Chapter 6: Prayer Club

————

Unsurprisingly on Friday morning I'm not functional. I'm tired and exhausted from my emotional outburst and my mood is at an all time low. It must be a miracle but I manage to drag myself out of the house and to school.

Home doesn't feel safe right now and I don't trust myself to be there. Besides, I don't want Kate to be suspicious of me. I've already caused her enough grief - the thought of her finding out about Will and I gives me anxiety.

That's another thing; Will and I.

I don't know why I'm so worried about Kate knowing about Will and I, because actually there is no 'Will and I'. Although I don't know what you'd call what we did together is there's no 'us'. I guess it was just stress relief. But it didn't feel like that when he kissed me. His hands were all over me, I suppose they could have gotten caught up in the moment.

But his kisses? His kisses were intentional, his mouth sought mine out as if he couldn't live without me. I refuse to believe he would have kissed me like that if it weren't something more than just sexual.

But I guess I don't have too much experience when it comes to these things, so it's hard to know. Actually, what I do have is a history of is reading too much in to others' actions.

But I can't forget it; any of it. The way he held me, the way we seemed to move together in a beautiful rhythm. The way he felt in my hands, they way his mouth caressed me. The urgency with which he seemed to need me, and the pleasure. Oh God, the pleasure was beautiful and thinking about it even now sends shivers up my body. It's the first time a man has given me an orgasm and it was incredible.

There's no doubt in my mind that Will regrets what we did, but there's no space in my heart for regretting anything that involves him.

————

"I was thinking of coming to after school prayer club." I nod to sister Crick as we eat our lunches.

Usually we eat in silence unless Sister Crick is doing a particularly hard crossword. But today, after the last week and everything that's happened with Will I figure I can use some Jesus in my life. I take a deep breath and I decide that now, more than ever, I need help.

"Is that what you've come to, now?" Sister Crick says, eyeing me with suspicion over her sandwich, "you're so deprived of social contact you want to join prayer club?"

"Yeah," I nod, taking a sip of my water, "I also figure I could use some religious guidance in my life. I keep making mistakes."

"Religion can't help you, kid." I can quite believe that a teacher has said that to me, no less a nun.

It's official, I'm so far gone that not even God can help me.

"Are you allowed to say things like that? Aren't you supposed to be all holy and spiritual and guide poor lost souls like myself to the Good Lord?"

"I'm allowed to say whatever the fuck I want," Sister Crick says, taking a big bite out of her sandwich, and then says, mouth full of bread and meat; "You want a spiritual guide, go talk to the Dalai Llama."

"Agnes," I'm using Sister Crick's first name because I'm feeling ballsy, but there is a seventy percent chance that she will actually hit me and I'm a little terrified. I continue anyway because really at this point I'm living my life on the edge, "I'm allowed to go to any school activity I want. And I want to go to prayer club," I finish rather forcefully.

Sister Crick looks like she wants to punch me, but obviously remembers that she's not supposed to. It's a relief because honestly she'd built like a linebacker and I have no doubt she'd be able to overpower me with her pinkie finger.

"Look, Portas," Sister Crick replies, frustration filling her voice, "You don't want to go to prayer club, no one goes to prayer club except for me and a few of the other nuns from the Abby. You really want to be a part of that? You want to spend an hour after school with a bunch of post-menopausal ladies saying prayers?"

"I want to do prayer club, I am committed to prayer club. I am coming to prayer club," I say slowly.

Sister Crick starts shaking her head, "Prayer club isn't for you, Portas,"

"I thought prayer club was for anyone. Didn't Jesus-"

"You shut your smart-ass mouth," Sister Crick glares, pointing her sandwich at me, "Bloody come to prayer club for all I care, but don't you ever quote the Good Lord to me again."

"Sweet," I give sister Crick my most charming smile, which she responds to with a scowl, "So anything I need to do to prepare? Read up about any saints we might be praying to?"

"Yeah," she says motioning for me to lean forward, "You can read about Saint Lucy, Patron saint of being a pain in my ass."

"You're such a dick," It comes out from my mouth before I can think properly.

"What did you say to me, you feral ratbag?"

"I said," I swallow, taking a calm breath, "You're a dick."

Sister Crick just nods, takes another big bit of her sandwich and surprisingly doesn't lose her temper, "Yeah, I get that a lot."

————

My first Prayer club feels awkward, and maybe it's because I kind of just forced my way into it. When I step into the music room, I notice that there are four other nuns inside, three of them, including sister Crick are older - more what you think of when you think of a Nun - all wrinkles and black, frumpy clothing, big crosses around their necks. But then there's also a younger looking nun, and unlike the others, she's wearing colours and her hair is long.

"This is Lucy Portas," Sister Crick nods to the other nuns, "she's joining prayer club,"

They all glance at me, and weirdly there's a level of anxiety filling the air. This is...this is strange. Did I make a mistake?

One of the older nuns gives Sister Crick a nervous look, "You sure, Agnes?"

There's a pregnant pause, they all give each other looks and I wonder if I've made a mistake coming here. Maybe Sister Crick had been right when she said I shouldn't come to book club.

Sister Crick finally speaks, "No, but she's a drop out and likely to get pregnant before she leaves school, so she's come seeking God."

I give Sister Crick a mean look and she just ignores me, grabbing a bunch of seats and dragging them into a circle.

"I don't think this is the best place for that." The younger one mutters, she gives me a nice smile, but her eyes are looking everywhere but me.

"It's prayer club, it's perfect for guidance. You know, closer connection to god and all that." I give the women my best, most confidant and charming smile. I mean, if I can somehow get Will to touch me, then surely I can get these nuns to accept me into their prayer club.

The nuns are all giving each other awkward looks again and now I'm worried.

"I am redeemable aren't I?" I ask to no one in particular. It's more a...a prayer at this point.

"Sure," One of the nuns says as Sister Crick says, "no".

"It's not that," the older nun says, shooting a scathing look at Sister Crick, "Just that since no one comes, prayer club has sort of...changed."

"It's not really a prayer club anymore," The younger nun smiles gently.

"What is it then? A Bible club? I have a Bible, I can bring that." I say, almost desperately. Not even nuns want to be my friend, that's exactly where my social stating is now.

"It's not a Bible club," Sister Crick corrects.

"We read books," The younger nun suddenly blurts out. I look over to her and realise she might be one of those apprentice nuns, I realise, on account of the fact that she's wearing some nail polish and her collar doesn't go up to her neck.

"Oh, so it's a book club," relief washes over me, "Sister Crick, why didn't you say anything? I love books, I'm happy to join. What are you reading?"

The nun's all look back at sister Crick and she just gives a solemn nod which is really odd. But I guess it kind of matches this whole experience. I feel like I'm about to find out what Soylent Green is.

"She's a little cunt, but she can be trusted. I think." Sister Crick turns to me, "The thing about Prayer club is that there are rules."

"Let me guess, 'don't talk about prayer club'?" I joke.

"Yes, and the like. This is a safe space." Sister Crick says slowly, and the nuns nod in unison, all of them taking a seat.

"For reading books," I say thoughtfully, taking the only remaining seat next to Sister Crick.

"Well, yes." Sister Crick nods.

"Okay this is weird," I can't be bothered anymore, "let's just read the book. I don't have a copy but I can share with someone."

"You can borrow my copy," the young nun smiles at me, handing me the book, which I reach out to grab. As soon as I grab the book the whole room seems to become even more tense. I can't place my finger on it, but I feel like the anxiety has just reached peak level. It's a feeling in my gut.

"Thanks," I smile back, remembering that this is an opportunity to get some positive social experiences.

I take a good look at it; the Cover is normal enough, just a picture of a Moon and a title; 'Astrid in Love'. It looks like a cute romance novel and I wonder why the nuns are being so weird about it. Maybe because they're not supposed to read about romance? I turn the book over to get a look at the blurb as the nuns stare at me in pregnant silence.

One evening Astrid is caught masturbating by her boss...It turns their relationship from hostile to hot...their affair is a passionate, erotic saga which promises to tantalise and excite its readers one sexy chapter at a time...

Oh my God. Oh. My. God.

Oh

My

Freaking

God

The nuns are reading Erotic literature.

This isn't a book club, this is a smut club.

I have joined a smut club. Run by nuns.

I look back up to confirm this with Sister Crick, and she looks slightly nervous as do the other nuns. It's the first time I've ever seen sister Crick look so worried. Then it hits me. I've intruded on their private space. A space where they can read and talk about what they want without being judged. Actually, it's exactly the kind of space I was looking for. Well, minus the smut. But hey, I'm not one to judge. Who doesn't enjoy a good romp book?

This wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but I'm willing to participate I realise in shock.

"This looks good," I say after a pregnant pause, "I'm not usually into... supernatural books, but I'm keen to start reading it."

The room seems to deflate instantly and the nuns begin to talk. The tension of the room dissipates and things seem a lot less weird now. Which is amazing, because...I'm in a sexy book club solely run by nuns.

"We've only just started reading so you've come at a good time. Chapter one and two is what we're discussing today." The oldest nun says, "What do we think so far?"

"Chapter one was slow, but chapter two was good," The younger nun nods, a flush spreading across her face.

"Chapter two was very good. The bath scene was especially excellent." A nun who I later learn is named Sister Therese adds.

"I'm not so convinced. I mean, masturbating in a bathtub is a good starter, I suppose, but I just want them to get it on already," Sister Bernadette says, frowning and gripping the book angrily.

Masturbating in a bathtub? I quickly skim through the first two chapters and at chapter two I find what they're referring to. True to word, chapter two features the first sexy scene of the book.

"They can't get it on already, Margret. It's only chapter two, the author needs to build tension." Sister Crick says in exasperation.

"My main issue," I butt in, "Is the fact that the main character masturbates in a bathtub and almost orgasms before she's interrupted. I mean, really? That would just freaking hurt," I say.

I resist the urge to swear, I am around nuns after all. And I notice, aside from Sister Crick none of them seem to curse.

"Really?" the young nun asks, eyes looking at me earnestly. I realise that she can't be much older than me. What's she doing joining a nunnery? I wonder if I can ask her that, but decide against it for the moment.

"Yeah, I mean she's in water, it would wash away the natural lubricant and probably hurt a bit..." I trail off remembering that I'm talking about masturbating with nuns.

This Friday is fucking weird.

"It's a fair point," Says Sister Crick, surprising me by agreeing with me. A disturbing thought enters my head and I begin wondering about exactly where nuns stand on the masturbation thing. I decide now is not the time to find out.

"Maybe because she's a witch, it's different," Sister Bernadette adds thoughtfully, "You know maybe being a supernatural creature it's easier."

"Maybe..." Sister Therese frowns thoughtfully, "How do we feel about the male lead? He's a bit too macho..."

"Not bloody macho enough if you ask me," Sister Crick mutters.

"I like him so far, but I don't like how this wolf queen's involved. I mean, consent it important - why should he have to be with this woman if he doesn't want to?" the young nun says.

"Consent is important," I say, nodding at the young nun, "Like, super important."

"You two knob heads are missing the point," Sister Bernadette sighs, "It's to build the tension and give the romantic leads a conflict-slash-forbidden-romance element."

"Conflict is important," I smile at the young woman and she laughs.

"Conflict is important," She says, nodding sagely, "Like, super important." I can't help but laugh at her imitating me.

I manage to get over the weird fact that I'm sitting with a bunch of nuns discussing smut. Actually, as we get into it's kind of fun talking about literature...even erotic literature and I discover that aside from the fact these ladies are all brides of God or whatever, they're actually pretty cool and easy to talk to.

I realise I like Prayer club a lot more than I thought I would. The hour goes by quickly and the club ends before I want it to. I hang around a bit afterwards, helping the nuns pack the chairs away and making conversation.

I turn to the younger woman and decide now is the time to make conversation.

"So are you a nun too?" I ask her, handing back the book.

"I'm a Novitiate, Kind of like a nun in training," she says, throwing the paper cups in the bin, "I'm Rachel by the way,"

"Thanks for lending me your book, Rachel,"

She smiles again, pink tinging her cheeks, and says, "You can find a copy in the school library if you don't want to buy it."

"Good to know." I nod, "Although I am surprised the library has copies of...such a supernatural book."

"Yeah, you have Sister Crick to thank for that,"

Sister Therese interrupts us, "So ladies, next week Prayer club won't be on. They're repainting the music room and we don't have anywhere else to run it.

Is she serious? Just when I'm starting to make a friend this happens? It's out of me before I can stop and think about it.

"Why don't we just do it at my place?" I offer.

The nuns turn to me, slightly curious. The Novitiate turns to me, I can see a look of excitement on her face and I realise she probably hasn't been out of the abby much since beginning her nun training or whatever it's called.

"My place is pretty close to the school and there's usually either my sister or babysitter there and they'll leave us alone." I add, giving the ladies my most pleasant smile.

Sister Crick's about to open her mouth the argue, but Sister Therese speaks first.

"That sounds lovely. Thank you, Lucy."

And that's how a bunch of nuns end up coming to my home to read Erotic Literature.

————

The next Friday afternoon, I walk home. Except instead of walking home by myself, today I'm escorted by a group of surprisingly excitable Sisters. Kate was surprisingly happy with me having Sister Crick and the other's over for prayer club...but probably because she doesn't know what it actually is. I haven't told her about what Prayer club actually is, but I figure that it's okay, on account of the fact that they're all religious and good influences or whatever. As soon as I get home, I seat the nuns in our lounge room and I go and make some tea.

As the water kettle boils I hear the front door open and close.

It must be Will, I realise. I didn't know he was going to be over so early this afternoon, but I guess work must have finished on time for once. I wonder briefly if he's going to notice anything, or say anything. I mean, if bringing home a bunch of nuns won't get him to talk to me, then I think I can safely say I've lost his interest.

I hear footsteps, and I continue fussing around, looking for extra tea cups and a tray to serve them on.

"Lucrezia." I know it's Will, he's the only one with that voice, unless one of the nuns has suddenly turned into a growly, deep voiced, sexy man. Which...which is a thought I don't want to really give much time to.

I keep searching, finally locating the tray and begin pulling it out of its precarious position in the cupboard.

"Hey Will, How was your day?" I ask because I have a feeling that the only reason Will is in here talking to me right now is because there are a bunch of old ladies in our living room.

There's a pause, "It was fine." Then another pause, "How was yours?"

"Yeah, great," I manage to get the tray out and whoop in victory, "Submitted some assignments, stayed out of trouble. The usual."

I come to stand up, tray in hand, facing Will finally. Seeing him steals a breath of air from my lungs and I realise that Will ignoring me since 'the touching' (Sequel to 'the kiss') has done nothing to calm my desire for him. Today he's wearing his cop uniform and I want to press my body against his and peel his shirt off him. A man in uniform, indeed. Woof.

"Lucrezia," Will asks, his face is pulled into a tight frown. I wait for him to say something but he doesn't.

"Will," I say, raising an eyebrow mockingly. I try to remember to be an adult. If he sees me as an adult maybe he'll kiss me again.

I can see Will visibly take a deep breath, closing his eyes and then opening them to really look at me. As if he's seeing me for the first time.

"Lucrezia, did you invite a bunch of nuns over?"

"Yeah," I say, "It's for prayer club."

"Prayer club?" Will says the words carefully in his mouth, like he's worried I'm going insane, "You're a part of prayer club now?"

"Didn't Kate tell you?"

"She neglected to share that information," He bites out, and I wonder why he's so peeved at me.

"Well, if you'd bothered to talk to me in the last week you'd know I am a keen member." I say it rather childishly, slamming the tray on the bench a little too hard. I start stacking tea cups and the tea pot on it.

"You're a keen member are you?" He leans on the bench next to me, taking a good look at my face like he's trying to understand me. His body is so close now that I can feel the heat radiating off him and I wonder if he knows how he effects me. I look at him, silent for a moment and I realise he probably realises I'm checking him out.

"Some of us look to self improvement, some of us don't want to be assholes for the rest of our lives." I manage to reply with some semblance of dignity.

"Lucrezia," He says my name like a warning, and it sends a powerful jolt between my thighs. He's leaning even closer now, his body trapping me between himself and the bench. I know I'm about to be in trouble, but I don't care as long it's followed by his lips on mine.

My brain is officially mush, because the next thing I say is, "I mean, you finger a girl and then you don't talk to her afterwards. We both know that I don't have especially high standards when it comes to the way guys treat me. But even I'd say that's asshole behaviour."
"You want to say that louder with all the nuns around?" He looks one part embarrassed and two parts dangerous. It sets my heart fluttering, my skin tingling and another distinct flush of arousal straight between my legs. My nipples are hard, pressing against my bra, as if they remember the way he touched them not so long ago.

"Prayer club mostly involves reading smut. I think they know what fingering is and I don't think they'll be particularly scandalised by our conversation."

"Sorry, reading smut?" Will looks like he's about to have an aneurysm, he brings his hands to rub his face, taking a step away from me, "You're reading smut with a bunch of nuns? Nuns who are your friends?"

"Yeah," I try to be nonchalant, although when he says it like that I guess it kind of sounds silly. "we're currently reading this," I gesture to the book in my hands.

Will surprises me by grabbing it from my hands and taking a good look at it. I watch his brows knit together, the lines on his forehead deepening in concentration.

"Astrid in Love," He reads aloud, and then turns the cover, "One evening Astrid is caught masturbating by her boss..." He trails off and then hands it back to me, "Jesus, Lucrezia. I don't even know what to say."

"It's a sexy supernatural romance between a werewolf and witch; very erotic. You can join us if you want. The girls will be excited to have a male member." I don't know if that's strictly true, but I'm enjoying the flustered look on Will's usually stoic face.

"No, I think I'll give it a miss." Will says, a vein in his neck twitching.

"You ok? You've gone all twitchy." I add because I'm feeling unkind today.

"You are...you are too much sometimes, Lucrezia." I know he means it as an insult, but I don't take it that way.

"That's a shame," I shrug apologetically, taking a step away from Will and closer to the doorway.

"A shame?" he looks confused, repeating the words like he is, in fact, having a stroke.

"Yeah, I need a man who can keep up with me." And with that I take my leave, making extra effort to strut out of there like I'm Naomi Campbell on the runway, all ass, hips and attitude. It's a real feat, let me tell you, because I'm also precariously holding a tray full of china.

I don't even bother to look at him, but I imagine his mouth is wide open and gaping like a fish. I mean, in all likelihood he looks stoic and slightly pissed, but I'm going to pretend I've unhinged him.

Until Will's ready to talk properly about the other night, I might as well try and take some form of control here. I think this might be the most satisfying moment of my life. I take a deep breath and continue to carry the tray out to the club.

"Alright ladies, who wants some tea and biscuits,"

There's a fuss and excitement. These ladies are not hard to please, I realise as I dish out teacups and store bought biscuits. I settle down in a seat, with my own tea and biscuit in hand and join in on the conversation.

"Did you guys read chapter 3?" Sister Therese begins.

"Boy, did I." Sister Bernadette replied, pushing silver hair out of her eyes as she sips the tea, "I read it twice."

"Could cut the tension with a knife..."

The conversation continues on and I find myself smiling and laughing along. It's enough to distract me and make me feel...happy. It's a feeling I haven't had in a while, that feels freeing and lovely.

Again the hour goes by quickly and before long, the club has ended and I'm cleaning up the teacups as Rachel helps me.

"There's a film night at the Golden Age Cinema Saturday night," Rachel says, bringing the tray in with me to the kitchen, "Showing old school vampire films. I think the one next weekend is 'interview with the vampire'. I thought you might be interested in coming with me?"

"The Brad Pitt movie? The one with sexy vampires that's vaguely homo-erotic>"

"I mean more than vaguely. But yes," Rachel nods, "You said you like supernatural things, so I figured you'd be interested."

"Yeah." I nod, "That'd be great. I need to check with my sister first, but I'm sure she'll be cool with it."

"Sweet!" Rachel laughs, "I'll text you the to confirm later next week."

"Do you need my number?" I frown, remembering that i've not given her my phone number before.

"I have it. Sister Crick gave it to me, I hope you don't mind. It's just I don't really know many girls my age. What with living in the abby and all, so I asked her for it."

"How does Sister Crick have my phone number?" I wonder aloud, as I stack teacups in the dishwasher.

"Oh, I think you know the answer to that question," Rachel snorts, nudging me and we both look out the kitchen door, watching Sister Crick talking loudly to Will, I watch her slap him hard on the back and I swear he flinches.

"She knows everything." I say, wondering what Will and her are talking about. Even talking to Rachel, all I can do is focus on how broad Will's shoulders are, and how cute his ass is.

"And she's terrifying," Rachel adds, snapping me out of my reverie.

"Fuck, she's terrifying," I repeat, looking at Rachel in camaraderie "Sorry for swearing." I add.

"It's okay. When it comes to describing Agnes," Rachel nods, "Swearing is appropriate".

We laugh together as we watch Sister Crick slap Will on the back again. Except this time he moves and she accidentally hits herself. Rachel laughs so much she starts to hiccup and snort. I can't remember the last time I smiled so much that it hurt.

That night when the ladies have long gone and I'm tucked safely in bed, I realise with amazement, that tonight was the first time I've felt like I belonged for a long while.

————

AN: The first rule about Prayer Club...is review it. Let me guys know what you think. I know, it's less smut, and more progress, but I think It's important for Lucy to have opportunities for attachment outside of Will. Also extra points to anyone who can find the easter egg in this chapter.