennifer replied, "Promises, promises, I want more than promises from you."

"Sunday night my dear, I will give you everything I have been saving up since puberty. You may set a record for natural insemination."

"I have an answer for that, but my son is here."

"Our son is here, right Gordon?"

"That's right daddy."

"You men are as thick as thieves."

"That's because we play baseball."

She tried to hit me, but sitting in the car made her swing awkward. It did not make the kiss I gave her awkward at all. I sent them on their way, and I smiled until they were out of sight.

I walked in to the hospital and Doctor Reed came rushing towards me smiling. "Doctor Luck I found her and she couldn't be in a better place if I planned it. She is at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester Minnesota. It is the finest orthopedic hospital in this country."

"Does she have a name Doctor's?"

"I'm sorry I was so excited to find her I forgot to give it to you. Her name is Elsie Hillman. She has more credentials after her name you would need an extra page to write them down. I called her, and she will take Michael as a patient. I am forwarding all the x-rays and MRIs to her so she knows what she's getting into. You will have to get a medevac aircraft to transfer him there. Michael's temperature is down. I believe you will be able to transport him in the next 12 hours. Do you think you will be able to make arrangements in that time?"

"Doctor, I will move heaven and earth to make that happen. Can I see him?"

"Yes, he is in ICU on the 4th floor."

************

His eyes were closed as I approached him. I was at the side of his bed when I said, "I should have left you in the forest. You are turning out to be one expensive friend. I have to rent you a medevac jet to get you to the Mayo Clinic. There is a doctor there who may be able to save your leg. If she can't I'm going to shove that thing so far up your ass it will come out your mouth."

"Go screw yourself Even. I was resting peacefully, until you walk into this room."

"Is that any way to talk to the man who walked 40 miles dragging you in a self- made rickshaw, after you questioned my parental lineage, sex, and stamina."

"40 miles my ass, it was probably more like 2 or 3."

"It was 40. Don't ask me how they did it, but the Air Force tracked your GPS signal and located the aircraft. From the wreckage site to Jennifer's home is 39.53 miles."

"I told you it wasn't 40 miles."

"Michael if you are not nice to me I am going to hit you in that leg."

"Go ahead Even, they have me on so many painkillers, I can't feel my arms."

"Listen to me you asshole, I am paying for everything, from aspirins to the rehabilitation center after your surgery. All you have to do is get well. I will not be with you, but you will have access to my phone number, and the phone number of my attorney. If anyone gives you a ration of shit, call Rod or me. I swear to you that person will rue the day he spoke to you in an unkind manner. I will be in Denver getting married. I will not put that off for one second. I don't want to give Jennifer a chance to get to know me and change her mind."

"You have a good heart and soul Even. Anyone who would do what you are doing for me, a virtual stranger, has nothing to worry about by getting married. She is the lucky one, not you."

"I'm glad you feel that way, but you have not met my bride. I do not know what I did to deserve her, but I will do everything in my power to keep her happy."

"You have already started down that road Even. You asked her to marry you, and she accepted. She knows you are quite a catch, and she will try to keep you happy as well."

"I am going to send you aircraft magazines when you get to Rochester. Pick out the twin-engine aircraft that you want. It will be on the tarmac waiting for you to fly it back to Fairbanks, when you are able. Don't disappoint me Michael. I will put your head through one of its propellers if you are not able to fly again."

"I will work hard to make that dream come true Even. Flying is the only thing I ever wanted to do."

"Remember Michael, if you need anything, anything at all, call, and you will have it. Maybe the next time you decide to crash an airplane you should hit the right rudder instead of the left. The passenger will get hurt instead of the pilot."

"You think of that now, while I'm lying in this bed? Why couldn't you have thought of that while we were still in the air?"

"Who would have made the rickshaw, certainly not you? You didn't have a clue as to what I was doing."

"Get out of here Even, you are depressing me. Thank you for everything you are doing for me. Can I ask you one more favor before you leave?"

"Yes, I told you that you could ask me for anything."

"Could you get me a pretty nurse for the medevac ride to Rochester?"

"I will get you the prettiest one available, and that's a promise."

"Thank you Even, when she bends over me to take my blood pressure, I will pinch her tits."

"I wouldn't advise it Michael. Remember she is the one who will have the pain medication. She is also the one with very long needles."

"I told you to get out of here, because you were depressing me. You have just ruined my entire day."

"Goodbye Michael, remember where your leg is going to be if you don't get well."

"Nurse get this idiot out of here, I am about to have a heart attack because of him."

A pretty young nurse approached his bed. "Would you hurry up and have one so I can transfer you to the cardiac unit. If you attempt to grab my ass one more time, I am going to put air in your IV line and watch you die."

"I see you know how to win friends and influence people Michael. If you keep it up you won't make it to Rochester."

"Even can I help it if she's frigid? I'm just trying to warm her up."

"Nurse, if you want to cure him of his grabby hands quickly, take his chart and smack his left foot with it. He will never touch you again."

"I will get you for that Even. If it's the last thing I do, I will get you for that."

"You are a genius Doctor Luck. There will not be a mark on his body, and it will be my word against his."

"You are very welcome. If that doesn't keep him in line, take a 3-inch needle, put it into his carotid artery, and attach it to a transfusion bag. Let him watch it fill up with his own blood. After two units he will get a little fuzzy. After three units he will beg you to put it back into him. He will promise you the moon, the stars, and the entire universe if you let him live."

"Even get out of here. You are pissing me off to the point suicide looks very appetizing."

"I am leaving Michael. Remember, you better get well or I am going to be your worst enemy."

"You are evil to the core Even."

"You told me I had a good heart and soul a few moments ago."

"If you leave now I will not retract that statement. If you stay, I will kick you with my good foot."

I shook Michael's hand and said goodbye with the admonition he had better get well.

He yelled one more time, "Even get out."

This time I did.

********

I stopped by the billing department and gave them Rod's billing address and phone number. I told them that Michael was not to see a bill. They were not to talk to him about the bill or anything about money. My attorney would take care of everything. If they wanted payment in advance of Michael leaving the hospital, call him now. Rod would wire the money to them, bank to bank.

Apparently my name carried a little assurance with them, because they did not ask for any money, until the insurance carrier paid first.

I asked for the number of the Air Force base operations officer and the hospital accountant gave it to me instantly. I called, and I was transferred to the senior officer in charge. I told him the problem I had with getting Michael to Rochester in a medevac jet. There was none available in Fairbanks except the one the Air Force had to transfer wounded Air Force personnel. It was sitting on the flight line at that moment doing nothing. I asked if I could use it for one day to transfer a patient to Rochester Minnesota for emergency surgery. I would pay triple the costs involved if they would allow me to use that aircraft.

"I'm sorry Doctor Luck, I can't approve that. It's for service personnel only."

"Thank you Captain, you will be getting a call from a Colonel very shortly."

I called the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs and spoke to a friend of mine, Colonel Bartholomew Masterson. I told him my problem, and he told me to call the Captain back in 10 minutes. I did.

"This is Doctor Luck, Colonel Masterson told me to call you and reference to the medevac aircraft."

The Captain was very haughty. "Yes sir I spoke to Colonel Masterson and he told me that you could use the jet. I called our base commander General Abrams, and he told me you couldn't. So Fuck off Doctor Luck, that aircraft is not moving."

"Would you call General Abrams and tell him to sit by his phone. In 30 minutes or less he will receive a phone call from General Reeves on the Joint Chiefs of Staff. If he doesn't answer by the 3rd ring he can expect to lose a star."

The Captain asked, "Who the fuck are you Doctor Luck?"

"You better get down on your God damn knees Lieutenant. I am the man who redesigned the nuclear triggers for the Minuteman 3 missiles. I made them smaller, cheaper, and more reliable. The Air Force loves me, especially General Reeves."

"Doctor Luck would you hold on for a moment."

I told the Captain/Lieutenant(I know I scared to shit out of him when I called him Lieutenant) he had exactly 60 seconds, before I hung up and called Virginia.

I looked at my watch and waited. 50 seconds later...

"Doctor Luck, you may use the medevac jet, and there will be no charge."

"Pick up the patient at the Fairbanks General Hospital 8 AM tomorrow. Deliver him to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester Minnesota. They will be expecting him. If anyone upsets Michael, everyone involved will lose a rank, including General Abrams. Is that understood?"

"Yes Doctor Luck, he will be treated with kid gloves."

Delicious would be very proud of me, because I had no idea who General Reeves was, except from the thank you note I received after I finished the project. I did redesign the nuclear triggers for the Minuteman missiles, and I made a bundle of money doing it. You have to love no-bid contracts.

*******

22. A HOMECOMING TO REMEMBER

The hard part of my day was over. I went back to that place called a hotel, and I got some sleep. In the morning, I showered, shaved, and put on my best summer wear. I looked out of place in Fairbanks Alaska. I felt cold, but great.

I called a car rental agency and told them I needed a large car or truck. He gave me a list of what he had and I picked a GMC Yukon. He picked me up took me back to the agency, where I filled out all the forms paid with my American Express card and went to pick up Jennifer and Gordon.

Their luggage was on the front porch waiting for me. I guess they were as excited as I was to leave and head south to Denver.

Gordon heard me backing up the driveway. He came outside and guided me with hand signals to the luggage. He did a great job, except I nearly knocked over a post holding up the portico, because he did not stop me in time.

He yelled, "You are a little too close dad."

I pulled forward about four feet and asked, "How is that son?"

"It's perfect dad."

I loved the sound of that word.

I got out of the car, and walked to the rear to see how much room I had.

"You are right Gordon; it is perfect. Am I allowed to kiss my son for a job well done?"

He looked confused. "Do men kiss men dad?"

"Father's kiss their sons all the time Gordon, even when they are old and gray."

"Okay, you can kiss me."

I picked him up, kissed him on the head and cheek, and threw him up in the air.

He laughed on the way up, but was terrified on the way down because he didn't know I was going to catch him. When I did he said, "That was fun. No one ever did that with me before. Can you do it again?"

I did and he laughed on the way up. The problem was Jennifer walked out of the house, saw Gordon 5 feet above my head, and screamed, "Goorrrdooon!"

I caught my son on the way down, and he was still laughing. I set him down on the ground. He looked at his mother. "What are you worrying about mommy? Daddy was going to catch me."

She sighed. "It is going to take me a little time to get used to you playing with a man Gordon. I could never do that with you. When I saw you up in the air I thought I would die."

"We are men mommy. We do this stuff all the time. You watch television with me. The boys and girls jump high in the air, and they are caught on the way down."

I shook my head in disbelief. This 4 years old child had to be a midget in disguise.

"Lady, sir, are you ready to fly to Denver Colorado."
Gordon answered for both of them. "Mommy has been ready since 5 o'clock this morning. I don't believe she slept all night."

"If you think your mother didn't sleep all night, you must have been up all night listening to her. I guess everyone must be excited to go home. I know I am."

I put the 5 pieces of luggage into the back of the Yukon, transferred the child safety seat from Jennifer's car into the rental, and put Gordon in it.

"Don't you think I'm a little bit too old to sit in this baby seat dad?"

"No, not until your 9 years old."

"9 years old, I'm going to be in high school by then."

"Really, are you that smart?"

"Yes."

"You are going to love Delicious."

"Who is Delicious?"

"You will meet her when we get home. She is very smart also."

"I will test her to see which one of us is smarter."

I looked at Jennifer and shook my head.

The ride to the airport was dominated by Gordon. Question after question came out of his mouth. He reminded me of Delicious, and our ride to Austin. Our house should be a lot of fun with those two in it. Then I thought about Rod and his six children.

"Gordon have you ever played with a lot of children at one time?"

"No, I am mostly by myself or with mommy."

"My friend has six children and they live very close to me. Do you think you would like to meet and play with them?"

"Yes, that would be fun."

"Trust me Gordon it will be much more than fun. You will have a wonderful time every time you are with them."

I pulled into the airport parking lot and parked the truck in the space marked for the rental agency. I paid the dollar for one of the carts, put the luggage on it, and walked towards the general aviation section.

As soon as we walked in the door, a captain, co-pilot and two flight attendants approached us.

"Doctor Luck, we are your flight crew to Denver. The aircraft is ready to go. You and your luggage have to go through security. Then we will take you to the aircraft, and get you on your way."

"Thank you very much, I appreciate you all being here. This is my fiancé Jennifer Stars, and my son Gordon Stars."

After the introduction were taken care of, and we went through security successfully, the flight crew led us to the aircraft. The captain was in the lead, and when he started up the steps of a Boeing 787, I stopped.

In a loud voice I said, "I AM GOING TO KILL HER. SHE DID THIS TO ME ON PURPOSE."

Jennifer asked me, "WHO?"

"THE DEVIL HERSELF: DELICIOUS."

Jennifer laughed.

Gordon didn't care at all. He scrambled up the stairs, following the captain, and into the giant size jet without any help.

"I guess we should follow our son?"

"I haven't lost him in four years. I would hate to lose him now."

We walked up the stairs, hand in hand, into the jet. I bypassed first-class and Jennifer asked me what I was doing.

"We met in coach. I don't want to break our tradition, until after we get married."

"I'd like to find out where Gordon is?"

I stood up and shouted, "Gordon where are you?"

He stood up by a window seat, and said, "I'm over here."

"Okay, sit down, put your seatbelt on, and make sure it's tight."

He did it. "It's all done dad."

"Stay that way until I tell you that you can move around the cabin."

"Okay."

"Jennifer, I don't know what you did with that young man. He is so well behaved it is unbelievable."

"I didn't have to do anything. He came that way."

I tried to tickle her. "Really, his mother had no influence on him at all?"

She shifted away from my fingers and said, "Well, maybe a little."

The flight attendants checked all three of our seatbelts, as we felt the engines start.

One flight attendant sat next to Gordon and explained to him the safety rules of the aircraft. The other flight attendant stood by us as we read our cards and followed along with her dissertation.

An aircraft designed for 180 plus people, and there were a total of seven of us onboard. I was going to kill that little devil.

I don't believe I have ever enjoyed a flight more than this one. Jennifer sat on my lap, feeling how excited I was. We kissed, whispered and snuggled most of the way home. We only had a few little interruptions. All of them were made by a little man named Gordon. His head would pop up from the seat in front or behind us. He would ask, "Is mommy crying? Can I help?"

Jennifer would bury her face is my chest and laugh. Finally, she would look at her son, and say, "No Gordon, I am not crying. I am very happy. I am talking with your new daddy. We are getting to know each other better. Adults like doing this alot."

"Yes mommy, I know. You watch that kissing stuff on television all the time."

I rang the bell for the flight attendant, and asked her if it would be possible to get Gordon into the flight deck and show him around.

She said she would speak with the captain.

When she came back she nodded her head and talked to Gordon privately. He came running down the aisle and said, "Mommy, Daddy, they are going to show me how they fly the airplane."

I said to my new son, "Make sure you listen to everything they tell you. Do not touch anything unless they allow you to touch it. You can ask any question you want, but always been nice, because they don't let just anyone onto the flight deck."

"I promise I'll be good dad. I'll be extra special good." He turned on his heel and disappeared down the aisle at warp speed. We didn't see him again for 90 minutes.

Jennifer did not mind at all. She put her head in the crook of my arm and fell asleep. I loved listening to the sound of her breathing. I stroked her hair, arm, and thigh, but never touched anything remotely improper.

My ministrations must have woken her up, but she never gave me a hint that she was awake. After a time she said to me, "Even, you are a very special man. Anyone else would have had his hands all over my breasts and up my skirt a long time ago. You have been purposely avoiding touching those areas. I am on fire, and the man I love won't touch me until after we are married. All I can say to you Mister Luck is be prepared for our wedding night, because you are getting no sleep at all."

I laughed and Jennifer wondered if I was demented. I went through the story of Rod and Rosalynn's wedding night, and she understood my warped sense of humor.

"Do you see what I mean Even? It happened to your best friend already, and he was a sex fiend. You are a virgin, or as close to one as is humanly possible. I am going to take you to places you've never dreamed of, and you will want to visit them over and over again?"

I looked at my soon to be wife and asked, "Jennifer, exactly how experienced are you?"

She smacked me, and blushed. "Does it matter to you?"

I kissed her deep and long, and when I let her go she looked up at me and said, "I guess not."

"It doesn't matter to me at all. As far as I'm concerned, the night we get into our bed together is the first night of our lives."

She had an angry look on her face. "Even don't do that to me or I will rape you in the aisle. I want you so badly right now I would do anything to have you."

"Let's go for a walk?"

(I must remember to duck sooner when I do something like that.)

Gordon came running down the aisle yelling, "We're going down dad. They are bringing the airplane down. That's why they had me leave the front of the airplane, because they get very busy up there."

"Did you learn anything while you were up there?"

"Yes I did. The flight deck is made out of glass, and the airplane flies on wires."

I laughed so hard I nearly knocked Jennifer onto the floor.

"Gordon that was very close to the truth. As you get older I will explain exactly what those things mean, okay?"

"Okay. Can I sit with you now?" This

"You can always sit with us, even when mommy is sitting on my lap."

"When I watch my programs they say sometimes adults need to be alone. It looked like you and mommy needed to be alone."

"Gordon have you ever been to a baseball game?"

"No."

"Do you like baseball?"

"I don't know. What is baseball?"

I looked at Jennifer. "You never let him watch a baseball game?"

"It was not on my things to do list for a four-year-old."

"Gordon, you and I are going to have a lot of fun together. We are going to go shopping for a baseball bat, gloves, balls, hats, bases, and everything. We will go see the Colorado Rockies play baseball in Denver. They get paid for playing because they are so good. I think you will love it. In the wintertime, we can play football. Do you know what football is?"

"No."

"Gordon do you know what tennis is?"

"No"

"Do you know what golf is?"

"Gordon did your mommy ever spank you for being bad?"

"Mommy use to spank me when I was bad."

"You're not bad anymore so mommy doesn't spank you anymore."

"That's right, because I'm good."

"Gordon after I marry your mommy I'm going to give her a spanking because she has been bad. She did not let you learn some of the most basic things for a boy to learn. She didn't let you learn about sports. Sports make your muscles grow, which makes you healthy and strong. Is that reason enough for me to spank mommy?"

"If mommy was bad, and she kept me from growing and being healthy and strong she deserves to be spanked."

I looked at Jennifer with an evil smile on my face

"You wouldn't dare."

"Darling you heard the judgment of your son. He is unbiased and only knows how to tell the truth because of his age. You did not allow him to learn what boys are supposed to learn at his age. You brought him up almost like a girl. It will be easy enough to fix, but I will take a great deal of joy in meeting out the punishment to the person who was a bad influence on him; you bad girl balls you."

"I didn't know you had a sadistic streak running through your body."

"Sadism does not run through the body. It runs through the mind. I have a very active imagination, and right now it's thinking very evil thoughts of you."

"You are enjoying this moment aren't you Even."

I pulled her to me, kissed her quickly, and grinned. "I think I'm going to love being married to you. Actually, I'm going to love it forever." I kissed her jaw, her neck, and her ear, before I took her ear lobe into my mouth and bit it.

"I love you Jennifer Stars. There is no place in this universe you could go where I would not find you, and bring you home safely."

She laughed. "Spanking me all the way home for being kidnapped I take it."

"Yes, and loving every minute of it."

"What have I gotten myself into?"

"We are not married yet. I have not taken you out to dinner yet. You can use that as an excuse to back out."

"How could I possibly leave you after you proposed to me in a Wendy's."

"You could try to get it annulled at a Burger King."

The flight attendant came down the aisle and asked us to put our seatbelts on because we would be landing in five minutes.

I took Jennifer's hand and said, "Jennifer Stars, this is your last chance; my house or yours."

She didn't hesitate. "Yours Even, for the rest of my life I am yours."

"Young woman, if you had said anything else you would have been spanked on this airplane." I kissed her until the wheels touched the runway and broke us apart.

Gordon unbuckled his seatbelt, climbed into his mother's lap, and put his arms around her neck. "It's okay mom. You can cry all you want. I am here, you will be all better soon."

As I watched him take care of his mother I thought to myself that he was going to be the next Rod in high school and in college. Girls would not stand a chance against his good looks and smooth demeanor. I felt sorry for them already. I should publish a book warning them that he was cumming for them.

Our aircraft dwarfed every other at the general aviation facility. The steps were brought out to the 787 and we deplaned. We had to be the talk of the flight line because everyone stared at the three of us as we walked towards the terminal. Three people walking out of a Boeing 787; who the hell were we?"

Peace and tranquility did not last long. The sound of aircraft engines behind us were muted compared to the scream, "UNCLE EVEN!"

She charged and left the ground 10 feet from me. The impact of her body against mine probably registered as an earthquake on the East Coast. She knocked me back five steps before I could regain my balance.

"I am so happy that you are home. I am happier that you are alive."

"I am happy to be alive also; but if you keep hitting me like that I will not be alive for long. I love you little girl and I missed you terribly. You gave me the will to survive."

"I told everyone that you were alive. I told them I would not allow you to be dead. It was too soon for you to die. You have too much work to do."

"We can talk all about that later. I have someone very import to me I want you to meet."

I took Delicious by her hand and walked her over to Jennifer. In order not to give anything away I said, "Delicious, this is Jennifer Stars my soon to be bride."

Delicious said, "Wow are you gorgeous. Why are you bothering with him? You could do so much better. Come with me, we have to talk."

I'm sure my mouth was open as Delicious walked away with her.

Gordon yanked on my sleeve again and I said, "What?"

"Dad shouldn't we follow them?"

God this kid was smart.

I told the skycap to follow us, as we followed them. I had no idea where Delicious was leading us.

We caught up to them standing by a pair of gray doors with bars across them stating, "Emergency Exit Only: Alarm Will Sound If Opened."

Delicious reached for the door and I said, "STOP. What the heck are you doing Delicious?"

"I'm opening the door."

"It's an emergency exit."

"Do you believe everything you read Uncle Even?"

"At a Federal Airport I do."

"You have no faith in me at all, do you Uncle Even?"

"Please tell me you didn't tamper with the alarm system. We will all go to jail, and I was looking forward to getting married."

Delicious held Jennifer by her waist. "He really does love you, doesn't he?"

Jennifer lifted up her left hand, and showed her the diamond ring on it.

Her mouth malfunctioned. "Holy shit, can I have one?"

I said to my son, "Gordon you're not allowed to use that word until you are 13."

"Mommy uses that word every time she cooks."

I looked at Jennifer and said, "Really?"

"That will be $10 delicious. You cannot have one, until a young man gets down on his knee and asks for your hand in marriage."

"You are no fun at all Uncle Even. However, I am fun."

She tapped on the metal doors three times, and the doors swung open. A crowd of about 170 people yelled, "SURPRISE!"

Jennifer thought it was a surprise for me, until her grandparents, aunts and cousins surrounded her. They congratulated her on her pending nuptials and were asking her how she snared such a famous scientist.

I on the other hand thought it was a surprise for Jennifer, so I stayed behind her. Delicious pulled me forward, I began to recognize faces. My entire graduating class from MIT was there. I recognized faces from the Jet Propulsion Laboratory at CalTech, NASA, Scripps, the Center for Disease Controls, the Presidents Scientific Advisor and members of every other top scientific lab from around the country. They were here waiting to greet Me.

Holy shit, there were more Doctors, PhD's, and heavyweight scientists in this group of people than anywhere else on the planet. If the Chinese or Russians knew about this meeting they would have been here in force. They would want to kidnap this entire group. The advancement in their scientific programs would have been multiplied by a factor of 1000. Friends and colleagues I have not seen since our last symposium were here. I was shocked to my very core.

"How did you do this Delicious?"

"It was easy."

"Easy, most of these people don't talk to anyone but God, and he has to wait online to speak to them."

"Uncle, the media did most of the work for me. When the news that you had been in an aircraft accident and presumed dead, they called and gave me their private numbers if I received any further news. When I told them you had survived, and were getting married; they all wanted to be here to celebrate both events. I guess you have more friends then you think you have."

I kissed my (daughter), thanked her and went to greet the most prestigious group of scientist ever assembled in one place for nonscientific reasons.

Rod took care of all their expenses while they were in town. Car rentals, hotel rooms, meals, the works. My niece, and my friend made me very proud. It was then I realized our little church in Idaho Springs might be too small for our wedding.

I saw Father McAuley standing around the periphery of this auspicious group and waved for him to come over to me. I didn't have to ask him my question because he answered it for me.

"Yes, they will all fit in our church. We will put some extra chairs at the end of each aisle and the back of the church to make sure, but we will have your wedding at our facility. However, you and I have to talk."

"Yes, I realized that while I was walking out of the forest. I kept talking to him and asking for him to help my friend. I didn't ask anything for myself. I didn't want Michael to die, not after what he did for me. He answered more than one of my prayers. I owe him big-time. We will talk. I will go to confession, and I will get married in our church, in front of God. I will thank him for my life, and for meeting my wonderful bride."

"I'm not sure going to confession will be necessary Even. I think your faith was tested by the aircraft accident. By expressing your feelings about your friend to him, and asking nothing for yourself, I believe he absolved you of your sins. He tests people's faith in him in different ways, he tested yours during your exodus from the forest."

"I committed a murder while I was in the forest. I killed a baby deer so we could survive. I have never killed anything in my life. That tiny animal suffered terribly before she died. I have never felt so bad about anything in my entire life."

"Even, the Bible tells us that God gave us dominion over the birds of the air, the fish of the sea, and the animals on the land. You did not murder that animal, because it does not have a soul. God in his own wisdom takes care of them, because they become part of us, and the cycle of life continues. Without them there would be no us. In the beginning, man did not know how to farm. He gathered the fruits and grains that were available around him. His main source of sustenance was the animals he killed. If he did not he would never have survived the first winter, and man would not exist today. God wanted man to survive. He said, 'Go forth and multiply,' and early man did that by killing animals."

I laughed, and Father McAuley asked me why?

"Go forth and multiply. I believe our last discussion was about multiplying. You and I did not totally disagree on that point, and you blamed the Vatican for giving directions that were totally out of step with the needs of indigent people."

"I didn't put it in those words exactly, Even."

"I know, Father, but inside that very intelligent brain of yours that is exactly what you meant."

"Don't you ever repeat those words to anyone; I will deny it."

"I would never do anything to get you in trouble. You should know that about me by now."

"I am very happy for you Even. I will see you Sunday afternoon at 4 o'clock. Wear a tuxedo please. I'm tired of looking at you in stripes and plaids at the same time."

"You must admit, from a distance you always know it's me coming towards you."

"I'd rather be surprised. Your bride is very beautiful, did you drug her before you asked her to marry you?"
"One day you must ask Jennifer how we met, fell in love, and decided to get married. You will not believe it was me talking to her."

"I don't believe you opened your mouth to talk to a woman Even."

"That's all the more reason to speak to my bride. I will see you at 4 PM. I promise I won't be late."

************

After more than an hour of meeting, greeting, and talking with my peers, I reached for Jennifer and put her on top of a concrete planter that surrounded the building. I put Gordon next to her, and I jumped up to join them.

Our group of friends applauded us.

I saw Delicious standing in the front row, and I signaled to her to come forward. When she did, I grabbed her and pulled her up so she could be next to me. I introduced her to all the guests. It seemed that everyone from Jennifer's side of the family knew her and waved.

I looked at my own personal little devil and asked, "What did you do now?"

"Uncle have you ever heard of Skype?"

"Oh God, how many men have hit on you so far?"

"I've only talked to people in Jennifer's family. How much trouble could I get into?"

"Give me one minute please."

I raised my hands and asked for quiet.

"Friends, relatives, I have known this young lady, for almost 4 months, and she has become the light of my life. Her mother died in a car accident, and now she is my burden to bear. Trust me when I say when God created the word 'TROUBLE' this is the package he was thinking of at the time. She is beautiful both inside and out. She has an IQ of 207 and she just now asked me the dumbest question which I am going to repeat: 'I have only talked to Jennifer's family; how much trouble could I have gotten into.' This sounds like an innocuous question to most of us. However now I am going to give you the answer. Would all the unmarried men, between the ages of 17 and 30, please step forward."

Eight young men did.

"Thank you gentlemen. Now I have a question for each of you. Since Delicious first contacted you on Skype, how many times have you contacted her in an attempt to get a date. Starting from left to right if you please begin: six, four, two, five, two, five, six, eight."

The audience laughed.

"Delicious would you care to tell everyone how many times these gentlemen attempted to take you out on a date?"

"I hate you Uncle Even."

"I hate you three times as much. How many times did these young men attempt to take you out?"

"38 Uncle Even."

"Should I rephrase your initial question about how much trouble you could possibly get into?"

"You should've stayed in the forest and grown a beard."

"You would have missed me terribly."

"I did miss you terribly, but you do this to me every time a boy is involved."

"I'm just trying to protect the boys from you."

(This time I ducked in time and the crowd laughed louder.)

I called out to Rod, and asked him if we were going to dinner as a group."

Rod was ever efficient. He joined me on top of the planter and we hugged like brothers, which we are.

"Ladies, gentlemen, and honored guests. We are having dinner at 7:30 PM in the Starlight room on the top floor of the Hyatt Regency Hotel. The dress code is casual, and this will give each of you plenty of time to go to your hotel rooms to rest and freshen up. However, the bride and groom have other appointments, and they will be busy. No, they will not be sexually involved. Even has no idea what sex is or what it involves. Jennifer will have to teach him everything she knows because he is an innocent."

"I am going to kill you Rod."

Delicious said, "How do you like being on the other side of the needle, Uncle Even?"

I whispered, "Keep quiet young woman, I still have to talk to you about an airplane."

Rod continued, "Don't worry about it Even, all your friends know you are a virgin."

Jennifer's family laughed raucously.

"Rod, I'm going to do to you what Michael did to that deer, and it wasn't pleasant."

"Gordon your mother and father are going to introduce you to my six children. If you would like you could join them, while your mother and new father take care of the things that must be done so they can get married Sunday afternoon. It will be your decision that matters."

"Ladies and gentlemen this meeting is adjourned."

Everyone applauded and began to disperse.

I helped Delicious down, smiled at her and said, "How much trouble could you possibly get into."

"Three of them are absolutely gorgeous. Did you see them?"

"I saw eight men there, all with one intention in mind. They want to change your sexual status. I am buying you a chastity belt, and only I am going to have the key. Did you ever get that mark off just above your pubic...."

"EVEN, stop that, we are in public."

"Did you look for it?"

"Of course I looked for it, but I didn't find that thing."

"That's because there are no cameras in the house, just in the basement. There are no cameras on their phones either. I couldn't see a thing my dear girl. You are the easiest mark I know."

I moved quickly behind Jennifer and Gordon. I watched as Delicious turned a color red that was so deep and vivid it almost looked black.

I shouted to her, "Use the scientific method."

She shouted back, "I am using the scientific method. Each and every one of them has you winding up dead. Jennifer are you absolutely sure you love that bastard."

"Yes, I am very sure I love that bastard."

I smacked my future bride on her backside and she yelped.

"You said you weren't going to do that until after we were married."

"You deserved that one and you know it."

Gordon said, "Mommy you used a bad word about daddy, and he spanked you. If I did it you would have spanked me."

I picked Gordon up, kissed him, and started to walk with Rod towards his minivan.

Jennifer yelled, "I am going to get more than even with you Even."

I turned and smiled. "I would certainly hope so."

Delicious caught up with me, and asked, "What was wrong with the airplane?"

"What did it cost me to rent a Boeing 787?"

"It didn't cost you anything. The secretary for Boeing's chairman called to find out if I had any more information about you just like all your friends did. She made me promise to call with any updates. I called her to tell her you had come out of the forest and were now in the hospital in Fairbanks and we were going to rent a jet to get you home. She talked to the chairman and he came on the line. He said he would send an airplane to Fairbanks to pick you up and bring you home. I didn't ask him what type of aircraft. I thanked him for making it easy on me and on you, and invited him to this gathering. He apologized and told me he had a previous engagement for today, but he might be able to make it for Sunday. I thanked him again and told him we would look forward to having him at the wedding. I had no idea he was sending a large airplane to get you, no less the newest one in their fleet."

"Little girl, you just avoided the longest spanking of your life. The airplane was beautiful and holds more than 180 people. There were four crewmembers, and three passengers. If Jennifer did not sit on my lap all the way home, it might have been a little disconcerting."

*******

In a vacant area of an old parking lot, Rod's six children were playing soccer, or something that resembled it. I put Gordon down, but I held onto his hand.

Delicious said, "General Jeffrey lineup the troops."

Gordon looked at me and said, "He's a general?"

"No, he is just a play general, because he is the oldest of the children."

I said to Delicious, "Tomorrow, when we have time, Gordon is going to test you to see if you are as smart as I told him you are."

Delicious put a mean look on her face and said to Gordon, "So you think you are smart. I'm going to test you now. I'm going to introduce you to these six children and give you their ages. When I'm finished I'm going to ask you a question about each of them. You better know the answers Gordon, or you will fail the test."

Gordon looked Delicious straight in the eye and said, "Can't you think of something harder?"

Delicious was taken aback by his brashness. "If you pass this test I'll find something harder for you tomorrow."

"I am ready."

Pointing to each child as she went along, Delicious said, "Jeffrey is seven, Steven is six, Rod is six, Rose is four, Lily is three, and Adam is one."

Gordon waived everyone. "Hello, my name is Gordon, and I am 4 years old. My mommy is going to be the bride. Her name is Jennifer."

Jeffrey pointed to Rosalynn and said, "That's my mom her name is Rosalynn, but everyone calls her Roz. Hello Gordon." The five other children said hello shortly afterwards.

Gordon walked over to Rosalynn, reached out his hand, and said, "Hello Mrs. Laver."

"Hello Gordon would you like to play with my children?"

"I am thinking about it. I have never played with that many children before. I may get squished in the middle."

"You should never worry about getting squished in the middle, because your body bounces right back to its original size."

"Oh I didn't know that. It's like what happened this morning when daddy threw me in the air. Mommy was afraid I was going to hit the ground until daddy caught me. She worries about me a lot, because we have been alone for a long time."

"Well Gordon anytime you want to play, you can come over to my house and play with the children, or we can come over to your house and play there. The one thing about playing is that it is always fun. If you get a bruise or you bleed, you always get better, and go out to play again."

"Gordon it's time for you to take your test."

"This is going to be so boring."

Delicious and Roz shrugged their shoulders.

"General Jeffrey lineup your troops."

Gordon tugged on Delicious' skirt. "What?"

"Would you mix them up please to make it more interesting."

Delicious did more than that. She made Gordon turn around, mixed up the children, and had them lie down on the ground so there would be no visual clues as to their height. Then she had Gordon sit on the ground and turn to face the children.

Gordon clapped his hands.

Delicious asked, "You can't do it can you?"

"It's still easy, but this is the first time anyone's tried to do it to me this way."

Delicious tried to confuse him by skipping children, asking an age without the child's name and Gordon didn't miss a beat. It was over almost before it started.

Delicious said, "Excellent work Gordon. How much is 5×25?"

"125."

"8×42? "

"336."

"15×17?"

"225."

"What is the square root of pi?"

Gordon replied, "I always liked this one. If you take Pi and square it, and take the root of that square you wind up with Pi."

"That's funny Gordon, I always thought you wound up with cake."

"That's what my mommy always says."

"Gordon you and I are going to have a lot of fun."

"That's what my daddy says."

"Is that what you decided to call Even?"

"Yes. You will call him daddy soon too."

"Yes, maybe I will. Would you like to stay and play with Jeffrey and the other children?"

"Yes, please, if it's okay with you Mrs. Laver."

"It's fine with me Gordon. You can call me Roz if you'd like."

"Isn't that being disrespectful?"

"No, I am asking you to call me Roz."

"Thank you very much Roz."

"Delicious, it's time for you to go back to Even and Jennifer."

***********

23. CREATING AN ILLUSION

The one thing Jennifer and I wanted most was to stay together as much as possible once we arrived home. Her family and my friends had other ideas, and good intentions, but neither of us was happy.

Jennifer was whisked off to Brighton and her family would not tell her why. I was taken to a high-class men's store to be fitted for clothing.

I looked at Rod and said, "WHY?"

He replied, "Even, in a few months you will be a billionaire, yet you insist on walking around like a street bum. You don't have a decent pair of slacks or a shirt that matches them. I have already had all your underwear burned, because they were at least eight years old, stretched out behind recognition, and stained with God knows what. It is time that you dressed appropriately. You are going to be measured for suits, sport coats, shirts, ties, handkerchiefs, loungewear, socks, shoes, and underwear.

You will also have four tuxedos made for you in various shades of dark colors, with ingrained stripes, and bow ties. One of each of these will be ready for Sunday. You are marrying a beautiful young woman. You will look your absolute best for her. I love you as a brother, but if you argue with me about these changes, I will break both of your legs and get everything I want you to have done that way."

"Rod at any other time I might argue with you about these changes. After what I went through with Michael, I don't have the strength in me to do it. Whatever you want let's get it done, I have to get some sleep."

"That works out perfectly for you and for the next set of people who will work on you. Let's get you measured and get out of here."

For the next 20 minutes, Even was measured from foot to collar, inseam to waist, and armpit to wrist. When the tailors were finished with their measurements, they did it again for accuracy. They only had one chance at getting this right for Sunday. There would only be one fitting. They would have no second chance to get the clothes right for Sunday's nuptials.

Rod was paying for this from his own money. He was paying a premium for them to do it extremely fast, and accurately. The store would make a handsome profit if they did it right the first time. They would lose their shirt if they did it wrong. Rod wrote up this contract, and the wording was explicit. He explained it in detail to the owner of the store, and had the contracts signed and notarized. As I have said many times to many people, Rod is the finest lawyer I have ever known, and you don't fuck with Rod Laver, when it comes to the law.

********

Jennifer was sitting in her grandmother's living room wondering why her relatives were in another room screaming and hollering at each other, and she was not allowed in there. She was so frustrated she was about to scream for someone to tell her what was going on.

Her mother's mother came into the room, asked her stand and turn around. She wanted to say no desperately, but the sparkle in her grandmothers green eyes told her that something good was about to happen.

She did what she was asked to do.

Her grandmother said, "Please cover your eyes, and don't uncover them until I tell you."

Jennifer heard the laughing and giggling of her aunts and cousins as they rolled something into the room. She heard the sound of fabric being moved around and then there was no sound at all.

Her grandmother turned her around and said, "You can look now."

Jennifer uncovered her eyes and what she saw took her breath away. Displayed on a mannequin was the most beautiful wedding gown she had ever seen. It had a high scalloped neck that ended right at the throat. There was a three-inch diamond shaped opening that started just below the collarbone and ended at the beginning of the top of the breasts. The long sleeves were fitted, and ended just before the wrists, and they had same scalloped design as the collar. The bodice was fitted to the waist, then flared out into a soft bell shape that included a 15-foot train.

Jennifer had not said one word since she started looking at the dress.

Her grandmother laughed. "I guess she likes my dress."

Jennifer was shocked out of her reverie. "Grandma, this is your dress? Are you sure you want me to wear it? I don't deserve to wear white, I already have a child."

"You made a mistake when you were young. It does not mean you do not deserve to wear white at your wedding. You will wear my dress or I will take you over my knee and spank you."

Jennifer laughed. "What is it with spanking me all of the sudden. Everywhere I turn, someone wants to spank me."

Her cousin Bernadette said, "That's because you have a beautiful ass."

Her family laughed.

Jennifer's grandmother said, "Take your clothes off, we have to put the gown on you to make any alterations, or adjustments to it, so it fits you perfectly."

The living room drapes were closed, the overhead lights turned on and Jennifer began taking off her clothes. She was very self-conscious about doing this in front of so many people. She had lived alone for so long, with so few visitors, this was an unnatural act for her. Most of the family had ostracized her because she had Gordon out of wedlock. Although her parents with the wealthiest members of their clan, she was rarely invited to family functions. Suddenly, she's getting married, and her entire family is fawning over as if she had a visitation from the Holy Mother.

As Alice said while she was visiting 'Wonderland' "Things are getting Curiouser and Curiouser."

************

Delicious was standing in a ballroom of the Hyatt Regency hotel with one of the Party Planning Directors attempting to bring together a wedding motif for the bride and groom. They had gone through seven volumes of previously used designs, and they both agreed none of them were useful for this occasion.

Even was a top tier scientist, but also eccentric in the way he approached science. Of all his colleagues that came from around the country to see him, he had more patents, and was wealthier than all of them. However, 99 percent of them were better known and more respected than he was in the world of science, because of the fields they worked in. It didn't matter to them, and it didn't matter to Even, because they considered themselves peers, and let the outsiders make the comparisons.

It was up to her to make this event a happy medium between the scientist and the brides' family. So she return to the basics. She was going to do what her devious uncle told her to do when in doubt. (No it was not to PUNT.)

Delicious said to the party planner, "My uncle always says if High-Tech doesn't work, use Low-Tech. If low tech doesn't work, use High-Tech. In this case, neither works alone, so why can't we use them both? Give each person the big I-Pad 4th Generation unit. Hire a balloon artist, and have them make every type of scientific device they can make with balloons. High-tech and low-tech, Uncle Evens' way of solving a difficult problem."

The planner responded, "The high-tech way is going to be very expensive. $600.00 piece times 170 people. Let me get my calculator."

Without blinking, Delicious said, "$102,000 plus tax. No store is going to have 170 of them in stock. You are going to have to search around and get them in by Sunday. How about the balloon maker."

"Charlie and Ann are no problem. I will verify they are available for Sunday, and $5000 will take care of them."

"Have a varied menu in place, so everyone can order what they would like. No menus on the tables. Each guest will write down what they would like for dinner when they arrive. You had better have the item in the kitchen for them. Everything from sushi to steak, to truffles to tomato cherries; I don't care what it is or what it costs, have it here and make sure it's the finest available. If my uncle's attorney is dissatisfied with anything, there is going to be hell to pay."

"I know; I have had dealings with Mister Laver before, and I don't want to see him in court again. He is a very nice man to meet socially, but once he enters the courtroom he is a totally different person."

"Yes, that's the Rod I know and love. He will send over the contract later today. I would suggest you read it carefully before you sign it."

"I am not going to sign it. I am going to give it to our lawyers and they are going to sign it."

"Smooth move Karl; that is a very smooth move."
The End

There Must Be A Mistake
Chapter 5
By
Prolonged_Debut10

P.S. : I lied to you. Actually, I lied to you twice. I am extremely sorry about that.

Lie 1. I told you after Chapter 4 I was going to take some time off before writing Chapter 5. I just couldn't do it. This story is rattling around in my brain, and will not let me rest. If I can't rest, I may as well write. So here is Chapter 5, I hope you enjoy it.

Lie 2. At the very beginning I told you this was going to be a SHORT STORY, possibly four or five chapters. Since you have just finished reading Chapter 5, and you know that a bomb has yet to explode, there has got to be a Chapter 6, and possibly 7. If it gets to Chapter 8, I am going to shoot this computer. That way I will have to save my money and buy a new one. That will take at least one or two days, during which time I can rest, really and truly rest.

P.P.S.S.: I received a very funny comment on chapter 4 that I wish to relay to you. It stated that he/she had seen my request at a previous time looking for an experienced editor and wished to apply for that position. The person said he/she qualified for that position and had the time available to do it well. I was very interested in this proposal, but there was only one MINOR PROBLEM; the author signed it: ANONYMOUS. Oh well, you can't win them all.

Chapter 6 will appear in 3 to 4 weeks after the publication of Chapter 5. ENJOY!