I jabbed at the channel change button on my remote, annoyed. It was a good remote, the best of its range, which I recently bought to control all my remote controlled appliances. Unfortunately, I couldn't control what the television stations aired. I sighed as I went from channel to channel.

Tom, a neighbour who always came over and scabbed off me, suddenly came in front of me and began to tell me that there was nothing in the fridge. Before I responded, I pressed the channel button once more, and then jumped in shock. Tom had somehow instantly changed from Tom to another neighbour of mine - Tammy. I pressed it the other direction, and he turned back to Tom. I grinned, thinking the day wasn't so bad after all - I had fallen asleep into a funny dream, or else gone crazy and started seeing things. I pressed the pause button as he was in the middle of beginning to ask for food again, and he froze. I walked around the asshole, and gave him a kick in the shins - not too hard, though.

I then pressed super fast forward - used for skipping chapters in DVD movies or to go very fast with video players. I opened my mouth in shock as he began growing older - 25 years old, 26, 27 - a glowing number like the fast forwarding timer on a video clicked on him - until I figured out I should press pause to stop it again. I then rewound him once again until he was his proper age. Once I was done I pressed the play button once more, and he collapsed from his leg pain, limping off muttering and cursing to himself about going to bed.

Thinking to myself of my other noisy neighbour, Tammy, I decided it was time to give my neighbour what she deserves.