“I’m too big to fit in a man sandwich,” Lori said as they got out of the car. Ben laughed as he removed the gas cap. “You’re not that big,” he said while Lori started washing the windows of the Prius. “And no, I’m not trying to talk you into being in a man sandwich.” It was the second stop on their way to Madison to meet with Lori’s girlfriend, Wendy. The...
Note- Seriously, this never really happened. I made it all up in homage to those in celebrity. xxx I pouted and huffed as I adjusted the apron around my waist. What a complete waste of a sunny afternoon spent in a hot kitchen baking bread I thought to myself as I banged the chef hat on top of my head. When I had woken up earlier the sun was already shinin...
There is an emotion I don't know the name for. I would describe the symptoms of this emotion as: anxiety, galvanization to adventure, nervous tension, jealousy and perhaps guilt. Of course these ingredients being only a portion of the mixture, no tasty description can be had. You know it; you have felt this way but can you find the word for it? It is a pa...
In Part 1 of the story John Carroll, a middle-aged dentist, has relocated to a Latin American country to practice his trade and enjoy himself. He has hired a live-in maid, Tina, and made it clear to her that she must satisfy his every need in order to keep the job, which she badly needs. Tina is sexually submissive and has no problem with the arrangement. Jo...
True faith is a fascinating concept, and religion is the titanic (and matriarchal) force with which it is almost always paired. Wondrous and selfless acts have been performed by people in the name of faith. The duo have moved masses to undertake innumerable arduous pilgrimages to various hallowed grounds, or shrines of sacred icons. Wars instigated by the fe...
The following is an absolutely true story, except that the names have been changed to protect the debaucherous. The story is probably too long, and I'm sure most readers will stop believing it at some point. Whatever -- I'm writing this for me anyway! And it is a damn good story, if I do say so. My name is Tim, I'm 42, and I've been fantasizing about advent...
Nick Larkin and I were tripping our nuts off on some really good blotter when we saw her sauntering through the crowd of revelers, most of whom were just as buzzed as we were. No doubt about it; she got some stares, even for a Mardi party. It was the Saturday before Mardi Gras in 2001. I was still single at the time, sharing a house in Mid-City with Nick,...
Chapter 4: Power, Submission and the Blue Tattoo A UFO seeking a hospitable landing site need only locate the night lights of Las Vegas. Billions of megawatts beam their message to all life forms capable of cognition – "Welcome!" "We're Tolerant!" "There's plenty of room to land the largest space craft." "Play! Spend!" Quickly scan the creatures walking the...
As the summer continued, Elle's best friend Kathy, and her husband Vic, invited Elle and Todd to spend a weekend with them at their "Time Share" condo in Provincetown, on the tip of Cape Cod. This was the third year in a row they'd offered the invitation and in each of the previous years, Elle would have to make an excuse for their not being able to make it....
Tawny in Trouble * Tawny looked at her watch. Only 3:15! Another three hours of yuckiness. She smiled broadly, falsely, at the elderly couple coming up the supermarket aisle. "Would you like to try our new vegetarian breakfast sausage?" She proffered a misshapen brown bit of-–something––on a toothpick. "Nutritious! Delicious! No animals slaughtered!...