The guard gave Lita's arm a hard pull, sending her staggering forward and causing her dark brown hair to spill forward into her equally dark brown eyes. "Alright!" she snapped, her frustration getting the better of her. "I'm going, okay? It's not like it's easy to walk in this shit." She held her hands out and gave her wrists a good shake to emphasize the chain that kept her from walking faster than a shuffle. All this just to visit a damn shrink, like she was Hannibal fucking Lecter or something. She reached up to brush back her hair, but the chains stopped her from raising her hands above her chest.
The guard kept her moving down the corridor, clearly enjoying the way Lita had to waddle quickly to keep up, until they reached a thick wooden door with a nameplate on it. 'Henry Butler, M.D.', it read. Below that, in smaller letters, it said 'Staff Psychiatrist'. The guard knocked on the door. In a bored voice, she called out, "Gutierrez is here, Doctor."
After a moment, the door opened to reveal a Caucasian man in his early forties. His sandy blond hair had just a touch of gray, difficult to spot under the dim fluorescent lighting, and he wore a suit but no jacket. Lita caught sight of it hanging off the back of his office chair. He had a high forehead and cold blue eyes that were magnified by his glasses, making him look a little bit like he was examining her through a microscope. Lita gave a little shiver, hoping he wouldn't notice--she couldn't afford to have this meeting go badly. "Come in," he said in clipped, formal tones, gesturing to the room beyond him. "Have a seat on the couch."
Lita yanked her arm free of the guard before the other woman could release it, and stepped into the room. "Back in an hour," the guard said with a scowl on her face, still managing to sound bored. "You know what to do if she causes trouble." She closed the door, leaving Lita alone with the doctor.
Lita hobbled over to the couch, while Doctor Butler sat down behind his desk again and flipped through some papers. "Do you think you're going to cause trouble, Carmelita?" he asked, his tone deceptively mild.
Lita glared at him. "It's Lita," she said, sitting down on the couch. "Just Lita, okay? And no, I ain't going to cause trouble. Is that what you're writing down in that file? That I'm some kind of psycho or something?" She wished she could calm down, but something about the way he looked at her was putting her on edge. She tried to remind herself that he wasn't the bad guy, that he was the one who was going to let her out of here, but five years in prison had made it hard to trust anyone on the other side of a desk.
Doctor Butler looked up at her, his light blue eyes showing nothing but calm. "I'm not writing anything down, Lita. I'm just going over your records." He glanced down again at the papers. "Please tell me if any of this is incorrect. Your full name is Carmelita Gutierrez, age twenty-one. Born in Los Angeles, self-identify as Hispanic. You had two years of high school before you were arrested at the age of sixteen and tried as an adult for grand theft auto, and sentenced to ten years in prison due to exacerbating factors--"
"Bullshit factors, more like," Lita snapped out. She knew she should be trying to appear calm and contrite--this was the start of the parole process, and making a bad impression on the prison psychiatrist pretty much made sure that she'd be serving out her full sentence--but the injustice of it still stung. "Jaime had a crowbar with him to pop the hood, and I had a screwdriver on me to get at the drive shaft. Fucking D.A. said we were carrying weapons, and the fucking public defender didn't do shit to stop him. A fucking screwdriver, and it tacks seven fucking years onto my sentence. And they call it the fucking justice system."
Doctor Butler closed the file and went around the desk to sit in a chair at the foot of the couch. "So you feel like you were unfairly treated," he said. "Do you think you've been able to channel those emotions constructively?"
Lita shot him a stony glare, but all he did was stare back at her. After a moment, she shrugged derisively. "I got into a few fights, okay?" she admitted reluctantly. She waited for him to respond, but he just kept looking at her. She felt the silence weighing on her, judging her. "So is that it?" she said at last. "I mix it up a little in the exercise yard and I'm all out of chances?"
"Not at all," Doctor Butler said. "But it does mean that if I am to recommend your release, I need to give you some tools to help deal with your anger first, otherwise you'll simply wind up back here again. Neither of us want that."
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small silver pendant. "I've had a great deal of success with patients like yourself using guided meditation," he said, allowing the pendant to hang down at the end of its chain and starting to swing it gently back and forth. "It's a technique that allows you to center yourself when you're feeling frustrated, so that you can return to a state of calm instead of allowing your emotions to control you."
"Hey, whoa, what the fuck?" Lita said loudly in tones of surprise and alarm, looking straight up at the ceiling. "Are you trying to fucking hypnotize me? Because I didn't agree to that!" She flicked her eyes down for a moment to the psychiatrist, just to see whether he was still holding the pendant, then back up to the ceiling as soon as she saw that he was.
"It's okay, Lita," Doctor Butler said soothingly. "You don't have to be hypnotized if you don't want to. You can watch the pendant and remain wide awake. It's just a tool to help you concentrate, that's all."
Lita looked down at him again. His face was set in a smile so calm and mild that it practically didn't exist. He continued to hold the pendant, letting it move from side to side with an effortless motion. She shot her gaze back up to the ceiling again. "I don't want to be hypnotized," she said forcefully.
"Then you won't be," Doctor Butler said calmly. "It's as easy as that. We're going to talk about ways that you can stay focused when your anger is trying to distract you and goad you into making a bad decision, and it helps to have something specific you can focus your attention on. But that doesn't have to be this pendant if you associate it with hypnosis. You can just as easily focus on the ceiling while I talk to you."
Lita snapped her eyes back down to the doctor. "I don't think I want to do that," she said warily. She glared at him, looking for some sign that he was trying to trick her, but his face remained resolutely unreadable. It bugged her--it was like being in a room with a robot. She found herself wanting to do something, yell or scream or punch him in the face, just to get him to react, but she knew that would be the worst thing she could do.
"You don't like being told what to do, do you?" he asked, staring at her with his big pale eyes. She held his gaze for as long as she could, but after a moment she flicked them down to the pendant with a sharp sense of relief.
"I just don't want to be hypnotized, is all," she said sullenly. She had a sudden urge to get up, to hammer on the door and ask to go back to her cell, but she pushed it down. "I don't have a problem with people telling me what to do, I just don't want..." She froze, fumbling in her head for a way to describe it that didn't sound like an insult. She hated the way he was watching her, evaluating her, judging her. She was scared of the way he was trying to get inside her head, make her doubt herself. She felt like he was just like the rest of them, like he wanted to break her down into a good little model prisoner, somebody they could let out who would find some shitty job sweeping floors for someone who was oh-so-fucking proud of themselves for giving her a chance. Somebody who was a nobody.
"...I don't want to be hypnotized," she ended lamely, unable to put any of it into words. She felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment, and stared tightly at the pendant in an effort to shut him out completely.
"And you won't be," Doctor Butler said smoothly. "This is simply a therapeutic exercise, Lita, and you're going to remain wide awake this entire time. You may find yourself calming down, but that doesn't mean you're hypnotized. That simply means that you're finding a way to let go of that aggression, using your focus on the pendant to keep the anger you feel from getting the better of you. As you watch the pendant moving back and forth, you'll find that it's easier and easier to center your thoughts and leave that anger behind."
Lita leaned back onto the couch cushions, trying to at least give the doctor a chance. Just so that he'd at least write down afterwards that she tried. It didn't feel like it was working--she still felt all knotted up with stress no matter how closely she followed the swaying pendant. It just went back and forth, over and over again in a steady motion. It was kind of impressive the way he kept it moving so evenly, but if he thought this was going to calm her down, maybe he was the one who needed a shrink.
"That's right, Lita," he said after a moment. "You're doing an excellent job now. Wide awake but feeling calmer now, more centered and able to listen to me without feeling upset or afraid. Whenever you feel those emotions, you're just going to take a moment and watch the pendant swinging from side to side at the end of the chain, always moving smoothly and effortlessly, until you feel peaceful and relaxed once again. Does that sound good to you, Lita?"
Lita nodded. "Yeah, um, okay," she said, just to let Doctor Butler know that she hadn't zoned out or anything. "That sounds fine." She kept her eyes on the pendant while she talked--she still didn't trust herself to look anywhere else, not while she still felt so messed up inside. At least when she was looking at the pendant, she wasn't looking at him.
"Good," Doctor Butler said. He paused again, letting the silence fall over Lita like a drift of snowflakes. Finally, he said, "Let's revisit our discussion earlier, Lita. Do you feel like you have a problem with authority figures?"
Lita tensed up instantly, but it helped to look at the pendant and not at him while she answered. "Maybe sometimes," she conceded. "A little. It gets under my collar when someone tells me what to do just because they think they can."
Doctor Butler nodded. The pendant didn't jostle even a tiny bit. "But it's only a problem when you let that anger distract you," he said. "When you're wide awake like this, your mind free of all distractions, it doesn't bother you, does it?"
Lita thought about it for a minute. She could feel the anger welling up inside her, telling her that the doctor was telling her that she should just swallow all that bullshit and stop getting mad about it, but as soon as the feelings built up they faded away. She just watched the pendant sparkling at the end of the silver chain and let them all go. "I guess not," she said at last. It felt like a relief to give up that frustration.
"That's good, Lita," he said, his tone still studiously neutral. "So when you're wide awake like this, calm and centered and focused on the pendant and my voice, you don't have any problem listening to me and adopting my suggestions. You know I'm here to help you, and everything I say to you is intended to make your situation better. You can listen to my words easily and accept them into your mind without any anger or resentment. Isn't that right, Lita?"
Lita nodded warily. She wasn't sure she believed him, but she had to admit that it was a lot easier to listen to what he had to say without that constant simmer of emotion clouding her thoughts. It felt like she had let go of a weight she didn't even know she was carrying. She let out a long sigh of relaxation, feeling the tension in her body uncoil as she followed the pendant with her eyes.
"Very good, Lita!" Doctor Butler said. Even his praise sounded calculated, but Lita felt her irritation about that vanish into the dance and sway of the shiny silver pendant as it swung at the end of the chain. "And now that you know now that you can become more and more relaxed, more and more peaceful without being hypnotized, you can just watch the pendant for me a while longer, Lita, letting your thoughts focus completely on the pendant and my words. Everything else can fade away."
Lita nodded again, with a little more enthusiasm this time. "Everything else can fade away," she agreed happily. She shifted position slightly so that her body rested more easily on the couch. She felt her lips part into a slight smile as she stared at the pendant, letting her head remain perfectly still while her eyes followed its movement. It felt so easy. All she had to do was pay attention to the motion and listen to Doctor Butler, and all that messy junk in her head went away leaving her calm and relaxed and focused.
Doctor Butler stood up, but it didn't matter--Lita followed the motion of the pendant perfectly easily as it rose in her field of vision. She felt like she didn't need to even try to focus on it anymore. It just happened all on its own, the sparkle of light on the silver pendant drawing her gaze easily and effortlessly. Lita couldn't remember when she'd felt this peaceful--even sleep didn't feel as restful as sitting here and listening to Doctor Butler talk.
"And you'll find," he said, "that you can come back to this alert, calm place in your mind very easily, Lita, whenever you want to. I know that you feel very peaceful here, very relaxed, and I know how much you want to remain in this state. So I might remind you of it from time to time, just by saying the words, 'wide awake' to you, and that will act to let you know that it's okay to focus your attention on the pendant and let everything else fade away. Even when you don't actually see the pendant in front of you, you'll find it very easy to imagine it in your mind, swinging from side to side and helping you find this relaxed and focused place. Does that sound good, Lita?"
"Yes, Doctor," Lita responded. She felt a wave of relief wash through her body as she let go of all her worries and just watched the pendant as it swung overhead. She couldn't even remember what she was so afraid of. Doctor Butler had said he wasn't going to hypnotize her, and he hadn't. All he'd done was help her concentrate, and it felt so amazing to be free of all those distractions and completely focused, completely rested, completely relaxed and aware of everything he said without anything else to get in the way.
The pendant kept moving until it was almost directly over Lita's head now. She felt her eyelids fluttering with the strain of following it with her gaze, but Doctor Butler must have noticed because he said to her, "It's okay, Lita. You can close your eyes and remain just as wide awake as you were." Lita gave up the struggle to keep them open and simply laid there, peaceful and relaxed. She didn't need to think about anything right now. She could just enjoy the moment, just picture the pendant in her mind and let it be the center of her world. That sounded so perfect.
After a few minutes, she felt Doctor Butler put his hand on her shoulder. She opened her eyes slowly, blinking once or twice in confusion. "What's going on?" she said.
"The guard will be here momentarily," he said, smiling gently at her. "I thought you might want to compose yourself before she arrives."
"Oh, um..." Lita looked up at the clock. Sure enough, a whole hour had gone past in what she thought was just a couple of minutes. "Yeah, thanks. Sorry, I guess I kind of lost track of time."
"It's okay," Doctor Butler said. "That happens sometimes when we're concentrating. It's perfectly normal, nothing to be concerned about."
Lita smiled. "Then I won't worry about it. Thanks, Doctor. I think I'm feeling better already."
"Good!" They heard a knock on the door. "Same time next week, then?"
Lita nodded. She was looking forward to it already.
*****
"So," Doctor Butler said as the guard closed the door, "I was wondering what your thoughts were on attempting hypnosis."
Lita sat down on the couch and shook her head gingerly. "It's not that I don't trust you, Doctor," she said apologetically. "I just don't feel comfortable with it. It feels weird." She hesitated a moment. "That's okay, right?"
Doctor Butler smiled. "It's perfectly okay, Lita," he replied. "I've already told you, I won't hypnotize you if you don't want me to. You can always be wide awake for me."
Lita smiled and lay back on the couch, her eyes closing. "Oh good," she said softly, worries she didn't even know she had fading away instantly. "I'm so glad I can trust you." She decided to focus her thoughts on Doctor Butler's pendant instead of getting worked up over hypnosis that wasn't even going to happen.
"Instead, Lita, I'd like to talk to you a bit about the offense that put you here." Lita felt herself tense up briefly, but then the pendant in her mind flashed from right to left and the tension fell away with it. "I've read through your file, but I'd like to hear from you why you decided to steal that car."
Lita gave a tiny shrug, too relaxed to do anything more. "Because I was stupid," she said. "I mean, not stupid stupid. Just teenage stupid. I was hanging out with Jaime after school, and he asked me if I wanted to go for a ride, and I thought he was really cool so I said sure. And it turned out he didn't have a car, but I didn't want him to think I was, y'know, scared. So I went along with him."
"Why do you think you went along with him?" Doctor Butler asked.
Lita sifted through her thoughts. It felt so much easier to talk about it like this, when she could let all the bitterness she'd been hanging onto all these years go and watch the pendant swaying in her mind's eye instead. She could feel all the defensive rationalizations falling away as her eyes moved smoothly back and forth beneath her eyelids, until she was ready to admit the truth to Doctor Butler...and maybe to herself.
"Because he was cute," she said at last. "I was sixteen and horny and he was seventeen and ripped, and I was hoping he was going to take me somewhere in his car and fuck me."
"So your hormones were making all the decisions for you?" Doctor Butler asked, a twinkle of humor in his voice.
"I guess so," Lita said, smiling sheepishly with her eyes still tightly shut. "Like I said, I was a dumb teenager. I wasn't really thinking."
"That sounds like it could be part of the cause of your problem, Lita," Doctor Butler said, almost as if to himself. "I think you have difficulty making good decisions when you're distracted--that's why you're doing so well in here, because you're completely focused on my words and shutting everything else out so easily. But if your body is constantly trying to get your attention, you can't really focus on making the right choices, can you?"
Lita listened to his words intently, letting her thoughts center on the pendant in her mind while she took everything in. Once she heard it directly from Doctor Butler's lips, she had a hard time denying it--she remembered sitting next to Jaime on the school steps, feeling that liquid heat between her thighs like a tangible pull on her thoughts. She remembered tensing up with fear when she realized what he was suggesting, the twisting feeling in her gut fighting with the wetness in her pussy and finally losing as he looked at her with those arrogant eyes and asked if she was ready to have a little fun for a change. She remembered the way that her arousal mingled with the terror when they broke into the car, leaving her exhilarated in a way she'd never imagined, making the whole thing seem so perfect... "I think...maybe you're right," she said quietly, almost surprised at the idea.
"Of course I'm right," Doctor Butler said, his voice filled with unshakable certainty. "When you get turned on, it's very hard for you to think straight. All that sexual energy is just another distraction, Lita, and it's been distracting you for a long time now. You've been very horny since getting to prison, haven't you?"
Lita almost whimpered out her answer, but the pendant kept her focused and centered. "Yes," she said. "All the time." There was nowhere private in jail; even in the shower or the toilet, someone could walk in on you. Some of the girls didn't mind, or even liked being watched, but Lita could never get past it. She'd fingered herself a few times, under the covers after lights out, but it always felt furtive and unsatisfying. She'd resigned herself a long time ago to waiting, and she'd almost convinced herself that it had worked until now.
"And that's been distracting, hasn't it?" She could hear Doctor Butler's voice close to her ear now, like he was kneeling next to her. She almost opened her eyes to look, but then the pendant in her mind swung again and she decided it was easier to stay focused on that. "When you think back on all those fights you got into, you can remember all that tension and frustration looking for a place to escape. And you didn't know how to deal with it."
"Yes, Doctor," she replied. It felt like a natural response now.
She heard the zipper of her jumpsuit as it slowly dragged down the length of her body, tooth by tooth. "I'd like you to focus on that for a moment, Lita," Doctor Butler said. "Just take a moment, here in this safe space with me, and listen to your body. Really notice how much it's been distracting you. Feel your arousal--it's so strong, so powerful that you can't imagine how you've resisted it for so long."
"I..." Lita paused for a moment, the pendant wavering in her mind's eye, and then she felt it. Her cunt ached with a sudden, pleasant warmth, a sensual heat that instantly became the center of all her attention. "Ohhh," she gasped, her hips gently twitching as she felt the sensation building. "I feel it, yesss..."
"That's right, Lita," Doctor Butler said. He took her hand in his own and lifted it carefully, resting it on her crotch. "You need to release all that need, all that desire. It's the only way you'll be able to truly focus again. You need to cum, don't you?"
"Yes, Doctor," Lita moaned. She slid her hand into the waistband of her panties, feeling her fingers brush through her damp bush and caress her pubic mound with a desperate intensity. "I need to cum, I need to...oh!" She touched her pussy lips and came away slick with moisture. Then she touched again and she couldn't move her hand away if she tried.
"Very good, Lita," Doctor Butler said, stroking her temples as she masturbated. "You can see now just how powerful your sex drive is, can't you? How it's been controlling you for so long that you stopped even noticing."
"Yes, Doctor, oh yes oh yes oh yes," Lita babbled as she slid two fingers deep into her snatch and began to thrust them in and out. Her other hand was busy rubbing at her clit, sliding over the slick nub again and again and again until she thought she would almost cry from the sheer bliss of it all. She couldn't think about anything else but pleasuring herself. Even Doctor Butler's words simply floated through her mind without her really realizing what he was saying.
"And you can't let that happen, Lita," Doctor Butler said, gently stroking her cheek. "It's too important to be centered, to be calm, to be focused. You need to make good decisions when you leave here. Letting your arousal guide you doesn't do that."
"Yes, Doctor," she groaned, the words slurred almost into unrecognizability as she fingered herself. She could actually hear herself masturbate now, her fingers stirring her slippery cunt with frantic intensity. The orgasm building inside her was almost terrifyingly strong, like she needed to cling to something when it hit or it would wash her away completely.
"But your arousal is too powerful for you to control it, Lita," Doctor Butler said, his words sinking through the fog of desire in her mind right into her subconscious. "And if you can't control your arousal, and you can't let your arousal control you, what can you do?"
Lita whimpered, her hips bucking under her fingers. "I don't know," she gasped out. "Please I can't think, please, I please..." She didn't even know what she was asking for anymore. All that mattered now was satisfying the ache in her pussy.
"You need to let someone else make those decisions, Lita," Doctor Butler said. His hands weren't touching her face anymore. They were somewhere else, but Lita was too lost in pleasure to care or even notice. "You need someone else to tell you who to fuck, when to cum. That's the only way you'll be able to keep yourself focused, if you know that you can rely on someone to help you make the right decisions, to control your aroused and needy body for you. Doesn't that sound good?"
"Yes please yes please yes please," Lita chanted the words in time to her strokes, adding a third finger to stretch her pussy as far as she could. Her clit felt like a second heartbeat under her thumb, pounding with arousal as she rubbed it helplessly.
"Who would you like that person to be?" Doctor Butler asked, punctuating each word with a flick of her nipples.
"You!" Lita gasped out, unable to think of anyone else. Or anything else. "PLEASE!"
"Good girl," Doctor Butler said. "Now cum for me, Lita."
Lita's entire body tightened in a continual muscle spasm as the hardest orgasm of her life ripped through her. She felt her pussy juices gushing out under her fingers, soaking her panties and leaving her jumpsuit dripping as she came and came and came. Her cunt clamped down on her fingers like a vise, surging with pleasure over and over and over again as Lita screamed through clenched teeth. "That's right," Doctor Butler said, putting his arms around her as she felt the quakes of pleasure gradually subside into aftershocks. "That's a good girl. That's my good girl."
Afterward, he led her into a small bathroom just off of his office and helped her clean herself up and change. "I always keep a few spare jumpsuits," he said, unlocking her shackles so she could get undressed. "Therapy can be an intense experience for many, and you'd be surprised what can happen to clothing in the course of a session."
Lita just nodded, too relaxed to care. She felt like she was floating in a cloud of perfect serenity, completely centered on Doctor Butler's words and the drifting afterglow of pleasure in her pussy. It was such a relief to realize that she didn't have to worry about making all those frustrating decisions anymore--all she needed to do now was focus on Doctor Butler, and take her cues from him. It felt so easy to let go and trust him completely.
The guard came back for her, and was surprised to see Lita greet her with an easy smile. "Same time next week?" she asked Doctor Butler.
"Same time next week," he said.
*****
Lita walked into the office, reveling in each long stride she took across the room. "Check it out!" she said excitedly, waving her hands over her head. "I got no bling to hold me down, huh, doc?"
"Very nice," he said as the guard closed the door behind her. "With your parole hearing tomorrow, I'd say that's definitely a good sign." He sat down in the chair at the foot of the couch. "How are you feeling about that, by the way?"
Lita's smile vanished and she let out a heavy sigh. "Pretty damn freaked," she said as she sat down on the couch. "I keep trying to remember what you told me and stay centered, but..."
Doctor Butler nodded. "I'm assuming you're still not interested in using hypnosis to calm down?"
Lita shook her head. "I trust you, you know that, but I don't think I'll ever be okay with giving someone control over my mind like that. Not even you, doc. No offense."
"None taken," he replied, chuckling ruefully. "Wide awake, Lita." She slumped back onto the couch in a rush of instant relaxation, her eyes slamming shut and her muscles going instantly limp. "Very good, Lita. It always feels good to be wide awake for me, doesn't it?"
"Yes, Doctor," she said softly, already seeing the pendant began to swing back and forth in her mind. "I feel deeply peaceful and attentive when I am wide awake for you."
"That's just wonderful, Lita," he replied. She heard the rustle of clothing from the chair. "Now, let's talk about the parole hearing tomorrow. You said you were nervous?"
"Yes, Doctor." She got another surge of anxiety all over again as she spoke, but she could already feel it disappearing into the pendant's calming dance. "It's been very difficult staying calm and centered the last few days. I thought about asking to see you again, but I wasn't sure you would be available."
"Let's dispel those worries right now," Doctor Butler said firmly. "You can always reach out to me whenever you're having difficulty focusing, whether your parole hearing is successful or not. It's very important that you come to me any time you feel less than centered, Lita. Do you understand that? Any time you have difficulty staying focused on my suggestions, you will return to me and I will help you find this same peace and contentment you feel right now."
"Yes, Doctor," Lita murmured, her tension melting away completely into Doctor Butler's words and the pendant's endless, dazzling sway. "I will return to you whenever I need to feel centered."
"Good girl," Doctor Butler said. "You're feeling very centered right now, aren't you? Your mind is relaxed and fully able to concentrate on my words, knowing that my suggestions always feel so wonderful." Lita sighed contentedly in response.
"I'd like you to open your eyes now," Doctor Butler continued. "That's right, just open them easily and effortlessly, staying right here in that state of perfect peace and relaxation, still concentrating on my words." Lita's eyes fluttered open reluctantly, still half-focused on the pendant swinging in her imagination.
She saw Doctor Butler sitting in his chair, completely nude but looking as composed as ever. His clothing had been neatly folded and set on the desk, and he was gently caressing his cock as he stared at her. "Very good, Lita," he said, his voice thick with arousal. "Now, do you remember what we discussed last week?"
"Yes, Doctor," Lita replied, her eyes locking onto Doctor Butler's penis just as easily as they had focused on the pendant. "I remember. I learned that my arousal controls me, and I decided to trust you to control my arousal."
"That's right, Lita," he said. His cock visibly twitched in his hand as he spoke. "Your arousal controls you, and I control your arousal. That's exactly right. When I tell you to feel deep sexual desire, Lita, what happens?"
Lita sighed as a slow, lazy wave of sexual heat rolled over her. "I become deeply aroused," she moaned out, squirming slightly as she lay on the couch. She wanted to touch herself like last week, but she understood now that her feelings sometimes led her to make bad decisions. She knew that she needed to wait for Doctor Butler to tell her how to release her pent-up need.
"You're doing so well, Lita," Doctor Butler responded. "Stand up for me and take off your clothing."
"Yes, Doctor." Lita stood up, her body feeling almost as if it floated up off of the couch. She pulled the zipper down on her jumpsuit and shrugged out of it easily, then pulled her panties down and stepped out of them as well. Finally she unhooked her bra and let it fall onto the pile of garments.
"Excellent." He gestured to her. "Now, come to me." Lita stepped over to the end of the couch without really thinking about it--she was in the control of her arousal now, and her arousal was in Doctor Butler's control. It was only natural that her body would move at his command.
"Good girl," he said. "I'd like you to get down on your knees now."
Lita sank into a kneeling position, her gaze now entirely centered on Doctor Butler's throbbing cock. This close, she could see each tiny pulse of his arousal as he idly stroked his erection for her. He reached out with his other hand, knotting his fingers into Lita's long dark hair, and she knew exactly what he wanted without being told. She leaned in and slowly, sensuously slid her lips over the head of his penis.
"That's right," he gasped, his voice finally losing some of its deliberate veneer of calm. "You're following my suggestions so perfectly, Lita, and that feels so...so wonderful. You feel perfectly centered right now, focused on pleasing me...you, oh, you love this so much, you're so relaxed now..."
Lita felt herself relaxing completely, allowing his cock to slide all the way down into her throat as she took his full length into her mouth. It was so easy to relax like this, so easy to let her arousal control her and to let him control her arousal. She felt perfectly at ease like this, like she could suck him off for hours. She tried to say, "Yes, Doctor," but it just came out as a hum around his shaft in her mouth. The way he pressed her down further against his crotch told her that even that pleased him, though.
She could taste his pre-cum on her tongue, but he didn't shoot his load into her mouth like she thought he would. Instead, he lifted her back off and guided her into a standing position. "And back down," he said, as he maneuvered her into straddling his hips. She sank onto his cock with a slow, whimpering sigh, taking his full length in a single thrust.
"So good," he moaned, guiding her up and down, again and again. "Feels so good, fucking me, so good, obeying me, so fucking good when I control your arousal and your body and all your thoughts focus on pleasing me, so fucking good..."
Lita barely even processed his words. Her whole mind was centered on matching the rhythm of his thrusts, pounding his cock inside of her as her tits bounced up and down in time to their sex. She heard herself moaning, but she couldn't stop. She couldn't control herself at all anymore. She didn't want to, not when it felt so good to let Doctor Butler control her instead.
"Oh, fuck, oh fuck, fuck yes, cumming cumming cum for me cum for me good girl good girl good gnnnh!" Doctor Butler's hips strained upwards in a long, sustained spasm of orgasmic bliss, and Lita ground down to meet him as her clit throbbed in ecstasy right along with him. She let out one last, strangled gasp and slumped down on top of him, shuddering as the echoes of her pleasure washed over her and through her.
It felt like they lay together for only a few minutes, with Doctor Butler whispering quietly in her ear as she cuddled up to his warm, soft skin, but Lita knew that she lost track of time easily when she was focused on obedience. That was perfectly normal--time was just another distraction that she ignored when she was wide awake like this. Luckily, Doctor Butler reminded her that they needed to get dressed again before the guard showed up. He was always helping her avoid bad decisions like that.
"See you at the hearing tomorrow," Doctor Butler said, just before she left.
Lita felt another twinge of panic at the thought, but the pendant in her mind smoothed it all away.
*****
Lita sat behind the table, her hands folded in front of her, her face composed into an expression of sincere penitence. She looked up at the parole board member as she read out the board's decision, not betraying a hint of worry.
"...and so, based on the recommendation of Doctor Henry Butler, it is the decision of this parole board that you be granted parole." Lita's face broke out into a wide smile, but it faded again when the woman continued. "However, given your age at time of sentencing and disciplinary history in this facility, we believe that it would be best to remand you to a rehabilitative program--a halfway house--rather than simply releasing you to fend for yourself without a chance to acclimatize to life outside of prison."
Lita nodded soberly, as if she expected exactly this news. "I understand," she said. She looked each board member in the eye and said, "Thank you for giving me this chance."
The woman banged her gavel. "Then it is so ordered. You will be remanded into the custody of the Butler Home, with your eventual release contingent on successful completion of a rehabilitation program to the standards of chief of staff Doctor Henry Butler. I hope that you do not disappoint Doctor Butler, young lady. It is only due to his personal belief in your ability to become a productive member of society once more that we have granted you this parole."
Lita looked over to where Doctor Butler sat, beaming with approval. "I will do everything I can to make him proud of me," she said. "I promise." A few members of the parole board looked surprised--they'd probably expected some sort of outburst from her about the lecture the woman had tacked on to the verdict, something they could use to justify sending her back into her cell. But Lita was too centered for that. She saw only the pendant in her mind's eye, focused only on the thought of leaving the facility and going to the new home Doctor Butler had told him about. She kept her thoughts on sucking his cock, just the way he'd instructed, to prevent her arousal from interfering with her concentration.
Lita's eyes were open, but inside, she was wide awake.
THE END
The guard kept her moving down the corridor, clearly enjoying the way Lita had to waddle quickly to keep up, until they reached a thick wooden door with a nameplate on it. 'Henry Butler, M.D.', it read. Below that, in smaller letters, it said 'Staff Psychiatrist'. The guard knocked on the door. In a bored voice, she called out, "Gutierrez is here, Doctor."
After a moment, the door opened to reveal a Caucasian man in his early forties. His sandy blond hair had just a touch of gray, difficult to spot under the dim fluorescent lighting, and he wore a suit but no jacket. Lita caught sight of it hanging off the back of his office chair. He had a high forehead and cold blue eyes that were magnified by his glasses, making him look a little bit like he was examining her through a microscope. Lita gave a little shiver, hoping he wouldn't notice--she couldn't afford to have this meeting go badly. "Come in," he said in clipped, formal tones, gesturing to the room beyond him. "Have a seat on the couch."
Lita yanked her arm free of the guard before the other woman could release it, and stepped into the room. "Back in an hour," the guard said with a scowl on her face, still managing to sound bored. "You know what to do if she causes trouble." She closed the door, leaving Lita alone with the doctor.
Lita hobbled over to the couch, while Doctor Butler sat down behind his desk again and flipped through some papers. "Do you think you're going to cause trouble, Carmelita?" he asked, his tone deceptively mild.
Lita glared at him. "It's Lita," she said, sitting down on the couch. "Just Lita, okay? And no, I ain't going to cause trouble. Is that what you're writing down in that file? That I'm some kind of psycho or something?" She wished she could calm down, but something about the way he looked at her was putting her on edge. She tried to remind herself that he wasn't the bad guy, that he was the one who was going to let her out of here, but five years in prison had made it hard to trust anyone on the other side of a desk.
Doctor Butler looked up at her, his light blue eyes showing nothing but calm. "I'm not writing anything down, Lita. I'm just going over your records." He glanced down again at the papers. "Please tell me if any of this is incorrect. Your full name is Carmelita Gutierrez, age twenty-one. Born in Los Angeles, self-identify as Hispanic. You had two years of high school before you were arrested at the age of sixteen and tried as an adult for grand theft auto, and sentenced to ten years in prison due to exacerbating factors--"
"Bullshit factors, more like," Lita snapped out. She knew she should be trying to appear calm and contrite--this was the start of the parole process, and making a bad impression on the prison psychiatrist pretty much made sure that she'd be serving out her full sentence--but the injustice of it still stung. "Jaime had a crowbar with him to pop the hood, and I had a screwdriver on me to get at the drive shaft. Fucking D.A. said we were carrying weapons, and the fucking public defender didn't do shit to stop him. A fucking screwdriver, and it tacks seven fucking years onto my sentence. And they call it the fucking justice system."
Doctor Butler closed the file and went around the desk to sit in a chair at the foot of the couch. "So you feel like you were unfairly treated," he said. "Do you think you've been able to channel those emotions constructively?"
Lita shot him a stony glare, but all he did was stare back at her. After a moment, she shrugged derisively. "I got into a few fights, okay?" she admitted reluctantly. She waited for him to respond, but he just kept looking at her. She felt the silence weighing on her, judging her. "So is that it?" she said at last. "I mix it up a little in the exercise yard and I'm all out of chances?"
"Not at all," Doctor Butler said. "But it does mean that if I am to recommend your release, I need to give you some tools to help deal with your anger first, otherwise you'll simply wind up back here again. Neither of us want that."
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small silver pendant. "I've had a great deal of success with patients like yourself using guided meditation," he said, allowing the pendant to hang down at the end of its chain and starting to swing it gently back and forth. "It's a technique that allows you to center yourself when you're feeling frustrated, so that you can return to a state of calm instead of allowing your emotions to control you."
"Hey, whoa, what the fuck?" Lita said loudly in tones of surprise and alarm, looking straight up at the ceiling. "Are you trying to fucking hypnotize me? Because I didn't agree to that!" She flicked her eyes down for a moment to the psychiatrist, just to see whether he was still holding the pendant, then back up to the ceiling as soon as she saw that he was.
"It's okay, Lita," Doctor Butler said soothingly. "You don't have to be hypnotized if you don't want to. You can watch the pendant and remain wide awake. It's just a tool to help you concentrate, that's all."
Lita looked down at him again. His face was set in a smile so calm and mild that it practically didn't exist. He continued to hold the pendant, letting it move from side to side with an effortless motion. She shot her gaze back up to the ceiling again. "I don't want to be hypnotized," she said forcefully.
"Then you won't be," Doctor Butler said calmly. "It's as easy as that. We're going to talk about ways that you can stay focused when your anger is trying to distract you and goad you into making a bad decision, and it helps to have something specific you can focus your attention on. But that doesn't have to be this pendant if you associate it with hypnosis. You can just as easily focus on the ceiling while I talk to you."
Lita snapped her eyes back down to the doctor. "I don't think I want to do that," she said warily. She glared at him, looking for some sign that he was trying to trick her, but his face remained resolutely unreadable. It bugged her--it was like being in a room with a robot. She found herself wanting to do something, yell or scream or punch him in the face, just to get him to react, but she knew that would be the worst thing she could do.
"You don't like being told what to do, do you?" he asked, staring at her with his big pale eyes. She held his gaze for as long as she could, but after a moment she flicked them down to the pendant with a sharp sense of relief.
"I just don't want to be hypnotized, is all," she said sullenly. She had a sudden urge to get up, to hammer on the door and ask to go back to her cell, but she pushed it down. "I don't have a problem with people telling me what to do, I just don't want..." She froze, fumbling in her head for a way to describe it that didn't sound like an insult. She hated the way he was watching her, evaluating her, judging her. She was scared of the way he was trying to get inside her head, make her doubt herself. She felt like he was just like the rest of them, like he wanted to break her down into a good little model prisoner, somebody they could let out who would find some shitty job sweeping floors for someone who was oh-so-fucking proud of themselves for giving her a chance. Somebody who was a nobody.
"...I don't want to be hypnotized," she ended lamely, unable to put any of it into words. She felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment, and stared tightly at the pendant in an effort to shut him out completely.
"And you won't be," Doctor Butler said smoothly. "This is simply a therapeutic exercise, Lita, and you're going to remain wide awake this entire time. You may find yourself calming down, but that doesn't mean you're hypnotized. That simply means that you're finding a way to let go of that aggression, using your focus on the pendant to keep the anger you feel from getting the better of you. As you watch the pendant moving back and forth, you'll find that it's easier and easier to center your thoughts and leave that anger behind."
Lita leaned back onto the couch cushions, trying to at least give the doctor a chance. Just so that he'd at least write down afterwards that she tried. It didn't feel like it was working--she still felt all knotted up with stress no matter how closely she followed the swaying pendant. It just went back and forth, over and over again in a steady motion. It was kind of impressive the way he kept it moving so evenly, but if he thought this was going to calm her down, maybe he was the one who needed a shrink.
"That's right, Lita," he said after a moment. "You're doing an excellent job now. Wide awake but feeling calmer now, more centered and able to listen to me without feeling upset or afraid. Whenever you feel those emotions, you're just going to take a moment and watch the pendant swinging from side to side at the end of the chain, always moving smoothly and effortlessly, until you feel peaceful and relaxed once again. Does that sound good to you, Lita?"
Lita nodded. "Yeah, um, okay," she said, just to let Doctor Butler know that she hadn't zoned out or anything. "That sounds fine." She kept her eyes on the pendant while she talked--she still didn't trust herself to look anywhere else, not while she still felt so messed up inside. At least when she was looking at the pendant, she wasn't looking at him.
"Good," Doctor Butler said. He paused again, letting the silence fall over Lita like a drift of snowflakes. Finally, he said, "Let's revisit our discussion earlier, Lita. Do you feel like you have a problem with authority figures?"
Lita tensed up instantly, but it helped to look at the pendant and not at him while she answered. "Maybe sometimes," she conceded. "A little. It gets under my collar when someone tells me what to do just because they think they can."
Doctor Butler nodded. The pendant didn't jostle even a tiny bit. "But it's only a problem when you let that anger distract you," he said. "When you're wide awake like this, your mind free of all distractions, it doesn't bother you, does it?"
Lita thought about it for a minute. She could feel the anger welling up inside her, telling her that the doctor was telling her that she should just swallow all that bullshit and stop getting mad about it, but as soon as the feelings built up they faded away. She just watched the pendant sparkling at the end of the silver chain and let them all go. "I guess not," she said at last. It felt like a relief to give up that frustration.
"That's good, Lita," he said, his tone still studiously neutral. "So when you're wide awake like this, calm and centered and focused on the pendant and my voice, you don't have any problem listening to me and adopting my suggestions. You know I'm here to help you, and everything I say to you is intended to make your situation better. You can listen to my words easily and accept them into your mind without any anger or resentment. Isn't that right, Lita?"
Lita nodded warily. She wasn't sure she believed him, but she had to admit that it was a lot easier to listen to what he had to say without that constant simmer of emotion clouding her thoughts. It felt like she had let go of a weight she didn't even know she was carrying. She let out a long sigh of relaxation, feeling the tension in her body uncoil as she followed the pendant with her eyes.
"Very good, Lita!" Doctor Butler said. Even his praise sounded calculated, but Lita felt her irritation about that vanish into the dance and sway of the shiny silver pendant as it swung at the end of the chain. "And now that you know now that you can become more and more relaxed, more and more peaceful without being hypnotized, you can just watch the pendant for me a while longer, Lita, letting your thoughts focus completely on the pendant and my words. Everything else can fade away."
Lita nodded again, with a little more enthusiasm this time. "Everything else can fade away," she agreed happily. She shifted position slightly so that her body rested more easily on the couch. She felt her lips part into a slight smile as she stared at the pendant, letting her head remain perfectly still while her eyes followed its movement. It felt so easy. All she had to do was pay attention to the motion and listen to Doctor Butler, and all that messy junk in her head went away leaving her calm and relaxed and focused.
Doctor Butler stood up, but it didn't matter--Lita followed the motion of the pendant perfectly easily as it rose in her field of vision. She felt like she didn't need to even try to focus on it anymore. It just happened all on its own, the sparkle of light on the silver pendant drawing her gaze easily and effortlessly. Lita couldn't remember when she'd felt this peaceful--even sleep didn't feel as restful as sitting here and listening to Doctor Butler talk.
"And you'll find," he said, "that you can come back to this alert, calm place in your mind very easily, Lita, whenever you want to. I know that you feel very peaceful here, very relaxed, and I know how much you want to remain in this state. So I might remind you of it from time to time, just by saying the words, 'wide awake' to you, and that will act to let you know that it's okay to focus your attention on the pendant and let everything else fade away. Even when you don't actually see the pendant in front of you, you'll find it very easy to imagine it in your mind, swinging from side to side and helping you find this relaxed and focused place. Does that sound good, Lita?"
"Yes, Doctor," Lita responded. She felt a wave of relief wash through her body as she let go of all her worries and just watched the pendant as it swung overhead. She couldn't even remember what she was so afraid of. Doctor Butler had said he wasn't going to hypnotize her, and he hadn't. All he'd done was help her concentrate, and it felt so amazing to be free of all those distractions and completely focused, completely rested, completely relaxed and aware of everything he said without anything else to get in the way.
The pendant kept moving until it was almost directly over Lita's head now. She felt her eyelids fluttering with the strain of following it with her gaze, but Doctor Butler must have noticed because he said to her, "It's okay, Lita. You can close your eyes and remain just as wide awake as you were." Lita gave up the struggle to keep them open and simply laid there, peaceful and relaxed. She didn't need to think about anything right now. She could just enjoy the moment, just picture the pendant in her mind and let it be the center of her world. That sounded so perfect.
After a few minutes, she felt Doctor Butler put his hand on her shoulder. She opened her eyes slowly, blinking once or twice in confusion. "What's going on?" she said.
"The guard will be here momentarily," he said, smiling gently at her. "I thought you might want to compose yourself before she arrives."
"Oh, um..." Lita looked up at the clock. Sure enough, a whole hour had gone past in what she thought was just a couple of minutes. "Yeah, thanks. Sorry, I guess I kind of lost track of time."
"It's okay," Doctor Butler said. "That happens sometimes when we're concentrating. It's perfectly normal, nothing to be concerned about."
Lita smiled. "Then I won't worry about it. Thanks, Doctor. I think I'm feeling better already."
"Good!" They heard a knock on the door. "Same time next week, then?"
Lita nodded. She was looking forward to it already.
*****
"So," Doctor Butler said as the guard closed the door, "I was wondering what your thoughts were on attempting hypnosis."
Lita sat down on the couch and shook her head gingerly. "It's not that I don't trust you, Doctor," she said apologetically. "I just don't feel comfortable with it. It feels weird." She hesitated a moment. "That's okay, right?"
Doctor Butler smiled. "It's perfectly okay, Lita," he replied. "I've already told you, I won't hypnotize you if you don't want me to. You can always be wide awake for me."
Lita smiled and lay back on the couch, her eyes closing. "Oh good," she said softly, worries she didn't even know she had fading away instantly. "I'm so glad I can trust you." She decided to focus her thoughts on Doctor Butler's pendant instead of getting worked up over hypnosis that wasn't even going to happen.
"Instead, Lita, I'd like to talk to you a bit about the offense that put you here." Lita felt herself tense up briefly, but then the pendant in her mind flashed from right to left and the tension fell away with it. "I've read through your file, but I'd like to hear from you why you decided to steal that car."
Lita gave a tiny shrug, too relaxed to do anything more. "Because I was stupid," she said. "I mean, not stupid stupid. Just teenage stupid. I was hanging out with Jaime after school, and he asked me if I wanted to go for a ride, and I thought he was really cool so I said sure. And it turned out he didn't have a car, but I didn't want him to think I was, y'know, scared. So I went along with him."
"Why do you think you went along with him?" Doctor Butler asked.
Lita sifted through her thoughts. It felt so much easier to talk about it like this, when she could let all the bitterness she'd been hanging onto all these years go and watch the pendant swaying in her mind's eye instead. She could feel all the defensive rationalizations falling away as her eyes moved smoothly back and forth beneath her eyelids, until she was ready to admit the truth to Doctor Butler...and maybe to herself.
"Because he was cute," she said at last. "I was sixteen and horny and he was seventeen and ripped, and I was hoping he was going to take me somewhere in his car and fuck me."
"So your hormones were making all the decisions for you?" Doctor Butler asked, a twinkle of humor in his voice.
"I guess so," Lita said, smiling sheepishly with her eyes still tightly shut. "Like I said, I was a dumb teenager. I wasn't really thinking."
"That sounds like it could be part of the cause of your problem, Lita," Doctor Butler said, almost as if to himself. "I think you have difficulty making good decisions when you're distracted--that's why you're doing so well in here, because you're completely focused on my words and shutting everything else out so easily. But if your body is constantly trying to get your attention, you can't really focus on making the right choices, can you?"
Lita listened to his words intently, letting her thoughts center on the pendant in her mind while she took everything in. Once she heard it directly from Doctor Butler's lips, she had a hard time denying it--she remembered sitting next to Jaime on the school steps, feeling that liquid heat between her thighs like a tangible pull on her thoughts. She remembered tensing up with fear when she realized what he was suggesting, the twisting feeling in her gut fighting with the wetness in her pussy and finally losing as he looked at her with those arrogant eyes and asked if she was ready to have a little fun for a change. She remembered the way that her arousal mingled with the terror when they broke into the car, leaving her exhilarated in a way she'd never imagined, making the whole thing seem so perfect... "I think...maybe you're right," she said quietly, almost surprised at the idea.
"Of course I'm right," Doctor Butler said, his voice filled with unshakable certainty. "When you get turned on, it's very hard for you to think straight. All that sexual energy is just another distraction, Lita, and it's been distracting you for a long time now. You've been very horny since getting to prison, haven't you?"
Lita almost whimpered out her answer, but the pendant kept her focused and centered. "Yes," she said. "All the time." There was nowhere private in jail; even in the shower or the toilet, someone could walk in on you. Some of the girls didn't mind, or even liked being watched, but Lita could never get past it. She'd fingered herself a few times, under the covers after lights out, but it always felt furtive and unsatisfying. She'd resigned herself a long time ago to waiting, and she'd almost convinced herself that it had worked until now.
"And that's been distracting, hasn't it?" She could hear Doctor Butler's voice close to her ear now, like he was kneeling next to her. She almost opened her eyes to look, but then the pendant in her mind swung again and she decided it was easier to stay focused on that. "When you think back on all those fights you got into, you can remember all that tension and frustration looking for a place to escape. And you didn't know how to deal with it."
"Yes, Doctor," she replied. It felt like a natural response now.
She heard the zipper of her jumpsuit as it slowly dragged down the length of her body, tooth by tooth. "I'd like you to focus on that for a moment, Lita," Doctor Butler said. "Just take a moment, here in this safe space with me, and listen to your body. Really notice how much it's been distracting you. Feel your arousal--it's so strong, so powerful that you can't imagine how you've resisted it for so long."
"I..." Lita paused for a moment, the pendant wavering in her mind's eye, and then she felt it. Her cunt ached with a sudden, pleasant warmth, a sensual heat that instantly became the center of all her attention. "Ohhh," she gasped, her hips gently twitching as she felt the sensation building. "I feel it, yesss..."
"That's right, Lita," Doctor Butler said. He took her hand in his own and lifted it carefully, resting it on her crotch. "You need to release all that need, all that desire. It's the only way you'll be able to truly focus again. You need to cum, don't you?"
"Yes, Doctor," Lita moaned. She slid her hand into the waistband of her panties, feeling her fingers brush through her damp bush and caress her pubic mound with a desperate intensity. "I need to cum, I need to...oh!" She touched her pussy lips and came away slick with moisture. Then she touched again and she couldn't move her hand away if she tried.
"Very good, Lita," Doctor Butler said, stroking her temples as she masturbated. "You can see now just how powerful your sex drive is, can't you? How it's been controlling you for so long that you stopped even noticing."
"Yes, Doctor, oh yes oh yes oh yes," Lita babbled as she slid two fingers deep into her snatch and began to thrust them in and out. Her other hand was busy rubbing at her clit, sliding over the slick nub again and again and again until she thought she would almost cry from the sheer bliss of it all. She couldn't think about anything else but pleasuring herself. Even Doctor Butler's words simply floated through her mind without her really realizing what he was saying.
"And you can't let that happen, Lita," Doctor Butler said, gently stroking her cheek. "It's too important to be centered, to be calm, to be focused. You need to make good decisions when you leave here. Letting your arousal guide you doesn't do that."
"Yes, Doctor," she groaned, the words slurred almost into unrecognizability as she fingered herself. She could actually hear herself masturbate now, her fingers stirring her slippery cunt with frantic intensity. The orgasm building inside her was almost terrifyingly strong, like she needed to cling to something when it hit or it would wash her away completely.
"But your arousal is too powerful for you to control it, Lita," Doctor Butler said, his words sinking through the fog of desire in her mind right into her subconscious. "And if you can't control your arousal, and you can't let your arousal control you, what can you do?"
Lita whimpered, her hips bucking under her fingers. "I don't know," she gasped out. "Please I can't think, please, I please..." She didn't even know what she was asking for anymore. All that mattered now was satisfying the ache in her pussy.
"You need to let someone else make those decisions, Lita," Doctor Butler said. His hands weren't touching her face anymore. They were somewhere else, but Lita was too lost in pleasure to care or even notice. "You need someone else to tell you who to fuck, when to cum. That's the only way you'll be able to keep yourself focused, if you know that you can rely on someone to help you make the right decisions, to control your aroused and needy body for you. Doesn't that sound good?"
"Yes please yes please yes please," Lita chanted the words in time to her strokes, adding a third finger to stretch her pussy as far as she could. Her clit felt like a second heartbeat under her thumb, pounding with arousal as she rubbed it helplessly.
"Who would you like that person to be?" Doctor Butler asked, punctuating each word with a flick of her nipples.
"You!" Lita gasped out, unable to think of anyone else. Or anything else. "PLEASE!"
"Good girl," Doctor Butler said. "Now cum for me, Lita."
Lita's entire body tightened in a continual muscle spasm as the hardest orgasm of her life ripped through her. She felt her pussy juices gushing out under her fingers, soaking her panties and leaving her jumpsuit dripping as she came and came and came. Her cunt clamped down on her fingers like a vise, surging with pleasure over and over and over again as Lita screamed through clenched teeth. "That's right," Doctor Butler said, putting his arms around her as she felt the quakes of pleasure gradually subside into aftershocks. "That's a good girl. That's my good girl."
Afterward, he led her into a small bathroom just off of his office and helped her clean herself up and change. "I always keep a few spare jumpsuits," he said, unlocking her shackles so she could get undressed. "Therapy can be an intense experience for many, and you'd be surprised what can happen to clothing in the course of a session."
Lita just nodded, too relaxed to care. She felt like she was floating in a cloud of perfect serenity, completely centered on Doctor Butler's words and the drifting afterglow of pleasure in her pussy. It was such a relief to realize that she didn't have to worry about making all those frustrating decisions anymore--all she needed to do now was focus on Doctor Butler, and take her cues from him. It felt so easy to let go and trust him completely.
The guard came back for her, and was surprised to see Lita greet her with an easy smile. "Same time next week?" she asked Doctor Butler.
"Same time next week," he said.
*****
Lita walked into the office, reveling in each long stride she took across the room. "Check it out!" she said excitedly, waving her hands over her head. "I got no bling to hold me down, huh, doc?"
"Very nice," he said as the guard closed the door behind her. "With your parole hearing tomorrow, I'd say that's definitely a good sign." He sat down in the chair at the foot of the couch. "How are you feeling about that, by the way?"
Lita's smile vanished and she let out a heavy sigh. "Pretty damn freaked," she said as she sat down on the couch. "I keep trying to remember what you told me and stay centered, but..."
Doctor Butler nodded. "I'm assuming you're still not interested in using hypnosis to calm down?"
Lita shook her head. "I trust you, you know that, but I don't think I'll ever be okay with giving someone control over my mind like that. Not even you, doc. No offense."
"None taken," he replied, chuckling ruefully. "Wide awake, Lita." She slumped back onto the couch in a rush of instant relaxation, her eyes slamming shut and her muscles going instantly limp. "Very good, Lita. It always feels good to be wide awake for me, doesn't it?"
"Yes, Doctor," she said softly, already seeing the pendant began to swing back and forth in her mind. "I feel deeply peaceful and attentive when I am wide awake for you."
"That's just wonderful, Lita," he replied. She heard the rustle of clothing from the chair. "Now, let's talk about the parole hearing tomorrow. You said you were nervous?"
"Yes, Doctor." She got another surge of anxiety all over again as she spoke, but she could already feel it disappearing into the pendant's calming dance. "It's been very difficult staying calm and centered the last few days. I thought about asking to see you again, but I wasn't sure you would be available."
"Let's dispel those worries right now," Doctor Butler said firmly. "You can always reach out to me whenever you're having difficulty focusing, whether your parole hearing is successful or not. It's very important that you come to me any time you feel less than centered, Lita. Do you understand that? Any time you have difficulty staying focused on my suggestions, you will return to me and I will help you find this same peace and contentment you feel right now."
"Yes, Doctor," Lita murmured, her tension melting away completely into Doctor Butler's words and the pendant's endless, dazzling sway. "I will return to you whenever I need to feel centered."
"Good girl," Doctor Butler said. "You're feeling very centered right now, aren't you? Your mind is relaxed and fully able to concentrate on my words, knowing that my suggestions always feel so wonderful." Lita sighed contentedly in response.
"I'd like you to open your eyes now," Doctor Butler continued. "That's right, just open them easily and effortlessly, staying right here in that state of perfect peace and relaxation, still concentrating on my words." Lita's eyes fluttered open reluctantly, still half-focused on the pendant swinging in her imagination.
She saw Doctor Butler sitting in his chair, completely nude but looking as composed as ever. His clothing had been neatly folded and set on the desk, and he was gently caressing his cock as he stared at her. "Very good, Lita," he said, his voice thick with arousal. "Now, do you remember what we discussed last week?"
"Yes, Doctor," Lita replied, her eyes locking onto Doctor Butler's penis just as easily as they had focused on the pendant. "I remember. I learned that my arousal controls me, and I decided to trust you to control my arousal."
"That's right, Lita," he said. His cock visibly twitched in his hand as he spoke. "Your arousal controls you, and I control your arousal. That's exactly right. When I tell you to feel deep sexual desire, Lita, what happens?"
Lita sighed as a slow, lazy wave of sexual heat rolled over her. "I become deeply aroused," she moaned out, squirming slightly as she lay on the couch. She wanted to touch herself like last week, but she understood now that her feelings sometimes led her to make bad decisions. She knew that she needed to wait for Doctor Butler to tell her how to release her pent-up need.
"You're doing so well, Lita," Doctor Butler responded. "Stand up for me and take off your clothing."
"Yes, Doctor." Lita stood up, her body feeling almost as if it floated up off of the couch. She pulled the zipper down on her jumpsuit and shrugged out of it easily, then pulled her panties down and stepped out of them as well. Finally she unhooked her bra and let it fall onto the pile of garments.
"Excellent." He gestured to her. "Now, come to me." Lita stepped over to the end of the couch without really thinking about it--she was in the control of her arousal now, and her arousal was in Doctor Butler's control. It was only natural that her body would move at his command.
"Good girl," he said. "I'd like you to get down on your knees now."
Lita sank into a kneeling position, her gaze now entirely centered on Doctor Butler's throbbing cock. This close, she could see each tiny pulse of his arousal as he idly stroked his erection for her. He reached out with his other hand, knotting his fingers into Lita's long dark hair, and she knew exactly what he wanted without being told. She leaned in and slowly, sensuously slid her lips over the head of his penis.
"That's right," he gasped, his voice finally losing some of its deliberate veneer of calm. "You're following my suggestions so perfectly, Lita, and that feels so...so wonderful. You feel perfectly centered right now, focused on pleasing me...you, oh, you love this so much, you're so relaxed now..."
Lita felt herself relaxing completely, allowing his cock to slide all the way down into her throat as she took his full length into her mouth. It was so easy to relax like this, so easy to let her arousal control her and to let him control her arousal. She felt perfectly at ease like this, like she could suck him off for hours. She tried to say, "Yes, Doctor," but it just came out as a hum around his shaft in her mouth. The way he pressed her down further against his crotch told her that even that pleased him, though.
She could taste his pre-cum on her tongue, but he didn't shoot his load into her mouth like she thought he would. Instead, he lifted her back off and guided her into a standing position. "And back down," he said, as he maneuvered her into straddling his hips. She sank onto his cock with a slow, whimpering sigh, taking his full length in a single thrust.
"So good," he moaned, guiding her up and down, again and again. "Feels so good, fucking me, so good, obeying me, so fucking good when I control your arousal and your body and all your thoughts focus on pleasing me, so fucking good..."
Lita barely even processed his words. Her whole mind was centered on matching the rhythm of his thrusts, pounding his cock inside of her as her tits bounced up and down in time to their sex. She heard herself moaning, but she couldn't stop. She couldn't control herself at all anymore. She didn't want to, not when it felt so good to let Doctor Butler control her instead.
"Oh, fuck, oh fuck, fuck yes, cumming cumming cum for me cum for me good girl good girl good gnnnh!" Doctor Butler's hips strained upwards in a long, sustained spasm of orgasmic bliss, and Lita ground down to meet him as her clit throbbed in ecstasy right along with him. She let out one last, strangled gasp and slumped down on top of him, shuddering as the echoes of her pleasure washed over her and through her.
It felt like they lay together for only a few minutes, with Doctor Butler whispering quietly in her ear as she cuddled up to his warm, soft skin, but Lita knew that she lost track of time easily when she was focused on obedience. That was perfectly normal--time was just another distraction that she ignored when she was wide awake like this. Luckily, Doctor Butler reminded her that they needed to get dressed again before the guard showed up. He was always helping her avoid bad decisions like that.
"See you at the hearing tomorrow," Doctor Butler said, just before she left.
Lita felt another twinge of panic at the thought, but the pendant in her mind smoothed it all away.
*****
Lita sat behind the table, her hands folded in front of her, her face composed into an expression of sincere penitence. She looked up at the parole board member as she read out the board's decision, not betraying a hint of worry.
"...and so, based on the recommendation of Doctor Henry Butler, it is the decision of this parole board that you be granted parole." Lita's face broke out into a wide smile, but it faded again when the woman continued. "However, given your age at time of sentencing and disciplinary history in this facility, we believe that it would be best to remand you to a rehabilitative program--a halfway house--rather than simply releasing you to fend for yourself without a chance to acclimatize to life outside of prison."
Lita nodded soberly, as if she expected exactly this news. "I understand," she said. She looked each board member in the eye and said, "Thank you for giving me this chance."
The woman banged her gavel. "Then it is so ordered. You will be remanded into the custody of the Butler Home, with your eventual release contingent on successful completion of a rehabilitation program to the standards of chief of staff Doctor Henry Butler. I hope that you do not disappoint Doctor Butler, young lady. It is only due to his personal belief in your ability to become a productive member of society once more that we have granted you this parole."
Lita looked over to where Doctor Butler sat, beaming with approval. "I will do everything I can to make him proud of me," she said. "I promise." A few members of the parole board looked surprised--they'd probably expected some sort of outburst from her about the lecture the woman had tacked on to the verdict, something they could use to justify sending her back into her cell. But Lita was too centered for that. She saw only the pendant in her mind's eye, focused only on the thought of leaving the facility and going to the new home Doctor Butler had told him about. She kept her thoughts on sucking his cock, just the way he'd instructed, to prevent her arousal from interfering with her concentration.
Lita's eyes were open, but inside, she was wide awake.
THE END