Perverts who have found themselves in a bit of a rut ever since Hustler ceased publication of its annual Hot Mennonite Chicks issue got an unexpected bonus this week when the Department of Health and Horny Services released the long-awaited rules and regulations for formally scoring a session of sexual intercourse. The complete rules are available online for...
I got an interesting bit of feedback from a reader the other day: "Great story, but you can't call it a blowjob if she uses her hands. If the hands are involved, it's called a handjob - that's cheating! Blowjobs are all mouth and nothing but the mouth..." Huh! Really? Who knew? And how come no one ever told me about this rule? I certainly didn't kn...
I was sitting at my desk, quickly checking e-mail while my wife was in the bathroom. We were making a quick stop before heading home, after her lucky visit to an awards show, since my office was (basically) across the street from the venue. Just as I was wondering what was taking her so long, I heard a knock, and saw her arm reaching through the doorway, an...
The Stag NIght This is a True Story. The Stag Night. A while back I went, with around 30 of my pals to our annual stag night. There were to be two strippers and a comedian. After our meal we got drinks and sat down to enjoy what was to come. The comedian told a few jokes and then introduced the first stripper. She was a beautiful slim, long haired brune...
Roger: "Good evening and welcome to the first Sexual Athletics final of the 2024 Rio de Janeiro Olympics – the much anticipated Team Freestyle competition. My name is Roger Codger and I'm here today with Lily "The Vacuum" Love, the British double silver medallist in the Individual Technique and Double Volume Fellatio events from the Bangkok Olympics, four ye...
Summer Solstice Dedication Whipping and Dildo Play! I took Mistress J to the store to buy her smocks for work. This was my fine for disobedience to her words as we agreed upon beforehand. Before J performs her Rite of Summer dedicating a ritual whipping I must give pleasure to my mistress with gifts; food and clothing. She was glad to receive the gifts prom...
(Author's note: based on an idea from my dear friend Kees, with some input from him about the wording in places.) "Are you really sure there's no other way?" the pretty young woman asked, her eyes wide in disbelief. "Well, according to the surgeon's referral, the only other way to save the patient's life is a full amputation. Bunch of slackers!" replied Dr...
You read the letter again as the limousine from the regional airport pulls up into the driveway... Dear Robin Nordhal, Hello, you do not know me, but I know you. My name is Randal F. Styles of Jackson, Waverly, Styles, and Kant: LLC. Our firm has had the surreal and sometimes difficult job of representing your estranged great-uncle on your father's side Hor...
Bootsie did something just unforgivable. "Don't make any plans this weekend, Darrell," she said breezily. "I've hired a Male Master to work on your attitude problems." Darrell's jaw dropped. "A-a what?" He needed to clean out his ears, he thought. Bootsie smiled. "A male master...he's a friend of Fanchon Nemirow's. You know, you go to ChasteBois wit...
Copyright; Elizabeth Loring, August 25, 2006. All Rights Reserved. (No part of this story may be reproduced for any reason without explicit written permission from the author. Do not remove this copyright statement.) NIGHT TWO – THE MINOR ADJUSTMENTS "No clothes again?" I was asked, in a tone not as sharp as the night before. "No clothes again." I repeate...